Q: What do you call a black man who's never worked a day in his life?

A: Jim. His name is Jim.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who is driving?

A courteous cab driver

Q. What is the magic of AIDS?

A. It turns fruits into vegetables.

Fucking alchemy, how does it work?

Two black men waIk into a bar. They drink their drinks, making pleasant conversation, then go to their respective homes and spend time with their loving families.

A seal waIks into a club. The club owner then proceeds to call animal control.

The Magic Tractor turned into a field.

What do you call a bIack man with a PhD? You call him a doctor.

This stuff is fucking awesome.

Micheal J. Fox isn't good with surgery.... because he is an actor, not a trained medical professional.

>>9583727
aIright, now this one got me good

How do you get six Jews into a Volkswagen Beetle?

You can't, a Volkswagen Beetle can only seat five people at a time.

>>9583739
Just told this joke to my little brothers.
lulz were had

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man?

One is a food item and the other is a person.

How many Jews can you fit in a car?
Depends on how many seats there are and how roomy it is.

Why do women have menstrual periods?

Because it hurts and they deserve it.

What do you call an arab wearing a turban flying an airplane?

The pilot

Why couldn't HeIen KeIIer drive?
She was deaf and blind, a deadly combination when behind a steering wheel.

A man walks into a bar.

He is an alcohol and it is destroying his family.

Fuck off with your capital I

How do you know when a blonde has used your computer?

Because she politely asked your permission before using it.

>>9583732
give me your paypal i have to send you money for this joke, something inside me wont let me be told this for free

>>9583714
dohoho
that's nice. >:3

>>9583788
the only one that made me lol

>>9583814
lt's because of "Flood Detected, Post Discarded" as the robot still considers that to have been posted and l would prefer not to be muted.

Why do /sp/ and /v/ dislike each other?

Because they're both different and separate boards.

A Scotsman, and Englishman and a Irishman find themselves in a park. They notice the slide, get nostalgic and proceed to make use of it. The last guy down screams like a little kid. The other two men laugh and open another bottle of white lighting, they don't want to get back to their empty houses just yet.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

You should consider carefully that there is the possibility that she is a victim of domestic abuse, but is afraid to let anyone know.

How many work days are in a black mans week?

It all depends on the job. It's usually 5 days. Weekends are a mainstay in most work environments.

What's the difference between a fridge and a homosexual man?

The fridge is a household appliance, and a homosexual man is a human being.

What do you do when you see a black man limping through the forest?

See if he is alright and if he is badly hurt offer to take him to the hospital.

Christopher Reeve is terrible at soccer...because he has devoted his energies to soccer.

A bIack man, a Jewish woman, a Mexican, and a homicidal maniac with a bomb strapped to his chest go into a mall. The homicidal maniac blows the mall up. 127 people were killed.

They're called anti-jokes, OP

A black man, a white man, and an arab are standing on the edge of a cliff. Suddenly, a genie appears and tells them that if they jump off the cliff, they will land safely and be surrounded by whatever they call out as they are falling. The black man jumps first. He then falls to his death. The white man and the arab seek mental help because they are apparently schizophrenic, and seeing things.

What is the difference between a cadillac and 99 dead babies?

The cadillac is an automobile, the dead babies are a sad and truly tragic occurance.

Why do more African Americans die of automobile-related accidents in the winter?
It is likely that the unfavorable road conditions cause more motorists to lose control of their cars and so hit pedestrians.

I just flew in from New York, and boy, are my arms tired...because I worked out last night.

A man picks up a hooker. He drives her to an isolated place and pulls out his penis. The prostitute begins to tuck and pull at it so that it is loose from the tight pants. Suddenly, as she is getting ready to suck on it, he cums on her hand, spurting quickly and with little effort.
She tell him "It is ok, happens to the best of 'em," but now he is crying, and she wants her money. A police officer pulls up and sees the drama unfold. He arrests the man and prostitute. She cannot come home that night and the baby waiting for her to make some money and bring some milk home goes into shock and later dies. The mans' wife finds out about the incident and divorces her husband of 20 years, takes the kids, the house, and most of his paycheck. The man commits suicide two weeks later.

How many American women does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Typically, only one--however, if the light fixture is in a hard-to-reach place, a ladder may be required, which would necessitate one to steady the ladder. Safety first!

Why was six afriad of seven? It wasn't because numbers are non sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

>>9583911
you niggerfaggot, i just spewed half a can of coke on my wall

>>9583910
Why are they 'anti'? They're still funny, and still have a classic joke format.

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He unscrews the bulb and replaces it with a new one.

A man driving down a long contry road sees a Black man signaling for a lift. He stops and asks the man to jump in, which he does. The man then asks where the passenger is heading, to which the passenger replies "Just as close to Newcastle as you can take me",
"It's your lucky day, that's where I am heading"
"Oh, fantas-"
They are hit by a drunk driver, the hitch hiker dies instantly but the driver is impaled and slowly bleeds to death.

There is no punchline.

Why do Jews have huge noses?
Because individuals of the same culture usually tend to have similar physical features.

