that kid was me

Should've kicked th eback of his seat throughout the movie.
Then chatted his mom up.

The kid is Jacob

Black guy talking on his cellphone nonstop through Spider-Man. Person behind him is finally fed up and gets the manager. Five minutes later, 2 security guards are dragging black guy out over his threats of violence to everyone and anyone. Guards stay posted at the theater doors until movie ends. Managers gives everyone in the theater free passes to another movie.

I was working at a drive-in when a customer pulled a gun on some other customers and I (I wish I could emphasize that more) had to go deal with him and talk him into leaving peacefully.

When I was 15 I went on a blind double date to see Legally Blonde. The girls were 12, ugly, and had no tits, the movie was horrible, and the stupid bitch spilled all of my popcorn.

Archive This Shit!

LOL

Whatever, dude. I had a full-on retard freakout at the beginning of The Lost World. Kid was in a wheelchair and just started going BLLALAAUUUGGHAAAAGHHGGHHHHHHGHGHAAAAHAHHHUUUUUUUUGGGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!!@@@ until someone finally wheeled him out of there. Of course, he was the best part of that shitty movie.

I watched Speed Racer on acid. Contrary to what the commercials said it was not "trippy", it was just annoying, with an incomprehensible plot and non-stop godawful special effects. I was already bummed out during my trip because it started raining and Speed Racer fucking ruined it for me.

Whats with all the talk about Jurassic Park tonight?

>>3634421

I want to hear more about this!

I watched Battlefield: Earth in its entirety.

I was at the movie with my dad, watching departed when it came out in sweden, it was all and good, then at about the end, when leonardo di caprio gets shot in the head all sudden like in the elevator a guy behind me jumped and said O SHIT really loud, ruining the intense silence of the theater. Everyone laughed, I was pissed because my dad thought it was me.

fucking dick.

>>3634484
damn

Was watching Children of Men, a baby was crying non-stop for about 40 minutes before my friend at the time finally snapped and yelled out "Can someone shut that baby up!" About 10 minutes later a big mauri guy comes over and starts yelling then punches my friend in the face. His glasses cut into his nose and he bled everywhere. It was so fucking annoying because I was enjoying the movie.

There was a guy getting a hand job or blow job behind me in Star Trek. He was a moaner.

>>3634497

Maybe he just really liked Picard?

Saw Bad Influence with my friend. He was drunk out of his mind. Halfway through the movie he pukes on the floor. I was too intrigued with the story to leave so I left him passed out sitting next to me with the smell of vomit heavy in the air and a theater full of pissed off people.

Captain! We're passing Warp 10!

>>3634370

Protip: This didn't happen.

>>3634595
I've worked in a theater at all levels. Protip: that shit happens all the damn time.

>>3634494
This didn't happen either.

went to see American Gangster with some friends, about 15mins after it started, 9-10 black people came in, and sat on the row in front of us. some of the women had HUGE hair and blocked some of the screen for me, they all had bought food such as tortilla chips with all the different toppings and STUNK the place out, and they all talked really loudly as if they were at a nightclub or something. I don't think any of them even watched the movie, they just ate and talked for the entire thing.

>>3634735
I was one of them.

>>3634710

It really did.

>>3634595
>>3634710

This faggot must live in Vermont.

I was watching the first Harry Potter movie in a pretty packed theater, lots of kids and families. This one family came in late - it was a mother and her three kids (one boy and two girls). The most seats available were near the back in front of me, but only three open next to eachother. The mother and two of the kids go for them and she tells the oldest girl to take the seat behind them next to me. The mother turns around to me and asks me 'if it's ok if she sits here' and I tell her it was 'ok'. The girl must have been 9-11 years old, cute and didn't look like she would cause any problems.

So this girl was pretty sweet, she asked me questions about the Harry Potter books and it didn't seem like the mom cared that she was talking to me since she didn't turn around. When the movie began she would nudge and smile at me during some of the better scenes. She even motioned her popcorn my way and offered me some. Nice girl.

