Ndikutenga kanema pompano ndikukwera m'chipinda changa
chapamwamba pompano mu Attic nyumba yomwe
ndikumenyedwa pafupipafupi ndimakhala kutali
ndi banja langa nthawi zambiri ndipo
sindimalumikizana ndi anthu amenewo
nditadutsa zaka
zingapo akumenyedwa kuchokera kwa anthu okulirapo
makamaka mchimwene wanga wamkulu
ndimatanthauza kuti ndiwamunthu wamkulu kwambiri poyerekeza ndi
ine amandimenya ndipo posachedwapa
linali tsiku langa lobadwa chaka chino kotero ndimangokhala
gehena kutali naye kuli
kotentha kuno chifukwa tsopano ndi Julayi ndipo
mulibe mpweya m'nyumba momwe
mungayambirepo kotero anthuwa
sakhulupirira kuti adzagulitsa mpweya wapakatikati kapena
zowongolera mpweya ali ndi
chipinda chokhala ndi chipinda pabalaza
panga ndili ndi chipinda choziziritsira m'chipinda changa chogona zaka zapitazo
tsopano pakadali pano sadzalowanso m'malo
mwake ndiyenera kugwira ntchito ndi kuti ndili ndi chothandizira chomwe
chimandigwetsera kapena ndimagona mchipinda chimenecho
amayi anga amalowa mchipindacho
nthawi iliyonse akakwiya chinthu m'moyo wake chomwe
ndichoseketsa chifukwa
alibe chokwiya chifukwa
ndiwowerengera ndalama yemwe ali ndiubwino wapamwamba
monga ndikufunira ndikunena kuti ndinali ku bar
koyambirira ndikumwa mowa wamadola awiri
pang'ono ndimasangalala ndimowa pang'ono
usikuuno Ndikutulutsa pakadali pano zonse zomwe
ndabwerera kunyumba
ndichifukwa chake ndidafika kumabala ndikuti abambo anga adandiyendetsa pagalimoto
pomwepo adandidula
ndidamuyimbira foni ndipo adabwerera patangopita maola ochepa
ndamwa mowa awiri wotchipa kwambiri
ali ndi mipiringidzo yakomweko
ndikumavala chonchi zomwe ndimagwiritsa ntchito ndalama
zambiri kuti ndikuyesera kuti ndizingoyang'ana chabe
pankhaniyi amayi
anga ndiotsogola kwambiri ndipo alibe kalasi iliyonse
Amapanga ndalama zambiri
ndikuganiza kuti samandiuza kuti amapeza ndalama zingati
koma amakana kundilipira
ndalama zochepa nthawi iliyonse yomwe
wandilipira kudzera kwa abambo anga omwe ndikutanthauza kuti amakhala
nawo pano ndipo amandilipira zina
Zochepera zomwe mungalipire aliyense chifukwa choloza
nyumba yanga yoyeretsera zovala ndipo
padakali pano ndili mu zovala zachikazi ndipo
anthuwa andilanga chifukwa amandipusitsa chifukwa
chovala zovala zachikazi ndakhala
ndikuchita kuyambira pomwe ndakhala ndikuvala zovala za akazi
komanso zodzoladzola makamaka kuyambira
ndinali wachichepere
monga ndakhala wokonda kutchuka
kwanthawi yayitali ndakhala ndikumenyedwa
chifukwa cha izi nthawi zonse kaya
ndikumenyedwa kapena kumenyedwa mawu
ngati kuti ndazunzidwa
ndikumenyedwa kwa inu mukudziwa chilichonse chomwe chinali
zokongola mkati mwanga
zidang'ambika pakamwa kapena mwakuthupi ndi banja langa
mwanjira ina kapena mwinanso
makolo anga ndi zitsanzo zolimba anthu
omwe amawononga chikhulupiriro changa paukazi wanga
komanso momwe zilili zosakwanira komanso
