Quick time events. Sometimes the button changes before you press it.

>>48087846

Oh my fucking god. I would kill myself.

high pitch squeaky voice little children for all the characters

Actually, I thought you guys were talking about the real game RAGE for a second. Isn't it being developed by id?

there must be very limited weapon ammo.
the AI knows the buttons you push when you push them, and reacts accordingly.
there are a lot of collect-able secret items that the devs never explain what you get for them. usually thousands of items. after collecting them all you get concept art.

One level is nothing but a hallway filled with instant deathtraps, you need to time a run perfectly to get through just one of them, never mind 250 of them.

>>48087846

>>48087967

I hate this. Concept art isn't a fucking reward worth a damn. Should be included with the game, or in the FUCKING MANUAL.

No. Manuals are now 4 black and white pages.

-Horrible voice acting!
-Small letters in the option screen
-Many explosions that lag the system.

RAGE only comes with the "bad" and the "normal" ending. The "good" ending is a overpriced DLC.

- Shooter when you can't jump / duck / prone,

- Rpg without an inventory / attributes.

>>48088081
No no all the endings are DLC

-RAGE offers a very detailed character face creation system. Alas, the model in the creation menu and the model in the game always look slightly different.
The model in the game is always uglier.

-RAGE strips you of all your equipment and items before the final boss.

-RAGE ends with a cliffhanger. There will NEVER be a RAGE 2.

Post the copypasta of it.

The game forces you to keep your console / computer connected to the internet at all times during play, otherwise the DRM verification will fail and the game will freeze.

All progress is lost when this happens.

Grenades explode instantly upon hitting the ground

>>48088110
You can lean though!
You lean at 90 degree angles.
You lose health because of your back hurting like hell.

the sequel!

It only takes one hit for you to die The weakest enemy you encounter takes a minimum of twenty to go down.

>>48088110

Guess what guys ! There is a game like that already : ME2

-RAGE has a wide array of items for your inventory. Sadly they all use very smal, unrecognizable and generic icons. The only way of knowing what is each item is hovering the mouse over the icon. The tooltip takes 3 seconds to appear EACH TIME YOU HOVER OVER A DIFERENT ICON.

>>48088310
Inventory sucked in the first I dont know why people still complain about it

>>48087959
yes indeed they are using id tech5 as graphic engine' game seens a generic fallout3 if u ask me

Australia's release of RAGE was delayed for six months and it was heavily censored.

>>48088142
Rage allows you to customize a character to perfection and then puts him in power armour for the rest of the game.

Unskipable cutscenes!

-RAGE only autosaves, there is no way to manually save or create multiple saves
-RAGE has a monthly free even for the single player
-RAGE has multiple points where items are permanently missable and will always autosave after items become missed
-RAGE has music so loud you can't hear sound effects or talking, there is no way to turn the music down or turn on subtitles
-If you're playing the 360 version, RAGE's quicktime events will tell you to hit PS3 controller buttons and vice-versa. The PC version will occasionally make you hit alt-f4 during quickitme events

>>48088369

So because inventory sucked we cut it rather than make a better one ? Seriously. Imagine Diablo without an inventory ? I think blizzard would go up in flames.

>>48088194

The last level of RAGE is $20 DLC, every time you die you must pay $20 again to retry the level.

>>48088463
>monthly free

>>48087789

-RAGE's boss fits have bosses that kill you in one hit. The attack slowly and once. Then they randomly add a combo quick attack that kills you regardless after the initial slow attack.

-RAGE there are random instances of cut scenes ranging from 1min to 90mins. Each one has a quick time event randomly placed. If you fail to complete the quick time event you start the level over again.

>>48088253
HUD adds menus and shit that Stay on screen 100% of the time. HP? Always there. Damage indicator? Always there. Achievements, unlocks, and item bonus descriptions? GOOD LUCK WATCHING THAT CUTSCENE!

-RAGE it is Metroid: Fusion

Unskippable cutscenes which don't even explain the plot/level

>>48088420
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

-RAGE offers launch day DLC. The DLC consist of the first zone of the game. You can't play without it.

I serious/ly hope there is no developers taking note of this one

You get game over, and you are tracked down, and charged a failure fee every week for the rest of your life.

unimportant cutscenes cannot be skipped

important cutscenes are skipped if the sixaxis detects any sort of movement

>>48088515
>hurr durr game doesn't have the same features as every other game of the genre
Game doesn't need an inventory, game has no inventory.

has numerous 4chan memes in the dialogue

>>48088791
Every level is it's own DLC. All levels require a shitload of points/cash to play. Monthly fee to play the game at all. Forgetting to pay the fee for one month will require you to repurchase all of your DLC, so that they might prevent hacking/stealing.