So like half way through the film during the troll attack scene, I have my arm on the armrest and she kinda grabs it. I looked over and she gives me her usual smile. I don't know what came over me but I go and plant my hand down on her lap which earns me another glance and smile. So after a minute of my hand there I start to rub her crotch with my fingers. She doesn't give me reaction so I slyly pull up her skirt a bit and go straight for her slit. I start to rub again through her underwear but I quickly notice discomfort in her eyes.

Big 'oh shit' moment so I immediately stop and move my hand back to the armrest. I was worried that she would scream or something so I was preparing to run when suddenly she puts her hand back on mine. I look over and she has this small smile and this sexy look in her eyes that i'll never forget. So I put my hand back under her skirt and start to rub again. When I looked over to her I could see her looking at the screen but I could tell she wasn't paying attention to the movie at all. This went on intermittently throughout the remainder of the film.

I left quickly at the end of the film. I regret not giving her my cell number making it my worst theater moment ever.

>>3634776
Cool Story Bro

>>3634776
Almost exactly the same thing happened to me a few years ago.

Except that in my story, it was a boy.

And it wasn't a cinema, it was a chemical plant.

>>3634771

You even knew exactly where to begin a new post.

I pronounce you the King of Copypasta.

Saw ninth gate on a date with an insanely hot quarter japanese girl who chatted me up for some reason at a party. I did realize how goddamn lucky I was and more than a little concerned with giving a good impression when at the very beginning of the commercials, I feel a rain of popcorn and salt wash down my head. I turn around and I see two middleaged women looking mildly surprised. I get up to brush off all the popcorn and the woman who clearly fumbled her megasized snackpot over my head isn't appologizing, she even laughed a little in an embarassed way. Should I start a fight? If it was a guy who did it sure that would have been necessary. Do I begin to shout at her? At that very moment the salon darkens and the movie begins so I just sit down all pissed off. after the movie the guy in front of me gives me his sympathies and tells me I should have punched her or something. Keeping it cool was obviously the wrong move in my date's eyes as she seemed disgusted at my meekness and she never answered my calls again. God damn only time I ever was close to scoring a hot asian girl FUCK YOU OLD WOMAN. I am so punching the next lady who lays that shit on me ever again.

>>3634784

>>3634771

the fuck

>>3634802

Yeah, nothing makes a girl wet like punching old women.

>>3634822

THAT MAKES ME SO ANGRY

T-REX HAVE OVER 6 INCH TEETH

>>3634841

>>3634822
Yeah punching the crone wouldn't have worked either. Fuck, I was screwed the moment those popcorn started to rain. no win situation.

there was this kid behind me that laughed every time the guy with the Russian accent talked in the latest Star Trek movie (sorry, not that into Star Trek).

When I saw Spider Man 3 I had a late forties early fifties woman to my right that sang along with all the songs in the movie, especially when Peter's friend and girlfriend makes dinner together.

>>3634822
I could see how ignoring that would be a turn-off. It's not a very manly thing to do. That being said, I can't see a very productive way to reclaim your honor in this situation.

>>3634869
Asking for an apology seems to be the only way to retain some dignity.

>>3634497 He was obviously jerking himself off thinking about Spock, Trekkies get zero pussy.

>>3634792

FUKIN LOL'D

>>3635031
Maybe. Fucking bad timing that the movie started about that second. Oh well I'm older wiser and meaner now.

I was watching the matrix and some fucker puked on me

yo i was watchin' Bad Boyz II and some nigga just straight up SHOT ME in the neck, y'heard? shit was WACK.

>>3635152

Do you mean Matrix Revolutions?

When I saw Notorious I was stabbed to death.

I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theatre, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony, and then, then I made a noise like this. "Huagh. Huagh. Huagh Huaaah!"
And, and then I dumped it over the side on all the people in the audience. Then this was horrible, all the people started getting sick, and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

>>3635183

What was in it?

>>3634494
there was 2 of you... you couldve wiped his ass and proceed to watch shitty movie...

>>3634595
>>3634710

Butthurt nigger detected.

I had a cold once, and I bought some popcorn and as I watched the movie, I coughed every time I ate any popcorn, which was every 2 seconds.

