Sophomore year history, we were going over ancient Greece.

The teacher is talking about Sparta, very briefly, just explaining their warrior culture, etc, about to movie on.

This kid raises his hand, and then says "I heard somewhere that all spartans were homosexuals. They also liked to sleep with little boys."

After the teacher says, yeah, some historians think this, but it's really irrelevant and we need to move on, the kid starts trying to argue with her about how true it may or may not be.

By the end of the year, the teacher wouldn't even call on this kid when he raised his hand.

There was a kid that had rage issues or something and would bang his head on his desk, or run outside and hit his head on the wall. It was hilarious.

Jackson this kid in my grade, shat himself in the local swimming pool when we were doing snorkelling practice [in a pool- wtf]. We were all listening to the teacher while treading water and my frind screams out "WHAT THE FUCK THERE'S SHIT IN THE POOL" and everyone climbs over eachother to get out and all the girls are screaming. It was pure chaos.

Anyway, Jackson would have gotten away with it if he wasn't crying hysterically after we got out of the pool and tried to run around the back of the grandstand. For the rest of the time we were at school, everyone used to call him Floater.

That name followed him into highschool and apparently someone called him it on facebook so now the name has followed him to college.

I had a kid who I considered my friend. Whenever someone talked about me in a bad way he jumped and beat.
I told him he didnt have to.
Now we are BFFL

>>7363900
that is a compelling tale

In about the third grade, I remember having social studies time or some shit and suddenly this kid stands on his chair and screams "MARIJUANA! MARIJUANA!!!"

The teacher freaked out and said something about not talking about illegal stuff. I had no idea until later about why she was so flustered.

I went to camp with a kid. He refused to take his medicine because he wanted to roll with the big kids. That night I was awoken by a light flashing through the entrance and muffled voices. It was the teacher speaking with the kid.

In the morning, the kids pyjamas were strung out over the fireplace to dry. He had wet himself. Nobody knew whose pyjamas they were, 'cept me. I stood on a tree stump and loudly informed all gathered the who and why of it.

I was friends with this girl in middle school who was really nice but very passive, shy, etc. We would hang out sometimes but mostly just at school. I didn't really have classes with her or lunch period with her for a year or two and my friends and I didn't talk to her anymore. Just...drifted apart.

Anyway, she lost a lot of friends trying to be cool and failing miserably and alienating people she was friends with after we lost touch. So one day at lunch (we had just switched lunch periods) she comes and sits with me and my friends (she used to be friends with me and 2 other people at the table). Not wanting to be mean, and feeling bad because she had no one else, we were fine and would try to include her.

She didn't talk to us though. So slowly, we would talk less and less to her since she never really answered. One day, I got up to go get a drink from the vending machines, and when I came back I saw her talking. I was really excited at first until I got closer and realized there was no real interaction...

She was basically talking to herself. And not really talking. Just mouthing words and hand gestures so it LOOKED like she was talking to anyone who briefly looked over at the table. We tried a few more times to include her and she refused, waiting until we looked away to mime talking to people. Weirdest thing ever.

We had a kid at school named "Bird man" (because he looked like a bird).

He would pick up quarters and coins off of the ground all of lunch and break.

People would stop him and rap battle with him. He totally got into it, and everyone once in a while he would seizure and everyone would laugh. It was the fucking saddest thing in the world.

one day they tazed him, no one got in trouble.

There was a odd boy named matthew and in 2nd grade he had a papercut. he completely freaked out and started running around the room screaming "I have a papercut!" for like ten minutes. The teacher couldn't catch him so some guy tackled him.

His name is M.

He NEVER showers and therefor smells like shit and is relatively ugly, he said in a discussion that he thinks that friends and social life in general are totally unnecessary for him. He's a virgin, of course, but he has way more self confident than the average robot here. He's quite intelligent and knows stuff that you can only find if you use the random article function @wikipedia. If he's in a bad mood, he absolutely won't respond to teachers if they try to communicate with him.

Funny guy.

in yr 8 camp, no one really knew eachother so there were 6 of us to a room..
three of the boys in my bunk knew eachother from primary school [ausfag here] and were making a big deal about one of them coming because he apparently never used to go on the primary school camps. anyway, we did our thing, stayed up late, ate chocolate, tried to tell believable stories about getting laid [with our 13yo fifteen inch dicks] in threesomes with 'girlfriends' at school we had never talked to in our lives and then finally went to sleep.

at around 5 in the morning we were all jolted awake by some kid in our cabin screaming OH NO OH NO OH NO until a teacher and in and dragged him out of the room. we didn't really think much of it and went back to sleep.

at breakfast we saw the teachers dragging a mattress out of our cabin that was drenched with piss. yup, it was the kid who never used to go on camp.
he left camp early and changed schools a week after

My school had this kid that we called Jesus.
He looked like Jesus.

Pic related, full grown beard and long hair at 9th grade.

>>7363945

Are you talking about a Michael B.?

We had a guy in highschool that use to pick up coins off the ground too. One time at lunch this kid I knew named sean threw a shit load of change on the ground and the kid picked them all up, felt bad. And also he use to haul ass to get to his next class, kid was so weird.

>>7364000
Was his name... Bill?

>>7364035
No it was Peter Chan

>>7364043
Yeah, it would just be a crazy coincidence if it was.

>>7363976
We had a Jesus at my school too! His name was Randy. He was friends with a kid who looked like a taller Kurt Cobain.

I knew a guy in highschool, his name was dwight I think....

Well anyways, I had english with him. It was a really fucking dull class. The teacher was some little sexy 26 year old fresh out of university and this Dwight kid would always hit on her. But he when he first showed up to the class he brought a large 2 liter bottle of pop. He downed the entire thing. Then start spitting his chew into the thing. He would keep the bottle in the class. And every now and then when he decided to show up for class he'd find his bottle hidden inside this little table thing and at the end of the year he filled the entire thing. Then he spilt it in the hallway. It smelt up the entire school

-There was this kid named Darren. He only had maybe..4 friends. And his girlfriend. He always hung out with his girlfriend, and only his girlfriend. One day he got pissed off at her during lunch and hit her visciously with a binder until she cried. The enxt day she tried to dump him but he got really crazy and kicked in a locker and slapped some jock, which later ended up in a fight after school, which he lost. He's a pretty chill guy nowadays. Although I think he still has some rage issues and a short temper.

-Knew this kid in elementrary school who wore the same clothes everyday for an entire year(Grade 6.) I told him about it ibn the last week and he told me had more thne one pair of the shirt/pants combo. I didn't believe him. Somehow he lost his virginity when he was 13.

we had a kid who always used to get his dick out and chase girls around the playground

he stopped after a girl smashed him in the cock with one of those huge metal rulers

Fuck you for reminding me of this OP, I haven't thought about it in years.

The day I got headlocked by a retard... *shudders* I'll never forget this horrible story thanks to you, fucking douche.

>>7364223
so are you the weird kid of the story?

>>7364135
this is perhaps the funniest thing i have read. ever.

>another kid used to draw wwe wrestlers and pokemon raping girls in our class and bit a chunk out of a black kids arm when he said pokemon sucked

I had a kid in class like this too. His clothes were always stained by toothpaste.

>>7364135
lolwat

originalcomentblox

>>7364258
yes...toothpaste....

His name was 'Penny Picker'.
He was tall, he was thin, and he gangled. Always slightly hunched, he'd wander the school grounds staring at the floor, looking for coinage. People, me included, would throw pennies at him just to see him dive for them. He was not ashamed.
One day I was informed that he claimed to make hundreds of pounds each year doing it. And I thought, wow. Hundreds of pounds?
When I really should have thought, 'Wow, that's how much dignity costs?'

>>7364267
Hundreds of pounds, obviously.

Doh.

>>7364135
Are you swedish? D;

There was a kid in my school (he was mostly in 'special' classes, but he was in the normal P.E. class, which I was in.) named Danny. Danny was short, thin as a twig, and white like Robert Pattenson. Nobody called him Danny, however, because he was collectively known to the entire school as 'running kid'.

This was because he would run. Everywhere. Perhaps he thought he was a superhero, or maybe he saw Forrest Gump and wanted to emulate him - whatever the reason, if he was going somewhere, he was running. At lunch time it was not uncommon to see running kid sprinting across the court for no apparent reason.

Now, Running Kid would get himself into all sorts of awkward situations. He talked with a retard stutter and was absolutely oblivious to other kids making fun of him. Despite this, he thought he was the absolute shit and could run at the speed of light, and therefore everyone should like him. On Valentines Day he handed out roses to every girl in my P.E. class, except for the fat chicks. The teachers knew he was a tard so they didn't really know how to reprimand him.

continued..

>>7364279
Running kid's day of achievement was when it came time for 'the mile' in P.E. The teachers split us up into two groups; those who could run a 7+ minute mile, and those who could run a mile under 7 minutes. I was in the former group with an average of 7:30. Based on his small stature, the teachers insisted that Running Kid should go into the 7+ minute group, but after much protest they relented and allowed him to go with the other group. After running our mile, my friends and the rest of the slow kids sat up in the bleachers to watch all the fast kids. Running Kid was closest to the stands, trying to inch in front of everyone else. As soon as the P.E. teacher was about to end the countdown, Running Kid immediately ripped off his shirt and started sprinting. Being the closest to the seat, we got a good look at his topless form.

He was fucking RIPPED. Ripped like Jesus. Skinny with a 6 pack of fucking steel. Before the teachers could say anything, he sprinted from the starting line and did an entire lap before he was stopped and told to put his shirt back on. Despite being scolded, he kept running. To this day I think of him whenever I'm running, or even around socially awkward people. I'm not quite sure what lesson he taught me, but I know I wouldn't be the same without it.

Godspeed, Running Kid.

>>7364246
No. I was the new kid on my first day getting joint headlocked with another kid by a gigantic autistic retard called Russel.

>>7364283
aha I have to hear this, do go on.

I used to be one of those kids. Until 9th grade I never showered, and until 10th I only brushed my teeth a few times per week. Once, when I was in fourth grade, this new kid threw a piece a of paper he scribbling on into the garbage bin. I glared at him like I was suspecting him of something, then grabbed the paper from the bin and began inspecting it closely. After class that day I asked him if he wanted the paper back. He said no.

I learned the basics of social interaction in High School, and while I was still the target of much teasing and ridicule, found that there were people with infinitely worse grasps of proper social conduct; namely, the severely autistic kids. In my Geometry class there was a kid named Graham that would make these high-pitched squealing noises ever so often. I think it may have been a tick, but it was fucking creepy as shit.

Now, in college, most people I see have an adequate understanding of how one should carry himself in public. However, there was this one guy, today, in my Comparative Government class
that was rocking back and forth and making the same squeals as the kid I mentioned above. From now on, I'm sitting as far away from him as possible lest he pull a Cho.

