>Get into foodfight with local asshole.
>toss bread
>bread hits principal

underage mofokin b&.

common srsly...stories about detentions.....

>Have food fights in middle school
>throwing fruits at each other
>Big guy pulls out a fucking watermelon and throws it as hard as he can
>hits teacher in the side of the head as they pass around a corner

6th grade.

>retarded guy in wheelchair
>steal his wheelchair
>ride it around the yard while guy in wheelchair helplessly flails around on the ground
>I was just borrowing it
>Still got detention though

I got detention for catching bees in a lunchbox and throwing them at people.

>Learning about different trees in the second grade
>Teacher insists that Spruce Springsteen is a singer
>Tell her he is Bruce
>detention for disagreeing

>in grade 1
>retarded (downie) girl in grade 7 lures me and some friends into going outside school at lunch
>detention for three lunchtimes
>fucking downie got away

>have an untreated ligament disorder that makes it difficult to stand properly
>substitute teacher tells us to get in line for lunch, then tells me to stand up straight
>attempt to stand correctly, legs bend oddly and I fall over
>get detention

>1st grade
>some kid calls me a cunt
>I don't know what it is, but some of the other kids laugh at me
>lure namecaller out to the gravel near the swings
>grab two handfuls of small rocks
>yell out DOUBLE BARRELS!!!!
>he gets a face full of rocks and I fuck up one of his eyes and chip one of his front teeth

Detention for a whole week, but it was worth it.

>go to toilet block with friends
>play dodgeball with sopping wet balls of paper towel
>teacher walks in mid-fight and discovers bathroom floor and roof covered in the stuff

>Friend group decides to set a bin on fire
>Before I light the bin, friend throws leaves in
>wtf did you do that for
>it will burn better
>your a dickhead
>Light it anyway
>shitloads of smoke, got caught as a result
>1 week detention

>I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
>Detention for a week

>Find duct tape
>Guys lets duct tape this chair to the roof!
>Good idea! lolol
>1 lookout, 3 people helping hold chair up
>Lookout does not warn us of teachers approach
>Detention

>Teacher asks me to put phone away
>No
>Bring it up the front or get out of class
>Tongue my brown
>Suspendention

>>9081145
>tongue my brown

LOLWAT?

>>9081145
>Tongue my brown
Explain yourself

>Guys lets duct tape this chair to the roof!
Brilliant idea

>Late to PE
>Detention

>can't stop myself from falling asleep in class
>happens too often
>kids in class rag on me for my stentorian snoring
>detention
>I end up going for a sleep study
>I actually have sleep apnea
>teacher apologizes in front of class for giving someone who had a medical issue dentention
>I still went because this was after the fact.

>Grade 7.
>It snows.
>Get told not to have snowball fight.
>20+ kids from my class of about 35 all get in a snowball fight.
>Principal sits all down in the hall and says he'll suspend anyone that throws one more snowball.
>Nobody threw any more snowballs.

The dude was a boss.

>didn't dress properly for PE 3 times in a row
>only time I ever got suspended

>>9081145
>tongue my brown

Who and the what now?

>Slap classmate in face
>He grabs me, throws me against wall
>Punch him
>Get Saturday

>In nursery school
>Kid throws my best friend's cap on the roof of the school
>I run in a circle around the kid, then bite his ass cheek really really hard
>Kid cries
>I get suspended
I saw the kid I bit years later, he didn't remember me though, thank fuck

premeptive archive request.....

>>9080935
I really hope your trolling cause if not, that's so fucked up man.

>have lunch detention
>pull out a bag of chips
>rip it open, crinkling sounds everywhere
>eat one chip at a time, crunching loudly
>trollface

>>9081309
>>9081332
>>9081544
I'm guessing tounge my brown = kiss my ass

>>9083904
Lol, there were saturdays at my school as well. Never got one though.

I only ever got detentions for not handing in work, being stoopid.

Although one time in year 8 me and my friend were doing the thing where one would kneel behind someone and the other would push them over. We did it to loads of people then we did it to like the loner kid in the year below and he landed on the pointed side of a cricket bat and started crying. I panicked, instantly blamed by friend. The teacher was pissed but because I was usually a good kid nothing happened, closest I came to getting my parents involved in school matters.

this was in elementary school
>got this cracker/meat/cheese combination with me to eat
>give a classmate the cheese because i don't like it
>he's still chewing when the teacher enters
>detention for both of us, i still don't know why

