Ask a real vampire anything
How can I save more money on my car insurance?
Well the simple answer is to sell your car and buy a bike, or you could compare companies
How can I prove the existance of the higgs boson?
Is it better to buy in bulk even if I'm not sure I'm going to use all of what I purchase?
interview god
What do you think of moths? Are they kinda like flies but not really?
>>3768213of course
>>3768220i think they are more like butterflys
What's the ideal time of day to mow the lawn, for both summer and winter?
How many times a day do you bath and/or shower?Do you feel you are using water efficiently?
I'M SPESHUL GUISE, I CAN HAS ATTENSHUN?
>>3768226>>3768226during summer i would say early afternoon, and for the winter its obviously the dead of night
You call yourself a vampire. You digust me you foolish shit. You are not suppose to speak of us, You will be punish
>>3768235Sure, that's the deal here.
hree identical balls are thrown or projected from a cliff at a particular height (h) above a horizontal plain. One ball is projected at an angle 45 degrees above horizontal, the second is thrown horizontally, and the third is thrown at an angle 30 degrees below the horizontal (downward). If all of the balls have the same initial speed v, which one will have the greatest speed when it hits the ground? Justify your answer mathematically.
What do you think of grass? Is it too green, or just green enough?
Ho guise I'm a vampire too, I like to buttfuckorangemonkeys and I have 3assholes for masturbation because I am so cool. I love to suck blood from my orangemonkey named sofakingawsomemonkeyfaggotry
Honest opinion, margarine or butter?
>>3768242I will be punish? Please, if you are to threaten one of my kind, at least do it properly you imbicile
>>3768246the one at 45 deg, it has the largest h to fall thus more time falling and TA = speed>>3768247I like blue grass>>3768255butter
Oh shit fucking vamp thinks he is so cool. Well let me tell you something, if you are a so called vampire then I am Belial.
>>3768262A prince of hell? I would like to meet you.
>>3768262Belial?MORE LIKE SUNDIAL HAHAHAHAHAHA LOL
>>3768268google: a newfag's friend
>>3768262Which would be fun, what with Belial being the god of lies in judaeo-christian tradition.
Omg a-fucking-nother one!This one is just as fake and guy as the others too!
>>3768262Belial is that really you? Oh my vampirenuts whatsup how's the fucking of the orangemonkeys going? Have you ducked the sacred raindowshitmonkey of Netherland?
>>3768272Wrong, I study theology>>3768275Try me
What's your favorite blood type? Which vampire group, in literature or movies I guess, do you most identify yourself with? How would you describe yourself? What myths are real and which are false?
I'll bite. How old are you? Will you turn me? Do you know that vampire from an earlier thread?
>>3768269EPIC WIN!
>>3768279Foolish mortal trying to be funny, but what he doesn't know is that I am right behind him.
>>3768285Blood type really doesnt matter, after all blood type is based of of antigens on the surface of the cell. That is not something we can distinguish.The blood of the young, and those who take care of their bodies is always the sweetest, and most satisfying. Similar to a fine wine.We are just beings trying to get by like every other creature on the planet. Similar to humans there exists a caste system of social classes. We have a rich aristocracy and a group of "untouchables". Similar to criminals or lepers.A majority of the myths are false, ask about specifics and I will answer you better.What would you like to know about me specifically?
So I see you are going on the "new" idea a vampires and not the original. Of course who'd want the original any ways? I am going to go ahead and guess you know nothing about vampires other than the whole romanticized idea Bram Stoker gave us. I have to laugh at any one who says they are a vampire. Please continue to entertain me with your misunderstandings and lies!
Ask Jesus anything.
>>3768287I was born in Iowa City, Iowa in 1840I will not turn without reasonI may or may not know him, i cannot say for sure
I guess Specifically, age, does your kind have the ability to turn people, or are you just born that way? I don't know what myths to ask, uhh garlic? Strength? Speed? How much blood do you need a day?
>>3768306How do you procreate?How do you feel about transmittable diseases?How hard is it for an old vampire to move his limbs, what with atrophy and general body-wide rot setting in after a while?How do you deal with putrefaction?
>>3768315What kind of reason?
Fellow member of darkness why are you expressing yourself out to public, don't you think the master will find out and punish you?