Every copy of RAGE has a point in the game where it will crash. This point is different in every copy of the game, and the way to avoid it is unique to each copy.

Stealth Escort missions where you lose all your weapons and if you're caught once you're sent back to the beginning of the level.
Also the character you're escorting can't be left alone for more than 10 seconds before doing something stupid.

-RAGE DLC add important plot details that create retro active continuity errors and add effectively very little. You must start the game over and you may or may not come across the DLC after 18 hours.

>>48088859
OH GOD I MAD

In RAGE you engage in final fantasy-like combat with two characters.
Each time you introduce commands for one of your characters, you must plug your controller in the correct port. Character 1 - player 1, character 2 - player 2.
The combat is in real time.

They already made RAGE the videogame.

It's called "Battletoads".

RAGE has no dedicated servers

RAGE has a 5 minute unskipable cutscene before every bossfight (which is impossibly hard) and if (more like when) you die, you have to watch the whole scene all over again

RAGE offers multiplayer matchmaking based on age. Older gamers will always accompany those under 15 years of age when online.

why are there so many angry 15 year olds on 4chan

RAGE will give you a checkpoint in the middle of a gunfight as you're about to die so you have to play that one checkpoint a thousand times

>>48088910
and all of them are misused

-RAGE features the same engine as Oblivion.

-Rage's game disc is not in the box. Just a DLC voucher with a code that allows you to get the game in each console's respective store. Rage's box can be purchased for $59.99. Rage can be downloaded for $59.99.

>Disc check every 5 minutes

The PS3 version has a five minute long install every half hour

>>48089018
This, but it is now 4 players.

The game is an Xbox 360 exclusive

Happy gaming

>>48088862
Goddamn that's guarantees insta rage
Also ESCORT MISSIONS!

your AI sidekick has the durability of a breakable crate & carries a knife for self defense but will injure self when panicked which is 98% of the time (the 2% is cutscene injuries)

-RAGE comes with a sidekick who can AND WILL engage in pointless unskipable conversations randomly with you.

-RAGE UNSKIPABLE TUTORIALS.

-RAGE will feature cutscenes directed by Uwe Boll.

-RAGE the developer releases numerous trailers spoiling almost every part of the game.

RAGE will cause the RROD on your Xbox 360.

>>48088910
>Underage B4nd
>F0GG3T
>Newfog
>Darp

in before Activision makes this game

2 hour escort mission in which you can not save. Escorted character dies in cutscene 2 minutes later.

>>48089339
There is a waiver you must sign saying that Rage takes no responsibility for your Xbox360.

Paying for rage will not be refundable

>>48088862

For 360 owners, important cut scenes will skip if your controller is turned on/plugged in

RAGE has a co-op mode with increased difficulty when compared to the single player game. The reward for finishing co-op mode is a suit of armor with a slightly more blue color than the normal blue suit of armor. Only one player can obtain the reward, and co-op must be completed again for the second player to receive their reward. A glitch in the final level prevents the co-op campaign from being finished.

the unskippable cutscenes never contribute to plot development, they're just characters revealing irrelevant things or reviewing shit you quite obviously already know. the real plot points occur in HL2 style dialogues, which happen while you're in the middle of firefights and usually are not as loud as the actual gameplay. you cannot review anything they say, and these dialogues will include information that is necessary to traverse the game

-RAGE will have 90 minute long cut-scenes you can't pause

RAGE for superior master race too!
PC gamers can enjoy a crappy console port of RAGE with controls that no one bothered to even change. (Press R1 to switch teams!)

I'm looking at you, last Remnant

RAGE has dozens of unskippable videos when you boot up the game advertising everything from EA games to sections of the game.

EVERY FLOOR IS MADE ENTIRELY OF CONVEYOR BELTS, WHAT ISN'T CONVEYOR BELTS IS LAVA

There must be auto-scolling stages with platforms that fall off. The problem is that you don't know which platforms will fall off, so it is simply trail and error.

RAGE will feature squad based combat. command your squad of liabilities and try not to get stuck in a hallway! Your squad has the unfortunate habit of running in front of your gun as it fires

>-RAGE has autosave, but it autosaves once every hour.
On the hour.
Every Hour
regardless if there is an rpg coming in your face that will hit and kill you in 2 seconds.

>>48089383

YOU WIN.

-RAGE must buy a extra peripheral that no other game uses or will ever use in order to play. This peripheral is large, and uncomfortable.

Retarded AI sidekick character that thinks it is Rambo. Runs off and tries to solo really dangerous monsters and dies.

When sidekick dies, you have to restart the level.

You have to buy ammo with real money. And the in-game ammo costs twice as much as RL ammo of the same type.

>>48088012

Sounds like the ending to the last level of call of cthulu, that shit was broke as hell.

