Well guys.As your commissar it is my duty to ensure that morale remains high and that you know full well the superiority of mankind in comparison to the xenos filth.As such I declare a celebration of humanity and its superiority.
tl;dr
And of course. A moment of silence in remembrance of one of the Emperor's finest.
>As your commissar it is my duty to ensure that morale remains highMake a general order that the morale of every soldier must be high. Violators will be shot for insubordination.
>>8587380That is already in place.
Now then can anyone tell me what Commander Shepard did wrong here?
>>8587423only one eye was googlied.
>>8587441Wrong.You are obviously a filthy heretic and/or traitor.Thus you are subject to summary execution.
>>8587462She suffered the xeno to live!HERESY
>>8587423Resorted to psychological warfare on one xeno when the lasgun is more effective. Also ignoring the other xeno.
>>8587472VERY GOOD!You get a power hug and a cookie
The problem with these threads is that there's too much copypasta and not enough OC. Of course, I'm only contributing to the problem by being a lazy bastard, but I want to play some L4D before I go to sleep.
>>8587508SQUAD MORALE RESTORED
This thread ALWAYS requires this picture.
>>8587509I am a commissar not a fantastic writefaggot
Yes... Grow larger humanity... So we can have more play things.
And what did Commander Shepard do wrong this time?
>>8587601She did not use wooden ladders to reach cookies.
>>8587601Well she suffered a Xeno to live... again.Also Twister. Twister is a way of worshiping Slanneesh and doing it with a Xeno makes it DOUBLE HERETICAL.
>>8587638Wrong foul heretic!
>>8587650And by the will of chaos, I will troll again.
>>8587646Very good!Remember only duly authorised, blessed and trained members of the holy administratum or Imperial Assaninorium may engage in non-violent contact with Xenos lifeforms. Their sacrifice should be remembered and their faith should serve as a guide to us all.If you ever encounter a Xenos remember the three steps:Burn, kill, purge.
>>8587697You mean...Maim, rape and kill?
too much hurr durr 40k humanity threads.
>>8587724Wrong filthy heretic!Maiming does not kill and raping is heretical contact with xenos
>>8587697But if we burn them, doesn't that usually take care of the killing for us? And doesn't purging generally refer to the eradication of groups, not individuals? *BLAM!*
>>8587724no, it's rape, rape, rape
>>8587748Where there is one xenos there is more.Thus purging is necessary.And only in holy flame can you fully remove the taint of the xenos. Even their corpses must be burnt or turned over to the proper authorities for study.
>>8587748No you see the burning is to inflict horrible agony on the Xeno, to punish it for being a Xeno.Then you kill the Xeno. Then you purge the area of all traces that the Xeno ever existed. If there are other Xenos nearby then you have to start over with the burning and the killing.
I always love stories like these, the problem is finding them. I've yet to find any good source for first contact stories on the interwebs. Anyone out there know of some?
Out already? I have more Commissar-kun!
>>8588052I do love a good Humanity FUCKYEAR thread.This is some pretty good writefagging.
these stories are awesome.you should feel awesome.humans are fucking awesome.
More
>>8588194I like this guy.He's seeeeelleeeeeeeeeeeeee~!
Bring this thread back, Emperor damn it all!Gaunt is NOT pleased that this thread is dying.
>>8588414Two exemplars of Humanity Fuck Yeah
