cause i wrestled god and 1

I'm ALPHA AS FUCK because I sage without impunity.

I'm not.

Who the fuck cares about this shit, it's a header. Every time something new happens, this shit takes over the front page and everyone screams about it.

i so apah i don ev ned gramir oar spleing

I'M SO ALPHA I SHIT OATZ

because 7 inch girth

>>9864854
I'm alpha as fuck because I ignore other people who think they are alpha and do whatever the fuck I want.

this girl said she loved me so i fucked her in the back of my truck the box on a peice of wood then never spoke to her again

I'm assertive, articulate and very dismissive of criticism.

i.e. I pwn conversations

i can wall climb

BECAUSE I'M IN THE TOP 5

I have a 10/10 gf
eat well, work out, fucking swole
college degree and make 60-75k a year freelance
nice car, nice house
plenty of friends
drug dealer but not a thug

I am the beta-male in 'my group' of friends.

>>9864929

>thinks talking louder than everyone else is dominant
>thinks never taking advice from others is dominant
>thinks lying on the internet makes things true

I am not a nigger who boasts around trying to be all alpha and shit.

Still, I get more pussy than the pathetic jocks who use the PUA-clown hoax methods.

Its because I am not a faggot.

I'M ALPHA AS FUCK BECAUSE I PLAYED THROUGH PERSONA 4 TEN TIMES
TEN
FUCKING
TIMES

BITCHES DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY BROTAGONIST

>>9864989

Fuck yea. PUA is shit-tier. If you need a guide to get laid your genes shouldn't live on.

>>9864975

Fucking dommed and intimidated you didn't I? Little pissy pants shitebag.

>>9865034

>responded to obvious troll post
>not a real alpha

protip: if your dominant you don't need to say your dominant

>>9864990

YEAH WELL I BEAT THE UNHOLY CATHEDRAL IN DOOMRL

>>9864975

You're oone of those guys that thinks masculinity = thuggery, aren't you?

Mummy's boy wanker, ha ha ha.

ALPHA AS FUCK because I make everyone around me feel inadequate and uneasy.

>>9865055

being Alpha shows the ability to sense ironic humour, mental cripple.

I'm that guy you dread being there when your girlfriend goes out for the night.

>only reply to every 5th text from her
>ALPHA AS FUCK

>>9865082

>still responding because hes butthurt
>lashes out with insecure immature childish attacks
>still not an alpha

ALPHA AS FUCK because I shit on kids at video games, mock them and yet openly acknowledge that their abilities were predetermined at their birth, and they had no control over whether they were worse than me or not.

Hypocrisy, and I don't give a fuck.

I fucked a black girl and she said I was the biggest she's had.

I'm white.

>>9865068

>projects his own mommy's boy issues onto me
>is successful at entertaining me
>i cordially invite you to continue posting

I'm smarter than my peers...... I'M ALPHA AS FUCK

I have a lot of money in my bank account.... I'M ALPHA AS FUCK

I got flawless dance moves..... I'M ALPHA AS FUCK

I got into liftan again this summer.... I'M ALPHA AS FUCK

I don't got a neckbeard.... I'M ALPHA AS FUCK

>>9865148

Nice honest confession there, boy. Now make me a cup of tea, two sugars.

BITCH IM AT ALL THE PARTIES

THINK YOU CAN DRINK ME UNDER THE TABLE? YOU WISH, FAGGOT

I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT AGE 7 WITH A HOT AS FUCK 28 YEAR OLD MODEL. SOME CALL IT MOLESTATION, I CALL IT BEING PIMP DADDY SUPREME

I WORK OUT EVERY FUCKING DAY AND COULD CRUSH YOUR LITTLE BITCH SKULL WITH MY PINKY ALONE

WHILE YOU LISTEN TO YOUR FAGGOT ASS NEUTRAL ORANGE JUICE MOTEL SHIT IM THE FUCKING CLUB LISTENING TO FUCK BALLER ASS LIL WAYNE AND PUNK RAWWWWWWWWWWWWK


FUCKIN ALPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHAAAAAA

>talk to a female over the internet

ALPHA AS FUCK

I'm ALPHA AS FUCK because I don't cosplay.

>>9865181

>he still responds over and over because he's still a try hard fake dominant
>watch him respond again because his pride has been hurt

>>9865177

I'm your mommy's man, kid. I'll maybe let you beat me at running tomorrow when I take you to the beach so your self-esteem doesn't fall too far. I'll turn you into a man yet.

