Why the fuck were you fapping in the living room?

>>9740103
Yer, why

Cause we didn't have wireless, and the modem was in the living room. Shit sux.

>>9740103
>>9740141
Because thats where everyone in my family goes to masturbate.

>>9740161
Lol sux to be u.
Ive gone thru life, without ever being caught fapping, and i really hope it stays that way

>dad comes home drunk
>beats up my moms, slaps me around for a bit
>throws me out of the house and locks me out
>he has loud sex with my mom which I'm pretty sure was against her will
>acts like nothing happened the next day

>>9740161
Nice job there.

It's not like he walked in with my cock in my hands, or with me firing off a load. It was subtle enough for him to be a douche about it.

I don't know why he was such a prick about it. God knows he probably does it, and he has a room with a locking door. Fucking asshole.

>>9740227
I feel really bad for laughing at that.

>>9740250
I know that if i was a father and i caught my kid fapping i would have fun with that

>>9740227
your dad was alpha as fuck
that bitch wanted it

Why are you all so retarded when it comes to fapping? Ive never even came close to being caught in the act.

Fap in your bed at night, cum on your stomach, rub it in, body moisturizer.

If you need porn to fap, download it and put it on your ipod.

>>9740336
>Fap in your bed at night

Boring.

>>9740336
The iPod I have now is a Nano, and that would be too small to enjoy.

And I cum in napkins and the like. I usually either flush them or throw them away after 4 or 5 rounds.

Parents catch you fapping...
Look them in the eyes and finish like a champ

>dad commits suicide
>after trying to kill mom
>trollface.jpg

my mom told me that weed made you schizophrenic. but i believed everything she said, because she punished me if i didn't.

>>9740336
>Watching porn on a fucking iPod
What are you, 12?

>>9740408
my Mom told me that too

>>9740395
How did he trollface after he died?

>A couple years ago, my stepfather found my hentai stash.
>Family dinner
>He's talking to my younger brother, who just mentioned he's watching anime.
>Stepfather: Anime's gay.
>Me: What? It's just action cartoons.
>Stepfather: Oh, yeah, whatever. But that anime, cartoon porn? That's for faggots.
>Looking at me while saying that.
>Grin as I take a bite of food. The asshole knows as well as I do I've got a steady girlfriend and get laid on the regular.

>>9740427
He cut his face off with a chainsaw, and it resembled trollface.jpg

>>9740428
you sound like a huge faggot, and your stepdad is probably nailing your girlfriend

>>9740474
I'm not.
He's not.

Enjoy your misery.
I'll enjoy my girlfriend who thinks I have a couple of stupid hobbies and interests but still loves me and my cock.

i've been caught three times fapping between the ages of ~14-17 (not with my dick out, but my various family members definitely knew what was up). i only realised that this was kinda weird when my boyfriend asked me if i had ever been caught, (i later realised this was half-jokingly), and i said yes. he still won't stop telling me how weird that is.

>>9740408
i think all psychedelics have a possibility of triggering it in people predisposed to it...

>Wake up today
>So son, today is the graduation ceremony at the high school. You going?
>No
>Well, I'm sure there's a party or something afterwords, right? I know one of your friends must be doing something.
>If there is I wasn't invited
>You could call someone.
>I don't know anyone..
>Come on, 2000 people in the freaking school and you don't know anybody?
>Not enough to call them
>You need to meet people more.
>I try
>Whatever. I'm going out, take care of your mom, OK? I won't be back till about 1AM, going to a concert. You know, because I actually have a life, unlike some other people.
>My face

Actual conversation..
He means well, but god damn it depressed the fuck out of me.

>>9740531
What was the concert?

>>9740542
Forget. Hot Tuna, I think.

Not be but my friend

>I go over to his house and spend the night often
>His step father hates him and wants him out of the house
>Randomly checks his room for random stuff
>Calls him a faggot because he has male friends sleep over
>He is super nice to me all the time though
>The step dad hits him in the face and says no more of that gay shit with anon
>5 years later he has 2 different kids with 2 different girls
>He is addicted to drugs and jobless

I see him at the store after not talking to my friend in about 3 years, mention the kids to him
>"Well at least you know he isn't gay"
> "I never thought he was, I just wanted him to leave so I could use his room as an office"

>In kitchen with my dad, looking for something to eat
>Talking about World Cup and some other shit
>Conversation somehow ends up about his trip to Mexico
>Says how i should go the next time he goes, mentions that mexican girls are the way to go-they cook and make for good wives
>I say nah jokingly say they all look like natives and i prefer white bitches
>with a serious face Well Im starting to worry, you might turn out gay, by your age i had busted multiple nuts in actual pussies and had two kids
>meh fuck it ill eat later

>>9740694

that's where you reply something like

>yeah! and look at the winner you've become now!

