I have over 300 confirmed threadkills.

>>7495342
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo.
blox

I let the thread get a false sense of security and then slip my post in while it starts to wind down. Dead within minutes.

>>7495314 (OP)
I just post into oblivion until no one gives a shit anymore

>>7495314 (OP)
>How many threads have you terminated?
Too many to count.
>What is your life specialization that you draw your powers from?
That's classified information.
>Are you a one-liner master or you kill a thread with a paragraph of might?
I have a wide arsenal of lethal weapons at my disposal.

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>>7495377
I do it by checking those awesome dubs

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>>7495399
muthafuckin everteim

>>7495348

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class at Shitpost University, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on 9fag, and I have over 300 confirmed threadkills. I am trained in gorilla rustling and Im the top troll in the entire 4chan armed forces. Your thread is nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe it the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with posting that shit on the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Internet and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your thread. You're fucking 404'd, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill your thread in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare keyboard. Not only am I extensively trained in wasting bandwidth, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Troll Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable thread off the face of the Internet, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon your thread, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now your thread is paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over your post and you will drown in it. You're fucking Not Found, kiddo.

Sometimes, I speak a truth that ends it.
Other times I am merely being myself.

Truly a social weapon am I.

This thread is now a battleground between mega-block paragraph killer and the one-liner assassin.

>>7495399

shit fuck son

Trips can kill most threads

I if I don't kill a thread with a lengthy, thoughtful post that I'd really love insight from people who are more wise than me, the post gets ignored.

I've killed quite a bit though. What can you do.

Trips always kill threads
Czech em

>>7495774
Oh man, that must have hurt.

>>7495774

'We now have confirmation that the motive of the now deceased mass shooter was that one of his post numbers on an online message board did not end with three of the same numbers, or "trips."'

'The perpetrator was known as "Ian" on this website and commonly discussed his depression and lack of success with women.'

>>7495399
well shit mate

kidguy from /diy/ and /k/ here

probably around 5000 throughout my posting career

>>7495314 (OP)
>or you kill a thread with a paragraph of might?

If I kill a thread, it's like this. Oftentimes with my post being 15-20 minutes after the post above me was made.

I kill threads all the time.
It's usually a sentence or two, and they're usually entirely related to the thread.

but who will be the one to kill this thread

Every thread I post in dies
Particularly on Krautchan and interesting discussions on /v/ and /pol/

>>7495399
I do the opposite. I tell'em to check'em but dubs never come. Watch it now. One-hit-thread-kill.

I predict that this thread will ironically reach bump limit and 404 naturally because everyone wants to be the guy who killed the threadkiller thread.

>>7495986
I predict you'd be the one to kill it, since it was already at the point of losing momentum. It's already dying. You'd be..if not for me.

It's the most annoying thing, but it nearly always happens

watch me.

>not saging do you dont bump the thread

I got this.

>fuck a girl twice yesternight
>return home to my ex
>facefuck her
>sleep like a baby

>>7496124
But that's poor sportmanship.

>>7496135
okay, okay, can't argue there.

Alright, im going to sleep for a couple of hours and keep this open.

At that point ill take my victory.

>>7496147
To show fresh people that just got on /r9k/ this thread? I'd rather not. This post shall suffice as final.

No one can doubt that this post will be the final word of the thread.

The past three threads I've posted in died right after my post so I'm used to being ignored by now.

>>7496239
Fat chance. People who sage intend for the thread to die. That's not a real thread-killing, it's just senseless murder.

>>7496293
alrighty then, no saging this time.

>>7495314 (OP)
Many. I don't write very well in 4chan shorthand and I tend to engage people on a level which makes them uncomfortable on this website, often resulting in thread termination.

These thread killers are, more often than not, a few paragraphs in length.

>>7496603
Same, though I can't recall the last time I actually killed a thread, people just don't respond to my posts often. So alone.

>>7496709

You need to engage the reader, know the reader and how to entice them in a way for their glutes to be angered.

I usually go for the,

>Stay away from our asian women. Race mixing is wrong.

and it usually gets some people riled up.

>>7496727
I don't like to bait that much, save for one /vg/ general I attend. It's not so fun, baiting random people.

It just takes one person to admit to being the inadvertent cause of termination of most threads for this thread to die. If I actually wanted the thread to end I'd admit it.

>Post a sincere question on /sci/, I think it was something along the lines of the causes of Homosexuality
>Someone enters the thread and starts replying to people in the thread, seemingly posing as me, saying things I don't really agree with
>Someone else posts in the thread stating that the OP is probably here only to reinforce his own opinion and preconceptions and that the thread should be closed
>Mod closes the thread and I am banned from posting for a few days

I don't post on /sci/ anymore. They're quite the frightening bunch.

I usually type something that has nothing to do with the thread without adding any context...that works pretty well.

>>7495783
I was on the phone, shit sucks

>>7495821
No, that's too pathetic, maybe if I miss out on quads

>>7496889
I wasn't even trying then, but now that hurt

>>7496896
>>7496889
>hit a scriptless quints with Bateman pic, just by pure luck, skill and instinct combination on /b/
>barely get replies
I'm the master thread killer.

