Bumping for possible epicness

yes yes yes yes
goooo

fuck yes I love these. Sadly, I have nothing to offer, except that Instructables is the site to get any kind of shit done.

If you get rid of the internet, people will die

>>7370600
OP here. That site is the shit. love it

Don't remove pants by pulling off like normal

Instead(in long sleeve pants)

1.) Grab left pant leg with right hand
2.) Grab right pant leg with left hand
4.) Rip off pants like hulk hogan would
7.) Get laid

Just tried the OP thing and I ripped my shirt. Nice going, fag.

Bump is a must

A Brita filter can turn any shitty vodka into something less headache-inducing. Obviously doesn't work with anything but clear vodkas. Don't drink that fucking blue raz shit.

All i got in my homework haze.

>>7370630
not my fault you did it wrong. plus it does work. Nice fail good sir

>>7370630
loled

ok OP here you go, folding tshirts like your life never will be the same again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5AWQ5aBjgE

Eat a Banana and drink a full 20oz sprite before fapping. Orgasms are much more intense and last longer

>>7370671
HAHAHA thats intresting

>>7370630

you're a goddamn retard then

Eat as early as you wake up in the morning. The Earlier you eat, the faster your matabolism kicks in and starts burning cals

>>7370676
Fuck you, now there is vomit all over my dick and boxers

Never masterbate with vics vapo rub. Shit fell so weird and kinda burnt a bit

>>7370710
I told you it was more intense

>>7370721

lol, haha. just thinking about that I know it's a bad idea

When dancing, focus on the movements of your feet. Everything else will follow.

If you want to lucid dream, sleep in for as long as you can.

When making scrambled eggs, don't beat them. Just stir them constantly in the pan. Add cream or creme fraiche before the eggs start to form into shapes. Add salt last. Keep it soft and wet. This is how eggs are meant to be.

Put a bright flower in a vase on your desk. Watch productivity increase.

When trimming pubes -
Use a beard trimmer. If unavailable, carefully use curved nail scissors.

If you're writing creatively and are having trouble with a character, change their gender.

>>7370575
holy shit i can get my shirt off in a fraction of a second now

i scared my dog.

>>7370727
loledd

OP's pic made me spit out my Metamucil. Holy fuck, this shit actually works.

use hydrogen peroxide to whiten your teeth.

use vinegar and newspaper to clean glass.

Want to masterbate in a different way? Take a paper towel tube, condom and vasoline. stuff the condom with vasoline and tape it to the inside of the paper towel tube.

>>7370575
>>7370671

I can't wait until summer so I can impress the ladies with how fast I can take my shirt off and fold it before jumping in the pool

>>7370762
how is my cock supposed to even fit inside of a paper towel tube?

bump


asfddddddddasdfafsasfasfasfasfavcbfdgnsbdcvbcvbcbefbfxbbsfhde

OP again.
I shat when i read that originally. Some small stuff is just cool

>>7370575

That took me like 30 seconds what the fuck

fuck you

>>7370785
Then you failed. takes a fraction of a second

I bet a ton of you are fat, but I've always used George Carlin's way of shopping for pants. don't really have the exact wording on reference, but basically you grab two ends of the wast, bring them around your neck, and they should ALMOST meet at the back

>>7370575
im an hipstr n my shrt is too tite, wat do?

>>7370759fghgfh
>use hydrogen peroxide to whiten your teeth

Can you provide me with some background on that? (whether a scientific explanation or anecdotal evidence)

>>7370769
Alternatives can but are not limited to;
Mayo jar
Empty pen
cup
Woman

>>7370804
Your not hip. you are white
If you are slightly burnt then GTFO
Put on a jersey or a baggy shirt

When running you probably hit the ground with your right foot as you exhale (like most people). This causes side stitches from the pressure your putting on your side. Simply switch exhaling when you step on your left side and your side stitch will be gone.


If you wanna stay under water longer hyper ventillate (breathe in and out real fast for a few moments) it increases oxygen levels in your blood stream and let's you hold your breath longer

>>7370805
i've been doing it for a week with good results. it's medically approved as a mouth rinse and whitening is an added benefit. somebody online did suggest making it into a paste with baking soda, but i'm too lazy for that.

