Sonichu

Is it the guy in the photo? (whoever he is)

>>130581646
Get the fuck out

>>130581646

>>>/reddit/

Oh shit

we should have send him a stripper/hooker

I thought his birthday wasn't until the 24th.

He's become a wizard today, /v/.

His powers will be unimaginable.

>>130581731
Indeed we should have, but we were too late. He is now a wizard.

Don't care, never have, never will, neither should you.

Stop caring about this autistic failure.

>>130581731

Poor woman...

the end is near

HE IS NOW A WIZARD.
RUN FOR THE HILLS.

>>130581504


who

>>130581646
Please god tell me you're trolling. and isn't chris in prison?

Who is he and why do you guys know him?

It's tomorrow you cunt.

anyone got any recent pics?

HE WILL ABUSE THE ARCANE ARTS IN ORDER TO SEEK REVENGE AGAINST TROLLS AND WOMEN WHO HAVE BOYFRIENDS

WE MUST SEEK THE AID OF THE ELDER COUNCIL BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

>>130581646
THAT, my good sir, is The Mistake of God

CWC HAS REACHED WIZARD STATUS?

OH DEAR GOD

>>130581731
That's happened before. Jack Thaddeus ordered a prostitute to his house after his botched date with either Emily or Katie.

The prostitute was, much to Chris' dismay, an obese black woman.

http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Prostitute#Prostitution

Maybe he won't know how to use his wizard powers. His severe autism might prevent him from realizing the power that resides within him

Your a wizard Chris

his birthday is the 24th

whatever the fuck timezone Virginia is.

I repeat: I thought his birthday wasn't until the 24th.

>>130581930
Autists can't ascend to wizardhood. Why do you think succubi are uninterested in them?

>>130581881
>>130581780
>>130581824

>implying Chris' mother didn't rape him and thus he can't be a wizard anymore

That's why he's so fucked up.

>>130581912

>wearing rubber gloves
>while eating shit

>>130581975
TIME
ZONES

>>130581881
NAY

THE ELDER COUNCIL MAY ONLY BE CALLED IN THE MOST DIRE OF TIMES. WE MUST COMBINE OUR POWERS AND WIT AND DEAL WITH THIS THREAT OURSELVES. CALL THE SORCERERS

>>130581969
Where is that from

That is so hot

>>130581937
>an obese black woman

>>130581969

>>130581937
Chris attempted to solicit the services of a Craigslist prostitute to fuck on camera so he could recover his hacked PlayStation Network accounts. After describing his personal problems to the prostitute, she hung up on him.

CWC isn't vidyagaems

>>130582064
IT SURE AS FUCK ISN'T THE 24TH WHERE CWC LIVES.

>Chris Chan is now the boss of the Wizengamot

wait, there is someone on par with Gandalf now?

>implying his shitty imagination is enough to use spells

FUCK SAKE WIZARD STATUS IS NOT AT 30 YOU FUCKING COCK SUCKERS?

HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHITS?

>>130581969
>>130581969
>>130581969

wat

>>130581881
Non-wizard detected. Never mind me, just chilling out with my lich powers and not getting shit from some autist.

>>130582067

my bedroom yesterday morning.

the party got out of hand.

>>130582208
Shit got loose.

>>130582241

30 years worth of decay and despair. Chris would please Papa Nurgle quite a lot.

>>130582241
5/5

>>130582187
I remember a scene where the 'virgin' got the start of a blowjob

>mfw /v/ gets mad because not everyone cares about CWC

I think what you guys do is despicable and the equivilant of pushing peoples wheelchairs over. He's not even someone who deserves it like Hepler. Not to mention this is horrible /b/ shit that isn't "/v/ culture" unless you think anything /b/ brought over is culture.

Come at me, John MADden.

>>130582337
Chris just may be Nurgle's sentient human avatar. When he dies, he'll birth the Chaos Lord into existence in the Warp.

>>130582187
>implying Steve Carrell was actually a 40 year old virgin

>>130582357
He'll create sonichu
his creation, so appalled at it's own existance, will zap to the extreme, destroying all in it's path.

Chris will be first.
Then the rest of homos.

>>130582381
>He's not someone who deserves it

He deserves all of the shit he gets. Why are you on 4chan if you aren't a fan of morbid or sadistic humor?

>>130582403
>implying CWC would die.
He will just slowly transform.

>>130582381
>he's not even someone that deserves it

>>130582187
>comedy movie
>actual depiction of a real life
Whatever faggot, hollywood doesn't know how to create a realistic portrayal of a mans ascent into wizardhood.

>>130582403
Who will be the Star Child?

>>130582465
>/b/tard thinks all of 4chan is /b/
>thinks being autistic is justifcation for torture

Get aload of this newfag!
If I wanted /b/ shit psychotic crap, I'd be on /b/.
Stay mad, LEJIUN! Oh dude please don't send pizzas to my house.

