So, what you're saying is that your roommate is still a kid, unwilling to grow up and move on with their life?

>>7337052

What is going on in that cartoon? How did he hurt his foot?

OP should rape her just for the reaction 08jm2

marching band simulator"

Im sorry but WAT?

You're saying you've NEVER fucked with this kid? Oh my god he would make my days.

Oh and I don't have a fucking roommate. But please, tell us how you've fucked with this kid.

>>7337052

> marching band simulator

What in the fuck?

>>7337052
>and likely thinks I'm some hybrid of an asshole, recluse, and pervert.
You're on /r9k/. You already retain properties of all three. Denial only backs up my claim.

All I can imagine a marching band simulator being is some weird StarCraft mod.

"SPAWN MORE TROMBONE PLAYERS."

Also, is your roommate the PTSD clarinet kid, by any chance?

OP sounds like an arrogant piece of shit. He probably wears his little sister's jeans and listens to indie music.

My roommate is female. At first things were pretty awkward. Like a forced marriage or something. But as we grew more comfortable with each other things got pretty cool. She's pretty cuddly :3

please give us the name of this marching band simulator

>>7337132

inb4 jealously

My roommate got pissed off because a girl I had over used the last of the toilet paper and I hadn't been in the bathroom since to put more on the roll. Then he went and pulled the "I want to live on my own because I'm graduating" only to get a new apartment with my other friend.

>>7337074

Lol, I know. I didn't know they existed. He posts his "creations" on Facebook sometimes.

>>7337071

It's not a girl, but I can't say I haven't considered raping him for the lulz. He's got a pretty girlish ass, actually.

>>7337066

i dunno lol

>>7337062

Well, I guess he's matured enough to be at college. Otherwise, though...

Once I had a fat roommate. Like, really really fat. He had to turn sideways to fit through doors comfortably. We coexisted in silence, he didn't seem to have friends.

I walked in on him fapping several times. Luckily, his gut was large enough that I never saw his dick. Generally if I saw what was going on, I would turn 360 degrees and walk right out of there.

Once though, I just swerved into the bathroom and killed some time in there. When I came out he was gone. But he must have left in a hurry, since he left his computer on.

Like anyone, I looked at it. He had a shitty Jesus on the cross wallpaper, okay, that's dumb but not horrible.

Then, I noticed a minimized window. What was it?

Some Spanish blog full of young boy softcore porn. Pictures of young boys in little tight swimsuits and all sorts of things like that.

So, my fat awkward roommate was a christfag, gay, and a pedo. That must be miserable as hell.

Creepy as hell, man.

>>7337205
Your roommate was a priest?

>>7337129

Everything I put down is 100% accurate and unembellished. If you want to pity my roommate, go on, but I've hardly said anything negative about him that isn't objectively negative.


>>7337103

>implying I was denying anything

>>7337085
>>7337077

Sorry bros, never fucked with him. Not intentionally, at least. I made a sarcastic comment last semester, but that was because I misheard him. I do steal his food sometimes, though.

My roomate sucked at washing dishes even though reminding him 3 times. He had a hot gf though and I saw her coming from the shower with a towel around her body, pretty akward.

>>7337234

No, but I bet he aspired to be one.

Maybe a past experience with a priest was part of how he turned out, somehow. Maybe that molestation was the only sexual experience he ever had and so he fixates upon it to this day.

Either way it was gross.

A fucking dirty girl that left period blood everywhere in the bathroom, never brushed her teeth, didn't use deodorant, her room had a horrible smell.

>>7337205
>turn 360 degrees and waIk right out of there.
>turn 360 degrees
>360 degrees
laughingreactionimage.jpg

I had a fully grown man as my roommate.

>Search Limewire by 'all files' on closed campus sharing network
>Find 'rape montage'
>Search files by that user
>Find CV of roommate
>Laugh heartily, tell everyone

>>7337271
My perfect waifu

>>7337333

Triples means you should download that and post it in this thread.

I had one roommate in the dorms first year college who always brought back curry from home. He's heat it up in the microwave and eat it, but when he finished (and he never ate all of it) he would leave it out until it got absolutely rank.

He also would rage if I left the door unlocked because he had an expensive tennis racket. But he was a good guy.