>>48087789

Also, you can only load the autosave.

>>48089477

>>48089590

Said peripheral is needed for a quicktime even in one of the game's shorter scenes.

If you Die, your save file is deleted.

-RAGE's storyline is written by Stephenie Meyer

when you die, RAGE reloads back to one second before you die

Friendly-fire is always on during all game modes. Your Ally's AI have a tendency to shoot at you and instantly kill you.

Already been made faggot.

Archive this shit

the game begins with a 3 hour long tutorial. this tutorial will both show you on-screen information and tell you different information in a loud voice. the information will quickly change on screen while the guy is talking, and as soon as he finishes, you have to do either a move he was talking about or one that was on screen to go onto the next move.

don't even try to guess the motions. camera changes by holding L2+R2 and moving the D-Pad, weapons are selected with the left analog stick while holding R3, attacks are done by holding a button and swinging the left analog stick in the opposite direction, movement is L1 to move forward, R1 to move backward, hold L3 and move the right thumbstick to turn. aiming is done with the tilt sensor.

-THE GAME IS 2 HOURS LONG AND HAS 90% OF IT'S FEATURES AS DLC

-IT'S A FIRST-PERSON SHOOTER, BUT FILLED WITH JAPANESE KAWAII TEENAGE CHARACTERS

-

>>48089808

>>48089808

Rage operates the world in real time. When an NPC tells you to come back again next week, you must leave your console on for 1 week straight. You are not allowed to save during that week.

You only get one life
when you die all your autosave data is deleted
You cant load while fighting and the game saves durring fights
You have to be playing to load saves
When creating a new game to load your saved game you are greeted with a 1 and a half hour cutsceen that is unskippable and is just random shit that would make the happiest man on earth want to kill himself
When creating a new game, the autosave wont start untill 12 into the game.
First 12 hours of gameplay are timed underwater stealth escorts with you escorting 30 people from destination to destination and the AI is the most retarded ever convied
Ironicly the enemy ai is the best that has ever been made and has no flaw and can easilly kill your escorties
When any one of the 30 die, you lose and when you lose, its game over.
To be able to shoot you must do a QTE every time while the enemy moves and shoots in real time.
The friendly AI often gets stuck in places they shouldent and wander off away from the group
To walk you have to use L and R triggers
You charecter randomly looks sharply up and down at random moments, usualy at the worst time

Every level in RAGE will be this


tails will always be there

RAGE got 10.0 by most "videogame critics".

>>48089887

Tutorial narrated by James Cameron

>>48089889
it's a first-person rhythmic platformer with puzzle elements. the puzzles take place on the rhythmic platforms, in the middle of battle and while someone is talking to you on the codec.

you have to escort a defenseless old Jewish woman across the conveyor belt platforms during the firefight rhythmic puzzle platform

>>48089933

The game can tell if you changed the in-game clock.

-RAGE you have to click two buttons at the same time. These buttons on your 360 controler are right joystiq and A

Rage will include nuke launchers that can break crates but not wooden doors or props

Timed forced stealth multiple escort item collecting water labyrinth levels filled with invisible walls with FPS platforming, backtracking, oxygen and stamina bars that make warning noises as they decrease, unskippable 2 hour tutorial intro level, unskippable in game hints, unskippable in game text with the option to repeat everything you just read being the default option, 50 digit case sensitive manual entry save system, constant button matching minigames in order to do a common action, jump button mashing in order to swim/stay afloat, one hit kill hazards, lock on targeting where you can't choose your target and can target corpses, NPC's are controlled by a microphone and only have one line that they repeat every 20 seconds, and limited oxygen with instant game over for friendly fire, heavy bloom, one enemy model for the entire game that can only be knocked out by your weapons for 30 seconds until they revive, EA Trax Soundtrack, in game advertisements, randomly added objectives that you aren't told about, and horribly placed checkpoints with limited saves played on co-op over XBox Live. There is a boss fight at the end of every level that requires an unspecified item from earlier in the level to beat and the NPC's fight in and aren't allowed to die, but are killed off in a cutscene directly after the boss fight ends. Every time you or an NPC dies you have to watch the death cutscene and every time you respawn you can't skip the respawn cutscene.

>>48089992

Famitsu awarded it 50 out of 40.

You have to buy the DLC or else you will be reminded about how important it is to buy it in every single dialogue.

>>48089945

Whenever you get Game Over, you must watch a 30-minute unskipabble cutscene before loading.

>>48089945
OH GOD RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEE

Sadly, those awesome parts of the game featured in the trailer couldn't make it into release.

>>48089999
Comes on its own DVD.
The game can only be bought digitally and you must download both dvds.

