There's always online tutoring if you're clever enough. It's not much, but you can eek out a living using your brain.

I think your pic covers it, bra.

Go to /k/ and ask them advice on joining the military.

if you have no debts and only owe cost of living stuff, go join the peace corp or amricore (idk if i am spelling those right). fills in a resume gap nicely, takes care of all of your needs as long as you stick with it, and one heck of a lot shorter and less dangerous than the military. plus you might be able to pick up some more skills. go to community college to finish a teaching degree, teach high school math or some shit.

Helping others does actually make you feel good

>relying on poker as a living
Full retard, man. Full retard.

>>3597959

lol. i actually started off just using it to pay bills while i was studying for actuary exams. i think i've probably burned that bridge with the resume gap & honestly have grown a deep hatred for wall street and insurance companies and all those pigs.

>>3597940

how much does online tutoring pay? i think my best option is to figure out some way to squeak by for a year or two while i teach myself some computer programming or something & then try to get into a grad school. are comp sci fags still getting decent jobs?

If you can be a decent teacher, OP, then teach HS economics.
It's in your field, and hopefully you know what the fuck you're talking about.
I never got a decent education as far as economics is concerned. I would have taken micro/macro in University, but there wasn't room in my schedule. The only economics class I had was a one semester course in highschool.
Our teacher smoked weed, I swear. And all we did was color maps and graphs. We didn't even make maps and graphs; we fucking colored them. And this was "economics honors."

>>3597941
I don't get it.
Does OP need to become a bigot?

>>3598040
i believe he was telling me to kill myself :*(

i've considered it

>>3597908
The economy went to shit in August, 07.

You never had a chance.

>>3597940
Seriously, what makes you think OP is even smart?

Outta college, he decided his best career path was poker...

POKER

>>3598078
You want to kill yourself.. because you don't have a job?

>>3598102
Not only that, but it's the only thing he's ever been passionate about.

It's an hero time, son.

>>3598028

i hate economics and would rather stock shelves at a supermarket then teach intro econ to high school kids. the entire field is bullshit based on bullshit smothered in more bullshit. let me sum up my experience in university.

freshman year: lol graphs and equations iz hard. if you can solve 2x+7=5 then you are guaranteed A's in these courses.

sophomore year: forget everything we taught you in freshman year, none of it is correct. lulz moar graphs and equations. if you can find the derivative of 3x^2 you will get A's in these econ classes.

junior year: hah fooled you again, forget everything we taught you so far. here is how economics actually works. write a paper on how manufacturing was moved to outside the US and why we aren't on the gold standard and you will get an A.

senior year: lulz we totally fucked with you. no one has any fucking clue how economics works and even econ phd's disagree on even the most fundamental theories of economics. sometimes one theory is applicable and other times another theory is applicable and basically there are so many variables you can go fuck yourself. just pretend you know what you're talking about and say what politicans and businesses want to hear and they'll pay you. good luck with your careers and thanks for that tuition money, faggots!

Download public domain content, make packs of it, sell it and hire referrals to sell it for you (and pay them 25% of the profit for each sale). Wonderful business without working. I developed this technique myself.

>>3598123
So is it that you disagree with what they taught you, or that you're so immature that you can't deal with reality once it was revealed to you?

>>3598102

haters gonna hate. i was well on my way to 6 figures playing about 25 hours of poker a week from my computer. i never intended it to be a long term career. in a perfect world i would have saved up enough money to start a small business and then go with that. i took a risk and got hit pretty hard.

a few of my friends have moved out of the country to continue playing but i dont really want to do that. thailand sounds creepy & in order to move to the UK or canada i have to get a full time job which kind of defeats the point of moving to play poker.

>>3597908
They banned it in like, 2004, which made it very difficult to transfer funds into poker accounts, so I was pissed that I couldn't farm money on fulltiltpoker. Then, you say this, and I fucking see a DoJ seizure on the website.