momwe zilili zolakwika kapena
sizabodza ndizofunika
kwa iwo chifukwa chakuti ndakhala ndikudziwana ndi akazi
mmoyo wanga kotero amaganiza
kuti ndizowopsa pompano ndili ngati ndikumva
thukuta likukula chifukwa
ndikulankhula ndekha Sindikupereka sindikufuna
kukweza mawu kwambiri apa kuti kanemayu
akhale wamfupi koma sindikufuna
kutuluka thukuta kwambiri pano ndili ndi diresi labwino lomwe
ndikuyesera kuti
ndiyambe kutulutsa mawu pang'ono
pazomwe zikuchitika mmoyo wanga pali
malingaliro ambiri omwe ndili nawo ndikuyesera kuti
ndichepetse pang'ono pano
ndizofunika kwa ine ndi zomwe zikuchitika
sindikudziwa zomwe zikuchitika chifukwa
ndaluza dzulo wapolisi anabwera
kunyumba kuti andiyang'ane sindikudziwa
chifukwa chake kunalibe
chifukwa chobwera kudzandiyang'ana ndipo
mwina ndikuyesera kuti ndikhale
chete chifukwa sindikufuna kulira kwambiri
' m m'chipinda chapamwamba ndikutsika
masitepe apansi panga mukudziwa kuti anthu
ali mnyumba akugona komanso okondeka kunyumba ndi
komwe mchimwene wanga wamkulu
amakhala wolusa komanso wokweza komanso wonyansa
ndiye munthu amene amandimenya kwambiri
tsopano ndikuyesera Kukhala ngati ngakhale
sindikuyesera kudzitontholetsa
pang'ono kuti ndiyankhule kwenikweni
pamsanje uwu ulemu komwe ndimakhala makolo anga
amalekerera ziwawa kuti andipangitse kukhala amuna
ambiri m'malo mwawo
sindimagwirizana chilichonse m'malingaliro awo za
umuna kapena ukazi ngati
kungakhale koyambira kumene sikukanakhala
kowopsa ngati angaganizire njira imodzi kapena
ena samaganiza mwanjira ina kapena imzake zomwe
onse amaganiza ndikuti ndili ndi vuto m'malo
awo mukudziwa ngati
sindikudziwa momwe ndingayankhulire mwanjira ina ndine m'modzi
mwa anthu omwe ndi transgender koma
sindimagwirizana kwenikweni ndi mtundu uliwonse wa
zomwe transgender amatanthauza kuti
ndimangokonda mafashoni azimayi sindinabadwe
mwachilengedwe mwanjira imeneyi m'malingaliro mwanga
kunena kuti ndimasiyana ndi
malingaliro a amuna apa ndi apo
ndimakumbatira mbali zonse ziwiri
pazomwezo ndipo ndizovuta kwambiri
kufotokozera anthu monga banja langa
anthu onsewa satsimikiza za
nkhaniyi kotero sindikuyesera kupitilirabe
pafupi chifukwa ndikutuluka thukuta kumtunda momwe
kulibe pomwe pali AC kuno ndinali ndi
zimakupiza dzulo ngati kuti ndinali ndi zimakupiza kumtunda
koma um adangokhala ndi zochuluka zilizonse zomwe
mawuwo ali nazo mphamvu zambiri za mafani
komanso kuti ndiziziziritsa pano
dzulo kotero ndidazibweza kuchipinda changa
sichikutentha m'chipinda changa
nthawi zambiri kotero ndimaganiza kuti ndimatha kugona
masiku angapo wopanda wokonda m'chipinda changa
chifukwa kulibe / c mchipinda changa
bwino dzulo ndimaganiza kuti
ndi kotentha kwambiri kotero ndinatenga fani yemwe ndinali naye
kumtunda kumene nthawi zambiri kumakhala kotentha
poganizira kuti ndi chipinda chapamwamba ndipo
zipinda zam'mwamba ndizochulukirapo ngakhale zili zochepa
