I've seen Keanu threads all day on /v/ and /a/.. What happend to him?

lonely keanu is a new meme

Best friend died
Sister dying of cancer
Girlfriend miscarried his daughter, then suicided
Father abandoned him.
Had to give up on dreams of being pro hockey player
Got no Friends.

>>9286192
is this real or bs?

cause if it is...man ....

Keanu spends his birthdays alone. I believe he turned down six glamour models who offered to help him celebrate his 39th birthday - in favour of dining alone.

I remember when /co/ made this giant "i'm a pussy so i forgive Keanu" thread

Cheer him up /r9k/
He's had a hard life :'(

I dont have a facebook but If I see Keanu sitting alone on a bench then I will go up to him and give him a hug.

>>9286192
>Sister dying of cancer
Hes spending all his money to buy her time. It's sad ...

>>9286141
nothing did. paparazzi got a few pictures that could be interpreted as him being depressed, and the rumor mill starts churning.

>>9286464
>I dont have a facebook

It's okay, because a kissless virgin like yourself wouldn't be able to cheer him up anyway.

And he still hasn't succumbed.

He is stronger than most of us.

I've never felt such a profound state of sadness that I am experiencing right now. I'm just .. wow.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/KeanuReeves

>Has recently gained minor memetic status on a certain website after they discovered his history of being one of the of biggest Woobies in Hollywood.

Oh, you guys.

>>9286514
I don't get what's so great about facebook...

I hope keanu feels better =( He is a real bro

/r9keanu/

I instantly thought the pic was referring to Ethan in Heavy Rain.

I will cheer you up Keanu.

>>9286553
all the "cool kids" are doing it

you wanna be cool, don't you?

No, Keanu, you cannot give up now.

You are the One.

>>9286192
Somehow I am glad I am not immortal

The problem with being immortal

Is that everything you have ever known will someday die. ;_;

Don't you just want to fucking run up to him and hug him? Because I sure as shit do. I want to hug the everliving fuck out of him goddamn.

He actually has millions of dollars and many, many fans who constantly tell him they love him.

And now he's even a meme on 4chan.

His life is a billion times better than yours.

Shit man...

Keanu I hope you read this.

You have millions of people who care about you and care what happens to you.

Nobody would give a shit about me.

But you man... You matter

>>9286669
he regularly takes a much lower salary than most actors so that the studio can afford to higher other big name actors

the money he does have is all spent on keeping what remains of his family alive

everyone mocks him and his acting pretty constantly.

Everyone he has ever loved is dead.

he is alone

Maybe he's just getting into the character as Spike Spiegel in depressed mode.

Appeasing the robot with some delicious text

>>9286718
Spike is a jolly guy much of the time.

Point Break is his best movie.
discuss

i'll do it, only because i think he's good looking.

>>9286837
Point Break was the original Fight Club.
Discuss.

Can I have template?

Funny how threads about him playing Spike seems to have turned into this.

>>9286903
No

/discussion

TempIate BIox

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keanu_reeves
his birthay's in december you fucktards

another template

pleasingtherobotblox

woops, no more fail crop.

robotbloxed

>>9286969
September you fucking asshole.
stfufaggot

RONERY KEANU IS RONERY

Why is he sad?

What the hell is he hoIding?

>>9286240
http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/story/keanu-spends-birthday-alone

> KEANU REEVES turned down six gorgeous glamour models who offered to help him celebrate his 39th birthday - in favour of dining alone.

>The MATRIX actor preferred his own company as he dined on pasta at DAN TANA's restaurant in Los Angeles on 2 September (03), and Keanu didn't regret his decision to ignore the bevy of beauties.

>He said, "No thanks, I'm happy spending the big day alone."

>>9287124

bawwwwwwwwhhhhhh


>robotblox

>>9287177

I spend my birthdays alone, as I'm sure most of r9k does.

Keanu is one of us.

dont mute me bro
noimagelesstextblox

>>9287177
>turned down six gorgeous glamour models who offered to help him celebrate his 39th birthday - in favour of dining alone.

..Why would he do that?

