>deal with it

Because Frodo was not born yet.


BAZINGA!

>>121744241
cause he knew he had to choose him

>>121744241
I... i don't know.
Every single one of the adventurers is a warrior of some kind.

if frudo wanted the smeagy to steal ring why didnt he just get bucket of lava from mount and just meltings the ring in it

Why didn't you just use the eagles to fly up the mountain?

>>121744460
But he is in fact pretty useless all the time.
And he can't know that he finds the ring, as he doesn't know that Bilbos ring is the one ring in Lord of the Rings either (in the beginning i mean)

>>121744641

They didn't have enough One Ring metal to make a bucket with.

>>121744641

That made me chuckle

Why didn't captain planet use Super Saiyan 3 strength to defeat the three trolls?

>>121744719

>useless

Nigger, did you even read the Hobbit? Bilbo was slaughtering goblins left and right. Frodo is a fucking bitch ass pussy compared to the young Bilbo.

>>121745024
To get to the other side!
xD

do you really want this spoiled for you? the book is amazing, fucking read it

>>121745084
Yeah but still:
Why wouldn't you get some badass ranger or let's say a 14th dwarf for shit like this?

>>121745352

You didn't read the fucking book. If you did you'd know why.

why didnt Didlo Faggins just help Harri Porter kill Vileldermornt?

Why didn't Bilbo just let the dwarves starve to death in the Elf King's Halls while he looted Smaug's treasure horde by himself? It's not like Bilbo or the dwarves (or Gandalf for that matter) actually killed Smaug anyway.

>>121745352

He tried, nigga

>in response to "why dont we just kill dargon lol"
>"That would be no good," said the wizard, "not without a mighty Warrior, even a Hero. I tried to find one; but warriors are busy fighting each other in distant lands, and in this neighborhood heroes are scarce, or simply not to be found...that is why I settled on burglary."

>>121744552
I think only 4 of them were trained Warriors.

Why didn't Gandalf just cut off Fredo's fingers?

>>121746182

The screaming would have gotten on his nerves.

Because he's Bilbo Bagins; greatest little Hobbit of them all.

>>121746344
...Now that song will be in my head for days.

Because Hobbits are able to resist the ring's allure.

For a while, anyway.

>>121746182
That's... A good point.

>>121746411

HE FOUGHT WITH THE GOBLINS
DUM DUM
HE BATTLED A TROLL
DUM DUM
HE RIDDLED WITH GOLLUM
DUM DUM
A MAGIC RING HE STOLE
DUM DUM
GOT CHASED BY WOLVES, GOT LOST IN THE FOREST, ESCAPED IN A BARREL FROM THE ELF-KING'S HALLS

Why didn't Frodo just give the ring to Samwise?

>>121746578

It wouldn't fit Sam's fatty-fat fatty-flabber-fingers.

>>121746578
Because he's a stupid fat hobbit.

>>121746472
that certainly worked for Smeagol

>>121746182
Because then he'd use it as a cock ring.

>>121746537

No, it isn't. If Gandalf was carrying the ring around, he'd feel the compulsion to put it on. And if Frodo was carrying it around, he'd probably just put it on his dick and then everyone would be fucked.

>>121746542
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LR-MSZSLC5w&feature=related
Already listening to it.
In a few days I will curse your name.

>>121746799
Smeag had the ring for hundreds of years in a cave before Bilbo found him. He technically kept it safe. For himself.

>>121746799

If I recall correctly, Smeagol was similar to a Hobbit but was not, in fact, a Hobbit.

>>121746799

Smeagol was a greedy asshole anyway

>>121747032

This. He he killed his "friend" for it after all. Though they both acted despicably in that flashback.

Why did Saruman leave Gandalf out in the open in a position where he could take his own life or, possibly, escape, when he knew that Gandalf knew where the ring was likely going to be?

>>121747023

He was basically a Hobbit. Hobbits didn't really exist in their present form at the time, but he was one of the proto-Hobbits before they migrated to the Shire. I think the technical term is a Stoor. Anyway the reason why he fell for the Ring so badly wasn't because he wasn't a hobbit, but because he was a greedy and murderous bastard by nature. He and Deagol were basically the hobbit equivalent of the rednecks from Deliverance.

Why didn't Tofu wear the ring up his ass?

>>121746542

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_eaAk57oUY

wow the 60s were crazy

>>121747344

He was too busy teaching Otto and Reggie about what the ancient Hawaiians used to say.