>>130582241

>>130582563
It's like you're not even trying.

his birthday is the 24th
his birthday is the 24th
his birthday is the 24th
his birthday is the 24th
his birthday is the 24th
his birthday is the 24th
his birthday is the 24th
his birthday is the 24th
his birthday is the 24th
his birthday is the 24th

>>130582528
Explain what he has done that is so bad.

Not funny or pathetic but genuinely negative. Hepler ruined several franchises, so theres something for her. Chris is borderline retarded. He knows not what he does.

>Implying he's a wizard

You idiots, don't you remember? He's fucked Julay.

>>130581969
This came to mind

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAOwyzGtVIo

>>130582381
i agree with this post and everything it stands for. fuck this "/v/ culture", acting like a retard inst culture.

>>130582379
Yeah, that's why he never turned into a Wizard.
Shit, the Wizard at age 40 of Virginity has been around YEARS before the movie, it just popularized the thing agian with a couple of throw away lines. But seriously, it's ALWAYS been 40, it's just mid-2011 some 30 year old virgin wanted to feel special so he forced it down to 30 by spamming his shitty "wizard status" picture he made in paint for a couple of month, then he probably offed himself because he realized how retard he was.
>>130582357
It's still at age 40 you piece of shit.

>>130582635
To get you mad? Not really. Just speaking my mind here on /b/ 2.0


It's not like you need to try to piss you guys off. Just go against the grain and a sea of rage awaits thee.

>>130581969

>>130582429
No, but the movie popularized the idea of turning into a Wizard at the age of 40 if you're a virgin, which is an idea that's been around for years before the movie, it's just mentioned in the movie as a couple of throw away lines.

>>130582642
http://sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight#Reasons_against_white_knighting

>>130582381
>Hepler
>Stays something stupid
>Gets death threats and shit
>Deserves it

>CWC
>Racist
>Homophobe
>Pedophile
>Lazy and ungrateful
>Oozes sexism that would make even /co/ sick
>Shit webcomics
>Doesn't deserve it

Jealous /v/ ?

>>130582805
Don't forget
>tom girl

>>130581701

I am from Reddit, le problem?

>>130582712
No, it's 30. It's an old meme from 2chan.

>>130582805
>Stays something stupid
I agree with your sarcasm, but re-read what you type. Pro-tip.

Why the fuck is Chris chan's birthday so close to mine? Mine was just a week ago.

Then again, I guess even being born in the same month would be too close for me.

>>130582850
That's like being jealous of this girl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-qTfoJER18

Pity is not something to be proud of

>>130582805
Let's not forget how some people have actually tried helping Chris, but Chris believes that his way of doing things is the only possible way of doing things, and will reject all offers of help.

>>130582895
Not really, just use le when you mean "the" and I won't yell at you like the rest of /v/. It's retarded but I'm trying not to be as angry with you people.

FROM NOW ON, WITH EVERY DECADE HE WILL GET MORE POWERFUL.

WE MUST END THIS IS OR HE WILL DESTROY THE WORLD AND CREATE A BRAND NEW PLANET NAME CWCVILLE: PLANET OF THE SONICHU, HE WILL BE MORE POWERFUL THAN GOD HIMSELF.

James Rolfe

>>130582381

Chris was so rectum ravaged about being banned from a vidya store 6 years ago he's constantly harassed the manager and stalked his daughter. He "accidentally" hit said manager with his car. On 2 separate occasions.

IN OUR DARKEST HOUR

IN THE FAR VASTNESS OF SPACE

DEEP IN THE GALAXY OF THE WILD STALLION

A SPARK OF HOPE IS BORN.

/V/, WE MUST CALL

THE SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE STALLIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONSSSSSSS

>>130583002

>Start video
>Skip the first bit
>"You've never had it off"
>"nope"
>mfw

>>130582905
No, the 2chan meme was 40 actually, it was just last summer that some idiot decided to force 30 here.
Hell, I remember all the threads being divided into two parts, the new idiots who wanted it to be 30 and edited already existing age 40 wizard pictures, and the other half trying to get people to realize it was 40.

>>130583132
It is too late. He has already ascended to Daemon Princehood. There is only one way to remove his taint from this world.

>>130583271
Nobody cares bro.
30 stuck.

>>130583086
Falls under "Lazy and Ungrateful", yes.

And that how he became HE-MAN WITH Fabulous Secret Powers!!

>>130583271
It wasn't 40. You don't even go on 2chan.

See: Steins;Gate, for instance. It uses the wizard at 30 rule. So does Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai.

>>130582642
>Chris is retarded and unaware of his own stupidity and bigotry

Austistic =/= Retarded.

He's perfectly aware and in control of what he says, thinks and does. He's a genuinely stupid person who thinks, speaks and behaves in a genuinely stupid way.

