So I just stood there gawking at him, too terrified to the point of insanity to do anything but collapse to the ground face first. When I got up, I crawled over to my plane, climbed in sobbing like a baby and soaking wet from the rain. The airfield police were there within a minute, he died seconds later. The ambulances came about five minutes later and he was taken away never to be seen again. Since I was a witness, I had to fill out some bullshit paperwork that took me two hours to finish. When I got home, I drank myself into a fucking stupor and passed out for another three hours. I woke up just a few minutes ago and I still cant get this shit out of my head. I'm certain I'm going to have nightmares about this shit for the rest of my goddamn life. I don't even fucking know why I'm posting it here, maybe /r9k/ can have sympathy.

What do you want us to say, exactly?

This isn't exactly something a lot of us here can relate to.

OP i recommend professional help or it will bring you down eventually. Call a therapist tomorrow or go to a doc.
You need help. /r9k/ can't heal your soul

did the police leave you a phone number that you could call if you needed something?

They should have a psychiatrist you can talk to for free. Shit helps whenever you witness something like that

This is fucking terrible OP.
Get professional help.
Reach out to your friends and family, talk about what happened, let them take care of you.

How did you afford a Cessna 150 when you are so young?

>no pics
/thread

>>5977352

Calling my therapist first thing in the morning.

>>5977361

Been saving up since childhood. Got it for around $18k.

>>5977267 (OP)
op the best thing to do when you see horrible shit like that is not to think about it ever. learn from his mistake and dont ever put yourself where the prop can get you.
if you cant do it yoursefl seek help to help lock it away

I once saw a dog get hit by a motorcycle. It was bleeding badly and started yelping white seizing.

Obviously your experience was much worse, but I'm sure with time you'll get over it

The dog survived

>>5977335
This. This is precisely the kind of shit you should see a therapist for. Do it post haste.

Why didn't you put the old man out of his misery? Did you enjoy watching him suffer?

OP after your therapist sessions, you should try your best not to think about the incident and mull it over so much.

thinking about it over and over won't make you feel better or lead to a resolution brah, it's probably best to try to move on.

>>5977267 (OP)
Everybody bleeds you wuss.

that does sound quite lovely, wish it happened to me

It's your fault for not looking at enough gore to desensitise yourself.

But seriously, though. This is the kind of thing you should go to a doctor for. Just don't take any drugs if he's a hack.

>>5977267 (OP)
OP just think. He's at peace. His suffering is over. Maybe you'll get to meet him in the afterlife, become friends. He's safe now.

If you can afford a Cessna 150, you can afford therapy.

Get yourself to a therapist, and don't skimp on quality

you've had a glimpse into what the universe is really like

you are among a privileged few, OP, use your new-found knowledge well

What happened to him? Did a propeller hit him or something ?

Go to a therapist, seriously. While your there try to work out your other issues, which you must have if you post here.

Wait, he was conscious the whole time?
Fuck man, that's truly terrible.

>>5977729
hahahaha wow u r fucking daft m8

Get help. Seriously, look into a therapist or something. The only thing I can tell you won't help, but here it is: That's life. I mean, it happens all the fucking time. We're just sacks of meat and shit. Right now some baby is probably getting destroyed in a car accident. I know it's brutal and you don't want to hear it, but you're going to have to accept it or you're never going to let this go.

I've seen some fucked up things too, not quite as bad as that, but seriously fucked up. Things that made me cry like a fucking baby. Things that shouldn't have happened, to creatures that didn't deserve it. I can't handle death well, but time helps. It always helps, as long as you're willing to just let it go.

i wonder how i would react to seeing something like that. obviously i've seen a bunch of gore online but it doesn't really compare to real life. i had a dream the other day that there were dead bodies buried in my grandparent's back yard and i was shocked in the dream, but i don't think that would actually carry over into real life

i think i would be bothered if i heard someone's dying screams in real life. for some reason loud noises bother me a lot

i guess the real shocker of the situation would be the surprise of it and the fact you were alone when it happened

Where did this happen?

This kind of thing is bound to at least be mentioned in the news somewhere.
I want confirmation.

>>5977882
Not finding anything myself on Google. Sounds fishy.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=1ae_1273782186

could've seen worse.

Try being a paramedic dealing with shit like that is your job. Buck up.

>>5978058

why do people become paramedics anyway? is seeing mutilated bodies really worth 40k a year to normals?

