At the end of every episode, The Turian Landlord says "Ahh yes, 'The Sitcom'" when the studio's name is shown

Quick recap.

Shepard and ME2 crew live together.
The Turian Councilor is their Landlord.
TIM is Shepard's boss
Harbinger lives in their walls. ASSUMES DIRECT CONTROL of things
Garrus' catchphrase is "That's our Shepard"
Grunt bursts through walls.

Ah yes, 'the credits'

wait wat

>>49138393

romantic situation for shep?

>>49138841
Anyone and everyone on the ship.

>>49138841
sucks off turian councilor when behind on rent

>>49138841
As far as I can recall, all the female characters want him. He may be in a relationship with Liara.

That or his relationship status changes for whatever joke we want

>>49138841
hokay how about this, Shepard writes a love letter to Miranda, but Liara accidentally gets it thinking Shepard wrote it for her.

Super Cahraaazaaayy.

>>49138841
:3

>>49138393
FUND IT TO THE MOON!

>323 posts omitted

>>49138922
"Ahh yes, I'm 'cumming'"

Joker is always coming up with stuff to ease his pains in his crippled legs

Like a.. Space house md.

Or a science fair episode perhaps!

and the theme song is the macgyver theme

>>49138841

>>49139038
Mordin's project would be the modified genophage!
Hijinks ensue!

there is a subplot following the council's hijinks

>>49139015

Hohoh

Shepard wakes up one day and looks out of the window

The normandy is under water

He rushes to joker, he opens the door. the gravity is off

And finds joker stoned out of his mind by krogan bluegrass and turian painkillers

"I was warm, cooling is important, shepard"

now about those VAs....

>>49139162
>>49139125
hijinksmind

>>49139188
>the normandy is under water

damnit i laughed

Grunt is getting frustrated!

Adult Swim or FX could do it.

SOMEONE FUND THIS

>>49139345
if adult swim did it, then joker could be voiced by seth green still

>>49139345
no Fox networks

they turn everything into the simpsons

I vote this thing goes on HBO

lets see if I can remember characters relationships...

Joker and EDI are 'joined at the hip' they'll often play pranks on each other and other crew members

Legion tries to be friends with the organics but get's it wrong most of time. Annoys Tali, asks EDI for help.

Shepard, Thane, Jacob, and Garrus' favorite show is "Blasto, The Hanar Spectre" Garrus downloads episodes form the extranet, and they were always 4 episodes a head. The girls make fun of them for liking it, but secretly watch it as well.

All flashbacks are done by Thane.

>>49138393
>Garrus' catchphrase is "That's our Shepard"

That was Grunt, not that it matters.

Joker is always spying on people.

Wrex, Ashley and Kaidan live across the hall, but are only introduced as neighbours in some surprise bizarro twist of fate.

Wrex comes in at random to say, "Shepard", with each time getting more over-the top.

>>49139548
Blasto is a guest star in one episode too.

>>49139548
>All flashbacks are done by Thane.

I like this.

>>49139657
When they do appear the in studio audience claps hysterically. There is a moment of pause when they arrive while the audience is done clapping.

The biotic god is the mailman.

Shepard: Hey guys, Blasto is on!

Grunt(breaks through the wall): Alright!

Garrus: Someone changed the channel!

Harbinger: ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL OF THE REMOTE... CONTROL!

Shepard: You're out of... control!

Grunt: T'hat's our Shepard!

*laugh track*

>>49139015


OH GOD YES

Shepard: Joker are you high?

Joker: No, i'm never high, now, get out of here, i need to concentrate to fly this thing

Shepard: You know, that's not the pilot seat. that's my closet

Joker: Oh....

