When the light turns green, wait until it turns yellow to go.

say slipknot is the best pop band ever

>>5358051
... i gotta hand it to you, that's pretty good.

>>5358067
Enjoy being pulled out of your car and beaten to death by a crazed motorist one day.

>>5358067

Not very subtle but fantastic.

>>5358067
LMFAO!!! HOLY SHIT I LOVE YOU.

>>5358051
That shit is cool too

>>5358067
Oh, quite subtle, my good fellow.
As subtle as a brick to your face, if you pardon the pun.

give them a fork when they ask for a spoon

Blow your nose before a handshake

>>5358104
or, a little more subtly, rub/wipe your nose with the side of your index finger, then go in for the handshake.

>>5358104
Best troll yet.

Here's another good one.

When the cashier asks you if you found everything okay, instead of saying 'yes', go into depth about the various items you could not find.

It throws them for such a curve.

>>5358117
Or stick your finger up your ass and offer someone a chocolate covered pretzel like in Mallrats.

Breathe really heavy in the elevator

>>5358104
or, right after the handshake, wipe your hand on your pants/shirt.

I trolled my security guard IRL at my old high school, kids kept smoking weed in the bathroom and twice I was caught pissing in there while faggots got high. I was searched, and drug tested by the school cop etc. Both times I passed.

Well a third time, I was pissing again, and the security guards came in, I went to wash my hands when they burst in and they were like "stop! dont wash away any evidence" I loled and was like not again, and the lead guard asked to smell my hands for pot smell.

Instead he got a whiff full of my sweat junk.

stupid fuck

poop in a cup

when you get a phone call keep saying hello even if you can hear them, hang up, wait for them to call you back, say you couldn't hear them

>>5358051
Who told you of this troll?

>>5358067

I am one of those people that will run the yellow/red light and follow you to the next stop and confront you

over 900000 years ago in highschool i took a square piece of tinfoil and put it over a hotwheels sized car in the lunchroom. teacher triedto pick up piece of trash and i drove it away. did this for like 2 minutes until she got so fucking fed up that she just stomped on it. lulz ensued.

Your friend says he likes a girl.
You say "Oh yeah, go for it, man. She's good for you."

Girl says something like "Oh, I look so fat in this." Obviously fishing for a compliment.
Do not look at her, and say "Yeah."

(1.) Don't walk up/down an elevator...EVER. Make everyone behind you wait as you hold up the entire elevator. Ignore things like toe-tapping and exasperated sighs.

(2.) If you're a girl and you're walking on a sidewalk, and there's a guy walking a distance behind you, SLOW DOWN. Walk very slowly so that he catches up with you.

THEN GLANCE BACK AT HIM LIKE YOU THINK HE'S STALKING YOU.

Keep doing this until he finally just stops walking and goes to the other side of the street.

>>5358187
(3.) Be interested in the fashion industry, and bring it up in conversation with normal people. Say things like "fashion is such an important part of today's society".

(4.) Support Abortion. Oppose the Death Penalty.

>>5358187
regarding the last one, GIRLS FUCKING DO THAT TO ME ALL THE TIME it's so frustrating. I must just naturally look like a stalker or something D:

>>5358187
(2) is easy to avoid. I'd just keep walking.

Also, I wouldn't feel trolled by seeing someone's back in the elevator. How come that is considered a troll?

>>5358187
Escalator, not elevator, chap.

>>5358227
>i wouldn't feel trolled by seeing someone's back in an elevator
0/10
try harder

>>5358140
>>5358051

The only good ones

>>5358187
I've never seen anyone try to walk up/down an elevator.

>>5358221
(5.) Be a vegan, and when you talk to people about it, justify it with things like "animals cry" and "their so cute how can u eat them?"

(6.) Dress like whore. Act like whore. Speak like whore. Smell like whore.

Think highly of yourself.

Tell people false directions when asked for directions

>>5358227
you'd think that the door was on the opposite side

>>5358227
Maybe 'cause it's creepy and makes you look like a cereal killer?

I don't get OP's.

>>5358164
Folkways have recently become a hobby of mine.

>>5358227
It's what's called a 'folkway'. It's a social norm that has been programmed since your were young. It's 'proper' to face the door, and whenever you break folkways, it makes people really, REALLY uncomfortable.

>>5358264
>cereal killer
I lol'd.

>>5358221
(4) is really the subtlest and most effective troll in this whole thread.

>>5358259
...nevermind

that's what I was thinking it was

If you're a guy, look at men's asses while walking down the street. It wouldn't seem too weird if you were a girl, but people give you dirty looks if you're a guy.

>>5358278
But I support abortion and oppose the death penalty, and I'm not even trying to troll.

>>5358247
(7.) If you're white, deny being white because "you're not from England".

(8.) Support the war in Afghanistan now that Barack Obama is president. Deny that it's "that bad anymore".

(9.) Don't shower daily. Shower like, once every 2 or 3 days.

(10.) Never breathe through your nose. NEVER! Always breathe through your mouth. AT ALL TIMES.

(11.) When you're with your friends in public, behave insanely: Yell, scream, have fun, draw attention to yourself, giggle loudly, laugh, etc.

Make absolutely sure that everyone within a 500 ft radius can hear you and your antics.

Then act offended when they stare.

>>5358291

I do this all the time because I'm a fag.

So I guess it doesn't really count.

>>5358235
He was clearly referring to Azumanga Daioh.

>>5358299
And now you realize that you just got trolled in a thread about trolling people.

