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    • File : 1269906861.jpg-(11 KB, 275x200, WORLD WAR STORYTIME WITH PNUT.jpg)
    11 KB Pnut !!vBINEJhhim8 03/29/10(Mon)19:54:21 No.8128556  
    WORLD WAR SEVENTEEN (17);
    World War Seventeen was BY FAR the worst world war to have EVER been witnessed by mankind, for you see, it was not fought on oil, or palm trees, or carambola, but MOUNTAIN DEW: VOLTAGE. For the eskimos were creating an ice palace out of voltage, little known to be the ELIXIR OF MOTHERFUCKING LIFE. Just one can could give you immortal life, but any more than one can would result in the effects to be negated, and more than 800 cans would result in your body to develop purple purse shaped pustules on your posterior. Cleverly named as yellowtits. Well the eskimos having stockpiled MASS AMOUNTS OF LIFE STEAK began to deter the rest of the world from obtaining such nice things via pelting third world countries with radioactive vhs tapes of "Whoopie Goldberg's bootyrific slimdown" into the atmosphere above said countries thus inducing a mass widespread vomiting frenzy to force them to regurgitate the voltage. Cont'd
    >> Pnut !!vBINEJhhim8 03/29/10(Mon)20:00:19 No.8128620
    In a desperate struggle to restore order, the glorious nation the united states of america destroyed themselves with a weapon far deadlier than any nuclear device, they loaded gabe newell FULL TO THE FUCKING BRIM with oreos and sent him into space causing a gravitational pull to rip the USA off of the earth and into the sun. This, upon causing australia to become the richest country in the world reinstated a new wolrd order of farting contests. Where none were safe. So in a fit of struggle the eskimos struck out and decimated the rest of the world with their video tapes into a era known as the "freebaseless age". Cont'd
    >> sasuke 03/29/10(Mon)20:01:54 No.8128635
    absurdblox
    this is what scientology actually believes
    >> Anonymous 03/29/10(Mon)20:03:13 No.8128651
    This is a little too LOLRANDUMXD for /r9k/
    >> Pnut !!vBINEJhhim8 03/29/10(Mon)20:05:39 No.8128672
    After fourty years of oppresion, the svedish rose up from their icey homes and created a brigade of ice peasant soldiers. utilizing their minds to imagine themselves weapons and armor. Ultimately failing and causing a flurry of red snow as they drowned the eskimos to death with their blood stained corpses and cattle. Never to be one to miss out on the action Putin climbed into his super high tech ruski bear suit that stood this many stories high and weighed as many as tons as the object to the left of your moniter, if that object was made of adrenaline, sweat, and bear organs. Marching in a crazed stupor drunk off of his ass from black tea he crushed the ice people of eskiland with his furry, bloody, contraption of death and chai tea. Cont'd
    >> Pnut !!vBINEJhhim8 03/29/10(Mon)20:08:07 No.8128701
    After endless waves of vomited fish decomposing on his mighty bear walking fortress putin succumbed to a raging boner to the ear from none other than yugoslavia's very own gwenith paultro. Meanwhile the irish and brits were cockslapping about but its not as if anyone really gave a shit about those cuntwhores anyways.
    >> Anonymous 03/29/10(Mon)20:08:45 No.8128710
    >MOUNTAIN DEW: VOLTAGE

    Stopped reading here.
    >> Pnut !!vBINEJhhim8 03/29/10(Mon)20:09:26 No.8128718
    I hope you all enjoyed the story, its rather lacking and greatly underdone, I made it up on the spot and hope it entertained you. I may make more of these on further notice, ones that are actually thought out ahead of time.
    >> Pnut !!vBINEJhhim8 03/29/10(Mon)20:10:04 No.8128726
    >>8128710
    Too creative for you underage mind?
    >> Anonymous 03/29/10(Mon)20:13:18 No.8128763
    shit sux man
    >> Anonymous 03/29/10(Mon)20:15:14 No.8128790
    >>8128726
    2deep4mebro
    >> Pnut !!vBINEJhhim8 03/29/10(Mon)20:16:15 No.8128797
    >>8128790
    It's ok, just appreciate you read that far, I'll aim for better next time.

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