Oh you joker

>>49139645
I thought Grunt was "That's my Battlemaster"

>>49139826

>>49139780
Yes.
Also, during kiss scenes, audience is obliged to go "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Garrus, Thane, and Jacob are watching Blasto's TV Show

Blasto: Enkindle This!
Garrus: HA! This show is genius
Tali: Guys, i could really use some help with the power couplers. And don't you need to clean the guns, Jacob?
Jacob: Sure, Tali, sure, in a minute
They resume watching
Tali: Bosh'tet
Laugh Track

Tali: Harbinger, can you help me out here?
Harbinger fires a dark energy ball at the TV
Harbinger: THIS HURTS YOU
Garrus: AWwwww!
Laugh Track

>>49139054
The will they won't they romantic tension between garrus and tali keeps up for a whole season.

And then we find out tali is a man.

Isn't there some website where we can abuse stock clips like the laugh tracks and "WHOOOOOOOOOS"?

shit'd be so cash

Garrus: Hey, where were you last night? I thought we were going to get a drink.
Shepard: Sorry Garrus, I was a little bit preoccupied.
*tali enters*
Tali: Shepard, can you drive me to Chakwas'? I'm feeling a little sick.
*wooooooohhhhhhhhhh*
Garrus: You've been getting sick a lot lately, Tali.
Miranda: Maybe she's having trouble keeping her suit on.
*laugh track*

>>49139826
I shouldn't have laughed, but I did

>>49140142
brilliant

Zaeed has an increasingly bizarre off screen relationship with some chick named Kasumi, who never actually appears on the show.

Wrex: Shepard
Shepard: Wrex
Wrex: Shepard
Shepard: Wrex
Wrex: SHEPARD
Shepard: WREX
Wrex: WREX
Shepard: SHEPARD

*laugh track*

I plan to make 70 bajillion credits off this scene alone.

>>49140369
>implying Zaeed is a character, and not just a figment of Shepard's imagination

at the end of each show they need to do a little silent scene at the end to the theme tune, just like at the end of Frazier

I bet somebody is making this and is going to post it on youtube.

best thread ever

>>49140444
After witnessing this scene Legion and Harbinger look at each other and say "assuming control" at the same time. Cue laugh track.

>>49140369

no! zaeed just compares every situation to a war story of his, sort of like how grandpa from the simpsons trails off into mumbling rants

>>49140368
>>49140142
Samefag.

[Shepard, Garrus and Grunt are sitting at the dining room table when Tali, distressed, storms towards them]

Shepard: ...so I said, "I've had enough of your snide insinuations!" and punched her square in the babymaker.
[laughter from Garrus and Grunt]
Tali: uuuuugghhh!
Garrus: you look pissed, Tali. Not that I can necessarily tell...
Tali: can it, you.
Grunt: ...problem, Quarian?
Tali: problem!? Oh no, not at all... just that SOMEBODY thought it'd be funny to mix Asari food in with mine!
Garrus: ...not a fan of Asari cuisine, are we?
Tali: GARRUS I SWEAR TO... look, which one of you did this?
Grunt: huh... couldn't have been me. If I wanted you dead I'd just shoot you. Less subtle... but probably less messy, knowing how you Quarians react to other people's food
Shepard: ...kinda like how they react to other people's culture, am I right?
Garrus: oh Shepard, you card!

>>49140601
The true fans dig Shepard's figment dating a figment.

Shepard has a poster of Zaeed in his room.

Jack bitches about stuff all the time, often saying she's tired of all of it and is going to leave. She never does.

Thane and Jacob are generally the 'straight men' of the group.

I can't remember anyone else...

I wish we could upload audio files.

>>49140885
NOOOOOO
Zhaeed is supposed to be like Cosmodion from Flinstones(?), only Shepard can see him

Thread needs more mordin.

Aaah yes, the "airline food"

>this entire fucking thread

>>49140792

No...i wrote the story...
someone else said brilliant.
*sigh*

>>49141054
okay how about this, he lives with them, but no one else goes to visit him and he never leaves his room, so they believe he's just a figment of Shepard's imagination.

Whenever Shepard talks to him, the conversation eventually just turns into Zaeed talking about missions he's been on.

