i once stole a doorstop from a dollar store. hahaha joke's on them, fuckers. now they can't keep their door open.

I'd been riding all day and was tired as fuck so I rolled up into Tesco to park my bike and get a Fanta or two (one for the journey back and one for the fridge.)

I get to the cooler, take two out, open one and start drinking.

I fumble around in my pocket for the required cash on my way to the counter and realise I don't have it. So I do a swift 180 and start pretending like I'm looking for something. I casually drop the unopened Fanta behind some discount Tangos and keep it moving with the opened one in my hand.

I used to shoplift alot and I realised the boldest approach normally worked, so I just walked out the front door with the Fanta, and walked back to my bike.

Waiting at my bike, was a 6ft3 Nigerian man in full security garb, holding my unopened Fanta and staring at me without even blinking.

Long story short, I'm banned from Tesco for 4 months.

i used to steal packs of baseball,basketball,magic, and pokemon cards from target when i was younger. It must have been a couple of hundred dollars worth(at the time) of cards

kids at school were jealous at my collections :]

I went to Superstore a couple days ago, bagged and twist-tied a bunch of bulk nuts, candy, cookies, popcorn, etc and put it in my backpack.

Sometimes I go down there in the morning and walk around eating grapes and nuts and shit for breakfast. I got caught and asked to leave once but I just came back a week later.

>>5773695
B-B-B-BUSTED

mbk

>>5773695 Waiting at my bike, was a 6ft3 Nigerian man in full security garb, holding my unopened Fanta and staring at me without even blinking.

Seems he was bolder than you. Enjoy your stolen bike.

>>5773606

Pen knife. Make a small incision and remove the tag. It's easy to sew up when you get home.

>>5773735

Nah, Kohl's and whatnot use these older devices that when you press away from the tab it releases them. Just need to pairs of pliers. OP is referring to the ones that are square and gray.

>>5773725
I don't think you get it.

They'd been actively watching me on CCTV once I started drinking (apparently as soon as I opened it they'd got someone onto the cameras).

He then took me back inside and offered me a ban or to deal with the police.

What does this have to do with a stolen bike I rode home that day, what?

This one time I was going to meet some friends, but my jacket was dirty. So I went into the store I got it from, picked up the same jacket it and just put it on over the old one and walked out

I used to work at this bookstore with a lot of really nice bookbags. The manager of the place was really condescending and treated the employees like shit, and also was a pretty huge douche to the customers. She pretty much embodied everything I hate. On the way out one day, I casually picked up one of the more expensive bookbags, slung it around my shoulder, and walked out of the store with it.
Not only did no one notice me doing it, no ever noticed that it was missing or took inventory of those bags or whatever. I'm glad I didn't pay for it, for a $50 bag it wasn't very good. The fabric wore down and tore over the course of a few months, and the buttons pretty much fell right off.
I'm not really proud of myself or anything, that was a few years ago and in retrospect it was a childish thing to do. But on the other hand, one of my co-workers told me: "everyone steals shit from here, and it comes out of [the bitchy manager's] pocket," so I don't really feel guilty about it either.

you know a friend of my brother would steal beer from a grocery
do you want to know how he did it?
well he would grab the cases of beers... and then walk out the store,
he did this every weekend for several months before getting caught,
im not sure why it took them that long to wise up to him but whatever.

>>5773735

Also, when it comes to clothing theft;
Women ftw.

If you're a woman you can get away with toting around a ridiculously enormous bag, and even bring it in the dressing room with you without so much as a comment from the staff. Bring Pen knifes, Pliers, Space Saver bags... you can get about 2k worth of clothing items in one 15 min trip.

The food court at my college has it so you take your food off the various counters and don't pay until you get to the line of registers at the end, and the whole room is all angled so no one can really see what you're doing or where you go if you walk from one end of the room to the other. Sometimes when I'm broke I just walk in, grab a sandwich, wander around a bit like I'm looking for something else to buy, and then just walk out the way I came in. Makes it look like I already payed for the sandwich and just came back for a drink or something but couldn't decide on one. Plus no one cares.

>>5773606
Wearing a sign like that would be considered a badge of honor, as far as I'm concerned. I'd buy that bitch a beer

>>5773792

Just remember that tools turn a shoplifting misdemeanor into a felony because of "premeditated conspiracy" or some shit.

Be careful, be confident, and act normal.

What's the deal with OP pic? Last I knew, wal-mart let you keep everything you stole if it was your first offense, and called the police if you had a history.

Stole a pack of Cotton Candy Bubblicious Bubblegum from a shop when I was about 6. I fucking booked it once I got out of there and I was sweating bullets the whole run to my friend's house.

I've probably shoplifted other times than that, but that is the one I'll always remember.

my stolen list reads like a MISC inventory from fallout 3:

balloons
shoelaces
lube
display sign

>>5773886
Hell no. Walmart is hardcore when it comes to stealing shit... well, at least mine is... I work at a super center in Iowa and we have two undercover cops walking the store. They've tackled people before and even if you're a minor, they always call the cops.

>>5773886
>wal-mart let you keep everything you stole if it was your first offense

Wait, what?

It started as candy and crap
moved up to clothes and knick knacks
moved up to stereos and crap from sharper image, sears
1k espresso machine from Starbucks

OH OMG i totally forgot, i used to work at this restaurant and i had this trick of stealing old peoples credit cards. When they would come up to pay their bill at the register, instead of handing them the CC back with the receipt, I would just hand back the receipt ( this was only if they had put their wallets away already, some would stand there with their wallet open, those ones you had to give the cad back) tell them i need their John Hancock and to have a nice day. I would then pocket the credit card and while these senior citizens would go home and go for a nap, i would go on a shopping spree. It only lasted a day, and macys doesnt allow the easy card swipe anymore, you have to know a pin#

got about 20k worth of clothes that way, they are all pretty much gone or garbage now, but i really dont care i just get off on the act anyway.

If youre a girl, you have access to any dress or skirt which has a slip. the lock tags usually go on the slip because they dont want to damage the clothes. A lot of the times the manequins will have untagged clothing on them too.

I walked out of Macys with a pair of 700 boots last year. pic related

only been arrested once and it was becuase i was stupid and didnt leave the area quick enough, but i blame that on the oxycotin and xanax. I only got fined 200 bucks for 4th degree larceny, 4oz of pot, possession of controlled substance. plus the cops were hot and they got me all hot by telling me stories where they beat up crazy chicks. it was pretty fucking entertaining if i do say so myself.

pic related. boots are fab.

I just take candy like twix, starburst... lol

>>5774069
I'd fuck your crazy klepto ass based solely off these boots

>>5774069

Eh, I can't really say I have morals because I am notorious for shoplifting everything I see in sight, but I feel stealing from individuals is a bit too far.

I mean, corporations write off shoplifting with insurance and have special accounts set up for their losses. People do not. We are the bottom 2% of asset liability for businesses; people have a lot more heartache when dealing with this.

Just sayin'.

I need to start stealing books like a motherfucker. mostly just one weird stint when I went to Paris of random compulsive shoplifting.

>>5774108

anyone who has a credit card can report it stolen, get the money back. its no sweat off their back, except a phone call.

otherwise, i completely agree. I would NEVER stel from someones home.

The closest I got to doing that shit was when I was five. My mother and I were halfway to home from a mall when she noticed I was carrying an inflatable ball I didn't even realize I was still clutching. I'm an angel

>>5774069

Gah damn, I have never been so turned on before by the internet in my life.

I assure you I'm a pretty fit and decent looking guy, you wanna fuck tonight?

When I was ten, my mother and I visited a plant nursery to buy flowers for our garden.