I was and kind of still am that kid (blah blah blah underage b&, I know). I've taken meds for ADD since third grade, was known as the 'smart kid' (though I stopped really being in front of the pack around fifth grade, but I still have that reputation), in eighth grade I ran onto the football field during a game on School Spirit Day in plain view of a few hundred people. Freestyle rap all the time. I'm known as the 'guitar kid' cause I bring my guitar to school, every day. I used to get in trouble all the time, I got 30 office referrals in my ninth grade year alone, though in tenth I got one (same for the current year). I've cleaned up my act and I'm not as weird, but my reputation still precedes me. I'm the kind of guy who has a lot of people who like/respect me, but don't really have any close friends to go to when shit gets tough. I love life though.

>>7364278

swedish like a rock

>>7364310
Was there anything interesting on that paper?

>>7364333

Yes. As it turns out, he was a communist sleeper cell planning on infiltrating the school and assassinating the principal.

In all honesty, I completely forget. I just was a giant weirdo back then. I would sing opera on the playground, tell kids I'd pay them millions of dollars if they'd undertake missions for my spy organization, and get really into the American Revolution simulators we did in my 5th Grade Civics class, to the point where my friends and I would chant random slogans against King George during recess.

There was a teaching assistant one year who was asking kids how they do things as part of her training: "so, what do you do if you get stuck with your work/finish the chapter/etc". When she asked one kid "what do you do if you don't know how to spell a word", expecting him to tell her about the dictionary, he instead replied "I go and ask Anon, he knows every word there is".
I don't, by the way.

A friend of mine had/has some rage issues. One day in high school he got so pissed-off at our science teacher that he punched a wall with full force. Broke a couple of fingers that way.

had a friend in early grade school who seemed cool enough. he liked to draw and so did i so we became friends. the first time i went over to his house we went and hung out in this sweet ass little fort his dad had made him. we walk inside and i notice there are tons of bottles all around the fort - on every surface. and they are all filled to various levels with some kinda liquid - cant really tell what color, they were brown bottles. so we're hanging out in the fort lighting matches and looking at comic books and then he says he has to take a piss. "do you have to pee too?" he asks and then motions for me to come back behind the structure with him. i get back there and he is pissing into a fucking wagon FULL OF PISS and is like "come on dude, its fun!" im ashamed of it, but i whipped it out and pissed right there with him, crossing the streams. after that he told me how he was saving all his piss in the bottles in the shed. years later for some reason i had to piss into a sobe bottle and remembered the whole thing. i remember thinking back then that what he was doing was perfectly normal, but how fucked up it was that it was perfectly normal.

also i saw his mom naked at a sleepover once. she was pretty gross.

my neighbor would always shit amongst this little grove of cedar trees in his backyard. he wouldn't use toilette paper and was more or less able to shit like a dog - without getting any on him. he would always ask me to check and make sure there wasnt any shit left on his asshole and i remember that he had a brown colored asshole and i wasn't sure if it was shit or not because i had never seen a brown colored asshole. i guess we were like 6 or so during all this. anyways today the guy is not gay, and neither am i, but we both have absolutely NO luck with the ladies and a basically pathetic losers.

Ollie had a cleft palate, and probably slight learning difficulties (nothing too bad though). He was also a DICK. Used to get bullied some but also tried to beat people up himself.
He's now seemingly a jobless alcoholic. His facebook page lists him as OLIVER BATTERY ACID [SURNAME]. Picture related.

>>7364413
Martin in primary school did the same thing. His shit was kinda hard like a rabbit's so it never really smeared on anything. He used to shake it down his trouser legs at break time, into the bushes. He got caught eventually.

>>7364413
You guys should hook up.

gaaaycoxxxx

retarded kid in highschool would never print out homework our math teacher asked to have typed up. he would always just write it up by hand. the teacher would be like "patrick, this assignment was meant to be typed up on the computer. why isn't yours?" and patrick would say his printer ran out of ink. or it was broken, or was out of paper. then one day the teacher is like "patrick do you really expect me to believe your printer is still out of ink and/or out of paper and/or broken?" patrick, in his retarded, hearing impaired voice was like "CH00 G07 M3333333Z" and went about his business.

I had a political science course with this one kid. He never seemed to do anything. He just came into class and stared down at his notebook. He wore the same gray pants and hoodie all semester. Really creeped me out.

This kid Ethan was a few years younger than me, his teacher was a moron and didn't give a fuck.
He had some rage issues and would often hit teachers and other students.
Played 40K with some other less awkward kids outside all lunch and build paper and sticky tape models outside instead of being in class, his biggest piece was the bismarck, complete with swastikas and he got to show it off at some school art exhibition thing, sans the swastikas.

I was somewhat this kid as well, because when I was 10 my best friend died in a car crash and some guy made fun of her at school the week after, something about necrophilia so I aced him in the neck with a pencil and got expelled.

>>7364421
he would shit himself in class and then funnel it down his trousers later on?

WTF man? lol. I have never ever heard of anything like that. How the fuck could he not smear any of that shit on his leg or whatever. No matter how hard it was, it would have at least had to leave some streaks of shit or whatever at one point or another. Not to mention the smell

Vinesh ate paper and cut the hair off a doll that belonged 'to the class'.
He's trying to make it as a singer now, Vinny V-Soul Ladwa

Haha, jooly good thread. Let me tell you of some people I've encountered throughout my education...

I had an Iranian kid called Ari in my primary school (we were ~8 years). He said that he'll be a man when he turns 15 and idolized gangsters. He transfered somewhere when we were about 10 years. I seldomly saw or heard of him, we weren't friends but we had a mutual friend named Joey.

So this very autumn a young 20-year old mother gets stabbed to death in a road tunnel, guess who did it? I shit you not.

While we're at it, this Joey kid was a funny guy. He once allegedly said "My dad's off selling noodles in China" when asked about his father. I don't remember hearing him say that but several friends told me. Joey is kinda a name fit for white thrash and his family had problems. He was the first kid to start smoking afaik and he wasn't afraid of fights. Cool kid nevertheless, disappeared to somewhere at the age of 12.

The next character of significance is a guy named Joakim, he had mental problems. Intellectually he was unbalanced and excelled in math but sucked in humanities like language. He was an irritating element and he often bullied or just messed with the rest of class. So we bullied him back, good. Somedays I felt "I must go to school, fighting with Torsten will be so cash today".

To sum it up, some 3 years of regular fighting. Good times.

I probably will start to remember more stuff, maybe I'll post more.

>>7364431
I dunno if he shit himself in class or at breaktime and immediately sent it down the legs. I imagine the shitstains on his underwear were seen by his mum who mentioned it to the school who said "he's never mentioned it..." and that's probably how he got caught.

>>7364440
how the fuck do you shit your pants while wearing underwear? No underwear I can imagine. But with underwear which is tight around the ass, the shit would compress and go everywhere

One day we played "the gay" at school. We would chase each other around the school and then tackle and "be totally gay". Little did my friends know, that I was grinning the whole time thinking "just as planned".

My friends were hot.

>>7364445
Look, I don't know the details. All I know is he used to shake his shit out into the bushes and he showed me once and it was little hard lumps.
It was definitely his by the way because he shook it out in front of me.

This kid Nick used to invite me over for sleepovers, then we would sneak and watch his parents fucking and masturbate.

His dad was old as shit and his mom was an obvious young trophy wife, miss those days.

There was this kid who always sat in the back of the class. He never said anything to anybody. We all picked on him constantly. One day one of the basketball players pushed him down in the hallway. He got like really pissed and grabbed the guys balls so hard that they carried him away on a stretcher. He was expelled for that a week later. The jock lost both his testicles and he got some seriously feminine boobs afterwords. He still speaks with a really high pitched voice.

>>7364465

That Jock deserved it.

In grade 7, the teacher held up a a picture of a pig
I pointed at the picture and yelled
"Dat's [Insert fat persons name here]!"

>>7364479

Dude, you deserve to be castrated for pushing somebody over.

Once Chris came over to watch TV - we were about 5. I sniffed his butt through his clothes (for no apparent reason) and it smelled bad so I went to tell my mum that she should show him where the toilet was in case he needed to poo.

This kid phillip would always ask me and my friends if we could spare a dollar for him. And one of us would always just fucking give it to him to get him to go away. Anyways one day im all alone and he asks me for a dollar and i tell him i only have one dollar on me and i want to buy a coke with it or something. he tells me he swears he'll pay me back the next day. so i give it to him and he says thanks and pulls out his wallet, FULL OF HUNDREDS OF BILLS, and tries to stuff my dollar into the thing. fucking bastard. come to think of it there was also a black kid at school that would do the exact same thing. and he would always rap about it and say he's a hustla n shit. lol those fags. anyways i never EVER give money to bumbs now adays.

I had a friend that booted the local fat kid up the back off his fat arse and into his balls. The fat kid turned around to rage and screamed his battlecry, but then the ball shaking stomach churning pain hit him and he collapsed dead in a classroom, crying. Several teachers passed by, looked in, and kept walking. One, my favorite, grinned.

>>7364488

First of all, it doesn't sound like that was the only thing the Jock had done to him.

Secondly, as someone who was bullied throughout my entire childhood and never did anything about it, I can't help but feel warm and fuzzy inside when people like that kid stop being victims and fuck their tormentors up. Frankly, if you hurt another person, you should not be indignant if the hurt you worse.

>>7364507

make that "they"

>>7364507
I agree. However, I went straight to the balls at the first instance of bullying so I was never bullied for years.

Me and my buddies used to walk in a set, circular path around the school every lunchtime while we chatted. We never deviated from it. We used to chat about video games and they were training me to be a 'game-urai'. Unfortunately this sounds very similar to 'gay-murai'.
Sometimes they'd go inside for school dinners while I sat outside and ate my sandwiches, then I'd follow that same path on my own. Lunch was like 90 minutes too so I could make a lot of circuits.
One time they were talking about films, gangster films in particular, and asked what I thought of Goodfellas. I said in all seriousness that I didn't really like pizza.

>>7364449
You magnificent bastard.

>Blocxs

>>7364511
Thats mah purse!
I don't know you

What a great episode

>>7364526
Hey, being the psycho kid got me out of being bullied for also being the gay kid

>>7364540

>gay kid
>went straight for the balls

I can't even begin to fathom...

>>7364550
I'm not sure what you are implying there...

>>7364540

Me being the psycho dude kept my brother from getting the shit kicked out of him by a bunch of people for being such a dick. Seriously.

>>7364429
Was this in southern california?

>>7364540
I wasn't making fun of you brobot. I am from the school of thought that you gotta do what you have to in order to survive against bullies.

I'm a skinnyfag with low muscle mass. I have always told my friends that if any of us ever get into a fight do not rely on me to do much. I have said however, that I would fight dirty as fuck. This goes even more so if the guys are bigger than me (most likely) and if they looked like they knew how to fight.

I don't want to fucking get caned and shit. So I said I would do whatever to avoid getting beaten the shit out of. This would include going for the balls, eye gauging, etc. I would even bite their cocks if I had the chance. I don;t care if people say that's fucking dirty play and shit. When cunts try to beat you up for no reason you need to fight back the way you can.

My quote on the "that's not mah purse...." is from a king of the hill episode where bobby kicks people in the balls after attending a female self defense class. One of my favourite KOTH eps.