>>49140941

She is also secretly in love with shepard

Drama ensues

>>49141054
Well only Shepard can hear poster Zaeed talking to him.

"Burn the son of a bitch. You know you want to."

Shepard: Thane, did you remember to get the groceries?
*dramatic closeup on Thane*
Thane: Rummaging through my pockets for change - the cashier glares at me from across the counter - beads of sweat on his forehead glistening like -
Shepard: THAAAAAANE

>>49141212
I approve.

>>49141232
all the girls are secretly in love with Shepard.

Shep also appears to be holding relationships with all of them at the same time, and they all know it.

>>49141255
I lol'd

>>49141255

That does it, somebody make this shit happen.

Turian: Shepard, your rent is due
Shepard: Look landlord, I'll get you your damn rent as soon as possible, kinda busy with the ship repairs after all these fights with the Reapers!
Turian: Aaah yes, "the Reapers"...

>>49141255

Thane then makes this face

>>49140941
Jack is like the angsty teen daughter of the ship

Jack: I'M GOING TO A PARTY
Shepard: ohhhh no you're not! we need you here incase the collectors attack
Jack: UGH, YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING, I'M TOTALLY TAKING THE SHUTTLE

>she flies off the ship to the planet below in a shuttle<

>EDI's hologram pops up next to shepard<
EDI: you know, i could shoot her down
>shepards face goes blank as he slowly stairs upwards, starting to grin<
EDI: Shepard?
Shepard: no! just... ugh... send grunt and garrus down to make sure she doesn't murder anyone

Krogans are jews.
Salarians are nazis.
Holocaust jokes write themselves.
Larry David and Wagner music.

Shepard has crazy Scrub-esque flashbacks to parts in ME 1 when shit got real. pic related.

Joker to shepard: We have decided to prank jack.. This time it'll be real good

Shepard: Better than we painted her room to match her tattoos?

Joker: Much better, we have spiked her water with krogan spice, and we designed a program to open every airlock with her presence in, and then we beam her back to the normandy the second she enters space

Shepard: oh you, guys

Off scene: AAAAAAAAH... Wait...AAAAAHHHH

*laughing track*

>>49141087
Mordin is dating Kelly. Everyone else thinks "psychologist" is a Salarian euphemism.

>>49141714

>oh man, this is worse than the time I travelled to that colony that was under the control of a huge sapient plant!

Clerk: good day, sir
Shepard: I need the most advanced calibrator you got.
Clerk: Yes, The turian 3000, the new shipment just came in today. 40000 credits
Shepard: Perfect, will credit card be alri- Wait is that the great blue masoon fish, I've been looking for one forever?
Clerk: Why yes, incredibly rare, I don't think I'll be able to hold on to it for long... 40000 credits.
Shepard: Hmm, but I promised Garrus to lighten his workload..

>cut to Normandy, Shepard admiring his aquarium with a huge grin on his face.

>>49141724
normandy has no teleporters

Mordin is idly doing a crossword at his station

Mordin(to himself): 4 down, 8 letters... hmm... a human goat-tender....

Wrex explodes through the wall but doesnt say anything.
*audience Whoooooooo track*
he and Mordin look at each other.

Mordin: Thanks Wrex.

Wrex: it's what i'm here for.

a cross-species brofist is enacted
*Audience Aaaw track*

Am I the only one imagining all this stuff in the kitchen and the living room of "Family Matters"?

>>49141905
HAHAHAHA FUCKING FUND IT

>>49141937

It has one now

>>49141982
Best bros 4 lyfe

*bro fist*

hahahaha

someone needs to put this shit up on youtube

I'll fund it straight through the omega-4 relay

>>49141905
>at the end of the episode, cuts to the aquariem empty, and shepard screaming "WHERE ARE MY FISH?!" -- then immediately cut to garrus telling grunt he caught some fish, but can't eat them, and wonders if grunt would like them as a snack

>>49141982

I fucking love you.

>>49142134

Just don't mention the Genophage re-release in Wrex's earshot

You know Bioware writes good characters when this kind of stuff works so damn well.