I plucked an orange from one of the small potted oranged trees and ate it on the way out; my mother grabbed me, slapped me, and dragged my back into the nursery to apologise to the owner. His reaction was 'uh, ok, it's no problem'.

;_; I hate my mother.

Countless packs of gum, several packs of Pokemon cards, and Hamlet 2 on DVD. Those are all the things I've taken from Wal Mart in the last year. The DVD was interesting. I deactivated the alarm sensor because there was nobody at the electronics desk. The cashier at the front saw the dvd, but must have figured it would be funnier to watch me set off the alarm. I really wish I could have seen his face when I didn't...

I have also stolen army men from the dollar store. There is no reason to any of this. I am 19 and really could go without everything I have taken, but it's become a compulsion I suppose. I never steal things from work though.

I used to live off stealing food from stores. You just need to have some balls to actually do it, and be prepared to do the time if you get caught. Act like the badass you are and noone will be the wiser.

I walk into my university's book store, get a textbook I need from the shelf and then go sit in the reading area. I take out of a bunch of homework and "study"/read for a while, like 30 minutes, then put everything into my backpack as if it were mine and walk away. As long as you look confident, it's yours. And no one pays attention to a studying student for 30 minutes for potential shoplifting. and it helps being a studious looking, cute azn girl :3

saw seat cover for mah car.... friggin $20 for ONE... put two in one box :D lol'd

>>5774300

Nice try, but azns aren't cute. l2white.

>>5774069
Wait wait wait, as the other men of r9k, I am aroused by your post. But I have to ask, what's the story behind the starbucks machine?

stealing is for niggers and wallstreet jews

As a respectable, upstanding white person, I do not steal

I would "steal" the DVD's and demo discs that came with game magazines.

>>5774342
Get off my land then and go back to Europe!

Now we'll here you defend the right to steal what belonged to others in the first place.

Started shoplifting from the shitty retail store I worked at, I was so fucking miserable at that dead-end job, I wanted to dig into the owner's pockets. Probably stole $3-4k worth of merchandise in the few weeks before I quit, not to mention I frequently gave away merchandise.

Became a habit after that. DVD's, clothing, lots of makeup, dozens of books. Mostly shit that I don't need, gave a lot of it away as presents.

Best lift was a $200 trenchcoat, snipped the security tag off in the dressing room, stuffed that shit in my purse and walked right out. Patched it up at home, going to look FABULOUS this winter.

Also, lol @ Hollister. First time I went there, grabbed a few dozen bottles of cologne and sold all of that shit on eBay.

I haven't stolen anything in a few weeks, though. Never been caught, joining the armed services in December, don't want to spoil a perfect record.

>>5774325
It wasnt one the company used, it was a brand new 1200 espresso maker that was sitting in the product section under some coffee pots and grinders n shit. I just picked it up and walked out after buying a drink. Thing is, when you've come into a store and buy something you dont look suspicious anymore. The staff will be hyper aware of your presence until you make a purchase, and then after transaction is done they put you out of their minds, just one of a million faces. Its fucking basic monkey shit, really. That method is great because it also reduces the suspicion of customers in the store watching you.

stole a bunch of cd's from best buy would ditch Sunday school and go to the local target that was 2 blocks away and steal game cube games and come back and hide then in the car that's about it

>>5774300

Wrooong, you're not cute you fob.

>>5774444
You are a manly woman

>>5774444

ur going to be an army whore slut who bangs 10 guys 8)

>>5774457
You should start a co-op where people on /r9k/ with balls steal and sell things to people on /r9k/ without balls.

>>5774457

You got balls like a nigger.

>>5774475

lollllllllllllll the point is, employees don't usually think that little asian women steal (or really, anyone who just looks professional, etc).

>>5774536
Do you take out the metal square strip out of the book or your college books don't have those?

Succesfully jacked:
Numerous computer games
X-box controllers
Beer
Food
Lighters, OTC medicine, etc.

Unsuccesfully jacked:
$200 worth of beer from Safeway
Shit wasn't cash, man. Got busted in the parking lot by a guy from corporate who was doing an inspection that day.

>>5774546

for some reason there aren't any sensor systems set up at the door. it's the weirdest damn thing. also, there are 3 doors to the bookstore. one on the lower level near the books, one upstairs near apparel/school pride shit and another which is mostly for a coffee shop located in the bookstore. i always enter through the books door and exit through the apparel door upstairs because the employees up there don't know shit

>>5773945

which supercenter in Iowa? that is, what town? 9I'm in Ames)

All of you are little pieces of scum.

>>5774606
>supports a corrupt corporatist system
>believes he is being noble by doing so

>>5774606

You're probably the person who gets SO GOSH DARNED MAD when that person at midnight stops at a red light and runs it when he realizes the only other person around him is some faggot in a geo metro beside him.

GUYS HE IS BREAKING THE RULES!!!!

-Various liquer, candy etc
-Vidja
-Accessories
-Cigs
-Booze

I've stolen pretty much anything I can get my hands on

Hell I went carhoppan last night and took some change just for the shits n giggles

Lots of books under the shirt or in the coat pocket (from borders)
food from airport stores (12$ of moose munch on empty stomach with no money in wallet = fuck year)
food from gas stations up the sleeve
basically anything i can fit up the sleeve
also an tape recorder from staples, slipped it under my shirt and into the bathroom, remove security shit, win a brand new party gear
i also stole a wireless internet usb thingy after my laptop's own hardware broke, had no cash so i took it out of the packaging very sly like and pocketed it.
it was more complex since i had to ask for help and shit but was easy in the end... heart racing and new computer part free

>>5774626
>steal
>think you are fighting the power by doing it

forgot to mention the time i walked out of borders with a dvd with full security plastic and nothing happened. was waiting for the buzzers to go off, and dawdling around with this shit until finally just said fuck it and walked out, laughed to my self when nothing happened and drove away with books and a new movie

>>5774662
>have no virtues
>wants something, thinks it is not worth price, steals it
>doesn't give a fuck

I've saved hundreds-- HUNDREDS-- by simply stealing what I want if I don't think it's worth paying for. Sure, I'm a piece of shit. Karma has already bit me in the ass, so now I'm playing life with the cheat codes on.

Smoke weed, get good grades in school. Have steady job, shoplift anyway. Truth be told-- lost is the art of truly not giving a shit.

>>5774536
I work in retail and the only people I trust not to steal are old people. People in uniforms are just as likely to steal as they're usually so Jewish.

When I wanted to steal candy or anything like that, I would walk into the store with a big gulp cup and a lid acting like I was drinking out of it. Just walk around and fill it up with as much shit as possible. Completely discreet. I usually buy something when I shoplift so I don't look suspicious.

I always raided classrooms in elementary school when everyone was in recess/lunch. All the teachers would go into the teachers lounge leaving their classrooms open. Stamps, hall passes, candy, pencils, stickers, random shit. It fucking ruled. I had so much shit I neither needed nor used, but the feeling of the heft and weight of a newly pilfered item is fucking great.

>>5774743

this is fucking brilliant for costco/sams/walmart type places that serve sodas inside. Brilliant. I am going on a protein bar spree tomorrow.

Best place to steal is dollar store :D

I steal deodorant, toothpaste, and other such things from walmart all the fucking time. Whenever I start to run low I just make a trip to my local walmart around 1-2am and grab that shit, put it in my pockets, and walk out.

Other than that, I've stolen some books from borders, DS/PS2/PSP games from k-mart, mechanical pencils from staples. You name it, if it fits in my pocket, up my sleeve, or in the small of my back under my leather jacket, I'll steal it.

