typical Sunday

in b4 CNN

udidwut?

Wasn't there a mod, like, this morning?

>>41887055

>faping inside pants
>cum in pants
>cum starts to drift down the legs
>mother recognize the cum smell
>one month without playing halo 3 for punishment

>>41887055
on the plus side you got double digits

>>41887194

Hmm? No that was a goat.

>>41887228
>>getting punished for masturbating
dude, your mom ain't a bro

>>41887055
Kumai!!

>>41887228
wouldn't making you play halo 3 for a month be more of a punishment?

>playing wii of my sister
>only shit games
>she came into room yelling at me
>she is excited with a new game
>i spy her
>its a game of nursuring babies
>she starts masturbating while playing

>>41887228
>Fapping in front/near your mother

lol omG EpIC wiN OP loolll lulz hahaha awsum fake story lolol u so fenneee funny lol

>this thread

>>41887362
>Ohsnap.jpg

>playing halo 3
>get a boner when master chief speaks

>playing gears of war 2
>mom enters the room
>she glares at a cutscene between marcus and cole
>she keep quiet for a moment while doing her things
>before leaving she tells me to have a talk with my father about going after a girlfriend

>playing CoD4
>finally beat game on veteran
>call my mom in to show her how cool i am

/v/ - The Vidya: Xbox Edition

>playing forza 3
>everything is going better than expected
>suddenly games pause
>looks like a freeze
>i restart xbox
>rrod

>one week until halo 3 comes out
>360 RRoDs
>fuck waiting, buys a new 360

lololol ass pain hurt butt lolol sage reported

in b4 morgan freeman

>>41887428
>playing wii of my sister

>>41887228
>>>>>>>mother recognize the cum smell

make her ate it

>playing Madden 10
>realize i have crap taste in games

>fart and accidently shit your pants a lot
>dog comes in
>lower my pants
>dog licks it out of my pants and asshole

>BR?

>this thread

THIS THREAD IS AMAZING

>starts playing wow
>getting myself confortable knowing there is a lot of people who plays the game
>realizing the game is shit and boring
>coulda have spent the money into hentai magazines

>this thread

>pirating spore 90% downloaded
>read comments in the torrent site
>guys says it is missing a file
>everyone complaining
>no response from the poster
>feels good

>cant leave computer because of second life event
>shit into a bucket
>dog eats shit and then licks my face

>>41889010

>second life event

WHAT

Humanity is doomed.

>>41889010
you can't say "hey, I have to go take a shit"?

this thread is fucking hilarious

>playing Fallout 3
>kill every woman i see and dismember them
>mom has been watching me for past 20 minutes

>>41889489

AHAHAHAHA

>playing halo 3
>get sniper rife
>accidentally a whole coke

Only the euromods have the balls to ban the faggots making these threads. America has failed.

hey guys this might sound kind of dumb but can someone post that picture of that nasty fat asian kid who has a girlfriend that was being spammed a lot

it was like 3 or 4 pics montage, and one where he gives this mean look into the camera

BUMP

>playing pokemon platinum
>only member of party is a bibarrel
>give return to him and grind a little
>ending the game with only return
>regreting the 30 hours spended into this shit

>>41890266

ahahahhaha

>>41889511
>>41890293
AHAHAHA

>>41890406

AHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHHA

>>41890842
lol'd slightly

>>41890842
>>41890406
>>41890293
>>41889511

HUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUEHUE

Sure is samefag in here.

>>41891024
this anon is right

>>41887228

>cum smell

Seriously what the fuck?

>>41891059
I totally agree with this anonymous poster

>>41891205

for me and him are not the same

>>41891249
>>41891205
>>41891059
>>41891024
those four gentlemen are definitely not the same homosexual person

no guys, seriously. what the fuck is "second life event"?

>go take a bath because fart turned out to be shit
>realizing the pants absorbed and crystalized the shit into the cottom
>abort the bath and go back play fallout 3

>>41891175
underage b&

>>41891481

Hulk Hogan.