>be textbook student
>only detention I got was for being late

>sitting in class, bored out of my mind
>sort of horny
>rub my cock through my pants as teacher drones on
>my stiffy gets harder
>put sweater over lap, end up whipping it out of my underwear and letting the length go down my pants leg
>continue stroking, pig precum stain on khakis
>realize im in the back row and noone is facing me
>aw fuck it
>prop up textbook in lap to hide my waist, unzip pants, whip out dick and stroke faster
>let out muffled grunt as i blow a big milky load in my palm
>didnt get caught, no detention
>did it during my bible study class
>fuck yea

>>9084087

Ha that reminds me of the time I pushed this girl over this other kid. She fell back which caused her legs to fly up and kick my nuts. Worst nut shot ever. Don't leave your legs open even the slightest when you do that to someone

>>9084303

Ha you think that's bad? Remember the time I gave a salmon helmet to Muhammed while wearing a toga?

>>9080935
huh. look's like i'm going to hell.

some of these are awesome, moaaaaaaaaaar.

>>9081145
you told the teacher to lick your ass?

is this some sort of backwoods hillbilly saying?

>first grade
>someone steals my bag
>run after him
>teacher catches us
>I get 1 hour of detention, he gets 1.5 hours
>next day he beats me up for getting him detention
>teacher catches us again
>our parents get called
>guy lied to his parents and they get into a verbal fight with my parents who knew that I wasn't lying as I never lied before
>teacher stops them as my dad punches his dad
>I get 2 hours of detention for 5 days
>he gets nothing as his dad is threatening to sue the school (he is a high paid lawyer)

9 years later

>I've had grown to become a huge guy (197cm)
>guy still lives near me
>one day decide to pay him a visit as he tormented me for my whole childhood with his friends
>ring his doorbell
>his dad opens door, break his nose in and go upstair to beat that motherfucker of a bully with my fists
>leave their home laughing my ass off
>tell my dad what I did
>he laughed it off
>they report to the police the next day after getting some first aid
>uncle answers to their call and show up at their door
>my uncle is a policeman
>he fakes report
>I get away

>learning vocab in catholic school in 4th grade
>Teacher is listing off words "...subject, correct, staircase, suck"
>I giggle at suck
>get my ass beat by nun with a ruler for the next hour.

>>9086515

if thats true, gj.

>9th grade english
>Playing with friends sticky hand
>Throw it at ceiling
>Gets stuck

Sorry for watermark, just pulled up first pic

>>9086515
What a lollercoaster ride, that was pretty funny

>farted in class
>laughed louder than anyone else
>got detention
>felt good man

>middle school
>everyone starts hugging each other
>entire class gets detention

I kid you not.

>day after my birthday
>cake for lunch, fuck yeah
>cake falls on ground, I am sad
>"Hey, does anyone have a napkin or something?"
>vice principal walks in
>"NOW WHO MADE THIS MESS? I JUST KNOW YOU WEREN'T GOING TO CLEAN IT UP!"
>classroom clean up duty

Fuck you, Mr. Rutherford.

> Doing a class speech
> Call my Teacher a slave driver as part of the speech
> Get a "think sheet"
> "Who did this hurt the most? _________________"
> Put down "my grade"
> Detention.

>>9086677
You delicious smart-ass, you.

>>9086677
> "Who did this hurt the most? _________________"
> Put down "my grade"

Bahahaha that was fucking hilarious. Teacher should have rewarded you for wit instead of being a cunt.

> fire drill
> no talking during fire drills
> teacher does roll call
> call out my name
> friend in another line shouts "faggot!" after my name
> mutter "shut up, jeff"
> detention

>6th grade
>Friend playing with his new electric motor car
>some grade 4 fucks kick it and break it
>round up the toughest 6th graders to bombard them with pinecones
>Have to spend the next week picking up pinecones and throwing them away

>>9086811
You did what was right, my friend.

Ive got one.
>With a group of good friends on the second floor of the highschool.
>The window is open, my friend dares himself to climb through the window
>We all motivate him
>Half way through the window, we start to sqeeze the water out of our water bottles onto my friends head
>Laughter ensued
>Laughter quickly ceased when vice head master walked in and saw what we were doing
>Walk of shame to the head masters office
>We all walk like gangsters when he isnt looking

Good memories man.

>Hallway full of kids wearing hooded sweatshirts in hall between classes.
>Headmistress with an axe to grind gives me, and only me, detention.
>Explain to Vice Headmaster, he's all, "But you WERE wearing one, weren't you?"
>Tell him I'm not a retard and to stop with his legalistic bullshit in defense of her petty behavior.
>Moar detentions.

