mcdonalds date was one of my favorites

cool incomprehensible .jpg text, bro.

I remember when I made my own contribution to this boards rich history by creating the Boy's Treehouse Thread.

I miss getting to prefix bat to everything.

>>7337779
what movie is cain from?

Indeed. I remember the sequel to the saga of Cain, where Cain finally consummates his reputation as a master of mischief by turning the narrator into an aggressor and "saving" his preferred female from his ravages, finally copulating with her just a few short yards away.

Cain is one cool motherfucker

>>7337905
I had a guy like Cain in my school, he was awesome.

But where's Fionn? He is the master of the douchebaggery, bar none.

>>7337885
bumb for answers

>>7338107
still need answers

>>7337925
I have the Fionn thread saved somewhere as a .mht... I'll see about turning it into a pic and poasting.

FUCK I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERED CAIN

FUCK YEAH DONUTS

Who punched Jeff? Punchblox

can anyone tell me wtf happened today? I missed it

requestinghamfuckerblox

I was there for the FUCK YEAH CAIN threads.

Oh god, it was epic. Even weeks after, there were threads about how to be more like Cain.

He became such a legend to us robots. He was our idol.

Delivering delicious Fionn thread. I can't believe you guys would take Cain over Fionn, seriously.

FUCK YEAH CAIN! I FUCKIN TOOK SCREEN SHOTS OF ALL THE FUCKIN POSTS!
FUCKIN DRESSED UP LIKE A PUMPKIN AND SAT IN THE TEACHERS DESK!

cainbloxonsillysox

/r/ rapidshit or screencap of full cain thread. I lost it in a hard drive crash.

>>7337825

Someone post this one.

>>7339312
Has there been any updates on the fionn thing?

I'm not sure if it's fiction or reals

>>7339312
this is a good read. Long but worth it. Some might rage over it though

>>7339312
Ah Fionn, that's how school shooting get started. In this case I'd help him pony up for some full metal jacket rounds. I doubt it's fully true, but I would do everything in my power to destroy both of them. Nothing makes me rage quite like that story.

>>7339579
It's like a catch-22

God damnit Cain is fucking awesome.

That guy who wrote the fionn thread needs to make another thread with updates. Unless it was totally made up of course

I must...I must know if this Fionne character is real. I must know if he really did do these things. I will murder this man. I will find him, and I will kill him for that narrator. Cannot...CONTROL...CONTROL...

I was kind of like Cain. Bad breath, I usually didn't shower for days so I stunk. For some reason, this really increased my need to do comedy so people didn't hate me. My fucking god, excellent experience to be the clown.

Remember that awesome dude from the cafe? with a sword on his staff? he was Denny, right?
I miss those big threads, guys. ;__;

>>7339312
>I can't believe you guys would take Cain over Fionn, seriously.

They're completely different. Cain is a bro that the narrator is too bitter and jealous to like. Fionn is a complete sociopath who intends to harm others.

Gentlemen
TETRACHLORURE DIOXIDE
who punched Jeff?
popcorn guy
SHE IS GOING TO FUCK A LOT OF DUDES
The dude that joined to the special class to fuck a redhead.
ps I am the ham fucker

>>7338949

The eternaI question.

>>7339976
To defeat the sociopath, you must become the sociopath.

>>7339312
I fucking lolled over the nerdy asian kid saying he had to man up and challenge him to a sword duel.

Otherwise I fucking raged.

anymore awesome threads on r9k?

FIONN I WILL RIP YOUR FUCKING SPINE OUT THROUGH YOUR THROAT OOUUUUAAARRRGHHHH

Anyone remember that one with the asians?

Hole troll was pretty obvious fake, he said he would post again but he hasn't yet.

Anyone remember the story of the guy going to special ed to have sex with a retard girl?

The story of Won Lee?

Those 2 were archived but we never saw their conclusions.

Then there was that great story about the guy who said he fucked someone every week, it ended up as a long story on how he fucked an old lady, anally raped by a nazi, fucked a leper, fucked a penguin and that one wasn't archived and we didn't see the conclusion.

>>7342399
sex grand master, he fucked lepers and shoved cucumbers up his ass.

>>7339312
This fionn character sounds quite fake. No one can be THAT much of a fucking dickhead. Or can they r9k?

>>7342399

Lee Won was fucking suave.