>>3768316All that is needed to turn a person is a transfer of Vampiric blood to a human host.Garlic is a joke, it has no effect.I am faster and stronger than a normal human by a significant amount, but nothing ridiculous. I cant pick up a car, although it is rumored that some of the Ancients posses unbelievable power and speed.Just like your caloric intake, the amount of blood I need to survive depends on what i have been doing. On average about a quart a week is enough to survive. 2 to 3 quarts is my usual
What exactly would it take you to turn someone? How many people have you turned? Vampire babies? Did you fight in the Civil War? Whos side were you on if so? Meet anyone famous?
>>3768339Please say no more, you are revealing way to much, Master will get furious if he finds out what you're doing.
>>3768321The right one, it depends on the situation and our relationship, it is not a joy to be one of us>>3768331I am my own master, i live and do as i will
>>3768315are you still in/around iowa? have you at any period of time resided in or near ottumwa
>>3768352Are you not afraid of Master Lucifer?
>>3768354I have associates in Fairfield, i have been to ottumwa several times>>3768348you doubt me?who do you call master?>>3768309
>>3768356shut up fag
>>3768309You question my authenticity?
>>3768359hm, it would be interesting to see if we have any commonality of acquaintance, the chances are slim i would think
>>3768365Have you met Lucifer? For I believe he would Like to meet you.
seriously how much does twilight piss you off
>>3768345I have turned 1 person.For me to do that, I needed her complete trust, and i needed to be able to trust her completely. I also must know she can adjust to her new life, and deal with the burden.Yes, vampire babies exist. Creations of sick individuals.I spent a majority of the Civil War exploring the territories to the west.
I read Anne Rice and watched Twilight I am vampires!I have no real understanding of them vampire lore, I am so scary and awesome! LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME!
>>3768377Ha, I do not fear him
>>3768391The lore is based off of fairy tales spread by scared peasants>>3768354More than likely not
>>3768385meet any historically significant people?
>>3768392Have you vampire ever witness the power Lord Lucifer? For his power is Great.
Are you a man or a woman?
>>3768400>>3768400>>3768400none come to mind
>>3768402As is mine>>3768404I was born a male
Sick creations, how so? If you don't mind me asking. Were/are you with the person you turned? What is the burden you speak of? Do you age, ie gray hair wrinkles, like a normal human, or do you age slowly? When and how were you turned?
>>3768413There is no creature on earth that can come close to his power, you would be a fool to think that you can compare your power to the Lord
>>3768414Imagine a 2 year old little girl, who must learn to prey on other children to survive, a little girl destined to remain a child for eternity. We age, but not in the normal sense. It is much much slower than humans. Most of the Ancients resemble old menI was turned in the Summer of 1861 by a woman i loved.The burden is the fact I must feed of others to live, and that i must live in hiding
>>3768419I do not fear your lord, I am no creation of his
>>3768426>a child for eternity>We age
>>3768429Then who or what does the vampire believe created him?
Okay so make me believe you, after all that's way you posted this thread is it not? None of that I don't have to prove anything bullshit. The burden of proof in your case is heavy. You have thus far stated things in popular culture, nothing is original, not to mention your ask me anything thread is among at lest 3 others floating around /x/ at the moment. So lets have it Mr. Vampire, prove you are not some bored kid trying to act out a fantasy.
Touche good sir, touche. I didn't even think of that about the children. I'm guessing love doesn't stay long with your kind. Do you fear death? What is a life-time for you in years? If I met you on the streets confronted you about it, what would you do? (Random Stranger). How many of you are there in this world? Any in Oklahoma? O_o Just curious... Or Texas....
>>3768436splitting hairs, aging in a different sense, like how trees age. it happens but it happens SLOWLY
>>3768436>>3768436I did not mean a literal eternity, I meant a very long time, I was not very clear and I apologize
>>3768464Not inclined to accept your apology.Every single user of this board knows practically everything about the human condition, without seeing herself as being special in any way.If you are a vampire, you are quite dumb by human standards.
>>3768442I know that there is a worldwide council of my kind, that is the strongest force of government in the world. They work with national governments to guide the path of our planet
>>3768446>>3768429She created me
>>3768474And what a fine job they do, all working in unison not accomplishing anything.