>>7495314 (OP)
Dude, sure-fire way to kill a thread is either
>Be realistic
>Or give realistic feasible advice/info.

That is sure-fire. Once you stop posting memes or posting extreme responses the best way to end a thread is be realistic. I can't even tell you how many threads I've killed just because OP was

>tfw no-gf
just being realistic about whatever situation you're in will end the thread.

Or posting something factual that'll kill a thread too.

My money is on me ending this thread.

>>7496925
>Or posting something factual that'll kill a thread too.

I've finished a few like that.

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I want this thread to last for a while until they'll be one guy who kills it

>>7495314 (OP)
i usually give good advice or a somewhat long post with incoherent sentences

It's been some time. How are you, guys?

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No, only I will kill this thread

>>7495314 (OP)

One line wizard reporting.

Maybe 10% of the time, somebody replies to my posts, but only if I said something stupid. like this post

This thread looks dead, I might leave the final words

>>7497265
haha, you wish.

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I put my ricky tripfag on and vent my feelings.

>>7497224
what a dumb post
how could u be so stoopid
top lel faggot

Thread dies with me usually telling another poster to "fuck off, normalfag".

a thread dies when no one is interested in OP's post
this thread will die at around 500 posts

>>7497322
seems you were wrong my son.... the only naysayer is the killer and winner. see you guys on page 10.

>>7498268
okay, i'll see you there, anon.

Nice, this still up. This reminds me of a boring story.

I tell ridiculous stories or situations but make them seem entirely plausible, string people along for a bit and then vacate the thread altogether, suddenly and without warning.

Anyone want to be my gf?

Anyone?

I will take anyone, please

>>7495314 (OP)
Threads are terminated whenever I reply to them

;_;

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Before I post the thread is already dead.

xxxbump bloxxx

This thread is stronger than it seems.

>>7499993
Becuase you guys keep bumping it every 20 minutes.

I kill threads sometimes. Never the ones I actually wish would die, though.
It sucks.

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Doubles is all I need to kill threads

>>7500006
They're bumps with bombs attached!
...To blow up the thread and kill it!

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>>7495399
>>7495399
>>7495399
>>7495399
[checking intensifies]

>>7500045
>>7500032
>>>/s4s/
go away

Usually happens on /r9k/. I post a genuine reply, and the thread instantly dies...

>inb4 thread dies...

It'll survive, forever and ever.

mentioning furries usually kills a thread; or at the very least, starts a hilarious temporary derailment.

>>7495314 (OP)
I kill threads by samefagging until everyone else stops posting.

>tfw no qt 3.1412t le gf

>>7500306
It will live forever until it eventually hits the bump limit in a week.

>>7502306
Son-of-a-bitch.

>>7502353
;)

i'm here forever, ill see you again in a few hours when i bump the thread again.

>>7502385
Good luck in killing this one, then.

I generally say something that I think is funny and then everyone leaves the thread.

It happens way more often than it should.

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>>7495399

Those are some really nice dubs, anon. :)

>>7495314 (OP)
I kill the thread with a question, creating a vortex of thought between the consciousness.

However, I've come in peace for the sake of this thread...or haven't I?

>>7503269
You came in peace, anon. I know.

>>7503672
well all came in peace.

>>7505044
we all* fuck

Doesn't take much effort to derail a thread really

I can derail ANY thread into a pedo/aoc debate thread within a matter of one or two posts. I've got it down to a art.

>>7505861
Saging is cheating

I once killed a young camwhore thread by posting pictures of a fat girl I went to school with, along with excerpts from a poorly written script she wrote which I pulled off of her school computer. She was dyslexic which makes it even better.

>>7505861
Teach us your ways master

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>>7495399
Those are some nice dubs, now check mine.

Around 53.

Being fucking annoying.

Neither, think zerg, I swarm them with hundreds of shitty posts.

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Don't you hate that? A thread seems promising, it looks interesting. You post, expecting others to continue the conversation, and BAM, it dies. You keep refreshing to see if anyone else posts, but they never do.
>tfw

Killing one right now as we speak

>>>/b/489514985

rest in pieces furries

when i see a thread i don't like i generally do a one liner and split. Sometimes it can be hard but i don't like to give them more attention than they deserve.

>post something relevant to the topic of a thread
>try to make it above averagely interesting
>check back 5 minutes later
>nothing
>check back 15 minutes later
>nothing

One line master. It's probably a curse more than a blessing.

One liner quick-kill master-race reporting. My number of confirmed kills is so high you can't even fathom it.

what's up, gaymboyz?

So close, yet so far

dcfgvh

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leave from here h

I like to kill threads with pointless, pedantic trivia.
For instance, the image in the OP reminds me that ninjas wearing swords on their backs is complete nonsense, as nobody would be able to draw a full-length katana from that angle. Your arm just isn't long enough.
Vid related:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IocQ_DZVAU0

>>7509915
I always assumed that was just storage when they're climbing a wall or something and they unsling it when it's to be used.

Only a lvl170+ threadkiller could kill this thread

it just sometimes happens. Though most of the time I see an interesting thread it already has 300+ posts so often I don't even bother posting since the discussion has died down anyways

I have killed eternal threads on multiple occasions

My post usually kills a thread.