I thought you would get the reference. /b/ would have anyway

I was kid

>>7364576
That...

That is my exact philosophy on fighting! Excellent. I also run away, double back, and hit them in the back of the head with branches

There was this kid with a really rediculously dopey face. he was a total fag and seemed to be the dumbest person in the school, but acted like he was the shit and even got a few people to be his bro-cronnies. i think his name was johnny. even though he was totally fucking rediculous he somehow got this amazingly hot girlfriend (who he would always get in trouble with him). one day he was acting like a fucking idiot and trying to be cool and mouthing off to some old, almost retired, math teacher (saying something about his dead wife i think) and the teacher just grabbed him by the ear and slammed his head down on his desk a few times and gave him a bloody nose. it was fucking awesome.

>>7364600
did anything happen to the teacher?

>>7364614
no. nothing. he retired at the end of that year. total badass. i think the whole administration knew the kid was a total douche.

>>7364614
I would imagine that he would light a marlboro, take a drag, slip some sunglasses on and then ride away on a hog into the sunset

>>7364621
yeah but if a formal complaint was lodged, they would have to look into it. A room full of witnesses as well. The kid probably didn't do anything afterwards so no one cared.

The teacher probably knew he was retiring so he didn;t give a fuck either. But if that shit is jail time or massive fine then would be shitty for him

>>7364465
Your voice will not increase in pitch just because you lost your balls. I don't know if his voice hadn't completed its puberty change before he lost his nuts, or whether you are confused and imagined something, or whether you just made this story up. I'm thinking you just made the story up.

This kid with really light blond hair would always get really fucking angry at people and scream at them and shit. He would get to a point where he would just sit there glaring at people literally until his face turned purple - which was pretty striking with his light colored hair. one day in gym he freaked out on this new kid and the new kid just said "what is your problem man?!" and told him to get away from him. When the purple boy wouldnt leave him alone the new guy just decked him. He laid him out. It was pretty amazing. Everyone had been to intimidated to ever do anything before that. It didn't really change anything though, the kid still freaked out all the time and people were afraid of him.

I was the weird kid. Not gross weird, just weird.

In primary school, I remember one time I crawled around on the floor in class and dug twisted-up staples out of the carpet with a pen, and collected them in the inside pocket of my coat.

I also would get fabric-bound binders, and carefully un-stitch redundant threads, and pull them out and wrap them around a pen, and keep it. I also used it to make little bows with the big paperclips. I would use the ink tube part of shitty pens for arrows, and shoot them across the room during class.

In high school, I still had the stigma of being one of 'the weird kids' - hung out with all the goth/D&D/M:TG kids at lunch and before school, but the stigma lessened as everyone in school oldered and matured. People found out that I was amazingly intelligent and would befriend me to get my help with math, english, science, and history.

I'd still all but fail all my classes because I never did my homework, or, with math, my teachers got pissed that I'd be doing complex algebra in my head, and didn't show much, if any, work.

That part was cool, though. Was on good terms with a bunch of hot girls and football dudes, and they'd sit next to me in class, because I could help them with their work when they got stuck (They didn't actually want to copy me on tests that often, just wanted actual help with the concepts).

I found out a bunch of people, including a very cute girl I had a crush on, were actually afraid of me, scared I'd lash out at them (most), or come to school with a shotgun one day(One or two), because of my interest in firearms and the military, and my almost religious following of the progress of the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq - First thing I'd do when I got to my first period class my freshman year was jump on a computer, and check the headlines for the Iraq invasion, and try to get other people interested in it.

>>7364652

Before the hot chicks befriended me, and even still quite often afterwards, due to my awkwardness and obliviousness, I'd rush through finishing my classwork, and go hang out in the library for the rest of the period, to read a paperback I'd brought from home, in peace.

>>7364652
Did you just say oldered?

Son, that is not a word. Not by a long shot.

>>7364664

lol'd at 'oldered'.

>>7364576

Armyfag here.

We were having a battalion-wide combatives class (Army-taught hand-to-hand combat, mostly centered around grappling and submission/choke holds), and the instructor had invited one of the guys from the base's Special Forces group to come be a guest instructor.

SF guy was this crusty-looking black dude, instructor said, "Ok, let's fight."

SF guy: Woah, do you want to fight, or do you want to do combatives?
Instructor: Let's fight, show these guys how all this stuff looks in practice.
SF guy: Ok, so we're fighting, right?
Instructor: Yeah, let's go.

They get their distance, and then start to advance towards eachother, SF guy jabs the instructor in the throat, knees him in the balls, and knocks him on the ground, and tells the class, as the instructor is sitting with his head between his knees getting his bearings "That's how you FIGHT. Combatives is one thing. If you're fighting, you're fighting to stay alive. Do whatever you need to do. Bite, claw, gouge, go for the balls and the throat, whatever. Show no mercy, because you will be shown none if you lose."

Just some cool food for thought.

>>7364664

seriousbloxx

...

notsureifserious.jpg

Not really a weird kid story, but something awesome I just remembered. In grade school my friends and I would always hang out in the bathroom during lunch before they let us go outside for recess. all the coolest chillest kids in my class would kick it in there seeing who could piss the furthest, blowing soap bubbles, showing off porno, etc.

One day I asked to go to the bathroom during class. And, feeling really shitty about being in school, I stayed in the bathroom until my teacher forgot about me and let another of my classmates go. When he found me in there he was like "oh my god, this is awesome. she forgot you're in here. Let's just stay in here until school gets out." So we did, and just sat in seperate stall talking about shit. At one point he was telling me how he had had sex with one of the girls in our class and this fat asshole from the grade above us came in. He had heard and was standing there shocked that some third graders were talking about stuff like that and skipping class. My friend tried to convince him "not to tell". I remember sitting in the bathroom with my friend thinking about how much trouble we were about to be in. We decided we should just go back to class and see how things played out. There in the hall we saw the fat kid standing there talking to a teacher. My friend took one look at that and just booked it. I asked to go to the office and told them I felt sick and wanted my mom to pick me up. I was out of school for a month after that and then transferred. But my parents never found out and had been planning for me to switch school anyways. I totally fuckin won.

To this day I dont know what my friend did or where he went when he ran off that day. I pretty much never talked to him again, even though he was my best friend. Saw him again in highschool where he was cool. smoked pot, had a band, didnt really give a fuck. but we were no longer friends and he considred me suare.

>>7364690

Yeah, that army instructor wasn't paying very good attention.

Though ya'll learned more in the 5 seconds it took that special forces guy to destroy your instructor than you probably did in the rest of the combative training combined.

Dirty fighting doesn't exist.

>>7364712
I don't get it. What would you be in trouble about? Skipping class in 3rd grade?

ITT: People talking about themselves.

Thanks. I figured it out.

>>7364716

It was really the same kind of thing the instructor should have been trying to teach us - the grappling/wrestling shit that Level 1 Combatives class teaches you is alright, but it's just a base. Don't rely on it, just go with it if you happen to be on the ground, and your opponent's arm comes up just the right way to flip him around and put him in an arm bar, etc.

Trouble is, so many unit instructors present it as the end-all, be-all of hand-to-hand combat, and you don't even do it with gear and a weapon on you.

Luckily, if a recent Army Times is to be believed, they're re-structuring the combatives curriculum to include gear and rifle.

oh man, this is an awesome thread. Just a bit of required info, im six and a half feet tall and was pretty much born this tall.

I was friends with a guy named Cliff who was a short fat kid who always smelled like "the old spaghetti factory." Anyways it was 4th grade and we were walking around during recess and all of a sudden he grabbed my arm and tried to throw me down. I caught myself and was like "lol wat u doin?" and then be started biting my arm. It wast too hard so I was like "hey, cut it out." One of the teachers saw and took me to the office where they called my mom and told her I intimidated a kid and forced him to fight me. I was like "wtf" and my mom was PISSED at the school. Never really talked to him afterwards, he switched schools later.

>>7364721
yeah. and i was afraid my parents not let me hang out with my friend if they heard he was having sex.

actually, i think this was all part of this deep rooted general sex paranoia i've felt all my life. im 23 now and a virgin.

>>7364736
You little tykes needed to chill the fuck out. Who'd believe grade 3s were having sex? Sheesh. Shoulda just beat that fat kid up and smoked some dope

ITT like four people just keep writing stories they are remembering.

>>7364690
thanks for replying to my post man. That makes me feel a lot better for having the mentality where I would go all out dirty if anyone was to try and fight me.

I would avoid fighting in most situations cos I know that I can't fight for shit and am weak. But if it did get to that for whatever reason (I snap or rage the fuck out) I know I would try to ruin that other guy as best I could.

Sometimes I think "fighting with honor" is just shit the strong guys make up to ensure weaker dudes don't have an advantage. The strong guys know they could easily lay away a guy who is much weaker than them if it was just above the belt shit. But throw in unpredicatable shit which can take a guy down in one blow (eyes, throat, balls) and that would make the fight a bit less in their favour. So they just say it's dirty so they can still have the upper hand

>>7364729

Yeah. I'm given to understand by one of my best friends who just got out that MCMAP is useless as fuck. He found it to be basically women's self defense "Kick for the balls then blow your whistle and wait for a man to come"

There's nothing wrong with learning proper martial art technique (I'm partial to SAMBO, Muay Thai...actually I'm very eclectic and have learned bits and pieces from A LOT of stuff) but at some point someone should remind you to practice the hallowed art of the dickpunch.

Speaking of which, /r9k/ should listen to this, and so should you if you're into this kinda shit.
http://music.metafilter.com/2380/Punch-Em-In-The-Dick-NSFW-lyrics

>>7364744
lol, yes. u rite. i see this now, with 20/20 hindsight. i wish i had had my head on straight as a kid. would have saved me sooo much trouble. but i just didn't get the world or how it worked.

>>7364748

The dirtiest fighting of all happens in the mind.

>>7364755
Aite, now you know. Imma hit this shit up now, lates

oh this takes me back.
i brought in my new puppy for show and tell, this fucking spastic autistic kid in my class fell in love with her.
(she was a 5 month old border collie)
anyway as my mum was taking my dog out of the classroom, the kid jumped out of his seat and kicked my puppy in the head.
i started crying and went home with mum, we took her to the vet and she died.

now as for this fighting dirty stuff that you've been talking about.
i took an aluminium (aussie here) softball bat, to the back of this retard's head, hit him once, dropped it, punched his nose till it was pretty much 2d on his face, snapped both index fingers, so he couldn't do shit anymore, and rolled him onto a road.
i never got caught.
the retard lost function of the right side of his body and had to use a wheelchair.

however i got a new puppy that lived fourteen years and ended up being the best friend i ever had.

dirty fighting at its greatest.
(btw im a diagnosed sociopath)

>>7364794
(i was 14 at the time, i forgot to add)

>>7364763
what is this supposed to mean man?blox

>>7363834
This guy in my year at school was so insecure about everything. I would go up to him and grab his hand and then try and put it on some other guys crotch and shout "Niall, stop molesting everyone!". He would be like "it's not me, it's not me, seriously". Another time i got a pillowcase from the common room, put it over Nialls head and got a few other guys to help me carry him outside and shouted "kidnap Niall, everyone". We got a fair distance before the janitor intervened.