>>3768446>>3768446Love, as with your kind,, comes and goes. Some last, others dont.I do not fear death, I have lived near 200 years and have seen much. my life has be extraordinary, and i would hate to see it end. But do i fear the end? No.There is no maximum natural life span that is know to me. Some of the ancients are supposedly thousands of years old
>>3768481who is this she the vampire speaks of? Also what is the vampire beliefs?
>>3768492 To you maybe, but my kind is relatively unknown to your kind. Somehow our society remains separate from yours.Most vampires are avid scholars. In a life that spans centuries, there is much to learn and see
>>3768493So your ancients are little black people with the minds of morons, easily outwitted by any average Joe of today.And you work for idiots? Poor you.
Somethings you won't answer, that's fine. What reasons would you have for turning someone? What would they have to exemplify?
>>3768446If i was confronted i would deny it, and you would look like a lunatic.There are many of us, thousands, all over the world
Is your name bill?
>>3768505How are we outwitted?
>>3768504There is no secret element to any society interacting with another society. Humans have a tendency to spy, infiltrate, observe and understand - you are giving us way too little credit here.
These threads are so stupid.
does your mom know you're not a vampire?
>>3768496Just like humanity, they vary. I suppose i still cling to shreds of my Christian past
So from what I have gathered, Vampires are nothing like what they've started off as, "walking corpses" I mean. They are very much the Bram Stoker sort, age slowly, and are Free Masons. wow
>>3768519Same way I am outwitting you. I use my mind rooted in the now, the everchanging present.A vampire is pure stagnation, a pathetic joke.Besides: I wasn't talking about your race, I was talking about your ancients.They are idiots by virtue of "age".
>>3768380
>>3768526Does the vampire know of the Illuminati organization?
>>3768523All threads are stupid topic-wise. But that is not the reason we post.
>>3768520But yet, our existence is still considered a myth even though oour kind is all over your world. We saturate your media, your world. yet we are myth.>>3768510Many reasons. Rage, love, anger, sorrow, jealousy, need for companionshipThey would need to be honest, trustworthy, intelligent, morally right, and have the right motivation for wanting to be turned
>>3768533You assume we cannot learn or adapt. That is the way of the world is it not? Adapt or perish? The ancients serve as traditional leadership, the same as a village elder might.And how can you call us a joke, when your kind is destroying our precious planet and trying their damnedest to kill each other off?
>>3768551Because we enjoy a good story. Yours.. not so much.By extrapolating your assertion, it would be just as valid to replace Vampires with Aliens or Mass Murderers.Heh, imagine that: a global conspiracy of serial killers controlling the media and every country.
DO YOU LOVE A GIRL IN A SMALL SOUTHERN LOUISIANA TOWN NAMED SOOKIEH?
>>3768538I have heard stories and tales, as have you I am sure. I have no direct contact with them, and cannot say for sure if they exist
I'm guessing selfish gain is not the right reason. So why were you turned? Love? How old was the woman that turned you, not trying to be rude by asking her age just curious.
>>3768564But have those tales been around for thousands of years? I also never said we control your media
>>3768576Curiosity is a trait most of my kind hold in high regard my friend.I do not have her exact age, but i was turned for love as you guessed. She was older now then than i am now, i know that for sure.Personal gain is never the right reason, although some will turn for money or favors, or even just as amusement. These are the monsters responsible for the children.
>>3768567You are very interesting vampire, I would like to speak with you more, but I must go and do other business. Is there another possible way of contacting you vampire?
>>3768561You know, after puberty, that mind you have beyond the age of 25, that's your problem-solving template right there; you don't get smarter after that and amassing knowledge doesn't equal intellect or 'brains'.Since you do not work in a biological sense, neither does your brain (because, to put it in terms you'd understand: were you alive, your cells would replicate and die, reaching a point of 'no more reproduction' and you would age just the same way we do; if your aging is slowed down, then so is your healing of bruises and everything linked to that).Make up your mind on whether this planet is yours and ours or ours alone.We kill each other, because we have no natural predators and we try to establish the easiest access to the resources we deem to be essential to us.I call that selection, a pretty smart thing.Something that apparently doesn't work for vampires, because vampires are made of suck and fairy dust.
If you are a real Vampire I urge you to come to me, even if it's a short conversation, I must speak with you! Please, it's of the greatest importance!
curiosity? so if one were simply curious as to what it would be like to BE one? wouldn't that be a lot of people?
