SHOWERS

i dont go to them and i hate them

Self moderation is key.

Liquor before beer, have no fear. Beer then liquor, you only get sicker.

Pace yourself. Have a glass of water between drinks.
Stick to vodka sodas with lime if you are a lightweight.

>>8054393
fuck off with your stupid rhymes.

OP:
just pay for stuff with cash. fuck tabs.

From the getgo, ask if you can run a tab with your credit card. If not, pay cash/drink. if drinks are $4, tip $1.

Nobody will start a tab for you unless you ask, so you don't have to worry about that. You have to give your card first if you want to start one. Bars aren't bad. Bad bars are bad. Go to a real bar that knows how to make good, old-fashioned cocktails, not these neon shit-tinis everybody drinks these days.

>>8054347
I am in a similar boat. I need to know what to order. I.e. Drink names and if they are considered "manly" i can only order rum and coke for so long.

What is a "rusty nail"?
Are "Eskimo shooters" manly?

tl,dr. need more drink orders

>>8054431
Order an old-fashioned. It's the manliest cocktail ever. Gimlets are tasty, manly, and refreshing during the warm months.

>>8054431
Pretty much the only manly shots are whiskey or tequila.

I just pay cash and tip $1-2 per drink

It depends on what type of bar/club/lounge/pub/whatthefuckeverwateringhole you're going to. Last two times I went was pretty dull (Too many guys, not enough women.), You should be able to pay in cash, I don't know of one place that refuses it, tipping...not so sure on.

What day of the week are you going op?

Tipping isn't mandatory.

>>8054480
Pretty much this. I feel like an asshole tipping $1 when I'm drinking bottles. Fuck dude, all you did was pop the cap off. Fuck you. If they make good cocktails, then it's all good.

>>8054546
It is if you want decent service.

Yes, you should totally tip the person who holds open a tap and hands you a beer.

>>8054561

Tip when you get good services,

Not

Tip to get decent service.

>Go to bar
>Order a Bloody Mary
>They say "We're out of mix"
>Order a Jack and Coke
>get a cup full of ice with a small amount of booze in it.

Fucking hate bars. The only good thing about bars are cute barmaids. And I can look at cute women at work.

WOMEN

I can't get any and I hate them.

>>8054588
I agree with you, but unfortunately, that's not how it really works. If you don't tip, you're likely to be ignored or even asked to leave.

>>8054610

Where the mootblox do you live?

>>8054606
Go to a real bar where they actually know how to make drinks. A place like pic related.

I've been drinking heavily for a while now and can consume about 40oz of hard liqour.

My friends all look at me funny when I bring a 26oz bottle to predrink with.

for 30 dollars I can get the same amount of booze and mix that would cost me 130 bucks at a bar.

Just not cool man, I know its a good way to meet new people but I already know enough people, and on top of that I look like a cheapskate so bartenders never service me fast enough, even though im a good tipper for those non deserving fagwhores.

>>8054638

It'd be nice, but suffice to say, I don't live in an area that supports that kind of bar, and I don't have the funds to go to such a place.

>>8054547

I never tip unless they're actually mixing something. If the bartender wants extra for opening a bottle or filling a mug from the tap, then he can go fuck himself.

>>8054461

The "Rocky Balboa."

Down a raw egg while taking devastating blows to the midsection.

>>8054664

You know, That sounds like it could be made into a usable drink.

A Raw egg and a double shot of whiskey

>>8054526
My boss keeps wanting to me go(thats why I have to) we've gone only week days (tuesdays thru thursday)

>>8054708

>going to a bar on a weeknight

Ouch. Unless it's a good community pub where manly men drink manly drinks, it's gonna suck.

All the advice here sounds stupid. Go, flounder, and take notes on your failures - try again next time.

>>8054703
http://www.youtube.com/user/keithmarszalek#p/u/8/3dyDUW1qT0c
skip to about 1:50.

I love how everyone here's recommending manly drinks to the OP. He seems like the sort that doesn't drink often, if at all. What makes you think that he'd be able (or willing) to drink the fiery, disgusting, MANLY drinks?

I just get a Yuengling draft and a shot of Jager every time. Gets me pretty drunk pretty fast.

>>8054842

WHERE'S MY GODDAMN YOLK?

> order a white russian
> shit bricks
> best drink

>>8054907
Yuengling is good for the price, but get a better shooter. Jagermeister tastes like ass.

>>8054961
not to me it doesn't. tastes great.

>>8054907

same taste as me.

Fav. beer is yuengling draft, i like jager

you dont happen to smoke copious amounts of the good herb do you? Might have a doppleganger...

>>8054974
lol. I DO! haha.

used to smoke a lot more though, but I have some right now. prepping to go out for a smoke break.

My experience with bars:
- Don't tip unless they've done something more than prepare an easy drink. (Poured a complicated shot, for example).
- Happy hours are your best friend
- Drink house spirits unless you've got an acquired taste for a particular spirit. It all tastes the same once it's mixed anyway.
- Find a nice lounge away from the bar. Otherwise you'll be yelling to communicate and drunken men will be hitting on your woman when they realise the line is too long.
- Wear a nice shirt, for fucks sake

jack and coke, captain and coke.
if you're buying a lady a drink, get them vodka and tonic or gin and tonic
i used to do a tab, but now i just pay cash and tip often. i get better service that way.

>>8055029

>captain and coke
>captain

Protip: Captain is for popcollar douchebags who wouldn't know good booze if it bit them in the dick. Hell, rum in and of itself is shit.

>>8055062

Just because you like captain and coke doesn't mean you have to ballsack everyone who does.

Tip $1 for every mixed drink that you get.

If you plan on frequenting the bar bi-weekly or even monthly, get to know the bartenders and take a tab and tip 30%

>>8055062

Good booze is pretty much the same as mediocre booze, bro.

Don't even drink that much at bars. It can be ugly real fast and the drinks are way overpriced.

>>8055062
obviously never thrown a swingset at your friends on 151