in b4 fake shitstorm

zero punctuation sucks hard

GRABELHARBELWOBBLEBOBLE

Ooooh man, he ripped that one a new asshole.

Isn't he British or some shit?

If so, who gives a fuck about his opinion then?

and if he's not, who gives a fuck about his opinion then?

Yatzhee has never steered me wrong

>>54339678
British raised, and he resides in Australia.

Yeah because the first 5 hours of a game are indicative of the entire game. Go Yahtzee for not even bothering to review the entire game anymore

inb4 huttburt, etc.

>>54339774

Thanks for the clear up

>>54339832

Well, it's not like he's ever seriously reviewed a game anyway. He always grabs a handful of the bad, and never comments on the good. Unless, UNLESS it's part of a genre he enjoys.

Wow. I mean I liked the game, but Yahtzee hated it so I guess its time to burn my copy.

>>54339832
more like 4 hrs 45 minutes movie, 15 minutes game.

>>54340008

Agree'd

in b4 103 omitted posts of hurt weeaboofags.

>>54339832

In terms of gameplay, yeah, actually, that's often the case, or at least it should be. If a game can't sell itself within the first couple of hours of gameplay, there's not much point in going on further.

people still watch this shit?

>>54339988
He used to actually try.

How predictable, I could have just put on a silly hat and made my cat play with some paper people and made the same video.
The problem isn't the amount of hours he plays for, it is the percentage of the game. Playing x amount of time of Wii Sports is not the same as playing the same amount of Final Fantasy. I don't even like FF he's just being retarded.
Also he could bitch and moan about how he has a bar now but fuck you Yahtzee, it is is your fucking job to review games. If I put in 5 hours of work a week and told my boss nothing got done because I was getting napkins or whatever I would get fired.

>>54340159

Well, then FF13 should do just fine. Even in the first few hours you get a complete idea of how the battle system works, and that was enough to keep me going.

The battle system is great.

>>54339832
Wow. SERIOUSLY?

You're willing to play a game for 5 fucking hours before you judge it. Jesus christ.

>>54340351
>ff13 battle system great

>He still relies on other people to pick what games he will like.

and

>People hating on Final Fantasy because it's Final Fantasy

SUDDENLY! FAGS! THOUSANDS OF THEM!

He loves FFVI. Yahtzee rules.

god why do people keep making new threads about this?

i have three open now

>>54340351
The first few hours all fights can be beat by choosing auto attack and using your summons when necessary. It's so easy a chimp could do it.

lol u faggots need to make up your mind. 1 week u hate him cuz he talks down on your beloved game. Next week you love him cuz he talks down on another game u happen to hate. lol you guys never cease to amaze me.

dunno if any of u guys notice. He rarely says anything good about any game. EVER

>>54339678
lol racism

>>54339832
A game really should not take fucking 20 hours to get started properly, you know.
I played XIII but I agree with everything he said.

Probably the best and most truthful review of FFXIII on the internet.

Final Fantasy eks eye eye eye sucks. Get over it.

seems like what i would think of ff13

If a movie sucks ass 30 minutes in I will flip the channel to something better, especially if I didn't previously read how good it gets later on.

You guys are kinda retarded.
His reviews are entertaining, but you shouldn't base your buys on them.

>>54340489same here, I got to about the 20 hour mark then stopped playing for Resonance of Fate. Everything he said was true

>>54340482
>u
>cuz
How about you delete that silly post and try that again with actual words?

>ant pushing a brick across a desert

FUND IT

>>54340482
Modern Warfare, Prince of Persia, Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Portal, Bioshock, and TF2 were praised.

And that's just off the top of my head.

>Bashes FFXIII

lol only true review of that shit game ever

>Bashes Brawl

FFFFFFFF THIS GUY IS A FAGGOT Y DOES HE HATE NINTENDO?

>>54340551
the only people who do are the people leaving retarded comments on the escapist
"XD thnxs for helping me save monye another week yatzee u so funny!!!"

>>54340159
>>54340489

A game reviewer is supposed to play the entire game to make a valid review.

I mean, would you trust someone who reviewed the first 20 minutes of a movie, or the first 50 pages of a book?

>>54340612
Saints Row 2 and Batman got praised as well.

>>54340612
all I remember from the dragon age one was LIKE EVERY RPG EVER
and all I remember from bioshock was ITS SYSTEM SHOCK 2
is that your idea of praise?

What's the music at the start and end of the reviews?

>>54340794

yeah. when he likes a game, he LOVES a game.