>>7342472

Haha, I feel like such a fucking weeaboo, but I was just watching Death Note. Anyone that's seen it will immediately get who Fionn reminds me of

FIONN IT'S BEEN HALF AN HOUR AND I AM STILL GOING TO TRACK YOU DOWN AND RAPE YOU AND YOUR STUPID GIRLFRIEND

>>7340024
I'm sad you're the only person to have mentioned Marine girl FUCKING A LOT OF DUDES in this thread.

>>7342399
Zoe was epic. I still read it from time to time.

http://pastebin.com/f624dbf74

>>7342472
Hate to say it but its true, theres people even worse than that.

Any thread I've posted in automatically becomes great

so this thread is now great!

>>7342624
you look just like me except for the mole on your neck

>>7342624
dude you have a fucking giraffe neck

Gentlemen...

Cain punched Jeff.

That is all.

OH MY FUCKING GOD FIONN I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND RIP VARIOUS ORGANS FROM YOUR BODY

>>7342659

and that's why I'm so sexy

>>7342665

exactly. The neck of sexiest animal of the wild, ladies go mad for a giraffe's tongue ;)

>>7342595
just started to read this one. It's quite long but I'm bracing for some wild story. Not sure if it is fake or nto though

And that Fionn guy is a fucking tool

Who punched Jeff?

I still do not know :(

>>7342509

Seriously, Fionn = Yagami Light

But that's a compliment

>>7342595
Just read this one. Well worth it.

>>7342595
I AM LOLING SO HARD RIGHT NOW

"Please have sex with my daughter."

I rose up from the couch I was sitting at, ready to walk away, and then sat down when I knew that he would tackle me before I got to the door. When he said that, I just felt my legs lift up without me even thinking. What the fuck was this guy thinking?

Not understand. What I like about here is the conversation. The back and forth. The arguing, the responding to others and their ideas.

Why one earth would the best of R9k be made up solely of a single samefag making like 30 posts in a row, with no one responding?

hole troll is my favorite.

>>7342907
People were replying. En masse. Whoever made the screenshot cut them out.

>>7342924
someone needs to post the whole thread as well as the ones just by the OP

>>7342595
Is this story real or fake?

>>7342595
>>7342595
LMAO I only read the first half and liked it, but I'm reading through the 2nd half and I get why this is GOLD. The guy just keeps digging a deeper and deeper hole.

>>7342404

I was the writer of the SexGrandMaster story. It was finished and posted on /r9k/...

>>7342595

quoteblox

>And this my friends, is the story of how I joined Special Ed. to fuck a retarded girl.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAA

Oh, noooo XD

>>7342963
First thread got deleted after the penguin fuck on Day 5, could you post the rest?

>>7342595
Is there a sequel?

>>7337862
OMG I loved that! Thank you for that awesome internet experience. I was in the girls' tree house, btw.

>>7342548
I was around for that one. My first exposure to /r9k/'s greatness.

>>7342983

http://pastebin.com/f45798f12

Days 6 and 7 are looooooooong.

The tale of Zappa was pretty good.

>>7342595
Thanks for putting up the Zoe story. Well worth the time.

>>7343034

where are the other days, then?

I am laughing so hard at the Zoe story.

Oh god, I'm laughing.

Dear god, I was there for all the other ones, I don't know how I missed Zoe.
It's so terrible, it's so good....

>>7343082

I'lI upload them now, if you want.

Can we have more screenshots of stuff?

Hey guys remember the guy who wanted to kill that bush?
XFD

>>7343120
>>7343082

http://pastebin.com/f719b1e91

K. Days 1-5.

I fucking whipped out a Dr Pepper and yelled 'IM THE FUCKING DONUT MAN' when i heard about Cain.

Also, Newfags dont know about Cain.

I haven't read this thread, but..FUCK A LOT OF DUDES. If you were around that far back, you are awesome.

>>7342624
dude, wash your shirt already.

I missed the won lee thread.
Who has a copy of that shit?

>>7343188
http://pastebin.com/f20955533
here you og

>>7343305
>>7343305
>>7343305
fuck yeah, WON LEE.
I always wondered if I was the only anon that saved shit.

Do you guys have a special notepad for r9k stories, pictures, etc? We should all share it somewhere.

Also tl;dr of won lee.

i don't think it's very well known, it's kinda short but it's a fun read.
It's about a guy who meets a girl on the train.

We met at a cafe in Berkeley....

even shorter, a 2 post one, but very well written imo.

