>>8757164

Congratulations, I lol'd OP.

Pathetic moments, erm, I can't really think of any.
I've had many of them though, rest assured.

When I shit myself at a concert and staid for the entire thing

Just being cool.....

You were saying that while taking a long drag of your cigarette while wearing ray-bans, right? That's why your voice was lame, cause of all the smoke?

Girl asked me my name on the bus, I replied and that was about it... I love being stand-offish

Talking about raping girls as a joke to a friend in front of 2 attractive girls

Good god I need to pay attention to my surroundings.

got drunk and thought i was on 4chan

called a kid a nigger

etc >_>

>implying you did anything wrong OP

Women are not as picky and insane as you think

Honestly OP that isn't really as bad as you think it is, she probably thought you were being sarcastic or some kind of smartass.

tell a girl "whats up?" in a most weird way, she laughs, her friend laughs, i cried.

when I came to the realisation that I do have schizophrenia and my porygon was just part of my imagination.I must have looked retarded ;_;

>>8757164
IF you made a troll.jpg or awesome.gif face while saying that you are a king.

keep being kool

MOAR STORIES PLEASE AND THANK U
COMEANDGETMEROBOT

Told the joke "Why are women watching porn till the end? They are waiting for the wedding.". Than realized I am talking to 2 girls.

Realising I have few friends and pretty much no social life/ability to connect with others. FML.

Don't you know, OP? Every moment in a robot's life is pathetic.

Every social moment.

When I start talking to someone I begin to sweat like crazy and have no idea what to say. I'll usually end up saying something like you did OP.

Lost my virginty to an escort, then pretended I just got out of a bad relationship so she wouldn't think I was a massive loser. Oh god, take it back, TAKE IT BACK

You know the Swedish Chef? From the muppets?

If you talk to a girl at length it is a bit like you're him. They don't listen to the words, they pay attention to how you present them.

Watch how a successful dumbass guy talks to girls. It's almost certain that everything he says will be cringe-worthy. But with his body language he communicates warm and affection and they respond to this.

Talked about wincest with a friend who I suspect goes on 4chan with two other friends present, one being a girl. Fuck I made myself seem like a creepy fucker. :(

>>8757539
Fucking word.

thisneedstobeseenblox

I always say "not much, just being awesome". It's a pretty good response, awesome is a much better word to use than cool.

I don't really have pathetic moments because, as stated above, I am awesome.

>>8757434
That's a good joke, I'm a girl but I'd still laugh at it.

i think OP is a pretty cool guy. ehs just being cool and doesn't afraid of anything

ITT robots blow things way out of proportion.

Actually I thought of one, I ordered two pizzas once as I thought I could have one for breakfast.

I shouted "Honey the pizzas here" into my studio flat which only has 1 bedroom (Door was open).

He said he didn't have a pen and couldnt see the bit he was trying to sign to say it was delivered, so not thinking I said come in it's lighter in here, so he came in and signed it and handed them over.

Then he realized the flat was empty .__.

Just looked at me and then left

>>8757586

He probably realised that he was "honey" and got out of there quick enough before you pulled the chloroform on him

>buying something in the store I work at after I'm off
>cashier is a girl, asks if I work tomorrow
>tell her no, transaction ends
>have a nice day off!
>you too
>pause midstep and turn around quickly
>er, I mean, if your day is off tomorrow, too
>she pretends not to hear
>walk away quickly

>>8757661
Oh my god I hope no one else was there at the time

>>8757586
haha wow thats pathetic

>>8757661
>>8757748

I wouldn't worry about that one. Half of the cashier business is pleasantries on auto-pilot. They'd do that and see that all day.

>>8757164
Derp.
All you had to do was say in such a way as to make it sound like you were being ironic and you'd get total hipstervictory.

Every day, when
>girl asks me something
>stutter, blush, forget what I was saying

A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING
A GANGBANG OF WHINING

>>8757840
A WHANGBANG OF GINING

>>8757748
Well yeah, she had another customer behind me and was beginning to ring them up already. :X

>>8757164

I'm still laughing OP. Thanks for this.

>>8757847
This should not be funny, but I lol'd. I really lol'd.

If it sounded like you were being sarcastic then shit may have been good. Just play it off like self deprecating humor.

>>8757661
wat... this is such a mind fuck

Pathetic moments. I'd probably consider a pathetic moment to be a time when I look back at something I did and physically cringe at the mere thought. I have so many of them but they're not worth remembering because that's silly. Or maybe I have a crappy memory. Anyway, mine are mostly just social awkwardness (putting it lightly).

Oh good god I just thought of one.
So it was grade 9 in high school and I was playing in a coffeehouse with my band. Of course everybody sucked, it was high school. The song we played was The Trooper by Iron Maiden. But wow, we were god awful. I was playing bass and holy good god I was terrible. I didn't know I was terrible at the time cause I was a huge faggot. The kicker was that a girl that I liked came specifically to watch my performance... I told her we were really good. And so after we play our song I say "Hey, so what did you think?". She just gives me this look, then reluctantly says "Oh you guys were great." God it was painful.

OP is the best guy. The best guy.

I wake up and look in the mirror.

Told my highschool crush I went to juvie for awhile
DERPI'MSOCOOLFORBEINGBADLOLZ
looking back, I cringe at how much of a faggot I was

>>8757297
We're not?

was making a joke to two guys.

Messed up one of the words in the joke and froze up, didn't say anything for 10 minuets than literally sprinted off.

I've recently started messing up the order of words and shit when I talk. "So are you the theater going, err I mean going to the theater are you? I mean Are you going to a the theater?" I start to mumble and get quieter and quieter until I just give up, all in the matter of like 5 seconds.

I think OP is actually kind of awesome.

I didn't have my contacts in, saw my professor walking upstairs, asked if we were meeting upstairs today to conference. He looks, says, "I don't know... maybe" then says, "do I know you?" Wasn't my professor, just some random older guy who looked like him. Awkward.

>>8757586
And you gave me flack in my thread? Damn, son.

One time I was having a conversation with one of my uncles about one of my cousin's friends, only to realize that we weren't talking about the same person. To be fair, he does mumble a lot and often brings up random topics in conversation.