That being said, I also buy a bunch of stuff. $500 dollars of my paycheck every month is all fun money which I will spend on just about anything. I only steal because it is exhilarating.

My sister stole a bike from walmart. She literally walked right out the door with it.

>>5774967
They fire people for letting shit like that happen at W-Mart.

>>5774753

When I was in middle school, they had practice for pretty much every sports team right after school, which meant that about 50 people's clothes were sitting in the gym lockers...which I suddenly realized DID NOT HAVE LOCKS OH MY GOD.

I lived very close to school and always walked home, so I'd just dick around at my locker, go buy a soda, etc until school was empty and everyone was done changing, then I went into the locker room through a side door and lifted almost two hundred dollars in cash from wallets. It's amazing what kids brought to school in the 8th grade, even in 1997, but back then kids didn't have cell phones and ipods and shit, so all I could get was cash. Then I waited a few weeks for heat to die down, and did it again. It worked three times and then I decided to stop.

Those jocks bought me so many video games!

>>5774967

That's so gutsy ... she has the balls of a nigger

I shoplifted a ipod charger yesterday from officemax. Now im shitting brix thinking cops are gonna come to my house lol. I just cant go back to it the store lol. The box was already damaged also so I just had to make the plastic tear larger & just slide that charger out. Its the kind with the usb port.

>>5775023


Shit that's a pretty cool story man. You're the man.

Imagine doing it now, you'll get ipods/cellphones/itouch/laptops

ib4 wall 'o text

I used to work at an unnamed Western US department store before they went tits up. Good riddance, imo.

As a stockroom employee, I had full access to all inventory. I could add, delete, move, and misplace anything I wanted. for a while I was good, I did my job exceedingly well. No errors, flawless organization, worked my ass off, etc.

What did it get me? Passed up for promotion, cut hours, and forced to work with assholes who couldn't organize a pile of coins by denomination. The bitterness grew with each passing day as I was forced to clean up the mess my coworkers made with their incompetent stocking techniques.

"No, the pillows don't go there."

"No, you can't just grab a handful of random shirts and stuff them in a spot and scan one tag for the lot of them."

"No, each style/size of jeans is unique and requires it's own spot."

My insistence on following protocol went unheeded, my work was repeatedly nullified by retards with scanners.

One Christmas I had enough. We were receiving the amount of inventory a larger store would normally get, when we are one of the smaller ones. So we had roughly three times the amount of items we could process, much less sell.

More than we could sell in 5 years of excellent sales.

There were no cameras in the stockroom.

One day as I was clambering over piles and piles of boxes (can you say fire code violation?) I came across some 512 MB mp3 players worth about 40 bucks (this was in mid 2006) apiece...at least 50 of them. Yoink. Friends were happy, and I made more than a few dollars. Yay.

Over the last three months of my employment I appropriated quite a bit of merchandise, clothing, shoes, new sheets, towels...enough to outfit me quite nicely. $8.50 an hour to work my ass off only to have all my work undone within a day? Fuck you.

>>5774069

Why did that give me a boner.

>>5775153

It's yours now brah.

How would the cops know it was you that took it?

>>5775208
Nice! How much did you steal at retail value if you have to venture a guess?

>>5775255

Well, the players were worth about 2 grand retail. I sold them for half that and I gave half of them away, so I got $500 there.

Jeans and shirts, probably a few hundred. 800 thread count sheets, at least $300 worth.

The best was when they decided to have a promotion where you'd get a $20 gift card when you bought $50 worth of merchandise. Kicker: whatever you bought with the gift card was treated as a cash purchase and could be returned for green.

Epic scam: Buy a fuckton of stuff with cash, get cards, buy stuff with cards, go elsewhere, return everything for money, rinse, repeat.

I never went that far, but I know a lot of people did.

>>5775278

Nice! Now you inspired me to steal from the dollar store and thrift store ... going to get my self some AIDS infested clothes tomorrorw :)

I've only ever accidentally stolen one thing.

Upon a visit to target to finish decorating my apartment, I came across some hilarious metal signs and eventually picked one with a gentleman holding a hot dog that said "Be safe, always use condiments". I threw it in my cart and forgot about it as I picked out a few rugs and a shower curtain and all that business. I ended up with a bunch of big stuff in my cart, so they just scanned from the cart. The lady missed the sign, and I forgot I even had it. It now hangs above my oven.

I used to look for receipts outside of grocery stores, spot the most expensive item on the receipt, go inside and grab the item and get a refund. You can only make so much money before you start raising suspicion.

With the clothing, there's also a pin on the other side holding it in, very tight. If you can get that off by magic, the thing should just release away.

Need food? STEAL!

Need clothes? STEAL!

Hehe ... the life of the thief, it's like a real life cheat code.

VERY VERY LOW Risk places to steal:

- thrift store
- chinatown/india town
- dollar store

:]

My school sells this $80 cd for a class we need. $80? Fuck that. I went to the bookstore, grabbed 5 cds, put them in my bag, and left. Gave them to kids in exchange for weed =]

>>5775328

Pro-tip.

You can pull most of these out with a magnet. I've never tried it, but I used to work at a store that used those, and we just used a magnet to get the backing out.

Another trick:

When stealing clothes, go try it on ... THEN KEEP IT ON. Hehe ;D

>>5775359

FUCK YEAH!

Bro fist.

<3

I used to steal books, I meant like 30-50 books from my high school library :]

I used to work for a company that dealt entirely online. I basically worked in a makeshift warehouse type deal. I was still in high school at this time and my boss had a separate project for me which was to create a database w/access that had all their customers information. Credit card included. Whenever I had quit to go to college I decided to email myself the database to show me teacher that taught me how to use the database. At the moment I had forgotten about all the private information that was located on the database and once I did I kept it regardless. I'm now sitting on about 600+ individual credit card information w/the security code & any other personal information that I'd ever need.

This was about 6 months ago and I'm debating on whether I should do anything or just do the moral thing and not fuck these people over.

What do the robots think?

Here is how I get food:

-walk into target
-find food, open bag
-casually eat food while walking out.

good times.

>>5773763
He's saying that nigras steal bikes.

>>5775252
Well I didnt really go around looking if they had any cameras installed. It didnt look like they had anything anyway. I just had the box upside down, slid the piece out & pocketed it & put the box on some shit & walked out. Im thinking they dont arrest anyone on the spot but just leave it to the cops. There are signs outside that say there are video cams monitoring & im worried that they mightve gotten my license plate number. Im 21 so no underage let it slide if you pay & there will be no record shit. Got caught when I was 17 at k-mart. Probably get kicked out or wtf not & my grandmother would tell the rest of my family what happened if the cops do come. Im just not going to go back to the store lol.

>>5775365

208, 278 here

It requires a fairly strong magnet for the ink tags. A handheld might not work so well if at all. You're better off with wire cutters.

Oh, one time I was tasked to clean out the fitting rooms, what with worthless peons leaving piles of bullshit lying around. So on a hunch I checked underneath the lip of the in-stall benches, LO AND BEHOLD I pulled a whole shoebox worth of security/price tags out from one fitting room alone.

I took them to the general manager and told them to fire whoever was in security XD

When I go grocery shopping, I always put the soda on the rack underneath the cart. When I go to check out, I don't mention it to the cashier. Sometimes they catch it, sometimes they don't. :3

how can I steal books from the university library? there's a few rare mathbooks that I am interested in. How many security features are in a book? sometimes I see thin metallic strips but im paranoid about things that might be hidden in the spine. Tips?

>>5775408

It's online shit, so I would say no.