>>54340670
both games are garbage

>>54340760
I know.
It doesn't change the fucking fact that all the problems he talked about annoyed the shit out of me.

/v/ used to like Yahtzee. Now everyone dislikes him because A. He got Popular, B. He talked shit about a game they like or C. Both.

tl;dr - Yahtzee makes /v/ hurt in the butt.

>Implying Yahtzee isn't just a retard-magnet who just speaks fast and uses inane humor to wrack in as many tools as possible.

And I'm not saying that in FFXIII's defense, either. I couldn't care less.

>>54340489

>Implying tutorial stage even lasts past B-Lake.
>Implying you and everyone else is grasping at straws to hate it because it isn't your precious FF7

>>54340926
>implying i dislike him

even when he trashes good games he always manages to make me laugh

ITT: u mad? yeah u mad

And FFXIII is pretty shit. Why the fuck would I play a game for 20 hours on the hope that it's going to be good, when I could just play FF6 or 9 and have it be good the entire time?

>>54340670
I know right. It's like he has dissociative personality disorder. Some weeks he enjoys fun, other weeks he hates fun.

>>54340760
He never claimed that he'd review more than the first five hours.

>>54340801
I remember in Dragon Age he said something just like "Well, I do admit, I will continue playing it."

Bioshock I don't quite remember, that was so long ago.

ITT: FF13 continues to suck shit and fanboys continue to deny it.

I haven't played FFXIII yet, so I can't really pass judgment on the game, and I enjoy Yahtzee's videos, but if you take his reviews seriously you're a fucking idiot.

>>54340760

well, people are saying first 5 hours are still considered a tutorial in this game.

i think that's a little excessive for a video game. perhaps they could've paced the tutorial a little better.

you shouldn't make games that make people wanna stop playing so "early" in the story

>>54341053
Jesus Christ a 5 hour tutorial?

ALL THOSE MADCUNT WEEABOO BUTTH­URT TEARS!

IT'S SO DELICIOUS! I COULD DRINK THEM ALL DAY!!!!!!

>I like final fantasy VI
>Go on to explain how I hate everything about FFVI while thinking i'm now talking about FFXIII

Hurrrrrrrrrrr

>>54340942
>>FFXIII IS FFVII!

>Yahtzee hates games

/thread

This is but the second time he's reviewed a game based on the first 5 hours.


And my feelings towards the review are the same.

ITT: People who always shrug off his reviews suddenly say he's completely right when its not ME2 he's reviewing.

>>54340833
Aw, no body knows? :3

>i played this game for 5 hours
>the fact that vanille acts like she's from space, like, a different planet or something, makes no sense

protip: She is.

I usually like this guys reviews. But that was seriously one of the dumbest things I've ever heard in a review.

>>54341111

Their tears taste like unfathomable sadness

its soooooo goooooooooood


FF13 is a fucking nightmare, versus will suck too

>>54340965
Bioshock was, "I got shit for not saying bad things about Psychonauts so before I nitpick Bioshock to hell and back I will start off by saying that this is probably one of the best games of the year."

HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT

HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT

HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT

HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT

HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT

HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT

HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT
HE IS A CRITIC, NOT A REVIEWER, IDIOT

>>54341446
Calm the fuck down. Everybody knows this.

>>54341343
>OMG HE SO STOOPID
>HOW DID HE NOT KNOW SHE WAS AN ALIEN
>LOL WHAT AN IDIOT

Hahahhaa,

>>54341446
do you know what a food critic does
they review restaurants

Once again, Yahtzee proves he is a god among gaming journalist. Every review of his is spot-on.

If he says your favorite game is shit. Guess what? It's shit :)

>played 5 hours

What a fucking faggot.

>implying Yahztee is a credible game "journalist"

>>54341562
>You're a food critic.
>Order 1 of everything on the menu.
>First 10 things taste like dog shit.

What would you do?

>>54341446
Then he should actually critique the game, not just right cutesy little monologues and have stick figures act out funny bits referencing the game.

At this point, he is a gaming humorist that writes material related to newly released games. Not a critic.

>trashes games i hate
best review ever

>trashes game i like
omg stupid review

This is delicious!

Nothing wrong with that review. Hurtbutt FFags should try to disprove what he said instead of crying.

>>54341556
....

I'm not gonna comment about this one since I have not played this FF yet, but you are oh so wrong. He embellished very small problems and makes them HURF DURF THIS GAME SHOULDN'T DO THIS OR THAT. It's funny, but it's not sound reviewing.