Fun fact:

his name is hawaiian for 'the coldness'

>>9287268
He wanted to look like a bad motherfucker.

>>9286566
FUND lT.

What happened to Keanu? What is going on with him? Why do we care?

>>9286709
>>9287177
>>9286192
aw man shit is not cash :/

>>9287350
After Op's picture was taken people on /tv/ started threads about him and slowly discovered how fucking sad his life is.

>>9287268
Keanu Reeves is too busy being an emotionally distant badass. He doesn't have time for that crap.

>>9287124

This is the saddest one out of the group. Poor guy. You see celebs live big and get themselves in mountains of debt until they have to auction their used socks autographed for 30 bucks a pop. Then you see those who lack any acting abilities get rich and stay in demand despite not deserving. Then you see people like him who mean no one harm, wants to give his best, and despite trying hard end up alone with a hard life despite actually being a good person.

>>9287350
his life is shit. seriously. look him up.

>>9287326
Oh god, I take back all the bad things I've ever said about this dude. If only I knew...

>>9287268
He knows that all women are whores. Hell, his mother got married 4 times.

You know....I gotta wonder....if his deadpan acting has anything to do with the tragedy that is his life.

>>9287426
marilyn manson killed his gf

>>9287477
unlike some people, i enjoy his "deadpan" acting.

>>9287509
The Matrix trilogy are some of my favourite films. Just for how fucking awesome Keanu Reeves is in them.

Keanu is a reaI tragedy.....

Man, I don't care about who the interwebs makes fun of, but the situation this dude is going through ain't cool man. I mean cmon, the fucking matrix.

Keanu is a great actor, but only for certain roles.

Keanu, we are forever brothers.

I'm beginning to fall in love with the bittersweet tragedy that is Keanu Reeves.

>>9287601
dude...fuck.....


;_;

>>9287642
>but only for certain roles.

Get the fuck out of here.
NOW.

>>9287551
nothing can compare to him and those films!

>>9287491
What the fuck? No he didn't.

Also I can't possibly feel bad for him. He's rich and famous. Sorry, robots, but that's how I feel on the subject.

>>9287749
He is your bro, whether you want to admit it or not.

>>9287749
that is a bad thing to say and you should feel bad about it. money won't bring back his olympic dreams, money won't bring back his gf or his child.

>>9286709
>the money he does have is all spent on keeping what remains of his family aIive

;_;

Father abandoned him.
His mom married 5 different guys before he was 18.
Never spent more than 3 consecutive years in the same country growing up.
Had to give up on dreams of being pro hockey player
Best friend died
Never got a highschool diploma
Sister dying of cancer
Girlfriend miscarried his daughter, then suicided

He has been cursed, and will never die. Everyone and everything he ever loved will leave him, and he is all that will be left.

I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings - yeah - yeah
I have no rival, no man can be my equal
Take me to the future of you all

I want to know the story about his girlfriend. Was she just batshit insane or did he cause the suicide?

This guy, man. :(

>>9287871
I never had one because he was a wife beater who never paid child support.
My mom bounced between boyfriends constantly while I was growing up.
I basically moved after each year of school when I was young.
I was never good at shit growing up and thus had no dreams of anything.
I moved around when I was younger, so I never got to keep any best friends I did have.
I got sent to juvy for making a joke with a guy I knew and had to get my high school proficiency after basically missing a year of HS.
I found out I have a half sister I've never met when I was 21. To this day I have no idea what she looks or sounds like.
Women, cheating whores, etc.

At least he has money.

>>9288114

Yes, but you don't have any talent nor are you a good person.

>>9288162
Reeves can't act for shit and I donate to every charity box I see in stores etc. Again, he has money. He could donate 50% of his income to cancer research and live better than me.

>>9288203

He donates 95% of his income to cancer research.

Dear Keanu,

<3

>>9288227
No, he donates it to his sister. You show me proof that he donates 95% of his income to cancer research.

>>9288249
At least he cares about his sister, unlike you.