I had a roommate that would whistle a lot.
Except there was no alteration in pitch and tone. He would just whistle a note in rhythm to what he was listening to.

FEEP FEEP-FEEP FEEEP FEEEP FEEEP FEEEP FEEEEEEEP

GOD DAMN, PJ, CUT THAT SHIT OUT

Last year my roommate was a pseudo-hipster christfag (actually, he's not into organized religion, "he's just really spiritual") that went to bed at 9 or 10 PM. Several times I was blatantly working on HW when he asks if he can turn the light off, because he can't sleep unless it's pitch black and silent as death. When I respond negatively, he'd passive-aggressively ask if I'm done every few minutes until I leave to do it in the lounge. He also got a tattoo of some water symbol or some shit, and spent literally a month bragging about it to his awkward christfag friends. But he played guitar about as well as Jimi Hendrix, no shit, and if he wasn't a complete tool in every other aspect he'd have been rolling in pussy. One time I walked in completely baked with a relatively fine friend and just talked about how hungry I was for five minutes before carting off literally three grocery bags to my friend's to eat. I think he might have suspected something was up, especially after my recovering prude friend asked me to get her, quote, "some stuff" right in front of him. One of the few times I've actually facepalmed in reality.

Now I've moved out of the honors dorm (is that surprising?) and everyone that knows him from last year says he's become a troll; not in the 4chan sense, but rather he stopped cutting his hair at all, or shaving, and has horrible horrible acne.

My roommate is a chubby, nerdy, aspie girl (I'm a girl too) who CONSTANTLY eats chocolate in bed crinckling wrappers and shit and chewing loudly. She NEVER cleans up, she's awkward as hell, and never ever ever leaves the room. My boyfriend fucking hates her because I can't show him my tits or anything on my webcam cause she's always there. She hates men and is a virgin. She cries about everything all the time. She has this general look about her like somebody kicked her puppy and stole her lolli pop. It's fucking annoying. She's never washed a single dish or put anything away.

>>7337205
maybe you saw him fap several times before because you kept turning 360 degrees after seeing him

>>7337108
I fucking lolled, good play anon, good play

>>7337205
This is what I imagine living with this guy must have been like

>>7337569

Jeaniuous

Roommate, Year II: This Time, It's Personal!

Also, fuck year Iowa (in the OP cartoon).

Anyway, last semester I had sleepy bro version of roommate one. He, too, would go to bed ridiculously early, but he wasn't as anal about me working when he went to bed, and was a pretty cool guy. He did always put football on, turn the volume to maximum, and then just leave the room. Sometimes to go to the bathroom, sometimes he'd just not come back until the next day, so I'd always feel a bit guilt turning it off.

The one time I partied with him and his friends, he was raucous to say the least; he was yelling at literally every person we passed on the street to go to the party with us, and he was damn insistent about it, too. He managed to snag an awkward Chinese kid from foreign exchange in the end, but that's irrelevant I guess. The reason this was weird is because he's usually so fucked on his prescription Ritalin and shit he just sits in his chair sleepily for the entire day, so I don't know whether he decided not to take it that day, or the booze counter-acted it or what, but it was strange. I later found out that was pretty much the only time he'd partied the entire semester, when I was moving out and chatting with his best-friend / cousin.

This year I got a new roomate. He's christfag with no friends and hard-right political ideas. His room doesn't have posters and he has ALL his clothes on the library instead of the closet so his room smells like putrid shit.

He spends days without getting out of the flat. He gets into his room and does whatever the fuck a christfag does on the internet. Once he left the flat for more than a pair of hours and I got in to take a look and apart of the smell I saw he had pictures of Jesus over his desk.

Of course he doesn't have friends. Nobody comes to visit him, doesn't get out other than going to class, doesn't smoke, drink. Also I don't know what the fuck he does on his computer all day. He doesn't browse 4chan, doesn't have Facebook, DOESN'T DO ANYTHING. He doesn't study in his room because well, he fails more exams than a retarded monkey And of course, he doesn't knows shit because he doesn't do shit. You can't really have a conversation with him because he doesn't know of what to talk other than weather. The other day he told me what was this 'Queen' poster I had on my room. He's incredibly awkward, gets sweaty easily while talking and has a stupid accent. I could bet money that he hasn't kissed a girl in his whole life (21 years old).