How do you stop a black boy from jumping on the bed?
Scold him, and explain to him the dangers to himself, as well as the potential damage he may cause the mattress.

http://antijokes.blogspot.com/

anon delivers!

How many dead babies are required to cause unmentionable pain, suffering, and general feelings of loss?

Typically, only one, but with proper parenting, you can increase your chances of raising a happy, healthy child several fold.

What do you say to a Gorilla with headphones on?

Nothing because any sudden noises or movements may provoke the animal into a deadly frenzy.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen?
She had finished eating dinner.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

This is a peculiar circumstance, as such a large piece of machinery should not be easy to misplace. Still, I suppose anything's possible, and now I'll have to do the day's chores by hand, which is how my grandfather did it. I'll take this as a cue to appreciate how good I have things nowadays, in comparison to the harsh times of my ancestors. This has actually been a very positive experience.

What's do a bat and a pornstar have in common?

Relatively nothing, as one is a winged creature and the other is a profession. However, both humans and bats share the pentadactyl limb, suggesting they evolved from a common ancestor.

>>9583674
A NIGGER
>>9583703
THE BLACK DUDE
>>9583739
A NIGGER
>>9583795
A TERRORIST
>>9583799
BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN
>>9583881
IGNORE HIM
>>9583874
NOTHING, FRUITS GO IN BOTH
>>9583930
NOTHING, I WANT TO BE INSIDE BOTH
>>9584030
BECAUSE AIR IS FREE
>>9583863
GET BACK IN THE KITCHEN

How do you get a thousand Ethiopians into a telephone box?

You can't, as there isn't enough physical space in the box. Also, many parts of Ethiopia require more urgent services than a working phone system, such as power or sewage disposal.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Tom.

Hey man, what's up? Come on in!

>>9584117
PUT FOOD IN THERE
>>9584101
BECAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE BEATEN
>>9583750
BECAUSE OF HIS PARKINSON'S

What do you call a man who has no legs?

A disabled man, who despite having suffered from a horrible accident, is more than likely able to become a productive member of society.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

The result of toxic pollution in the environment finally revealing itself in the form of a horrible mutation.

What do you call a bunch of asian people at a pool?
A group of friends with something in common, enjoying a warm summer afternoon.

>>9584151
NO IDEER

What is the worst part about rollerblading?

Usually the stress placed on one's ankles and lower back due to improper lacing, support, and posture.

>>9583811

I love you more than words can say.

So a man walks into a talent agency, he proceeds to perform a perfectly reasonable act, and is given a decent-paying job.

A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are watching a building.

At 1:00, two people enter the building.
At 1:30, two people leave the building.
At 2:00, another person leaves the building.

The men of science don't notice because they are drunk and masturbating.

>>9583811
>He is an alcohol

A rabbi and a priest are seated next to each other on an aeroplane, unfortunately the flight is short and neither strike up conversation.

I googled it...and it's on know your meme

I hate the world now.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first sits down and orders a beer. The second sits down and orders half a beer. The third sits down and orders one quarter of a beer.
The barman pours two beers and says "you're all arseholes"

A priest, a mexican, and a black man walk into a bar...they all have a satisfying drink, and have an interesting conversation that leads to better understanding of each other.

Your momma is so fat.

That she is considered morbidly obese and is at risk for a number of health problems including diabetes.

>>9584217

and it says b april 2010

>I mad

What did the black guy say to his friend when he saw the cops?

"Oh look, there goes by our local law enforcement officials. Let us remove our hats in reverence for their sacrifices."

A rabbi and an imam walk into a bar together.

They begin talking theology, and, although they're aware that they'll never completely agree with one another, they manage to keep the conversation civil and respectful.

>>9584191
Either troll or fucking stupid.
Rarely used joke is rarely used.

A guy walks into a bar and sits down at the end. Nobody is near him, but he hears a voice - "nice tie". He thinks he's imagining the voice, so he ignores it.

Sure enough, a few minutes later he hears the same voice - "nice shirt". Now it's driving him crazy, so he asks the bartender if he knows where the voice is coming from.

The bartender chuckles amiably and responds "Oh yes, the peanuts are complimentary!"

The man correctly assumes the bartender is playing a petty practical joke upon him, loses his temper and smashes his glass over the bartender's face in a drunken rage. The bartender is disfigured for life.

Chris Hansen and Pedobear both walk into a bar. Then Chris woke up from a terrible nightmare, drank a cold glass of water and went back to bed.

What do Britney Spears and Paris Hilton both have in common?

They both have been portrayed negatively in the media, thus damaging their reputations forever.

how do you stop a black man from drowning? throw him a life preserver and then administer CPR if you are certified to do so

What color was George Washington's white horse?

As previous stated in the question, the horse owned by George Washington was, in fact, white.

What did the Jewish doctor say to the man's wife he just killed during surgery?

"Unfortunately, there was a problem in the operating room and you husband passed away"

To which the wife replied

"Golly gee, that is unfortunate. It's ok. We signed a release for a situation such as the one which we are currently faced with"