I find myself acting all the time. To my friends and people I work with, I'm a happy go-lucky, easy-going guy without a care in the world. Only my closest friend knows I have problems, and even he thinks they're starting to dissipate.

The girls I work with are treating me in this way I can only describe as "ignorant but well-meaning patronization". I'm short, you see (5'1) and so the girls I work with treat me like a child. I came into work one day wearing some clothes I just bought. I was trying out a new style that actually made it look like I put effort into myself, as opposed to the usual t-shirt and jeans. I was told by one of the girls there that I looked "cute". I know what you're thinking, thats a good thing right? Wrong. Not as if you'd be able to tell from the text here, but the way they said and meant the word "cute" has haunted me my whole life. They say it the exact same way they'd say it if they were talking to a 6 year old kid in a halloween costume. It's almost like they said "Oh, look at that! He thinks he's a real person! Aww, that's cute".

The whole problem is that it was probably said to me in pure intention, so I'd be a dick to call them out on it. That's not even the only example. 3 of the girls there now call me their "secret boyfriend" and pretend to fight over me. It's like I'm an ongoing joke, but no one's joking. I can't explain it any better than that.

My height simply causes people to treat me like a child, and that's posed a huge problem for me when it comes to women.

The height factor is simply among other things. I wasn't kidding about the having no real talent stuff. I'm spiraling, /r9k/, and I don't know how to pull out. I've been trying to find ways to stay happy, and each time it fails.

I really just needed to vent, but I'd also really like to hear what people think. For some reason, I want to hear criticism, pity, empathy, something.

>>6142113
>>6142111

Excuse the wall of text.

>>6142111

Hmm, I dunno what's worse. I have plenty of talents, but no passion.

Where you at least have the excuse of saying "So what if I do nothing with my life? There was nothing for me to do to begin with!", I need to justify why I'm letting everyone down by doing nothing.

There's nothing quite as soulcrushing as the weight of the world's expectations on the shoulders of one who has no desire to bear them.

You don't pull out, you continue until something life-changing happens or until you die.

No different from thousands of other human beings.

Write this down and hand it to one of the girls from work as you leave.

MAKE YOUR DEPRESSION THEIRS! :3

>>6142113
Haha, you remind me of this kid I used to know. We all called him the wee-man.

You should uh.

You should visit a shrink.

You sound depressed. Even though you're terrible at sports, try some physical activity. It'll occupy some of your time, take your mind off of things, and help you lose some weight.

If you'd like women to change their attitudes towards you, you're going to be disappointed. The best you can do is have confidence and self-respect, project that, and not care about how these assuming, condescending bitches are acting towards you. With your current mentality, there's no way you'll be able to think that way overnight, but you can think about it the next time someone talks down to you.

It's okay not to have anything that you're remarkable at, but I think that it would do you some good to give other things a try. Go thrill-seeking, or force yourself to learn something new. Get a pet, train it. Do something that you can get some satisfaction just from saying that you did it.

I hope you feel better soon. Apathy is terrible.

>>6142143

That reminds me. Everyone seems to think I have an amazing talent with people. Like I can understand relationships really well. How the fuck can that be true if I've never been in one? People say I'm such an amazingly nice guy, but I've only ever been acting nice. I feel as if I don't feel emotion.

Like, at work I'm known as one of the nicest guys on the planet because I go to great lengths to help people. Like, I've taken 10 and 12 hour shifts when asked, and driven people home. Last week I had a fever that I later found out was 102 degrees. During that, I did a 7 hour shift, and drove someone home in my car in the cold, and the heat's broken in my car. No one even knew I was sick because I didn't complain about it. Or a few weeks earlier I burnt the shit out of my arm on the fryer (yeah, I work at Wendy's) and figured that it didn't hurt much so I just continued working. About a half hour later one of my female managers close to my age was saying I should have told her about it and whatnot, because she saw the marks that had appeared.

The only reason I do any of these things though is because I care so little about my own well being that I feel its my responsibility to not ruin anyone else's day because of my personal problems. All of the shit I do stems from not bringing anyone down with me.

fuck one and dont call them back

>>6142214
>I work at Wendy's
WELL THUR'S YER PROBLEHM

>>6142205
This man knows his shit.

amateurpsychologyblox

>>6142125
No. You are not excused. Fuck you and stop wasting my time.

>>6142205

I have recently been trying to get in shape. I've been told that I have a fairly muscular body, especially considering I've been basically lethargic for about 2 years. I tried getting into a pattern, but got swine flu and got thrown off. When I'm back at full strength I'll try again. But I don't count on my willpower enough to maintain it very long.

>>6142214
I understand relationships really well too. I've never been in one. The relationship advice I give to people blows their minds. I understand and help fix all sorts of relationshit problems my friends have. They really respect me for it.
I just hope that skill carries over into relationships I have.