Don't worry, they're going to bring online poker back, except only major casinos are going to be allowed to do it. Maybe the libertarians have something right about government-created monopolies.

>>3598102
>butthurt faggot doesn't know how to use play poker effectively
>doesn't think it's a game of skill

>>3598146

neither, false dichotomybro. they came to the correct conclusion which is that there are way too many variables and that the assumptions they use in their theories are probably incorrect. as far as "not being able to deal with reality"... lol wtf are you talking about? its a bullshit pseudo science. it would be like studying physics for 4 years then they pull the rug out from under you and tell you calculus is actually flawed and gives you wrong answers and everything you have been studying is complete bullshit. there doesn't really exist a suitable analogy because there isn't anything else quite like economics.

>>3598153
>in a perfect world

You mean in a world where you weren't an idiot?

Why not play real life poker?

>>3598197
>Can't read sentences
>Thinks poker is a career

Why don't you just go back to scrounging change out of vending machine slots. I heard its a lucrative skill to have.

>>3598203
This is my exact point. If physics, in the 4th year, was like, HEY GUYS, WE DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON, there would be a (hopefully) small group of students who would throw their hands up in disgust and drop out. The rest, being well-adjusted and capable of nuanced thought, would take in this new reality and adjust their understanding of the world and of physics.

As I suspected, you were one of the loser dropouts who can't deal with nuanced thought. Sounds like you need to go into some kind of black-and-white work, like accounting. Or, preferably, like i said in my first post: do the rest of us a favor and swallow some lead.

tl'dr: /sci/ spends way too much time talking to a non-scientist about a not-science

>>3598186

you're referring to the port security act or whatever it was called. they were passing a bill to help keep out DEM EVIL TERRORISMISTS and some closeted gay faggot republican snuck in his anti gambling bullshit to appeal to his christian retard base.

it made it hard to deposit for a few months but then they got it sorted out. i believe the law was that US banks couldn't deal directly with gambling companies. so the poker companies just used a middle man. it seemed like a legit loophole but everyone knew that they were operating in a legal grey area. but for fucks sake we had full tilt poker and poker stars advertising on day time TV and sponsoring the WORLD SERIES OF POKER for years. lol the whole thing is just so bizarre.

meanwhile billionaire hedgefund managers gambled with american's 401k and pension money, lost, and then were bailed out by the US gov. not a single person even got demoted.

OP. There are a lot of people smarter than you who desperately need new kidney or liver. Think about it. Do you have a gun? Did you submitted a statement of will?

>>3598258
http://www.alternet.org/drugs/151135/american_banks_%27high%27_on_drug_money:_how_a_whistleblower_bl
ew_the_lid_off_wachovia-drug_cartel_money_laundering_scheme?page=entire

don't forget this shit
you know
drug laundering is not as bad as poker "laundering"

>>3598274
>>3598258
>>3598186
watch the pokerfags QQ about how they can't leech of the stupid anymore!

>We can't make a decent living off of doing nothing, bawww

>>3597908

Physical labor or come up with a great idea. Think of something simple that would help us in day to day life. What is something humans do not have that we need or would help us.

>>3598238

lol butthurt science fag. i didn't drop out, so you're attacking a straw man. also i pointed out that the physics analogy is horribly flawed, but you still went on to use it.

i think a better analogy would be something like psychology. or better yet, imagine trying to model someones behavior using math. basically its just complete bullshit. you don't have to look too far to see how much bullshit it is. imagine a world in which the head of the fed, ben bernanke, said something as retardedly wrong in 2005 as that there was no housing bubble. there couldn't be a housing bubble because housing prices have never dropped! this is the world we live in. a world where politicians and corporate interests might as well dictate policy because thats what jesus christ told them to do. oh wait... didn't bush say... boajdffjdkajfdkal fuck it im just gonna kill myself.