>>121747344

Because he'd shit it out periodically

>>121747246

>Gandalf kills himself
>I win lol

>Gandalf escapes
>nbd I'll kill him later since I've already shown I can beat his ass lol

serious answer is that Saruman was being unwise due to his growing pride in his own magical power and army of uruk-hai and all that

>>121747427
Time for a dicking?

>>121747488
>Gandalf kills himself
>Oh damn, now who will I question about the ring

I'll accept your last answer as valid, though. That makes the most sense.

>>121747517
Damn straight.

>>121747460

It worked for this guy, who wore a hunk of uncomfortable metal up his ass for two years while in captivity

>>121747594

Saruman already knew about the Ring, dude. Gandalf had already told him everything, before he was imprisoned, because he didn't realize Saruman was already evil. And besides, Saruman was always the expert on the Ring, anyway.

>>121747727

But Tofu didn't have Christopher Walken's particularly cavernous posterior.

>>121747727

How many times do you think he shat it out?

>>121747840

guess it depends on what the gooks were feeding him

Where theres a whip theres a way.

Why didn't Bilbo just board the ship to the gray havens with the ring in his pocket?

any of you guys seen this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0k3kHtyoqc

>>121747959
If you're the other guy that wrote a bit about the song Ballad of Bilbo baggins, stop.
These songs will not leave my head in days okay.

>>121748071

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
So carefully, carefully with the plates!

>>121747986

I wondered that too. Or why didn't they just give the ring to an elf who was already going to the Havens to go into the West. Once there, the elf gives the ring to the Valar to put in celestial jewelry box until the end of time

>>121747986

>go to Valinor with the Ring
>The Lords of the Valar come to greet me
>They welcome Elrond and Galadriel and Gandalf
>"Wait whose this short fag carrying an ancient evil"
>The One Ring begins to fall out of my pocket
>I shit myself and burst into lembas-bread

FUCKING MIDDLE EARTH

why didnt frodo go up a stepladder to suck gandalfs dick

>>121748242

because gendalf is a women

>>121748133
Because Sauron would still continue to fuck shit up, and in order to stop that they needed to just destroy it.

Why one of the valar couldn't do that, I don't know. They probably COULD but they don't seem to give more than half a fuck about middle earth considering they packed up and left when shit got too rough.

>>121748133

>Elf gets ring
>Fuck this running away shit, I'm going to stay here and kill Sauron
>He kills Sauron and becomes Evil Elf King
>or Sauron kills him and gets the Ring back

>>121748013
been nearly 10 years since lotr and gandalf still looks the same

>>121748288
>>121748242

cause ganondorf is only into other old men wizards, not small child humans. It's a common misconception that old gay men like little kids.

Why didnt Fred just rent a helicopter to fly him to volcano?

>>121748388

He's sorta like Sean Connery in that regard.

>>121748477

He didn't have his pilot's license, so he couldn't apply.

>>121748358

Yeah, I think that unless the elf was uncommonly powerful like Galadriel, Sauron would just laugh at the faggoty pretty boy wearing his ring and curb-stomp him.

Why didn't saren just shoot lasers at freto?

>>121748013
>the movie is out DECEMBER!!
>it is December 2012....
and I loved that book

>>121748766

because he ran out of laser ammo, duh

>>121748388
lulwot?

>>121748766
>>121748711
>>121748644
>>121748499
>>121748477

FIVE DUBS IN A ROW

>>121748766

Are you a Reaper?

why didnt fordor fly eagles into gimli

Why didn't frindo just throw the ring from the shire into the mount boom?

>>121748912
I mean in the trailer, he still looks the same like in 2003 on that trailer
damn I am soo pumped!!

>>121748958

Why didn't Bateman just get the dubs?

>>121749051

gimli wasnt tall enough to accomodate the eagle's wingspans

Why are the Elves in the Hobbit drunken gay chorus boys, and the Elves in the Lord of the Rings fay pussies who only want to run away, and the Elves in the Silmarillion stone-cold badasses who fight the god damn devil barehanded?

>>121748353

Fuck the Valar. They created the world and basically fucked around after that.

>That feel when you read The Hobbit as a kid but can barely remember things from it today
>That feel when I know I'll somehow end up saying the movie is shit and reference the book like a faggot as it will possibly stir some memories of the good parts of the book the movie will inevitably ruin.
Oh well, fucking Hollywood.

Why didn't Sauron's dumb ass just put guards at the entrance to Mt Evil so Frodo couldn't get inside and throw the ring in the lava? And a gate so that he couldn't sneak in?

And don't tell me it's because Sauron didn't think anyone would try to destroy the ring because that's bullshit.

>>121749150

It's a purposeful but not very subtle analogue to western civilization's demoralization.

>>121749090

nice