>>3768592I think I am in love with you, sigh.
>>3768588vmic5210@yahoo.com
>>3768579I think that you would be more fit to answer that question, because us humans haven't a collective library of tales, myths and truths.
>>3768597What is it?>>3768601Yes, i suppose
>>3768587Well I guess Curiosity turned the cat. I've always just been interested in vampires, and being one. I wouldn't know what to do with all the time I would have. Do your teeth retract or are they there fore ever? How do you Eat, or drink I guess I should say? I defiantly wouldn't mind becoming one.
>>3768592Your logic is sound save one flaw. Who says our physiology is the same as yours?>>3768615My teeth are no more pronounced than mine, just sharper. I drink from cups, like a civilized being. I let the blood, collect it, and drink
>>3768604Yes, Agape is a cool thing.Also © Mankind
so someone could just be curious like a few of us here, and just ask a vampire to turn them? is turning into one painful?
>>3768605I am looking forward in speeking with you fellow vampire.
>>3768638Agreed, What is the logistics of turning OP? What goes down during the turning process?
>>3768638Painful is not the correct word to describe it. It is agonizing and drags on for days, but it is not altogether physically painful
>>3768614Please just find me, do you know anything of Western New York? The Buffalo and surrounding areas?
>>3768625The "becoming a vampire" does. No flaw there, at all.If you can become a vampire, you are still, by all accounts, human, including your mislabelled physiology.You know, physiology relates to your physis, like having eyes, hands, arms, legs, feet, an abdomen, guts.. you might get the picture.Walking on two legs, upright spine, a nervous system, innerved muscles (yeah, how does that work for you, being all dead?).How's entropy treating you, honey?
>>3768641>speeking
>>3768649First a transfusion must occur, the method is not important. About a pint of blood must be transferred, although a little more or less wont hurt. A vampire knows when the amount is right.After the correct amount of blood has flown, he can feel her start to make her connection. Her coming into our collective conscious.She rests, and her body slowly changes for several days. The body must purge itself, and then the connection is finalized, and one of us is she
>>3768660>>How's entropy treating you, honey?You are a female? Just wondering if you are interested in women?
A lot of the things you say sound like Anne Rice... do you read much of her stories?
>>3768677Just an old perverted guy. Old pervs call kids 'honey' regardless of said honey's gender ;)
>>3768660Physiology is the way the bodies systems function. I agree we share anatomy, and I was once human. Whereas my body used to run on calories and enzymes, it now runs on blood.A persons blood contains part of their soul. Basically, we sustain ourselves on the souls of others. As part of the turning process, out body ceases normal function, and can fuel itself on fractions of souls of others. Also, i never said i was dead, i am very alive
Purged? Could you go more into that?
>>3768672Oh, hello Necroscope lore!
how would i be able to identify one of you if there are any around?(i couldn't do any harm i assure you I'm just curious as hell)
>>3768697Do you know where the analogy between blood and soul comes from?You stop using calories to fight entropy, you are dead, without having to regard what you think of that.
>>3768693So then you are attracted to females? Your intelligent way of speaking and debunking this fool, it's sexy! Ha! I don't know why I find intellect so intriguing, but you sir have my attention! :D
>>3768698Our body must change the way it functions, see my above post.>>3768701No, you misunderstand. This is not necromancy here. We are all living beings. When we are in proximity with one another we can share thoughts, feelings, memories and emotions. But only if both parties are willing.However, some of my kind are strong enough, they can force themselves into others minds
I am a psionic type, do you guys see us as your retarded cousins?
>>3768710I am attracted to a female and that female only.You might be barking up the wrong tree.
>>3768706Perhaps we are dead in your sense, but we consider ourselves alive
>>3768717Necroscope is a series of books.. dealing with vampires differently to say the least.
>>3768704You really couldnt. We appear just like you, we blend in. We are only noticed when it benefits us and we wish to be known
>>3768732When would you wish to be known?
so it would be impossible to seek one out?
>>3768726How do you deal with Trypanosoma? Or AIDS?
>>3768721:cah one day.... I'll find the right fellow. So anyways keep making this guy look like a fool!!!!
>>3768746Not online, you won't.