>>9740776

i once did, his answer went along the lines:

>i'm sure if you had been in my situation you would have ended being one of those yard working mexicans who are treated like shit, living in some shitty trailer, getting drunk on the weekends to hide your failures
>then laughed

scary thing he could have been right

>>9740879

oh god you are a fucking sombrero wearing, taco eating, burrito fucking mexican?

just tell your dad hes a god damned mexican

Anyone else have anything to add?

howwasthisnotoriginalblox

>>9741004
Way to kill your thread.

>14 years old
>Only TV in the house is in living room
>Watch it at 2 AM, porn is suddenly on
>Fapfapfapfap
>Hear dad walking down the hallway
>Switch channel and put dick back in pants as fast as possible
>Dad explains that he just woke up, grabs a beer, then sits down to watch TV with me.
>Makes slurpy noises and breathes heavily the entire time.
>Leaves 30 minutes later
>My penis is inverted by this point.
>His face

Oh gosh darnit those damn parents op! they are so lame XD They won't let me fap on the coach either!

>>9745469
>fap on the coach

I don't even

>>9745469
>fap on the coach
wat

>My father was drinker. And fiend.
>One night goes off crazier than usual.
>Mommy gets kitchen knife to defend herself.
>He doesn't like that. Not-one-bit.
>So - me watching - takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it.
>Turns to me, and says, "why so serious, son?"
>Comes at me with knife... "Why so serious?"
>Sticks the blade in my mouth...
>My face.

>fap on the coach

>Me, first born and only daughter, is being born.
>Dads supported football (British, so soccer) team is playing.
>Dad refuses to come to hospital with my now in-labour mother unless there's a tv with the game on in the waiting room.

And for reference, said team is shit and probably lost. Cheers, dad.

>>9745738

Yeah but you're a girl, I wouldn't give that much of a shit either.

>>9740531
Your dad sounds pretty cool.
You sound like a faggot.

>>9745837

Just get laid, will you. Virginity isn't boding well for you.

>>9740497
>Get a girlfriend
>Have to mention her in every post on 4chan
Honestly no one cares about you and your weeaboo girlfriend

>>9745909

Married with kids, brah. Nice try, though.

>>9745965
>brah
>brah
>brah
>brah
>brah
>brah
>brah
>brah

>>9745965

I take it you don't have a daughter?

>>9745965

>implying marriage means you get regularly laid

>Parents come home high
>Leave me and my brother alone
>I'm 2 and he's 1
>They leave him in a bathtub full of water
>Trollface.jpg

>>9745975

What gave me away?

>>9745983
>implying I wasn't responding to being called a virgin

>>9740556
Smilecat, you're a bro. I'll be your friend.

>>9740336
> cum on your stomach, rub it in, body moisturizer.

>Dad comes home drunk
>I'm sitting on the couch watching some TV
>Starts talking to me, but pretty much nothing coherent comes out
>Asks me if I had smoked pot( this was 5 years ago)
>I say yea with a couple of my best friends
>He starts talking more nonsense
>I say I'm tired and want to go to bed,
>Fall asleep
>He starts playing music so fucking loud wakes up the whole house
>Try to get him to turn it off
>I have to wait until he passes out to turn off the fucking music
>trollface.png

>mom wonders why i am one of the only 16 year olds in the world who doesn't have a boyfriend
>insinuates that i like the poon
>get a boyfriend
>tell mom
>she establishes new rules and curfews
>i've never had a curfew or rules before
>boyfriend wants to show respect to my mother so he comes over to meet her
>she looks at him once and asks him if he's gay

>some years later
>mom asks why i'm still single and have no friends
>"BECAUSE I FOLLOWED YOUR RULES"
>"haha you're a loser. my mother was way more strict than me and i still went out and had fun."
>23 years old, no husband or kids
>feels bad man

>>9746120
>23 years old, no husband or kids

This is a problem at 23? what

>>9746120

>implying that being 23 and married and/or parent is a good idea

>>9746119

my dad did shit like that. it was unbearable.