>>6142233

Seems you have plenty of time to waste, considering you're trolling r9k

>>6142205
I would agree with this man.

Although, OP, it sounds like you'd be much better off talking to somebody in person, whether they're an actual friend or a psychologist.

With regards to how people treat you as a joke, I honestly have no advice for you, I can just offer my sympathy. I know what it's like to be the "cute" innocent-guy, but I'm not in the same situation as you and I can't tell you how to get out of it.

For starters, find SOMETHING that you can occupy your time with. It sounds like you're giving up because you can't excel in anything -- Fuck excelling. Find something that you ENJOY, and be damned about whether you're good at it.

Example, you might pick up something like Bowling, and you might never get a strike -- But if you enjoy it (even somewhat), then DON'T QUIT. Have fun regardless of how well you do.

Really you just need to find your niche. Your priority should be something that entertains you, how good you actually are at it is trivial.

>The girls I work with
>I work at Wendy's

of course it's not going to be a bastion of intellectualism and maturity

find a real job man

>>6142263

Have you been told by basically every girl you've met that you'd make amazing boyfriend material too? I've been told by girls that had they been single/younger/looking that they'd go after me. But of course, the ones that are single and my age don't seem to notice. How can I be told by everyone I meet that I'm the perfect nice guy and "Mr. Right" and yet never be right for anyone?

>>6142263

It wont dude, sorry. I was that guy with relationship advice before and while I had a girlfriend and let me tell you, its hard as hell to take your own advice. BUT. You'd probably make a good marriage therapist or something, thats what I'm trying to do basically because other peoples relationships seem to be the only thing I understand.

>>6142214

You'll find it's surprisingly common for people to live their life merely to avoid disappointing other people.

It's certainly been what has kept me from simply letting myself die on numerous occasions.

> I feel as if I don't feel emotion.

Well, you felt that, so it's a start.

>>6142281

I was reluctant to say where I worked because of the response I'd get. I'm 18, and I'm working at Wendy's for a year until next September when I go to University. It's not really a job a person my age needs to be ashamed of necessarily.

And a fast food place doesn't mean the only people there are complete retards. Yeah sure, the few weird ones who are 50 and have been there for 25 years fit the bill, but the 19 and 20 year old ones working there while they're in college? Not really.

What the fuck do you need a "thing" for ?

You've got a personality, just stop being such a sad fuck. Really, no one wants to be with someone who is only going to make them miserable :|

Also, forget about not having experience with the opposite sex. As long as you know how to kiss and eat her out really well, you'll be fine. Just use your brain man.

You might want to start dressing better though. Maybe visit /fa/. For the love of god, don't post there though.

>>6142287
Yup. Story of my life. I stopped worrying about it though. I enjoy being alone now.

>>6142302
Damn. I figured as much. The unbaised outside view is gone once I get into a relationship.

>>6142329

Sorry to clear up any confusion, when I said " I came into work one day wearing some clothes I just bought. I was trying out a new style that actually made it look like I put effort into myself, as opposed to the usual t-shirt and jeans." I meant to say that I've changed my style. That's the kind of stuff I wear now, like undershirt + button up overshirt/dress shirt etc

>>6142329
/fa/ is great for GUIDELINES
Do NOT follow them exactly

>>6142305

Arguably, I feel as if I'm suppressing emotion, which is an emotion in of itself. Either way, not fun.

>>6142361

Nah, the outside view is still perfectly fine if your in a relationship. Because if your helping someone out its not your relationship you are worrying about, its theirs. But as far as applying what you tell other people is the right thing to do to your relationship, emotions will definitely get in the way.

OP, your post bothers me because I could have written it. I understand what you're going through because I'm going through it right now, as well.

Good luck, I guess.

You're trying to define yourself by your surroundings. You feel worthless, untalented, and instead of finding your own identity and coming to terms with your flaws, overcoming them, you look outside of yourself and complain about a lack of drive and emotion.

Feels bad, doesn't it?

>>6142365
I was mocked when I started dressing better. Once my style became constant, I started getting real compliments.

Guys especially hated it when I started dressing better. Their girlfriends would compliment me and criticize their them. Good fashion will attract girls and drive away non fashionable guys. After a while the guys will start to treat you normal again. Girls will still treat you better than before. Win-win in the end.

>>6142420

Hard to come to terms with your flaws when you're convinced through past experience and personal observation that nearly everything you do is flawed and you have no redeeming factors like talents or a good personality.

OP -- stop being exactly like me and having the exact same life experience.

who cares

op seems like an awesome guy

op, youre a cool guy. youve made out with a girl!

give me a high five! up high! down low! both hands! too slow...

:D

>>6142454

Your shameless childishness amuses me. :D

Sounds to me like you're afraid of failure. You aren't grabbing life by the balls hard enough. No one gives a shit if you're 5'1" if you fuck like a horse.