Also he does a lot of strange stuff, like shaving at 12 PM (even if he can't grow facial hair for shit), avoiding eye contact and human interactions. I have to change of flat next year or I KNOW I'll punch him in the face if he asks me what is Led Zeppelin or who is Robert Downey Jr.

(On a sidenote I like troll him, like trying to explain him that I'm a satanist or that I force my girlfriend to have abortions).

>>7337569
LO
>>7337581
L

kent blockman

never had a roommate, but if i had, he would be posting in this thread

my roommate is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed surfer from central Jersey. he's pretty insecure and takes this out in a kind of macho way, and calls people faggots a lot. he's actually kind of cool though, I'm definitely getting to like him. he's randomly real nice to me and takes getting sexiled extremely well. mostly I'm glad he's my roommate. also, he just presitged his COD so I'm very excited about that.

>>7337569

Chuckle'd.

Make that a laptop, the guy a little bit less fat, and me not Michael Jackson and that's pretty much spot on.

bumping this for more stories

I had a total loser of a roommate my year at college. The guy never left the room unless it was for food. He played CoD all day and would constantly yell at his TV. He once punched my mini fridge because of the game. He didn't do any laundry and would go home several times a semester and bring his laundry with him so his mom could do it. He wore the same clothes all the time and smelled pretty bad because of it.

When he wasn't playing video games he would sit in his bed want watch TV on his laptop REALLY loudly. H?e would also leave the window open in the middle of winter because he overheated from lying in bed too long. One day me and a few friends went to my room and it was seriously 30 degrees inside. My friends didn't see my roommate initially because his bed was loft and to the side, so they started saying how much of a weirdo he was leaving the window open. He never opened the window again after that day.

He also left food out everywhere and never did anything to clean up the room. I'm so glad I don't have to live with him anymore.

>>7337132
damn you university of chicago!

>>7337703
My roomate directly turns off the heat without telling anyone.

I actually got to choose my roommate this year unlike you other faggots. He's a pretty cool guy, except I am the only one who ever makes any attempt at starting conversations, so we sit in silence if we are both in the room. I never see him talk to anyone, I don't think he is friends with anyone else, he NEVER leaves the room other than to go to class, and he doesn't even go to the dining hall unless I ask him if he wants to join me. I don't think he ever really does his work either. He's just on his computer a lot, but I respect his privacy so I don't really know what he's doing on there, although I think he's usually just watching videos and chatting with friend/s from high school.

me and my friend blake were in atl and both about 19-20 living by ourselves, i ha just gotten kicked out of college and he let me stay at his place. we started selling weed together and partying all the time, i was very good at it and knew alot of people by having moved around a lot in my life. anyways this kid blake showed me 4chan while we lived together and then another friend eril got out of jail but already knew about it too. eventually bc of the money we fucked up and really dont talk any more. but they were THE stereotypical obese white male 4channer.

3 housemates.
A stoner, a drunk, and a gay guy.
Me and my bf are the nerds who live in the basement.
It can get pretty sitcomish sometimes.
(yes I know, blah blah blah you're not a cumdumpster enjoy your gay sex)

>>7337792
I don't get it. Are you a guy or a girl then? No one cares if you're gay.

next to my awesome one bedroom apartment there's a dorm for kids that have scholarships and i can see trough the window of a couple of their rooms, and damn those are shitty conditions there are like 4 guys in a 7x7 room and apparently the bathroom is outside at the end of the hallway shared with other 4 rooms that have the same sizes. i bet that must be a pretty stressful environment