See the Demon's Souls review, where he complains about the game being too hard and faults it. Literally.

This thread is full of.

>Yahtzee fanbois calling people weeabo

>Final Fantasy fanboys talking shit about the review

I thought it was unprofessional and hilariously unfunny myself. But whatever, 'I MAD'

>>54341256
While you may not agree with his opinion (neither do I), you have to admit that DS is not a game for the average gamer.

>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!

>>54339099

One of the more terrible of Yahtzees' reviews, honestly. Generally he gives a harsh review for giggles (as that's his 'thing'), but then towards then end he tends to have some rationale and normality. This weeks outing is just him being a total faggot.

Seriously; complaining about the menus and combat? What the fuck, Yahtzee? It's a JRPG, you screaming queer. What did you expect?

Actually that was a pretty unprofessional review. You should never say something like "I had fuck all time to do my job this week because I've been busy with other things".

Having said that, 5 hours is enough time to decide you think a game is shit. 5 hours is a long fucking time.

nowdays he cusses too much. other than that i still like him.

>>54339678
That's why people care. Gordon Ramsey, Simon, people like these people because North America is filled with fucktards who enjoy hearing a foreigner yell and be angry. None of these people are useful in any way, or even remotely credible, they're just entertaining to some people for some reason.

I'm really starting to hate this guy.

>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T­ LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!

>>54342135
You ain't seen anything.

>SUKMYTURBAN

He cusses a lot.

>>54341556
Actually, it should be. DS isn't a terribly hard game, it just takes time investment. To get better at the game, you have to actually play it.

Gamers today see that as a terrible thing. I use to work at gamestop, and people were complaining about it being too hard. When I responded that it's a matter of skill you accumulate and not cheapness on the computer's part, they still gruffly brushed it aside.

People are getting more and more brainwashed that they CAN'T get better at games and thus, easier games are released.

But this is just a mini-rant :D

>>54342116

He expects to entertain his fucking audience. Not only that but he "hates" almost every game on the market. Calm down.

>>54339099
>>Quit five hours in
>>Review
I don't have this game or a PS3, but that is not how a "review" works.

>>54342127
>Having said that, 5 hours is enough time to decide you think a game is shit. 5 hours is a long fucking time.

The game does shoot itself in the foot by trying too hard to have a simple learning curve.

>>54342170

Holy fuck, if I were a mod I'd be giving you a fucking holiday. Not because you're disagreeing with people, but it's the greentext faggotry and spam. If you don't like the discussion, just fuck right off out of the thread.

Agreed with him.
Total waste of money.

>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T­ ­LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!

Hey!

I'll go judge Half-Life 2 in it's first hour!

I'll make a review! YES YES YES! I'll talk fast and do shooty animated bits, I'll trash the game for it's lack of actual gameplay, easy difficulty, and become a internet superstar!

The weeaboo huttburt itt is delicious.

>>54340760
That's not the point. Fucking everyone says you need to invest MANY hours into FF13 before it becomes "good."

I'm not going to slog through 10 hours of shit just to get to the good part.

>>54341512

If he had just played the game, he would have known that. Simple as that.

>>54342353

Why not?

>>54342339
Holy shit, Tim.
We got another asspained faggot here!

>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T­ ­LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!­
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE DOESN'T LIKE THE GAME I LIKE!
>BAAAAAAAAAAAAAW MOMMY, HE LIKES THE GAME I DON'T LIKE!

>>54342260
>>54341556
It was calculated, by what he said, that he only spent a good 2 hours in DS and only beat one boss.

For the sake of humor, it's swell and all, but not actual reviewing. I question why people take him seriously.

>>54342353
>Fucking everyone

Not everyone. It's varied depending upon criteria for good. Some people think MUST BE OPEN WORLD WITH GRINDING LIKE AN MMO (like FF XII's entire game), so they'll say it occurs later.

The game starts off good, it's just a slow buildup to better.

>>54342261
>FF13
>Learning curve
>Has an auto-attack button

....

"Played on 3 discs"

That's his problem...he played the shit-tastic 360 version.

Suck on the Xbros...

Most JRPGs are trash if you really step back and look at them. This one is no different except it has flashy visuals.

The only thing that disappoints me with Yahtzee is that he will completely base a review on single player in a multi player based game which, in essence, is like not even reviewing 5 hours of a game.

I don't understand the whole.

>It's shit because I HAVE to wait 20 hours for it to get good!