I have no qualms about using them for personal gain, but the risk of getting assraped in jail over some easily traceable credit card fraud is not worth it.

I printed out about 50 of those fake monster coupons over the summer and got 120 free monster energy drinks in one day. I drove around town all day to different stores using each coupon at each store. I would get nervous while using the coupon, but I was addicted to the rush that day. All day just getting free drinks.

Lets see:
360 controller I smashed a few weeks later.

GTA san andres
There was a collecters set of all the GTA games for the same price right next to it, barely out of my price range. I got pissed and just took it.

I took some anime figurines from a convention because the guy was being a dick.

little stuff from stores like gum or candy or kicknacks, you know, little stuff.

Some lighters, some old lady from the dollar store confronted me about it once, but I managed to hide it in a chest pocket and when I pulled all my pockets out she was like ":O sorry".

I took some kids Kingdom Hearts game right out of his backpack while he was walking down the hall. He never even noticed.

A few wallets, not to be a dick or anything, I just found them and didnt return them. I guess that counts.

I'm probably missing out on a lot, but I haven't stolen anything in a really long time. There's too much to risk nowadays. I dont really consider myself a thief but I have stolen quite a few things.

>>5775453

Usually there are magnetic strips in the spine, on the cover and at least one or two stickers in random pages.

My personal experience (of watching) is that the clerks in the university stores don't have the will or authoritah to stop you if you just walk out with a bag that beeps.

Not encouraging anything, mind you.

>>5775408

Hmmm ... I have nothing against stealing $10k worth of item from wal-mart but don't steal from individuals ... karma will bite your fucking ass. Stealing from corporations is okay.

>>5775488

University library? Be a fucking boss and just walk out who gives a shit if it beeps!

Thievery makes you subhuman in the eyes of anyone with a sense of justice or empathy.

No wonder you fucks are all on 4chan.

>>5775453
Cut the spine & check? Honestly the spine isnt that thick & you can normally feel something bumpy & a lot of them have it on the jacket or on a random page.

A question to my fellow shoflifters. Like I said in my previous posts above. I havent shoplifted anything for 4 years(21 now) after getting caught. Why do you guys do it? I felt no rush yesterday tbh & I wouldve bought it if I just had the exact amount. I was probably $7-9 dollars short & couldve just came back the next day and got it but just decided to jack it. Feel somewhat bad now but mostly just due to the thought of getting sent an email or the cops showing up.

>>5775546
Fuck off white kid, go back to your wage slave job.

>>5775553

You're just being scared. If it makes you feel better don't visit the store for another 6 months.

Tommrow I'm going to steal some clothes from the thrift store ... a dress shirt, a tie, and anything that is cool

lol when I did community service at the local thrift store they had an issue at the front and called "security"

the stocky mexican bulldyke showed up, lol

maths, do eet

Anyone who worked at Sears or another department store, rate my friend's plan to jack an iPod.

There is a large display of iPod Touch & related products in the Electronics section of the target store, which does not have it's own checkout. One floor up, there is the clothing department. My friend will walk in with a keychain swiss army knife, ear buds and one of those battery powered iPod charger packs in his pocket. He will shop around a bit, stopping to pick up an iPod Touch in Electronics and place it in his basket along with some munchies. Then, he'll head up to Clothing and shop around for about 15 minutes, picking out some shirts and jeans and loading them into the basket. Once he has a small load of clothing, he'll head to the changerooms. There are no employees watching these.

>>5775632 con't
He will leave his basket on one of the chairs, scooping up his clothes and the underlying iPod and head into the change room. Time is now of the essence, using the blade in his pocket he'll strip the packaging of the iPod and remove the device, making sure to leave the outer packing relatively neat and tidy. He will plug in his earbuds and the charger pack, then proceed to try on one or two pairs of clothes. Once he's sure the iPod has a partial charge, turn it on, enable the PIN lock on it and swap the background picture, then put it in his pocket. He leaves the change room after no longer than 10 minutes, places most of the clothes back where they came from and quietly drops the packaging in an out of sight area as he replaces one of the items. He then heads to the checkout, puts on his coolface, and purchases those new, nicely fitting jeans and a funny tshirt, and some munchies for the weekend. Then he gets the receipt and gets the hell out of Dodge at a calm and relaxed pace.

>>5775647 con't

If anyone asks, what's in his pocket is his damn iPod, with his own pricey earbuds that this store does not stock, with his personal PIN lock on it that he certainly will not unlock for you, fuck off Mr. Security Nigger.

Items Needed: Headphones/Earbuds, Battery iPod Charger, Keychain Swiss Army Knife/other nonsuspicious blade, around $60, antipersperant, coolface, balls of a strong metallic alloy.

Planned to perfection, brand new iPod Touch with all the fixins'. Paranoid? Yes. Effective? Likely.

>>5775632
Has your friend never used a changing room before? They don't let you take baskets in jesus christ.

>>5775564
Thanks anon. I will just go to a store further away for black friday.

And also in >>5775553
>thought of getting sent an email or the cops showing up
>sent an email
>email

OMG wtff ffffffffffffffffffffffff. I need to get off the computer ;_;

>>5775632
What the fuck, they leave ipods out in the open? holy fuck, easy jacking

most shit that you can easily steal, isnt worth having, really. Candy? lead pencils? are you really hurting for a fucking lead pencil to steal it?

I can imagine something like a tv or an mp3 player but I don't even enjoy candy all that much to steal it.

>>5775668
Oh, I posted before you finished, I thought it ended in the changing room. Anyway, the last few times I went into a changing room, they physically grabbed the clothes I was holding to count them and give me one of those tag things. Not sure if I look like the thieving type or if that is just standard procedure.

>>5775453
those do nothing, trust me. they're just there for show.
taking them off could ruin the book though.
put it in your backpack and walk out without touching the tag.

>>5775691
They like to put up these huge displays, product pyramids, those big cardboad signs surrounded by items, etc. Electronics is not that far from the front, it's usually the first stop for people entering the store, but it's in a quiet enough corner.

>>5775668
Pay attention please.

>>5774287
yeah bro, grocery stores ftw
walk out with full carts
walk out with grills and toasters
medicines
batteries
absolutely anything you might need in your house
and always be delightfully full and happy
:)
confidence is key, don't look suspicious, look bored and nonchalant

>>5775632

Not bad.

Make sure he spends some time in the electronics department though before he does anything. Have him ask an employee for help finding something since shoplifters NEVER approach employees (according to training videos everywhere) as that will look good to the wage slaves staring at security cameras.

Tell him to meander a bit. If he walks straight to the IPods and then away that will arouse suspicion, have him check out a bunch of stuff first, pick stuff up, look at it, put it back, rinse repeat. Play some demo games or something.

Best advice I can give, I'm sure there's flaws somewhere. :P

>>5775664
Do they have power outlets in changing rooms?

Also, are you SURE they don't watch changing rooms?

>>5775727
That's why he picked this specific department store, I know others in the area who will demand you hand over everything to be looked at. There is literally no one at the changerooms here after they sued for some privacy/peeping tom bullshit 3 years ago. Entirely unsupervised.

>>5775701

The money adds up in the long run

I stole my lunch from Tesco everyday at school, sandwiches, m&ms and those little cans of dr pepper, every day, I also stole a hat pretty much every week, it's easy when there's 400 other kids in the store and one security guards watching the suspicious dickheads.

>>5775767
THIS.

I don't recall ever seeing power outlets in changing rooms.

>>5775767
Battery powered, takes a small enough battery and gives enough charge incase the factory charge is weak.