>>7337809
I am a girl

vaginabloxxzzzz

I have 3 so here it goes:
1. Boyfriend. He does most of the cooking, but doesn't clean too much unless I ask. Plus I get sex, so this is good.
2. Troll. We roomed freshman year and he was messy as hell, but got better last year. We were fine till about a week ago and now I'm considering changing roomates for last year (He was still pretty dirty and never cooks).
3. Absent guy. I dunno, I scared him off first quarter by being a kitchen nazi when he left dishes out. I calmed down, but now he doesn't do any of his dishes, still a bit frustrating.
4. My puesdo-roomate, who was supposed to be 3, but payment issues. My best friend and probably the person I would get alone with the most in terms of roomates.
Me: I'm kinda a neat freak with common areas and a bit of kitchen nazi. I cook and I think I'm the only one who cleans on a fairly regular basis. I get up a few hours earlier than the others and go to sleep earlier, but I rarely have any problems with noise. Next year 1, 4 and I will probably find a 4th person to go in with. In the end, they're all pretty good roomates, but 1 and 4 and I tend to get along better than 2 or 3.

itt: we make up funny sounding roommates.

My first time in college this semester.
My roommate is a senior, accounting major I think, and has friends, possibly a girlfriend too. He's hardly ever here. He sleeps here during the week, and sometimes on the weekend too, but as soon as he leaves the room in the morning, he won't come back until 11 or 12 at night.

If we do happen to be in the room at the same time (which happens, as I hardly ever leave, especially now that it's cold as fuckall outside), we just sit at our computers and try not to bother each other. He's music tastes seem to range from horrid metal to classical songs that are my favorite as well (I saw him shaking his head to the melody of Zapateado just yesterday!). I would've said something to him when he started listening to my favorite songs, but I didn't trust that my voice would work, so I kept quiet.
Oh, he has some weird idiosyncrasy to call every boy he meets "brother". "Hey, brotha, mind if I turn out the lights?"(to me) "Hey, brotha, did you get my email?" (to some guy on the phone) "Yo, brotha, how's it going? You get those tables for your shop?" (again, phone). He's white, and a little big. I thought it odd (still do), but whatever.

Oh, there's these two guys next door that share our bathroom too. I have no fucking clue who they are. I thought they were both white, but every once in a while, I hear an indian guy speaking, so I don't know if it's two white guys with an indian friend, or an indian guy and a white guy with a white friend. Anyway, the one white guy I'm sure lives there is loud as fuck. From what I can hear, he's always playing some football game with at least one of his friends, and everytime something happens, he yells. What's worse, he's one of those that thinks swearing is cool, so he'll make up various swear words when he yells. HOLYFUCKINGDICKGODSHEEPMANMMIT HOW DID YOU MISS THAT THROW!?

It's annoying, but whatever.

>>7337879
wow, you really think those are all lies? people tend to exaggerate but rarely make up storys unless there is any reason to troll and this thread is not one.

>>7337859
>>7337792
I really wish girls wouldn't come on 4chan, or at least just not post. You're objects... you shouldn't be on here having conversations.

I lived in a shitty room with an asian family when I was homeless and had nowhere else to go, I never left my room.

I kept eating his food while he was fasting, and one day he just said I had to leave. That he was so god damn hungry and when he said make yourself at home apparantely it didn't mean 'eat all the curry'.

So I left, now I live alone in a studio flat, my second flat to myself. I like the privacy, I would like to share with someone at some point though

>>7337765
Are you my fucking roommate?

my senior year of college through a disaster with my off campus housing i got paired with a random roommate for about 2 months. she was a freshman, but allowed into the upperclass dorms because she needed air conditioner for her "severe allergies". she was overweight, had no friends, had a boyfriend still in highschool that she would argue with loudly on her cell phone and would literally sleep/hang out in bed all day. noon, two, six, ten pm, ten am, it didn't matter... she was in bed.i am not exaggerating at all when i say i didn't have a single minute to myself in the room the entire time we lived together. she also ate most of her meals alone in the dorm. i think she was really depressed. she also did hilarious nearly perfect impressions of various celebrities.

So I enroll into one of the local uni. Since our batch weren't getting the offer to stay at the hostel due to renovations (shit excuse), they decided to let some agents to take care of us.

Anyways we lived in a penthouse with 10 people in it. Ten. MOTHERFUCKING TEN. Now lets get this started.

I have two roommates. They were fine, nothing is actually wrong with them except that they hang their wet towel inside the fucking room and wont open the window. The room smells like shit. The only reason I would go in there to sleep, and that is if only I'm really sleepy as fuck. The smell is fucking atrocious.

