it's late at night right now I'm trying
to avoid having a camera on around my
family at all in their awake or when
they can hear me in the other room or
anything I thought so for the most part
even though probably a lot of my videos
are in daytime
they're usually during some sort of
panic situation or I have the camera on
and I'm venting that's usually why I
have it on in daylight at hours at all
because I'm always risking them seeing
me on camera overhearing me and usually
I don't think theyíre me but that
doesn't always happen and that's why I'm
like trying to avoid that during
daylight the daytime so basically I'm
well the only reason I'm actually doing
this tonight as far as turning the
camera on isn't for any other specific
reason that I can only think of right
now other than someone someone contacted
me a text message yesterday I responded
and of course I posted a video last
night I felt sitting the text message so
I took a like a screen shot of it from
my iPad so I replied to them and they
talked to me a little bit today on text
messaging that considering that this was
fourth of July kind of part the fourth
of July weekend or whatever they
couldn't talk to me over the phone
and so I assume that's just because
they're on vacation or something but
there's someone from know their phone
numbers the New York City area code so I
know that much and I know their name but
I'm not going to say it on here I'll say
the letters are Z I don't know I'll just
be that as a reference to them are Z
whoever they are like that person they
texted me from their New York City area
code phone number I don't know anybody
in New York City that I can think of
unless it's associated to Christina
Ricci in any way they didn't specify
Christina Ricci but they said as a
celebrity of some kind has
asked him to reach out to pain I guess
so I mean essentially as a leeway or a
whatever whatever the word would be for
the middle person in that situation to
talk about what I'm going through at
home and everything so I'm assuming it's
I could be wrong I don't know if they
didn't Claire they did not clarify that
it's what scenario G so I don't know but
that's the only person I know who you
know knows how to contact me it would be
from New York maybe
so anyway I'm posting this video because
they asked me to say the words new boot
goofin and so I'm not sure what that's
about
there's a to clarify set in the like
video or say in the video as a code and
I'm being like the worst set code
because I just said it acknowledging
that it's code so I have no idea if I
was supposed to say that
that way or not so I'm doing the worst
at this by acknowledging outright it
that's code word but I don't know anyway
if I'm making a mistake doing that way I
feel bad I don't know if that's the
right way to do it I'm pretty naive on
this subject so frankly I have no idea
it could just be a troll for all I know
I have no idea I'm gonna feel like an
internet troll I have no idea and at
this point in my life it's like whatever
you know so I'm just like I was going
through that my like why would they want
me to use those words I kept going on my
was it sound like something that doesn't
sound like anything to me but those
words
so anyway I'm just getting video
acknowledging and I would assume that it
has something to do with clarifying the
person in the video so I don't know
anyway other than that was the only
reason I turned on the camera tonight
it's really hot up here July 4th weekend
and there's no air conditioning in this
house they have like one AC unit in the
living room that's where my older
brother is sleeping right now and not
entering that room because he's an
alcoholic mess who beats me there front
of anybody so he I did not you know
wakes the
the terrible person who beats me so I
stay away from the one room and I was
that has any kind of like decent air
unit in this weather that's like it
feels like it's the 90s to me but I
don't know what it is
could even be close to 100 I'm not sure
it's more humid and whatever the
temperature is so it feels like it's 90
to 100 I don't know what it is but it's
in the middle of night so it's not as
hot as it was the Sun out anyway I'm
rambling and I'm also really sad about
the fact that basically I have no
scheduled appointment to go to my
dermatologist for psoriasis to canceled
on me that has never been clarified as
to how they gets through in that
situation really I mean it's confusing
it has to do with the finances is my
main assumption and they're just being
very difficult so I don't know I'm
trying to go through whatever means to
get on that treatment that I need
because now my psoriasis I mean though
it's not really that visible on like my
body right now unless you like to look
at like my hands I guess it's like it's
starting to show up as like it almost
looks like tiny like acne or something
that it's it's psoriasis if this was the
middle of winter it would be spreading
on me so fast a combined stress factors
all of it would be terrible to take all
that combined would be terrible right
now the summertime weather is the one
thing keeping my technically it's
keeping my body moisturized from the
sweat alone right now probably that like
I'm avoiding wearing any of my nice
dresses I'm wearing this late this one's
nice it's just that um I don't know it
gets a worn out dress it was worn out
when I bought it so it's not like a
priority for me to like keep it nice or
wear it only when I'm out of the shower
you know or you know for a short period
of time or you know not where it wants
sweating obviously so like this is a
nice dress but I need to get more of the
dresses like this eventually because I
really like it but I need to get ones
that aren't so borne out from just
regular wear it's just one of the few
dresses that I wear regardless of
whether I showered it's probably not a
dress it all resell it and at any point
or anything because it's just one of my
old
more or less tattered dresses that's one
of the first dresses I think I ever
bought actually if I remember how much
more but I really liked it anyway so I'm
going on and on a little bit about this
but the main reason why I uploaded this
video was to do that thing requested to
do that code thing and I have no idea if
I did that right I probably like if
you're supposed to say code you're not
supposed to be obvious about it like way
too obvious I'm also really sweating
right now and slightly nervous that have
you overheard but not too nervous
because I think everybody's asleep
anyway just like I'm just sweating from
the heat in this attic right now because
there's no freaking air up here it's not
insulated and there's no windows or the
windows are not providing very much to
me so it's just a mess up here to begin
with and I haven't cleaned it up here in
a while it's me I mainly use this out of
just for storage so to keep all my
fashion stuff because there's nowhere
else to put it if I put other places
people will grab it and put it somewhere
else because they all hate the fashion
stuff from a boy wearing dresses and
their minds that's what all this is down
to and how hideous for me to have facial
areas I haven't shaved in about two or
three days maybe now I think it's been
less than that
say guys shave week on Tuesday and this
is Thursday night so yeah it's been a
couple of weeks since I shaved so I'll
probably shave tomorrow
like before I you know social eyes that
always like usually only go without
shaving days that on that head my house
are these whatever not that it matters
my facial hair grows back in a few hours
that's right shave it like when there's
a five o'clock shadow it literally means
five hours later as far as my hyper
o'clock shadow sounds like it's usually
five hours after I shave I already have
to a chewer again so anyway me or
anything so