>>3598015
I made 10 bucks an hour talking to my laptop about science. Not the best, but certainly could be worse. Enough to pay the bills and give time to study the valuable stuff.

>>3598293
That's really for the best.

>>3598293
Also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mathematical_psychology

>>3598297
Yeah, it'd certainly help our unemployment numbers.

>>3598153

Not to worry OP you can come and live in my frontroom in England for £35 a week with everything apart from your own food covered.

>>3598281
>watch the pokerfags QQ about how they can't leech of the stupid anymore!

lol fair enough. maybe i'll just study a bit more math and go work for wall street. then i'll really be contributing something to society!

go play in a casino and get some sunlight you pussy

>>3598315
Theres the ticket!

I'm finally glad someone knows theres no difference between online poker and economic markets.

>Takes great skill, to bilk, swindle and bluff your way intto wealth.

>>3598346

the difference is people play poker for entertainment. hedge funds, on the other hand, are gambling with and causing instability in the value of people's pensions, 401k and life savings.

>>3598333
>Takes easy way through life
>fails miserably
>hurrhurrhurr you guys are smug

Stay classy, OP.

>>3598333
Perhaps some of us actually did sometthing after we graduated, OP.

Also, you're fucked cause every year a new round of graduates flood your field, and no one wants to hire you when your major accomplishment was stealing candy from babies.

>>3598293
The human brain is the most complex thing in the known universe. Now scale up one human brain to 6 billion different ones with different thoughts, education, wealth, and status all interacting in a vastly complex and interconnected society while trying to learn as much relevant information to make the best economic decisions for themselves. This is economics. There are some absolutes, but the economy is very much a chaotic system. The best "economists" are those who can see an underlying force or trend at work through all the chaotic noise, and position themselves to profit from it.

What did you think economics would be like?

>>3598309
This. Join the fucking navy, you can still be lazy and fuck with idiots while getting a steady paycheck.

>>3598371
Oh, you don't think hedge fund managers get a rush of adrenline everytime the stock market tanks and they try to reassert their positions and gain an extra million dollars before the computers realize that the market is lower?

Seriously, theres no difference.

>>3598384
Its no different than poker.

6 societies sitting around a table, with a limited number of good and bad resources, and depending on where the resources are and what the current bid is, you gett winners and losers, and they bluff, bilk and try to confuse one another to take the pot.

Just cause you spent billions of man-hours ttrying to understand the intricacies, doesn't make it more complicated than poker. I could say the same thing if we assumed a level of neuroscience that goes into each player.

>>online poker

go play real poker

>>3598393

You can get a good job with an econ degree if you're not some unmotivated, crybaby like the op.

I don't want to read the whole thread, but what College did OP go to? Perhaps he just went to a really shitty one.

>Join army
>Live on the streets, travel your whole life, use CouchSurf
>Craigslist, sell shit or look for jobs
>suck penis for cash
>Become a criminal
>Live with your family
>Become a welfare whore
>an hero

that's all I got

>>3598473
He obviously went to a shitty one if his idea of a career path was playing online poker.

lol thanks for the replies faggots

im coming down off amphetamine & i think it made me overly emotional and depressed. anyway, the majority of you guys really are massive douche bags. why would you guys be mean to a person reaching out for help? and on an anonymous messageboard? whatever. interesting thing is even though my life is massively fucked up right now its still probably better than yours. i'm smarter than you & will figure out a new way to make money without working too hard. enjoy the butt jelly.

>>3598487
Enjoy being a worthless pile of human garbage for the rest of your life.

Pic related, it is OP after his parents kick him out.

>>3598487
Probably cause we see you douchebags when you're getting rich on roulette and you act like some how you're not just arbitrarily winning at the game of life.

You know, it's the whole fact that we know you're really just a dumb fag, but can't prove it when you've won some short term lotttery.

gg.