Now the other seven guys:

1. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with him. He only stay in his room, and only god knows why. Doesn't interact with others. Kinda snobbish too. Everyone else just went 'don't know, don't care' attitude towards him.

2. An ok guy. Likes photography, and a car enthusiast. Probably the most reliable guy in the apartment. I even owe him one for helping me with getting my car fixed.

GODDAMIT ROBOT UNMUTE ME

>>7338205
3. Always stutters, also likes photography. Nice guy, nothing wrong with him actually.

4. This guy however, I don't know how to react with. He's like to chat, going on facebook, playing online games and such. What makes me despises him is, he always say 'bros b4 hos' but the moment he sees a girl that is somewhat attractive, it seems like he's the only one in his own world.

5. Ok guy. He lurks /g/, /sp/, and /jp/ weirdly. You general nerdy weaboo but he's ok. Cool to hang out with actually, but he's a little bit quiet.

6. Best friend. One of the guy you can rely on. I guess I just can't find anything bad about him.

7. An ok guy. He usually the one who cleans up the apartment and the toilet, but as the end of last year, he stopped. Due to...

The faggotry of these people about cleanliness. They cant get the place clean to save their live. Usually guy no.7 would do the cleaning, but after 6 months of only him doing it, I guess he just doesn't give a fuck anymore. The only guy that do clean the house besides him is guy no.6 and 3. And one of the toilet actually stinks, you'd think public toilet is much better than it.

As for me, I'm the guy at the kitchen. I was the only one who actually clean them all up, everything in the kitchen area. And most of time, I am the cook and the guy who is doing the groceries. I don't really bitch, but as a cook, I'd expect you to wash your goddamn dishes. Well, they do wash them dishes, but do I have to remind them all the time?

Thank god I'm now out of that hellhole.

>>7338025

popblocks

My roommate is really fat. Like, really fat. He works two jobs, is middle-aged and closeted gay. (He thinks nobody knows, but pretty much everyone does.) He has no friends as far as I know beyond his family and just watches TV all day when he's not at work. He's really gross when he eats, slurping whatever he drinks really loudly and constantly farting. He's proud of it, too. Announces it and everything. "BRRRT! AAAHHH, OH YEAAAH!" and shit like that.
He also coddles the dog really, REALLY annoyingly. Picks her up and, I shit you not, baby talks to her for like 5 straight minutes. "AWWW MY BABYYYYY! AAHHH! YOU ARE THE SWEETEST DOG! THE SWEETEST BABY!" and goes on and on like that for fucking ever. Drives me insane and won't stop even when I tell him to. The other day he was doing it and I said "enough!" to which he didn't reply and continued his bullshit.
He smokes like a pack a day and does Chi-gong or however the fuck you spell it like it'll make him healthier. Then he eats like a quesadilla every day with a bowl of rice and crackers and shit.
We share the computer, despite it being mine (got a really good deal on it, too. friend of a friend builds computers and he put together this rig for $250) and occasionally gives it viruses by doing stupid shit like opening email attachments from shit he doesn't know and using Internet Explorer. I then spend the next two fucking days undoing the damage and telling him to stop thinking Firefox is the devil because "they use it at work to spy on us".

>>7338267
You also apparently don't speak English as your first language. I'm guessing you're Hispanic or something.

oh hai u guiz still poastin hear

I had a black roommate. Stereotypes applied.

Picture related. The drinks he put in the fridge the first day he moved in.

>>7338540
You're right.

I'm Asian though.

My room mate is fat, like jesuslookatthathambeast fat. She eats everything in the fridge and buys a gallon of ice cream every two or so days and covers it in peanut butter and syrup, not chocolate syrup, PANCAKE syrup. The only thing I normally eat in a day is cheese and crackers, and tea with not sugar and sometimes I'll eat a nice salad with no dressing. She makes fun of me for being an "Skinny GIRL!" and says that no man will ever love me because my skin is too pale and my hair is loo long, or because I am all skin and bones.
One day she saw me slap a little peanut butter and jelly on a piece of bread and she starts screaming at me for eating her food, so I pulled out my ORGANIC peanut butter and slammed it on the table in front of her and left. When I came home I heard her on the phone talking about how much of a bitch I am.
HOW AM I THE BITCH!
Then one time I was working on some stuff for my classes, and she stumbles in drunk and sits down on the couch in the room I was in and PUKES all over like 3 weeks worth of work! The next day I asked her if she could pay for the reprints and she told me no because she didn't think she had done it.
I have never seen her have a real friend and I think she lies about having a boyfriend back home.
I have tons of funny fat stories but i think this thread is dead.