>>7364712

Did something similar myself. I was the butt of all jokes for honest-to-god no fucking reason at all. The second I switched school I was living happily.

Anyway, one day I have a hefty fucking breakdown in primary school. I head off to the toilets and just sit there, staring into space for what must have been an hour. Then, another kid I knew came looking for me. I was informed that the sub for the day still hadn't realised I was missing and the kid had come down to see if I was here. I told him what I was doing and invited him to join me. He was always the bad boy figure, so we just chill there and have a talk straight out of some foreign coming of age film.

ANOTHER long while goes by and a third kid comes looking for us. My best friend. He joins us too. So we all spend the rest of the day in the cramped fucking stall in a twister pose connecting like we'd been bros since birth. When we figure the day was nearly over and the end-of-day roll was about to be called, we all snuck back to the room. We're nearly home free when this fat, ugly, Vietnamese fucking moron does as was expected from him. "OOOOH, I'M TELLING!" so we all bail and hide behind a door at the end of the hallway. He ended up only just managing to see us and pointed us out to the sub. The sub just gave us a frown and "Why are you three hiding behind a door? It's still classtime for 10 minutes!"

We got away scot free. I'd always hated the fucking mongloid Vietnamese kid and still do. I could sware he was retarded in a handful of ways. By HS he'd legally changed his name from Vy to Johnny and his inability to be human had really shown itself. He was pretty much a full flung retard, but nobody did anything about it. He was basically Cain if Cain had downs-syndrome.

>>7364794
damn, great story. i love it when fucking dangerous retards just get their shit detroyed. good on ya, mate!

>>7364801

Psyching out your opponent/pissing him off/tricking him is an extremely effective way of ruining someone in a nontraditional (dirty) way. Like suddenly yelling "STOP!" in the middle of a fight. You'd be surprised how well conditioned most people are to obey a sudden strident yell to stop. And when they do you shiv them in the bollocks.

If you know stuf about your opponent, taunt him, he'll make mistakes. "Wow, your mom fights better than this, and she's DEAD" Seems immature and stupid, but, boy does it work.

Flick your hand out to the side and snap your fingers, I GUARUNTEE their head will turn without them even thinking about it. Proceed with the bollock shivivng.

"Hope I'm done kicking your ass by the time my friends get here" agian, cheesy, but, it causes nervousness. ANY edge you can get just by speaking should be gotten. Just don't get distracted.

>>7364794

Holy fuck. You are my hero. I would dream of doing that shit every day when I was younger. How on Earth did you manage to not get caught?

>>7364817
YES! BATHROOM STORIES! those fucking taddle tales really need to get the shit beat out of them. i wish i had had the balls to teach those dickheads a lesson. if i ever had kids, im going to teach them to FUCK UP taddlers.

>>7364837
i wasn't at school when i did it, i was walking home from softball practice and i saw him out the front of his house, i guess because i came at him from behind with a HUGE hit on the back of his head, he never saw me, or remembered it.
this is the only time i've ever told anyone. thats why i didn't get caught

>>7364836
wouldn't saying shit to them piss them off even more and make them want to fuck you up harder?

Like if you don't say shit to them they knock you out and leave you alone. But if you say shit that is highly offenseive, wouldn't they want to kick you while you're unconscious because they are raging so hard?

>>7364836
in a fight if i were to say anything about my friends getting here, they would leave me alone.
i'm tall and skinny, but i know advanced jujitsu and am the ultimate dirty fighter.
i'm also friends with about 14 MASSIVE lebanese and afghani guys in my year, and about 10 more out of school.

>>7364855
thats why you focus on fucking turning them into a disabled person. if you dont, yah, you fucked.

Cain, he smelt awful and was the most obnoxious douche in my school ever

>>7364873
lol, whatever you say kiddo.

>>7364751

That's really what the bulk of combatives instruction is intended to do...You're on the ground grappling with someone who wants to kill you? Keep him busy and away from your throat until one of your buddies shows up with a gun.

>>7363976
That was me in year 11 and 12.

>>7364945

Why would he lie about this "Yo, I got some big ass homies"

Seriously.

And yes, the downside to psychological dirty fighting is that you reallllly don't want to lose. But it increases your chance of winning.

>>7364794

Armyfag again, with my personal dirty fighting story.

In that same combatives class, before the SF guy came, we'd rotate through every other member of the class, and wrestle with them...Every time I was paired with a dude who'd get a dominant position over me, I'd grab his balls and squeeze, he'd loosen his grip, and I'd assume a dominant position.

Did this like three or four times to about six different guys in my company.

Wasn't even really squeezing hard enough to hurt reall bad, just on par with a light nut-tap.

Really makes you feel a little more confident - if such a small pain can distract someone so much, imagine an adrenaline-fueled, full-combat-speed knee, kick, or punch to the dick, or a genuine grab, twist, and pull.

I love nut grabs and biting. It's really the only way to open up a fight with your typical schoolyard bully when he tries to get inches away from your face.

>>7364994

I'm the martial art guy from above and let me tell you: Hope to hell you're not fighting someone with a little brother. If you don't know what I mean, then you're an only child. Because little brothers are nut-shot machines. They are fucking testicular terminators. Any older brother worth his salt has a fucking lightning fast testicle defense reflex. It's not bulletproof, but, it's there.

I once watched my little brother destroy one of my friends with the most ludicrous bag-grab I've ever seen.

>>7365046

ZOMG THIS. The reason I always go for the balls is because my brother is 7 years older than me. The reflex never left me.

I'm proud to say I was a tattler and the teachers LOVED me.

Suck on it, you should've gone back to class, dicks. :)

>>7364279
>he handed out roses to every girl in my P.E. class, except for the fat chicks.
ahahahahahahaha, brilliant

>>7365046
As an oldest brother, I just want to comment that I relate 100% with this statement.

I made a thread about this guy before, but I'll post again. Weirdest kid I know.
Back in 6th form, there was this kid called Hanzlah. He had a skin condition that meant he was constantly scaley and he'd always have apply some kind of lotion from a HUGE tub throughout the day.
So he was either greasy or scaley.
He also has a buzzy, insect-like voice. Like that guy from South Park who has no voice box but a little bit softer.
Anyway, once we were in the cafeteria, when he sat at our table. Me and my friends exchanged knowing "what the fuck" glances, but Hanzlah was silent.
He got an apple out his bag, and started eating it. Soon a drop of blood came out of his mouth and dripped down his chin. I hadn't noticed this until my friend tapped me on the shoulder and pointed.
Eventually the blood flow picked up and it was starting to drip on the desk, when Hanzlah noticed. He just went "Oh deaaaar" and walked off, leaving his apple behind. He didn't come back.
I still don't know what the fuck happened there.

>>7365372

Aw.. you witnessed his first menstruation :3

>>7365372
And another thing, he was constantly rocking back and forth whenever he sat down. I've read somewhere that's a result of abuse from childhood or something so fuck knows what's up with him.
His nose is a slightly different colour to the rest of his face, and it doesn't look "right" on his face if you know what I mean. Like it didn't fit the rest of his features.

there was this disgusting runty kid that would eat anything off the ground or rotten for money... like seriously, if you gave him 20 cents he'd cream his pants

we gave him fifty cents and he ate a tablespoon full of dirt
you know the peel-off tops of those yogurt containers? there were about a million of those things stuck to the side of a locker for god knows how long... at ten cents a pop he'd peel those off the side and lick them.

it always used to be rainy so most of the bins outside were full of disgusting bin water... one of my friend threw an apple core in one that was full of browny gray water and gave the kid a dollar to fish it out and eat the whole thing... that was when i discovered i had a gag reflex.

he also used to pick up all the change he could find so we had many laughs rolling our change down the hill and watching him chase it

>it a chunk out of a black kids arm when he said pokemon sucked.

FUCKING AWESOME

>>7365490
Dude he probably had to feed his family.

This fat fuck americunt in high school bet me that if he gave me five dollars I wouldn't be able to run away with it...

>>7364931
Cain sounded like a cool dude. how can i be more like him?

I never understood the "nice guy/friendzone" thing until I went to uni. There is this fat guy I know. He is like 6ft7in tall but amazingly fat. This guy has two chins. There is this hot blonde how always walk around with him. They hug often and are always talking to each other. At first I thought that they were BF and GF, but after going to 4chan I understood what were their thing. She has a asshole boyfriend and always dump her emotional bullshit on the nice guy, which keeps her in a good mood for when the asshole wants her. The girl is an amazingly nice person also. I didn't knew something and asked her for help and we spent like all afternoon studying. The guy was pissed because I was there.

Also there is this two guys. One is fat and very short (5ft4in maybe) and the other is a skinny and tall guy (6ft9in. He is nearly 7ft). They always walk around together playing DS. They talk about games and internet all the time. Even in class the fat was playing Mu Online on his notebook (was the time were that shit was the thing of the moment). I went to their house once (lived together) and we were playing Need for Speed Underground. We played for 5 hours and I never won once. They told me that they play it much, so they are good. "Like, playing this all days for the last month"? "Well, yeah". I don't have to tell that they don't had a social life.

We had this kid with some kind of weird bone disorder. He was pretty much a hunchback with a speech impediment and coordination issues. I think his name was Kyle. He was late for class and he'd run through hallways and basically knock people over because he couldn't really physically look up and see where he was going, he also had pretty bad hygiene issues. Kids made fun of him, teachers hated him (mostly because he was gross, constantly wiped his nose on things and he'd knock everything over in the classrooms.)

I felt pretty bad for him because it really all wasn't his fault. I mean, you get handed a shit hand in life full of medical disorders, you don't really have much of a chance like that. I tried to be nice to him several times, not because I pitied him, but because I was picked on too and I knew how much it made life suck. So you know what happened? He joined in with the kids that made fun of both of us. He made me feel like a tool, and he looked like an idiot when he tried to be friends with a bunch of popular kids who just used him and teased him seven out of eight hours of class.

I raged so hard.

There was a girl at my school called Sally McSweeneygold. Which is a pretty lol name to begin with, but she was also mental. She used to pretend to have seizures, but really badly, like she would lie on the ground and roll around making gibberish noises. After a while, everyone ignored her, including her carers who sat in lessons with her.

She also once told everyone that a bin was her father, and she would sit next to it during break times and talk to it by herself. She would hug the bin too sometimes.

Fucking weird girl.

>>7364794
if you were a legit sociopath wouldnt you not care at all about the puppy

>>7365746

some sociopaths usually have empathy for animals, or children.

>>7365804
I have a PhD in neuroscience and a PhD in psychology, and also a PhD in sociopathy and I can tell you that that is not true, there is not a single sociopath that has empathy for anything, and sociopaths also definitely never browse 4chan and make posts

>>7364931
FUCK YEAH CAIN!


cainbloxfuckyeah

>>7365856
liarblox
u mad?