>>9865180

I eat most things covered in hot sauce... I'M ALPHA AS FUCK

Biiiitch, I work out to the fucking Duke Nukem theme..... again, ALPHA AS FUCK

>>9865219

>does as he's told like a good little beta male

I came on Moot. I'M ALPHA AS FUCK

>start work at a new place
>there's a female employee
>she smiles as I walk past
>she wants to fuck

>>9865208

I accept your uncomfortable with all the attention from a real man, son. Makes you scared you're going to start taking it in the ass, eh? I'll push a nice gentle girl your way.

>green textan

Come at me, bro

I'm a strong motherfucker, I fuck twelve year olds.

Oh boy, 4 chan is going through it's alpha phase.

First it was weeaboos
Then it was nerds
Then it was hipsters
Now...it's alphas...

Bitches ain't nuttin' but skanks and ho's

ALPHA AS FUCK REPRESENT

Remember boys, being a man is being an asshole to everyone.......... kindness only gets you fucked in the ass lol!

>>9865243

Still projecting your stuff. It's OK to have feelings, kid. Real men don't wallow in them like bitches.

Ironic thread is ironic.

Neckbeards alpha as fuck?
Yeah, alpha in WoW maybe.

Moot is laughing at your virgin asses, thats what the new title means.

inb4 trolled.

>>9865300

If a bitch doesn't get down on her fuckin knees like she's supposed to 5 minutes into being alone with her, I throw her ass out.

>>9865276

>he fucks dudes
>fucking dudes automatically disqualifies you for alpha status
>you will keep responding and defending yourself though because you are a competitive beta male

>>9865313
Wow, look at this dumb little faggot, he's just jealous of our huge cocks, hot girlfriends, and swollen upper body. What a fucking loser lol.

>>9865312

THE ONLY FEELING WE ALPHAS HAVE IS KICKING ASS AND PLOUGHING PUSSY

>>9865323

Thats not alpha. Thats being a butthurt virgin.

>>9865337


Kiiid should start liftin weights and listenin to GANGSTA SHIT

I'm a skinny 5'11 155 pound 21 year old . I was at this house party acting a drunken fool. Anyways this one girl was like "HEY YOU LOOK LIKE NAPOLEON DYNAMITE! SAY SOMETHING IN A NAPOLEON VOICE!"

and I was like "BITCH, WHY DON'T YOU SUCK MY FUCKING DICK?"

her boyfriend was sitting down right behind, he suddenly gets up and in a very angry tone says "EXCUSE ME?"

I turn around and look at him and say "SIT THE FUCK BACK DOWN!" to my surprise he actually did it. I've never felt so alpha in my entire life.

>>9865343

But the thing is, bitches can't resist me because... I'M ALPHA AS FUCK

>>9865312

>still butthurt
>you keep responding
>you can't drop it and ignore it and move on
>your so alpha (btw this is *sarcasm*)

>>9865337

ROFFLEMAYOBARBEQUE

>>9865343

BTW YOU'RE A FAGGOT

>>9865382

LOLUMAD

madbloxxorz

>>9865334

More honest greentext confessions from my little protege. I still love you even though you're gay, son.

>>9865397


NO YOU'RE A FAGGOT BLOW ME YOU FUCKING FAIRY SERIOUSLY I'M ALPHA AS FUCK YOU'RE BETA

BTW, GUESS WHO JUST BENCHED 213.... SHIT IS SOOOO CASH

because I am a honed and proven killer. I am intelligent, adaptive, skilled and fast as fuck.
I am a gentleman of discriminating taste and an intellectual.

>>9865362

More ironic posts from protege two. You'll get self awareness as you get more mature, kid.

I always go here when I want to laugh at butthurt virgins.

But this thread is lethal. I best GTFO before I laugh myself to death.

>>9865313

Have you seen Moot? He may own 4chan, but that guy is far from alpha. mfw

>>9865399

>projecting his own homosex onto me
>not self aware enough to stop responding either
>you are a very tattered piece of string, wrapped around my longest, gnarled claw

Authentic ego-less stoner alpha funmancer.

>>9865421

You got me there man...

I can get through a doorway without having to go sideways... Im so beta -__-
I wish I was as alpha as you...

I think I am going to an hero now ;___;

>>9865435

Moot likes it up the ass FYI...