I'd say you have a weak stomach, not sure if that helps.

>>5978079
>I make more than 40k a year.
Its fun and exciting job and i do believe it is worth the money. Dealing with assholes is the only draw back.

>>5977267 (OP)
Ok mate, speaking as a pilot myself, I'm going to echo the calls for therapy and add a few things.

Speaking as someone who's seen a messy violent death up close as well, distract yourself in the immediate future, overload yourself so much with shit to do that you can't spare the time to think about it. Once the sting of it has faded a bit, allow yourself to deal with it in addition to the therapy.

Don't even start to blame yourself for not responding or collapsing or whatever, everyone has their own reactions to these sorts of things. The old guy was, by the sounds of it, hand starting his engine, and apparently did not take the proper safety precautions. ENTIRELY his fault, and he would have known better. You did not see him and there is nothing you could have done to stop him doing it and ending up dead.

DO NOT go flying until you have sorted this shit out and your therapist is confident in your recovery, the memory of this could distract you at a crucial moment or impede your ability to fly.

Drink to deal with it by all means, but ONLY in company, don't drown your sorrows, get together with some close friends, get smashed, and it will all come out.

Why did you not take pictures

>>5978098

well that was based on the median salary

annyway im just jealous because i would become a paramedic if they offered it around here since im not really bothered by gore and chances are you arent going to run into mutilated corpses every day. although smelly week old bodies would be kind of shitty to deal with

You should have cum on his exposed innards OP.

you should have taken pics. And then convulse and pass out. Your bros are first

draw a picture maybe it will help

>>5977965

Aw dude...he was fucking ground beef...

>>5978179

Not a bad way to go though all things considered. Probably didn't feel much pain and didn't see it coming, that's for damn sure. Just one second he's there and boom he's gone.

theres nothing you couldve done man. dont start to beat yourself up and stress about it. what happened happened. Ive seen some shit and you just gotta keep telling yourself this.

>>5977965

I frequent r/morbidreality and r/watchpeopledie and nothing has been more disgusting than this.

pics or it didn't happen

tsnves great

>>5977267 (OP)
That sucks man. Sucks bad. Sorry you had to witness that. As a pilot you know... Stay away from the prop. That's lesson #1. Safety. Common. I'm certainly not saying he deserved it.. but damn. Stay away!

>>5978301
>I frequent r/

Go back there then. Fucking rebbit.

Ha! That's nothing, I was in nam you little faggot.

>>5978301

how is that disgusting? it's kind of interesting his body is evenly distributed as a fleshy paste, but i wouldn't say disgusting

>>5977267 (OP)
Try being a police officer or EMT. Former EMT, been working a patrol officer for close to 5 years. Granted, I work in a relatively small county and my 15 blocks to patrol is somewhat peaceful but just like any other place we get our share of DUI and accidents.

Waking up and sitting down with the nice elderly lady who has been cutting your hair for the last 10 years. Having to sit there and explain that her husband was all but decapitated and grand daughter had been violently eviscerated by flying glass shards until she bled out. Going to bed that night seeing the 1-2 inches of sinew barely keeping the grandfather's head attached at an almost 90 degree angle, hands still gripping the steering wheel. The old man was changing the radio station but underestimated how weak his grip on the wheel was with his remaining hand. undercompensated on the turn and took the blade of a snowplow head on at 55mph into the drivers window. I love my job and I wouldnt do anything else but those are the days that make me consider quitting

OP im so sorry you had to see that. no one should have to go through something like that. i can kind of relate though (not about seeing someone die but i can relate on having something extremely traumatic happen to you and trying to get over it) I found that talking about it helped but honestly i think time is your best friend in a situation like this. It took me about a solid year to get over it and even still if i really really get into detail explaining or thinking about what i saw i tend to shiver again so maybe im not 100% over it but with eachtime i talk or think about it it seems to become easier to accept. (when i was 16 i went completely insane on acid, i was never suicidal before but while i was tripping i tried to kill myself, i convinced myself i was in some state of hell, i choked my friend, got arrested, etc. big fuckin mess, i had way more than i was ready for, easily the worst day of my life but it also gave me a newfound appreciation for how delicate life is). I'm not comparing my experience to your's op, i can only imagine how awful it mustve been to watch that, but im saying i understand what its like to be traumatized and its good that you're talking about it already i think if you hold shit like this it might only make things worse. im really sorry that happened to you op that sounds fucking horrible

It took you however many years (20?) to see death for the first time. Imagine how fucking lucky you are for waiting out that long.