Op you are totally right

I would have said the exact same fucking shit and i have said worse

Once a chick said "hey what's up how's it going"

I simply replied in a monotone voice "Not much just trying to live you know?

and the convo ended there. I don't pretend to be someone who i am not...i never do that shit

When I was a child/teen, can't really remember how old, I was with my parents in the mall in the city and I needed to piss. So I went in the public bathroom, and all the stalls were taken. I could ofcourse, huge fag as I were/am, never use the urinals. But this time I somehow decided to go for it. So I step up to it, pull my pants down, then my trousers, so my junk and butt just hangs out. Standing there, people walked in and used the urinal beside me. Wasn't able to finish, pulled my pants and trousers up and walked out.

Still today I have to be really drunk to actually use a urinal with other people in the room.

>at uni i squeeze some random girl's ass and say : you have a wonderful aura
>i go up to any girl and say : bond...james bond

>i am at a caffee shop with a girl, i stand up to pay ..10 dollars sir...10 dollars?? do i look like i can do the motherfucking moonwalk? i put my black glasses on then i do a motherfucking moolwalk

>>8757206
pretty sure this guy takes the cake

Once as a teen it was my birthday, and one of my friends suggested I could have like a getogether. I just said ok and said he could come by at the time my mom had arranged a small family dinner, just my parents, my sister and her family. So at the day he comes and asks "so who else is coming?" I just mumble something about how him coming was all his idea. Then we sit down and eat dinner in silence with my family.

Building up my confidence to ask this girl I hardly knew at uni out for a coffee. Laughable extradionary use of willpower, I am literally shaking and coldsweating, looking at myself in the mirror in the bathroom, then walking out and in to the lecture hall, approaching her, saying hi. Then mumble, laughing visibly at myself and the awkwardness, then asking her some bullshit about if she got the lecture plan.

A friend of mine dragged me to this hipster hangout, the town is right next to a college so naturally it is full of douches. I was miserable all these trustafarians and hobo hipsters were bumming me out. We decided to go get some dinner at a Thai restaurant, the place was awful. They played hypnotic elevator music and had posters of the food you were ingesting.The food was basically over priced Ramen noodles. The upside was the waiter was smiling at me I thought we had a connection. I told my friend to leave so I could ask her out. After finishing my meal I strolled up to the cash register, and as smoothly as possible asked if she had a name. She said her name was Tid Tee, which sounded exactly like titty, I gave her a look like god your parents must of hated you. She spelled it out on a piece of paper T-I-D T-E-E. I collected my thoughts and gave her a smirk like Frank Sinatra and said well Tid Tee when you get off work, do you wanna go dig the town with me. She burst into laughter and said no, she had to get to bed early to go to work in the morning. The other patrons in the restaurant tried to comfort me by not making eye contact. It is really depressing and embarrassing when you believe you have made a connection with someone, only to realize they were using you.

i finally worked up the nerve to tell this girl that i liked her but all of it seemed to disappear when i was in front of her. my voice was shaking, my hands were in my pocket, i don't even know why i kept going. it was like roller coaster that i couldn't get off.
after she rejected me and i got home, i cried bitch tears into my pillow for a long time.

>>8758405
I don't think that's lame. I think Yoda is cool as balls.

OP you could have turned the whole thing around simply by laughing at yourself and making it sound like you're a funny dork.

When I was fifteen in an attempt to make some friends I threw a birthday party and invited all 200 people in my year.

Not a single person showed up and I pretty much cried the whole fucking night.

Most pathetic I have been in my life; my parents realised just how much of a pathetic low life I was to my peers.

I pissed myself on my first day of college.

Got knocked out by my best friend's GF.

>>8759268
Son of a bitch....IM about to tear up right now just thinking about that. Just thinking about your PARENTS having to see you like that and let it process in their minds is worth the tears. Fuck man, I hope your social situation improved over time...Damn it...

Last week I had a test in math class. I sit next to this girl that I talk with every once in awhile, and she gets up to leave before me. Well I finish a few minutes later and she's sitting out at a table by the exit outside the classroom. I say hi and start talking with her, and the entire conversation is pretty awkward with lots of odd pauses and such, not to mention I'm just standing there while she's sitting. By then I'm ready to get out of there, but as I'm walking away I remember I forgot to ask her how she did on the test. So I walk back a little and continue the conversation for as long as I can manage. Shes tells me what she's studying at the table, I tell her "well have fun with that," and walk away as quickly as possible. Haven't spoken to her since.

Fucking hell.

>Meet guy on OKc
>Spend all night talking to him on the phone
>We get along insanely well
>End up masturbating over the phone
>Decide to meet up the next day
>We fuck almost instantly
>Sit there for next hour awkwardly
>Eventually makes up some excuse to leave

>>8759520
I don't see anything wrong with this.

Was on the receiving end of a kinda EBM fight. After i got the shit beaten out of me in a fight, and the guy was walking away - I shouted "YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN". Not a nigger though.

>>8759557
He was a cool guy and we never talked again. I'd never had a one night stand and I never intended to, and then he fucked that up for me. I just got caught up and then we ruined what could have been a really interesting relationship.

>>8758405
You're not alone friend er friend alone you're not

15-16yrs old, at hooters giftshop ask employee how much a license plate frame is with voice cracking hardcore as soon as i say how, friends and some kids from my school i don't really know all hear me and lol uncontrollably

>meet up with new girlfriend and her friends
>talk about our majors
>i say theres not much of a future my major (psychology) but i chose it anyway because i thought it was interesting
>all her friends are psychology majors

God, this thread is why I am a cumdumpster with a fetish for shy, awkward virgins. Cutest fucking thing in the world. Reading about hang-wringing, shuffling embarrassment makes me want to just fucking schlick.

thinking to myself omg where is my phone, freaking out, oh it's in my hand. this works for a variety of other things as well; car keys, camera, wallet, ID, tools, etc.

yes i am this retarded

If I either haven't known a friend for a while, or am not on a strictly "student-to-student" or "worker-to-worker" relationship, I CONSTANTLY stick my foot in my mouth. CONSTANTLY.

The most pathetic part is fighting off the temptation to not go back and say "I really meant this... No, I mean I meant this..."

>>8759803

>Says so a fat 300 lb neckbeard disguised as a "female".

