so.. you're a dude?

i have on my "what the fuck is wrong with some people" face on

just so you know

lol

that's fucked up

Wear my mother's shoes. Mix and match shoes (one boot, one sandal). Feed my stuffed animals food and make them drink milk.

I would "train" my cat to be a fighter. This consisted of taking a string, tying it around a stuffed animal bird's next, and swing the bird at my cat. He was a bad ass cat.

I masturbated to the male strippers in Spice World.

:(

>>7722413

Yes, I'm surprisingly not gay, either.

I used to wank it when I was around that age - until I discovered using soap as lube hurts.

>>7722449

i don't believe it.

there's wincest, there's getting fucked by your dog, there's pedophilia, and then there's masturbating as a six year old to Zed from Power Rangers. that last bit is easily the most interesting.

>>7722465

Well, I have never had a girlfriend, either.

>>7722409
Oh shit. That thing below his visor is supposed to be teeth. I never noticed that as a kid.

I used to fap to the episode of Eek the Cat where he had an octopus stuck on his head. I was 7. Dont feel too bad OP

When I went in my house and it was empty I used to cuss at the top of my lungs. Usually saying in this order "FUCK SHIT DAMN ASS. . . " its hilarious now that I think of it now.

>>7722409
Uhuh, and what qualities do you find attractive in Zed?

>>7722509
You have to ask? That motherfucker is ripped. Cut. Ottermode. Mask polished and proud, his crown is erect and is an example of the phallic shape, topped with a glistening "Z"

>>7722509

I don't know. I just imagined us rubbing our chests against eachother (?). I remember my first sexual erection (I was 5) was thinking about rubbing chests with Zed.

I don't find him attractive now, in case anyone is wondering.

at age 5 i used to touch myself to the animated punky brewster and her dad. and darkwing duck's daughter. and launchpad. and then the pink ranger.

now i'm 100% gay and insanely aroused by pregnant looking men (mpreg)

i'm guessing that this fetish came about from the time i was molested by some male cousin who kept trying to get me to say vagina by asking me where girls piss comes from and where babies come out of.

ROFL OP

Although at age 11 I masturbated to Tuxedo mask from sailor moon so I'm in no position to lol @ you.

OP here, my mother also never let me have a scientific calculator growing up because of the sinusoidal waveform button being truncated to "sin".

>>7722555
>I remember my first sexual erection (I was 5) was thinking about rubbing chests with Zed.

I am laughing so hard that I am crying.

Thank you. Thank you so much, just for existing.

>>7722635
I don't think you're OP, but I like your style.

When I went in my garage I said kame-hame-haaa! to scare bad guys away. Then I turned the lights on. This was around age 6-8 I think

>>7722589
Speaking of the pink ranger. I was in a hotel when I saw the mighty morphin' power rangers come on. Started fappin' as fast as I could when she was in her civvies. because those were like 10 second clips.

>>7722476

don't you dare compare yourself to me.

>:I

>>7722678

No, I really was OP.

My mother was religious.

Also, when I was a little kid, I could never go to sleep unless I imagined someone killing me. I still do this. It can't be an instant death, but rather I suffocate or bleed to death or something like that. Piling blankets on top of me to simulate a building's rubble works nicely.

>>7722634

if you are a femme you may go into detail plz.

I know I discovered masturbation at 6 or 7. It's actually pretty common for young kids with stressful childhoods to touch themselves as a way of balancing their mood.

if my brother was sick, i would make out with him for like 3 seconds(i'm a guy) so i could get sick and miss school.

i french kissed my mom once(~7 years old)

i'll never forget when i found naked news in the Real Player history list back when the family was using dial-up(1996ish)

me and some of the boys from the neighborhood would play this game where one of us would go on the floor and the others would go on top of the bunk bed, if someone on the top of the bunk bed hit the person on the bottom, both players would then go to the bottom bunk and depending on where you got hit you'd have to show/touch whoever was on the floor's dick. i think if you hit them in the balls, you've have to touch it.

fuck i have a boner now. i need to find a girlfriend

>>7722758
Sure, I'll indulge your perverted inquiry (there isn't actually too much detail).

Used to watch Sailor Moon every afternoon after school and would get this weird, tingly sensation in my vadge when I'd imagine being with Tuxedo Mask/Darian (I wanted to be Serena). Then I eventually figured out how to schlick and never looked back. I no longer masturbate to animu. The end.

>>7722839
here. pretty sure we'd throw pillows and try to dodge it Neo-stlye.

>>7722816
it's pretty common that 20yo's will touch themselves to balance their mood as well.

Back when I was in elementary school, me and my friend would take his sister's barbies and reenact sex scenes using them in their bathroom.

Looking back on it, I just realized how weird that was.