>>9288203
>>9288114

How many times have you heard someone say "If I had his money, I could do things my way."
But little they know that it's so hard to find one rich man in ten with a satisfied mind.
Once I was winning in fortune and fame. Everything that I dreamed for to get a start in lifes game.
Then suddenly it happened. I lost every dime. But I'm richer by far, with a satisfied mind.

Money can't buy back your youth when you're old, or a friend when you're lonely, or a love that's gone cold.

The wealthiest person is a pauper at times, compared to the man with a satisfied mind.

When life has ended and my time has run out, my friends and my loved ones believe there's no doubt. But there's one thing for certain when it comes my time, I'll leave this world with a satisfied mind.

>>9288249

You show me proof that you donate to every charity box you see in stores.

>>9288284
You're right, I don't care about his sister. Mostly because I didn't even know he had a sister until today. I have my own life and family to worry about.
>>9288288
Even if I could, I wouldn't.

KEANU REEVES

THE ONLY CELEBRITY /R9K/ IDENTIFIES WITH

>>9288336
He spends his birthdays alone..I can relate to that

>>9288331
>implying your manipulation of my words will deflect from the fact that you have a sister you don't care to meet.

Keanu reeves is actually immortal.

He must suffer through a horrendous and tragic life for all eternity.

>>9288370
I never said I don't care to meet her. Actually I tried looking for her for a while but couldn't find hide nor hair of her. For all I know she could be dead.

>>9288114
>I was never good at shit growing up and thus had no dreams of anything.
>I moved around when I was younger, so I never got to keep any best friends I did have.
I got sent to juvy for making a joke with a guy I knew and had to get my high school proficiency after basically missing a year of HS.
>I found out I have a half sister I've never met when I was 21. To this day I have no idea what she looks or sounds like.

You sound like a lazy-ass piece of shit.

>>9288114

You sound like a faggot.
At least Keanu did fucking something despite all of his troubles.

ITT: One person trying to make himself seem more entitled to pity than Keanu is, despite having done nothing notable nor significant during his life.

>>9288398
On the contrary, I have friends now, goals, morals, skills, etc. Because I got tired of sitting around feeling sorry for myself. Reeves has no excuse for not following his dreams. Last I checked he has full use of his body. He gave up his "dreams" because he quit.

>>9288437

Yeah sounds like you've had a much more productive life than Keanu.

>>9288382
>>9288382
>>9288382

HOLY SHIT! IT'S TRUE!!!
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccckkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!

>>9288464
Productivity is measured by contentment with life in my eyes. If he's not happy about where he is in life, he hasn't been productive.
Regardless, you guys are probably just blowing this out of proportion, Keanu is perfectly happy and the pictures are just paparazzi making him look that way because their job is to distort the truth.

>>9288520
What injury? He doesn't look disabled to me.

>>9288382

THIS IS WHY HE SPENDS HIS BIRTHDAY ALONE

>>9288520
>Checks to see if it's true
>Reeves excelled more in hockey than in academics, as his educational development was challenged by dyslexia. He was a successful goalie at one of his high schools (De La Salle College "Oaklands"). His team nicknamed him "The Wall," and voted him MVP. While Reeves dreamed of becoming an Olympic hockey player for Canada , an injury ended his hopes for a hockey career.

;_;

Woah dude...this is so depressing.
I loved his work, i wish i could cheer him up or something.

>>9288382

OH SHI-

=(

poor guy.

If he wasn't immortal this is what he would look like.

he's 45 in that pic, barely looks 30 goddamn

/r9keanu/

I approve of this. Someone get moot on the line.

>>9288649
Wait...Keanu Reeves evolves into Alan Rickman?

alright

what the fuck is that chicken thing walking in front of him?

/r9KEANU/

FUCK YEAR

>>9288792
...It's a fucking bird.

>>9288687

And has lesser powers of Trent Reznor

>>9288815
how can a bird have powers?

>>9288792
Go outside for once in your life.

>>9288847
Then what the fuck do I do? Stand there like a faggot while people scowl at me for being different?

>>9288847
i dont see mini-chickens when i go outside.

do you?