>walking into school, see "WET FLOOR" sign in dry vestibule
>pick up sign
>walk into Physical Science classroom
>ask them if they have a wet floor
>"no"
>turn on sink
>splash a couple drops on ground
>set down sign
>walk out wordlessly

>last day of school
>shout to friend across hallway "JOHN! ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE - I'LL FUCK YOU WITH A RAKE YOU BITCH"
>Principal walks by, hears it
>his name is John

>9th grade
>Good kid but a bit of a slacker and forgetful
>Have English second period of the day
>Teacher asks me to meet after school to discuss a missed assignment
>Have no intention of blowing it off on purpose
>Forget by the end of the day
>Miss the meeting
>Teacher comes up to me after school and asks where I was
>"Oh right I forgot, I'm so sorry. Can we do it tomorrow or even right now?"
>He replies "No, I already gave you a detention, don't worry about it."
WHY DID YOU EVEN TALK TO ME IF YOU WEREN'T GOING TO LET ME RE-SCHEDULE? FUCK!

happened to a friend
>business studies
>they were given crosswords
>guy next to my friend takes his and fills it in with a load of shit like "PUSSY", "COCK", and "SEXUAL EMPLOYMENT"
>Friend tries to take it back off it, teacher (who was in his 70's) sees commotion an comes to see what's happening
>Finds crossword, thinks it belongs t my friend
>stares enraged at paper and starts reading aloud
>calls other teachers into room
>teachers make several copies of the crossword, giving them to all of his teachers
>one gets hung up in teachers lounge cork board with his picture next t it
>English teacher calls him "mr.extensive vocabulary"

High School
>skip class to hang out behind the science block
>rape the girl i'm with
>she tells her guidance teacher, I get detention for the rest of the week.
>next time i raped her i had to change schools
>still meet up with her from time to time for sex

7th grade:

>Hit friend with textbook
>detention

8th grade

>hit friend with textbook
>detention

10th grade

>caught smoking outside
>detention

11th grade

>Riding around on a computer chair with wheels
>Detention

>11th grade
>hot day
>bring half frozen water bottle to school
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>hanging outside with some friends
>mutual friend grabs my water bottle, cracks other girl over the head with it
>get detention for having a weapon
>girl who hit other girl gets off scat free

>school bus never came
>30 kids get detention for lying

>Fly to school using rocket boots
>detention for not getting landing clearance

>Year 1
>Teacher finds piss on the girl's toilets floor
>Asks class who did it
>No-one answers
>Gives all boys in class detention
Bloody women teachers

>7th grade principal's office
>principal is getting me in trouble for loitering in the bathroom with 7 other people
>call the principal a faggot to her face
> 2 weeks suspension

>Senior Year
>Get jumped by 5 mexicans,
>Stab one in the eye with a pen, pummel another one's testicles
>Get blamed for starting the fight when I didn't
>Mexican principle justifies it when all 5 of them beating the shit out of me because I look white

Good times man, good times. :\

>>9087545
Seriously, did you blind a Mexican in one eye with a pen in your senior year of high school? That's a really fucking great story to tell at the bar.

>7th grade
>Me and a friend are jokingly stabbing each other with pens
>Teacher sees us
>Give us detention for fighting

>>9087581
Yeah, but they also broke my nose, both pinky fingers, and cracked a rib. So it's not really much of a story unless you edit it.

But the only reason they did that is cause I called them wetbacks on one occasion and they got all butthurt.

I guess their true payback was making me get held back a year cause I lost credit because of the incident.

>in third grade
>cutest mother fucker in school
>hottest cheerleaders talk about me all day, including 4th and 5th graders
>make out with gf inside tube of jungle gym
>9 years old
>fuck yea

>>9087655
so then it's your own fault, moron

>>9087674
>cheerleaders
>4th and 5th grade

Please, tell me where you went to school.

>>9087714

u jelly bro?

>>9084037
Hey anon lemme get a chip

>Fourth grade.
>Asking the teacher why Jesus hates her.
>Ask her if it's because she's a gook.
>She's super Christian.
>RAEG.
>Spend two hours for a week in detention. Spend it staring uncomfortably at the teacher/rapping my pen against the desk repeatedly.

>>9087703
No, not really, they were from my neighborhood and had always picked on me from the get go even though I just ignored them. Eventually I just get fed up and stooped to their level, and I guess they figured that they didn't like their easy prey talking back to them so they jumped me since there wasn't anything better to do than beat up a back-talking nerd.

Well I got one, bout a horrible math teacher

>I stand up from my deks
>grab a kid from his desk, throw him outside, and push him against the lockers
>walk back into class
>sit down
>nothing.

>kid throws paper ball at me
>I throw it back at him
>Get sent to office

The fuck Mr. Wong? Apparently violence is ok in your book. Pimply faced motherfucker.