>>7337621
That's exactly what I'm thinking. I don't know who the fuck Robert Downey Jr. is.

I gotta move out. I feel like I'm missing out on this whole room mate thing. Sounds like fun.

>>7338540
Buddy you posted a wall of text, I don't think you know
much more english than him.

>>7338642
You have at least one interested reader, continue please.

>>7338642
I CAN FEEL YOUR FUCKING RAGE

Also post boobies

>>7338642
You have at least TWO interested readers now.

>>7338642
Even though you're a woman and as such, a different species I empathize with your plight and find your story interesting. Please continue.

My roommate freshman year was a Christian Conservative. When I found that out, I dreaded rooming with him, but it turns out, we get along great. We're both laid back, and although he's far right and I'm far left politically, we just never discuss politics.

We're still flatmates two years later.

>>7338642
you deserve it for being a female

>>7337590
fuck year iowa indeed

As for me I've got 3.

1) Guy I've roomed with since freshman year. Used to be cool, played lots of videya and wow with him, but over the last year he's turned into sort of a tool. But he's okay
2) Last year neighbor's boyfriend, while she (the neighbor from last year) is sort of a fifth person since she is over so much. But anyways 2 is pretty chill, hangs out with his gf and plays wow and studys.
3) sits in his room. Sort of alienated him in the beginning, which sucks, but w/e he's sort of a dick tho I still feel a bit bad since I yelled at him when he did some shit that he shouldn't have.
4) 2's gf, not really a roommate but she's there half the time and cooks so it's all good.

Most of the time I'm in the room or living room studying/videyaing and hanging out with 4 since she is usually there whilst 2 plays wow. Or 1, 2, 4, and me are hanging out watching tv or playing mw2.

No horror stories really. I know personally I can suck a bit as a roommate, fapped a lot freshman yea, 1 walked in on me once or twice :(( but I'm not too messy and try to pitch in whenever.

My current roommates are my gf (Love her. She's amazing) and her friend.

Her friend is a 20 year old version of a crazy old spinster cat lady. We (my gf and I) moved into the spare bedroom in her apartment and, from the moment we moved in, the girl treated us like obnoxious house-guests, even though we pay 2/3 of the rent and buy the food and and amenities for the house. She won't let us change the place at all. She bitches when we try to move stuff around or when we try to paint and fix up our room.

She's also a prude. She dislikes the fact that my girlfriend and I have sex and will even go so far as to bitch when we're having a slightly loud makeout session in our room.

Now, my girlfriend and I are very kinky people. When this girl found a riding crop and handcuffs on our bed one day, she flipped out, calling us perverts and screaming at us for "defiling the sanctity of her house."

She's under the notion that it's still her apartment even though we pay most of the rent and practically support the bitch (She's on welfare and food stamps and her brother pays her rent for her). I mean, I get it that she lived there for most of her life, but she seriously needs to learn the concept of rooming with people. She's like a little, troll-looking, blonde nazi who never has any fun besides the fun we force her to have. She has the mentality of a conservative 80 year old woman.

She also flirts with me constantly, which makes my gf very uneasy.

my roommate is the second oldest of 14 children. her computer was running windows 98 when we got here, but one of the guys upstairs managed to install a few things and get it running xp. she's technologically illiterate, not having grown up with computers, video games, and such. she's sweet though, and cooks really good food. she can be a little idiotic sometimes, and i worry about her, but she's pretty cool.

>>7338683
Wait, because I typed a lot I don't know English?

>>7338793
I daww'd.

dawwbloxx

>>7338791
Is she at least a little cute? Get her in on a threeway. Bet that'll make her unclench a bit.

>>7338838

Excessive use of the word "like" and ugly, hasty formatting (i.e. your block prose with quotations haphazardly thrown about) shows that your english is worse than the person you called out.