>>48089966
You have no control over Tails.
Tails heads for the nearest hazard or enemy that will kill him instantly.
If Tails dies, the entire game is over and you start from the beginning.
You can't stop Tails, only destroy the enemies.
The enemies will hit you from far distances as Tails walks towards them.
You're armed with a close-range weapon and can't block.
You get hit once you die.
You move once per second.
You only have one life.
Enemies take twenty swings each.
You miss every other swing.
Some enemies are immune to your weapon or may reflect the damage at random.

Best Video Game Ever

This video game was designed by /v/ itself. It is supposed to be the best game ever.

-An underwater level in space with reversed controls.
-Escort mission that you cannot shoot the escorted person or any children.
-During the escort mission children saunter out of the bushes directly into your line of fire, all the while the person you are escorting weaves in and out of your line of fire screaming things such as "DON'T SHOOT ME, SARGE!" "JESUS GRAVY!" and "HOLY DICK NUGGETS! I'VE BEEN HIT!" all in the voice of Gomer Pyle.
-All enemies are dressed as children.
-Any time you are shot a cut scene starts. The camera zooms in on the wounded body part and replays you being shot three times in three different angles in bullet-time.
when you load the game, at least 6 unskippable intro screens displaying the company's logo, producer, distributor, system, mascot, "thank you"s, and other animated screens that last 8 seconds or more
-The game automatically sets your controller's rumble feature to "maximum rumblage" and "constantly on."
-No pause.
-No reset.
-If the game detects a rumble controller, it breaks it
-All cameras are in fixed locations
-All levels are timed including untimed levels.
-All timers begin at 10 minutes. When the timer reaches 7 minutes it begins beeping every second. The beeping is in the sound of a bicycle horn.
-Every timer begins 3 minutes before the level starts.
-At the end of every level you must refight every boss you have previously defeated.
-All levels are filled with bosses you have previously defeated.

>>48089885

how?

All of your favorite cameo's appear in the form of narrators.
-Peggy Hill
- Chuckie from Rugrats
- and of course lets not forget The sound of a dispensor.
Other more preferred characters make appearances as the game takes a sudden twist and switches to third person which is the fucking game sitting on the shelf next to them while you are forced to watch the gamebox behind glass for the final boss fight.

>>48090203
-All damage done while wearing shoes will be reduced by half.
-Your character has no feet.
-Enemies respawn immediately after death, sometimes right behind you...with their gun drawn and pointed at the back of your head.
-One head shot kills you.
-If shoes are worn on your hands, you die.
-Anytime an enemy appears "WARNING" flashes in big red letters across the screen and sirens go off for half an hour.
-The siren noises overlap each other.
-The attack button and jump button are the same.
-When underwater, the oxygen bar always blends in with the surrounding water.
-All water is acid.

First, it shows the developers and some credits. You cannot press a button to make them fissapear faster. All of them played takes about one minute. Then, an unskippable two minute intro.
Title Screen: Press "A/X" to start!
>Press A/X
>Nothing
>Press Start Button
>THEN it loads

Only one save slot, but the game is one of those "choose-your-own-adventure" things where you make decisions and stuff. Autosaves every minute. Unskippable, Unpausable cutscenes. You MUST watch them because they are your only way of knowing what to do in the next mission. You cannot rewatch them. Select your single save slot and play!

Twnety minute long, unskippable, unpausable intro that is just some soft shot of space or something with a narrator explaining the story. He has the most monotone, monotonous voice ever. After that, an unskippable tutorial about literally everything.
>Press "Start" to pause the game.
>Good! You can also press start to unpause the game while it's paused.
>Pause and unpause the game five times.
>Press "Up" on the analog stick to move forwards, "Left" to move Left, and "Right" to move "Right".
>You cannot walk backwards or strafe.

The first level is an escort mission where you must take your defenseless sister through the forest. The enemies are piss-weak, but they are all over and kill your sister in one hit. Unskippable, 30 second long "Failure" cutscene. When you beat the level, your sister dies anyway.

To be continued in another post.

>>48090261
-Each level is equivalent to 12 miles of walking distance.
-Your character is in a wheelchair.
-There is a 1 out of 2 chances your wheelchair will get a flat by running over ground. If the wheelchair does get a flat, you must get out and push.
-98% of all levels are uphill; the other 2% is covered in landmines.
-If you find a landmine by stepping on it, you die. If you find a landmine and walk around it, you die.
-All enemies are riding boat/jeep hybrids that can fly. If you try to drive/navigate/fly one, it will run out of gas and explode on impact even if nothing was hit.
-The escorted NPC keeps complaining for not going fast enough because you're too busy saving their ass while they do nothing.
-You automatically pick up all items in sight
-All items have the same sprite
-The names of all of the items are written in Cantonese
-You automatically use the first item in your inventory eveytime you open it up
-Half of the in-game items are deadly poisons or acids