His narcissism and inherent lack of humility are what made him such a prominent figure of stupidity incarnate.

Even if he wasn't in control of his actions, it'd still be fun to troll him. I'm laughing and he's suffering - I'm the observer and he's the observed. It's my conscious right to be fulfilled at the expense of others.

>>130583417
It's still wrong. But I guess as a kid it's hard to realize that you might be wrong and swallow your pride.

I bet you didn't even Santa Claus was designed by Coca Cola.

I heard somewhere that the only type of magic a wizard like this can cast is protection magic to protect his virginity even more.
It's a passive spell

>>130583747
You accidentally a word, bro.

>>130583538
See 40 year old virgin.
Cause I'm pretty sure that's where the European equivalant came from, and not from a bunch of shitty anime.

Perhaps it's time to grow up?

When you see it...

>>130583832
Which one? :O

>>130583907

HOLY SHIT

Atomic Fireballs! I love that shit.

>>130583895
>40 year old virgin
>"pretty sure"

Now you're just being desperate.

>>130583206
I lack the required vocabulary to construct a sentence about what I'm seeing here.
Instead please accept this image in a piss poor attempt to convey my facial expression.

>>130583610
if just autism deserved that kind of treatment you'd be too busy answering julay calls to post here

>>130583895
Holy shit how ignorant can one person be.
Look at you, you pathetic apatow watching faggot, do you really think you belong here? There's plenty of boards for normalfags who have no idea what the fuck they're talking about.

>yfw Chris is more famous then you will ever be.

His birthday is on the 24th, you fucking asshats.

It's my birthday today, though. What did you get me, /v/?

Snyder and the Real World:

Chris isn't worried about the trial, because Snyder "clearly" tricked him. If that fails he expects troll-related stress to be a valid excuse. He doesn't understand that his current actions will hurt him in court.

Chris spends most of his time outside his house due to the bug infestation(which includes locusts), and naturally he's afraid of the internet. He recently got a spyware infection and it scared him(probably thought it was trolls).

By "doesn't want Snyder's blood on his mom's hands", apparently Barb yelled "I'LL KILL THAT SNYDER" and Chris took it literally.

Chris is on Paxil and some medication that gives him "jittery hands". He's definitely seeing multiple doctors, one of which is a psych doctor.

Bell told Chris not to let Sonichu talk through him unless he wants an insanity defense.

Chris is staying a tomgirl because he associates his old self-image with being trolled.

Chris doesn't know Rocky leaked information about the infestation.

The email leaked here is legit, Snyder's legal strategy is to let Chris hang himself. Snyder knows about the fliers.

Chris doesn't know where the key to the spasm papers is.

This was a good one. Chris knows that the CWCki forums exist, but you need to sign up to view it. Chris won't because he thinks his trolls will get his IP and use it to attack his computer. He seems to have forgotten that /cwc/ exists.

Cole tried to talk to Chris since Bob died. Chris accused him of being a troll. Their relationship is worse now.

Chris's primary sources of hate are mallcops, police, and Snyder. MLW and Greene County are irrelevant at the moment.

Chris has talked about driving down random roads and stealing people's laundry because he's too cheap to buy lingeree. Chris mentioned restraining orders, Baboo is going to try to get more details on this the next time he speaks with Chris.

his birthday is not until tommorow, even in his timzeone
stop it

>>130584105
Oh god, you're hilarious. Look, I'm not the one who needs to go somewhere else since you're obviously the one who haven't been here for over a year.
There was a huge fight last summer about it being 30 or 40, all the 40 Wizard pictures was edited to 30 and that was just dirty tricks, but I guess 30 did win.

I'll never give up though, and when I get to 40 I will become the worlds most powerful WizardOh wait, I'm not a virgin..

If he goes to jail, Chris expects something minor to prove his innocence and get him set free to the cheers of all.

Chris thinks that Snyder might try to bribe the judge because he is jewish and has a lot of "TROLL GIVEN MONEY".

He's had two new liscense plates made, a "Rosechu" and a "Redyns" plate. The Rosechu plate is for his girlfriend's car because he had a dream recently where he and his sweetheart are drag racing down an open stretch perfectly side-by-side. This dream has a variant where the police show up in Megazords to pull them over for speeding, but the drag racer cars turn into robots and they fight the cops.

The "Redyns" plate is what Chris plans to put on Snyder's car when he wins the case. It's supposed to be an apology in the sense that he thinks renaming Snyder will get him back in the store. I think his logic is "My name backwards is an evil guy, so Snyder's name backwards is a good guy".

He's taken down the Megan shrine and isn't wearing the Sonichu medal because he thinks that's how trolls identify him as CWC. Tomgirl is identified by makeup. Not even Chris is sure why he's a tomgirl.

Sonichu and the Art Circle:

He has multiple facebook pages because he's paranoid of trolls even inside his circle of friends. Baboo is one of them. It seems to be an art circle of some sort.