> Pizza day at my school
> Buy 3 slices
> Kid who didn't get pizza ask for a pepperoni
> I take out a pepperoni and put it over their hand
> quickly pop it in my mouth
> Cool face
> Get punched in the face
> Laugh uncontrollably
> Get detention along with the guy who punched me for causing a scene

Good times man.

>grade school
>on the swingset during recess
>asshole who always tries to pick a fight comes up to throw me off
>flying leap from swing to his face

Totally deserved that one.

>Get brooms out of cleaning cupboard
>Get wheely chairs from computer room
>Me and friend have chair jousting game down school corridoors
>Guys pushing us are going really fast
>Miss each other completely, I fly down the stairs and hit a classroom door
>Friend breaks a window with his broom
>Detention

Well op I was a trouble maker from grades two threw five and I spent most of my days in the principal's office.

Once when I think I was in the 3rd or 4th grade I got in trouble for kicking the shit out of a socket on the wall. I broke it so I got detention. Also I used to flip off the teachers and older kids while sitting on the bench outside of the principal's office. Also we had the bad kids table which was for all the detention trouble makers. I sat at that table everyday.

I was one of the worst students in Elementary school.

Oh and before I forget I got in trouble once for something mildly racist. We had to color ppl for a project. There was a black guy and I colored him pitch black instead of brown. Which was the required color for the nigger. I got an F for coloring the darkie pitch black.

>Grade 9 French
>Nearly my entire class spends the first week harrassing our french teacher, until he breaks down and leaves the class.
>The day after, he tells us that we will spend an entire week of class and our lunch hours writing "I will try my hardest not to be a flaming piece of shit." in French (he didn't tell us this is what this meant, but a few people in the class had a decent grasp of the language).
>First day at lunch, he comes to his senses and asks (more to himself than) the four or five of us who weren't being "flaming pieces of shit" what we're doing in detention.
>I respond, "We've just killed half a forest with <<I will try my hardest not to be a flaming piece of shit.>>"
>He laughs, and tells us he'll have an easy lesson plan ready for the next week.
>Got out of a week's detention, and a spare for a week by being a smartass. Feels Goodman.

>sneak around after hours
>get seen by mrs norris
>she informs Filch
>get detention with Professor Snape

totally worth it thought, got a handjob off Luna Lovegood.

Yeah she loves goooooooood.

>After school, walk in on janitor and english teacher gettin' it on, say "HOLY FUCK!"
>Next day get detention for saying a vulgar word

>>9087984
i love you and your lovegood adventures

>>9087984
speaking of which, anyone got a link to that porn video with that chick that looks like luna?

>>9088139

This

Lunaporn blox

>Quiet nerd in grade 7
>Had a substitute. Class is acting a little bit stupid. Nothing over the top. Just talking, laughing, and goofing around a bit
>Sub freaks out and calls the class 'the worst he's ever taught.'
>Entire class gets detention, a verbally reprimanded, and a written assignment.

Never heard from that sub again.

>Grade nine (?)
>walking down center of the hallway between classes, nobody around
>Turn corner, large angry poor kid also walking down the center of the hall
>Make eye contact
>epic stare down ensues
>don't feel like stepping out of HIS way
>Bump into each other, in empty hallway
>He flips out, slams me against locker by my neck
>I start laughing uncontrollably, "What the fuck are you going to do?"
>Still saying nothing, he puts me down

Fuck yeah

>Elementary school
>This one teacher hated my older sister
>The entire class is talking, including but not limited to me
>Calls me over to the front of the class
>Totally humiliates me
>I become slightly agitated
>He then proceeds to give me detention

Fuck you, Wim.

>grade 7
>everyone in gym
>Jump from desk to desk during the national anthem singing it loudly
>grade 8 teacher walks

>go though high school without getting a single after school detention
>senior year
>last week of high school
>2 minutes late for English class on last day of class
>after school detention

>5th grade: Winter Time
>Girl slides down metal slide
>she says, "geeze, look at my butt, it's all wet now"
>i say, "who'd wanna look at your butt?"
>bitch kicks me in the balls
>i throw a light jab...connects perfectly
>her nose breaks, she turns around 180 degrees. starts coughing up blood
>we both get detention :)

>8th grade: Recess
>as a joke, tied a noose out a thick jump rope
>throw it over the supporting crossbar on our basketball poles
>friends volunteer to get hung
>we hoist them up, when they signal to, we let them down
>grew bored and decided to hang someone against their will.
>kid shits bricks when we hang him, let him down when his face turns red
>surprisingly...only got detention