Dont download porn. Just rape a chick

BAMp!haha

>>7370828
I'm slightly worried about the toxicity. Do you dilute it with water or just use it like that?

Don't try and peel a banana from the stem end, as you risk snapping the stem off and rendering the banana inaccessible.

Instead, go to the "nub" end (the non stem end) and squeeze the nub between two fingers. The nub will split between your fingers and the banana can be peeled easily, even if slightly green.

Note: Notice how in depictions of banana skins (that people slip on, for example, see pic) the stem is at the OPPOSITE end to the end that has been peeled. Also, it should be noted that monkeys peel bananas the way described above, rather than the way humans generally do it, as it is far more efficient.

OP, I just fucking took off my shirt three times thanks to that. Holy fuck, time to continue. Don't think I'll find anything as amazing.

>>7370911

Does snapping off the stem have some effect on the other side of the banana? I'm pretty sure if I screw up one end, the other side will work just fine. In the event that I render both ends unacceptable, I can simply rip the banana in two and then peel them from the center.

>>7370710
>Ate a banana
>Drank a 20oz sprite
>Jacked off
>posted on /r9k/
>All in under 3 minutes

>>7370902
Don't do it too much. It'll fuck up your tongue.
Furry tongues are not sexy.

>>7370966
I am curious about this, why would it have an orgasm-enhancing effect?

>>7370966
lol y so sirius?

>>7370911
That was the easiest banana peel ever. Thank you

Squeeze your left thumb gently in the palm of your left hand.

Your gag reflex is now being negated. Don't ask me what you can do with this, but whatever you do, don't use this power for evil.

put toothpaste on your dick

you can taste the mint

>>7370828
They have toothpaste that has baking soda and hydrogen peroxide in it already.
>>7370997
Well maybe you have to wait a while after eating the banana with sprite. Maybe the potassium in the banana enhances the reaction in your nervous system. Sending stronger signals throughout your body? I had a friend who would get cramps when she played basketball, but when she ate a banana she felt fine.
Maybe the cramps were caused by the nerves not firing their signals strong enough? Maybe more potassium and whatever sprite would give you increases how strong your nerves fire signals, increasing the intensity of an orgasm? Just a thought.

>>7370823
the second thing he said will kill you.

Wait. The Banana + Sprite masturbation is for real?

>>7371067
Oh holy fucking shit.

I didn't believe you, tried it over my toilet....NO GAG REFLEX. what kind of sorcerer are you?!?!

>>7370790
Mine gets stuck on my neck

>>7371109
No it won't. Breathe many small breaths instead of one larger breath before you go underwater.

>>7371157
likewise with myself. It's faster, but I kinda have to force it a bit. I feel like I'm stretching out my shirt collar though.

Put your alarm on the other side of your room so that you have to walk across your room in the morning to get to it. This prevents you from hitting snooze over and over.

Don't ever actually shave your pubes completely, it'll leave you extremely itchy for a week or two. Just go in with a hair buzzer or scissors.

When writing a paper for class, avoid using "i believe/i think", "this", and "you" (say "one" instead). Also, less is always more. Be clear and concise, and only use big words when appropriate.

If your car has a tape deck, use a cassette tape style plugin for your ipod/mp3 player/cd player. It's a lot cheaper and easier to use than an iTrip, and it frees up your cigarette lighter.

Keep a pair of gloves or a hat in your coat pockets.

Things to carry around:
-In pockets: pen/pencil, chapstick, and an extra set of keys in your wallet.
-In backpack: reusable water bottle, emergency money, book/newspaper/magazine to read

>>7371146
I'm a programmer/debugger for homo sapiens sapiens genome employed by Godtech Inc. It's a simple trigger for bug checks, no big deal.

wait I figured it out, you need to be looking at your left arm while you're doing it.

>>7371067
This has been around since january of 2008 and I still don't know the fucking explanation to it.

WHY DOES THIS SHIT HAPPEN.

>>7371067

I feel violated, is there a plausible explanation for this?