>>41889489

>Kill everyone in Tenpenny Tower
>Cut them into pieces and put each piece in a specific pile, the severed heads on the front desk, always there to greet you.
>Be happy you live alone so no one knows you do this.

>>41887649
Best depiction of /v/ AND /g/

>>41891739
but they dissapear after 2 weeks

>Playing World in Conflict
>Mom brings home KFC
>Fried Chicken brain in KFC
>USSR fires two nukes
>Eat fried chicken brain without realizing
>Chop balls off
>Turn into a jet
>Bomb the Russians
>Fly Into the Sun
>Now im dead

>sit on toilet pooping while reading EGM
>didn't wipe last time you pooped
>crap melds with pubes to create ass-pube net
>shoot out enormous crap log
>crap log gets stuck in ass-pube net

>>41891739
What the fuck man?

>>41891873
learn to wipe your dangleberries you dirty mother fucker.

>>41891873
Sounds bonerific

>>41891823

>>41891873
lolwut

>Wake up
>Browse /v/
>Go to bed

>playing fallout 3 with nude mod on
>get a boner while perving
>step sister walks in
>asks if she can play
>sits on my cock and starts grinding against me while she plays

>>41891873
you are not alone...sadly

>piss in bottles and glasses to save time and be lazy
>get stoned with brother
>brother drinks "apple juice" by accident

sadly this is probably the best thread on 4chan right now

>download nude alyx mod for half life 2
>friend plays half life 2
>never played b4 so he just thought it was a mature game
>threat adverted
>week later he tells my fellow gamer friend about his first time playing half life 2 at my house and mentions nude chick
>friend smirks knowing exactly wat mod it is cause he has it too
>threat adverted twice

>>41892393
>by accident
totally bro

>go to store
>crush every bag of chips and crushable foods there is
>manager comes out
>slips and falls from the shit i took in the isle
>covered in shit
>realize hes beautiful and a girl
>make out
>marry and have children
>children die from eating too much sand

>>41887055

>>41892257
....

how old is she?

>>41892638
Age is not important in that case

>>41892468

>take the SAT
>get a 590, 450, and 490
>think you did horrible
>take it again 4 months later
>cant concentrate because chinks are talking
>nothing is done by instructor
>get a 380, 360, and 470

>>41892751
15 year old sister :D
18 year old sister :)
30 year old sister :|
8 year old sister >:3

>>41892468

Glorious!

>See ad for cock fighting
>Enter hoping for first gay experience
>Get cock torn to pieces by cock
>Clock the cock, suck cock to get coke
>Choke on coke in front of cock
>Cock coats cock in coke
>Choke coke cock for clocked cock
>Have first gay experience

>get invited by friend to sleep at his house because he bought fifa 10
>playing a little with him
>he tells he is gonna take a shit
>he shits at the side of the bed
>he tells me not to be worried it is a common practice in his family
>i grab the fifa 10 midia and run away

sage

>>41888648

bump for greatness

>>41892912
LOL 2 BAD. I got a 610 Writing, 690 Reading and 700 Math. On.The.First.Try.

>This thread

>need to take a shit
>trash can is full
>finally find an empty KFC bucket

>>41893445
is that the dude from Silversun Pickups???

this thread is incredible. bump because it needs to be in the first page

>>41893427

770 each in reading and math.

No writing section back in the day.

>>41893427
and it was irrelevant.

...
I'm disapoint.

>>41893216

>playing wow
>farted a little
>rub hand in anus to see if its ok
>sniff hand
>its somewhat ok
>continue playing
>mom needs to use pc
>mom asks why there is shit in mouse

>this fucking thread

>>41889489
>mom has been watching me for past 20 minutes

>go outside
>get raped in the ass by a random stranger
>go home, take a massive shit
>completely miss the toilet
>mom walks in and goes WHAT THE FUCK!?
>feel ashamed
>guy friends shun you for taking it in the ass
>girls comfort you
>become a faggot

>>41887055
>>41887228
>>41887428
>>41887649
>>41887812
>>41887857
>>41888307
>and so on...