>>9740227
How does it feel to know your mom has a shitty judgment of character?

>>9746120

>23 years old no husband

SURE IS TROLL IN HERE

>>9746190
>>9746208
It's not. But this is what happens when you're the only normal woman in a family of cock-gobbling whores.

>19 year old cousin who has no place of her own has baby
>everyone is happy
>I get into college
>Nobody cares

Story of my life.

>>9746295
People in this thread have fucked up families.

Get some balls, and disown your families. Not worth the hassell. You don't owe them shit if they've been assholes, just because you're related by blood.

>>9746120

Most likely you're single because you're fat. Why don't fatties ever understand this and try to blame it on something else?

>>9746120
>23 years old, no husband or kids

She probably expects you to be one of those leeching whores.

>>9746295
>everyone is happy

PROTIP: they were pretending.

>>9746120

>GIRL PRETENDS IN BEING SINGLE AT 23 IS THE WORST THING THAT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU

OH BOY IN BEFORE RAGE

>>9746318
I don't if it was because I wasn't clear or you can't read. Me being single is a problem for my mother. Not me. Dating is not my top priority right now.

>>9746322
She's suggested this a few times as well. Especially since one of my cousins married into a well-off family.

>>9746332
I know, they're all being tsundere with me.

>>9746342
Perhaps I wasn't very clear. I don't mind being single. It's my mother who gets on my case about it.

>7/8 years old, parents have seperated
>Getting ready for school
>father pottering around in back garden, 9 years of sobriety broken
>Comes in with a petrol cannister, stands over fire
>YOU WANT ME DEAD ANON YEAH?
>Mum moves us all up stairs
>Police called
>Cannister was full of water

This is why my children will hate me, because i will fuck with them any chance i get.

>>9746410
Why is there a fire in your house?

hey guys, this thread was supposed to be about your parents trolling you, not parents ruining your life.

>dad is drunk and watching tv
>throws cd case at me
>I get up from the couch to turn off the tv and he gets mad
>I turn off the power to the entire house
>shitstorm full of getting beaten in the dark

in hindsight, that probably was not a good idea to turn off the power

>>9746398

fatty can't get a date and pretends like she doesn't care about single

>>9746473
>>9746410

pic fuckin` related

>>9746746

fuck you all!
My posts always end the thread

Happend a week ago.

> Mom has been sick for two months
> Been through 3 different anti-biotics
> Goes in to get blood-work done for a bunch of shit (heavy smoker cancer is very possible)
> Comes home from getting blood work done with a white mask over he mouth
> I have sars

God she laughed, i didnt at the time.. but did later greatly..
She doesnt have cancer either.

How about we trollface our parents instead?

>Sexually active at 16
>Never bring girls home
>Never talk about girls at the dinner table
>Always meet girlfriends at their houses/parties/etc
>Father thinks I'm gay "Not that there's anything wrong with that, and we'd still love you just the same..."
>Never refute the idea that I might be gay (I'm not)
>I'm now 24 and my parents still think I'm gay

>>9747070
Hahaha! You're lying for no reason to your parents who obviously love you! That's funny! High five! Haha!

>>9747070
23 but basically the same story except slightly less of everything.

>>9747094
In my defence if it ever got to a stage where it was important to meet my parents I'd happily arrange it and expect regular contact from there on. It just so happens I'm shitty enough at relationships that this has thankfully never been a problem!

That being said, I once mailed my parents a card in spain with two black baby photos on and claimed they were their grandsons David and Hernandez.

It actually went down pretty well.

>Masturbating in room
>Almost there
>Hear dad's door open
>Freeze
>He knocks on my door, I scramble to make myself presentable. Hands are sticky, hair is a mess, can't tell what expression I have on
>Open door, "What?"
>Ignores question, looks around my room
>Got a girl in there?
>Continues beating around the bush until I'm thoroughly out of the mood
>Then gets mad at me for wanting to get to the point and storms off
>trollface.jpg.

>>9747094

I'm not lying to them. I'm simply withholding information and letting them keep their faulty assumptions.

>>9747392
>lie of omission

>>9747414
Oh what are you? Atticus Finch?