I mean, you're playing a JRPG. On average, those have a life-span of well over 100+ hours. If you're honestly in it for the long haul, 20 hours is nothing.

Plus, it's not like those 20 hours are bad either. It's enjoyable for the most part, but I can see how it turns some people off abit.

"The game gets better 20 hours in!"

"Sure, if you left your hand on a stove for 20 hours eventually you wouldn't feel the pain anymore, but you'd have done some serious damage to yourself."

>>54342235
It's not hard but is a dick with world tendency remember, which means that people who do die over and over will probably just continue to do so

I play games because I want to have fun, not because I hope to some day, some time, maybe have fun.
If the game is shit I won't waste my time on it.

>>54342353

They say that to people who refuse to play a linear game. It opens up after a while, and THAT is what they mean by "good."

>>54342339
HL2 is good in its first hour.

Pretty much every good game ever you can play it for an hour before deciding if its good or not.

If you need to play a game for longer than FIVE HOURS before it becomes good, that is a failure on the games part. IT'S A FAILURE ON THE FUCKING GAMES PART. NO OTHER GAME IS LIKE THIS.

NO OTHER GAME TAKES 5 FUCKING HOURS BEFORE IT BECOMES GOOD.

Yahtzee hates JRPGs and has admitted this multiple times, his opinion on any specific game of the genre doesn't mean shit, as he doesn't like the genre to begin with.

Not everything is for everybody.

>>54342248

He doesn't hate every game on the market at all. He'll pick apart games for giggles, but usually he'll give a short but consise middle road towards the end. He'll start off by going, "THIS IS SHIT, THIS SUCKS, FUCK MY MOTHER, I HATE THIS SHIT" and then he'll go, "But I guess it does have the redeeming features of...". This is just him not having enough time to do a proper review and being totally biased against a genre anyway. Again, I mean, fucking seriously, complaing about the combat and menus in a JRPG? Fucking seriously, Yahtzee. Weak as piss.

Yahtzee's job is to get hits on the escapist.

When you watch his reviews even if you hate him and bitch about how he's a bad reviewer, guess what?

He did his job thanks to you. You are doing nothing but helping him when you bump threads about how he's a hack up, especially when you link a review that pissed you off.

Stop sucking his dick /v/ you sycophantic fucks.

>>54342592
> ;_;

>>54342592
>He spoke ill of my waifu

>>54342547
Your right...

some end before that

cough cough MW2

>>54342586

Rationalise it all you want, yahtzee isn't a troll, he's not telling lies, he actually hates the games he says he hates

>>54342547
You know RPGs basically require that you play them a lot to get the most out of them
Just because you only play Peggle and FPSs doesn't mean every game has to follow the same format.

>>54342502
So almost 1/4th of the game is garbage then, and you're OK with that. Usually the shitty part is at the end, you know, after you had your fun. Then you can just say "WELL I had some good times, time to put an end to this."

I can't imagine how fucking stupid or determined someone has to be to put up with 20 hours of a game that isn't fucking fun. Why are you defending this, seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?

The problem with it being long is that it's all PADDING, like he mentioned.

The game consists of Corridor>Fight>Cutscene repeated for the entire 3 disks.

So yes, it is a bad game for padding its length. I could argue that the plot/characters/gameplay is bad but hey, it's FF.

400 viral shitzee threads

>>54342502

U MAD?

I do conceed that the game takes an unfortunate amount of time to open up. Almost every reviewer (if you can even call Yahtzee that) has made mention of that, and I think it's universally agreed upon; if a game takes 20 hours to get decent there is an issue - the first 1/5th of the game sucks ass.

Most people wont give it the time of day when that's the case. If you were going to read a book, and the first 10 chapters ate cock, I doubt you'd end up reading it though.

>>54342687

I'm not rationalizing shit, I don't take Yahtzee seriously.

I'm amazed that /v/ promotes someone they claim to hate so much.

The guy is a professional troll, but on this one game I agree.

I'm not saying it's a bad game. If you enjoy it, fuck yea. For me it's like being raped in the eye by a weechild with a 12 inch penis. It sucks.

>>54342715

>I can't imagine how fucking stupid or determined someone has to be to put up with 20 hours of a game that isn't fucking fun.

Millions of people play WoW for HUNDREDS OF DAYS, and I'm sure a large percentage of them don't enjoy it. At all.

>>54342547
>NO OTHER GAME TAKES 5 FUCKING HOURS BEFORE IT BECOMES GOOD.

