Someone is dead.

They found the body but don't know it's me yet.

Traced my IP?

>>7169428
Pretty much this.

I couldn't imagine anything else.

Though, in the back of my mind, I'll be thinking about the jailbait on the comp and the sprinkles of what could be CP.

"If this is another male stripper, I'm going to kill my friends"

they dug up the little bones and baby shoes in the ravine.

>>7169451
>>7169434
>>7169428

/r9k/ in a fucking nutshell.

BADGE. FBI AGENT.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck hwo do I trash my hd wihout him noticing.

my sister has been killed/hurt orbeen in a car accident or something

They connected the hit back to me.

>>7169466
Just your sister? What are you, some kind of faggot?

ive been framed for murder by that sociopath guy who keeps hassling me

Either of my brothers, who are 17-year-old twins and just learned to drive, have wrecked the car and died.

:(

PLEASE TELL ME THE FUCKER DIED. PLEASE.

Who died?

I'm a ma'am, what an asshole.

>>7169476
i was best friends with my sister before she died. i can relate to this guy.

>>7169486
I sincerely doubt that you'd be thinking that pussy shit.

>>7169507
I'm sorry about your loss.

I take it back. I'm sorry.

>>7169420
Oddly enough, I do plan on reformatting my computer tonight for the Windows 7 I bought recently.

I would be confused as to why he's referring to me as a man, and then maybe a little self-conscious.

That aside, I'd guess it'd be something about my sister, who's going to school in the next town over. Probably that she got into a car accident and died or something - she's a pretty shitty driver.

>>7169465
>>7169465
>>7169465
This


fbicpjailbaitblox

>>7169524
>Implying formatting deletes data.

>>7169543
It doesn't?

Oh, fuck me.

At least, that's what going to happen if I'm ever found out.

Oh shit i did something, oh shit someone's dead

im sorry i took the grape from the supermarket

>>7169552

No it doesn't

theres a very easy way to make sure old data gets deleted but I dont want you to lose out on the fun

Formatting is for idiots. You want to be fucking sure. External HDD + Microwave on High 10 seconds.

I've never had to purposely remove data, but a high power magnet on the HDD should remove it.

>>7169543
It should erase everything on the hard drive in order to adjust for a new partition or OS. At least every time I format an HDD everything is gone, literally, except for some forensic traces.

>>7169613

>Implying you possess a high powered magnet.

>>7169543
Don't use Linux then, dude.

they know about my CP!

>>7169420

"I really want to hear what the police officer's news are, but first I need to see who's at the door."

Then I'd probably wonder what an officer is doing inside of my house.

FUCK IT WAS TWO YEARS AGO I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING ;_; why is she pressing charges now?

>>7169579
I...I--I have to go. Now. I have to go now. Excuse me.

>>7169593
You said External HDD? Best Buy should have some.

They suspect me of murder, even though I have done nothing. I'm awake during strange hours, have no alibi, and am generally described by others as creepy. I suppose it could just be my paranoia driving me to think I'd actually be accused of this, I guess.

>>7169629
By "high powered magnet", I mean anything stronger than a fridge magnet.

>>7169629
Seriously, why would you own a high power magnet for reasons other than to wipe out hard drives?

"Gain the information first before saying anything stupid."

Relief. If the police are knocking at my door, then it's probably not about a person I truly care about.

It could only mean one thing, that my mum was shot. So I'd become a vigilante. The NeckBeard. Part neck, part beard, all man.

>>7169640

>Best Buy

LOL

>>7169650
Oh, I think I might have those left over from my old physics courses.

>>7169690
*punch* You don't talk shit about BestBuy, they're great when I need decent HDMI cables on the spot!

>>7169677
/r/ artist rendition

>>7169712
if you're paying more than 40$ for an HDMI cable, you're paying too much.

"Neighbour died? Awesome!"

>>7169677
>neckbeard
>all man
My ability to keep a straight face has decreased.

>>7169712

Again why would you pay their prices?

www.newegg.com

>>7169733
Ah ha! I paid $30! *sticks tongue*

[On a related note, Microsoft prices their 360's HDMI cable at $50]

>>7169753
'Cause I'm not a poor person like you are apparently.

>>7169733
>uses dollar-sign after number
You're either illiterate, or a Eurofag.

>>7169765

fembot or faggot detected

>>7169724
mewtblawx12

1. Mom Dead
2. Cat Dead
3. Boyfriend Dead (Why they would come to MY house is beyond me, but I'd still think it.)
4. Dad Dead. Celebration ensues.
5. Male Stripper. Celebration ensues.

>>7169579
>implying that a single overwrite isn't sufficient to obscure data from all but the most intensive of searches

Protip: The FBI doesn't care enough to take your harddrive into a clean room and go over it with an STM. That's NSA-level shit, for matters of national security.

You are not a matter of national security.

"O shit, gotta hide my cp!"

Which is weird, cuz I don't even have CP...wtf have you done to me, 4chan?!

>>7169872
But if I wore a turban when they came over to my house, would I then be a matter of nation security?

>>7169524
http://www.killdisk.com/downloadfree.htm

Download ISO after backing up data. Run 0s though your drive. (may take a few hours)

Congrats. Clean. Now install OS of choice.

>>7169872
>Implying it doesn't take about 5 minutes to set up a program and leaving it alone for 10 hours to uncover the data.

>>7169420

THEY GONNA SEARCH MAH BASEMENT

Good thing I have this computer-destroying sledgehammer in a glass case that says "Break in case of the police" suspended on the wall for just such an occasion.

Either that or I make my way into the backyard as swiftly as possible through the screen door and jet my ass over the fence and to the train station.

>>7169428
I still remember when this happened and it was the officer telling my dad that his father had died. I was 7 at the time. Still remember that shit.

This happened to my boyfriend. He called me crying saying that men in black were at the door, and telling me he wasn't a bad person, and he wouldn't survive in jail. They turned out to be Jehova's Witnesses.

I still don't know what was on the computer. Could be CP, but I'd have a hard time believing he's a pedophile since I'm 4 years older than he is, taller, hourglass, and he gets a boner just from hugging me. Rather I'd be the more likely pedophile in this case. Oh well.

"They know about the bribes? FUCK!"

since when did i have a door

>>7170108
... Sarah?
isthatyoublox

>>7170136
Not even close. But lol.

OH GOD WHO COULD BE DEAD OH GOD
OH FUCK DO THEY KNOW I'VE BEEN TALKING TO THAT TWELVE YEAR OLD GIRL? IT HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN SEXUAL YET, SHIT
OH FUCK WHAT IF THEY SEARCH MY COMPUTER, I GOT ENOUGH JAILBAIT/CP TO CATCH MOTHERFUCKING ALCATRAZ, SHIT
SHIT OKAY CALM DOWN, -AHEM-

What seems to be the problem, officer?

"She finally snapped and called you guys, huh?"

Recently I had this sort of friendship with a 16-year-old girl going to my old high school (I turn 20 in spring). And she really liked the shit of me, but I didn't make any further moves on her because the age of consent is 18, and her mother is super Catholic and abuses her children. Anyhow, we got into an argument back in November that ended the friendship, and that was the last time I ever talked to her or even seen her.