Ndifumana ividiyo ngoku ndiphakamile kwigumbi lam
eliphezulu ngoku kwi-Attic indlu
endibethwa kuyo rhoqo ndihlala
kude nosapho lwam ubukhulu becala kwaye
andinakunxibelelana nabo
bantu emva kokupasa iminyaka eliqela
yokuhlaselwa ngokwasemzimbeni ngabantu abakhulu kakhulu
ngakumbi umntakwethu omdala
ndiyathetha ukuba yindoda enkulu kakhulu xa kuthelekiswa
nam uyandibetha kwaye
kutshanje ibiyimini yam yokuzalwa kulo nyaka ndihlala
nje esihogweni kude naye
kushushu apha kuba kungoJulayi ngoku kwaye
akukho kungenisa umoya endlwini
ukuqala ngoku aba bantu
abakholelwa kutyalo-mali kumbindi womoya okanye
umoya opholileyo banoluhlobo
lwemoya yeyunithi kwigumbi labo
lokuhlala Ndineyunithi yomoya
kwigumbi lam lokulala eliqhekekileyo Kwiminyaka eyadlulayo
okwangoku abayi kuyibuyisela endaweni
kufuneka ndisebenze ngokusisiseko
ndinomntu omelene
naye ovuthuzayo kum okanye ndilala kwela gumbi
umama angena kwelo gumbi nanini na
enomsindo ngayo nayiphi na into Into ebomini bakhe
ehlekisayo kuba akananto
yakwenza nomsindo malunga nokuba
ungumcwangcisi zimali onobuncinane obuqhelekileyo obunqwenelekayo
ndinqwenela ukuba bendikwindawo yentselo
ngaphambili ndisela iibhiya ezimbini zedola
kancinci bendonwabela iibhiya ezimbalwa
ngokuhlwanje Ndikhupha okwangoku yonke into
ndibuyile ekhaya kungenxa yeso sizathu sokuba ndifike kwiindawo
zentselo kungenxa yokuba utata
endiqhubile wandiqhuba wandinquma ndamtsalela
umnxeba kwaye wabuya emva kweeyure ezimbalwa emva koko
ndisela iibhiya ezimbini zedola ngexabiso eliphantsi
banayo nakweyiphi na yale miqobo yendawo kwaye
banxibe ngoluhlobo endityala imali
kulo ngokuzama ukuhlala ndigxile
kumxholo ngokusisiseko umama
ngumfazi okwiqondo eliphakathi-kwinqanaba eliphakathi
ngenene akanakudidi
wenza imali eninzi ndicinga
ukuba akandixeleli ukuba wenza malini
kodwa uyala ukundibhatala umvuzo
omncinci ngalo naliphi na ixesha endibhatele ngalo ngotata
endithetha ukuba uhlala
apha nathi kwaye uyandihlawula Ubuncinci
bezinto onokuthi uhlawule nabani na ngazo
Indlu yokucoca impahla kwaye
okwangoku ndinxibe iimpahla zabasetyhini kwaye
aba bantu bandohlwaya ngenxa yoko
bayandiphambela ngokunxiba iimpahla zabasetyhini bendisenza
oko oko bendinxibe iimpahla zabasetyhini
kunye nezithambiso ingakumbi ukusukela
ndandikwishumi elivisayo
njengokuba bendikhe ndangumntu othanda izinto ezintle
kangangexesha elide bendibethwa
ngenxa yayo rhoqo nokuba
kukubethwa ngokwasemzimbeni okanye ukubethwa ngomlomo
ngathi ndihlukumezekile kwaye ndibethwa
kuwe wazi nantoni na
ubuhle phakathi kwam bachithwa
ngomlomo okanye ngokwenyama yintsapho yam ngenye
indlela okanye enye
abazali bam bangumzekelo wokunyaniseka abantu
abachitha inkolelo yam ebufazini bam
kunye nendlela engonelanga ngayo kunye
