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01/16/11(Sun)18:40 No.3605630>>3605537
I was talking to a friend's little girl, and she said she wanted to have affordable, universal healthcare some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were in their house getting ready to canvass for Obama, so I asked her, 'If you were President, how would you propose we pay for this?'
She replied, 'First, I'd repeal the Bush tax cuts and close corporate taxation loopholes that have allowed big businesses to pay essentially zero tax on their profits and end their outsourcing of American jobs to keep our economy strong. Next, I would cut America's defense spending by 20%, which would still allow us to have the most advanced, modernized military in the world while adding over $180 billion dollars to the federal budget. I would also nationalize health insurance to cover the basic essentials for every citizen, reducing the bargaining power that pharmaceuticals have and bringing our cost per capita down to OECD standards; private insurers would be left to sell supplemental insurance for procedures or experimental medicines that aren’t deemed necessities by government standards. Lastly, I would return our troops from Afghanistan and Iraq in a responsible and timely manner, returning more than $8.4 billion dollars a month to the federal coffers. Taken together, all of these things would allow America to implement this much needed social reform.'
Then I punched her in the face, because I had absolutely no logical refutation of her points. She ran inside to her parents, crying, and streaming a trail of blood behind her. I chuckled as I thought of the healthcare bills her parents would face to repair her broken nose.
I called after her and said, "Welcome to the Republican Party, sweetheart."
-Sean Hannity before his re-imagining of the events |