zomwe mawuwo amangonena
kuti ndi ochepa Ndikuganiza kuti ndi
mawu oyenera eya ndikuganiza kuti
kutchinjiriza kocheperako kulibe kutchinjiriza
osanyalanyaza maligne mwina pangakhale ena pamwamba pano
oh gosh ndipo pali zinthu zambiri
zamafashoni pano ndiye ndikuyesera
kuti vidiyoyi ithe ndi ine '
Sindikufuna kupanga izi za mafashoni anga konse
ndili kwenikweni ndikungoyesa kupanga izi
pazomwe zikuchitika mnyumba
mwanga ndikuyesera kuti ndichoke pano ndipo
zili poto inde moona mtima ngati ndikunena
zowona ndizovuta mchimwene wanga wamkulu
ndiwachiwawa ndipo
sanasiye chiwawa kotero ndimakhala kutali ndi
iye amakhala wosakhazikika nthawi iliyonse akakhala pafupi nane
kotero kuti ndimangokhala mchipinda changa kapena
ndimabwera kuno komwe zinthu zili
zotentha
kwambiri nthawi yachilimwe mwachiwonekere
kwakhala kuli chilimwe tsopano monga
nyengo yachilimwe Zakhala choncho
kwa mwezi umodzi kapena mwezi ndi theka
kapena kukuzizira kwambiri kuno
nthawi yachisanu kuti ine nthawi zonse ndimakhala pamwamba
pano kapena kuchipinda changa nthawi zokha zomwe
ndimachoka mchipinda chilichonse ndikumagwira
makolo anga omwe sangandilipire malipiro ochepera
kotero ndikungocheza pakadali pano
ndimaopa kuti nditenga kanema
pano ndi yayitali kwambiri chifukwa sindikufuna
kujambula zambiri zongonena
kuti kwenikweni ndikungotsukidwa ngati
ngakhale maora angapo apitawo mwina
mwina ndi co Maola angapo apitawo kapena ngati
ndidasamba ndipo ndisanapite ku
bala nthawi yomweyo ndisanafike poti ndikufuna kuti
nditsikidwe pa bar ndinayamba
kusamba mwachangu kapena mwachangu kwinaku
ndikutuluka thukuta mnyumba muno
ndipo ine ndi ine Ndimayesetsa kuti
ndisatope thukuta kwambiri lomwe
ndidavala ndikumapita kumabala chifukwa sindingathe kupititsa
patsogolo pakadali pano chifukwa ndakhumudwa
kwambiri ndi zonse zomwe zikuchitika
mnyumba mwanga sizachilendo ndipo
banja kuti kumenyedwa kuchitika ndichizolowezi
kuti pakokha mosaganizira
kuti akumenya bwino kapena ayi
zili bwino m'banja lathu
ndipo ndizolakwika sindikudziwa momwe
ndingachitire sindimakonda kuti kumenyedwa kulakwika
monga kapena kuvomerezedwa sindimakonda
kuti zinthuzi zimachitika kwa aliyense
zomwe zikuchitika ndizovuta
poti alakwitsa komanso kuti
anthu akuwanyalanyaza banja lolunjika limawavalira
ambiri am'banja mwanga
kapenanso sizomwe zikuchitika chifukwa ine
ndavala ndikuganiza kuti ndizo chifukwa chachikulu chomwe
ndikumenyedwera ndi
achibale omwe amandichitira zankhanza ndipo
ndikuyesera kuti ndichoke pamtunduwu
sindingakwanitse kugula zinthu zomwe ndikutanthauza
ndikupititsa kamera yanga
kuzinthu zina mozungulira ine
mchipinda umu ndi momwe Attic ilili
nyumba yanga chifukwa ndili ndi mannequins osiyanasiyana
omwe II ndidadzipangira kuchokera ku ma pillowases
ndipo ndidatenga styrofoam kapena chilichonse chomwe