>Have dog for years
>Dog dies
>Father says he buried her in harden
>Years later he revealed that he didn't bury her but put her in a bin.
>His face=coolface.jpg

>>9747414

If they asked me if I were gay or if I had a girlfriend, I'd tell them the truth. Instead they make implications and assumptions and try to get me to volunteer the information without asking. Refusing to volunteer information without being asked isn't the same as a lie of omission.

>Dad gets drunk in his third wedding to a 19 yearold girl, I was 17.
>Calls me a not-his-son-pussy-faggot or some drunkass slur like that.
>Leave that very night, return tuxedo after 3 hours from lending it, go home, drink myself to sleep.
>Wake up, feel like shit.
>Dad called, 5 messages on phone
>"Fuck you, dad"
>Haven't seen him in 5 years
>I have a little sister now, I'm planning on fucking her when she turns 12 or older.
Really, fuck you, dad.
Also I've fapped to pictures of your wife on facebook, that much is how I respect you.

>>9747474
i would i stabbed him with a fork

>5 Years old
>Dad lets me watch American Werewolf In London with him
>Movie scares the living shit out of me
>Dad tells me werewolves aren't real
>Refuse to believe him
>A week later, Dad takes me out to the park on the night of a full moon
>''Look son, are there any werewolves?''
>Can we just go home?
>''Ok, but now you see that those monsters are just make beli.....wait.....what was that?
>What?
>''I heard something...Hmm. It came from those trees. I'll go have a look.''
>NO DAD LETS GO HOME I WANT TO GO HOME NOW PLEASE
>''Its ok. I'll be right back''
>Dad disappears into the dark bushes
>5 minutes later I hear him screaming at the top of his lungs
>Silence
>D....Dad? DAD???
>See something running towards me out of the darkness
>Its a werewolf
>Scream like a little girl, start freaking out
>Run away screaming
>Werewolf catches me, lifts me up
>Roaring into my face and shaking me
>I'm crying and screaming at the top of my lungs in absolute terror
>Werewolf puts me down
>I look up
>Dad takes off his werewolf mask
>I'm angry and scared
>Dad lol's
>''Ok son, NOW we can go home.''

I love my dad, but he did this kind of shit to me all the time when I was a little kid. Goddamit dad if you were'nt so cool I'd hate you.

>>9747541
lol a cunty badass

>>9747541
ALPHA AS FUCK

I fucking love your dad.

>>9747481
What did the messages say? Was he just like FUCK YOU I HATE YOU STILL

>>9747648
Things like "Im very sorry son I love you blah blah blah boost my ego"

>>9747541

Fucking amazing pareent, jesus.

>>9747565
>>9747572

Another time, after he took me to see Jurassic Park, I told him on the drive home how much I'd love to have a pet dinosaur.

>''Hmmm. Well son, dinosaurs are extict, but I think we can get the next best thing. How would you like a pet Goanna?''

Ausfag here btw. A goanna is basically a lage monitor lizard. I told him of course I'd love a pet goanna. So he says he'll take me to the countryside and catch one for me.

>Driving in the countryside down a long deserted road
>Dad suddenly brakes the car
>''Theres one! Did you see it? It ran off the road into those bushes! Quick, go get it before it gets away!''
>How am I gonna catch it?
>''Just grab the back of its neck and drag it back, I'll open the boot and we'll throw him in. Quick, before he gets away!''
>I jump out the car and run over to the bushes
>Dad I dont see him
>Hear the car start up
>Turn around
>Dad is waving and smiling at me
>Floors it and speeds away
>Comes back 15 minutes later
>I get in the car, dont say anything
>Dad dosn't say anything
>Silence in the car for about 20 minutes
>Dad finally talks
>''Hey, son.''
>I look at him with burning hatred in my eyes
>Dad looks at me, smiling
>''Did you catch your goanna?''

>>9747934
Stupid ?

stupiddadtraumatizinghissonblox

>Had a favourite cuddly clown toy when I was 4-5
>Wake up one morning to notice it's not in my bed
>Find Clown halfway up the stairs in a pile of "vomit"
>with "blood" on his face
>Dad appears and starts shouting that I ought to take care of my own toys
> ???
>HE'S SPENT THE ENTIRE NIGHT DOWN THE PUB!
>Oh, Clown. I am disappoint.
>HE GOT IN A DRUNKEN FIGHT
>Oh, Clown. How could you??
>Clown's night-time adventures continue to the point that when we move house (me aged 6) #1 on my list of priorities is looking out for a new pub for Clown to drink at.

>>9740372
on small screens everything looks tigher.