>German oral exam
>Think of something funny outside of class
>Repress laughter
>Called in to take test
>Get a dose of crazy laughter thinking about it
>Laugh in teachers face for almost 10 mins straight trying to speak german
>She asks if im feeling ok and if ive taken anything
> fail test
> detention

My favorite one:

>old home ec class converted to science room
>"don't you dare pull the chemical shower, we don't have the drain put in yet"
>we joke about it all year
>last day of class, my friend and I PULL THE SHIT OUT OF THAT SHOWER
>only get detention and clean-up because it's a 4 person class and teacher is cool as shit

My lamest one:
>last unit of gym class is "walking", we just walk around town
>"don't go on any grass!"
>go on some grass
>IN SCHOOL SUSPENSION!
>teacher just trying to prove his authority, I use suspension to finish my English paper so as to not fail the class

>>9090488

Second lamest one:
>get punched in the face
>detention

To be fair, I did call the guy a dickwad. But he was a dickwad.

>First day after winter break
>Hoarded a bunch of those cracker things you explode on New Years that have a prize in them cause fuck it, everyone loves those
>Bring em into school
>'lol guys lets open these in the middle of class'
>Am the only one that actually explodes mine
>Detention

>yell in a concerned tone to a downs syndrome student
>"BE CAREFUL OF THOSE SPIDERS, BLACK"
>black(the guys names) freaks out
>runs to the bathroom, turns all the taps on and floods the place
>gets naked, writhes on the wet floor going "EHHHHH EHHHHHH EHHHH EHHHHHHH"
>get afterschool detention and have to write 200 lines, "must not talk to or scare the special students"

>Skip most of my grade 10 science classes
>In low level grade 11 science, basically review of grade 9 because of that
>Questions in text are too easy, so I answer all of them in very roundabout ways, with numerous inappropriate jokes in which I accuse my friend of committing incest
>Teacher comes by, "anon, do your work!"
>"I'm done."
>He doesn't believe me, starts reading my answers outloud, stops mid-sentence and after a brief pause he says "you have detention after class."
>Don't show up, all my answers were correct.

Same class:
>substitute teacher, we watch a video
>after video there's a quiz on said video
>friend and I were talking the entire time
>when we don't know the answer we either reference old SNES games or mock the teacher's hairstyle
>we get detention
>we don't show up, she's just a sub

My school didn't really have a real way to organize detentions or anything, the teachers just relied on the students to show up - we all knew the teachers were powerless.

>turning in papers
>papers passed to the front of the row
>draw penises on my friends paper before they get turned in
>he gets and F because of said penises
>while hilarious i felt bad he got an F and turned myself in
>detention

>Everyone's playing around
>The guys starts touching the girls, poking them
>I approach a girl
>All the dudes are cheering on me
> I poked her arms, kidding around
>touched her crotch
>She screams
>Teachers arrives
>Well, lets just say that I got really fucking scolded
>Mother and father scolds me as fuck
>Grounded and other punishments are applied
I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I DID WRONG, HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN!? GODDAMN YOU

>>9087353
>girl who hit other girl gets off scat free
Intense detentions you had.

>fourth grade
>having fun with my friends in lunch
>I decide it would be really cool if I stomped on a ketchup packet and made it explode
>I stomp on a ketchup packet, to the delight of my friends
>ketchup squirts out of the packet like water from a fucking fire hose and ends up in some first grade girl's eye
>entire cafeteria looks at me in shock horror as this girl flails around trying to get the ketchup out of her eye
>get really embarrassed and red in the face
>chastised by entire present cafeteria staff
>end up having detention after school
>cry so much during detention that they give up on me and send me home early

>Grade 2
>This guy has been bullying me for two years, no reason
>Sitting down for lunch
>He kicks my lunchbox across the floor
>I snap, get up, punch him in the throat
>He coughs up blood
>Detention
>feelsgoodman.jpg

>Entire class talking.
>Get detention.
>I was absent.

>in homeroom
>fat kid makes fun of me
>i had terrible gas that day
>get up bend over, he turns his face to see my ass as i ripped a huge smelly fart right into his face
>sit back down
>teacher walks in to see whole class gagging and me laughing
>get sent to principal, calls my mom and i get detention
>everybody walked the dinosaur

>Circa 3rd Grade
>Waiting for my mom to pick me up after school and he is taking an eternity to arrive for some reason
>Bitchy girl keeps harassing me and I tell her to go away
>She keeps annoying me
>She eventually starts scratching me and doing other stupid girl shit to me
>I nail her in the head with a rock
>She cries and runs off
>Whatever

After a while
>She comes back with one of the morbidly obese yard duties
>She tells pulls me aside, gives me a stern talk and says I have to sit with her the next morning before school
>Skip school the next day