>>7371067

Gag reflex is psychological. This is just a placebo. That's why it works. >>7371204
>>7371146

>>7370911
>>7370911
>>7370911

Epic Win. Just did it. My bananas were a bit old, so the nib was a little mushy, but It was still a breeze to peel the banananana

>>7370638
yes works the same if you pour it from the bottle through like 30 or so coffee filters.

>>7371180
>cassette tape style plugin for your ipod/mp3 player

I used a panasonic. It works but it had bad line noise and died after a year. They are delicate because of the mechanism that contacts the reader head. I got an itrip clone and it works great, even in a city with lots of radio stations.

Life hack threads aren't as fun for me anymore.

I know if I tried only one of them I'd probably do one that's a trolling attempt.

>>7370823
That's a sure fire way to blackout, any knowledge of basic physiology would tell you that. Are you trying to kill someone?

>>7371180

>Be clear and concise, and only use big words when appropriate.

I used to do that, but I ended up with a bunch of extremely short papers. They answered/addressed the topic very well, but I guess since they were short it automatically made them bad.

So now I have to put a ton of filler into everything I write.

If you cut off circulation to your brain for 3 hours, all your pain goes away forever.

>>7371239
i tried to convince everyone at my old work to open bananas like that. it never caught on.

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/183139/how_to_tie_your_shoes/

>>7371296
Any FM transmitter for the iPod shouldn't suffer from interference from other cars, since it's broadcast range is only about 8 feet.

>>7370911
THIS


I love it

>>7371316
many tips are already on lifehacker.com

which makes these threads pretty useless, and ideal for trolling

>>7371239

Monkeys are geniuses, man. Mind blown.

>>7371232
I was wondering why it wasn't working for me. Hah.

>>7371343
except the website is a fucking clusterfuck, damn near impossible to try and find something specific.

>>7370574
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>>7371355
There was a study done where apes were tested in a number matching/memory exercise and they outperformed college students.

>>7371340
I was referring to cassette tape lines and broadcast radio stations. duhhhhh

I can't figure out this shirt thing. I assume top of sleeve means approximately at the shoulder, but step 2. just doesn't happen at all for me.

>>7370571
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>>7371394
>top of the shoulder.
Nope.

1. Save your money and invest in in compound interest. Don't do stupid risky shit like gamble on the market. Learn to pay yourself first, and then budget accordingly. Do take out loans or aquire debt. The only time you should ever consider this is when purchasing a house or funding your education.

2. Get an education. GET A FUCKING EDUCATION.

3. Don't buy ridiculous shit like cars and designer clothes. Buy a decent used car, never spend more than 5000K, never new. If you have to dress like a trendy faggot, then buy on sale, or from discount stores. If you're wearing a 80 dollar Affliction t shirt right now, just roll over dead, there's no hope for you. No one cares what the fuck you look like and what you drive.

4. Exercise and learn to eat right. Cooking real food is cheaper than buying processed shit. Learn how to can and preserve, grow your own herbs. Instead of watching shit like TV, read books and educate yourself. Going to the gym is cheap, and its got girls in it, that you can impress with your buff body, thats currently not rotting from chips and no exercise.

5. Drink lots of water.

Congrats, your life is "hacked." Now you can live a rich fulfilling life without working for the man, or living in your car stealing napkins from the mall.

Fuck yourself.

>>7371419


I've got glasses so it's always smashes my eyelids into the glass, smearing my lenses. What I do is pull from the back of my shirt, around the nape, tuck my chin in so it slips through the hole and then pull it off. One second. Very elegant.

FOR OP'S PICTURE, YOU HAVE TO TURN YOUR HEAD TOWARDS THE SLEEVE OR THE COLLAR GETS STUCK ON YOUR NECK OR NOSE. IT WORKS LIKE A CHARM FOR ME WHEN I TURN MY HEAD TO THE SIDE. BY THE WAY, YOU'RE STUPID FOR JERKING YOUR FABRIC REALLY QUICKLY BEFORE GETTING IT DOWN RIGHT. I WENT REALLY SLOWLY AND IT RAN INTO THE SAME PROBLEM, THEN I TURNED MY HEAD AND ALL IS GOOD.