Just be yourself bro. Quit acting. Stop caring about what people think. Actually TRY something for once. Actually TRY asking the girl out at work. Actually TRY some sort of sport and just not give a fuck about how good you are, if people see you...fuck it, man, just live man. Just live.

Hey OP, guess what.

You're not even you, you're a brain in a skull looking out through two little eye things making fleshy hands move around on a keyboard and it's all completely meaningless. Everything you've ever learned and experienced in your life is just a consensus reality that wouldn't even exist independently without people reassuring you that it did.

Now you can either kill yourself or find a reason to enjoy life.

Hey OP! A wise dude once said "Every great talent can be learned."

Pick something you like, work crazy hard at it. After long hard work, you will be good at it. It will become easy for you. People will say "Hey, you're a natural at [insert skill here]. I wish I had that talent." Only you will know how much work it took.

>>6142446
Yes, but if you don't like yourself, how can anyone else? You're setting yourself up for catastrophe in any future relationship.

speakingfromexperienceblox

>>6142447

Like you are seriously creeping me out, go back in time and have a different past.

>>6142111

Throw in that Linkin Park and close your eyes.
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN

>>6142263
>>6142407
>>6142447

I notice a lot of people have the same problem as me. Not only in this thread of course but posted all over r9k for months now. At the same time though, I've never seen anyone personally or IRL that has had even social problems let alone the same problems as me. How come I never see these people in my own life? Is it because they're recessed like me?

>>6142466

thanks, it makes me happy too :3

are you op? do you need someone to talk to? heck it doesnt matter if youre op or not

>>6142500
We all have problems. Some people hide it better than others, but we're ALL hiding something. Consider yourself lucky if you ever get to see someone really be themselves.

This is why I love anonymity so much.

>>6142478
Oh no, not this shit again. Self-esteem is no way to judge people, and it should be quite obvious. Any asshole can be proud of himself, and great guys can be depressed. I'm really fucking tired of hearing that "nobody can love you if you don't love yourself", it doesn't make any sense at all. Many of my friends are depressed and have low self-esteem, but I still like them because I know that they're pretty cool guys.

Get an identity like the rest of generation Y using brands, music, the way you dress, etc.

There was never a "meaning" in life. Your life is meaningless already, now you have to find some stupid reason for you to live it.

Money, women, etc..take your pick. It doesn't matter.

>>6142474
>>6142472

These kinds of responses tell me something about myself. I have a sincere reluctance to break out of this position (which I'm fucking talking about looking for self-help for). When someone tells me something like this, I naturally feel as if I need to prove them wrong. I understand this loop I'm in so completely yet I can't stop thinking this way. Let me break it down.

1. A person tells me to stop being sad because I need to make life happen.
2. I naturally think of ways that I can't make life happen, and/or why that person is retarded.
3. I seek reasons that are not fixable, like being short, or people generally being dicks or what have you
4. Because its not my fault, I don't have to change.

I see the flaw in this way of thinking, but I honestly have been trying for two solid years since I've figured this out to just live life, grab life by the horns but I fucking can't for some goddamn reason I can't figure out. It's like I WANT to be fucked and just suck in pity for the rest of my life or something.

FUCK, saying that felt good. I've needed to say that for a while, anon or not.

>>6142365
Haha, thats not very fashionable.

>>6142561
thats just an excuse girls use

>>6142579

Fair enough. I have an Italian body type, but do everything in my power to avoid looking like a guido.

You and I are alike OP, except I'm 19 and 6'3. I did the same thing as you, btw - worked at a fast food joint before going to college, and got stuck with female coworkers who were patronizing more than anything. I can sympathize with how annoying that gets.

Let me also say that you aren't missing out on much because of the height thing - it only creates a new problem. Instead of people patronizing you for your height, people will initially give you what amounts to 'fake respect' for your stature, which rapidly disappears. At any rate, it looks like the two of us are stuck. I'm going to stick around this thread, but let me just say don't go to /fa/ for fashion advice - go to somethingawful's "watch and weight" subforum and look for the male fashion advice threads. They've got their shit down for the most part.

>>6142561
It doesn't matter how many people love you if you hate yourself. It is of no consequence what another person's opinion of you is when you have a shitty mentality that needs fixing. I'm not saying that this applies to your garden-variety asshole. I'm talking about people that are absolutely miserable with their own company.

>>6142619

Thanks, will do. About the patronizing bullshit, its that it's ongoing. Whats even more ridiculous is one of my managers is a legal midget and shorter than me, and she's one of the ones that patronizes me as a little nice guy. Feels bad man.

Well, I'm off to bed all. Thanks for the responses.

>>6142651
Don't you ever feel like the worst of it is that if you told someone to stop, it would almost be like you're acknowledging their comments as true? It's like you're fucked no matter what.

>>6142638
Even people who absolutely hate themselves can be liked by someone else. For example, they can be excellent at faking happiness in public. Saying that people won't like you if you don't like yourself is just absurd.