"Im commander Shepard and this is my favorite store on the Citadel."

Close up on the salesman. "Shepaaaaard!

*laugh track*

>>49140142
Donnelly: Damn it, Tali's back. Quick, act like you're working.
Gabby: I always act like I'm working.
Tali: I'm right here, you know.

>>49142188
>Garrus: "Hey Grunt. Want to eat some fish from the lakes up on the Presidium?"

ASSUMING CONTROL OF THIS FRIDGE

THIS HURTS YOU, JERRY

WAIFU WAIFU WAIFU

>myfaceatthisentirethread.jpg

God damn you /v/, I want to stay up but I have work in 5 hours ;_;

>>49139826
>>49140032
Harbinger is on his way to becoming my favorite character

Tali: Shepard, my love, how about you send all of the secret military data to this handy Reaper email?
Shepard: HARBINGER! Release control of Tali this instant!
Harbinger: (to self) How does he always notice?

[Shepard's family is visiting due to some HEELARIOUS plot machines! This includes his identical twin brother.]

Shepard : So uhh, Mom.
Mom : Yes, dear?
Dad : SHUT UP SON I'M SMELLING ALIENS
Shopord : Oh dad, you have been smelling aliens since you wandered into a elcor's backside!
Shepard : OK guys, now that we're all together, let's-

[6 Wrexes enter the room through various means.]

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit

Needs more Tali - Legion banter

Of course we will have a silly 'sports' episode, like everyone playing rugby.
Grunt goes 'I .AM.KROGAAAAAN' and bursts through defenses, Jacob will put barries and go 'NOTHING'S GONNA HURT ME NOW', Jack will use biotics to pass the ball, Garrus will snip it and shout 'SCOPPED AND DROPPED', and Thane will be the commentator and 'recap' each scene dramatically.
Of course, Sheppard is a vangaurd and will use Charge, and Mordin will stop advances with Cryo blats.

(Tali in Shepards room, cuddling)
Shepard: I love you Tali
Tali: I love you too Shepard, always
Harbringer: I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 2 times now.

>>49142928

Goddamnit, you stupid Reaper!

Mine was 7th request. Good god, this thread is retarded, but I love it.

>>49142926
>Thane will be the commentator and 'recap' each scene dramatically
FUND IT

FUND EVERYTHING

>>49142926

'SHEPARD, PASSES BALL, EMOTIONLESS FACE SHINING IN THE SUN, RECKLESSLY TACKLED BY GRUNT'

>>49143045

ah yes, the 'reapers'

>>49142911
Donnely: After our last mission this damned ship is bloody bruised up the arse, ain't she?
Tali: Yes, and the technical damage is extensive.
Legion: We would like to offer repair assistance to the Creators to quickly increase unit efficiency.
Tali: Yes, that would be quite welcome
Legion: It is noted that Creator is grateful
Tali: S-stupid bosh'tet, it's not like I really need your help....
*audience goes D'awwwwwwww*

>>49143373

"Today, on a very special episode of mass effect..."

Tali: Legion, do you know what happened to my spare power cells?
Legion: Yes. I was using them to construct a gift for Shepard-Commander, the day of his birth is imminent.
Tali: And my pleasure stimulation program?
Legion:...No data available.
*laugh track*

>>49143657

"...There was a hole."

>>49143622
Tali: Shepard...I have...an infection.

>>49143707
Tali: Shepard... I talked to Mordin and... I'm pregnant.

>>49143622
Bitch Reporter:'There are rumors you chafe after Reapers while you wank around in the Normandy...'
Shepard: I've had enough of your supercilious implications'

*PUUUUNCH*

An episode devoted to mass media.

>>49142736
Tali: Shepard, my love, how about you send all of the secret military data to this handy Reaper email?
Shepard: HARBINGER! Release control of Tali this instant!
Harbinger: (to self) YOU HAVE FAILED ME.

>>49143768