>>7365888
Trolling is hard these days :(

>>7365856
>a PhD in sociopathy

ORLY

incredulitybloxxx

>>7365892
Yes, it's from University of Phoenix. I had to sit through fucking six hours of online classes to earn that sucker, so you know it's legit.

So there was this weird foreign kid in 4th grade named Shariar or something who would always wear the same ugly sweatshirt every day and smelled fiercely of cat piss. He ws about as awkward as awkward gets, and there were even rumors he jerked off in gym class.

One day against my better judgement I decided to go see what he was up to during recess. I was met with him launching a fucking TORRENT OF SPIT at me, directly in the face. That's was the last time I gave weird kids the benefit of the doubt. I wonder what he's up to today though?

HE was ME

I went to primary school with this girl Elyssa who had a horrible speech impediment (she claimed it was a French accent, but we all knew she was a bit retarded). She sounded like she had a horrible underbite, but despite talking like an idiot, she was enrolled in the enrichment program. Anyway, 6th grade seemed to be the year for her. One day, in our special thuper-smart social studies class, she gets her first period. Low and behold, its a heavy flow day and there's blood all over the chair. And my friend just kind of leans over (being a guy) says, "I think you cut your butt." Anyway, our whole corner of like 6 desks is cracking up, she runs out of the class room and the teacher is like "Elyssa, where are you going, you can't leave the class without permission," etc. The rest of the day she wore this massive winter coat around her waist to cover the stain.

Her mom was also kind of an idiot, too. She did a talk about diabetes in 6th grade and sat with our class at lunch. For whatever reason, a girl (who was also kind of queen retard) wanted to have her blood sugar levels tested and Elyssa's mom used an old test strip and the lunch monitors flipped out.

Last I heard of her was senior year in high school and she still had that ridiculous speech thing.

>>7365955
Also there was this Polish kid Mark who I'm pretty sure was sexually abused and autistic. He appeared one day in 2nd grade and was kind of a boat load of fail. In 4th grade he would masturbate in class and draw Mack trucks all over everything. He smelt like pee and his mother lived on the preconception that her son was a girl, and made him wear bell bottoms and fuzzy pink socks. It was pretty much proper etiquette to make fun of Mark, so one day my friend Chris (another child who was abused, but eventually adopted by a rich ass family) tripped Mark in the hallway, knocking out his two front teeth. Being his family was on welfare and a bunch of other state aid, he couldn't get his teeth fixed. I went to summer camp with him in 5th grade, and he swimming level was about on par with a Pre-K camper. He had to wear floaties and stuff when we went out to the dock. He was in our school till about 6th grade, and then just disappeared. I feel really bad for him and would try to be nice to him once every blue moon, because nothing ever seemed to go right for him.

I'm seriously waiting for the day when my name pops up in one of these threads. I don't think it was cause I live in NZ and everybody is internet retarded. But I was basically hated by everybody and treated like a retard.

bump....needs archiving too.

>>7365905
So you know that psychopathy functions on a continuum, and therefore its possible for someone to express sentiment for a possession (such as a dog) and still be a sociopath?

Also, in all fairness, sociopathy is hard to diagnose accurately (thanks to the interference from Antisocial PD). Whoever diagnosed him may have screwed up.

>>7365589

Speak loudly. Stand out of the crowd and give away food.

IF he's real. He sounds like a cool dude. But would probably have somekind addiction to attention. Ive experienced someone like that. when they fail to get the attention they crave, theyll do more extreme stuff. violence, suicide attempts etc.

Grade 1-4 I went with this kid named Lukas.

A bit weird, but not over the top.
His house smelled of cucumbers, his family were never home and he ate frozen peas all the time.

One time on a trip I sat next to him on the bus. He takes off his shoes, notices a stain on his sock and realises that it's chocolate milk.
He then continues SUCKING it out of his sock for the whole trip.


Also, my grandfather lived on a small island. One time when me and my younger brother were there we met this kid around our age. Somehow we ended up at his place where we were sitting in a sofa in the kitchen (thefuck?). Anyway, he starts singing some song and randomly pulls down his pants and grabs his dick. He then giggles, continues singing and pulls down his foreskin.
All I can say is that it got pretty awkward and we left almost instantly.

The last wasn't someone I went to class with but still, weird.

>>7366301
Wow, cool strong, brawh.

...alsomootbloxz

There was a kid in my school named Miles. Miles was 6-foot 3, 250 bands of excitable blubber, with an IQ to match. I think he had severe autism. Miles would wander the halls at lunch, requesting the pocket change of perfect strangers. My group of friends made his friendly acquaintance in eleventh grade, in order to find out on what he spent the large amounts of coin he collected daily. Turns out he collects transformers. Turns out he covered a 9x5 wall of shelves with them. He also LOVED doing impressions, and the thing was, he was actually quite good at them. He could quote, verbatim, entire 22-minute family guy episodes, doing all the different characters' voices exactly. I actually kinda liked Miles.

cont'd

There was this kid in my school who had adhd and I think he also had assburgers or something.
When I made a joke he would repeat it. When I would approve of something he would too, and when I disapproved of something he would too. When he thought I'd approve of something he approved of it, but when I disagreed he would backtrack by saying he didn't actually approve of it. He was really ugly and quite annoying, but would be as picky as fuck when it came to girls. He was skinny as hell and was a real crybaby, and one time when he fell down during gym he was depressed all day, and eventually went home. Also when I was talking to someone about something, and he didn't know what it was about, he would try to join the conversation but because he didn't know what the conversation was about it was really, really annoying.

>>7366381
cont'd

There was this other autistic kid named Steven. By the time I came to high school, Steven had already been in the joint for what looked like about 8 years. He looked like a grown-ass man, by my reckoning. He was balding, had a square jaw, and a very deep voice. He was always inordinately cheery, and sang on the choir. Every single concert, his octave-higher falsetto would cut through the entire remainder of the choir, but that's a story for another time. I never really got to know him until grade eleven, when I had gym, math and media studies, three out of my seven classes, with him in what would turn out to be one of the lulziest years of my life on record. What I remember about Steven, I remember mainly in outrageous or hilarious episodes, rather than chronologically; to me, he seemed like one of the eternal figures of that school, like one of its grim gargoyles along the eaves.

cont'd

>>7366499
cont'd

A particularly rich vein to mine in this regard is high school health class. In the TDSB, they started sex education in grade four, and we had to endure one month a year year of it all the way through high school phys ed. I'm a pretty athletic guy, and gym is an easy credit, so I took it all the way through high school, and tended to skip when health class rolled around. I wish I had skipped less, but one of the few times I didn't skip (mighta been a test) was the time Steven held up his hands, and cooed to Mr Lombardi, our PE teacher, in a sing-song voice: "Mr Lombardiiiii," you have to imagine a slide whistle when you read this, like his voice is coming to a low diminuendo near the end of "diiiii"; "If a man ejaculates in a woman's mouth what does it taste like?". Poor Mr Lombardi nearly had a heart attack, as the jocks in the class intimated to Steven that he should ask the three or four girls in the room, so of course, insatiable in the noble quest for knowledge, Steven obliges them. Steven would have crushes that bordered on obsession, and lasted about a month when they happened. The thing was, it was always on really good-looking girls, and he had absolutely not confidence issues in approaching them masterfully and offering massages. From what I've heard, he gave excellent massages, but was not clearly an option for ANY girl at school because despite his disability, he was also clearly dressed by his mother in almost laughably stereotypical tard clothing. I'm talking tight-fitting, drooled-upon cotton- knit sweater with a Disney character splayed across it, coupled with sweat pants from roots (if he was lucky) or Old Navy (not so lucky), faded beyond usefulness and three to four inches too short, revealing his VELCRO-LACED WHITE RUNNING SHOES FROM LIKE 1997!

cont'd

>>7366505
cont'd
Dear Robot,
this is OC
I ain't copypastaed this shit from nowhere but the 4chan of my imagination.
So leave my shit alone! Jesus


This is aside the point. Steven's current crush was Larisa, a cute, very athletic (girl was strong, she could do like 50 push-ups in a minute, stronger than me at least!) rugby player, who was very shy and VERY freaked out by Steven's clumsy, if ballsy, advances. So right in the middle of health class, Steven raises the stakes. He turns to Larisa and BELTS OUT "LARISA WILL YOU SUCK ON MY DICK AND TASTE THE SEMEN?" It almost seemed like he had meant to say this all along, because as soon as he was finished declaring his intentions toward the young lady, he sat back down (he was standing up, fists clenched behind his back, proud lion-chest out during this, I forgot to mention) with this TOTAL troll-face.

dagnabbedrobuttblox

>>7366527
cont'd

I mean, I know he's autistic, but I couldn't miss a troll face like that when I saw him. The teacher immediately flipped out at Steven, he was like, furious. I had known Mr Lombardi for all three years of high school so far, and had never known him to lose his cool with a student, despite dealing with some of the toughest, least respectful kids in Toronto, in some cases.

Now that I think about it, the whole affair is kind of sad. Simply evidence of a broken system that doesn't allow kids with disabilities the opportunity not to be ridiculed at every step of the way.

>>7363884

I was that child.

>>7366527
BWAHAHAHAHAHA

laughedoutloudblox

Love this thread!
Anyway, there was this kid called Jake who had some sort of disability where every 15 seconds or so, his head would spas out and he pulled this face like he was eating a lemon. Anyway, I have always loved this guy since I used to sit next to the absolute HOTTEST girl in our school and I would sit there desperately thinking of things to say. One day, when he was mid spasm, I noticed he had a fucking huge boner through his trousers and laughed and told this girl, who looked and laughed so hard at him he fell off her chair and banged her head. I then spent the rest of the day chatting with her in the nurses office and lost my virginity to her a few weeks later.

God speed Jake, your boner got me laid ^^

>>7366588
I used to get boners in class all the time, but then I got in a class where there weren't any hot chicks. Yeah, that totally killed the boner. I never got caught, though. I'm a master at conceiling my boners.

>>7366631

it's all about the 12 o'clock tuck, man.

>>7366634
I'm a femanon and I lulled because my boyfriend thinks he invented this, but he calls it something different.

I know this is supposed to be about other people, but I was honestly the weirdest person I knew in middle school.
My favourite things to do were meow and wear blue lipgloss. I was one of those DURR RANDUM kids with a passion for Invader Zim. Sometimes I would twitch on purpose just to freak people out. Luckily, I changed schools for eighth grade and became less awful. I think.

>>7364652
lol at thinking you actually befriended the people who just needed answers for classwork. you really think they liked you? it's called acting

i grew up in a small new england town. there was one nigger who went to my high school and he stuttered really badly. sometimes people on the bus would randomly shout NIGGER and he's turn around w-w-w-w-wh-h-h-h-o-o-o-o-o-o s-s-s-s-s-a-a-a--a-a-i-i-i-i-d-d-d-d-dd th-thth-th-th-th-at? and he'd try to pick a fight with everyone. his name was troy and people would taunt him with this chant: troy troy the nigger boy turned into an almond joy

There was this kid who I went to both elementary and high school with (no middle school here). He was always a really weird kid and people have made fun of him for as long as I can remember.