I really want to see the Zoe story turned into a movie, sounds like an apatow film

FUCK YOU FIONN

I want to beat the shit out of that fucker as well

>>7340024
Apart from this everyone else seems to be only saying stuff from the last 6 months or so of this board. Makes me sad because the first 8 months on here were brilliant.

I liked the guy who roofied his mother over peanut butter.

The vent girl story, only one on here to actually make me feel a bit emotional.

Yay, my thread is still here.

>>7343576
That really was an amazing story. Shit should be published. Uhh...I really hope none of you thought it was real though.

>>7343639
Worse yet, this is some of the most mediocre of the lot.

I can't believe you guys.

Still can't believe it took that long for someone to mention she's going to fuck a lot of dudes at the army bitch.

>>7337825
lrn2glasses if you can't fucking see normally

>>7343698
vent girl rings a bell, but i can't place it. summary?

The Skymall thread was excellent
And Greek Rioter 'Pew Pew Pew' got that way.

My personal favorite seems to be Lee Won with his Rock Band!

> implying /r9k/ has not met its demise with the introduction of the new boards, and now this
WHY DOES NOONE ELSE RECOGNISE WHAT A GHOST BOARD THIS HAS BECOME

THERE ARE LIKE FIFTY LURKERS LEFT NOW

>>7343821
Probably because Peter is a perceptive guy unlike most people.

>>7343698
It might not be real, but I'm telling you.

Shit works.

So did the Fionne poster ever say what happened next. I'd take a baseball bat to Fionne's convertible drug him and dump him naked in the blackest most evil part of L.A.

I miss hole troll so much, i dont care if he isnt real

ill wait for him to show up again forever

I remember fucking Cain, god damn I felt like I was part of something. It was like R9K's first epic thread, and god was it delicious.

Holy shit, the Lee Won story was long as fuck.

I was pretty bummed when it revealed itself to be a farce 3/4 of the way through.

At first Leon seems like an aggressive character, at the end he could have been played by Michael Cera or something. And "dad running away with sweedish girl" became "died from drinkan"

All in all good reading, I fuck yeah'ed for Lee Won quite a few times.

I never caught hole troll. Can anyone post it?

Why don't we find fionn and do bad things to him

What I experienced was Lee Won, Zoe, Cain, Hoel Troll, Barnes and Nobles and probably some otehr great shit.
Every now and then does /r9k/ unearth a diamond and that is one of the few reasons I stay here.

I could get a rapidshit file for picture version of Lee Won, Zoe and soem other story about a guy who did something really cool but I forgot what it was. I made it a while ago but they are all in multiple parts, teh shortest being 5 pics with dimension of something around 700X 2000 pixels.
Although not strictly /r9k/ related, but I have this sweet story about a multiple day trip from eating a handful of Datura seeds

>>7344075
There are tons of good stories about mental Datura trips here
http://www.erowid.org/plants/datura/datura.shtml
I have some Datura seed pods on my shelf, because they look cool. I am not touching that shit even if I was paid thousands of $$. Fuck no.

>>7344120
A Tale of Nudity, Arrest & Insanity.....

Is the one I read, and dang, that was probably the funniest story about a trip ever. In fact I plan on using some DXM soon, but Im afraid Ill flip shit if I do it alone.

>>7343974

The whole thread can be found here.

http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=6938187&x=I+live+in+a+hole

Remember that guy who wanted to kill that shrub that was pissing him off at work?

Yeah, neither does pepperidge.

>>7344210
Didnt he take loads of trash near it or something?
It stained the grass in the neighbors lawn but I dont remember much.

Is hole troll actually real?

The pics he took look real

>>7344210
yeah that was awesome, he poisoned it didnt he?

Also does anyone have the Glasses story?

>>7344182
Holy shit I just read that entire thread, and I gotta say I <3 Hole Troll. Even if the whole thing was a troll, it was the best and most thought out troll in the history of 4chan.

>>7344527

Tripfag from the future was better.

>>7344527
>>7344603
I almost wonder if its not the same guy, since their posts/personality are written in the same sort of style and they both have a knack for coming up with clever answers whenever somebody tries to call them out.

>>7344642

It'd make sense. Did anyone have the presence of mind to save posts and compare the trips?

>>7339312
What can i say..

I have visited 4chan for a long time now. I've browsed many threads from /b/, /r9k/ etc. Be it troll threads, rage you lose threads or whatever.

After reading Fionn i must say i have never raged as hard to anything else ever written on this site.

What a total fucking dick.