Chris has an idea for a plotline. Sonichu is fine with his son being a tomgirl, but Black Sonichu and Angelica disapprove. And Graudon may or may not turn out to be Snyder.

Chris might be attempting to improve his art. At the least he's experimenting with different styles.

Chris still likes to pretend that he's talking to Sonichu and Rosechu. To help this he puts makeup on half his face. He's done this at least once, while he was in his room.

For chronology's sake, Jakie was already talking with Chris before Baboo came into the picture.

IRL Son-chu is under a tarpaulin with the bumper removed so he can keep his bumper stickers. It's comic equal has been modified into something Baboo called a Metabee clone.

Chris is primarily working on designing new Sonichu characters at the moment. One of the new characters is Doctor Scrotem, a Ditto who somehow became a doctor.

Chris will be making more Sonichu comics, but won't release them outside of the art circle. So we'll get them when they're done.

>>130584339
The joke started off on the Japanese internet a while ago. It was always 30. It's not a crime to be wrong, luckily, so you're free to think as you do.

what you fail to remember is that he hasnt reached it by choice. he did not resist temptation, or do it through discipline. among the people who want it he never gets it, and among the people who don't get it he desperately wants it. he is the worst of both worlds, and he is no wizard

>>130584278
Holy shit you know how you saged, right?
Guess what.
This thread was still at the top of page one.
So what does this mean, you might think.
Well, you look like a fucking retard when you sage, because it doesn't do anything.

>>130584267

Hi 789chan bro.

Chris won't go to jail at all

He'll get off because of his autism but it's clear he has physiatric issues

also http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hASKlN0AGI8&feature=related

>>130584508
>because it doesn't do anything.
It doesn't bump the thread.
Why are you so angry at a sage?

>dat feel when chris has the same bday

>>130583747
That's adorable.

I'm not the guy that said it was 30 by the way, I just said it stuck and nobody cares.

Oh, also you didn't seem to state anything wrong with my post.

It's still valid. But I guess as a kid it's hard to realize you might be wrong and swallow your pride.

See what I did there? Also yes, a design for Santa Claus was made and popularized by Coca Cola.

I am become autism, destroyer of worlds.

>>130584354
>Chris still likes to pretend that he's talking to Sonichu and Rosechu. To help this he puts makeup on half his face.

Please let the trial be televised or recorded.
At the very least have one fellow pickler go to his trial. Theres at least ONE dude who lives in virginia that knows about chris.

>>130584621
FUCK YOU I'M NOT ANGRY KILL YOURSELF

>>130581731
Too late, the only things you need to be sending him now is a wand and wizard hat.

>>130584747

>>130584267
>Bell told Chris not to let Sonichu talk through him unless he wants an insanity defense.

>>130582528
Does dis nigga know he's on /v/?

Back to Kotaku you go, sir.

>>130584508

>>130584457
Oh, you're one of those.
Tell me, just because the Japanese does something, we have to do exactly as them? I mean, in your eyes anything and everything they do is 100% right, at least that's how it seems. I mean, there's NO WAY in hell that both parts of the world had similiar ideas, right?

I think there's a word for that.. oh yeah, Weeabo.

>Chris turns 30 and gains wizard powers
>In 2012
Guys.

Guys.

>>130582381

Not all culture is classy. I shouldn't have to repeat this over and over again. There are two different definitions of culture. You're thinking of the artistic definition, the likes of which bullshit like Huckleberry Finn comes from. We're talking about culture as in the trends of certain parts of society.

As for equating our actions to pushing wheelchairs over, I thank you for the compliment.

>>130584890
>saging with an image
Now that's fucking hilarious.

>>130584909
No, I just wanted you to know you're wrong. It started off over there, /a/ picked it up, and now we have it. Sorry to rain on your parade.

I'll take one for the team.
Wish me luck... I might not return home. But its a chance I'm willing to take, because otherwise there might not be a home to return to.
Tell them of my sacrifice. if these people tell this story to their children... Maybe some day they'll see that a hero is just a man who knows he's free.

-dietoslut

>>130582850
dat kids tie

>>130584267
>Chris spends most of his time outside his house due to the bug infestation(which includes locusts),

have the plagues been visited upon him by a vengeful God?

>>130583002
>In America
>Celebrating retards

What a world.

>>130585054
>mfw

>>130585004

YOU WILL BE REMEMBERED IN THE ANNALS OF TIME

WE WILL SING SONGS OF YOUR SACRIFICE

AND ERECT STATUES IN YOUR HONOR

AND IF YOU DO COME BACK WE MIGHT BUY YOU A GAME ON STEAM OR SOMETHING

>>130584919
I'm out of here.

its 40
not 30

>>130584909
You're an idiot for thinking he is a weeaboo based on his post.
He's also an idiot for not providing proof or even an explanation on where he had heard it.
I am an idiot for responding to you and wasting my time.