Positive they don't.
>>5775760
My buddy is the kind of guy who will talk your ear off and has no issues with uncomfortable situations, he'll be wandering both areas for a good deal of time and chatting up the workers asking where they keep this game, and that movie, and prices for this and that and what kind of TV shows he likes.

I work in retail, and I am paying close attention to this thread so I know how to catch shoplifters.

I was at a bar, routing around people's coats/purses in a guise to "find my coat". Stole some cigarettes, some gum, and an iPod nano; no FM radio though :( I usually don't steal from individuals, but this boosted my confidence, and I may try it again

>>5775797
>>5775767

he clearly said a Battery iPod Charger was needed, which I'm assuming just plugs into the ipod itself with no cables.

>>5775812
You's trawlin.

Unless you're actually a manager or similar, I refuse to believe you recieve enough cash or enjoyment from your minimum wage employment to care.

>>5773606
How would you go about stealing a huge amount of food? I'm fucking sick of paying for over priced food

i kinda became a kelpto when i was a teenager. i stole a lot from Clairs and Ardenes. I liked my jewlery and I never had any money.

Then I started stealing panties - mostly because othe other girls in school had nice ones, and my parents never had any money.

I was with a girl who i was trying to be friends with so i decided to steal some panties for her. as we were leaving the mall, she spotted a cute guy coming after us so she slowed down so he could catch up. it was an undercover mall security guard who caught me stealing. i got arrested the day after my 16th birthday.

i havent stolen anything but internet since then.

and i strongly believe that internet should be free so whatever.

>>5775812
Honestly is it really even that hard? Person walking around with something & later on they arent.

What's expensive, easy to steal/resell and is easy to sneak out of the store undetected? Is there anything like that? I need to make some money and what better way than stealing from corporations that have been stealing from us for years (by paying all of us minimum wage).

Went into a Shopper's Drugmart with a few friends, I walked out with one of my friends with a bagful of axe sprays, at least $150 worth, me with 3 drinks, big bag of chips, 3 packs of lighters, and some shampoo, shaving cream and toothpaste, my other friend did a run-and-grab on a whole shelf of condoms they kept by the front. Fuck yeah for security machines that only go off for items worth $10+.

>>5775834
As someone who steals grocery cart loads (yes LOADS, packed to the brim), my advice is... shop around completely like normal. Hope to find a store where the exit = the entrance. Leave through it with confidence, pray, bring those greenboxes in the back of your car, toss it into those ASAP (probably the most high tension part of it all), and book it

>>5775839
well you are stealing my heart away. :3

>>5775830

If enough shit goes missing from inventory, whoever was on the shift that day loses their fucking job.

They make you care.

>>5775864

Given the success rates of the people in this thread, I'd say, no.

>>5775811

He's the best type, then.

The first thing they teach wage-slaves is that thieves will avoid you.

Logic dictates the best thieves will be your best friend.

>>5775490
There is no such thing as karma.

How does a mystical universal power know what's "right" and "wrong"?

Karma's a retarded version of the threats of heaven and hell.

IKEA self checkouts
I bought some storage bins, only scanned the lids (few bucks each) and walked out with free bins. Yayyy

I'm the loss prevention lead at my bookstore and we have about $20,000 in Rosetta Stone Language shit in our back office, behind a shitty door you can open in two seconds with a prybar sitting next to the door. Each Rosetta--in a box about the size of a large book--is roughly $300-$600. I could be insanely rich from that alone, but I also have unlimited access to audiobooks, cash drawers, etc.

But I don't want to get xcaught, so I don't steal from where I work. However I do steal from every other place I visit, mostly Target now because the one next to my house has this asshat security fag that tries to act cool and follow me around. I've lifted probably $2,000 in random shit form there just to fuck with the guy, usually just food/games/movies.

>>5775897

They don't check inventory every day. Yearly was the norm at my retail job.

Stole a Snickers from a Safeway when I was like, six.
Stepdad yelled at me and we took it back.

I haven't stolen anything from then on.
...And it feels good.
I gave up my life of crime...

>>5775865

>minimum wage

Get an education and stop whining.

... and then steal office supplies from the University because they blow money on stupid shit and then up your fucking tuition every fucking year.

>>5775932

Only if you perceive it in the supernatural sense. Karma is generally true because people WILL remember your good deeds and you generally get favorable returns because of it, while being an ass usually catches up to you.

>>5775947

I love you <3

Where there's a will, there's a free.

>>5775956

HA

I work at a gas station, and we do it once a day, or at most, once every two days.

Of course, that's becuase gas stations draw shoplifters like shit draws congressmen.

I stole so many fucking snes games when target decided to place them outside of the glass case. Never caught, but I do admit some of it might have been luck.

A great way to fuck over retail establishments is phony returns, for instance:

Go into Target, buy a pair of their shitty sunglasses that are a ripoff at $20. Go back in the next day, of course leaving the sunglasses you bought at home, and go to the rack and secretly lift a pair off the rack. Go to cust service, return them. Success: you keep $20 and still have a pair of shitty sunglasses at home. This will work for ANYTHING, at any store, so long as you don't get pinched returning something from right off the shelf.

There's this gas station near my friend's house and there was this guy that worked there we called "Cheese Puff". I think he might've had Asperger's or something because we would just walk in and fuck around with me pretending to be his buddy and shit while nabbing shit at the same time and he either didn't have a clue or he just let us do it because we were his "friends". Needless to say, it only lasted a few months before he didn't work there anymore.

>>5776003
which it's pretty hard to catch unless you actually SEE someone grab it off the shelf and take it right to returns or suspect you and catch it on camera. otherwise they cant prove shit. phony returns are like the number three shrink for retail.

<---former targetfag

>>5775986

Well yeah, you got one room's worth of stock, we had a whole department store + the stockroom.

Honestly, it was sad how lax it was. Mucho Zapatos de Converse were mine, Levi's 501's, shirts, underwear, goddamn, it was fucking ridiculous, especially since I just deleted it from the system (from someone elses account XD)

Oh well. shouldn't have quit, should have taken more, but fuck it.

>>5776054
what are number two and one?

>>5776071

Employee theft is number one.

Two is external theft.

>>5776071
idk...probably:

1. internal theft
2. paperwork

that's what my regional LP guy says

>>5776070

>one room

True dat. And the manager counts every fucking stick of gum. I fucking shit you not, man.

>>5776113

I believe it, since that gum is 100% of your profits since you break even(maybe) on gas.

>>5775546

Exactly. I do not steal because it is reserved for niggers and the poor, which I am a part of neither group.. Both are subhuman and pig disgusting

>>5776159

Wow, you really did work retail.

Yeah, food is our profit-maker. Honestly that station is overpriced as fuck on gas (Speedway) but the interior of the store is a lot bigger then most; it's a full-on convenience joint. Milk and lunchmeat, even. Gas is just a convenience to get them in the doors.

I was a little klepto as a kid. Stealing a lot of sweets and foods from a nearby supermarket. Got caught after a long string and banned from the store for 2 years. I blame it on a bad influence.

My first shift at a video store, my coworker "gifted" me a game from the shelf. I didn't really get it, but in the following weeks it became clear that he pretty much had no regard for property. He stole drinks, gave out free hires - whatever. Thing is, the owners were saints - they knew about him doing that, but were just "disappointed."

Other than that, office supplies and some wicked cheese.

>>5776197

Common knowledge, but yeah I did work retail for far too long.