>dad's room is right across from mine
>wake up and go out into the hall to use bathroom
>afraid of the dark
>hear muffled roaring and growling
>"dad?"
>growling gets louder
>"DAD? ;-;"
>clawing noises
>"dad? dad? dad? dad? DAD?" crying etc.
>silence

He only apologized once when I started screaming. Also laughed a few times but I was too fucking panicked to calm down.

>>9748002

Although I hated it at the time, I could never stay mad at him for long, and I laugh pretty hard thinking about that stuff now. And aside from the horrible pranks he pulled, he was, and is, an awesome dad.

>mom goes grocery shopping
>buys milk
>doesnt buy cereal
>buys ham/turkey
>doesn't buy bread

>>9747875
Your dad is one crafty son of a bitch.
I oughta impregnate a female and be like him.

>>9747875

more dad stories

dadblox

>>9748193

>6 Years old
>Come home from school one day
>All my transformers are gone
>Dad where are my transformers
>''You're too old for toys son. I buried them in the backyard.''
>WHAT
>''You're too old to be playing with toy robots. I buried them. If you want them back, you'll have to go dig them up. But I'm not telling you where I buried them.''
>Storm outside, find small spade and start digging holes
>2 hours later, I've covered the backyard in holes
>Finally give up
>Go back inside
>Walk into bedroom
>Tranformers on the bed
>Dad walks in
>''Oh, yeah. Turns out they were in the backseat of my car.''
>Hurl Starcream at him

>>9748357
What a son of a bitch.
sonofabitchbloxxx.

>>9748357
And then you killed him, right? Tell me you waited until the dead of night and skull-fucked the bastard.

>>9748357
awesome dad

>>9748357
._. I love your Dad, dude..

Tell him the internet loves him.

>>9748357
i'm gonna have a kid just so i can do something like this to him.

>>9748357

>You didn't chek places where the grass or soil was disturbed

>>9748857
Maybe he did, you don't know.. Plus, if it was rainy it'd be hard to tell which mud was disturbed.

>roughly 8-10 years old
>dad sleeping off a hangover in the yard
>me and my brother playing basketball in the alley.
>German Shepard dog starts barking at us across alley
>Dad wakes up in a drunken/sober rage
>Starts barking back at the dog, acting like he's going to climb the fence to get at the dog.
>Dog gets scared and runs away, never barks at anyone again.

>In car with dad
>"Hey anon do you know what sounds like fun?"
>"I dont know. What? :3"
>"CRAAAAAAZY DRIVING"
>Begins to swerve across the street in car
>Good times turn to nightmare
>"STOP STOP IM SCARED ;___;"
>Stops swerving and continues on as normal
>coolface.png

He died in a car crash a year later.

>>9749033
i lol'd
i dont believe the ending bit, but my grandfather used to do the crazy driving bit with me all the time

>>9749252
>>9749033
my father did that with his motorbike. was pretty fun.

> dad calls me about stupid bullshit on my cellphone
> "STOP CALLING ME I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU EVER"
> he tells me to remember what I said, hangs up on me
> dies two weeks later
> my face

>mother got impregnated at 18 by a drug dealing mexican
>gave birth to me
>mexican goes to jail
>tries to kill herself
>fails
>raised by single, batshit crazy mother who still thinks she's a teenager
>i turn 21
>she runs off to live with some old man she met on the internet to help him raise his retarded daugther
>leaves me with heaps of debt and my ailing grandparents
>trollface.jpg

>5 years old.
>Dad figures out I'm scared of heights from seeing my reaction on a ferris wheel.
>Walking home one day from store. There's a bridge over a river.
>Dad drops the groceries to grab me and dangle me over the bridge by my legs.
>I scream like a pussy. He says a kid is too much work to care for.
>I pee myself.
>Dad puts me down. I'm soaked in pee.
>We walk home in awkward silence.
>trollface.jpg the entire time at my rage.