0/10

>going to my car from a crowded shopping mall
>some GIANT nigger walks up and tries to sell me one of his mixtapes
>I try to gracefully tell him no and begin to get in my car
>He follows me and begins singing and dancing for like 3 fucking minutes.
>I'm forced to watch.
>Eventually I buy the shitty burned CD for 15 dollars just to get him to leave me the hell alone
>Later console myself that I did it because I was just giving charity to poor black people.

Not really pathetic but, erm.

I've been hit on a couple of times (I think 4 so far) by girls (I'm a guy). Anways, every time they would say something like
"Oh! You skate! Hey, you should teach me sometime!"
I'd say "Er, it's really hard..."
"Oh no worries anon I can learn!"
"Well, I don't really skate that often..."

and the conversation goes on like that for a while as I try to get out of the whole thing politely only to end up sounding like an asshole at the very end :/

>Hang out with girl and her friend
>We pick up some guy that her friend likes
>We go to the park near her friends house
>Her friend and the guy go off, we are left alone
>She clearly wants me to kiss her (talks about how they are probably off making out)
>Get nervous, talk about school and pokemon

I am such a fucking loser.

>>8759927
pokemons ? man, you fucked up good.

>>8759924

>Bawwwww girls like me :(

>>8758676
I too have to be drunk if i use the urinal i hate fucking standing next to some fucking stranger while i piss although ,if there is a partition between the urinal i'm using and the one next to me it's gen not a problem. The worst tho is when i think to myself wow it'd be rly awkward if it takes me a few seconds to start pissing after i open my fly fly opens and idk stage fright i guess could sum it all up

>>8759927
>>8759927
HAHAHAHAHAHA
OH LORD HOW I LOL'D

So how about them pokemans.

I dont even give a shit this guy takes the prize

>>8757164
ITT; OP blows a slight speech error out of proportion, allows himself to think that this somehow makes him pathetic.

This is a fucking greentext thread, faggots. Just because you don't write in greentext doesn't make it more original.

This happens every week to me;
>go into University German seminar/capstone/thesis class
>remember I've never learned how to actually speak German (despite 9 years of language training), only read/write it
>stutter, stumble, fail at grammar, generally butcher the spoken language whenever I open my mouth
>face is permanently red in that class


I had to give a presentation today, robots. 15. Minutes. Of. Butchering. And. Pained. Expressions. From. My. Peers. Whatever though, it was the last class period of German for me EVAR. I was ecstatic.

>>8759948
Seeing as I'm 22, almost done with college and only have had 4 girls show interest in me, it's pathetic. Also, they were clearly not what I'd consider attractive.

>>8759964
Nobody cares about your green text.

>Greentextblox

>>8759947
>>8759962

I don't even like pokemon.

>watching a movie with the girl I have a crush on.
>not a date, not a real movie theatre, was like a uni showing we both volunteered to do
>almost alone in the theatre
>she is nervous for an upcoming test at uni so she leaves withouth a word to read in the hall outside.
>leaves her coat in the seat
>I rub it and smell my hand.
>feels like an insane creep

Am I an insane creep?

This happened yesterday

>Go for a pre-employment drug test
>The doctor is a woman
>I really have to piss
>Go into the bathroom to do my thing
>Can't piss. WTF I was almost pissing myself just a minute ago.
>5 minutes later....
>Still can't do it...
>Hear a knock. "Are you all right?"
>"Yeah, just give me a minute"
>5 minutes later I finally piss a pathetic amount...I'm relieved
>Hand her the vial and get red and get the fuck out as fast as possible
>Come home and piss a gallon
>FUUUUUUUU

>>8759964

Wait, I thought that he thought it was awkward because she was trying to ask him to hang out or something. The "You too" was the problem? You're a faggot OP, you were oblivious that hse wanted to do something with you that day.

>>8759595
You now realize that if you phoned him it wouldn't be a one night stand.
>>8759882
Put that shit up on TPB, was it good?

>>8759927

There is absolutely no way that could have happened. If she really wanted you to kiss her, you wouldn't have been such a pussy. People just arent this awkward.

>>8760031

You'd be surprised at just how awkward people can be.

Nothing much, just being cool.

wow, i haven't even been embarrassed for the longest time

i'm not sure how i could be

>>8759982
Hey, fuck you man. Pokemon is awesome!

Getting nervous during school presentations. I know everyone else experiences this as well but in retrospect why. Think about it. Everyone else in the class is forced into the same situation as no one really wants to do a presentation. No one in the audience really cares about the material being presented which is always quite obvious. Half of the presentations required for college are done in classes where you know absolutely noone else in the class so why one earth should one even care how the presentation turns out it's not as if these people will ever be seen again other than at best a casual encounter. it's never as if the outcome of a presentation really truly effected anything else for me that day

>>8760014
I've only done one pre-employment drug test, but I made the mistake of going to the bathroom earlier. Worst decision of my life. I had to drink a few cups of water and just sit there and sit there in that room. It was so boring.

>Having a terrible day, sick, losing voice, trying to finish a project in the Honors Lounge.
>Guy I like walks up, makes casual conversation about class.
>Panic, feel my face turn red after being taken off guard.
>He makes a joke about the only class we share.
>I turn it awkward by one-word answers and let my voice quiver.
>Another girl joins in the conversation from NOWHERE, she dominates and reciprocates his pleasantness. This goes on for 30 minutes without me saying a word.
>They leave for class together and remember me last minute, inviting me along.
>Trail behind, trying to find something to say. Voice disappears entirely.
>Never speak to him again.

Feels god awful. I'm usually confident, but what the fuuuuuuck.

>>8760159
yeah being caught off guard always sucks

For those of you saying there's nothing wrong with what op did. Try saying it out loud, it sounds really stupid.

My worst was probably in college, it was our first day of this class, there were about 3 people in the room and this really pretty girl walks in.

She sits down and then looks at me and says "hes cute" in front of everyone. (typical loud mouth cunt).

I didn't say a word, just looked confused.

Felt like killing myself.

Oh yeah, and she meant it, she looked really offended

My pathetic moments are just straight-up pathetic, not really funny. Like the time I failed a freshman writing class for the fourth time. Though, that'll be trumped if I fail it this time.

Oh, or the thousands of times I've posted on /r9k/ about how I'm a 21-year-old kissless virgin with nothing worthwhile about himself, hoping for some nonfat chick to pity fuck me. This post, included.