When we were in grade 4 or whatever, I always used to go over to his house after school. Not because I liked him, but because he had so much Lego. I would just play with it alone in his room while he did other stuff. He was really socially retarded and stuttered a lot and didn't really know how to talk or interact with people at all. He was fucking obsessed with Lego and he always smelled like cheese.

In grade 6, our school went on a 6-day field trip to "outdoor school" (some random place in the wilderness with cabins, activities, animals, etc, basically a camp during school). He tried to commit suicide by jumping into a lake, and he did jump, but the lake was only 2 feet deep so he just stood there and cried while everyone laughed at him.

In grade 7 for the school dance, he made a little fan out of Lego and wore a hat, then hung it from the hat so it was fanning himself. He said that it was so that during the dance when he was touching girls it would cool him off as he was sweating. It was the weirdest thing to see.

>>7366747
purfjhjdsafncblox
(cont'd)

In grade 8 me and him got in a fight (he got into a lot with the older kids who picked on him, threw him into bushes, took his bags/umbrella/whatever). We were about the same size so it was pretty equal, but I ended up somehow flinging him onto the gutter on the road while everyone was waiting for the public bus home.

Our 'sciences humaines' teacher is from Quebec and always used to call him bad names in french and generally pick on him and call him an idiot. He failed the kid twice in 3 years.

In grade 11 his mom came to school and went around the hallways just yelling at the top of her lungs not to pick on her kid. Honestly he had a hard life, his 3 younger siblings always saw him getting beaten in life, and two of them had cancer.

After that, I never saw much of him. He spent all his time either at home playing Oblivion or at the gym getting ripped so he could defend himself. Now he's a ripped nerd. Honestly I'm surprised he didn't Columbine us all. He's having a LAN party sometime soon, and I plan to go. He's not that bad, it was our fault he had a hard life really.

But he's still a fucking weirdo.

>>7366634
Anon: flippin' his dick up since 1875

>>7364279
>>7364282
I had a friend like that in elementary school, sort of...gym class had just ended and everybody's leaving the room, when all of a sudden somebody noticed my friend making a mad dash up the climbing rope. I don't know why he did it, but he set the class record for height, still, it was pretty fuckin stupid.

>>7363920
>Nobody knew whose pyjamas they were, 'cept me. I stood on a tree stump and loudly informed all gathered the who and why of it.

and so the biggest douche in the story is the storyteller! what a twist

at my old highschool, there was this autistic kid, but he wasnt the usual autistic whose quiet and shy, no, he was violent and obnoxious and just plain creepy. He beat the shit outta more than one faculty member, and eventually, he got caught fapping in the girls bathroom, never heard from him again. I think they expelled him or something

>>7364429
that was me, I was sleeping

elementary school, there was this kid named chris
he was pretty smart, but he was always purposefully trying to start trouble in class
one time he was arguing with the black kids, and he handed them a textbook and told them to hit him in the head, shit like that, always trying to act tough
brought a knife to school once, a girl saw it so he dropped it down a drain
later afterschool he went back with a stick, duct tape, and a magnet to try to get it back
after 6th grade i never really hung out with him, heard he got caught shoplifting at walmart, then he signed up with the marines, then finally on facebook i saw that he died from heart complications

>>7364431
I knew a kid that did this EXACT thing on a school trip, he shit in the elevator of the hotel and then shook it out onto the lobby of our floor. I happened to be heading downstairs and when i went into the hallway, both our coaches, a hotel manager, and a maid were just staring at, meanwhile the hired security were at the end of the hall laughing their asses off. the kid tried punking me a couple months later, and I threw the whole shit story right back in his face.

Weird stories in school? Most consist of my own life.

Primary school:
I was on the wrong ADHD medication (Ritalin), so I used to get on top of my desk and dance around when the teacher went out.

I wanted to buy my whole class silver dollars but the teacher wouldn't let me.

I used to bring in the stuff I built using K'nex (my mother helped me). My favorites were the solar powered windmill and a giant (literally as tall as me at the time) Ferris wheel.

Tried kissing (I succeeded in one one of them) all the girls in my grade.

Thought kids that couldn't do math were mentally retarded (apparently I had a gift for math).

Made my teacher retire for all the shit I pull. I'll never live this one down. Felt horrible around my middle school years where I was finally on the right medication.

Mind you, this was all in second grade.


Maybe I'll post the rest for middle and high school.

I was a little overweight when I was in elementary school. My best friend was an other guy who was also a little overweight.

I was the smart/strong guy, he was the simple/strong guy.

We were pretty much the kings of elementary, with all the chicks (the hottest ones, I shit you not).

The simple fact that we were a team and we were fucking bears compared to the other guys made us instant alphas.

>>7367058

Forgot some stuff in primary school.

School had a horrible dress code, so in the later grades I always wore the exact same clothes. Always.

Got caught picking my nose by the class douchebag and caught a nickname that lasted until middle school. I saw that douchebag many times throughout middle and high school. I got my revenge at least.

In fourth grade, during one of our projects, I sat in the corner of the room for a looooooong time while working on it.

Again in fourth grade, my mother came to pick me up with a Mr. Grinch mask on. I hated her at the time, but I now appreciate her for giving me many ideas for my own children.

There was this one kid in highschool that always brought a fucking broom to school with him. He didn't even do anything with it, only carried it around.

No 404 on the best thread.

>>7363945
Seems like me.
Good riddance to all the faggots of my last highschool.
Worst fucking years of my life.

I was clawed by this retard with a fetish for cartoons, we were 16, and he was watching pokemon.

with my scar, i look like some sort of character from metal gear solid... awesome.

In elementary school, 1st grade, our entire class had to sit at these looooong tables with the rest of our class. It was some time in October, and I hadn't gotten any sleep in two days but wasn't tired the least bit. It's strange, because it's one of 4 or 5 times in my life that I've had random bouts of insomnia.

Anyway, I usually sat next to my best friend, but for some reason someone else was sitting there, so I had to sit farther down the table. I don't know what thought process led me to this decision, but I got the bright idea to show off my dick to everyone. I didn't just pull down my pants though, I just positioned my dick out enough and told everyone to look under the table for a surprise. Most of them weren't offended and even got some laughs out of it, but the two kids sitting in front of me ratted me out to the teacher later, and when she asked if I did anything wrong I confessed like the little chicken shit I was.

My dad would make fun of me for years over this story.

Man, arcanine has been a gold mine these last few days, both tard threads were fantastic and Ill give this one a read today.

Archive is needed.

A mention of Ghiaz would be applicable.
The tard, although this isnt a tard thread its still related, he was the weird kid, was a 10 watt bulb. Seriously, he was slower than shit.
Anyways, heres a story about a magic trick that baffled him so much he nearly cried due to how awesome it seemed to him.

It was recess and i was hanging around the group I usually hung around, too bad Ghiaz was paired as a buddy with one of the guys and so we had him trailing us everywhere.
I was bored and decided to show Ghiaz the dumbest magic trick in the fooking world.
I took an eraser from a friend and said "look Ghiaz, I can teleport this eraser from one hand to another!"
I made a motion in which i moved my hand containign the eraser in a clenched fist towards my otehr hand and made as if somethign appeared in it. Then I did the same thing but backwards and slowly opened my hand, with the eraser being in the same hand it started, obviously.
Well this trick was all shits and giggles for Ghiaz and so he asked me to repeat it multiple times and, to his amazement, it always worked.
I dont know how he could have been so fucktarded but he was, he would believe the "gullible on the ceiling" crap and hed look every time.
Archive this mother fucking thread, only 7 more requests or something like that.

I was homeschooled, and this thread scares the shit out of me. I was so fucking awkward enough, that having a school for of assholes making fun of me would have fucked me up even more than I am now.

>>7364595
>>7364576
sorry, i know im late into this thread and these anons are prolly gone by now, but as a warning for everyone else, as an alpha male, if any one im figvhting plays dirty then they will get their shit rocked. you're better off fair fighting.
one asshole tried to punch me in the 'nads in a fight, i got seeverly pissed the fuck off and begans to punch the face of him. true story.
also, to contribute to this thread.
there was a guy i knew in like fifth grade or some shit, he smelled like shit really bad one day. he wouldnt admit to shitting his pants, and he sat next to me in class, so i followed him through the halls and whatnot.
then, when i confronted him, he totally started to bawl his eyes out and made me promise not to tell anyone.
of course, i told everyone.
funny thing is that he was (at the time of the shitting) a pale gangly kid with arms the size of twigs.
in highschool, he was a jock, and got his dick wet in ninth grade, football team, etc.
pantsshittingmootblocks

Anyone in this thread talking about dirty fighting except the military people are retarded. No one is trying to kill you, no one is going to try to kill you, you're life isn't that interesting you basement dwelling neckbeards. High school fights are not serious business.

Also if you turn a harmless bout of fisticuffs into some serious shit because you're some retard with delusions of grandeur, instead of just getting a black eye you're probably going to end up disabled. You don't go for the balls, throat, eyes, etc unless it's essential to your survival.

If someone is bigger than you and they know how to fight then chances are you're crotch shot isn't going to be successful, so just take your black eye like a man instead of getting yourself beat into a coma.

few twitchers, pedo kid, kid who ran everywhere, kid who read all the time, spastic girl, loads of fucking stories, though really cba.

>>7368002

>pedo kid

how does that work exactly

Oh man, from first grade to seventh grade there was this one guy Zamin in almost all of my classes. Really weird kid. His bottom lip was giant and almost curled out, so that you could always see all of his lower teeth and his fucked up gums. He was deaf in one ear and always had a hearing aid, and even had a caretaker to help him take it off and on.

He was always wearing sweatervests and pants that were really baggy, to hide the fact that he wore a diaper for most of elementary school. His parents payed my school to put him in the normal class instead of the special one. In the seventh grade, he decided he wanted to be a rapper, so one day he came to school with his hat sideways and a gold chain around his neck that weighed more than him. He also stopped chanting in some Indian language and started rapping to himself in the middle of class.

One time I was going to the bathroom and I saw him in the hallway. He was singing quietly, but then he launched into a ridiculously loud " SCRUBBITY DOO BOP BOP! BOP BOP!" Only one other kid, James, was in the hallway when he did that. James was kind of an ass but also a bro. We never really talked and if anything, it was trading insults, but whenever they played showtunes for spirit days or anything at my school, we'd always crack up at the "doo bop bop" parts.

Man, junior high fucking ruled. But yeah, Zamin was the weird guy.

Thread's been requested thrice.

Come on, robots. You know what you must do. Archive it now.

fucktherobotthisneedstobearchivedblox

>>7368151

Four times now. God damn all of these robot story threads need to be archived.

>>7363834
really fucked up kid, smelly kid, he was always telling lies, also dirty.

One day he just vanished.