FOR OP'S PICTURE, YOU HAVE TO TURN YOUR HEAD TOWARDS THE SLEEVE OR THE COLLAR GETS STUCK ON YOUR NECK OR NOSE. IT WORKS LIKE A CHARM FOR ME WHEN I TURN MY HEAD TO THE SIDE. BY THE WAY, YOU'RE STUPID FOR JERKING YOUR FABRIC REALLY QUICKLY BEFORE GETTING IT DOWN RIGHT. I WENT REALLY SLOWLY AND IT RAN INTO THE SAME PROBLEM, THEN I TURNED MY HEAD AND ALL IS GOOD.

FOR OP'S PICTURE, YOU HAVE TO TURN YOUR HEAD TOWARDS THE SLEEVE OR THE COLLAR GETS STUCK ON YOUR NECK OR NOSE. IT WORKS LIKE A CHARM FOR ME WHEN I TURN MY HEAD TO THE SIDE. BY THE WAY, YOU'RE STUPID FOR JERKING YOUR FABRIC REALLY QUICKLY BEFORE GETTING IT DOWN RIGHT. I WENT REALLY SLOWLY AND IT RAN INTO THE SAME PROBLEM, THEN I TURNED MY HEAD AND ALL IS GOOD.

>>7370911
Don't do this.

Grab a banana by each side and pull firmly straight apart. It will snap cleanly in half and then you can easily peel the peel off.

>>7371450
I started my own business before I left high school. the hell with working for the man, and the hell with education.

>>7371450

>Be a cheapass and have no fun.
>Lifehacks.

>>7371394
It really only works if you raise your left arm while you do it.

>>7371450
yeah, bro dats how we do it in jersey.

i live at my ma's house when i ain't sellin my t-shirts as an independent salesman. now i got my own man perfume.

Start eating fatty foods constantly. Before long you'll have your own pair of beautiful breasts to play with.

>>7370732
>>7370721

Heh. Reminds me of a manga that I was reading recently.

>>7371517
OP here
pull it toward the sleeve a bit

>>7371326
no dude it forces more air into your lungs, its kalled stacking by free divers. Also you take big breaths and hold them in and out for like 10 sec then lots of short ones. Fill your lungs and take some more breaths in after that to really pack in the air. First try you should be able to do at least a min 15

>>7370823

>Hyperventilate to hold breath longer

Moron doesn't understand that hyperventilation isn't necessarily breathing faster. It's when you breath fast or deep enough that it lower CO2 levels in your blood. This has an even worse effect everything else.

>>7370575
I've been doing this my whole life, I thought it was weird.

>>7371623
and it is you look like a goof

>>7371450

Ever since I learned about compound interest in middle school, I was like;

>makin money off money i made on makin money off money i made

Haters gon' hate.

>>7370575

Time it took me to remove my shirt the old way: 4 seconds.

Time it took me to remove my shirt using the method in OP's pic: >1 second.

>>7371572

shit nigger, i just did this and i had a braingasm

>>7371667
see life is changed forever... lol

Learn to play the most basic chords on the guitar or piano.

Get pussy.

>>7371684
yeah I used to do it in class when I was bored, if you sit real still while holding and relax you can really surprise yourself. I did like 2:30 once its crazy. Also so you don't want togasp when you go for air again and take a small breath and then exhale.

If you're somewhere and it's snowing or the air is frosty, breathe through your nose, it will warm up the air and you should be less likely to cough.

>>7371326

Are you trolling? Since I have swimmer friends, I've known about the "quick-breaths" thing for a long time. It's completely safe, and less you are misunderstanding him.

>>7371745
nah dude he's just stoopid

>>7371733

>breathe through your nose

People still breathe through their mouths?

>>7371769
in the south

Use uTorrent, not BitTorrent.

In my opinion.

>>7371450
>Buy a decent used car, never spend more than 5000K
Never spend more than FIVE-MILLION DOLLARS on a car. Good advice.

If you have tooth or ear ahce, squeeze down hard on the triangle bit of skin in between your index finger and your thumb.

After a few seconds, the ache should feel better.

If you're not very good at fighting, but happen to get in a fight; punch for the side of the bottom jaw.