I don't think there's anything more pathetic than that, honestly.

>>8760228

I'd pityfuck you, I'm sure of it.

>>8760205
You just have to say it in an awesome way.
Think about it.

"What's up?"
"Just being COOL, man!"

my left hand is suffering from carpal tunnel because of how much I fap with it and thei weird way I do it

>>8760159
shy little girl


kill yourself

>>8760216
>Receive compliment
>Kill yourself

Brilliant elegy my good chap!

>>8760067

Yeah, but, pokeman? Srs

>>8760242

I'm sure that you're either:

-A fat chick
-A dude
-A chick that actually would pity fuck me, but lives halfway across the country
-A chick that I'll talk to a bit but eventually she'll get bored and stop responding to my messages
-A chick that really sounds like she wants to pity fuck me, but eventually starts going out with another guy when I'm too much of a pussy to go to you and friendzones me

>cute roomate touching my arm unexpectedly
>recoil in horror

when i went to take the SAT i met a nice, gorgeous girl that lived a state over, about an hour away. at the end when we were walking out, instead of asking for her number all i could say was "it was good talking to you, see you around"
fuck it i'm probably never seeing her again

>>8758784
AAAHHHH it hurts how awkward that is.

>>8760014

Soldierfag here, we do drug tests all the fucking time.

It's seriously not a big deal if you can't pee a lot, or have to wait a minute. It's VERY common for someone to have difficulty peeing on demand.

>>8757164
>"Hey, what's up!"

Me: Roarrr!

They: O.o

>>8759803
I think you flirted with me in high school, you asked me out and i mumbled and made excuses.

>>8760354
>-A chick that actually would pity fuck me, but lives halfway across the country

I'm probably not in your country at all.

>>8760508

That happened to me in high school. 21-year-old kissless virgin here. There was this one chick who'd always flirt with me, but she'd always have a boyfriend so it was just playful flirting, you know, "Oh, what a cute and innocent boy who has never been with a woman, I can play with him all I want and he'll never do anything weird like ask me out; how fun!" However, in senior year, she stopped being flirty after her last boyfriend dumped her. She would say things like, "Hey, you should give me your number!" or, "We should hang out sometime!" I would always mumble and make excuses, like you said.

Turns out, she had a big crush on me for a while, like a month or two, that all her friends knew about. I didn't find out until after she moved past me and got a new boyfriend. Oh well...

>tear tickets at the theater
>someone I vaguely know from my highschool shows up with her boyfriend and her boyfriend's friend
>it's slow, and we have a little conversation
>the friend asks if I'm married, then proposes to me

I don't even remember how I answered, but probably just stuttered. Whatever I did, I didn't end up getting his number, because I'm a dumbass.
That was years ago, but it sticks out pretty well.

OP here, I just remembered. I actually said "Nothing much, just being cool and stuff."

Alright, here's my pathetic moment,

So I never really go to partys and shit but my relatives were in town and I just thought "hey I'll make it look like I'm some popular douche bag to impress!"

We go to this party and me, being the socially awkward person that I am, start dancing rather stupidly. I'm really trying my best to look all natural but I suck pretty hard. I finally get the hang of it and suddenly one of my relatives ask, "what the fuck are you doing?" I look around and people are looking at me like I'm a moron that can't dance (which I am) I pathetically reply, "oh just...jokin' ha ha?"

Never been to a party ever since.

not really awkward, just pathethic:

>back home on vacation
>newly divorced sister wants to get out of her apartment for awhile, asks me to come with her to the town bar.
>says yes because its the "brotherly thing to do"
>have a panic attack on prospect of meeting old class"mates" in that enviroment
>cancels
>realizes you are more fucked up then you are aware of.

>>8760605

That's actually pretty badass.

>>8760629
Thats like my biggest fear, meeting people I used to know. On the rare occasions we just ignore eachother, but if it was one of my former best friends (fulltime basement dweller here), it would be so weird as fuck.

>>8760568
Maybe awkward but not really your fault?
I think you are excused beeing speechless when people you don't know starts acting crazy.

>>8760629
Geez, that does suck. You must really have really bad self esteem to protect yourself at the cost of comforting your sister in her time of need. Thing is, I don't look down on you or hate you for it. I know what it feels like for fear to rob you of the ability to do what is right. It grips and controls you and suddenly fear is the reality and everything else gets shut out until it dissipates. You probably felt like shit for letting fear take you like that, but its more common than not. I just hope you manage to deal with it so that it doesn't destroy your connections to the people you love.

You know that joke that goes "What's long, hard, and full of seamen?"

I walked up to a group of girls in- what... 8th or 9th grade- anyway... I tried to tell it but I delivered it a little differently than that.

"WHAT'S LONG FIRM AND FULL OF SPERM???". Yeah.

>>8760720
what is a yacht

>>8760699
hah I got this former best friend, which was the most fucked up dynamic ever. When I occasionally see him at the store where I work i just get this mild panic and actively tries to hide from him. One time he just suddenly walks up to the counter with some dudes and we just totally ignore eachother.
I think half of our injokes in highschool was about awkward situations with the rest of the people in the school. Now it's like it has come full circle or something.

>>8760720

>MY COCK.
>WANT A LICK?

Every single one of my social moments up to 11th grade, when I grew a pair and stopped being LOL HARDCORE HER DERP.

Best move I ever made.

>>8760712
Yeah well thanks I guess.
Thing was I was really surprised. You think you have done some growing up and are able to face your anxiety and jump into things that you would rather avoid. Then it just hit you like a sledgehammer.

>>8757239
I have that lame voice thing if I run into someone after not using my voice for a few hours. Did it yesterday, but it was saying "What's up" to a male neighbor I don't like at all.

Hopefully you only a have a set number of those moments per lifetime and I will use up a few more of them on people I don't need to impress.

>hot and really cool girl I work with says that I should come out and drink with her and her friends/other people from work
>"I don't think so"

OH GOD I just remebred in the most embercing shit that ever happened to me.
I wanted a milk shake, I asked my (girl) friend if she want some, she said "no thank you but i'll come with you".
I bought her one anyway, she was like "wtf u did that for I dont drink that" and I had to drink both.
Felt bad man

> see the girl i like
> try to say "what's up" but voice cracks BADLY on "what's" so don't finish
> stare at her for five seconds
> turn around, walk away

:\

>>8761020

also, I sit next to her in one of my classes, and one day I asked her if I could borrow a pencil and she complied so she leaned down to reach into her bag which was in between us and i FUCKING RIPPED ASS. it was very faint, but she definitely heard it. i fucking suck.

