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09/06/09(Sun)22:44 No.37377237 File1252291460.jpg-(427 KB, 827x623, Boktai-cartridge.jpg)
Hey, wow, there are all these awesome frames for the Solar Gun! Yeah, and the menu for changing them is shit.
Hey!
We can fight our way, or be sneaky about it! Only the game rates you
better for not killing enemies and not grabbing attention. Also,
fighting entails the need to recharge your battery, which lowers your
score even further.
Hey! Let's make some co-op modes! Sure! And
let's seal a good portion of the frames so that they can only be
unlocked when using some kind of multiplayer mode! Way to keep gamer
content away from us--and this was before Microtransactions came around!
Django
walks slower than my grandpa, which is a pain in the ass. Any puzzle
involving mirrors and cocatrices is hell, and the solar sensor hinders
playing at night or any other time that isn't Puerto Rican Sun Hell.
Oh, and if you DO play in the sunlight, the LED crystals in the screen
start clouding over. It's impossible to see anything anyway, even on a
DS, seeing as all you get is glare on your screen from the goddamned
SUN.
And the story. Oh, god, how many people DIDN'T think that Sabata was Django's brother. What the hell, Kojima? I don't know what's worse, your obsession with NANOMACHINES or your fetish for twins.
[Spoiler]And
yet, I love this game with all my heart...I was so sad when I heard
that Boktai 3 would never come to the U.S. Boktai 1 is in my DS right
now... |