The only roommates I've had were:
My brother, a fat, lazy guy that sits around all day on the computer or xbox when he isn't at work.
And my boyfriend, a couple of faggots are we. Doing gay things all day, never eating, sleeping or breathing.

I've had 3 shitty room mates since living in this apartment.

we moved in here initially with a friend, bumping him from a studio to a two bedroom. i've lived here with my girlfriend the whole time over the last year (so far, 6 months more to go)

roommate #1
>was pretty ok, one of my oldest friends. except, ex-fucking-cept, he was playing super smash brothers competitively. it was fucking annoying. and when it wasn't that, it was WOW. i don't understand why people just don't wear headphones when you have other people around. me and him are still good friends, but he left to move in with his old girlfriend, and now may be coming back, which is a fucking relief to the other shit we've had.

roommate #2
drug addict, tweeker, bringing fucking dopeheads to our place, drove our cars when we were out of town, fucked up our shit. kicked him out, kept a lot of his shit for rent he never paid, and told him to fuck off.

roommate #3

army vet faggot who just smokes weed all day, grows mushrooms in his closet, doesn't give a fuck about what others want, blasts bass all night long, makes fucking noise all the time, stomps everywhere. never listens when asks you something, thick headed stoner piece of shit. kicked him out for sure. fucking faggot wants to kick my ass still.

>>7338873
Hey, if I could use parenthesis in real life I would. I love them and you can't take them away from me.

>>7338900
>>7338873
>>7338838
>>7338683
Chill down bros. I'm enjoying this thread atm.

>>7338695
>>7338688
>>7338703
The best one I tell most often is the time she brought home some random fat guy. This guy was about 5'6 and had to weight about 300 lbs, she pranced in drunk, and told me 'We are going in my room, so PLEASE don't come knocking" I laughed and went back to my work when I head her talking in the other room, I try to ignore her until shit gets really loud. I herd her tell him to stop or slow down and then she SCREAMS! like not an "OOOH GOD YES" scream but a "JESUS STOP!" kind of thing, and then I hear nothing, so I knock on the door and open it to see if she is okay (_-_) and I see her COVERED in some weird mix of semen and chocolate sauce, and the man she brought home was laying down dead silent in her bed.
Best memory ever.

>>7338791
You should move out! That sounds really bad and you have the upper hand, so prove it.

>>7338994

Real or not, that's pretty damn funny.

>>7338994
People never cease to amaze me.

>>7337052

Me and my bestfriend moved in to an apartment together two years ago as we both got into the same university. We were friends since kindergarten, she's a little chubby and really self-conscience, she's never had a boyfriend. Her comic book collection dwarfs mine, not surprisingly she initially got me interested in comics. She loves technology, which is awesome for me as it all sits in the lounge room. She doesn't touch any alcohol though, which I feel bad about because I don't drink because of my religion and it must have caused her to not drink herself. She's the most awesome person I know, a female version of me.

>>7338994
Oh god, it hurts just to think about.

>>7339134
Dude, date her. She sounds like a catch.

>>7339030
>>7339053
I had the flu last year and didn't clean up the house for about a week, and when I was filling better I began cleaning everything with a vengeance, I was throwing her shit into her room and I found MY flash drive laying in the floor,I picked it up angrily and took it back to my room. Just a few days ago she was going on and on about how she had lost her flash drive ect. I asked her what it looked like and she told me, it sounded exactly like mine and then she added "It looks like it has a sticker pulled off of it." That sticker, that fucking stick had once read "Physical Chemistry' and I raged and pulled it out of my pocket, she got mad and asked why I had been in her room ect. eventually she stormed off, when I plugged it into my computer there was this weird folder on it holding about 15 pictures of her pleasing herself with a carrot. I made a collage and used it as my desktop background.

>>7339159

Every now and then I become attracted to her and then it dwindles off as I can't date her as she's not a Quaker. My parents would be very disappointed if I was dating her, even though the Quaker population of my city is roughly thirty people.

>>7339191
That's fucking great. Please, upload the wallpaper!

>>7339191

picsbloxxxxers

Also bumping probably dead thread

>>7339193
WHAT THE FUCK. QUAKER?