I don't steal from gas stations, the franchisees are the ones that get fucked, not the oil companies. :P

"Steal this book"

http://www.tenant.net/Community/steal/steal.html

Read it

I work at BigW (ausfag)
Best thing is to stick the clear plastic stickers that make the machines go off onto people's trolleys and bags and watch them get called back by security.
believe me my job's boring

>>5776282

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That's the best thing I've read all day, thank you

>>5776273
>1971

A lot of stuff mentioned in this book is way outdated, but it's still a good read.

one time I downloaded a car

is this win?

>>5776317

That's lame. I used to put those stickers on about 10% of the shopping carts. The alarms went off so much no one even paid attention to them anymore.

>>5775947

So you're a crook loss prevention. That's awesome :3

bamping a most epic thread

I am a retail security guard for a major retail company.

NONE of you are hardcore badass shoplifters.

The most badass guy I ever caught tried to stab me with an empty heroin needle, and went into withdrawl while he had him handcuffed to the bench.

All of you should feel ashamed.

>>5775947
Just to warn you, I used to work for Target, and they DO have permission to throw your ass to the ground and put you in handcuffs.

The only reason they haven't is probably because you're stealing mostly minuscule, unimportant shit. Spending hours processing someone for stealing a $50 video game is not good use of time if someone makes off with $1000 in shit during the time they're busy with you.

>>5776670

Dear Mr. Security Guard

As a former Infantry in the army, you're a weak ass pussy.

Regards,
Grunt

>>5775490

I agree with this 100%. Steal from the giant places that screw your life in ways you don't know, don't go after small stores that are just trying to break from working for others. Especially if they have stuff that you actually like.

I work retail, and a few days ago we've had our first theft in over a year - our customers like us so don't want us to go out of business and actually pay for stuff so that we are still here for years to come. The girl who stole it was in uniform, took the shirt off the hanger, stuck it in her bag, walked around a little more then left. Because it's a small enough value item, we haven't persued it.

Think of this guys - if we put this stuff forward, this girl would be expelled from her expensive private school (hard to escape being found because she was in uniform), her parents would have to deal with the cops, and after all that, they are likely to pay the school around $20k just to get her re-enrolled.

So many of you haven't been 'caught' because the workers in these places don't want to screw your life over. Think about that, seriously.

>>5776726
>>implying a former infantry man sitting in his mom's basement drinking beer is better then a guy with a job.

>>5776726
You are a badass for being in the infantry

But as a factual note, I am a /fit/izen am probably stronger than 95% of the people I see holding my position

I enjoy this because everyone else I work with is either skinny as a rail or fat, and I do not trust them to help me wrestle with someone worth a damn

>>5776728

Interesting perspective, thanks for posting it.

However, the girl in the uniform is a dumb cunt, deserves it. She'll drop out of school and become a hooker 8)

>>5776752
saying being a rent-a-cop is a job is like saying that a bronze medal is a great achievement

>>5776773

It's a job that makes me 50 grand USD a year at 23 years old

(yes, I am the manager)

I stole a book from an IKEA that they weren't even selling. It was just sitting there as a prop on the shelf.

Another time I went with my girlfriend. We stole her a sweatshirt that was being used as a prop in a bedroom. I also stole a big 6 pack of cinnamon buns. Just picked it up and walked out.

>>5776757

Well that's cool, I go to /fit/ too LOL.

I do crossfit/ghetto workout at the park.

>>5776818
Fun fact... most displays have no retail value, especially sample displays, like for perfumes and stuff

Therefore, you can't be charged with them, because they can't ascertain a value for them

A lot of young kids steal the displays and then give them to girls as gifts. Girls probably never know the fucking difference.

>>5776752

Hey, I'm upstairs in my parent's house while watching anime, don't diss me 8)

>>5776787
whatever you say faggot

SECURITY SECURITY WE HAVE AN ANGRY OLD WOMAN DISPUTING AN AD PRICE SECURITY PLEASE REPORT TO CHECK OUT STAND 7

>>5776787

How did you get your job, did you work your way up as a manager when you were a bottom feeder?

I have stolen dozens of books, most of my book collection from Barnes&Nobles. I stole something like $300 + Magic Cards from Wal Mart, DVDs, computer games. I've been caught 3 times. First time ever was in a fucking corner store, some lady saw me idly pocket gum. That was the downhill. The next time, my cousin was the security guy at a computer parts store and he was watching me on the camera because he recognized me! and he saw me put several games in my pockets. I cried, but I was young. Funny thing is, he thought I had only put 1 game in my pocket, so I got to keep the Diablo 2 Expansion. The time I got actually busted, I was golden. Filled my pockets; maybe 30$ in magic cards, some computer games, fuck it, even a yoo-hoo. I was a tiny kid and my clothes didn't fit me right, so after I filled my pockets I looked normal sized. But two of my friends wanted to learn to steal.. my two six foot tall hoodie wearing overweight fucking weeaboo friends came with me to learn to steal. First lesson, don't be six foot tall fatasses, second lesson, DON'T WEAR HOODIES. And the security guard tells me later "Yeah, I saw these two suspicious looking guys walk in. Then a few minutes later we looked between them, and we saw you." They blew my cloaking device. I refuse to risk myself again, it's on my record.. over 50 dollars, that computer game fucking got me. I can still do it, I've practiced, but never again over 25 bucks.

Not stealing but fun:

Go to Sears, then go to the perfume section. Spray perfume on yourself to your heart's content.

>>5776867

When you steal from Barnes&Nobles, how do you get the books? Do you flip throw the pages and get the square peice of magnet out, or do you shake it like a nigger.

Protip: When suiting, wear a suit with a tie. Assuming you're not black or underage, security won't pay that much attention to you

>>5776855

I was bottom rung for two years

Then I got a degree, and got promoted

I know some guys who have worked their way up without using the degree card... the trick is to do a badass job, just please your superiors every day, and constantly state that you're interested in higher positions

Also, don't trust your bosses blindly. I'm not like this, but I know other bosses who have had very good employees under them, and when these employees were being considered for promotion, the manager would intentionally give a false negative opinion of their employee just so they could retain the talent working under them instead of letting them go work under someone else. This way they continue to look good... it's a sick world out there.

Anyways, it's good pay but it's not all it's cracked up to be. The money sounds good until you realize you will be spending way more than 40 hours a week at your store, and it's salary so no overtime. You could probably earn a similar quality of life just by working two jobs that pay less.

I don't want to be a dick and quit right before Christmas, but as soon as that nightmare is over I am going to start interviewing for jobs with the government or police.

>>5776906
Actually, at my store I would pay more attention to you. But that's because my store is in a pretty ghetto area, so anyone wearing a suit sticks out like a sore thumb.

I have seen a dude steal while wearing a santa claus costume before. Totally bizarre.

>>5776894
>>5776894

lol Yeah, important. I was stealing them by the assload.. literally 14 at a time. (two in each pocket, had cargo jeans. one in each back pocket; this is 10. Then two in each jacket pocket; this is four more) and I started doing that before they had those fucking squares in them! Then one day... BEEP BEEP BEEP I had to run! Ever since then, I would read them as I stood and casually remove the fucking square. Sometimes They have 2 though, from someone taking one out of another. >.> Ah, I removed the square, great. Into pocket. Later.. BEEP BEEP BEEP. Barnes and Nobles employees are lazy though, they never chase or even glance over much.

>>5776694
>>5776726
>>5776757
>>5776752
Fun fact: I was also in the infantry for +-4 years, and the first security guard to put his fat fucking fingers on me will learn the exact definitions of "PTSD" and "Muay Thai clinch" in about 4 seconds. I'll go to jail to prove a fucking point.

Also, I steal from Target because they're punk pieces of shit that attempt to overcharge me. And because the security guards think their little uniforms mean fuck all to me. I don't NEED to steal anything, I do it to fuck with people and enjoy doing ridiculous shit (hence, the infantry)

>>5776999
People think way too much of those EAS towers. Those things are utter shit.