ndingakwanitse kugula mitu ya mannequin yomwe ndidapeza pamtengo
wotsika ndidaziphatikiza zonse kuti
ndizigwiritse ntchito ngati mannequins ndizo
ndizokwera mtengo kwambiri kugwiritsa ntchito ngati utomoni womwe mumadziwa
khadi ya pulasitiki ndikuganiza kuti nditha kuwona kuti
nditha kuvala madiresi ndipo
ndikuganiza kuti nditembenuza kamera
kangapo kuti ndisonyeze chomwe chiri pang'ono
pang'ono chisokonezo pano koma zambiri
mwanjira zapamwamba ndimatanthauza zambiri
ndichakuti chilichonse chomwe ndingapeze chomwe
ndimaganiza kuti chinali fashoni yabwino kwambiri yomwe
ndidayikapo zaka zingapo zapitazi njira
yokhayo yomwe ndidakwanitsira kutero inali
Kusowa njala ndi ndalama zanga zochepa si
minim um wage ndi zaka zokhala ndi
chakudya chimodzi patsiku ndakhala ndikukhalapo kwa
nthawi yayitali kuposa
zomwe ndidayamba kuyika ndalama pomwe ndidazindikira kuti ndiyenera kuyikapo
kanthu kena kamene ndimakhulupirira kuti
sindingakwanitse 'Ingopita kuntchito yolandira malipiro ochepa
ndikudzichotsera
pankhani zachuma
zikafika poti ndilibe galimoto ndipo
zoyendetsa zanga ngati zachilendo koma osati
zachilendo kwambiri ndizovuta
izi Zomwe sindingathe
kungochoka makamaka ndi
psoriasis ndizovuta kotero
kuti ndiyenera kufotokoza
zonse motsimikizika komanso mwanjira inayake
ndikuganiza kuti sindikudziwa kuti
banja langa silikuyesa vuto
kudzidalira pang'ono
sindikufuna kuyankhula mokweza kwambiri chifukwa ndizotheka
kuti abale anga andimva sindikudziwa
choti nditani pamenepa
munthu wina anabwera kunyumba
wapolisi anabwera kunyumba komwe amati
kumeneko panali anthu awiri omwe
kwenikweni adawonetsa nkhawa
zaumoyo wanga ndipo sindikutsimikiza kuti
ndindani omwe sanatchulepo omwe
sanasangalale ndi omwe angakhale anthuwa
ndipo tsopano ndikuganiza za izo
sindikudziwa anthu ambiri omwe amadziwa
adilesi yanga ndipo zinthu zochulukirapo kapena bwanji ngati
zitakhala choncho malingaliro okhawo omwe
amabwera m'maganizo mwanga ndikaganiza za
anthu omwe akundidera nkhawa za
anthu okhawo omwe ndingaganizire
motsimikiza mwina ndi anthu omwe
ndikulemba Mavidiyo ambiri aposachedwa oti ndiwonere
ndi a Sina Rishi omwe ndidakumana nawo mu Marichi
ndidakumana nawo mu Marichi ndidampatsa
zidziwitso zanga ambiri aife pazakufunafuna bizinesi
koma ndidamuwuza tsatanetsatane wa moyo
wanga wonse ndikuyesera kuti
ndipeze mwa ine sindinatchule mwatsatanetsatane koma
zikuwoneka kwa ine kuti amawawona
pama media anga kotero ndikuyesera kuti ndigwiritse ntchito
ndalama koma adati kwa Lawi
afikire ine adati anthu
awiriwa akuyang'anira ndikuyesera kuti athandizire
ndipo sanatchule kuti
lingaliro langa lalikulu ndi ndani atha kukhala wachikhristu kapena
waku Asia atha kukhala wothandizira ndi dr.
Phil onsewa adakwanitsa
mwezi watha kotero ndikuyesetsa momwe ndingathere ndipo
sindikudziwa choti ndichite kotero ndikungokhala ngati ndikutenga
kanema wazokambirana izi