>getting paid to make a showroom site
>copy the design and code from other site
>only change the logo
>put a hidden link to a goatse
>i finally made my own easter egg

>go to gamespot
>buy video game
>driving home i fall asleep at wheel
>hit and kill 12 people
>make it home and play gta
>people posing as police break in and rape me

>drug dealer pissed over 60 bucks
>i have a check
>banks are closed
>chug robitussin

>playing farcry 2
>killing niggers
>realizing they are not at all bad, they are misslead and manipulated into going into civil war and guerrilla by white people from europe
>get back shot
>realizing it is a nigger
>emptying my mini gun into his chest

>feel shit brewing up in my stomach
>run to the bathroom
>take a shit
>no toilet paper
>scoop shit out of asscrack with my hand
>go to wash hands
>no soap

gokusen, i approve

>Deciding to play practical joke on friend
>Begin to take a large shit in friends Subway sandwich
>Friend has cold and doesn't realize smell
>Finishes Subway sandwich

>Take a shit while taking a shower
>Diarrhea comes out
>Throw up all over bathtub
>Walk out
>It's a public shower

>Play Halo 3
>Masturbate furiously to Cortana
>Sister walks into room
>Take bucket of blue/light blue paint
>Smear it all over her face
>Rip off her clothes
>Pour paint over naked body
>She starts crying
>Ignore it and start mounting and thrusting my cock into her violently while wearing a makeshift Master Chief mask.

>go on /v/ earlier today
>see that mods actually are banning idiots who post these threads
>go on /v/ now
>see this thread

>peeking my mother at bath
>fap a little
>father is behind
>he is faping

>>41894690
>>41894614
>>41894566
Shitmind

Seriously, are all of you guys retarded about taking shits? In tons of these threads on every board there are dumbasses shitting in the shower or pissing/shitting in containers so they don't have to stop what they're doing. SHIT IN THE TOILET, FLUSH AFTERWARDS, WASH YOUR GODDAMN HANDS.

This is why so many of you fucks are virgins, god damn.

>>41894838
>washing hands after using the bathroom

>>41887329
I THOUGHT HE LOOKED FAMILIAR

>>41894838
>playing wow
>24 hour marathon
>havnt shit since the beginning
>hold it in so long that ps3 has no games

If you hold a shit long enough, it can be compressed into a black hole and kill everything on earth.
No lie.

>>41894725

>>41894982
It's true, I did it once on my home planet of Haroho. Now I'm here.

This thread is about shit

absolutely fantastic thread

>>41895066
Erm, not entirely: >>41894725

>>41894811

>>41887428
That's pretty hot bro.

>playing crysis
>go out in the garden to take a shit
>start digging a hole to put the shit
>finding a ps3 buried
>it is still good
>turn on the thing
>no games

I don't know if it's because I'm stoned and coked up but I haven't laughed this hard at a thread in a while.

Continue or I will derail it.

>Order Pizza
>Pizza guy arrives naked
>Open box
>Full of shit
>Lick organelles on cock
>Have 3 kids and a chevvy cheese steak

>fucking my mom, about to cum
>pull out before I get pregnant son
>cum inside her vagina regardless

>>41895249
You and me both.

>get absorbed into a game of c&c
>so absorbed that pants are full of shit when done playing
>throw them neighbor's pool
>cops show up at their house 30 minutes later
>they ask me if i saw anything
>tell them it was some group of teenagers
>read paper the next day
>prom is canceled

>>41895249
>go to museum for school fieldtrip
>notice the fresco paintings
>fresco with my own shit yelling I AM THE KING OF QUEENS
>get escorted out
>smear shit all over inside of cop car
>get pepper sprayed
>smear shit all over self, Police men won't want to touch me

>>41895249
You just posted with your trip.
You derailed it.