>>7368134
Also from my school was Stacy. Stacy Paulsingh. She was in my class in the fifth grade. Her dad had died when she was three or four, but she never got over it. She carried this picture of him in all his curly-mulleted 80's glory everywhere with her, and showed it to everyone. Stacy was grossly overweight, frequently wore fleece sweatsuits, and never washed her hair. She wore bright blue sparkly eyeshadow and hot pink lipstick, despite being ten years old and having a very dark complexion.

Now that I'm thinking of this, I remember that once I told her that her face looked like laser tag, because everything is dark and suddenly BAM, NEON FUCKING EVERYWHERE.

But anyways. She would spontaneously burst out in tears in the middle of class, and would either slam her head against her desk until someone payed attention to her, or she would crawl under her desk. She was too big to fit under it, though, so it always lifted up three or four inches when she rolled under it. Once I had to clean up desks after school, right after she'd had a bawwwfit. There was this giant puddle of snot and tears and blood, right in the middle of the desk, and all I had to clean it up was a sheet of Kleenex. Bad times.

We took swimming lessons in summer, and our school's classes were right after a group of preschoolers. She crapped in the pool and picked it up to show the teacher that "a preschooler was drowning," before crying again because HER FATHER IS DEAAAAD. Also, she got her period when she was eight, and stuck her pads to the door of each stall in the girl's bathroom. When a teacher yelled at her she freaked out and said that it was part of her religion, and that Christ was telling her to smear her pads all over everything.

So that was Stacy and Zamin.

They should have gone out or something.

>>7363861

That kid was rad as shit and you should have made friends

There's this weird-ass kid in my Sixth Form year called Robert, and another one called James.

Let me tell you bout Robert.
Robert is the sort of person who wanders about all day with at least one hand occupied by some kind of electronic device. Lately it has been a camera, but i'll get to that in a minute.

Robert is an averagely smart guy, nothing to set the world on fire but not stupid. he's about 5 and a half feet tall and about 3 feet wide, but his stature isn't important here. He is known universally as 'cheeks' because he has fuck-off great cheeks like a hamster. his hair is... the best way to describe it is thatched. huge, fluffy, and matted. but this is just background info.

What is important are Robert's social skills: he has none. he always used to be the odd one out and he spent a really long time off of school because of depression or some shit, but he's been back for a few years and he's steadily getting worse. He is your stereotypical /b/ or /gif/tard and it has to be said that he carries this over to real life a little too well.

>>7368328 continuedblox

He has no friends to speak of but nobody really treats him badly, everyone just about acknowledges him, etc. He mainly wanders around the common room clutching his camera/ipod/laptop, trying to butt into people's social activities, conversations and the like.

Especially the girls.

He'll sidle up behind a girl who is talking about girl things with her girl friends and (usually) do one of 4 things:

1) pinch her bum and grin.
2) take a photo of her bum.
3) crotch-bump her.
4) any combination of the above.

the girls, who are well informed of the dangers (both socially and practically of engaging in conversation with him) usually try to shoo him away.

Cue toothy, cheesy grin from Rob.

I''m getting bored of typing so i'll cut this short.

He's never had any sex.

or a GF.

His criteria for finding the ideal fuckable girl is that she squirts. and he WILL ask a prospective (read: any) girl about this.

He needs to keep his hands to himself: he will attempt to grab any exposed female skin, and if there is none exposed, he will expose it.

He needs to STOP showing porn to people on his laptop. especially the fucked up stuff.

and finally:

Cheeks, if you're a rowboat. Please. leave your fucking camera at home and stop taking photographs of everyone at every opportunity.

PS: if you play that stupid high pitched noise that the teachers can't hear again at 150Db, i will personally rip out your laptop's speakers and shove them so far up your ass you taste copper wire for the rest of your life.

PPS: i REALLY don't want to see photos of your asshole. really.

/rant

ragebloxmuntcookie

>>7366505
very annoying to read btw.

I LOVE THESE THREADS.

bump for awesome.

so I had math class with this girl, she was asian. vietnamese i think. and she would always sit right in the chair in front of me, with her pants slid down her tight slim body just below her asscrack with her panties exposed
actually it was me, i was the weird kid because i used to stare at that shit. i had been working a night shift at the same time so id come directly to this class at 7am first thing after work. i was tired as hell and probably looked like shit. and i also brutalized that class. i think the asian girl failed out or something. maybe because she didnt understand english well because she was asian, or maybe because she was a girl i dont know

>>7368367
what was annoying?

wutblox

In college there was this one obese girl who would spend all of her classes flirting with all of the guys, one in a row. She would sit in all of their laps and stroke their bodies and compliment them. She also used to flash anyone who would ask. Her titties were really sloppy and covered in stretch marks.

Towards the end of her first year she started dating a karate instructor who was 10 years her senior but cheated on him all the time, then she left him, but she thought that he abandoned her somehow. Then she started going to therapy and ended up on a lot of drugs, so she calmed down a little. She became really open about her mental illness in class and routinely talked about her progress.

Then in senior year she stopped taking her meds and beat up this girl in the hallway for dating someone she liked and was expelled.

There was this guy in my ninth grade math class. Thien, I think.

He had a voice like a nasally robot and he ran like the fucking wind from class to class. Our math class was out in a portable so he'd have to double down and really quicken his pace. He'd bolt out of the classroom every period and bend down really far as he ran, with his entire torso tilted forward so his chest and his backpack were parallel with the ground.

Aside from that, he wasn't all that weird, I suppose. He wore heavy winter boots year round and would walk through the school commons, his feet just clomping around. You'd be sitting on the steps somewhere and hear clomp-clomp-clomp and know it was Thien. He'd whip his wrist out very dramatically and shove his sleeve back to look at his watch, then nod and make a stroking motion under his chin, as if he was scratching a beard that was not yet there. Then he'd stop, and you'd hear the clomp-clomp-clomp again, and he'd be gone.

So scratch that, he was a fucking creeper.

I used to grin. I have the most horrific smile, and whenever I saw someone looking at me, I gave them 'the grin', and they turned away as soon as they knew I saw them. It all stemmed from my savage attack on a guy who had mercilessly taken the piss out of me all the way through primary. I leapt on him, pinned him down and bit him so hard that he had to get stitches in his cheek. No-one else was there, so I said he had struck first, and was let off easy. Anyway, I have crooked teeth. Very crooked, but not in the stereotypical British way, no. Half of them are very pointy, so I imagine that getting a big, shiteating grin from me is unnerving. I also took a big interest in serial killers that nobody shared, so when I rattled on about Albert Fish, they would just laugh about his surname.

bumpage of epic weirdo thread

politeconversationalblox

I go to liberal arts school ('nuff said, over 30% of the schools population identifies as gay, not including queer, which would make it around probably 40 or 50%) but we have enough asspies to give the Rain Man a good run for his money.

Anyway, in my freshmen year, there was this Taiwanese kid on scholarship for our studio comp. program. Apparently, he was like the next Mozart. He was in my freshmen orientation group. While we were doing the college thing (sitting outside in a large circle pretending to be cool) this kid starts grabbing my fingers, and I pulled my hand away. I stayed away from creepy Taiwanese kid for the rest of the orientation (although you could hear him across campus because he would do this absurd imitation of a huqin.) Although the orientation was for 2 days, his parents though it was for 2 weeks, so he kind of got stranded in the US.

A few months into the semester, he is known for harassing girls (in this naive autistic sort of way) and for being a music prodigy. Now, everyone knows that Azn love video games, and the guys in his suite happened to play Halo. One day, they are all playing Halo and Taiwanese kid loses. Well, he flips a shit and pulls a boxcutter on his suitemates. The cops are called and Taiwanese kid ends up expelled and is committed to a psych ward. Good times at liberal arts school.

>>7368591
Now, in my college writing class there was this mess of a retard called "Angry Hat Kid" (because no one know his name). He was chubby, had a crazy frizzy mane of reddish hair, used to wear a safari hat and walked around campus with a walking stick. He was a grammar nazi and his MO was mainly to complain loudly about how he didn't need this course to graduate (though it was a required gen ed). He also used to throw random theatrical emphasis on pointless words mid-sentence. He left our junior year. Later I found out he lied to people about having Assburger's (he actually did have macrocephely) and would loudly masturbate in the hall's communal shower. And this guy also has a girlfriend.

we had a kid at my highscool named jacob manji, kid had epilepsy but he fucking loved sports...

one day at lunch we were all eating and somebody says,
"what the fuck is jacob playing football for, watch he has a seizure''

immediately after he did.

also we had a kid that wore all denim and hung out with the anime girls, we called him Boston George

>>7368667
>And this guy also has a girlfriend

The time to kill myself.

Has come.

>>7363945


holy shit sounds like a guy a know.

>>7368667
Lastly we had a legit Assburger who was intersexed. He would masturbate to (and occasionally over) his roommates while they sleeping, wear women's clothes and tried to rape a guy for a cigarette. He went through half a dozen roommates in a semester and was kicked out of the campus gay organization for being forcely sexual (as well as offensive). He transfered after a year.

>>7368715
Is his name Marco?

>>7368752


no, its holden, but close enough

>>7368722

sounds like you go to fun school.

Aside from the fact that I've used to be that weird kid all the time, there was a guy, let's call him T. who whenever we were about to go out somewhere took his Didgeridoo (pipe alike instrument) and attempted to play out in public, despite the fact that he failed miserably, and all weird stares he got he played anyway, saying that he's just a newbie (even after a couple of months). Also, accoring to the rumors his instrument was made of a PVC pipe he found in some garbage, the one on the photo looks almost like his one (well the original has alot of scratches all over).

This kid named Henri was absolutely fucking insane. Like, legit insane. In the middle of class he would go "WOAH. OH GOD....wait nevermind." and he would ask/say craziest random shit ever. He tried to convince us that bunnies don't exist and that non-living things could scream. Apparently ran some egyptian religion stuff, I dunno what that was. The random outbursts creeped me the fuck out, though. Wore a lot of strange combinations of things to school, and even as a high schooler he continued to follow the 7th and 8th graders around.
No high school friends.

I was the weird kid, but that was almost 7 years ago, I really need to get over it and stop checking out these threads all the time just to see if someone mentions me.

>>7368440

Oh yeah there were several girls in my class that had their panties show like that. And one of them was hot as hell. Perfect apple bottom in tight jeans and all that. After school id go home straight away and masturbate. It was a "forbidden fruit" thing because I was a fat, antisocial mess back then. I didnt get bullied by guys much because I was big, strong and had rage issues. But those girls made my life hell. I never got violent towards them though, instead I had rape/murder fantasies about them.

Its funny because present day ive changed alot. Ive met one of them on a nightbus today after a night of going out. At first the bitch shield went up (oh its HIM, I want to be seen talking to HIM) but I ignore her and chill with my friends. And when she got off, she smiles at me and says goodbye.

fuckin bitches hehe

>>7368235
Found her on facebook. Looks like she hasn't gotten over him yet. Poor kid.

>>7368893

I googled the name and came across loads of youtube videos.