>>130585004

Are you man or woman? At least give us the privilege of knowing the gender of our hero.

>>130585002
Well, actually no. That's maybe how you've heard the idea, and yes, that was the idea of it being 30 that came from there.

But you do realize that the idea of "Virgin power" has been around for, well, longer than we had japanese media and everything here? Anyway, the way it came about here, and probably how it started in Japan sa well was that "Virgins hold power" etc, Jesus birthed by a virgin and so on. And it wasn't 30 here before you Weeabos started forcing it, hell, on 4chan it was always 40 until last summer.

looks like a massive fag to me

THE COURT WILL BURN IN A SHOWER OF METEORS SUMMONED BY HIS GREAT WIZARD POWERS.

>>130585449
That's the point in incredibly simple terms

>>130585054

Yeah, the plague of being an unclean fat ass.

>>130585449
He is a fag. He's just in vehement denial about it.

ITT: The most retarded argument ever. In a CWC thread too. I love the irony.

>>130585054
He's ascending to a Great Unclean One of Nurgle, not a simple wizard.

>implying chris-chan didnt lose his virginity to a prisonmate

so close chris you will be remebered

>>130585293
But I did provide proof. I said it's popular on 2chan and has been for a while; on its programming board, they even call each other "magic-users" like how we say "manchildren". I also mentioned how it was used in Steins;Gate, a VN from 2009.

2009.
2009.

As in, it predates all this shit.

>>130585402
I never denied "virgin power" was a thing before the "wizard at age 30" thing. I was just letting you know where the joke started.

>>130585584
It's /v/, bro.
This happens a lot.

>>130585402

the "age 40" thing never happened, and was actually a fabrication by communist anti-wizarding agents to make it seem more difficult than it actually is to be a wizard.

you don't know this because you are FAR BEHIND the times on wizard info.

>>130585762
First off, the 40 year old virgin is from 2005 and there's a few throw-away lines in the movie where they mention turning into a Wizard at 40.
That predates your VN.

>Date of birth
>24 February, 1982

Y'all niggas retarded

>>130585706
he's not in jail yet

>>130585762
But nobody cares.
Why should anyone care?
Someone says 40 and a vast majority say 30.
It doesn't matter who is right. You're even anonymous so you can't show your e-peen.
Literally nothing will come of this argument.

>>130586019
please cite or link these lines.

because they never happened, it is a COMMUNIST PLOT.

the communists, you see, produced their OWN race of superwizard robots during the cold war to continue their empire after its foretold fall. These superwizard robots have been controlling all widely-known wizard information since that time with retroactive temporal imaging.

Well it's no longer 40, the ministry of magic changed that. Deal with it.

>>130586141
>It doesn't matter who is right
HE'S 30, How do I know this? BECAUSE I'M FUCKING RIGHT YOU SHITSTICK

It's important, because today he's no longer a mere mortal.

>>130584909
I think you're over exaggerating.

I've been going to 4chan for 6 years now and it's always been wizard at 30

that wizard at 40 guy is trolling

>>130581504
Amazing to think that me and this guy are almost the same age, I'm 29. The only difference is that I played sonic the hedgehog on genesis once, and hated it.

This guy thought it was the greatest thing ever and never grew out of it.

Any gamer gurl want to go to his place and steal his mage stone before midnight so he doesnt gain any powers?

Can someone explain to me why he is going to jail?

Any more word about his court case?

>>130586658

Why did you have to post it....

>>130586658
Seriously how the fuck does that even happen

Did he break it when it was erect?

>>130584339
>Bragging about not being a virgin on the internet.

>>130586658
IT HURTS TO LOOK AT

Congratulations, guys.
You're the asshole of 4chan.

>>130586921
Are you serious?

>>130586658

his penis has already given up hope, it seems

>>130586921
http://www.sonichu.com/cwcki/White_knight

>>130586658
At least spoiler that shit, man.

>>130586745

What about you noble paladin?

Would you take on his great beast and suck out his powers? Can you sacrifice your own body and sanity to him to save the world from his wrath?

>>130586749
Can someone PLEASE explain how someone breaks their dick like that?

I can only imagine a scenario where he's standing there erect, and just falls flat on his face. Does it do that? WHAT THE FUCK

HE TURNS 30 TOMORROW

WE STILL HAVE TIME

>>130586019
Wizardry isn't mentioned in that movie. Please try again.

>>130585054
Yeah, Bob had to be quarantined at the hospital because he was covered in bedbugs before he died.

>>130586658
If we snap his magic stick in two, will he still become all powerful?

>>130587318
I have to take a moment here...
Thats horrific. His son is scum, no other word for it.

>>130584354
Source?