Honestly, half the time they don't even deactivate properly. I don't even pay attention to them anymore.

It draws attention to you, but unless it's plain obvious you're stealing, nobody is going to do shit about it.

>>5776929

What does your day involve, can you just surf on 4chan all day and do nothing since you're the manager?

>>5776999

True. One time I told the chick at noble and barne (cashier) that my bag has electronics and it's going to beep, would she like to check my bag? She said it was okay ... then I realize how easy for me to steal all those CDs, like How to Learn Japanese and other books .... :D

I would love to steal from Nobles and Barnes ... but bringing stuff home clutters up my room.

I've stolen shit a book, a game, a basketball, lots of energy drinks and sodas by just grabbing what I wanted and just heading for the door. I guess it helps that I'm white and nerdy looking. But I stopped that since it fills me with anxiety even though it's no big deal since the chances of anyone giving a fuck are low as are the consequences of getting caught.

>>5777051
LP at the bookstore guy here...while our EAS towers at either end sometimes don't go off, any time they do we inspect bags. and florida state law says I can chase down and detain any person I suspect of theft due to EAS activation without fear of prosecution.

my bookstore is surrounded by highways and overpasses and I have put sooo many fucking addicts into rehab, lemme tell ya.

>>5777040
>I'll go to jail to prove a fucking point.

All that makes you is an idiot, not a badass. Look, the cops pretty much have our back in all this stuff. The guy who tried to stab me got written up on all sorts of ridiculous shit just to make sure that as many of the charges stuck as possible. Also, even if you can get past the first guy, often there are 2 more right behind him (though knowing some of the pussies who work at Target, they're likely to just stand there and be scared... and I hate to say this, but doubly so if you're black, for some reason they all are scared of black people) It is not a great idea.

Besides, if you are not a serious crackhead booster, they will probably ask you politely to return the stuff rather than just putting you in cuffs.

>>5777040

So why did you get out of the infantry? I got out because I didn't want to step on a mine ... but I love playing with rifles.

Nothing is more bad ass then desembling a rifle.

Security guards, for the most parts, are cops wannabe.

I live in Toronto and 80 percent of security guards are FAT BLACK WOMEN, or Indians or FAT Indian women.

LOL wut.

>>5777096

I have to agree with you. A real infantry would follow you home and kill you with a silenced .22 to the back of the head.

>>5777096
You wouldn't annihilate some fuck that put his hands on you after asking him to remove them? Also, due to seeing some of the most fucked up shit imaginable I think it's justifiable for a former grunt to destroy a civilian that decides to lay hands on me.

>>5777138
Oh if only you had ever even had a whiff of actually being in combat arms, you would kill yourself for making that statement.

>>5777066

Well I am still technically a manger. About once a week i have to do normal supermarket management stuff. It gets me out and interacting with the other employees, and who knows, maybe one day they will actually start to care about this shit.

Anyways, my #1 priority is basically managing the guys below me and making sure they are working on external theft (customer theft and fraud, basically). I also help them whenever they spot a booster. My #2 priority is to look into internal theft (employee theft and fraud). I also do all the interviews of people we catch and relay the info we get from it to corporate LP, who do investigations into pawn shops and flea markets and e-fencing and shit.

Organized retail crime is WAY bigger than 99% of people realize. It is a hundred times more important than some idiot kids stealing CDs and the resolution of it pretty much makes or breaks an LP team.

I don't go on 4chan at work because corporate assholes filter EVERYTHING. Mostly I pull reports and look at video.

>>5777099
same reason pretty much. and i hated all the bullshit. of which there were endless amounts.

>>5777146

Alright, share some war stories my fellow infanteer 8)

I never went to war, because I didn't feel like stepping on a mine.

Perhaps you can enlighten me, perhaps I'll join the army again and go to war -- it's every man's fantasy.

>>5777126

This is painfully true

I know a guy who got turned down by the state police, and just about every county and federal police agency in the state

Then he "decided I didn't want to be a cop, and that I'm happy with my current job"

Denial is a sad thing to watch

I am actually strongly considering county police as a change of pace. I'm sick of not having a weapon, basically.

>>5777171

Same here. I quit because:

1. Officers were racist
2. Other guys are racist
3. Potentially get blown by mine, shot by snipers

Only cool part about the army was the gun, and the feeling of ultimate mascunlity.

>>5777157

Why would I kill myself for making that statement? Explain.

>>5777146
If some asshole just grabbed me then there might be a scuffle.

But if I knew I just got caught stealing, that's a different story. Being grabbed is way different than being arrested.

I respect you guys for doing your job, but a thief is still a thief. In this business you kinda learn to understand that good people make bad decisions sometimes.

>>5777164
Do you have like a boss? Does anyone drop in to monitor you? If not, you can bring a laptop and surf on some wifi ...

Also, organize crime ... do they come in and steal stuff on a mass scale, or do they rob trunks that ship items to the store? Elaborate on the organize crime part.

>>5777205
Because the word "silencer" and the caliber "22" have absolutely nothign to do with being in the infantry. A grunt is loud, and uses large rounds. He is not an assassin.
>>5777177
Let me put it this way: war is the most ridiculous, terrifying, enlightening and boring thing ever conceived by Man.
>>5777193
Well, I am of superior Aryan stock, and was pretty good at all the soldierin' stuff. I could march, shoot, talk trash and take a lot of shit. Officers liked me, NCOs liked me, fellow soldiers liked me. It just got to be too lame, really. Bleeding out in a smelly alley in Baghdad was not my ideal method of suicide.

>>5777226
>boss?
I have one "main" boss and then several other people I kind of report to on the side.

My #1 boss, the guy who hired me, is the district manager of LP, who has 8 other stores under his belt as well. He has a masters and did 20 years in the military, and is overall a really awesome guy.

Obviously, all of his bosses are also my bosses; so the group manager (has about ~50 stores under his belt), regional manager (has the entire eastern quarter of the USA), and the president of LP all stop in to visit sometimes too.

I also report to the store's lead manager, and everyone up her chain of command, to a lesser extent

>Also, organize crime ... do they come in and steal stuff on a mass scale, or do they rob trunks that ship items to the store? Elaborate on the organize crime part.

Well... both, but on the east coast it's mostly theft from the store.

People will come in and load up $1000 + in stuff that the can sell. Most of these people are either stealing to survive, or stealing to pay for drugs.

(cont.)

>>5777222
I can understand that, I just have no respect for LP guys that actually wear a fucking uni. That, more than anything, makes me want to steal from them. Where's the finesse? I find it hard to walk by a uni'd security guard and NOT give him my most mad-dog glare, just to fuck with him and see if he'll grow some balls.

ajsdl;jblox
They take the stuff to pawn shops, where they receive maybe 40% of the price of the item. The pawn shops take it to flea markets and sell it there.

Most of the stuff that goes to pawn shops is from the health and beauty section. Hot items are Oil of Olay, Gillette Fusion razor heads, Electric Razors, Electric Toothbrushes and their replacement heads, Diet pills (especially Alli), certain medicines (especially Prilosec, Zyrtec, Claritin, and Abreeva), high-end vacuum cleaners, and infant formula.

Some people also cut out the middle man and do e-fencing over places like ebay and craigslist. They tend to steal shit like vacuum cleaners and expensive DVD boxsets.

Other kinds of crime we encounter is return fraud (people returning empty boxes, or boxes with an item inside that isn't the real item, ex. buying an iPod and returning it with a cheap korean iPod knockoff inside), check fraud, and counterfeit money


In California there is a huge problem with people hijacking whole trailers of merchandise, but I've never heard of that on the east coast.