/thread

just to clear it up before i go. went to a good state school but far from ivy. i started applying for jobs in sept 08, oct 08 was when AIG and the entire economy almost imploded. i then studied and passed 2 actuary exams and was probably on my way but then i started making about 4k a month playing poker. soon i was making more. later faggots.

>>3598526
I can putt numbers in excel too!@ PLEASE HIRE ME OP!

>oh well, back to gold farming

I feel for ya OP, I graduated at the top of my class and I can't find shit.

anyone talking down on you is just riding his high fucking horse because he's still in undergraduate research methods and he thinks he's special

these assholes that think unemployment is some sort of myth really don't understand how the market functions

>internet pokers

hahaha, get yourself a real job, like grinding gold in World of Warcraft and selling it on ebay

>>3598552

youth unemployment is around 25% which is pretty fucked up. its going to keep getting worse as universities continue to churn out more people who feel entitled to 30k+ a year salaries but no job skills other than being able to read and write at a college level. then the student loan bubble might burst, worsening the economy even more & all while babbys boomers are retiring and using medicaid and collecting social security checks. this upcoming decade is going to be interesting.

>economics
>easy major

where the fuck did you get this idea from?

Economics has a shitload of career opportunities too.

Are you seriously telling me there are no online poker sites now?

>so even though online poker still exists in a legal gray area, it has been wiped out.
> still exists
> been wiped out
So you can't do it without laundering money safely? Big deal, learn2bitcoin/online currencies. Or better yet, get some real skills instead of wasting time gambing.

>>3598594

>actuary exams

go be an actuary then, what the fuck are you complaining about?
There are a lot of people with no degrees in a similar position.

>>3598575
if the youth can't find opportunity, they're going to take it from the baby boomers who fucked them over in the first place in their quest for leisure.

interesting indeed.

>>3598552
I understand how the job market operates:

>Learn useless B.A. degree, realize no one has been hiring B.A. degrees since the 70's. Start whining, crying and begging people to hire you because you're white and privileged.

Sound familiar?

>>3598526
i jelly

what blinds did you play?

I know a guy who just graduated in May with an Economics degree and had a consulting job lined up for him before he even graduated. My guess is that OP is a lazy sack of shit, and didn't plan on actually having to sell himself to a company in order to get hired. Then again, my friend graduated Summa Cum Laude and interned at the Federal Reserve, so that might have had something to do with it.

Get a manual labor job. Nothing wrong with that.

>>3598668
Yeah, having a realistic outlook on reality helps you get a job.

OP just can't explain why he's retarded.

I have a bachelor's degree in math, magna cum laude, multiple academic awards. I am now working in a bakery.

Sometimes, you have to take what's available.

>3 year resume gap

"Self employed"

>>3598703
>So what did you do Anony?

Oh, I just ran a complicated divend re-investment scheme where I milked poorfags out of money.

>You're hired!

>>3598646
lol

and what do you do, genius?

inb4 big guy starts talking about his 12 inch epeen

>>3597908
You stop being a faggot, work harder and go to graduate school, then you beat the other thousand faggots going for the same job because you have a Masters.

If you only get a bachelors you shouldn't go to college at all save a few select degrees that change with the market.

>i had been raised in a time when people got paid to be well spoken, college educated and white.

Well I suppose you were just simply a victim of a perpetrated mind set made by people with inflated ego's who had no desire to learn pratical or sustainable skills that could actually grow with you in time rather then on a wim.

But then that would be too presumtuous of me now wouldn't it?

Whatever I'll get to the point, heres what you could do to help that resume.

-join a nonprofit organization
-volunteer for some youth group, maybe business related
-Join the military "like an anon eairlier has sugested"
-apply to another college, maybe community maybe state
-take part in economic projects and competitions online
-make friends online do some social networking for small opportunities relevant to your interest.
-start your own project or research article. Then post it on a blog be it personal or community and get some traction there.

Thats it really, if you're willing to invest some time and effort maybe lady luck will show some goodwill and help you out a little.