>>130587108

wat

>>130586921
Protip: People have actually tried to help Chris out, one of the more famous ones being Vivian. She kept emailing him back and forth on ways to improve (Some being actually good advice), but Chris ignored it unless it helped him getting a Gal-Pal. She gave up on helping Chris and became one of the more prominent members of the creative side of the Trolls, helping produce the Audiobooks on youtube and a few other creative writings.

http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Vivian_Gee_E-mails,_2007-2008

Chris is ignorant as fuck and cannot be saved, this has been proven time and time again.

http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Alex%27s_Lemonade_Stand

>Bob dies of congestive heart failure
>Chris says he died of cancer

>>130587371

maybe his spell will back fire.

also, I heard his wand was broken by the knight Sir Clyde of Cash and squire bluespike

>>130587562
Don't answer, just back away slowly, and carefully.

>>130587675

>>130587260

This is one of my favorite movies and I can attest to this. There are no Wizard at 40 jokes.

>>130587652

Bob did say he had cancer as well

also

>>bob spent his last days in squalor covered in bed bug bites and sores. When he went to the hospital they had to quarantine him

>>130587736
Oh god...

>>130587912
Poor, poor man.

I blame his wife.

>>130587959

>>130587193
Dicks can break. You stick it in at a bad angle when you're having sex, or she (or he) is moving around too much and it bends the wrong way

>>130588280
our father who art in heaven....

>>130587849
Yes there is, there's a throw-away line at a party.
Some random asks him if he's trying to become a wizard.

>>130583907
what am I supposed to see?

I blame both Bob and Barb for how bad Chris is.

He was offered to be put into special classes at schools to help him become a productive member of society.

Instead, they didn't want to bear the social stigma and kept their godforsaken shit in normal classes.

He has been told his whole life he is special, smart, talent, handsome, etc.

Any criticism, no matter how constructive, is met with anger and hate.

I hope Chris learns this, but I know he never will.

>>130588405

>>130588554
Yeah, and in the same scene, that same guy asks Steve Carell if he has taken his "daily dose" yet. I expect you to believe me just because I said so.

>>130587597
vivian is actually clyde

>>130584872
HE started this whole thing ON HIS OWN by posting Sonichu on /v/ years ago

Get out of the thread, you have no fucking clue what you're talking about

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDlJ-ZY5Opk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbU7ao0i-Ew

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6azwhe8xhVI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHS9v6qnPfU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJKmcdSSs7U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYUcwB5E4Dg

>>130587318
Chris needs to fucking die, no joke, his father was the only thing worth shit about his life and he fucking neglected him fucking piece of shit asshole. I'm fucking mad

If he showered, got help, improved his attitude, and saw the problem. He would have a chance.

But no, he thinks he's perfect in every single way.

Also, he shits himself

8 minutes in

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFZGe_qYct4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0-eiwe-W14

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8bZd5PLX1s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nenWF3gkPog

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAvGEWhNTkw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1COHQIbigmA

>>130589246

He said he doesn't even love his father.... only respects him or some shit

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl2LUzQYQMM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32XiZC2yG1Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaw9gfLKQnc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZhlo94cMNk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkakD5v04Mo

He does have many enemies

>>130588857
don'tkillme

What actually surprises me is no one has just smacked him in the face....

quick question. what age was chris when he first got the attention of /v/?

>>130589529
I think it was 4 or 5 years ago

I want to be Chris' friend :(

>>130589153
You know it's weird, I remember the earliest Sonichu threads on /v/, I even contributed some of the art for Vivi's DeviantART page, I remember masturbatin and squirtin, but I can't recall the day Chris himself posted it here.

>>130582129
...I've watched investigation discovery and some whore(literally) was OK with a creepy man asking to drive into the middle of the forest, who kept getting angrier at her, even smacking her repeatedly.

For twenty dollars, she was OK with this, then he pulled out a knife, then she ran.

CWC is creepy and all, but if he finds the right prostitute 100 bucks would net him a fucking marriage.

>>130589268

DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS

I DID IT FOR YOU JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>implying Chris didn't fuck Snorlax after his father died.

Holy FUCK TO THE FUCKERY!

I was reading that wiki shit cause its good for a laugh. and guess what I found out kids.

He used to live in RI. And the kicker, he went to my middle school!

I feel a deeper connection now then I ever had.

>>130589875
It is quite literally impossible for Chris to achieve penetration.

His dick is less then 5 inches, plus its 45* angle, his pubic mound, his gut, and his personality have sealed his fate as a permavirgin

>>130589268
what the fuck man

>>130589875
For some reason, people think he'll actually fuck his mom at some point because, according to his own e-mails, they would spoon and hold each other and shit whenever his dad wasn't in the room.

He should've fucked that prostitute when he had the chance. Now he's going to end up a virgin at THIRTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>130590102

are you serious?

>>130590320
Yeah. She would go into his room while he was watching a movie or something and lay on his bed and they'd hold each other, then they'd play footsie and shit at restaurants and only stop when his dad caught them at it.