>Dad impregnates woman when he's only 14
>He joins gang at 16
>Gets into cocaine at 20
>I'm 6 years old and see my dad snorting cocaine
>Eat a little bit
>Get sent to hospital

Oh, dad. Why were you such a dickhead

>>9747541
fuuuuuu that just reminded me of this not my dad but best friends

>6/7ish
>at ozarks on his family's yacht
>his dad rents chainsaw massacre
>watch it in yacht living room
>me and best friend go to bed in back room
>2ish am me and friend wake up hear noises
>boat begins rocking
>hear heavy panting
>hear his dads voice coming from the front of the boat screaming run kids run
>his dad burst opens our rooms backdoor in bloody hockey mask with a running chainsaw (chain removed) screaming time to die or something and leaps on friends bed
>we cry ourselves to sleep

lol he had planned this for awhile

>Talking to dad on phone
>"Alright dad, well I gotta go."
>"Why, don't you love me anymore?" or some other manipulative bullshit like that
>Realize my father is basically a 15 year old girl
>trollface.jpg

>dad beat me up
>stole gun and shot him
>his face

>>9749621
Fucking lol'd.

gododommitmootloldbloxxxz

>>9749736
lol, tell your dad to grow a ball sack god damn.

>>9740428
You still beat off to cartoons.

>Dad hands me book
>"What's this"
>"Oh, you should read it, it's about modern physics!"
>he can barely contain his grin
>Take the book, read it later
>it's a piece of junk. Some physicist is comparing eastern religion with modern physics
>Next time I see my dad, I rage like the fist of the north star.
>He trollfaces
>"FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

>>9740694
Holy fuck are you me?
Except my dad said we should go to Brazil.

>>9747541
>>9747875

Holy shit got any more of these? Your dad is ultimate troll.

ITT Cowards and losers. Better to die on your feet than live on your knees, stick up to your fucking parents, they aren't magical fucking monsters, they're people like you and me.

>>9750067
Umm thanks couragewolf.

>>9747541
My dad did shit like this to me too. I nearly shit myself when we went camping one time. He has this tradition of scaring the youngest kid to go camping with us, and more often than not me and my brothers help him out now. I think I was like 7 or 8 when this happened.

>dad tells me and my brothers a scary story as the sun is going down, something about a blood drinking forest monster
>"Hey, anon, I want to go for a walk. Come with me and we'll get some candy by the store"
>go on walk with dad
>dad's a bro, joke around the whole time
>take the long way
>it's pitch dark outside, dad is holding flashlight
>unscrews cover over the light slightly
>flashlight turns off
>"Oh man, that's weird. The flashlight died."
>don't believe him
>think he's trying to scare me
>grab the flashlight, try to turn it on but it won't because the lid is unscrewed and i don't realize it
>dad has been picking up small stones whenever i wasn't looking
>starts throwing stones into bushes to make noise
>i'm freaking the fuck out
>he keeps pretending that he sees stuff in the dark
>"Stay here, anon, I'm gonna go check it out"
>walks away for a few seconds
>can't see where he went because it's so dark
>hear dad scream
>ohmygodohmygodohmygod
>dad jumps out and scares me
>trollface.jpg
>i'm on the verge of tears
>he's laughing his ass off
>OUT OF NOWHERE SOMETHING JUMPS ON MY DAD AND TAKES HIM TO THE GROUND
>scuffling, my dad is screaming
>i fucking book it
>down the road i see this thing fucking SPRINTING AT ME AND GROWLING
>OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE
>i'm fucking bawling at this point
>thing catches me, lifts me up
>look at my dad, he's in tears he's laughing so hard
>older brother takes off his mask, can't breathe from laughter
>oldest brother holding me up is trying to calm me down and laughing at the same time
>they buy me shit tons of candy to apologize
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg

>>9750250
His favorite story to tell was when he took my older brothers to one of those haunted houses that open up every Halloween, with people in costumes that jump out at you. They were super young at the time, can't remember their ages.

>getting near the end
>dad is holding youngest brother
>older brother is walking next to them clinging to my dad for dear life
>hand reaches out, grabs my brother's leg
>he screams, latches onto my dad and pretty much has to be dragged out
>people keep grabbing at him from holes in the wall
>chainsaw dude jumps out, revs the chainsaw
>starts walking towards them
>brother in my dad's arm is screaming at the top of his lungs
>my dad yells "OH MY GOD, TAKE THE BABY! TAKE THE BABY!"
>holds out my brother to the guy with the chainsaw

I think it took my youngest brother a while to forgive him for that. My dad is the biggest fucking troll lol. I love him for it though. I have some of the coolest stories thanks to him.

>Dad walks in, shout "I've heard you've been dong pot!"
>Suddenly curl up, ready to defend any hits.
>"Just kidding, I don't give a shit"
>Walks out without me saying a word.