I wanted to post another video about
yeah the reason why I post these video
diaries about my home life um that's a
little bit more positive and another one
that I heard I think I've heard a couple
of them today is talking about how I'm
not posting the videos for anyone's
comments or anything I not reading
comments almost none of them I've
actually read I noticed there's a lot I
don't read them because I have excessive
anxiety from my psoriasis which causes
such tension for me and my skin feels
like fire and scrolling all over my body
biting me from the psoriasis because the
stress is so high that I don't read
comments usually because more often than
not the comment is made from the
ontology of bigotry on some level or
just absent-mindedness as my guess about
the subject and something arrogant it's
not that unusual and my life to
experience that kind of attitude from
the average person anywhere in society I
mean especially in my household where I
live but it doesn't surprise me that's
on YouTube or many people are having
those kind of comments to total
strangers on YouTube channels that you
know I don't know why but anyway I don't
know why people would do it to begin
with but it's so common in everyday
society for me to be harassed like that
doesn't it doesn't surprise me then it
happens on the internet it just saddens
me more than anything more than anything
it's just sad so anyway I'm just posting
another one with a little bit more
positive statement I guess in my mind I
don't like I don't want to sound too
bitter about everything some people seem
like they're encouraging to my videos
and that's really cool it's nice it's
nice that there are encouraging people
out there they're not necessarily as
common in my mind as the people that had
some things I did
something arrogant or rude to say
because of what they're not used to in
society like a person that appears with
facial hair or a slight a bit of the
chest hair sorry I'm removing a camera
around there
I think the slight bit of chest hair or
arm hair or you know it's discussing two
people it's like God how tell him that
he'll have something that's simple
disgusting cisgender woman has I'm not a
facial hair of all the time I'm free -
hello I mean the painter and I think the
the artist but she had facial hair and
like it's not abnormal in society so it
really doesn't determine your genitals
it doesn't determine your gender or
anything doesn't deserve and factors at
all they are just amounts of
testosterone usually and that has
nothing to do with what her Anatomy has
a whole science knows that well enough -
anyway I'm just posting this to say that
I also appreciate people who care even
if they're total strangers on the
internet that is nicer there are people
out there I care and do have positive
things to say I usually don't in fact I
never respond to any comments basically
just because I told me hello like my
life right now in my house my my
attention span is not on what's being
commented on a video on YouTube I'm
generally focusing more on surviving
inside my house until I move out and so
I'm not trying to be too like offish or
whatever about anyone's support like
verbal or emotional support or any IFAD
from comments if you are being
supportive it's nice and I just want to
make sure I had a post like her video
posted that acknowledge that or I know
so there are people who care and that's
playing nice and I'm still living at
this house until I can afford to move
out and I take I don't know
a matter of weeks maybe if I'm lucky I'm
saving most of what I'm making I'm
starving which is not unusual at all at
this point spin years of starving in
those house they were fused to pay me
enough for me to feed myself it's really
pretty awful they also have no AC in
this house which they had at some point
but my my rooms AC unit um
stopped working a couple of years ago
and probably sometime in the past a year
and for something at some point I don't
know it stopped working so I rely on a
fan to keep myself cool in this house
there's no AC or central air in this
house and it's burning up right now I
was wearing a pair of jeans inside the
house earlier and I was sweating
profusely and I was feeling dizzy ever
just lightheaded from the lack of
circulation in the house of Hera
hysterical living here they refused to I
mean they're protected essentially penny
pitchers really when it comes to certain
aspects when it comes to me they won't
pay me adequate minimum wage don't pay
me close to minimum wage for keeping
their house clean in their clothes
laundered Joe's laundry so it's like
it's that type of respect the life in
this house is terrible in general
especially how disrespectful my brother
is who beats me it's terrible so I just
you know I'm ranting at this point is
going on about everything going on
that's like you know it's about to be
midsummer and it's burning
in this house right now and I'm looking
I have a sand in my room I got that you
know keeps me a little bit cool right my
barbecue is right now so I'm trying to
move out
and anyway I just basically I was
posting this just to say I do appreciate
the people who do care about me out
there even if you're a total stranger on
the internet that's really awesome of
you you care about me right now I'm not
really reading a lot of comments because
I'm trying to stay away from any of the
negativity it's all over the comments
are enough stuff I chose which is of
normal to me none of that was like that
until I be fed and I Christina Rishi a
there were no comments or views on my
videos since I think I started posting
years ago anyway the whole point is
amazed that the sudden change ever since
I'm a Christina Ricci I don't know what
am I think exactly was the factor in
that but something changed at some point
so it's good on some level I just don't
worry comments because I don't have a
panic attack right I went from the
psoriasis and bleeds all over my body
and feels like fire ants biting me all
over from stress stress factors so any
kind of rating comments that are really
really degrading towards me my body
starts just more or less just start
shutting down and like and I can't like
operate when I'm that stressed out or my
body's bleeding or anything like that
it's crazy so I mean my surprises right
now is starting to spread pretty bad
because I'm not on treatment at the
moment I don't know what's going on with
treatment I'm just doing my best side
situation it's really dark in here so
I'm trying to show that it's starting to
spread pretty bad just my arms here and
other areas of my body I think they
basically spread its head to toe a
matter of weeks still might died since I
was a kid
so it's terrible
anyway so this was just tell us about
all that stuff