I'm not making this shit up, it's all on the CWCki with sources.

>>130590517

He's going to rock her world...

oh god I feel sick now

>>130590517

>>130590517
As this anon stated before >>130590058

He will never be able to fuck her

>>130590623

What if he gets her pregnant?

>>130590517

shit, man.

Just when I thought his life couldn't conceivably be any more fucked up.

>>130590517

>>130590713
Sonichu would be truly born 8 months later.

>>130590713

Oh god... that feel when I just imagined what the kid would look/be like

If there's one thing i've learned by following the chris-chan saga, it's that autism has no bottom.

>>130591161
There's a lot more wrong with Chris than autism. Autism was just the very tip of the iceberg.

>>130591228
Chris is fucking Crazy.

sup guys

>>130591161
at least he is not a tripfag

Adam Hann-Byrd, the actor who played the young version of Robin Williams' character in Jumanji turned 30 today.

>>130590058
>>130589875
>>130590517

Well. I guess only time will tell. If Chris doesn't develop wizard powers tomorrow, we'll know what happened.

>>130591161
Since ancient times, it was written that a manchild would come. One filled with so much power and autism that upon turning 30, his wizard powers would engulf the world. May god have mercy on us, for He will not.

>>130591336
I am not sleeping tonight.

>>130590517

i thought something was weird when I read he took is mom to the prom

jesus
fucking
christ.

>>130591336
>that cat
NOT A SINGLE FUCK

>>130591482

Chris and his mother are sleeping together

>>130581731

We tried that. He cried and called the cops

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxGU4nSlX0M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdFJ7Q6Iuo4

He made this himself. At 27, I think. I forget.

Thank god his mom is too old to have any more retard babies. She was born in '41 right? Makes her well past 60, and menopause is 40-50.

>he admitted he had a wet dream about his mom being a bellydancer
>he tells his mom whenever he goes to masturbate
>they spoon on his bed
>he lives in virginia

Why is anyone surprised?

>>130592015
>tells his mom whenever he goes to masturbate

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

JULAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY

>>130591897

Why isn't this man in specialist care... seriously he has more than autism

>>130592171
He thinks he is the epitome of human perfection.

>>130592114
>Back in a bit mom, gotta go fap!
>Be back in time for dinner!

>>130592015
>he admitted he had a wet dream about his mom
That happens to a lot of people.

>>130592305
but most people don't gloat about it.

>>130592262
Or they could work it into dinner.

>>130592171
Because he had shitty parents, man. I hope that the courts will see that, but honestly he is fucked up in many ways.

>>130592262
This just gave me a disturbing thought.
Imagine a picture of chris fapping, shoop a tribes ascend helmet on him with the caption gotta go fast.
This is that thought, and i cannot unthink it.

feelsbadman.jpeg

What the fuck happened?

>>130592470
well there are several videos of him masturbating on the internet, I'm sure you could do the shoop pretty easily

Chris chan thread just like the good ol days of /v/

>>130592650
Piss ass poor parenting skills
Alcohol
Autism

Pick three

>>130592792
What the hell is he doing in that gif?

>>130592650

nothing happened, that's what happened.

he never grew up.

>>130592929
A different enterpretation of meatspin.

>>130592929
Spinning around naked, what the fuck does it look like?

>>130592929

a lot of things

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKrl7SA0Myo&feature=player_embedded

>>130592970
>huurrr not mature like me, look at me posting on 4chan

>>130582187
That was fiction, you dunce. It was a goddamn what if. Like "what if people didn't become wizards at 30 and instead just continued to languish in mediocrity".

>>130593232
>make fun of someone for posting on 4chan
>on 4chan

Seems sensible.

So, I always ignored this guy. Then I saw that there was a wiki on him.

Dear fucking God. How can there be so much shit on one retard? Further more, how can there be so many people that actually did all that shit to him AND recorded it? It's mind boggling! I mean, there is quite a lot of material in that CWCky thing. The sheer autismic retard power of that guy is astounding, and the obsessiveness of the people that contribute to the wiki is equally astounding!

Funny as hell, though. Wish I paid attention to it during his hayday. I just wrote it off as another retard on the internet. NOPE. He is definitely the absolute King of Retards.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=71DTSyvLvto

This is him. I'm serious.

Who the hell is Chris-Chan and why the fuck should I care about him?

>mfw I have been with CWC since 1997 and his pain fuels us all to date

I MISS WEEKLY/BIWEEKLY UPDATES
GOD DAMN THOSE WERE GOOD TIMES

>>130593502
Go back to Gaia or Reddit or wherever the fuck you're from

>>130593151
Jesus Christ

>>130593363
>"what if people didn't become wizards at 30 and instead just continued to languish in mediocrity".
>mediocrity

That word....