This is the point furthest from the neck and should make the punchee's head wobble more, thus knocking them out.

Being knocked is quite often caused by the brain hitting the inside of the skull with force, the more wobble, the more likely you are to knock out your opponent.

>>7371852
or
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQbLwctcqUI&feature=related
shit works son

>>7371733

I live in Montreal, a really fucking cold city, this makes your boogers freeze up and it's uncomfortable.

On the subject of punching; when punching DO NOT tense the muscles in your arm. Though this will make the pucnh feel more powerful, you're actually tensing the muscles which make the arm contract. Making your punch slower and weaker

Only ever fight if you have to, if you can run; run.

Punching somebody in the temple with a normal fist is very unlikely to knock them out. Use the base of your thumb on your palm to strike the temple.

If somebody is talking and you feel they're about to attak you, hit upwards underneath their jaw. If you catch them while they're talking, they will cut off their own tongue. You will likely break some of their teeth. Only ever do this if you feel the situation is about to escalate and you won't be able to defend yourself fairly.

If you're in a fight, don't be scared to fight dirty. It is about survival, not pride.

use Nair on your balls it's quicker than shaving

>>7371921
For once, a robot with balls.

I approve of you, sir.

>>7371954
cool self bump bro..

If you are crying and would like to stop, look upwards without moving your head.

>>7371951
THIS. A QUINTILLION TIMES THIS.

>>7370805
Hydrogen peroxide is put in the water by government, helps with killing evil shit.
Teeth whitening is side effect. Different countries have varying degrees. Wiki-it.

>>7371919

i lol'd

lolbloxlololol

>>7371951
What kind of peach fuzz do you have where nair works?And why bother with nair when you cant do your asshole at the same time?

>>7371921

Anon means only avoid fights that you know you'll lose. Getting beat in a fight will SUCK because the enemy won't stop just because you can't fight anymore, like in sports fights. You both fight, and eventually somebody gets KO'd or can't fight anymore, then the person who can usually beats them to the ground/unconscious and maybe a bit further depending on what started the fight.

If you have a fucking terrible memory, link whatever it is you're trying to remember with an object you see every day.

When you see that object, it should trigger whatever it was you were trying to remember.

>>7372022

Fighting advice anon here, trudat.

Where I live, it's nearly always a group on one guy. And if you get on the ground they WILL stomp on your head and face, and probably stab you.

Only fight if you have no choice, anons.

>>7370823
shit man if this first thing works i love you, i get those all the time

>>7371921 Any specific technique mentioned here except running away

Lolno. Christ.

You uppercut the jaw to knock people out while they're talking. Expect to fight them again, because it's a cheap shot. You won't cut of their tongue, because nobody talks with their tongue hanging out of their mouth. Your fighting experience seems to come from fighting paraplegic retards.

You don't palm heel to the temple. I'm not even sure how this would be possible in a fight situation. Try to visualize it. Eagle-beak (closed fist with index and middle fingers extended slightly) to the temple or just plain punch.

>>7370575
this is how i take my shirt off right before i fuck a chick

>>7371921
If your opponent is fat (and especially taller than you, making his jaw not only very far away, but his arms also much longer than yours) aim for his ankles. Fat people have very weak ankles from supporting their excessive weight.

>>7372062

Troll.

Doing what you said is a good way to break your fingers.

>>7370575

Your method has a tendency to get stuck and stretch.

1. Pinch front collar with both hands, hook collar over thumbs on the outside
2. Pull directly up as far as possible, head is likely near exit now
3. Let go of one thumb and continue pulling with other
4. Remove shirt in one smooth motion without ruining shirt

>>7372062
Punch in a sideways motion. My brother is in the army and this is one of the techniques they use. You can use your shoulders more this way, making the punch more powerful. If you stick out your thumb you can jab their temple.

If your car has remote locks, and you can't find it.

Place your remote key under you chiin and open your mouth. This should amplify the signal and connect to the car further away.

>>7370676
trying this out now. no sprite, though, all i have is mountain dew.

>>7370575
I had to put my shirt back on to try this. And I was wearing glasses. And it works. Mind fucking blown.