yes I did do a video diary huh for today
because it's 4th of July celebration and
I think you can hear it outside Polly on
the video right now as you can hear the
fireworks outside downtown and I'm just
decided to do a video diary for this day
because honestly my family all went to
home first was it like I went out for
4th of July celebrations they left me
alone in this house I pretty sure my
older brother went with them pretty sure
that I'm alone in the house just kind of
a relief really but it's also sad they
just you know didn't communicate about
it at all to me so they clearly didn't
want me to be with them 4th of July
being transgender out of the closet
which they find shameful and that my
older brother beats me Japan that closet
it beats being father so I'm just
getting video those are just getting
video diary right now in general you
know sort of this sort of emotion around
that in my mind I'm like and whatever
just general emotion
being that rejected by your own family
while you're living in their house that
rejection of any acceptance of you it's
not only that they lift me you know be
by myself and obviously they have no
tolerance at me it's not just they left
me tomato egg too you know so Paul the
one whatever self-pity oh right now it's
not just that it's the fact that they
basically I mean they left me in this
house with no air-conditioning it's hot
it's sweltering larry's I have a total
right now or I guess I could whatever
sweater Mira's had the sweater on get
cold really easily from psoriasis so
it's really difficult when we did
actually be in hot weather or the ironic
reason that anytime a cool setting or
suddenly you know windy outside or
anything like that I get really cold
really fast like it feels like the
temperature dropped 25 degrees
yes psoriasis reacts to all climate
shifts and we live in a climate where
it's always shifty the weather in
general that's hot and humid like it
normally is at the beginning of July
it's really hot and humid so I don't
really I shouldn't even be wearing this
diet market because I get cold really
easily I mean I get hot really easily in
this house but I get cold really easily
and I just crazy I don't know I don't
know sure
don't want to be too loud I'm sorry I
just don't hear the fireworks out there
to Mike I've consistently gone to fourth
of July stuff in most ears even without
a car
my system Iceland suspended mr. Backus
in 2015 even without an on suspended
license the past what four years now I
guess like there's and this is only
fourth of July Agnes I can think of I've
always been able to go or at least
always had a way there my dad driving me
places I don't know I'm just that's very
frustrating that you know that when you
have a family that's that dysfunctional
that they do not communicate was you
know and they do communicate with you
it's verbally abusive to such an extreme
they don't care that they're yelling and
shouting causes your body to basically
erupt in blood all over the skin from
psoriasis and they know ellipticals from
stress factor it's like getting shot at
on like crazy
so all that trauma all that traumatizing
experience that was their choice it
wasn't from ignorance of where does it
want to fix me to make me in there it's
wrong so anyway I decided video diary
today about how awful my family is you
know during fourth of July celebrations
they they all went off together all
knowing them beat in the house and even
though you know am I getting beat down
you know at this moment so whatever in
their mind even so I'm burning up
because they refused to have AC in this
house I had to rely on a fan in my
bedroom
like I have like a stand-up and on
full-blast I have to stand in front I've
been get hot air blown on me to find any
circulation in a hot humid house I might
as well be a frigging this might as well
be a jungle in themselves it's a door
like a greenhouse it's the humidity in
here is extreme I'm probably slightly
sweating but anyway I'll take this coat
off I get to try out this video I guess
just getting visual this filed in the
background
I hear over there before the John