>>9288885
IT. IS. A. FUCKING. BIRD.

>>9288909
WHAT KIND OF CHICKEN IS IT?

>>9288885
Holy fuck. Are you that reclusive you've never seen a pigeon before?

There are 1000s of these birds in pretty much every city, they make little nests in buildings and eat our trash.

>>9288847
Not after seeing that picture. There must be all sort of creatures in that "outside" place.

I really liked Keanu Reeves from the beginning, even before the time of Matrix.

He had this "Bro-aura"!

He is the perfect one to play Spike Spiegel!
There is no doubt about it.

And i think that he also thought and maybe is still thinking to go out with a bang!

"You're gonna carry that weight"

>>9288885
http://www.google.com/images?hl=nl&source=imghp&q=birds&gbv=2&aq=f&aqi=g7&aq
l=&oq=&gs_rfai=

>robotbloxedmootykins

Maybe the people who made that FB page should make it so I don't have to fucking sign up to view it. That would probably help their cause.

Fuck i can't wait for the cowboy bebop movie, even if it sucks, i'll probably be a sucker for it.

>>9289137
yeah doubleday is right

>>9288582

I played against De La Salle's hockey team last year, they were pure shit, worst in the division.

If their team back then was anything like it is now then I doubt he had a chance of making it to the NHL.

Text to feed the robots insatiable hunger.

>>9289248

mind=blown

>fuckyourobot

Keanu is lebaneses?!

I, for one, welcome our new Keanu Reeves overlord.

He is the official king of /r9k/. Someone should tell him that he has friends here.

>Keanu Reeves thread
>128 posts and 16 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

I love you guys.

>>9289349

will someone please inform moot of our new overlord.

>>9289339

He was born there, I don't think he has any leb in him though.

This thread actually gives me faith in /r9k/...

Because we're actually showing sympathy for someone else other than us. Goddamn, I want to hug him until he feels better.

>>9289248
Oh wow, my eyes were like this o_o.

Really didn't notice.

Al in favor of voting Mr. Reeves the new king of /r9k/ say I

>I

>>9289381
He can rename it to /r9k/eanu.

>>9289453

Voting for the new overlord.

> I

It'd make my day to see him post a timestamped webcam picture with him smiling.

This man deserves a little bit of happiness.

And I've never posted so much in one thread.

>>9289453
>I
this could work, he is a fitting overlord

Keanu is the hero /r9k/ deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

he is our guardian and watchful protector.

>>9289507
then he shall be our God and moot shall remain the king

all in favor say I
>I

>>9289523

>I

He needs to be ruling over /r9k/ in some way. I don't care how.

>>9289248
look at the angle on the bench, it was just more off to the right, and you can see the fence in both pics

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lr1XDzBR2Ys

I have a legitimate question for you guys.

Am I they only one who's been saying 'Keeeeyahnhoo' all this time? Shit.

According to the Wiki it's Kayahnoo.

>>9289542
What about the plants?

> I

another vote cast for our new overload.

it brings a tear to my eye to see all of r9k behind keanu.

>>9289523
>I
Long live the God of /r9k/!
bloxx

>I-bloxx

Some Sigur Ros would be nice

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivyJUU3k3w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3OJTZVKZx8&feature=related

>I

To be honest though, being voted to be king of this place is sort of patronizing in wake of everything else. Just saying.

>I
Keanubloxx

>>9289645
no, he's going to be the god but whatever

also,
>I

>I
I doubt moot is going to listen to us, and i doubt this is actually going to help Keanu

>>9289248
Hes got some weed in that sandwich yo

>>9289741
who cares, it's rare that /r9k/ can agree on anything, let's enjoy it while it lasts

>Does your charactor have children? No
>Has your charactor ever lost someone dear to them? Yes
>Has your charactor been around since times since times immemorial? Yes
>Has your character had his dreams shattered? Yes

;_;

>>9289795

This made me lol so hard.

And then I cried.

>I

This thread made me fucking sad. Thanks for ruining everything.

>I
i hope ronrey keanu finds this and is happy

>I

Make the legend come true.