I've been a loner my whole life. First day of 10th grade two new students were talking in class. They hadn't yet figured out I am an autistic loser so they asked me if I had any tips about the school. I told them classroom #154 was abandoned no one ever went in there and the windows were always open. If you climbed in the window during lunch you could sit on the floor and no one could see you sitting alone. They both stared at me in absolute horror then went back to their conversation. In highschool I sat in on the floor of that room every break but for two weeks after that I sat inside the cabnet in that room because I figured one of them might want to hang out in there alone and I didn't want to be blocking it. Years later I realize what I had done. Now I cring every time I remember it.

>schooltrip to England
>first time drunk
>just sits by myself and laugh at the absudity of my life
>I get told that one of my friends have made a move on this girl that is the pariah in the class that my other friends makes fun of.
>My friend walks in to the room.
>I point at him.. and I laugh. And laugh, and laugh, and laugh. He gets pissed but just walks away.
>Pariah girl and friend made out drunk on the schooltrip in 12 grade, I am now a kissless 23 year old virgin etcetc.

>>8761132

I've been on this board since the beginning yet this is still quite possibly the most pathetic thing I have ever read. You sat INSIDE a cabnet inside an empty classroom and you didn't see anything wrong with this?!

>>8761132
man, you just remember something you did and is just liek "What the fuck were I THINKING!"

>meet girl I like randomly on the bus
>manage to have awkward conversation
>bumps head into window

>>8761132
oh my deear lord

>>8757164
oh man OP your a legend, I haven't legitimately lol'd in a while

shit I am just going to continue dumping retarded stories from my childhood.

>independent project in music class, 9th grade
>me and my retarded outcast friends playin the drums. Not for real, just hammering on them while listening to cds.
>crazy russian taking full control, he takes all the real drumset things while me and my other friend sit there with one small drum each
>teacher promised private presentations to everyone who wanted, but bitch changes her mind on the fucking last day.
>try to refuse playing for the whole class, but crazy russian caves, we join.
>teacher bitch think it will help on the embarrassment if we play with the door closed and the whole class in the hall.
>plays we will rock you on the cdplayer while hammering aimlessly on our drums.

I used to be friends with this girl at university; /r9k/ knows the type because it's the type of girl they dream of: a sweet, mathematically inclined, innocent and adorable girl who's at most had a few non-serious boyfriends in her entire life. When we met she became comfortable with me very quickly, and we generally hung out alone and were playful with one another.

Of course, I thought she was perfect at the time. She knew I was into her and we had a couple rough patches, mainly due to the fact that my mood and emotions revolved around her (yes, she should have definitely known this, and probably did; yes, I was a complete bitch at the time; yes, I've had successful relationships before). Long story short, a very long time into this friendship I invite her over and tell her I love her.

This is my single, absolute most pathetic moment in my entire life. It was an out-right confession of everything I'd felt and known since I met her. It was horrible, and replaying it in my mind is almost too shameful to bear. It's not that she was a bitch about it, it's that I PUT MYSELF into the most vulnerable position I've ever been in throughout my entire life.

I hate myself for what I did, but I don't think I would of hardened up if I hadn't. I may NEVER tell another girl I love her. Fuck putting that kind of trust into anyone.

I can't even imagine being in a relationship now; I've even avoided making or finalizing plans with chicks now because I just don't want to deal with the shit they bring along.

I fucking hate myself everytime I think of this. I also daydream about finding these fucks and fucking up their car or something for some long-term revenge.

>be 15, skinny and a pussy
>give 150$ for weed to an 18 year old vouched by a douchebag friend of mine
>they smoke all of it
>douchebag friend says "lol u dumb"
>don't do anything

I was at lunch with my best friend. These girls came and sat down next to us since our table was open. One of them tried engaging me in a conversation and she asked "Who do you guys hang out with?"

I replied "whoever, whatever"

what the fuck man

>>8761542

Unless you said it with interest then that's nothing too bad imo.

>Walk by cute boy in hallway
>Intentionally walk just by him
>Brush his fingers "accidentally"
>Feels sad, man

>>8761596

21-year-old kissless virgin here... you suck.

>>8761596
I am now going to try to "accidentally" brush my hand next to girls who sit next to me on the public bus.

>>8761472
How did it turn out?

>>8761596
>>8761596
I do this, but with women and their asses in a crowded hallway. Never knew it was me.
trollface

>>8761632

I'd go into details but then there's the chance of me getting recognized. I wish that I could though, it's fairly interesting.

In short, I cut contact with her as much as I could because that's the only way I could stop myself from thinking about her. I KNOW for a fact she hated this but she is too emotionally introverted to /ever/ express her feelings so I will continue distancing myself from her until she changes, if she ever does.

>Sit behind a girl with nice hair in class.
>Cross my arms on the desk and rest my head.
>Attempt to feel her hair a little without her noticing.
>She doesn't acknowledge me.
>Do it a little more.
>She pulls her hair in front of her.
>Realize it's the only hair I've touched besides my own in a long time.
>Feel real bad man.

>>8759864
>>8759803
Actually there is one extremely hot chubby with red hair from texas on here who has this fetish, I shit you not. We cammed once. It was very, very good.

>>8761065

Damn, bro. You gotta hold that shit in.

>>8761633
No, man, don't do that!
I used to "accidentally" touch asses in hallways at high school, and there was this girl with an amazing ass, and I brushed my hand against her ass. She, turns around, all of a sudden, and starts scolding me. I claimed that it was an honest accident. I could feel my face blushing. To this day, I still don't know if she believed me or not.

>>8760720
OH CHRIST. THIS GUY WINS FOR EXTREMELY JUDICIOUS USE OF CAPS TO ELICIT EXACTLY HOW IT MUST HAVE SOUNDED.

fell in love with best friend, went for it despite every reason not to. used me for non-sex, started ignoring me, and then told everyone we fucked and it's too awkward to talk to me now. No friendship anymore, just a total " what the fuck was i thinking? " moment.