>>5979133
666edgy666me

Go cut youself, kid

>>5978301
go back to rebbit you fucking nigger

Sorry OP, that's pretty horrific. I suggest you get counseling immediately.

My father used to be a private pilot. 172. I didn't pay too close attention to the preflight checklist... but isn't there some mechanism to prevent the engine from igniting before you want it to (like preventing the spark plugs from operating?)

I do remember him always yelling out 'CLEAR' before starting the plane. Seems that usually he'd only do it like a second or two before starting it so if someone was there they'd only have a split second to get out of the way.

>>5977267 (OP)
Damn son, that shit's wack as fuck.

Hope you seek counselling or somehting to help you through it, shit must be more mixed up than a drunk alcoholic in your noggin right now.

Look on the bright side OP, you can get a new Banonza for dirt cheap

For him, the struggle is over. He is better off.

>>5977267 (OP)

I tried feeling bad for OP but I'm not because only rich fuckers can afford pilot licences and their own airplanes.

Actually the cheapest thing you can do is desensitise therapy to the RL gore you just saw. I think rotten.com was how I got over it.

That's how I got over my molestation at 11.

Much cheaper than drugs and less side-effects

>>5977303
Do you have assburgers

>>5979700
Airplanes are really not that expensive, the training and maintenance are much more expensive over the long term than the actual purchase. Furthermore, plane-sharing partnerships are very common, where a bunch pf planebros get together, buy a plane, and rent a hangar.

>>5979754

So it is expensive.

That sounds pretty fucked up OP.

No offense, but you handled the situation like a fucking omega pussy. You're not the first person in history to see blood and guts, princess.

>>5979770
Yes, but not Richie Rich expensive

Ive actually had a minor breakdown after a fair bit of violence and trauma on a job(detention officer/paramedic)

Im not going to start dick measuring in terms of what Ive seen.

You werent prepared for that, and that makes a lot of difference in how well you can handle it.

Ok check yourself over the next couple of weeks for this type of thing.
Sleeplessness
irritability
Lack of concentration
teeth grinding. tense muscles.
mood swings.

Your reaction now is actually good, you are trying to process something which is "jamming your gears", the secret is to acknowledge "Yes that was terrible, but it has passed".

If, after a week or 2 you are still dwelling excessively over this go and talk to someone proffesional. For now just vent/talk to someone you know and trust.

For what its worth, that degee of trauma the bloke couldnt have been saved if it happened inside an ICU/trauma unit, so dont think you could have saved him
And another point, he would have been out of pain extremely quickly, most of what you see in cases of extreme damage (hoarse breathing, arm movements) are the body on complete auto-pilot, it looks/sounds terrible, but the brain has already checked out.

>be chilling on cop in afganistan
>go take a piss
>OH SHIT MORTARS
>rush out of porta potty
>first thing i see is a pair of legs with blood spewing out of the torso
>two privates are blown in half, still twitching
>my lt has his head crushed in with his brains leaking out onto his chest
>come home
>be on r9k
>this thread

only booze will save you now, OP.

>>5978610
Did you go to academy in the east or west?

>>5977267 (OP)
Fuck you. You know why? You can have your terrible images and share all you want but you had to say:
>You think you've seen some fucked up shit?

Did you ever hear about the bosniak robot who saw his family all killed in front of him?

Or did you see the medical thread which was yesterday with diabled/amputee robots including one with no legs?

No you had to come here with MY SUFFERING IS SO MUCH WORSE GUYS. Well it isn't.

>>5979401
like a fucking KEY

Literally there's a key on the cessna 152 that stops the shit from firing. I don't know about bonanzas though

>>5979906


Not defending OP too much but a fair difference is how prepared you are for shit happening..

Now trauma when it happens too you is bad (duh), but you have to adjust.

When it happens out of the blue it can fuck with your head a little more.

I have nothing but respect for people with disabilities who make a life for themselves as best they can.
Im probably going to be completely deaf in 10 years, there is nothing I can do but try and deal with it (60+DB loss already). But i think thats different in how it affects you than if someone you cared about had the same thing.

Its easier to "feel" for others.