Actually countless games do, for varied reasons. Though FF XIII is pretty blatant about their introduction to mechanics being at a snail's pace.

You actually talk about Half-life 2 specifically and its first hour. You do recall the first hour of that game was basically walking around and using a pistol? Pistol combat isn't really the most interesting play in FPS games.

Imagine if HL2 was 5 times longer and it took 5 hours before you even got the SMG. That's a fairly similar comparison, I think. Some people would claim HL2 fails to be good until you get that SMG.

>>54342715

Who's saying it's garbage?

Alot of the missions involving Sazh/Vanilla, Lighting/Hope in the beginning are actually pretty fun, considering some of the combat aspects pick up.

Honestly, I think people, even more so on /v/ are blowing this whole '20 HOURS TILL IT GETS GOOD!' too much out of the water. Like I said, for those 20 hours, it isn't that bad.

>>54342582

Yeah, it's true he has bias against JRPGs, but he's an entertainer first and a reviewer second. If being biased allowed him to entertain/troll (as he so loves to do) his viewer, then he's doing what he intended his show to do in the first place.

>people actually justifying 20 hours of boredom

The game has to be fun from the start. Period. If it's not than it's shitty game design. Stop being rabid fanboys and face the truth already.

The game is so bad he actually had to stop playing it after 5 hours....yikes

>>54341688
>implying that "serious credible games journalist" is not an oxymoron

Why is he popular?

>>54342932

This. The first 20 hours are good. The rest is a different kind of good.

>Wait 20 hours for the game to get good.

Seriously, that's your argument, FF13 Fanboys?
Whoa, you're more stupids than I expected...

>>54342907
But wow vanilla was fun before 5 hours...

Make sure to click the ads after you watch! ;)

>>54342925
Imagine if HL2 was 5 times longer and it took 5 hours before you even got the SMG. That's a fairly similar comparison, I think. Some people would claim HL2 fails to be good until you get that SMG.

HL2 is also very atmospheric and being an FPS actually has gameplay other than tabbing through menus, so no, it's not the same thing and it isn't a fair comparison.

All FF13 has for the X amount of hours that it sucks dick is pretty graphics and cutscenes involving a few good characters and some really obnoxious ones.

>>54343056

Because he's consistently absolutely correct.

He also makes games, so he knows what he is talking about.

>>54343076

No, that's not our argument. That's what you want our argument to be.

>>54342582
>complaining about SHITTY GAME DESIGN

How about instead of throwing together elaborate jenga towers of behavior control and planting spheres in a grid I just fucking TELL MY GUYS WHAT TO DO and LEVEL UP?

>>54343158

but he isn't

Haha, great review!
You know a game is bad when even a professional reviewer won't finish it. :)
A+

THE FIRST 6 HOURS OF HITTING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL WERE PRETTY SHIT

IT GOOD REAL GOOD AFTER 20 HOURS

THIS JUSTIFIES HITTING MY HEAD ON A WALL

>>54342925

Yeah, but HL2 isn't that long with everything spaced out.

HL2 is paced extremely well. Plus, you say the pistol combat wasn't interesting? You had the pistol when you were escaping from the city with just a crowbar. You are supposed to feel like you are on the run. It's called "immersion" something I have not seen from FF in a long time.

>>54343115

So the first part of WoW, so to speak, was good. It's generally accepted that the quality of WoW nowadays ranges from "meh" to "shit." Let's compress WoW into a 40 hour game. The first 20 hours are good. The last 20 hours are shit. Is it still a good game?

What have we learned?

Something we have known for a long time

If you like RPGs and want to have fun
WRPGS

If you like weaboo fantasy land and watching movies
JRPGS

Nothing new here

>>54343076

No, you need to wait 60 hours for the game to get good.

But guess what?

Game's over by then

>>54343220

Uh, fuck off. HE IS.

If he bashed a shitty game you like, it's your fault for having bad taste.

>>54342709
I've never, ever once before seen this said before about any game. No other RPG requires such a massive investment of time before it becomes good.

Seriously, why are you fucking defending this? The game should be good *THE ENTIRE TIME YOU'RE PLAYING IT* not after you somehow proved your worthy and faithful and devoted so much time and effort to it.

A tutorial part is one thing. Tutorials in most games that aren't fucking stupid only last for 5 or 10 minutes. That's enough for any game to teach you the basics, and more than enough for a fucking RPG like final fantasy. But for 20 fucking hours, jesus christ.

