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10/23/08(Thu)15:44 No.2044424 File :1224791052.jpg-(128 KB, 497x705, obama4.jpg)
My fellow Americans:
As
your future President I want to thank my supporters, for your mindless
support of me, despite my complete lack of any legislative achievement,
my pastor's relations with Louis Farrakhan and Libyan dictator Moamar
Quadafi, or my blatantly leftist voting record while I present myself
as some sort of bi-partisan agent of change.
I also like how my
supporters claim my youthful drug use and criminal behavior somehow
qualifies me for the Presidency after 8 years of claiming Bush's
youthful drinking disqualifies him. Your hypocrisy is a beacon of hope
shining over a sea of political posing.
I would also like to
thank the Kennedy's for coming out in support of me. There's a lot of
glamour behind the Kennedy name, even though JFK started the Vietnam
War,his brother Robert illegally wiretapped Martin Luther King, Jr. and
Teddy killed a female employee with whom he was having an extra marital
affair and who was pregnant with his child. And I'm not going anywhere
near the cousins, both literally and figuratively. And I'd like to
thank Oprah Winfrey for her support. Her love of meaningless empty
platitudes will be the force that propels me to the White House.
Americans
should vote for me, not because of my lack of experience or
achievement, but because I make people feel good. Voting for me causes
some white folk to feel relieved of their imagined, racist guilt. I
say things that sound meaningful, but don't really mean anything
because Americans are tired of things having meaning. If things have
meaning,then that means you have to think about them. Americans are
tired of thinking. It's time to shut down the brain, and open up the
heart. So when you go to vote in the fall election, remember don't
think, just do. And do it for me. |