Why don't you ever get in the /v/ chat anymore?

>>41895249
>Day mods actually come on to /v/
>Lanced Jack comes back

>>41895316
Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

>Look at my dog
>Looks at me, horny
>Pick up my dog
>Slam him down on my cock and start raping him furiously
>He moans and shits on my cock
>I continue until I come
>Dog runs away
>Mom walks in room

This thread, it's like I'm really in Poland...

>>41895322
Oh my.

>>41895344
>Why don't you ever get in the /v/ chat anymore?

I'm only awake at this time (4:30am) because I have an exam at 9am and if I go to sleep I know for a fact I will not be able to wake up before 1 in the afternoon. My best bet is to stay up until it's time to go.

I am in the chat now.

>have a boner
>decide to shove needle down my dick
>shit myself
>sister walks in
>shits herself
>fuck her with my shit covered needle dick

>browsing /v/
>see a few potentially good threads with no posts
>see this one with no posts
>come back an hour later
>potentially good threads are gone
>this thread has 100+ replies

fuck you /v/

>>41895488
My my my, look who decided to show up after all this time.

>>41895488
Who are you?

>>41895547
Protip: That's not the real Jack. But I wouldn't expect a tripfag to realize that.

>>41895519

>>41895488
You are not the Lack I know.

>>41895554
One of the most infamous /v/ tripfags of all time. He left for a while, and several people have tried to assume his name, but in the end, there's only one Lanced Jack.

>>41895554

>go to gay bar
>stick dick in glory hole at men's room
>get caught by bar owner
>orgy in his office
>get home
>forgot to buy milk

>>41895524
No, LOVE YOU /v/

>>41895611
Oh, any reason I should care?

>>41895576
I wouldn't expect myself to either. There are some very dedicated samefags out there. Or maybe I'm too thick to notice the obvious samefagging going on. Eh.

>stomache cramps
>realize stomache doesnt digest plastic
>mother comes in asking questions
>i throw a checker piece at her
>knocked out mom
>call the police
>steal xbox
>get arrested for fraud and grand theft

>>41895595
>>41895576
>>41895554
>>41895547

tsun tsun~ :3

>>41895636
None at all. Just browse and admire vidya.

This thread is about greentext and shit.

>Playing Super Mario Bros. 2 player with my cousin when we were 5.
>Purposely die so cousin gets his turn
>Tell him I'm going to the bathroom
>Go jack off the dog and lick it's ass

video games

>browsing /v/
>thread about shit
>have to shit
>shit on my desk
>gets on keyboard

>>41895764
SHIT ON DEBRA'S DESK
(LIKE A BOSS)

This thread is a load of crap.

>153 posts and 64 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

A bunch of kids.

>wake up
>get blown
>play games
>have snack
>more games
>take nap
>ed edd and eddy movie
>go to wendys
>4chans

that has been my sunday so far, i am going to

>shit in the toilet
>go to bed

>play mario party wii with sister
>stick wiimote into her ass and nunchuk into vagina
>force cock down her throat
>beat the cpus at minigame
>cum on her tits for reward

>Talking to a girl
>Suddenly realise IT WAS A FUCKING BEAR

>ask piano teacher if i can use her bathroom
>she says its ok but the toilet is with some problems
>i take the risk and sit on toilet
>an explosive diarrhea paints all the insides of the toilet with little particles of shit
>toilet is broken
>no paper
>clean my ass in the walls
>throw pomes stone into window and escape from her house

>Smoke some weed
>Stumble upon this thread before playing some games.
>Almost piss self with uncontrollable laughter

>>41895973
lol

I wish to hear more of these stories.

>Fapping, about to cum
>Take a shit all over the place
>Notice tortilla chips
>Scoop up hot steamy shit with tortilla chip
>Eat some
>Sister walks in, wants some hot tortilla chip shit pile
>makes a disgusted face
>chips are stale

Thread of the year