Really! How do you use them?

(John Spartan's Voice) "Well, he doesn't know how to use the three seashells."

>>11164477

I always figured it was a series of scrapings.

it involves pinching and scraping

don't have the fuckiest how that's in any way sanitary

Decent people shouldn't think too much about that

>>11164552
I love Alpha Centauri.

I thought they were buttons to operate a baday type device hidden in the bowl

>>11164638
fapping at quantum speeds

I'm sure people in the 1500s would not know how to use a modern toliet

The first sea shell sprays a liquid based bacterium that quickly breaks down and devours waste materials left on the afflicted area. The second sprays a compound of anti-microbial solution mixed in water and alcohol to rinse the area thoroughly. The third shell freshens the area and most likely douses the anal region with a chemical that causes farts to smell like flowers.

soooooooooooooooo... why sea shells?

>>11164850

Because they're pleasant looking.

>>11164850
why not?

>>11164820
>The first sea shell sprays a liquid based bacterium that quickly breaks down and devours waste materials left on the afflicted area. The second sprays a compound of anti-microbial solution mixed in water and alcohol to rinse the area thoroughly. The third shell freshens the area and most likely douses the anal region with a chemical that causes farts to smell like flowers.

The three seashells are actually half-seashells. As per >>11164502

You use the first two seashells to pinch the fecal matter and the third one to scape.

how is scrpaing your ass with a hard seashell preferable to soft toilet paper? If paper is no longer an option, is cloth available? Or a bidet-like system?

you dont know how to use the three seashells?

I used a real seashell a few years ago and cut the living fuck out of my asshole.

protip: your asshole bleeds like a motherfucker when cut.

>>11165002
Probably the seashells in the film were plastic, the film did not told us what material the seashells were made of.

I always imagined that you just used the shells to scrape, no grasping poops with them.

What happens if you got more than one log, eh? You'd run out of shells might fast.

Also, I don't think they're disposable.

>>11164850
Because it's a funny joke.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NoodleImplements

TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS FROM

>>11164917

>You use the first two seashells to pinch the fecal matter and the third one to scape.

Not only does that seem potentially painful but it isn't necessarily practical, hygeneic, or in character with the prim and proper/non-vulgar setting.

That's why I'll stick with my version.

>>11165092
Demolition Man, buddy.

>>11164624
this is the best explanation by far think you kind sir I'm going to sleep soundly now that this mystery has been solved

WHEN HE CURSES UP A STORM TO GET THOSE CURSE TICKETS PRINTED OUT TO WIPE HIS ASS WITH INSTEAD OF USING THE THREE SEASHELLS = LULZ

GREAT MOVIE, STALLONES FUNNIEST

>>11164638
>>11164638
>>11164638
>>11164638
>>11164638
>>11164638
HOW IN THE FUCKS
A FAT PERSON
USE THIS???????

I AM DURLAW!!!

>>11165441
>fat people
>future

what