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03/26/10(Fri)22:17:13 No.808308522 years old
-do have a boyfriend and not a virgin (female), but we fight a lot and he seems ambivalent about being together, yet wont break up, there is constant uncertainty and tension, but I love him -work minimum wage jobs most of the year because I am too depressed and self conscious to pursue more -working good job now, only got because all I had to do was pass a test, but avoid people and make an idiot out of myself when they talk to me -dropped out of university with <2.0 GPA, too self conscious to go to class, had anxiety, didn't fit in, wasted a lot of time and money because I wanted to avoid dealing with real life -live at home, no car, no license because I get panic attacks driving -avoids people, social anxiety, 1 actual friend, one boyfriend, no one else, can't talk to people without sounding like an idiot -on computer all day when I get home or play video games -frequent panic attacks, constant anxiety and feeling unreal because I can't believe how sad my life is, disappointment at who I have become, feel helpless -depressed, often feel nothing at all -fucking acne at my age and constant disgustingly oily skin -people think I am weird, 'too quiet' even after I tried my hardest to be outgoing -feel overwhelmed easily by sensory stimulation, frequently need to be alone -clumsy, do stupid things like walk into walls -just awkward and unhappy with myself in general |