11. Once you've got one talking, flirt. Corny flirting WORKS. The most important part is anything you say (that isn't chan-worthy material) will come off friendly and cheeky if you smile and laugh at their expression.

12. When you think she's ready to fuck, ask her what she thinks of the party: if she doesn't like, say it isn't bad, leave it for a second, then ask if she wants to go somewhere else. If she's neutral, take a gamble: say it sucks. If she agrees, ask her if she wants to go somewhere else. If she likes the party, say you like it too. Pause for a second, then ask if she wants to go upstairs/bedroom etc.

13. Don't go for drunk girls. Yeah, it's tempting, but other people see it and you get a bad reputation (and a bad reputation is the worst cockblocker of all). If a drunk girl comes on to you, don't think jackpot. Help her lie down, talk with her, don't do anything more than kiss. Make sure you get her number in her drunkenness, and call her the next day to ask how she's feeling. As soon as you feel yourself getting friendzoned (I mean as soon as you suspect she's grateful you looked out for her as a friend) let her know you "kinda really like her".

14. Posture. Back straight, shoulders back. Hunching makes you look less confident and shoulders back smooths out your stomach.

15. Dancing: the goal is not to out-dance them. You should try to get their attention, make eye contact, move around a bit, and if she comes over to you, lay the attention on her - only has to be for about 30 seconds, but let her show off. Then go to sit down and wave her over.

16. Compliment her; something that doesn't seem really obvious - like maybe say she has a nice face. Not a really overt compliment, those come off creepy. Just a friendly "you look good". If she returns the compliment specifically (I like your hair, nice shirt, etc) GENUINE SMILE and sit near her and talk!. If she sort-of blows you off or just thanks you, probably don't stand much chance anyway.

17. In the course of your talking, if she says something hot/amazing/clever/beautiful/something you can pretend is one of those, say that to her, then kiss her. I'm serious, it's fucking scary to do, but if she's talking to you and smiling about it, making eye contact, she's almost thinking about kissing you.
eg. "That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. *kiss*". Hold the kiss for a second (no more! don't give her time to think it's a bad idea), then pull back slowly - if she comes back to your mouth, go for fucking gold son. If she doesn't, act really embarassed and apologise. That may score pity love, but if not it just smoothes that over and you can go after another girl or go home (I suggest try two girls a party tops because getting shot down wrecks your confidence for the next try).

18. If you're kissing and you want to escalate to sex: tease! Trace your finger lightly up and down her thigh, put your arm around her and pull her closer, kiss other parts of her face, try anything. If she doesn't mind your tongue in her mouth she'll be okay with your hands on her, as long as it isn't groping.

19. "Nice guys don't get any" is wrong. Nice guys who don't make it obvious they want some don't get any. Be nice and insinuate (cheekily) that you would like to get jiggy with it at the same time.

20. Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact. Make sure to look them in the eyes when you meet and when you say something important. And if you're "in"ish, a lingering gaze on each others eyes can seal the deal.

END.

/v/ - Dating advice

>>30751746

>cockmongler

next write a 20 point guide to how I should go about giving a flying fuck about a social life, sex or reading this thread

my problem is I'm so honest and caring most people think I'm AUTISTIC. Sorry you cunts I'm not going to lie and say I make over 9000000 dollars a year and can beat up 10 negroes so you can throw that shit back in my face when you eventually cheat on me...

Why are you posting this on /v/? YOU need to get a social life. Faggot.

ITT advice for highschool and college kids. Look, if you're in highschool or college, and need help getting laid, fucking kill yourself.

It's around 25 when things go south, and none of this shit helps anymore.

Read THE GAME by Neil Strauss

READ The Venusian Arts Handbook by Mystery

OH BOY I LOVE THREADS RELATED TO VIDEO GAMES

>>30751746
>>30751762
>>30751786
IMPOSSIBLE!

>>30751786
>get jiggy with it
Written 4 nerds, by nerds.

Then Johnny committed suicide when the advice of an anonymous troll didn't work and, in fact, made his life worse. How do I know this? Johnny was dancing last night between the pigs and the harpies with his head hanging like those goth kids.

How to get a social life? Who gives a fuck? Did I ever need a social life? I scared the shit out of people. Do you scare the shit out of people? Well then, you're doing a good job.

Do something meaningful in life. A social life doesn't matter. If you can contribute in life in even a minor fashion it was a life worth living. Enjoy yourself and don't be a fag like OP who seems to lower himself to the standards of others in a pitiful attempt to sway their superficial opinions on the matter.

Be fucking awesome. The perks come with it.

Durr

>Once you've got one talking, flirt. Corny flirting WORKS. The most important part is anything you say (that isn't chan-worthy material) will come off friendly and cheeky if you smile and laugh at their expression.
Completely true. Women are not as smart and clever as they are on TV. Stupid lines actually do work for the most part unless the woman just isn't looking to hook up. If she is remotely interested she will take what you think is fucking lame and roll with it.

OP is not a bad guy he's just trying to help

Had no idea hair could be considered "fatty".

1. Sage
2. Keep saging
3. Never fucking stop saging

hey how do i convince a girl to come with me to a music festival

>>30752011
this anon is full of win

Honestly-it's likely to late for most of /v/

Yes you can improve and become socially successful but it's much easier when you're younger(teens).