>>7344668
Yes, even taken as a work of fiction that cool story bro has all the elements of an ultimate rager.

I'm reading CAIN and I can already see it... It's his alter ego, isn't it? God, it took me long enough. Quite a mind blowage....

I can't stop imagining Cain as Cook now.

Thank you for that Fionn story, very good read.

Ha I remember Zoe, time well fucking spent. And everyday when I'd come home from classes I'd be like "I really hope Leon put some fucking shit up today."

Lee Won and Cain should be the stars in a buddy movie.

God damn.

/r9k/ - Stories

And that's exactly how it should be.

fuckkkk the Lee Won story was worth reading.

Three posts left to go and I see nothing too wrong with Fionn so far.

That little whore however...

Just finished the Fionn story.

Proved to me yet again how mindless the 4chan userbase really is.

What's so FUCKING WRONG WITH FIONN when the little whore Casey is twenty times worse? You hate Fionn but it could have been anyone. She's the one at fault here.

Here's a little observation - everyone who hates Fionn is American and male.

Fuck yeah, Lee Won!

lmao apparently this isn't original

>>7345097
Fionn was the one who started it all happening. If there was no Fionn the story wouldn't have occurred. Not to say that Casey wasn't a fucking whore but Fionn was just a total dick about the whole thing.

>On the bed is my girlfriend and Fionn, trapped under a blanket and her head leaning on his shoulder.
> Fionn just stares me, puts a finger to his lips, and says 'Shhhh, we're watching a movie. If you want to stay, go sit in that open chair.'


At that point, he should have pretended to comply, like "hehe sure, i'll be right back" and go away. Then the plan kicks in: he'd return to his room, get wasted really fast (it was college, no challenge there), vomit into a bucket. Then he should have returned to Allison's(?) room, drunk as a skunk, and DUMP THE PUKE ALL OVER FIONN AND THE CUNT

epic breakup y/n?

>>7344729
>>7344729

>mailto:saga

>>7345288
Nice thinking, I would have just kicked the shit out of him right there if it happened to be. Especially if he just waved it off knowing we were going out.
Probably get expelled or some shit, fuck.
Casey is still the bigger whore, but I really can't see myself punching a woman except self-defense possibly?

>>7345223

Fionn's mindgames, luring that guy to punch him is diabolical. And the suit... ugh. Though the writer shouldve just dumped Casey sooner, then called her a whore and spit in her face. It would have saved him alot of trouble.

What about the guy who poisoned his mom and dropped her off in the desert? That was like at the dawn of /r9k/ so I don't think anyone may remember that.

unlikely rap battles and fat fuck chins?

/R9K/ ERR' DAY


I love this thread! So many memories!

>>7337862

Holy shit I remember that thread, you are a great man.

>>7339312
tthat made me a sad panda

stories threads are the best thing to come from /r9k/
someone should start a thread for those

moar moar moar! oh please god more so I can forget my life sucks.

>>7345223

Bullshit, if it wasn't Fionn, it would have been someone else. Little whore's first time out in the big world. Hating Fionn is like hating the rain or the wind.

FUCK YEAH CAIN! CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT! BEST THING TO EVER HAVE IN A SCHOOL!

>>7345391

I remember that story. The peanut butter sandwich or whatever it was? Where he and his mom actually despised eachother?

lee won was the best story mainly because i know a dude named lee won who is the fucking most amazing person ever

ZOE WAS FUCKING EPIC. READ THAT FUCKING STORY GUYS.

HEY BITCHES ITS CORNER NIGGA UP IN HERE BRINGING DOWN SOME ON YO WHITE CRACKA ASSES

post moar stories robots

>>7346052

Oh man, corner nigger.

He was fucking righteous.

Remember the guy who pissed in a bottle, then went to the empty office adjacent to his and poured it out on the floor and walls?

All because he didn't want to show his coworkers how many times he pissed in a day.

Bumping this to quell the robot.

Lee Won was great. Foinne was a fucking prick. Zoe had me in stitches. Cain was... and that sexdude was freaky.

yeah, great thread

>>7346138

YES I remember that, i wonder if he was ever discovered...

I think it was first posted on /b/ actually but one of my fondest memories (and greatest regrets) was not saving the epic wincest story posted a while back.

The only thing I remember was that it used this pic to open the thread and that the subject field was fermat prime numbers or some other obscure math shit like that.

[/subtle /r/equest]

Anybody remembers that story about a guy having nasty fucks everyday for a week?

