| >> |
03/30/09(Mon)09:28 No.29279990 
File :1238419724.jpg-(45 KB, 257x257, voctortriska.jpg)
 I
was playing Operation Flashpoint, on a custom mission where you have to
build bases and order vehicles and the like, in order to take over a
100km2 island. For this reason, each team had resources.
However,
due to a blinding lack of foresight or maybe just overoptimism by the
creator, the resources for each of the two teams (Americans vs
Russians) were shared between all the players.
I was commander
of the Americans and couldn't build any resource generating facilities
because every single other player was running around like an idiot
ordering worthless shit and destroying the economy faster than GEARGE BUSH. So I do what any good high-ranking officer would do and shout
"IF YOU DON'T STOP SPENDING OUR MONEY I'M GOING TO EXECUTE YOU"
Not
wanting to sound like I was giving empty threats, I immediately shot
the guy next to me, who was trying to get in an M1A1 Abrams he'd just
bought. Gunfire whizzed past me as he fell to the ground, and I
realised another fiscally-retarded player had panicked and decided to
kill me before I could kill him. Rather than, you know, STOP SPENDING
MONEY.
Of course, some other guy saw THAT guy and assumed he was
blatantly teamkilling for no reason. From there it rapidly snowballed
into an orgy of friendly fire until all 16 American players were having
a free for all in our scattered mockery of a functional base.
10
minutes later the Russian army rolled in with a couple of squads of
T-80 tanks. The Americans cared not, totally commited to the task at
hand. Even as heavy machineguns felled those heroes of
anti-establishmentariasm, as HEAT rounds propelled their revolutionary
corpses high into the sky, their only objective was to bring down as
many other American soldiers as possible.
As I lay flat on top
of a Heavy Factory, surveying the carnage I had begun, the Russian
commander spoke on the global frequency. I'll never forget what he said.
"lol" |