Much harder when you're 20+ and working rather than in a highly sociable environment such as school.

However if you're happy not being social then keep on being happy.

Social lives are nice yes but != happiness. Realize in the harsh and bitter reality the only reason people have social circles is for their own personal gain-not yours. Everyone else sees everyone as a means rather than an ends.

Thus I can completely respect people for rejecting being social.

Want to become social? Well then. You need to stop lying to yourself. You have to stop lying to yourself. Look at you as a person. Are you interesting? What makes people (not)want to be around you?

Also look at the people around you that piss you off or you find annoying. Just why are they annoying? Make sure you don't possess any of their traits(loud, attentionwhore, lairs, bipolar, bitchy, talk to much, etc, etc).

>>30751938
Honestly the only thing you should read that shit for is entertainment.

Mystery Method is outdone trash-if you attempt to use it you are very likely to be called out.

I have friends. I don't need to conform to your shitty list.

>Only lonely faggots like you listen to this noisy e-guitar shit

I stopped reading there. Chav scum detected

GET. THE. FUCK. OUT.

>>30751908
I think OP's advice is for getting laid not getting a girlfriend. Make out/Fuck then go home.

>>30752261

You listen to crappy ass music.

Go listen to some lady gaga

>>30751927
Most everyone on 4chan is between the ages of 16(faggots) and 24. If you are still here past that, you have issues.

I'm unkempt, have long(ish) hair, Listen to nothing but metal and do little of anything mentioned there. Here I am though,engaged and in a relationship that's been going on for over 3 years

If you need to change yourself for a woman, then that woman isn't worth it. Most of this advise is shit anyway. Be yourself (most of you, atleast) and maybe go out once in a while and you'll do fine.

>>30752340
>implying that lady gaga is good music

>>30752125
Ask her. If she likes the group she won't pass up free tickets even if she has no interest in you. Work from there.

>>30752346
According to Alexa stats, the average age of 4chan users is 28. You do the math. Maybe it's just /v/ that has a lot of kids.

>>30751938
No, fuck that The Game shit. That's the kind of garbage kids in 10th grade think is cool. I know, because back then I had this friend who was into that shit so hard it hurt. Guess what? He got friendzoned by fucking every girl ever and is a virgin to this date.

OP advice is much better because you won't come off looking like a fucking sex maniac.

>>30752374
See unlike /v/ you're probably a pretty chill dude and can get by with the 'be yourself.'

Most of /v/ is cynical, sarcastic, antisocial bastards.

The whole 'be yourself'=set sail for fail

>>30752340
Noted transsexual performer Lady Gaga.

hey how do i convince a girl to come with me to the movies?

>>30752340
>Go listen to some lady gaga

>>30752346
oh fuck 1 year left!

hey.. fuck you OP. First off, everyone listens to their own type of music. .. if we all listened to the same shit what would be the point.. Here's a tip for you FUCK off.

>>30752568
> surprised.jpg

>>30752228
Its funny. I am not very social by choice or just a stigma I built from a young age when I was fat and uncool. Now EVERY person I meet absolutely loves me but they have to put in the effort to know me as a person. If it were left up to me, I would have no friends. This is why the only girlfriend I ever had asked me out instead of the other way around. I will take OP's advice and try it next time I go out to a party. I could be the most popular person around being attractive and funny, I just need to know how to show the effort.

>>30752488
Most of my time is spent in the house these days, playing the vidya. Just got lucky and met her at a party for a friends 18th.

Great things happen in unexpected places, my friends!

That was the most retarded shit i have ever read.
Also notvideogamesnotvideogamesnotvideogames.

>>Only lonely faggots like you listen to this noisy e-guitar shit

You're right! THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME SEE THE LIGHT.

brb gonna listen to a bunch of dumb niggers shout with no tune about pimpin bitches, hoes and the size of their dicks.

>>30751746
oh you

The problem is that you guys overthink this sort of thing. Just try to be natural and relaxed, that's the most important part. Wear clothes that 1) you feel comfortable in and 2) that look nice. Don't be scared to talk to people, but just know enough not to be creepy about it.

BE NATURAL, GUYS! RELAXED IS THE WAY TO GO!

>>30752011
>Do something meaningful in life.
>If you can contribute in life in even a minor fashion it was a life worth living.

would this require leaving my computer chair?

GTFO OP I DON'T WANT YOUR LIFE

Trying hard at being popular is pathetic.

All of this advice is solid and works.
Any of you saging or whatever are just butthurt neckbeards with no friends. I mean look at me, I've got a hot girl all thanks to OP's help

video games

>>30752437
>implying that anybody on the internet tells the truth.
Most 4chan users are in college and when we talk about year born in tier list, most people claim to be about 21-18.
Again it could all be a lie.
I for one am only 5.

Talking to others is not video games.

Fuck I have 9/10 things down.

I'm missing listen to decent music. I'll trade "Accept he's not a troll" for it.

Oh wait people do talk to me. Nevermind /v/.

rap=bunch of dumb ass niggers

>>30752696
[spoilers]She's ugly.[/spoilers]

wow this is actually non trol advice incredible considering how much of this shit we nerds get

>>30752340
>Go listen to some lady gaga

Nobody's that desperate.