Here's one.

I saw a girl I liked in the cafeteria.
Well, you know what I did, /r9k/?
I manned the fuck up, went over there, and asked if the seat across from her was open.
Then she looked at me with those beautiful eyes and-wait a second, holy shit, this is somebody else!
She smiled and said sure and, confused, I sat down, and ate silently without saying a word because I had no idea what had just happened.
A few minutes later I stood up and left, still not having said a word.
And then I found out half an hour later that she was in my class.
And that, /r9k/, was a truly pathetic experience.

>friends with a girl i was in love with for months
>i decide to MAN UP and ask her out
>she laughs nervously and says she has to get to work
>she calls me up later and has me talk to her bf
>he doesn't know i asked her out
>the next day i bring up her bf
>she tells me they've been dating for months and she wants to go to his college
>all i can say is, "Oh."
>i spend the rest of lunch crying in the bathroom

It took two years to get over her.

Since this is more about being embarrassed than being pathetic, I'll go.

I was on a field trip in like 7th or 8th grade. One of those week long, overnight field trips. It was about time for everyone to go to bed, so my friend and I who were sharing a tent together went in to get ready to sleep. Now, he knew that I liked this one girl. Let's call her, girl A. So he invited girl A and her friend, girl B over to our tent. They snuck over, and they were talking. I was incredibly awkward, so I was just sitting on the bed playing my gameboy. Girl A was sitting on my feet, just kind of watching me (which looking back on it, was so obvious that she liked me back). My bro and girl B were talking on the other bed. He convinced girl B to flash us, and I got bright red. So girl A started squeezing her boobs together, saying they were too small. Girl B then took Girl A's shirt off, saying that they'd look way bigger if she got a better bra. Anyway, long story short Girl B and my friend took off in the middle of the night, leaving myself and a shirtless girl A alone in the tent.

I couldn't say ANYTHING. I tried, but I just couldn't. She ended up leaving after that, and didn't really talk to me much anymore.

>>8762434
world's biggest faggot

>>8757531

In the South you are ashamed of being a virgin. Boys. Men. They lie about it.

>a girl sits next to me on the bus to class
>she begins a conversation with me "hey hows it going?"
>she is very energetic while i give one sentence answers being scared as shit
>i never looked at her
>she talked to me until our stop
>i'm too nervous to even look at her due to the entire crowded bus being quiet except us
>she gets off first and waits outside of the bus for who i think is me
>i get off and walk straight to the building without even looking at her

this has haunted me for years, i don't even know what she looks like and she seemed like such a nice girl, i fucking hate myself.

>15-16. Lonerfag :(
>Started going out late at night with 18yos I barely knew.
>We would go buy a slab and just drink in the streets
>I would give them like $50 every night which I'd steal from my stepdads wallet.
>We'd drink shitty alchopop drinks, realize a few years later it's like $30 for a slab.
>One time I went to hang out with them in the daytime, having lunch outside a cafe
>One of them walks up to order and I take his seat
>He comes back and is like "wtf are you doing in my seat"
>Everyone stares at me and tells me to go home.


Fuck my fucking life

>>8762434
..I think I speak for all the anons who've never had a chance like that when I say go die you fucking nigger

oh no, I just realised I have a similar story. during PE in yr12 me and this girl I liked were walking on the field away from the soccer game and she tries to hold my hand.
I pulled my hand away and laughed nervously. she asks if her boobs are too small and if I wanted to see. I said "I probably wouldn't be a good judge haha" and ignored her asking me if I wanted to see.

..now I'd do anything just to hold a girls hand, fuck you for making me remember that

I am not ashamed by my actions.

>>8762520
>>8762434

Oh lol, what was going through your head. Seriously man.

>>8761132
>>8761132

I read this over once and lol'd, but missed this

>but for two weeks after that I sat inside the cabnet in that room because I figured one of them might want to hang out in there alone

So when I read it over a second time I lol'd for 5 minutes. Best story ever.

>>8762586
fear. complete and utter fear that she was fucking with me and would denounce me as a creep to my classmates.

I remember in year7 camp, I was a fat geek who spent all my time in the fucking library so I wouldn't get bullied, so anyway at camp, I remember they boys had cabins at one end of the field and girls the other, one night I saw some guys going into the girls cabins and thought why the fuck now I'm going in as well..they were all talking and I just sat on a bed like I dnt know anyone..a teacher busted us all and we got yelled at in a row..I remember one guy was like "anon wasn't even meant to be there" Why is he here..then he smirked at me, I smiled back like I just wantr someone to hangout with..I realize now he was like "we weren't hanging out with this fat cunt" and hating me

I was taking my bike up the elevator and there was this fixter in there to. he was like "my tires almost to the shielding" and shook my head up and down in agreement

Not really a pathetic... well yeah it was fucking sad.

One night a friend and his girlfriend tricked me into going on a double date with them and this girl I liked. So I was happy, and even kept my cool, making jokes, holding hands. After the movie she asked me for a ride home and I said no problem, why not it was right across the street from my house. So I pull up and she's like "I had a really fun time tonight" and of course I say somthing fucking retarded, I don't even remember but probably along the lines of "Yeah me too, thanks for coming" needless to say I could have had the secks right then and there with the hot girl of my dreams at the time.

The next year or so my friends girlfriend told me that she had been talking about wanting to have sex with me and what not. Fuckin' Oh Well, I was only like 16 at the time!

>middle of grade 9, haven't made any new friends at this new school.
>best friend is popular and has made lots
>everyone else has a new circle while mine has all but evaporated. best friend is now basically my only friend.
>best friend starts acting strange and distant, barely talking to me
>ask him if he's sick
>no
>continues for a few days
>email him if everything is ok
>yah it's all good, love ya man
>now avoiding me in the halls
>realize hes become too cool for me

that was spring 2005. Been friendless ever since.

In HS this really hot new girl would always hang around me in gym class. I usually did not say anything. One time she was in front of a mirror and said to me, "Gosh, my butt is so fat." I looked at her and awkwardly laughed. She had to feel terrible.

Senior year, I went on four or five dates with this girl without kissing her yet. After the fifth date, she walks out on her porch with me and stalls me for like 5 minutes. I did not make a move to kiss her and literally ran to my car after a half-second hug.