nokuba iphosakele kangakanani
Ayibalulekanga kubo
bonke kuba bendikhe ndadibana nabafazi
ebomini bam ngoko ke bacinga ukuba kuyothusa
kakhulu ngoku ndiziva ngathi
ndibile iimpuku ziyanda kuba ndizichaza
kwaye Andaz andifuni ukukhwaza
kakhulu apha ukuze le vidiyo
ibe mfutshane kodwa andifuni
ukubila kakhulu apha ndiza
kunxiba kakuhle ndizama ukuhamba
ngesindululo esitsha incinci malunga
nento eyenzekayo ebomini bam
zininzi iingcinga endinazo ndizama
ukunciphisa kancinci apha ngento
ebalulekileyo kum kwaye kwenzeka
ntoni andinalwazi lokuba kuqhubeka ntoni ngoba
ndilahlekile izolo ipolisa lize
endlwini ukundihlola andinalwazi lokuba
kutheni kungazange kubekho nkcazo yokuba
kutheni beze kujonga kum kwaye
mhlawumbi ndizama ukuba
cwaka kancinci kuba andifuni ukukhwaza
kakhulu m kwigumbi eliphezulu kwaye phantsi
kwezitepsi ezantsi kwam uyazi ukuba
abantu basendlini balele kwaye bayathandeka ekhaya kulapho umntakwethu omdala inokuba uyathandeka kwaye uyangxola kwaye uyathandeka ngoyena
mntu undibetha kakhulu
ngoku ndizama ukungafani nokuba
ndizama ukuzola
kancinci ukuze ndithethe ngokusisiseko kule
envi Indawo apho ndihlala khona abazali bam
bayaluvuma ugonyamelo ukuze bandenze
indoda engaphezulu kwimeko yabo andifanelanga nantoni
na engqondweni yabo malunga
nobudoda okanye ubufazi ukuba
bekukho nesiqalo bekungayi kuba kubi kangako
ukuba bacinga enye indlela okanye
enye ayicingi ngandlela thile okanye enye
yonke into abayicingayo kukuba ndiyingxaki
kwimeko yabo uyazi ukuba andazi ukuba ndingayifaka
njani enye indlela
ndingomnye wabo bantu baguqukayo
kodwa andilungelanga naliphi na uhlobo lwento ethethwa yi-
transgender ukuba
ndiyayithanda imfashini yabasetyhini
andizalwanga ngokwendalo ngale ndlela ingqondo
yam ichaphazeleka
ngayo.
Ukuthi ndiyazidibanisa
nengqondo yamadoda apha naphaya
ndiwamkela omabini amacala ombono kwinto
leyo kwaye kunzima kakhulu
ukuyichaza kubantu abanjengentsapho yam bonke
aba bantu baphakamile kakhulu ngalo
mbandela ke ndizama Ukuqhubeka konke
malunga nokuba ndibila apha
nanjengoko kungekho AC ilapha phezulu bendinayo
ifeni apha izolo ngathi bendinomlandeli apha phezulu
kodwa um ibinento eninzi kakhulu nokuba liliphi
igama elifana nalo ibinalo kuphela
amandla amakhulu fan kunye nokuzigcina ndipholile apha
izolo ndiye ndayibuyisela
egumbini lam lokulala akushushu njengakwigumbi lam lokulala
ngesiqhelo ndiye ndacinga ukuba ndingalala
iintsuku ezimbalwa ngaphandle kwe fan kwigumbi lam
kuba akukho msebenzi / c Kwigumbi lam
kakuhle izolo ndicinge ukuba
yindlela eshushu kakhulu ndaye ndathatha ifeni endinayo
apha phezulu apho ishushu ngendlela eqhelekileyo
kuthathelwa ingqalelo ukuba yindawo ephezulu kunye nee-attics
zininzi phaya nangona kuncinci
ukuba leliphi igama eliqhelekileyo xa lithetha