>>3768736>>3768737When we seek something we need human help for, or to seek out companionship perhaps. Or to educate and inform. As i do now.You can try to seek us, many of my weaker breathern have fallen prey to vile hunters. The strong and the smart, the ones who survive, stay hidden.We watch you humans. We notice things, and make observations. We may approach you if we see fit.
>>3768753So now you seek out to educate and preform, or were you talking of companionship? And what kind of companionship? Like someone to be with, or someone just to hang out with? Do other liquids hurt your system? Like if you drank some water, or alcohol would it hurt you?
would you approach any of us who are seeking you? how would you know that we were seeking you?and would doing so or coming under observation be harmful for someone?
>>3768742As long as a vampire is properly fed, he will never fall prey to illness or parasite. The constant influx of souls allow out bodies to repair and cast out negative influences upon them.Similar to a human immune system The new souls heal and fight disease. Although much more effectively than yours i might add.
>>3768753>Or to educate and inform. As i do nowWith yourself, yes.Besides, us humans would never hunt vampires to destroy them only.Should vampires exist, they would be caught, experimented on.. if there were hunters, then there would be people interested in.. well.. let's say that humans tend to develop very exotic tastes after some time.
>>3768761I come to tell my story, share my knowledge. As well as to converse. Companionship can mean many things. Vampires are not immune to sexual desires.We can eat and drink. But just for pleasure. We do not get intoxicated, and the explosion of waste can be messy. That is why dining is considered a rare delicacy.>>3768762You wouldnt know unless we wanted you to know. i do not know any of you well enough to say whether or not you warrant observation, only your behaviors and acts can decide that.Normally observation is harmless, just watching. If you pose a threat to us however, things can get...messy
>>3768767You don't know enough about immunology to claim that to be true.Quite possibly, a vampire is not very interesting to life in general, what with being an evolutionary dead end.You know, maybe you should sort this shit out before starting a thread on /x/; first you get nourishment through blood, then the blood holds a fraction of someone's soul feeding your body, without noticing the obvious problem of us humans donating blood to each other.Following your train of logic, I'd be us who would have to share a consciousness, not vampires.
>>3768786First off, we do get nourishment in your sense from the blood and souls. Its what keeps us alive, as food does to you.Second, your body takes blood and absorbs it into your bloodstream, where as our bodies pull the soul from the blood to fuel us
fascinating, makes me want to try and get noticed :P
>>3768802How would you go about that?
So then would you travel to a place farther away from where you are to observe someone for the greater good of your kind? Or would you go to observe for your own desires? Would you go just because you had a friend? How old do you look? Reflection?
>>3768799Food doesn't keep me alive. It's more complicated than that.So a soul is quantified, you say?How much blood equals one soul, then?What if you drained a human over years, wouldn't that constitute to creating 'excess soul' as compared to draining her completely at once, what with us regenerating blood cells hourly?If its souls feeding you, then blood is the wrong vector for it.Ever tried brains? Hearts, yeah, or hearts?
>>3768808Of course. I have traveled for many reasons. Both my own and for my clan.I look to be in my early 20s.Of course i have a reflection. Light bounces off of me does it not?
not sure, i don't mean in a harmful way if that was the implication.. I don't want any trouble I'm just one of those people who are too curious for their own good.
>>3768827i took no offense, I merely found your inquiry humorous. I encourage your questions and will do my best to answer them all
Get to Orchard Park NY as soon as you can
Sorry, another myth was curious about. :D Where have you gone? What have you done that would be in the history books?
>>3768812Im aware it is more complicated than that. So is the way blood fuels us. A person can regrow lost soul by their actions. Good, virtuous people have a large, more fulfilling soul. One can never have excess soul, it merely grows. Evil people provide little nourishment.Blood and souls are not quantified the way you are thinking of them as.
how do you get your blood? does anyone die in the process?
>>3768848So, you are a karmic vampire now?Cute.
Do you live out in the open or do you confine yourself to solitude?
>>3768836How can I contact you when i arrive?>>3768844I have been all over the world. 6 continents. I have seen just about everything. I have done a tour in WWII, i was at the 2nd olympics in at the paris world exhibition in 1900
>>3768874I live in the open. The world knows me as a 21 year old college student
>>3768879>6Hah. Sure you went to Antarctica.
a tour in WW2? ever meet anyone with the last name Galbraith?