Every time I talk to an attractive girl, my voice becomes high pitched and very whiny, not my personality at all.

>Go out to a bar with friends
>Get kinda tipsy
>Buy a female friend a couple drinks
>Even in a drunken haze, part of my mind asks why the fuck I'm buying her drinks, you know she's not gonna fuck you
>Drunk part tells sensible part to shut up
>I'm out #40

Also, all through HS I would laugh at (not literally) any girls' advances because I was 'too cool.'

One time this hot girl texted me that we should "go for a drive like My Friend and Anon." My Friend and Anon recently went on a drive to an abandoned parking lot and got down in the backseat. She knew I knew this. I never even hung out with her since that text.

>>8762686
Dude, that sucks. Similar thing happened to me, but I was in the middle of a group of friends. I just moved down to the less popular ones.

Not my moment but someone else's pathetic moment, felt bad man

>>Sit next to kid on bus
>>Start conversation about music
>>He says "I don't really have any friends"
>>Hardcore acne, bad teeth, ugly
>>I also don't really have friends so I agree to hang out with him

later
>>Casual conversation
>>He starts to talk about when his parents were fighting and he ran away from home, this really dramatic story out of nowhere
>> "..."

later
>>It's raining, I'm sitting on the bus by the window and he's by the aisle
>>Window is stuck open, rain is falling on me
>>I ask him to open the window for me because I'm not strong enough to do it
>>He tries
>>His long freakish fingernails break off and fall all over me
>>I scream

When I realized everyone I somewhat know or converse with at school talked to me first. If I continue like this I can foresee a very faggotry lonely future.

>>8761873

You're fucking retarded and paranoid, and you sound like an equally retarded and paranoid guy I know named Phillip Vallejo.

Is that you, Valley-joe?

>>8762642
What does this mean?

>>8762492
Oh man, similar but not as bad story here.
I somehow had some confidence the first day of college and talked to this girl I knew.
The next day in class, she walks into the room to sit behind me, smiling at me the whole way. I was too afraid to acknowledge her if she wasn't looking at me, so I ignored her from then to the rest of the semester.

>Date at Harkins
>Approach entrance, plan on opening the door for myself
>Date opens door next to the door I was planning on opening, with the intentions of letting me go first
>I catch on once I'm halfway at the other door, walk through date's door and smash side on my way

I'm cool.

>see girl i like in tim horton's
>use all the balls i have in the world to go sit next to her
>she doesn't notice me sitting there
>have to knock on table to get her attention
>have nice but brief conversation
>feel like a fucking god

actually, not that pathetic at all.

>on a roadtrip with one of my friends
>3 hours into the drive
>summoning my utmost mental focus to keep from pissing myself
>pull over to a rest station
>walk into the bathroom that's filled with people
>pull out my dick
>feel like there's a ball bearing in my urethra
>forget that I have the worst fucking case of shy bladder on earth
>squeeze out a drop
>get back into the car
>15 minutes later, in serious pain from holding it, I feel like my dick is going to explode
>have him emergency stop at 7-11
>blame it on meds I had been taking

Shy bladder fucking sucks.

>>8758167
with more details this could be insanely pathetic


>>8759268
Hooolllyyy Shit, man..


>>8760251
pretty much /thread for pathetic-ness, but keep going with the interesting stories

>>8762811
Oh God, ahahahahaha!
Awesome, ew.

>>8762494
That fucking sucks and I wish I could save old-you from that terribleness.

>>8762494
SOZ :'(

I would've been your friend.

>>8762968
>>8762990
Yeah..shit sucks. It's only slightly better now.
I'm ronery :(

>>8763029
Do you have a job? It's really easy to make friends at work.

Where you at?

>>8763029
I would kill people in order to be your friend. :(

>>8763077
Aus, ya I got a job..its ok but I dnt work with anyone my age really..

>>8763085
:3

OP here. Woah, this thread is still alive. I'm from /v/ so I'm kinda of used to things 404'ing a bit quicker.

Anyway, do you guys think I still have a chance with the girl I talked to?

>>8763106
Probable-murderer-in-order-to-friend-you here. I really want to hear a win story about your life now to undo this pathetic story. There should be a policy that if you're story is extra-bad you have to post something good afterwards so sympathetic fembots don't off themselves reading this thread.

> Run into an old friend from high school at a party
> Hang out and talk for a bit
> Go to leave, he asks for my e-mail
> Said "I don't have one" while awkwardly walking away

pathetic_attempt_at_lying.jpg

>>8763142
Yes, I don't think "just being cool" will totally kill it. It's kind of a clever response..? If you meant it as a joke....? Which you did, in retrospect, right?

Please.
Continue.
You guys all make me feel so much better about myself.
I have a ton of pathetic moments as well, they just don't come to mind right now.

>>8763150
lol :)
msn?

>>8763183
aim, if you want it. etryn4750

>>8763170
Okay yeah, same guy here, just thought of a bunch
i got caught at school watching porn by a teacher
i put a love note in this girls locker except it was the wrong one and i left my name in and shit oh god fuck i can't do this

Today, my first class was canceled so I slept in.
Today, I pumped exactly 10.00 worth of gas into my car.
Today, I went to the beach for an hour and studied.
Today, a girl I like texted me to hang out tomorrow.

>>8763170
haha, I love how good /r9k/ is at these kind of threads.

>>8763203
What happened afterwards in both situations? Were you jerking off while watching the porn?

>>8763169

Well of course I was just joking, but when I replay the scene in my head, I just sounds so dorky like I was trying too hard.

>girl i have crush on notices me in class
>she thinks im funny and smiles at me a lot but im not in her "clique", i hang around the nerd card game table ffs
>during a group project she pretty much forces her email address on me so i can send her our group work
>she adds me to msn unexpectedly after i email her
>i shit my pants
>get nervous every time she comes online
>she messages me constantly over the course of days about stupid and playful stuff
>i don't get the hint and she stops trying
>never talks to me again

Went to an RA's program. As we were leaving, I told him "cool program, guy"
I think he might've misheard me and thought I said gay. He actually is gay.

>>8763235
Shut the fuck up faggot, you still have a fucking chance with the fucking bitch you fucking retard underage fucking b&.