abaphantsi Ndicinga ukuba
ligama elililo ewe ndicinga ukuba kuncinci
ukwambathisa akukho ukufakelwa ngaphandle
kokungahoyi i-maligne kusenokubakho ezinye apha
oh oh kwaye zininzi izinto zefashoni
apha phezulu ke ndizama ukuba
le vidiyo igqitywe kunye nam andiyenzi ' Ndifuna
ukuthanda ukwenza oku malunga
nefashoni yam ndizama nje ukwenza
le nto iqhubekayo ekhayeni
lam ndizama ukuphuma apha
kwaye kusepanini ewe ngokunyaniseka ukuba ndiyathembeka
kunzima umntakwethu
omdala unobundlobongela kwaye akayekanga
ukuba Ubundlobongela ke ndihlala kude
naye akazinzanga nangaliphi na ixesha xa endijikelezile
kangangokuba ndihlala egumbini lam okanye
ndiyeza apha apho izinto zishushu
kakhulu ehlotyeni ngokucacileyo
ukuba kusehlotyeni ngoku kufana
nemozulu yehlobo Kube
njalo inyanga okanye inyanga enesiqingatha
okanye kuyabanda kakhulu
apha ebusika ukuba ndihlala ndilapha phezulu
okanye kwigumbi lam lokulala ekuphela kwamaxesha
endishiya kuwo naliphi na igumbi kukusebenzela
abazali bam abangazukundibhatala
umvuzo omncinci ke ndiyarhabaxa okwangoku
ndisoyika ukufumana ividiyo
apha inde kakhulu ngoba andifuni
kufumana imifanekiso emininzi
yam ndihlekisayo Eyona nto ndiyenzileyo kukuba ndityiwe nje
ngokungabinazo neeyure ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo
mhlawumbi kunye nogxa iiyure ezigqithileyo okanye ngathi ndiye
ndaphamba kwaye ngaphambi kokuba ndiphume ndiye
ebharini kanye kanye ngaphambi kokuba ndithande ukwehliswa
ebharini ndiye ndahlamba
ngokukhawuleza okanye ndikhawuleze nangoko xa
ndibila kule ndlu
kwaye mna kunye Ndizama ukuzama ukungabilozi
kakhulu kwilokhwe yam
endiyinxibileyo ndisiya kwiindawo zentsimbi ngenxa yoko andinakukwazi ukugcina imali
eninzi ngoku kuba
ndonzakele yiyo yonke into eyenzekayo kwindawo endihlala kuyo
ekhaya iqhelekile kwaye
usapho ukuba ukubethwa kwenzeke yinto yesiqhelo
ukuba kukodwa ngaphandle kwesizathu sokuba
benze ukubetha kulungile okanye akulunganga
kulungile kusapho lwethu kwaye
yinto engalunganga andazi ukuba
ndingayibeka njani andikuthandi ukubethwa akulunganga
Ndiyayithanda okanye ayamkelwa andiyithandi
into yokuba kwenzeke nakubani na
eyenzekayo yingxaki
kwinto yokuba bayaphazama kwaye
abantu abayikhathaleli ngqo
usapho ngokuqinisekileyo banxibe
kakhulu kusapho lwam ngokubanzi
kwaye ayisiyiyo imeko kuba ndinxibe
ilokhwe ndicinga njalo esona sizathu sokuba
ndibethwe
ngamalungu osapho ukuba nobundlobongela kum kwaye
ndizama ukuphuma kule meko
andinakukwazi ukufikelela izinto endithetha ukuba
ndiza kuguqula ikhamera yam ukuba
ibesezinye zezinto Ukundijikeleza
egumbini yile ndlela iAttic yindlu yam ngayo
kuba ndinemigca eyahlukeneyo
endizenzele yona kwiipillowases
kwaye ndathatha i-styrofoam okanye nantoni na