There's a kid in my college program, on the getting to meet the proffessors day he asks, without raising his hand, "DO YOU ALL HAVE PHDs?"

the teachers explain that yes, they do have PHDs.

the kid then hollers "BOTH MY PARENTS HAVE PHDs"

the professors kind of awkwardly say something like "oh that's nice, it's good to come from an educated family"

Weird kid hollers "YEAH, BUT MY PARENTS DON'T CARE ABOUT HOW I DO IN SCHOOL, THEY JUST WANT ME TO BE HAPPY."

This kid sits in the very front row and will always contradict the professor in some retarded way or another, in a manner that is usually not relevant at all to what is happening.

>>7368893
Oh man, she really hasn't.

I don't know whether to laugh at her or feel bad for all those times when she threw shitfits under her desk and we ignored her.

>>7368911
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VY_-E8uFdrM

Yeeeah, she's still a retard.

so basically all of you fucks telling stories are still in high school?

>>7368923
Hey wait a minute...
>Girl's Youtube profile
>Age: 16

so I can safely assume that you're under 18, right?

>>7364267

Was his name Christian?

My little brother, Christian, used to do this. When we moved to a new town, he was too shy to make friends at the new school. At lunch, he would wander around and pretend to be going somewhere important. He'd wander around outside, inside, the bathrooms, the gym, chowing down on his lunch. Then he'd start looking for money. In vending machines, payphones, on the ground, in the dirt. This guy sat down and some change fell out of his pocket, and my brother literally dived for it. For the rest of the year, kids threw loose change at him. On weekends he'd pay for stuff with his pocketfuls of coins, and he always took forever to count it out, which was embarassing.

Thankfully in high school he straightened out, he's pretty cool now.

>>7363976
Dude think Narc

Also
that one angy retarded looking Jesus

>>7368976
Or she's lying.

Archive this shit. Penny Picker? Running Kid? fucking hilarious.

Wow, Americans seem like real douchebags.

The weird/disabled kid would mostly get left alone, not picked on/beaten up and shit.

Hehehe no wonder arcanine is like how it is.

bloxx

Congrats, your request has just triggered the archival process for thread 7363834

>archivalinprogressbloxxlol

Weird kids in school. Lets see

Ah there was JOOST. Its hard to describe him. He wore glasses and was practically blind without them. His lips were either too small for his mouth for his teeth too big for his lips. When his mouth was shut it seemed to take effort to keep his lips on top of each other. Some teeth also came out of his gums like vampire teeth.
He mustve had a weird upbringing. Maybe his parents were super religious or something. He also played pokemon and when you got him started he'd talk about it nonstop. He was also a trekkie.

I dont know how hes doing now but I think I saw him pass by once. Though that person had long hair and wore fatigues. He may have become a metalhead or something.

Further than that the was the rich fat kid who would raid the bakery during recess almost every day. He was very sensitive about it and would get agressive whenever anyone but his friends would mention it. (his friends were the schoolyard bullies so I guess he tried to stay on their good side) He once started talking shit about my dead father, it was then that I seriously considered bringing a knife to school to stab him to death.

Oh and the retarded triplets. three hidueously ugly friends who desperately tried to be cool by wearing expensive clothes. I still have contact with one of them who ended up ok.

I was kinda weird until 10th grade:
1st grade - flipped off a girl, got talking to; Went into girls bathroom, skipped class, got talking to
2nd - Nothing too much, just told on a lot of kids
3rd - didnt want to go to school so the principal and my mom were chasing me in the schools parking lot with me not having shoes. Also, 18 yo cousin died
4th - Principal and kid with cancer died same year, first year I stopped doing homework
5th - first D
6th - First girlfriend, wore perfume and church clothes to school, dumped two days later. Got into student council and almost kicked out twice. Called two girls sluts to their face and swore at another. Lost best friends at end of year (went to another school).
7th - Realized I had almost no friends, got sad, got turned down by a girl while I was still rarely showering
8th - Barely graduated with a 30 in english (even though I rule at writing, and have a website), got rejected by two more girls, one borderline stalking, and swore out a few more girls. Also cried in class.
9th - Started as a polo wearing douchebag, grew up a bit, started showering daily, grew into follower by end of the year and was sent to the office twice for dicking around in class.
10th - Said fuck it, joined drama club, started getting more friends and I hung out with people a little bit, wore whatever I wanted, fit in on my own terms, and got into an insane crush and got depressed for two months before turning my life around.

Now Im pursuing a career in stand-up comedy, several years later and have had several MCing jobs so far.

Kid in high School. not quite down syndrome but had that kind of face, not a bad dude just socially retarted and talked in a funny deep monotone.Usually pretty quiet he got riled up when some kids threw bits of paper at him. yelled in a booming voice "LEAVE ME ALONE"...was one of those funny/scary things.

Funniest thing during debating class: the subject was "cheating" in sports and punishments for it or something along those lines. And instead of talking on subject he goes on about all the different ways to cheat in real time strategy games "typing in codes to get more units, resources etc." was one of his lines. Had trouble holding my laughter in, i think i had tears by the end of his speech.

Anyways he left the school and got hit by a bus while riding his bike and died....sad story really.

>>7369038
>>only Americans are douchebags

There was this skinny, underdeveloped kid who only ever grunted. I never heard a goddamn word from him and the only time he ever laughed was when someone got hurt/humiliated.

Never showered and changed his shirt like once a fucking month. You could tell how his week had progressed by the shitty stains on it.

Genius at maths though.

There was this girl in my class during elementary and middle school, her name was Lauren. She was a typical shy kid from a lower-class-family and was sort of slow, but generally ok. (lest she treid to scare me by putting the hood of her jacket over her face and chased me saying she was a ghost or did other annoying stuff) All her things you could clearly see were cheap and made in china but some were really cool (like pens that wrote with perfumy ink and such). We sort of hung out togerther- meaning she tried to but in a sort of gang that consisted of me and my two best friends at the time (a girl and a boy).

Enter fourth grade. Her father suddenly dies of some sort of illness (might be cancer, not sure) and she's shaken to the core. And then, her bitch of a mother (that used to beat her up really bad with anything she laid her hands on- from using her bare hands to rulers to fucking chairs) tells her that she's actually her aunt, who adopted her because her true mother couldn't afford taking care of another child and because she (her aunt) couldn't reproduce. And guess what? Her "father" truly loved her and defended Lauren from her psycho dad, always bringing her gifts and such.

From then on her social life spiraled downwards. I still sort of kept in touch with her, but as we entered middle school and got mixed up with new people, she became a sort of pariah while I integrated perfectly with the new crowd. Everybody made fun of her, even I participated sometimes but usually felt remorse afterward. After entering high school, I lost touch with her completely- she kept herself low profile. We'd only talk when we went past eachother and said hi and that was about it. I have her in my facebook friends list, I feel bad about her whenever I visit her profile.

>>7369094

Oh and there were these 2 girls who were friends. They were both fat, ugly and hunchbacked. One of them looked like a frog and the other like an owl due to her enormous glasses.
Noone really harrassed them or anything. We just acted sarcastically nice, hailing them like long lost friends whenever they showed up. One time they had an arguement and the owl was crying hysterically. Their broken relationship was the news of the day.

After graduation id occasionally see the frog in the street. She looks alot like Susan Boyle now. She even wears those skirts that grannies normally wear.

Oh and then theres Mieke. Imagine the ugliest girl in human history. That is Mieke. She had all the characteristics of a pig I kid you not. Her nose looked like a socket. You could stick a plug in there and expect whatever is attached to it to start working. Her teeth were crooked and yellow. And she always wore clothes that were too tight, exposing her fatrolls like a pig's udders. She also had an incredibly foul personality, but I suppose thats natural if you look like a freaking animal. Shes also the only woman ive ever punched in my life. One day she picked a fight with me after school, as in, she actually walked up to me and punched me with her fists. So was also about my size and weight so I wouldnt have it and pushed her head down sideways and hammered down on her temples a couple times till she cried. Then I spat in her face. The girls that were cheering for her suddenly started booing me and started complaining about men abusing women. typical.

In 7th grade some goofy-looking wigger made fun of me because I mentioned Gundam in class.

He killed a nigger the next year. So I occasionally have a laugh knowing that he's being raped in jail.

First or second grade there was this kid that was cool and normal, a big guy named Morgan the cool kids would call Morgasm. Anyhow, one day for some reason he started playing with scissors. It was before we were to watch a movie and the teacher said to stop playing with him. The lights went out and half way through the movie someone screamed and when the lights turned on half of Morgan's face was covered in blood. He evidently had cut himself and was bleeding all over the place. For some reason the teacher was oblivious to his condition, rather outraged, and sent him to the nurse, bleeding all the way there. We lost a teacher and Morgan seemed to return normal after that and was quite popular up until middle to school where he and his family moved away.

>>7369204
Ooops, small mistake on my part:
>Her "father" truly loved her and defended Lauren from her psycho mom, always bringing her gifts and such.

It's really late over here so I wasn't paying that much attention while writing.

Bampin thread, epicness must be in front page

ITT: Autobiographies.

>>7369248

What did he do to his face with those scissors!?

bimpbumpblox

I have just spent the last 3 hours reading all of this thread.
Had a few laughs and all. God speed Running Kid

>>7363861
>movie on
haha

I knew this kid who joined special ed so that he could have sex with a psychotic girl
dude was fucking cool

There was this one kid that I went to school with who waked in every day with a big smile on his face, and it was there all. Day. Long. Eating lunch, smiling. Running in gym, smiling. The only time he wouldn't smile was when he played in band, because that was apparently improper technique, but you could see it in his EYES he was smiling. It was 2am on a class trip once, we just got up to go on a flight home, and this kid has a huge grin on his face! Crazy!

oh wait.

That was me :DDDDDD

This kid used to go to my highschool (this is like two years ago btw, inb4 underage banned, i'm 18, a senior). He was really fat, but he wore tight pants and hung out with all the XXX-SCENE KIDS-XxX
but he did the dumbest shit ever, and everyone really disliked him. He would just eat shit off the ground, and like, metal and crap. This one day, I walked into my math class, and there was this big hole in the wall. Apparently, this huge kid had attempted to do a backflip off of a desk, or something, and made totally destroyed the wall. My school's vice principle (who is rather fat himself) responded with "Ok kid. This is why fat people shouldnt try to do backflips"

>>7364282

This story made me smile.

I have so many.
Last year was year 12 for me, as an Ausfag.
Our whole year was full of them.

There was this one ginger girl who just talked about her internet friends and games like gaia all the time, and was obsessed with peru for some reason. She read really shit 'young adult' books and tried to make me read them, and wrote her own stories which were incredibly cliched and lame. She also wore cat ears in public.

One faggot who took drugs in school, was always stoned, and was bulimic. Oh hey I see you're turning up after going to the bathroom crunching on a mint again, how quaint. He had a car he thought was the shit and covered it with one of those tarp protector things, but it was a rustbucket of a thing.

This other kid was a typical /b/tard who would yell out 'I JUST LOST THE GAME' in class and was a fucking ginger and a mouthbreather and wore sunglasses in class because it made him look hardcore, apparently. Once I told him he looked like a douche and he stopped wearing them for months, but then started again at the end of the year because 'the lights in class gave him migranes'.