-RAGE when large companies buy the rights to remake classic games and totally ruin them (bethesda)

-RAGE when a a games art direction leads into a whole bunch of cartoon faggotry and then other companies pick up on it. (blizzard)

Poison darts that reverse your controls for 10 seconds

>>48090297
-Every time you press the pause button, the pause menu take 5 seconds to load.
-During this time, your own controls are frozen, but the rest of the game continues
-The jump button and crouch button are the same.
-All enemies carry automatic laser guided rocket launchers with adjustable scope.
-You carry a shovel.
-When killed, an enemy will drop their gun.
-Any gun you pick up, other than your shovel, will not have ammo in it.
-Ammo can be bought at ammo supply stores.
-Ammo supply stores are unlocked after beating the game.
-9th level is a stealth level with only a desert eagle as your weapon and you must complete it while wearing light-up sneakers
-The crouch button and “erase all data” button are the same
-There will be downloadable content that you have to pay for. This content will be released on the same date that the game is.
-You cannot defeat the game without this content
-All enemies have the charm spell

In the month before RAGE's release, a huge viral marketing campaign will have taken place on /v/. The two weeks before page 0 will have been absolutely filled with RAGE threads with people from all platforms proclaiming it as the best game in existence.

>>48090326

If an antidote is not found, timer resets.

>>48090297
-At the beginning of every level the game restarts.
-When above water, the oxygen bar always blends in with the surrounding air.
-All air is acid.
-In the 26th level you are accompanied by six other teammates.
-All teammates are equipped with a grappling hook that can only be fired at fellow teammates.
-To save the game you must press all buttons at once in rhythm with whatever music is playing at the time.
-All music is written by Aphex Twin.
-Between every level there is a teleport maze
-the teleporters switch destinations every level
-teleport to the wrong level and you have to do that level over again
-Game ends with a cliff-hanger

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit
ARCHIVE NOW

Every fight begins with a QTE. This QTE requires you to spin your controller and mash the L3 and R3 buttons. Halfway in, you have to spin it the other way. If you fail, you'll lose half your life bar. Enemies can attack you during this QTE.

Important things are told quietly with no option of subtitles
Fuck you Killer7, Fuck you.
Also the game controls are exactly like XIII's console controls.

>>48090406
-The opening cut scene is over 12 hours long and cannot be skipped. At the end of the cut scene there will be a quiz. The quiz consists of 235 questions and 110% is required to pass. If you do not pass, the game resets itself.
-All questions are timed.
-At the end of every level the opening cut scene replays.
-During the cut scene your controller and power button is disabled. If you attempt to unplug the console the game becomes self-aware.
-All cut scenes will be voiced by Japanese voice-actors who speak no English.
-All cut scenes are in English.
-The game automatically turns any and all volume settings on high.
-All NPCs scream constantly.
-NPCs will speak without being spoken to. When more than one NPC is speaking, your console will shut off.
-NPCs will give you commands and continually say that exact sentence over and over until you complete what they ask
-NPCs give you useless facts and game tips such as how to jump and that you should heal yourself throughout the entire game
-At the end of the game your character wakes up.

Quick-time events involving the D-pad

Exclusive to the 360

All rhythmic sections require perfect timing and tempo. All songs are variable tempo remixes of Merzbow.

The reccomended specs for the PC version of RAGE will be slightly below what any current PC is capable of.

RAGE has cutscenes before, in the middle of , and after every level.

RAGE has a loading time between cutscenes.

RAGE has cutscenes when preforming certain actions (such as entering a door, going up a ladder, etc.)

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

Come on guys

Also

Rage must have designated save points. They are hours away from each other when you are not fighting enemies, near half a day away when fighting any form of enemy. Boss fights have no amazing cutscene or beautiful cinematic to reward you for defeating this aura of impossibility. Instead, it gives you ratings from "PERFECTION" to "U SUX0rZ FAGGOT", being S to F. Getting an S calls for you to kill the boss and his minions which spawn relentlessly, 100% perfectly, take no damage, fall under the time limit, and your escort/ai sidekick must also take no damage. Your ai sidekick is >>48089595, but runs away from weaker enemies.

Every time you take damage a large red warning bar the covers 1/3 of the screen pops up with loud sirens. They can overlap.