Went to see I Am Legend with a mate and during the start of the movie some stupid teenage girls come into the movie talking loudly and flashing their phones and shit everywhere. They were still talking annoyingly well into the beginning of the movie.

When I got home that night I was having a whinge about the stupid bitches ruining the movie and it turns out one of them was my sister ...

>>3635275
you then raped her, right?

>>3635275
You should have punched her in the tit right then. Teach that bitch her place.

>>3635284
>>3635292
Nope, sorry to disappoint

>>3635275
Go see a Will Smith movie, you deserve all you get.

>>3635305 Will Smiff
Only bankable star left in Hollywood

Black mom takes her 8 year old kid to see Silent Hill.

Kid hides his eyes during a scary part.

Black mom yells 'DONT HIDE YO EYES! I DIDNT PAY 7 DOLLAS FOR YOU TO HIDE YO EYES"

>>3635324
lol.

>>3635324
Surely this is one of the best.

>>3635183
how could no one get this reference.

>>3635393

Took everyone long enough eh

About ten years ago laser-pointers were all the rage with kids. Couldn't go see a movie without some smartass shining a red dot all over the screen.
Can't recall my worst theatre experience, but when I went to see Iron Man there was a fucking kid behind me who had seen it already and was telling his friend to "watch out" for coming scenes.
>oh this bit is funny, iron man tries to fly but the power is to high and he smacks into the ceiling lol, just watch lolololo

I went and saw 300 and during the beasts of war/elephant/rhino scene the movie cut out, and this manager guy walked down and told everyone there was a problem with the reel and that our tickets would be refunded.

So I ended up wasting my time, only getting back 10 bucks, and having the movie ruined for me, and I thought it was a great movie (mindless and shallow but still great)

>>3635324
I lol'd. Nigger "parenting" is always full of hilarity.

>>3635419
You reminded me,
When I went to see Vertical Limit (yes shit I know), there was a prick manning the projector. Every single fucking time there was an explosion, and when the hero did that epic jump across a chasm you see in the trailer, the prick covered over the lens so we'd hear it, but not be able to see it.
Goddamn I was so fucking pissed off that as soon as the credits rolled I stormed outta there and told the manager, a couple of others leaving chimed in too. I got two free passes with free popcorn combos, but it ruined my evening.
I hope the fag lost his job or at least lost some pay.

>>3635454
>as soon as the credits rolled

Why the FUCK would you stay the entire movie?

I saw the Matrix Revolutions with a girl and i liked it

Best theatre moment:
when I was in the Irish Defence Forces, my unit went to the theatre to see The Wind That Shakes The Barley, a film about the Irish Civil War, told from the rebel (loser) side.
We cheered every time somebody from our side was killed, and laughed at guns shooting out flames and such. Good fun.

Jar Jar Binks spoke.

>>3635500

>>3635419
This happened to me but with Master and Commander, so it was a double waste of time.

>>3634440
lol can't remember what film it was but a middle aged man did the same thing...he was screaming through the previews until they kicked him out. shit was weird as fuck

>>3635500

And thus spake jar jar binks...

>>3634370

>Managers gives everyone in the theater free passes to another movie
wow. god, that sounds horrible man. tough break.

I went to see the Sex and the City movie and I laughed all the way through.

There were also black girls talking on their cellphones but no one cared because it was only us laughing and them talking on their cellphones.

>I had a full-on retard freakout at the beginning of The Lost World. Kid was in a wheelchair and just started going BLLALAAUUUGGHAAAAGHHGGHHHHHHGHGHAAAAHAHHHUUUUUUUUGGGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!!@@@
>BLLALAAUUUGGHAAAAGHHGGHHHHHHGHGHAAAAHAHHHUUUUUUUUGGGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!!@@@
>BLLALAAUUUGGHAAAAGHHGGHHHHHHGHGHAAAAHAHHHUUUUUUUUGGGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!!@@@

that was probably the funniest noise ive ever read

When I went to see Star Trek I had a man and his son sitting to my right and a girl and her boyfriend on my left. The girl was one of those people that would shit her pants over every single thing "oh my god, OH MY GOD. Look how big that ship is? Do you see that thing? When it's the first kissing scene she practically yells, "BOY, She's really getting around."