YOU'D BETTER MEAN LIKE THE VIDYA, SON, OR YOU ARE GOING TO HELL FOR EVEN BEING ON THIS SITE.

>>7338857
She's actually suggested it, in a roundabout way, the last time we got her drunk.

Thing is, I don't find her remotely attractive. I mean, she has a nice body (DD tits, nice ass), but her face leaves much to be desired and her hygiene habits and personality make her very unattractive to me.

My girlfriend and I joke about it often, seeing as both she and I are bisexual and very open-minded. However, she is also not attracted to this girl in any way, so a threesome is completely out of the picture.

She's gross and, from what I hear, she has a very ugly and dirty vag as well. Do not want.

>>7339193

News flash: 30 Quakers in one city is quite fucking impressive. Quakers haven't propagated well over the years, in case you haven't noticed.

>>7339193
What? Quaker? What the fuck, dude. Fuck that, date her or you're going to regret it for the rest of your life. What if some asshole scoops her up and breaks her heart?

my roommate always had his phone set to alarm at random hours. He'd never wake up to it, but I would. So I'd have to yell at him to wake up, then sometimes he'd just snooze it and sleep through it again after 10 minutes. Sometimes he'd wake up to the alarm and go take a shower, never having turned it off completely. So I'd be there in my bunk bed, and his phone would be on his top bunk bed and it'd be going. So I'd have to climb out of bed, climb up his, and turn it off. Really annoying

>>7339252

The only thing that Quakers universally oppose is violence. I don't even believe in hell anyway, neither does my family, there are a few people in our meeting house that believe in it, but they're very old.

>>7339245
>>7339242
This is all I have left, the actual wallpaper got deleted, last but not least another great story!
One time I had my boyfriend over and we where having sex. Now this never happens because he hates that fat cunt, but he was drunk couldn't drive home ect. so we where going at it, and she slams something into the wall of my room from the living room. He gets really mad and stomps out of the room ass naked and screams at her and he swears that when he entered the living room she was sitting next to the wall with her hand down her pants fingering herself to us having sex. She hasn't spoken to me since, but when ever I go into my room with him I always make sure to take the chocolate syrup out and slam in onto the table.
I'm moving out in March and the only reason she hasn't left yet is because she doesn't want to fuck her credit up. He mother hates me and when ever she is over always makes sure to talk about (loudly) how much of a mistake it was rooming with someone she didn't know, and having to deal with all of there "mental health issues"

>>7339307
Sounds like you're just making up excuses because you're scared or someshit. Fuck it, dude, family is one thing, but this could be the best thing that you ever do. They'd get over it eventually.

>>7339273
Where we used to live there were roughly 15,000, out of a population of just over 120,000.

>>7339301
I have no fucking idea... It would be much easier if parents would leave their kids alone about relationships.

>>7339377
Like I said, fuck em. They don't like it, tough shit, it's your life not theirs. Go for the gold, bro.

>>7339333
You and your boyfriend sound awesome.
>>7339338
Yeah, I'm scared. I would really hurt my parents, my sister decided when she was younger that she didn't believe in it and that really hurt them... And if I don't keep the belief, it would destroy my mother.

>>7339456
If they love you, they'll understand. If they don't, they're just trying to force their views on you. Explain to them what you want and how it's important to you.

>>7339405
She'll be home in five, I don't want her to see this, she goes on 4chan...

>>7338642
I'll love you because you're pale and because you have long hair. Also because you're just skin and bones!

>>7339487
THEN BE A GODDAMN MAN AND TELL HER, FUUUUUUUUUCK!

I live with three Christian guys. One is a wad, another one is OK, and the third guy thinks I'm his friend.

They always have their little Christian get-togethers here, oftentimes without my prior knowledge really. They're big in the local pocket of the Intervarsity Christian Fellowship aka a cult.

They don't clean for shit either.

>>7339604
Burst in on their gatherings blaring Slayer and covered in fake blood, headbanging like a motherfucker.

>>7339604

Convert to radical Islam.

>>7339619

Dude... I just might do that close to the end of the semester.

xcGVfagadfgdfgadfgd

>>7339669
I demand you make a video of this.

>>7339669

So it's a school dorm?