>>48090461
-Last level is impossible to finish
-Snipers everywhere
-If someone sees you, you die
-Invisible enemies
-You can't jump
-At the beginning of every level, you fight a tonberry.
-this game has two difficulty settings, easy and normal. Anybody that chooses normal will be shocked with 10,000 volts through the controller
-Online play is free
-The online multiplayer servers are all located in Brazil and various other third-world countires
-The credits list every single person in the company, including every international division, marketing section, administration section, developer's wives and children, and everyone that helped make it
-Game is a joint division game developed by everyone in Nintendo, Sony, and Pepsi corporation
-Main game developer is Sonic Team
-Every name in the credits has its own separate screen come up
-The credits are unskippable
-If you quit while watching the credits, the game's memory erases itself
-The credits has a Japanese song sang by high-pitched young Japanese girls with lisps play in the background at maximum volume
-The chorus repeats itself 20 times
-Lowering the volume causes the game to crash

And that is the synopsis for the best game ever!
What do you think, /v/?

>>48090540
Every time the labels overlap, you take damage.

>>48090542
I think I'm fucking raging.

>>48090521

How do you sub to archive?

>>48090289

The second mission is a defense mission. Hold off al those piss-weak enemies for 75 minutes in a small-as-fuck house. However, after constant attacking for twenty sceonds, you're stamina meter empties and you are defenseless for five seconds. If you beat that mission, the monsters destroy the house and you run out of the woods. The monsters are chasing you and you must timed race out of the woods. The only way to get out in the alloted time is to be sprinting the entire time without making a single mistake and making turns JUST ENOUGH INSIDE that not a pixel of you hits the "offraod" grass. When you beat that, yopu are in a town. You meet someone who gives a long, long speech about the town. The only way to advance through the dialouge is to press A/X for each new word to appear. He then says "Did you get all That?" with the default option of "No". You must then take five monies and find a small, unremarkable looking shop without a map, and but an unremarkable item. Then, take that item back to the guy, who is now wandering around the town. Once he gets it, he sends you back into the forest to get the Swamp Sword. You reenter the forest. Once you find the swamp (without a map and an idea of where to go) the camera changes to First Person. The swamp has PLENTY of Platforming. The monsters suddenly turn super-strong and kill you in two hits. You cannot heal. If you die, you get sent back to the town. If the game autosaves at a point where you're, say, about to fall off a ledge and die, you will respawn at THAT EXACT SOON-TO-DIE POINT for infinity. You reach the center of the swamp and must dive underwater. You have limited oxygen, but no meter to show you it and no audio cues or anything. The time you can spend underwater ranges from 5 seconds to a minute. Anywhere between there. And you don't begin to swim back up to the surface. No, you just die right there. And respawn back at the town.

To be continued.

Rage
the game takes place in a volcano
as soon as you start the game you fall in lava and die, there is no avoiding this
you simply bought the game cause of the cool lava effects and the countless trailers you say taking place in other beautiful locations which have been stripped from the game

it's just simply you falling to your death in a pit of lava enjoying lava physics that the company made a special engine for.

>>48088167
I have connection drops every 10 minutes, I WOULD FUCKING RAGE SO HARDDDDDD.

-Your cousin keeps on calling you to go bowling every five minutes. ~If you refuse some times in a row, his friendship meter will drop and you won't be able to drive his car anymore or complete the game 100%.

>>48090901

I'd buy it.

>>48088552
Sounds like Activision have done their bit/

-When on a rooftop, you will (most times) fall through it and then keep on falling into nothing for 1 minute. Then you lose all your HP, only because the developers are awful.
-Some missions are nothing but 'go, find, kill, kill, kill, go, find, kill, kill, kill'.

>>48091285

You mean MW2?

>>48088940
Unless you buy 10 different pieces of DLC. 50 if you want every copy to work.

-You must play RAGE at least once every 8 hours or it will delete your save (and because of a "glitch" in the game it will also delete all other saves from other games too).

>>48091070
I've fucking hated roman since the very beginning...

>>48090896

If you make it through the underwater portion, you reach the Swamp Totem. Activating it causes a door to open in remote part above water in the swamp, back by the entrance. You have a short amount of time to swim back up to the surface and backtrack to the beginning of the level. Also, the lever opens up trapdoors, causing instant-death jellyfish that are faster than you that home in on you to overpopulate the water. Once you head through that door back at the surface, you meet a person named Kurikurigamakuful. She is extremely fugly, and has cat ears and a cattail. She spouts off internet memes. She has a very high-pitched voice and will shriek loudly if she is TOUCHED by ANYTHING. Even if your character bumps into her. You will be escorting her for the remainder of the game. After meeting her, you see the Swamp boss, who is just a large version of the one enemy you have been facing. He spits out 100 smaller enemies that all go for Kurikurigamakuful. If one enemy hits her, she dies, and you respawn back at the town. Everytime you kill a small enemy, the Boss replenishes his HP by 20% and releases another small enemy. The only way to beat him is to walk around behind him (where Kurikurigamakuful will not follow, so she can stand there and get raped by enemies) and climb on his back to stab his eyes. You must do this three times. After the third, you must survive for ten minutes as he bleeds out. Once he dies, you still have to kill all of the little enemies on the field. The entire battle takes place on a "see-saw" circular platform, with weight unfluenced by Kurikurigamakuful and the little monsters. If five or more monsters are on one side with Kurikurigamakuful, the platform tilts JUST ENOUGH so that you cannot climb up to get behind the Boss.