endinokukwazi ukuyifumana iintloko ze-mannequin endizifumene
kwisaphulelo ndiye ndazicofa zonke ukuze
ndizisebenzise njengee-mannequins Kuyabiza
kakhulu ukuyisebenzisa njenge-resin oyaziyo
ikhadi leplastikhi ndicinga ukuba
ndiyakwazi kwaye ndibeka iilokhwe kubo kwaye
ndicinga ukuba ndiza kujika ikhamera amaxesha ambalwa
ukubonisa ukuba yintoni
encinci. kumoshakele apha kodwa okuninzi
kuyindlela ephezulu ndithetha ukuba kuninzi kwayo
nantoni na endinokuyifumana
endicinga ukuba yifashoni entle
endiyityalileyo kule minyaka imbalwa idlulileyo
ekuphela kwendlela endiye ndakwazi ukwenza ngayo
indlala kumvuzo wam ophantsi
ayisiyo iminimal um wage yiminyaka yokuphila
ngesidlo esinye ngemini bendihlala kuloo nto
ixesha elide kunaleyo
bendiqala ukuyityala bekukwinqanaba lokuba ndibone
ukuba kufuneka ndenze imali kwinto
endikholelwa kuyo andikwazi '' Yiya nje kumvuzo
omncinci kwaye ndiphume kule meko
xa kufikwa kwezemali kufikwa
kwimeko apho andinayo imoto kunye
neemeko zam zokuqhuba ngokungathi ziyothusa kodwa
azothusi kakhulu yile meko
ilula into yokuba
andinakuphuma nje kwimeko ngakumbi nge-
psoriasis yingxaki enjalo
ekufuneka ndiyichaze
yonke into ngokuqinisekileyo kwaye indlela ethile
ndicinga ukuba andazi ukuba kuninzi kakhulu
ukungcungcutheka kosapho lwam endizama ngalo
Ukuzazi kancinci andifuni
ukuthetha kakhulu kuba kunokwenzeka
ukuba usapho lwam lundivile andazi ukuba mandithini
kwimeko enjalo izolo
kufike umntu endlini
kufike ipolisa endlini lithe
apho Kwakukho abantu ababini abathi
ngokusisiseko ndivakalise inkxalabo ngempilo yam
kwaye andikaqiniseki ukuba ngawaphi la
magqabantshintshi angawacacisanga abanye ukuba
ababhidekile ukuba ngoobani abo bantu
kwaye ngoku ndicinga ngakumbi ngayo
andazi abantu abaninzi abayaziyo
idilesi yam kwaye Izinto kakhulu okanye kuthiwani
ukuba ikule meko umbono
kuphela oza engqondweni xa ndicinga
ngabantu abachaphazelekayo
ngam kuphela kwabantu endinokucinga ngabo
ngokuqinisekileyo ngabo kanye abantu
endibathumela Uninzi lweevidiyo zamva
nje zokubukela nguSina Rishi kuphela endadibana naye ngo-Matshi
ndadibana naye ngo-Matshi ndamnika lonke
ulwazi lwam uninzi lwethu malunga neminqweno yam yeshishini
kodwa ndamnika iinkcukacha malunga
nemeko yam yonke yobomi endizama
ukuyifumana. ngaphandle andinazinkcukacha kakhulu kodwa
kubonakala kum ukuba uyayibona
kumajelo eendaba ezentlalo ke ndizama ukutyala imali
ngayo kodwa bathi
kwiNtsika yandisa kum bathi abantu
babini bayajonga kwaye bayazama ukunceda
kwaye khange bachaze ukuba ngubani eyona nto
ndiyicingayo ingaba ngumKristu okanye
waseAsia unokuba ngumncedisi kunye no-dr.
UPhil bobabini bafikelele
kwinyanga ephelileyo ke ndizama konke okusemandleni am kwaye
andazi ukuba ndenzeni ukuze ndifane nokufumana
ividiyo yale ntetho ngayo