Olympics, do tell. Know any other languages? What education have you had? Highest level? Where do you get your income? If you go all the way to New York, would a stop in Oklahoma be possible? I would very much like to meet you.
>>3768768What my good Dunkellied is attempting to elucidate here is that if you could kindly stop dressing up in a costume supply store cloak while you add your ludicrous non-knowledge on the subject of what it means to be a "vampire", (i.e. walking dead, bloated from eating flesh), perhaps you would find yourself better situated to add something of even infinitesimal value to the board. Especially since, (I'm making a wide assumption here), this is a board that has a considerable deal of pride for it's originality. Do more research on playing a character than picking up the latest half-assed romance novel and reading some fan-fics.
>>3768879Remember Mentholatum Orchard Park NYFriday-Sunday
Is it strange that I feel connected to you somehow? I cant explain it I just have this feeling.
theology huh? i'll bet i could prove that you are full of shit. also this thread is as bad as that werewolf thread i've been saging
what would gain me negative attention if i were to try and seek your kind out.. No attention in this case would be better then negative, and i don't wanna piss anyone off if i do attempt.
did you fucked yourself?
>>3768889The 6 besides that fool.>>3768893It was spelled Gallbreth>>3768894I speak spanish fairly well. I have spent my whole life living in America, i have chosen not ot study languages. I am currently working on my first college degree believe it or not. The fact i wont age visibly or change at all in 4 years makes standard education difficult.Perhaps, i cannot make promises. If you stay in contact, the chances will increase
Do spiders live alone?
vm !!RQacfQoudffYOU DIDN`T ANSWERED ON MY QUESTION!!!
>>3768908Not all all. I encourage you to contact me off of this board.>>3768918bad people get bad attention. Make it clear your intentions are benign. We are a very protective group. We will do anything to protect ourselves.
>>3768922Well I have added you on yahoo. Not sure if you have a yahoo messenger or not, but you're in my email. What degree are you going for?
>>3768922http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continents#Number_of_continentsWhich?
gallbreth do you remember if he was wounded or not?
>>3768672tell me more about this collective consciousness.
I assure you again i mean no harm, just far too curious for my own good, I'm not a threat in any way shape or form.
>>37689351 North America2 South America3 Africa4 Asia5 Europe6 Australia>>3768937Shot in the shoulder if i remember right>>3768934engineering
ITT:ask a clinically depressed neckbeard anything
Engineering, what kind? Like Mechanical...
holy shit you knew my great grandfather O.o
How can I contact you? This is >>3768908
>>3768947The geographic community laughs at your worldview.Oh well. I have been entertained by OP's limited imagination.
>>3768946>>3768946I do not doubt that you mean us no ill will, and i encourage curiosity.>>3768938We can share thoughts, memories, emotions and the such when we are in proximity, but only if willing. A great amount of strength must be had to force out ones memories or thoughts.We can sense each other when we are close, so we can identify and communicate without disclosing our nature
at least OP didnt affect a shitty vampire voice when posting, ie. ' I assure you sir, this is merely curiosity, i mean you no harm' That shit is so teenage and embarressing
>>3768963have you ever mind 'raped' and forced yourself on someone else, or been the victim?also, how often do you meet a new vampire?
>>3768957contact me here vmic5210@yahoo.com
would you mind at all if i kept in contact with you as well?me and my curiosity that is?
>>3768969i would never do such a thing, and some have attempted and failed>>3768971not at all
also, how often do you meet a new vampire?
Do you by chance have a name? So i know what to call you when i email you?
>>3768989more often than you think. we are all around you>>3768993call me V
>>ask a gigantic faggot anything.
>>3768968see: the post above youi cant believe these vampire threads are given any kind of creadance, they stink. The writing in this one is particually inconsequential and stunted
take a picture... oh wait.you guys never do.
lol
after asking some questions, i am disappointed with you. I believe that the many years alive have caused your brain to be over loaded and has begun to degenerate.but thats just me.
alright VI (the too curious for his own good) anon will e-mail you soon, heading off cuz its almost 5 am here.
is it true that vampires caused AIDS
I emailed you I would greatly appreciate it if you could reply with your thoughts.
>>3768701watch out for Harry Keogh>>3768192Fiodor Firenczy get your ass back in that tree
Now OP is talking about souls....GTFO RAZIEL