To be continued.

-Talking/using and shooting in the same button.
-Killing/destroying an important npc/object makes you fail your mission.

-in RAGE, the first boss later comes back and turns out to be the final boss which is an hour walk and a 15-min unskippable cutscene away from the autosafe, and behind a corridor filled with flying horrors and uses exactly the same attacks and tactics as the first time you fought him, but kills you in one hit
-Once you've beaten the final boss and used all your medkits and ammo, he reveals he has a SUPER MODE IN WHICH HE CAN MULTIPLY HIMSELF AND SUMMON FLYING, KILLING, BULLET-IMMUNE, UNDER WATER ESCORTING, DEADLY, BLOODTHIRSTY FLYING ENEMIES
-In RAGE, once you beat the last boss, it turns out the princess you had saved was actually purple piece of shit monster that loves you in disguise. The princess was actually still at home but FORGOT TO FUCKING TELL YOU SHE WASNT KIDNAPPED WHILE YOU WENT TROUGH HELL TO FUCKING SAVE HER, MAKING THE ENTIRE GAME FUCKING USELESS FUCK YOU MARIO & LUIGI SUPER STAR SAGA FFFF
-RAGE has Twilight references in the ending video
-RAGE has a prologue, but it's day 1 DLC

-In RAGE, YOU MAKE AN ENTIRE FUCKAWESOME POST ABOUT RAGING BUT THEN THE FIELD IS TOO LONG AND YOUR ENTIRE POST IS ERASED AND YOU ONLY REMEMBER THE LAST PART FFFF


FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>-To save the game you must press all buttons at once in rhythm with whatever music is playing at the time.
>-All music is written by Aphex Twin.

fffffffffffff

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit
ARCHIVE NOW

>>48091725
Congrats, your request has just triggered the archival process for thread 48087789

>>48091590
>>48091590
Sometimes it overlaps 2 or more songs due to glitching.

>>48091556
Twilight references? Let's kick it up a notch and say Twilight TRIVIA. Failure to answer any question will erase your save files because the game cannot process people who do not know about Twilight. Everybody is a fan(According to the game)

>>48091486

Once you beat the boss, he falls down to hard and you must RACE out of the temple and swamp or else you die. Kurikurigamakuful follows you, but at a single speed. That speed is faster than your walking speed and slower than your running speed. You cannot slightly tilt the analog stick to go her speed. If you go too far ahead of her/slip too far behind, she gets killed by a weak monster and you fail the mission, and respawn back at the town. Once you get to the door that shut behind you (the one that you opened up underwater) you must go through several quicktime events to open it. Think the hijacks in Mercenaries 2. This sequence is completley random, so you cannot memorize it. The buttons change halfway in between their 1/4-of-a-second-appearance. The lazy programmers forgot to make "Start", "Select" and "Xbox Guide/PS3 Equivalent" button not on the quicktime button list. So if, lets say, the "Start" button comes up, the game will pause when you press it instead of triggering the quicktime. Then you will die and respawn at the town. The sequence is 35 buttons long, and the clock does not stop during this. Once you open the door and walk through, it shuts again. Now, a SECONDARY clock appears ALONG WITH the timer. So now you have 60 seconds to unlock the door for Kurikurigamakuful WHILE you have 70 seconds to escape the swamp. One that opens, you must First-Person platform your way to the dungeon entrance. Once you do, you temporarily take control of Kurikurigamakuful and must do it again. The mission is only complete when both you and Kurikurigamakuful are standing in the two-pixel wide "finish" zone that is not designated by anything other than the general area of the exit. You have no influence over Kurikurigamakuful's movements anymore.

To be continued.

>>48087789
>-RAGE has autosave, but it autosaves once every hour.

You stole that idea from Mass Effect!

>>48091590

that'd be pretty lush

-RAGE 2 it's announced, it's a MMO.

And the soundtrack? LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR

This thread is awesome and I would [quote]pirate[/quote] the game.

Gentlemen, i believe we have all the information here to create the biggest shit fest of a game....ever.

>>48092510
can't decide whether to laugh or rage

RAGE's final boss is a series of quick time events where if you fail you will go back to the start of the game, also the game will be full of unexpected, .5 reactiontime QTEs.

>>48092510
Just the chorus. Looped.

If you leave your character idle for more than 5 seconds.
a gimp appears from the corner making a high pitch ear raping nose who proceeds to mug you of all your Good items & knock your maximum health dowm by 30 points

>>48092510
You have to sing it while playing or the game will crash.