ALPHA BRAHMERO'S GUIDE TO ACTING LIKE AN ALPHA MALE

STEP 1 GET BUFF

ALPHA MALES R ALWAYS RIPPED AND TUFF SO U GOTTA PUMP UR BICEPS IN CURLS OVER 5000 TIMES A DAY JUST GET YOUR BICEPS REALLY BIG BECAUSE THATS ALL GIRLS WILL LOOK AT IN DA CLUB ;) ALSO IF U CAN GET YOURE EYEBROWS PLUCKED BITCHES LOVE IT

STEP 2 ACT LIKE YOUR THE SHIT

ALPHA MALES R ALWAYS BETTER THAN U AND NEVER ADMIT WHEN THEIR WRONG ADMITTING YOUR WRONG IS A SIGN OF WEAKNESS SO TO BE ALPHA MALE ALWAYS SAY YOUR THE SHIT FOR EXAMPLE IF YOU PRONOUNCE SOMETHING WRONG AND SOMEONE CORRECTS YOU SAY THIS TO THEM "FUCK U FAGGOT I CAN SAY IT WHATEVER WAY I WANT YOUR SUCH A BETA" (SAYING THIS IMPLIES THAT YOU ARE ALPHA)

STEP 3 ALWAYS SAY YOUR ALPHA

MOST OF UR ENERGY OVER THE DAY SHOULD B DEVOTED TO TELLIN PPL THAT YOUR BETTER THAN THEM SUBTLY THIS WAY THEY KNOW YOU ARE ALPHA AND NOT TO QUESTION YOU. DO NOT LET SOMEONE MAKE ANY REMARK WITHOUT SAYING THATS SUCH A BETA THING TO SAY OR LOL YOU ARE SUCH A BETA (PS THIS ALSO CONVINCES YOU THAT YOU ARE EVEN MORE ALPHA THRU POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT)

STEP 3.5 STOP MASTURBATING

ALL ALPHA MALES NEED TO STOP MASTURBATING TO BE THEIR MANLIEST IT IS A WELL KNOWN FACT THAT THE LONGER YOU STOP MASTURBATING THE MORE MANLY YOU ARE BUT IF YOU HAVE LOTS OF SEX YOU ARE EVEN MORE MANLY THATS HOW IT WORKS DONT QUESTION IT

>>9865481

STEP 4 ASKING QUESTIONS IS NOT ALPHA

ALPHA MALES NEVER NEED TO ASK QUESTIONS BECAUSE THEY HAV ALL THE ANSWERS. WHEN U DONT ASK QUESTIONS U PUT YOURESELF IN THE DOMINANT POSITIONE BCUZ ITS LIKE U KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING ALL THE TIME

STEP 5 SAY PEOPLE AROUND YOU LOOK TIRED

WHEN U GET SOMEONE TO ADMIT THAT THEIR TIRED YOU AUTOMATICALLY HAVE DOMINANCE OVER THEM BCUZ THEY ADMITTED YOU WERE RIGHT SO YOU ARE DOMINANT SO ALWAYS SAY PEOPLE ARE TIRED BECAUSE IT LETS THEM KNOW YOU SEE THAT THEIR TIRED (PS THIS IS NOT A MOVE I LEARNED FROM WATCHING GIRLS BE CATTY WITH EACH OTHER I SWEAR)

STEP 6 ALWAYS SAY I LOVE YOU TO MEN

DA MOST IMPORTANT STEP TO BEING ALPHA MALE IS TO BE ABLE TO HUG A MAN AND SAY "I LOVE YOU MAN YOU ARE A GREAT FRIEND AND I CHERISH YOU AND YOUR FRIENDSHIP, I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU TO MAKE YOU HAPPY BECAUSE I AM JUST THAT ALPHA MALE"

PS IF YOU WANT DOUBLE BONUS ALPHA MALE POINTS
ALWAYS
ALWAYS
ALWAYS (THIS PART IS CRUCIAL)
BE AS COMPETITIVE AS POSSIBLE AND TRY TO ONE UP EVERYONE YOU SEE BECAUSE THEY NEED TO KNOW JUST HOW ALPHA U RLLY R!!!

>>9865439

Hey, seriously. Should I tripfag? Could be lulzy.

>>9865481

Oh shit man! No wonder why I am still a virgin! I have completely forgotten how important it is to tell everyone around me that I am so fucking alpha, just to make sure they know!

Thanks man! I am going to get some pussy now!

>>9864854
I am not alpha as fuck. I am a large beta who gets pushed into alpha situations a lot. When the shit hits the fan, I demand immediate attention and response and shit gets done quickly. Any other time, I'm just a laid back helper monkey.