And all you faggots go OH THAT ISN'T A BIG DEAL, LOL! Like, what the fuck. Do you even play games or do you just spout bullshit?

Trying to defend it like, no its cool cuz the game is so long. No it's not cool. It still sucks shit.

>>54343339

no, you're wrong.

CLICK MORE ADS

>only liked FF6
>sounds like I should take him seriously

>>54343199

You're asking a JRPG not to be a JRPG. It would be like going, "I fucking hate Forza because I can't get out of my car, walk around, pick up hookers, fuck them, shoot them and take their cash. Why can't Forza just be like GTA?". Like, fucking duh?

>>54343408

Prove it.

You can't.

All you can say is >BAAAAAAAAWWWW HE HATES MY GAME

>>54343355
>No other RPG requires such a massive investment of time before it becomes good.

I don't believe he said that.

I do believe many people in this thread have said that's simply not the case. But that's the only point you feel you can harp on.

It gets better later on, but that's not to say it starts off bad. It is kind of ridiculously slow in developing, I would agree, however.

And countless games try to have a curve.

>>54343283
Most of /v/ will agree most of WoW vanilla was fun all the way up to 60. Then most will argue it is the most fun at 60 during Vanilla.

From there it is pretty much a consensus that each expansion progressively made it shittier. BC was meh and I didn't even bother with the second.

>>54343453

Wow, just like me.

LOL

People hating on this game is hilarious.

>>54343500

but I am right

>>54343471
No, I'm asking the JRPG to not fucking gimp me for 20 hours before it decides to say 'Hey, here's this feature that actually makes battles more interesting!'

JRPGs already have incredibly little gameplay as is. Reducing it even further to literally "Pick autobattle" is fucking absurd.

>>54343500

There is nothing credible or factual about anything Yahtzee says. He's about as unprofessional as you get. I get great enjoyment out of his pieces each week, but not fucking once would I fool myself in to taking his 'reviews' with anything but a grain of salt. You're a fucking moron if you think he's a pillar of games journalism.

>>54343355

>20 hour tutorial

Look, just because it introduces a new mechanic semi-late in the game, that doesn't mean THE ENTIRE GAME prior to the last tutorial bit was also a tutorial.

If a movie has some text in it halfway through, it doesn't mean the movie was actually a book the whole time.

>>54343640
Sup, go play this.

>>54343339
But he bitched and moaned about DS, even though he only played the first stage. The god damn tutorial, and he thought he knew enough about the game to make a judgment.

>>54342715
The point is the beginning of the game isn't universally considered garbage. Some people liked the whole game. If not then the games just not for you.
Dragon Age bored me to tears cause the combat is nothing special and I just could not, for the life of me, give a shit about what was happening in the story.
Same difference, except I'm not gonna try to make a thread rallying people to agree with my hate.

>>54343527
Which is something I really have to bring up:

XIII doesn't magically become good at the 20 hour mark, you aren't going THIS GAME SUCKS then suddenly pixie dust sprinkles your screen and you put on your dinosaur hunting face.

No, the game, while extremely slow paced, is always getting better from the beginning. And then around the 20 hour mark, it gets so good you put on your dinosaur hunting face and go chase dinosaurs with a fishing rod.

So if Yahtzee reviews for comedic purposes, doesn't that make his opinion invalid?

>>54343500BAAAAAAAAWWWW HE HATES MY YAHTZEE

lol

>>54343640

Oh man, I'm not disagreeing with you on the 20-hours-to-get-good part. That I totally agree with. There is no excuse for any game to be shit for 20-odd hours before it actually starts to become enjoyable. That's a huge flaw. I was just talking about the menu and combat system; that really is a fundemental part of Final Fantasy (in it's many slightly differing but all very similar forms). Asking for that to go away is wishing it was a different game.

>>54343582

I agree. Vanilla WoW was fun. I had a blast at level 60. But the game is shit now. If people aren't willing to put up with the first part of FFXIII, how the hell are they still putting up with WOTLK for hundreds of hours?

>>54343527
FF13 is incredibly fucking dull if you aren't wooed by pretty colors and flashy graphics for its "introductory" phase, which lasts a delightful million fucking hours. So yes, it does start off bad, because its boring as shit to anyone not easily amused.

Its the games job to make people want to play it. Every ff13 fanboy saying oh its really good after you play it full time for one week! is not a good way to make someone want to play it.

>>54343801

SHUT THE FUCK UP

YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT BUT YAHTZEE DOES