>>8759268
This is the saddest thing I have ever heard.
I would have showed up and we could have been faggots together.

>>8763239
Are you serious dude... How old were ya?

>>8763230
No.
I got in trouble, VP asked why i would do such a thing at school, i said my friend put it on as a joke and i thought it was a family guy episode.

For the love note thing, I got laughed at by everyone for like a week and then everyone forgot about it.

I'm glad I never went to HS in the US. Students over there sound like fucking dicks.

>cute girl from class offers to buy me something from vending machine
>refuse
>try to buy it myself
>candy gets stuck
>shake the machine for 10 minutes to no avail

>>8763297
They are. All are judgemental, and that's why some kids suffer from social anxiety to the extent they can't speak in front of the class.
This is coming from a senior in a long island public high school.

It makes me feel good that Socially awkward Penguin was not mentioned once in this whole thread.

Mine was probably when I was called on to read out of Macbeth and because of my social anxiety, I started choking up and couldn't read past the second line. It was dead silent in the room. No one knew I suffered from social anxiety because I was always quiet in class, ever raising my hand. Also I had a lot of friends in that class who started giving me strange looks after that day.
Easily the worst moment in my life so far, I still cringe when I think about it

>>8763365
when something awful is unseen and unmentioned it is code to not mention it.
way to go, faggot.

>>8763365
until you came from /b/ and ruined it

>>8763365
Commence SAP dump.

>>8763350
My HS was very nice. No one hated on anybody. It only had around 700 students, but there are three HS's in that county, so it's not too rural. Really, people like me were the biggest dicks because insecure girls and kids probably took my shyness for dislike.

I sit at a lunch table with a group of people who cannot stand me. I get my lunch, eat it, and sit there for the remaining 25-30 minutes left in that class staring at the people at other tables.

also, Share a locker with someone who hates me now and makes fun of me and won't talk to me or look at me anymore.

ALSO, insecurities about my personality and looks led me to make the guy I like a lot right now hate me and he told me he was "sorry i turned out this way".

Feels bad man.

>>8763430
Was this in the south? Or not in the US?

>>8763454
You're a girl? That sucks, because looks is usually all that matters for girls.
Anyway, I'd give you a hug. Just stop being so distant with people and be a lot more friendly. Trust me, friendliness can get you very far in life.

Omg first day of class at my new school a kid next to me said "hey what music do you listen to?" Oh me? I just listening to what everyone else listens to nowadays im a follower so i listen to what cool people listen to.


3 years later at that school, No friends.

>>8763507
I've been told hundreds of times by guys i've dated and stuff that I'm not ugly and I wouldn't say I'm ugly or I'm insecure about that. I guess I'm just insecure about weather or not I'm good enough.
which is stupid.
Thanks, though. : (
hard times are hard.

I feel badass for being a loner

>>8763528
Oh i also have another which happened 2 weeks ago. A girl finally spoke to me and we chatted after a class one, About 2 periods later we saw eachother after class and she opened her arms to give me a half hug, i thought she wanted a high five and i slapped her hand so dam hard she fell to her knees and started crying.

>>8763693
fuck man..

I don't see the problem OP.

My response is ALWAYS "Kickin' ass, you know how it is" no matter who asks.

>>8763693
Wow you are a stupid fucker.
Also i feel really bad for you ;(

>>8763528
that comment did not cause you any friendlessness, the implied attitude did (although it frequently takes kids rather far in HS, maybe you're just super antisocial)

>>8763482
WV... inb4 redneck. most of the state is quite normal, and rednecks keep to themselves.

So, when I was in my teens, think 14,15 years of age, me and my outcast friend had this thing we were doing. Now I know what you are thinking, but that isn't it. No, the thing was, while the other normal teens were going out to the local youth club, dancing and maybe getting their first girlfriends, maybe sneaking away to drink and or smoke, we would, well "watch" them. What does that mean?, well, we would go out at night, and engage in what we called "operations". That meant, predominantly "spying" on people. We would dress in dark clothing, head out on our bikes, and stalk the grounds.

We had a few "spots" or good stalking grounds that we often returned to. One was the graveyard right opposite the road to our local smalltown youthclub. We would hide our bikes in the brushes, continue on foot. We would then sneak around, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on.

Why would we do this? I guess for me atleast it was the thrill. The rush of sneaking behind the bushes, almost getting caught, and watching someone who didn't know we were there. Other stalking ground were certain neighbourhoods. We would lie in the snow, properly and darkly dressed, with binoculars aimed at the nearby windows. Sometimes we would grow bolder and escalate the operation. We would shine with a laserpointer in the windows, or ring the doorbell and scramble. Usual kids stuff I guess. Strange thing was my mentality about it. I remember I took it deadly serious. We were supposed to be PROFESSIONALS GODDAMMIT! Other younger kids would do these things and make a fool out of themselves. But we were the SILENT NINJAS! Terrorizing the society around us. Allways hidden. allways subtle. I was allways a big fan of the thief archetype and stealth in computergames, the thief class in Quest For Glory, the Thief games. We were never simple vandals, no. One time we sneaked up to the house of these foreigners and silently unscrewed stuff on their digital tv dish.

>>8763848
We shot softgun bullets on the windows of the homes were the retards lived, watching them from the shadows when they came out to look for us. The rush when you are spotted and makes your escape is exhilarating, meeting up later on the agreed upon rendevouz spot and relaying the events to your comrade.

The best memory was the time we became real thieves. We used to spy on the house of a friend of ours. This guy was even stranger than us, and really more of an outcast too. My friend used to pick on him constantly, just like he used to pick on me before we became Ninja Comrades. This guy, our "friend" had a really strange family too, living in an old and decripit hotel, or roadhouse. Several times we sneaked inside, through a loose window in the basement. We would crouch down there, throwing things up the stairs to annoy the mother and her guests up in the livingroom. We would often get caught doing this, but their mother and stepfather were allways cool in the end. He used to teach/play chess with us, and used colorful expressions like "slaughter with the whore" for when he used the queen. "You got to slaughter with the whore" he said, followed with a wicked laughter. Maybe he was beeing leninet to us because we were his stepsons only "friends".

>>8763848
That's awesome shit. Who the fuck made you think that was pathetic? Have some fucking dignity in your past.