-RAGE is the sequel of WIN, a little known but critically acclaimed game loved by many gamers.

-RAGE it's hyped for over a year and is actually 5 hours long and has small multiplayer tweaks from it's predecessor: the game.

Guess what is the game

>>48087789

RAGE has a smiler ending like Kotor 2 and Borderlands. Final boss is an unoriginal boss with obvious weak-points.

>>48092984
I lol'd

IF you completed the mission, you return to the town with Kurikurigamakuful. The guy who you talked to earlier, who told you about the town, does tells the same thing to Kurikurigamakuful using the same "Press the button for the next word" method, complete with the "Did you get that?" option on "No." Then you must look around town for an Inn so you can heal your health (which still has only two hits on it, so you are probably at 1 HP). Once you reach the inn, there is a quicktime event to dodge an arrow someone shot at you. If you do not dodge it, you respawn back at the town...

...at the point BEFORE you beat the swamp dungeon. If you did doge the arrow, you must now fight off seven archers who can attack you from infinity miles away, while you must battle them with your fists. You have 1HP. You can do only 1 Damage to their 55 HP each. Keep in mind that you must also defend the equally-as-weak-but-cannot-even-attack-run-or-hide Kurikurigamakuful. Only after you beat them do you enter the Inn to heal, but the Innkeeper has run out of Healing stuff. You must look all over the town for an item that is a solid black color and as big as your character's shoe. It is hidden inside a barrel, and you must open every single one ofthe 1,545 barrels in the town for it, because it only appears in a random barrel after you've checked every one. So while you are looking inside the very-very-dark brown of each barrel AGAIN, you must move a cursor over the 4x4 pixel item you need, which blends in with the barrel's color perfectly. You must then slowly carry it with both hands or else you drop it. While you're slowly walking, Kurikurigamakuful tells you the story of her life. She has suddenly learned how to sprint super fast. If you fall behind, she nonstop shrieks "HURRY UP LET'S GO" until you come within three pixels of her.

I would continue it, but now I need to go to work. I'll finish this up later. Bye.

Half way into the game you go into a secret base held by your enemy

Their are Automated turrets everywhere. some of them are stealthed, some shoot fire, rockets, etc

Their are several locked doors with keypads...in order to enter the code you must carefully move your crosshair over the button, and press the action key...The code is exactly 23 letters long, but can also include numbers, and is caps lock sensitive.

In orrder to find the codes themselves you must complete a timed slow motion quick time event...failing it forces you to restart the level.

you then find a small note containing every single code in the level, in a random order...you have 10 seconds you read it before your character drops it facedown on the floor

Single player is spammed with ancient and unfunny /b/ memes(Candlejack, Who was fone, etc.)

Multiplayer gives you fucking POP-UPS linking you to /v/.

>>48092510

It copies that part from VVVVVV that begins with veni vidi vici
God, do I want to punch the fucker in the face

No matter how hard you try you can never headshot an enemy, but there is an acheivment for 100 headshots.

A mini boss that takes 250 Shotgun shells to the face, and respawning minions that buttfuck you at every angle. Repeat this in every level, twice. AKA Dreamkiller on hard.

RAGE contains an achievement that requires you to send the developer 50 dollars to unlock.

The developer is Activision.

RAGE The Game is a prequel to the upcoming movie RAGE

RAGE: MULTIPLAYER's Servers are all located in China

Everyone who plays the game is all sent to the same world wide server

The servers and maps only have limited playerspace...if you join a full server you must spectate one random person for at least 30 mins before the game allows you to reconnect to another level

Half the chatbox / voicechat is spammed with Either brazillian "BR? U GIBE AMMO PLZ? HUEHUAEHUAHUE" OR Little white american kids screaming 4chan memes, calling you gay. calling your mother gay. calling your father gay, and telling you you're a camping fagget noob

RAGE has matchmaking.

Rage the game is talked about on /v/ for 6 straight months like its the second coming of jesus


making a thread based on anything OTHER than the game is regarded as trolling. and you can be banned

>>48094019

Directed, Written, Produced, and Starring Michael Bay

>"Rage makes $900,000,000, it's opening weekend."

>>48094496
And pic related and Shia Lebouf are the main characters

>>48094674
don't forget the antagonist

>>48094674
>>48094496
I'll take 10 copies!

>>48094811
and his trusty sidekick Antagonizer

pff easy:
RAGE needs online activation. the servers are down permanently.

The game comes with a midget that punches you in the balls every five seconds while you're playing.

- The console versions of RAGE require a mouse for movement and a controller for aiming.

precisely a month after RAGE's release, RAGE II: Operation Shitstorm is announced.