>>7343645

Does anybody have a copy of the vent girl story? I definitely want to read that.

>>7340024
>TETRACHLORURE DIOXIDE
>SHE IS GOING TO FUCK A LOT OF DUDES
>ps I am the ham fucker

>>7343639
>the guy who roofied his mother over peanut butter.

>>7345391
>the guy who poisoned his mom and dropped her off in the desert

If anyone has sauces on these, don't hold back.

>>7348633

Fuck alot of dudes:
http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/dspl_thread.php5?thread_id=711810&x=she+is+going+to+fuck+a+lot+o
f+dudes

Can't help with the rest

Good times, good times. l'm feeling the urge to write another story.

So does anyone have the Sex Grand Master ones?

Screens were posted within that thread.

I rly wish I could be like cain, but id prolly get arrested if i did any of that at my school.

>>7348864

Those stories were already posted in this thread...

http://pastebin.com/f719b1e91
http://pastebin.com/f45798f12

dunno bout no screens

fdhfghgfhg h

WHERE IS THE BOY-WHORE THREAD? DID ANYONE SAVE THE BOY-WHORE THREAD? I MUST HAVE DELICIOUS HOT COUGAR ACTION.

bumping this thread.

this thread is so fucking great.

What about that guy's story about how he picked up a dyke lesbian bar by dressing up like a woman?

That shit, real or not should be published in Playboy or something.

>>7345097

Australian male, Casey was a whore, yes. But Fionn was also terrible. Common courtesy if you're stealing a guy's girlfriend would be doing the exact opposite. It's like going up to a mother who just lost their child and saying, "I've still got mine, what happened to your kid again? Oh yes cot death! Fucking sucks to be you.".

This thread has kept me occupied for hours. Fionn story was amazing.

Thanks, robots!

Anyone remember that thread where the guy tells a girl he just met that he has a husky?

She says they should go on a doggy date and so he has to somehow convince her he has one. He was considering doing all sorts of crazy shit to convince her that he actually had a dog

Somebody post the Won Lee one!

>>7354093
I was just thinking if someone would mention that one, it was an obvious troll, but enjoyable.

Hole Troll was awesum too.

>>7339312

God fucking damn. I have never wanted to fucking hurt someone I've never met as much as Fionn.

>>7353888
l really hope fionn was a troll story

bumping the last great /r9k/ thread

Fion is a faggot. I would of beat the ever living shit out of him the first day I met him, Guido style. That fucking story makes me rage so hard.

>>7356953
I can't believe OP of that thread wouldn't have given the dox if it was real. The collective force of /ronery9k/ /b/tards /v/irgins would massively rape him both online and irl. I mention IRL because, fuck, almost no story in the history of 4chan has ever caused so much fucking RAGE.

>>7343161
A LOT OF DUDES was great. classic r9k.

>>7357720
I posted in ALOT OF DUDES.

I was the first guy to subtly mention OP's beutiful angel was going to be less virtuous then he thought she would be which ultimately led up to SHE IS GOING TO FUCK ALOT OF DUDES guy to clear up any confusion about what we were hinting at.

>>7357591
someone posted a myspace to fionn (who fit EXACTLY the same description of the story) but it most likely wasn't him

god i wish i saved that link

anything classic criminal wrote, ever

>>7357740
yeah, I watched that one go down in realtime. Fucking hilarious thread. I feel like an r9k oldfag. Not as glamorous as a 4chan oldfag, but nifty all the same.

oldfag pic. kinda related.

I want a sequel to the Zoe story, it was sogood.

Hole Troll was a pretty cool guy, I regret not saving the thread.
If anyone else has it, post pleeease.

Surprised Futureguy hasn't been mentioned yet.

Cain was mediocre. Forced middleschool drama.

That one guy with the Shame thread was fucking awesome.

Also that dude who took pictures of cat ladies apartment.

The original island thread was good, not to mention all the awesome threads during the first 20 days of r9k.

God, this place really went down hill.

>>7358996
and Zoe was pure gold.

remember the dude that shit himself in the computer lab in "uni?" that was fucking great

>>7358765
Zoe doesn't need a sequel, it's already great on its own.

Then again I really want to know what other shit OP could get himself into, so I'm kinda on the fence.

>>7357591
Fionn was probably fiction

Anyone got the "ALOT OF DUDES" thread?

Am I the only one who was here for the story about the guy who adopted a young girl who had abusive parents?

Can't remember his or her name, but it was beautiful.