>>5777282

Okay, now that you got out of the army, what kind of job you have right now, or unemployed?

And share some war stories of how you killed someone.

>>5777331
Work in a bookstore.

War stories? Umm, I had a first lieutenant, never left the States, tell my Afg-veteran squad of scout/snipers that we shouldn't ever do anything in Iraq that we wouldn't do back home--that the Iraqis were people too.

One month later, he was a changed man. Good guy, eventually.

>>5777192

You're in the USA, can't you just buy guns at the corner store?

>>5777388
lol forgot, going to college and aviaton school. g.i. bill.

>>5777396
No, but you can at wal mart, gun shows, and sporting goods stores.

>>5777396
There aren't many companies that will allow you to carry a firearm on company property, no matter what your job is. :P

>>5777282

I dunno man, the way you talk, it's okay to sound cocky because you're infantry, but you sound like a god damn red neck who fucks his sister and mom.

>>5777400

Wow, you can buy guns at wal-mart in USA? That's so fucking amazing .... 8)

I wish it was like that in Canada.

>>5777322
One thing I forgot to mention: they are smart about the laws.

Some of the ballsier guys will load up as much as they can fit in a cart and just push it out of the store, but some guys are a little smarter. Felonly theft in my state is $500... people will load up $490 in stuff, and that way when they get caught it's only misdemeanor theft. This is how they end up staying out on the streets to do it over and over again.

Some of the more popular methods used to steal I see are:

-Conceal - the usual kind, just stuff it in a bag or somewhere on your body. Some people use jackets or cargo pants to load up. One guy actually put rubber bands around his ankles, and threw everything down his pants; it acted like a bag for the merch.
-Pushout: simple, either run out with it in your hands, or load it up into a handbasket or cart, and run out with that shit. Obvious, but hard to stop, because it's easy to be in and out of the store in only a couple minutes with this method.
-Box stuff: Open box for $25 dollar toaster. Remove toaster. Put $400 worth of shit into the box. Close the box. Pay the $25 for the toaster and receive all the stuff inside.
-Ticket switch: This is technically fraud. Find a cheap product that has it's bar code on a sticker. Remove the sticker and place it over the bar code on something expensive. End up paying $20 for a $200 item.

For some reason people LOVE to grab the hard plastic storage bins we sell, load them up full of shit, and then run out with them.

>>5777396
No, they're not that easy to get a hold of. America isn't as gun crazy as it's made out to be. The only place you gun buy guns are at gun stores...and WalMart...and Target...and sporting goods stores, maybe some grocery stores, and there are a few banks that also sell guns. But those are the only places! Well, at least as far as brick and mortar stores are concerned. I mean, there's also websites, magazines/catalogues, gun show traders, and if you wanted to go through less legit channels it's not like it's impossible to find black market traders on the streets.

You guys are not only criminal, you're also retards.

>>5777420

Dude your posts are very informative.

I know you're doing your job, but do you really give a fuck if some crack head steals $200 worth of stuff to feed his habit? Would you turn a blind eye on him?

And the dude who stuck a springe in you, what if it was a HIV infected needle man, your life could've been over

>>5777407
There's a world of difference bewteen an inbred fuckstick white trash redneck and a member of the Aryan race, like myself.

In my experience, VERY few minorities join combat arms, most of them choosing to be cooks, mechanics or clerks, with Hispanics joing the infantry more than any other minority. Whites dominate the combat arms. Just the way it is.

I ride a motorcycle. I wear a full-face helmet with a tinted windscreen, and wear a backpack at all times. Said backpack is bright yellow.
I go to department stores, anywhere having a sale, any place that won't have magnetic tags on EVERY FUCKING PIECE OF CLOTHING. I walk in and I just pull off the paper tag, put it somewhere else, and put the item in either my helmet (cover it with my gloves), or just put in in my backpack while I'm in the dressing room thingy. I just started doing this recently, and in the last 3 weeks I've probably wandered out of stores with about $500 in clothes from Macy's, Express, American Eagle, Target, etc;
I'm probably going to upgrade to other, more expensive things soon.

It probably helps that I'm a fairly attractive male, walk in dressed in motorcycle gear, and the female employees don't expect me to do anything like steal. I've gotten NUMBERS while shoplifting.

All I ever stole was WOTLK from Walmart. It's embarassing yes, but I spent all my money on a birthday present for my ex boyfriend and I felt left out being the only 70 on the server :(

>>5777164
This is genuinely interesting. And relevant to me, I work retail (OfficeMax). They educate us on LP but don't have cameras or dedicated LP personnel; it's just not that big a place.

Haven't shoplifted since I stole jelly beans from Hallmark when I was six, but a few work stories:

One night it was dead quiet, we were all talking in the manager's office right off the registers, and we hear the theft alarm. Someone came in, we didn't hear the door or didn't care, and promptly walked out the door with a computer. We just kinda sighed and got out the paperwork.

>>5777450
Thank god he never actually got me with it

I asked him afterwards just to make sure and he said he was clean, but you can't really trust a heroin addict's word on that shit. They will say or do pretty much anything to stay on the streets and do more heroin.

He was high as shit while we were fighting with him. I did end up getting pretty busted up, just because you can't really control someone who's that high. They don't really feel pain or fatigue, they just keep going apeshit until they're physically pinned to the floor.


I feel bad for most of the serious addicts we catch. As though being an addict wasn't bad enough, they now have a theft (often felony theft) on their record as well. They often get stuck in a pretty vicious loop that ends up with them doing some good time in jail.

When you interview them for info (what their name is, what pawn shop they take the stuff to, how much they get for it, etc.) you often end up learning a lot about them. For some reason people who just got caught are really in a mood to open up to someone. Most of them have fairly normal aspirations that just fell by the wayside because of the drugs. It sucks even more to know that, for example, this chick I caught that always dreamed of being a nurse, will never realize her goal because she is not only an addict but she has a theft on her rap sheet.

This is also why I often try to scare people into dumping smaller shit rather than just arresting them... it's not only not worth my time, but it just isn't right to fuck up someone's chances of getting a job over a stupid video game.

>>5777584
Had a lady who'd been doing photo paper return scamming for store credit (no receipts) all over the place. Came in one night and returned about $120 in paper, we got an e-mail circulating around from LP about the lady and replied with the incident.

Next day, a lady comes in to buy a laptop. Doesn't want the extended warranty (yay, we sell computers at a loss and I lose $5 commission). I'm humdrum ringing her up and she keeps handing me gift card after gift card to pay for it. Eventually something clicks, but what can I do? She walks out the door with her totally paid laptop and I'm like, "Hey Mr. Manager, guess who you just sold that computer to..."

The lulzy thing is that we got her driver's license from the return the first time (she came from Texas or something). And the second time, she signed up for our shopper rewards program to get a bonus credit, so we had name, address, phone number, the works.

>>5777629
So were you actually able to do anything about it?

>>5777629
Obviously, people like to come in to shoplift when it's quiet on Sunday evenings, 'cause our guard is down. We're surprised they're even shopping. It's Sunday and we don't even care.

Plus it's kinda funny to watch a black COUPLE wander in, check out ink, then amble on out with it in their hands. Some date, guys.

>>5777649
Nah, I'm sure LP went and got the cops involved or did whatever they did, but we never got to hear what happened afterward.

Can't really think of any other stories (although somebody did a late-evening run-out with a monitor, too, and damn was it funny to watch them scram). It's a boring office store in a nice part of town.