>>130593135
why do I imagine chris spweing out venom and screaming "HAAAAAAAAAAATE HAAAAAAAAAAAAATE MINE AND MINE ALOOOOOOOOOOOONE" while crying and shitting himself as he smothers his cat to death?

Its my Step Dads birthday today :D

>>130582005
Oh...oh god. We overlooked this from the start. FALSE ALARM, FOLKS

I just wish he would have killed himself during one of the extreme "trollcapades" that was inflicted on him.

I want to see the reaction from the trolls. Many times he was told to kill himself. I wish he would do it because I don't think they would have the stomach to think he actually did it due to my taunts.

>>130593563

Keep on fantasizing about internet retards, fat neckbeard (I know that's redundant)

You probably still jack off to Cracky-chan and Boxxy, right?

>>130593840
-6/25

>>130593840
>boxxy
ahahahaha seriously faggot you're not welcome here, go talk to your friends on facebook.

What happened with Snyder? Why is CWC in jail? I haven't been following this.

>>130581881

Total mana is inversely proportional to the volume of your combined lifetime ejaculations, I seriously doubt Chris Chan will be capable of any serious wizardry after expelling so much of his lifeforce over the years.

He does enjoy consuming his own jizz though, maybe that cancels it out?

>>130594151

Chris chan ran over snyder outside of gamestore.

Snyder is in a coma, CWC and barb are looking at 15 and 6 years for assault, fleeing scene of accident and assaulting an officer

Guys, wizardry isn't caused by the ability to actually do magic. It's caused because in isolation a person's grip on reality becomes very tenuous, and that coupled with wish fulfillment causes a person to believe he has the powers of a wizard. Of course, that person can end up in a situations where others think he has magical powers according to the usual and well documented processes.

>>130594329
You have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

He didn't run him over, there's no coma.

>>130594292
>he shit himself.

>>130594292

Theres a good reason hy no wizard ever recycles his own mana.

Better stand back people- Chris using his mana for magic with his broken wand can lead to some dangerous results

>>130594329
He is not in a comma. He's fine, and it was his mum that ran him over.

>>130584980
why do faggots assume saging with an image bumps a thread these days? go fucking try it out for yourself on a slow board, it doesn't bump

>>130594292
Yes, recycling your mana prevents its expenditure. Also, if your jizz cools and the sperm dies, the power is disassociated with it and may be reabsorbed as per the usual passive mana accretion process. For people who live in isolation, very little will be lost. The only case in which it's all permanently lost is when a witch steals it.

Seriously? NO! My birthday is in two days. I don't want to share the same month with this fucking clown.

>>130594489
>Theres a good reason hy no wizard ever recycles his own mana.
What? We all do that.

who's this fag

>>130594050

>implying I use facefuck
>implying caring about some autistic fuck such as yourself is necessary to go on 4chan

Yeah, go back to boxxy.

>>130594489

Yes, but what do you think they make mana potions out of?

>>130594418

But what happens if you try to cast a spell using recycled mana with a broken wand?

And whhat would happen if he engages in incest with a catomancer?

>>130594571
Wait wait is a witch a virgin female over 30?

>>130594752

blue and sparkly shit.

its just a placebo which raises your willpower, meaning your mana regeneration rate goes up for a short period

>>130594292
>dat fucking picture
I'm on the floor giggling like a retard, it's given me a headache and a slight chest pain.
If i die, i want this picture at my funeral.

>>130594808
pretty sure that's an old maid

>>130594292

Those DIRTY CRAPPED BRIEFS

It's the little details which count

>>130594808
>implying females have magic
All women are succubi. Don't buy into that foolish "one of the guys" ruse.

>newfaggots who don't know CWC or Uli or any of our ways and say NOT VIDYA while posting LOL EPIN XD WHATS UR FAVORITE CEREAL

nigga yes I mad

>>130593563

>Hipster Areal cosplay

hnnnnngggggghhhh

>>130595242

>constanza

>>130595390

gorge constanza
jerru steinfeld
elanes bennus
kramer kosmer

>>130595141
RULES 1 & 2 FAGGOT GTFO
FUCKING NEWFAGS

to

>Go back to /b/
>"LOL SEKRIT CLUB"

We should have listened bro.
4chan is mainstream as fuck now.

>>130595590
If only anyone had ever bothered to not talk about 4chan

if only

Fucking fat autistic pig brings shame to the human race. I only take comfort in the fact he will never breed.

>>130595590
It's not too late to reform, though I'm probably just being too optimistic. Just tell everyone to lurk more and use Google when they have a question. Sooner or later it might sink in.

>>130592015
>>130590517
>mfw it's 2012 and i'm still discovering disturbing shit from CWC

>>130595915

There's an endless well of it

>>130595061
I noticed that first, i then enjoyed the reflection and his interpretation of it, the picture is nothing short of brilliant.

>>130592305

Errr...I don't think that's normal, chief.

Freud isn't always right.