The kid was just as annoying. He couldn't read so his dad had to read things on the screen to him. He was asking questions throughout the whole damn movie. Eventually, MCcoy pulls out a flask and offers it to Kirk. The kid says "What's that daddy?" and I'm kinda upset that I couldn't hear his answer.

>>3634349

holy shit OP, I had a similar experience involving JP3. Annoying ass kid in the theatre sitting behind me kept telling his mom or whoever about that scene where Grant and the gang encounter the feeding T-Rex because he saw the trailer like 50 million times and knew the lines by heart.

[the team come across a rotting carcass]
Dr. Grant: It's OK. It's dead.
[a T-Rex raises its head out of the carcass]
Dr. Grant: Nobody move a muscle.
[the T-Rex roars and the team run off]
Dr. Grant: Shit!

I don't know how many fucking times that kid said "He's gonna say, nobody move a muscle, and then it roars and everyone runs away, lol"

FFFFFFFF

>>3635628
When I went to see Jurassic Park with my Dad I spent most of the movie hiding behind my popcorn.
Recently I went to see the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with my Dad and I spent most of the movie grinding my teeth.

Every time I go to an opening night show it's the worst experience ever. Same thing every time. A buncha spics show up with their... "family." They all have sidekicks and bluetooth headsets. The headsets blink the brightest blue ever and it's annoying, and they actually talk in spanish the entire time. They get up and leave and come back over and over again. Happens every time.

Now I only go to matinees on like, Monday mornings.

I farted during There Will Be Blood and the guy next to me heard it, I think.

>>3635626
>BLLALAAUUUGGHAAAAGHHGGHHHHHHGHGHAAAAHAHHHUUUUUUUUGGGHGHHHHHHHH!!!!!

>>3635658
Juassic Park 3 was an enormous shitstain of a movie, I RAGED without any annoying audience members.

>>3635678

why are you going to my theatre? you should know by now that my familia owns it esse

Worst was probably Vantage point. Some group of middle schoolers showed up and started being general douche little kids (though slightly worse then normal because the guys were trying to impress the girls they were with). They proceed to complain throughout the whole movie while trying to piece together the plot. Shit was so fucking annoying. There wasn't anything to do about it either, middle school kids are little douches by nature.

Also new Star Trek, showed up late, missed the previews, and had to set in the very front row all the way off to the right hand side. Another show started a 1/2 hour later so I ended up leaving part way through and watched that.

Best was Beowulf. Caught some late showing with a bunch of friends (we were all getting extra credit to go see the movie since we had just read the poem). We were the only ones there and we basically made fun of the movie the whole time and laughed our assess off.

>>3635628

fuck....thanks for furthering my hatred of womens and small retarded children

I'm gonna go slit my throat

>>3635755

>Beowulf movie
>extra credit
>just read the poem

what kinda fucked up backwoods school do you go to?

>>3635755
>We were the only ones there and we basically made fun of the movie the whole time and laughed our assess off.

God, I love it when that happens. Sometimes it's great getting to see a movie late just because of that. Feels like the whole theater is there for your amusement.

>>3635741
You don't own shit. I pay all ur beelz so you can drink cervezas all day and blast shitty music and yell out your window. JESUS FUCK HAVE YOU PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF SCREENS? Your house must be lousy with infestations. owait....

>Worst movie theater moments
When I paid to see Scary Movie 3 because the movie we wanted to see was booked out.
Nobody cracked a smile for the entire movie, god I hate those shitty " x Movie" films.

school trip to a small beach town in 8th grade. went to the shitty little cinemas there to see chicken run. seats were uncomfortable and dirty, and about halfway through the movie turns upside down and plays backwards. whole class waits for about 15 minutes until the guy fixes it. then it happens again 20 minutes later. then it catches on fire. I asked the teacher if we get a refund, and got into trouble.

that wasn't the worst though, the worst was when i went to see You me and Dupree with a friend. there were people actually laughing at the movie. Can you believe it? People in the cinema actually found that movie funny. Worst experience ever.