That one took me a minute to get, but holy fuck it was brilliant.

Potentially epic thread.

Talking loudly on the phone about something disgusting works pretty well, not so subtle though.

Stand to the left on a moving walkway.

>>5358300
(12.) Support Evolution. Deny Social Darwinism.

(13.) Have a kid...NEVER DISCIPLINE IT. EVER.

Act offended when people are pissed off by your monster child. Tell them "it's none of your business how I raise my child!"

(14.) If you're not white, have more than 4 kids.

(15.) If you're white, don't have any kids.

when you meet someone tell em you "got the thing," look around in your pockets and pretend you can't find it to build up suspense.

then say oh here it is, pull your hand out of your pocket and show them a middle finger.

>>5358364
THATS AMERlCA FOR YOU

Hold open the door for someone a distance away so they'll start trotting faster. Its even funnier when their hands are full.

>>5358364
If you feel trolled by (15), you should go visit a psychologist.

>>5358364
(16.) Put a sign on a public bathroom that says "this bathroom for whites only". Watch as niggers flip a shit. Hopefully you will videotape the ensuing chaos.

(17.) Go on a date with a girl, slip a roofie in her drink. Carry her into your car.

DON'T RAPE HER.

>>5358384
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TRUE TRUE TRUE

>>5358384
That's a good one.

Another good one is breaking the 'one urinal rule'. Well, that is if you have the lack of dignity to do it.

>>5358412
(17) is outright criminal, I'm pretty sure. If it could be played safely, it would be an epic troll.

>>5358384
LOL
I do that all the time. Also, it's fun to reverse it. I.e if someone holds the door for you, walk really really slow and see them get more and more annoyed.

If you're black, have only one kid, make sure you stay with the father/mother.

When somebody is talking to you and there are several other people around start conversations with other people in the middle of what they're saying, then return to them and let them continue, repeat this a few times until they finally complete what they're saying and make it clear that you don't give a shit what they just said.

>>5358378
Enjoy not being funny.
Also:

Walk up to trash cans to throw something away, but then miss the can and just drop it on the floor.

>>5358412
(18.) Have a pet dog. Dress it up when you take it somewhere...anywhere.

Make it where a shirt and a hat, and act like it's your child or something. Speak to it and pamper it.

Bonus points if you're an middle-aged "cool mom who never grew up", and if the dog is ultra-tiny and annoying.

(19.) Convince people that you're a true Muslim...Don't kill people.

(20.) Have an STD? DON'T TELL YOUR PARTNER.

When you give him/her the STD, break up with him/her.

Restart cycle.

-Put Crazy Frog as your ringtone

-Stand in crowded elevator

-Play ringtone and keep it in your pocket

ITT: young kids who just started sociology classes.

>>5358495
BEST ONE EVER.

Get in an elevator with someone who has selected the top floor.

GIGGLE AS YOU PRESS ALL THE FLOORS.

Pay for everything with 50 dollar bills, and never have anything smaller.

>>5358506
Yeah, I'm psychic. I always know which floor you have chosen.

>>5358513

Pay for everything in change.

Never have anything in note form.

If your in a conversation with someone you really dont want to continue a relationship with, contradict yourself every other sentence, see how long it takes them to speak out. When they do, deny everything and accuse them of contradicting

Press all of the floors on the elevator just before you get out.

Start a conversation with the person sitting next to you on the bus.

Hard mode: London underground.

>>5358539
LAST I CHECKED, THE LIGHT INDICATES THE TOP FLOOR HAS BEEN CHOSEN

join westboro baptist church

>>5358378
i like to pretend it's not in my pockets and get it out of my bag sometimes

>>5358570
No you did it wrong.

Join Westboro Baptist Church. Then invite real Christians to your Bible Studies.

lol as they freak out

When someone asks for a couple of ice cubes in their drink, only give them one!

>>5358486
>Make it where a shirt and a hat, and act like it's your child or something. Speak to it and pamper it.
>where

(21) Spell simple words wrong

>>5358552

Pay with coinrolls. Bitches hate coinrolls.

Give Homeless/street performers Coupons

>>5358384
I done this so often at college.

But there were times i actually did hold the door for this girl i liked in a different course.
I literally stalked that girl, even to the point of finding out her:
name
address
course
friends
without once talking to her.
;_;

Also, the reverse of this was one i done as well a few times.
Someone holds the door for me, i walk a little faster, then slow down just to prolong the pain.

Whenever people ask you a binary question (true, false, yes, no, etc), always answer it with a maybe, or dunno, whatever.

Answer questions with questions is always a good one.

Only speaking in short, complex statements.

Speaking in Shakespearean.

>>5358598
Or collect a load of foreign and old coins, go into town and give them to a homeless fella

>>5358495

continuing with moar

-Go to hotel, strip down to underwear

-Order dinner through roomservice

-Answer door with boner

OR

-Go to Hotel

-Fap and cum on the edge of the toilet bowl before checking out

Wait outside of supermarkets/grocery stores and ask people for money.

That's it. You're done.

>>5358622
HOLY SHIT MOAR

MOARBLOCKSMOARBLOCKSMOARBLOCKS

SO MUCH WIN

i'm crying right now guys.

Ask directions to Sesame Street.

>>5358656

CAN YOU TELL ME HOW TO GET
HOW TO GET TO SESAME STREEEEET?

-Visit somebody's house for the first time

-Immediately ask where their toilet is

-Stay in toilet for hours (switch on their shower during this time to piss them off more)

>>5358708

I like this one, pretty original.

If ever invited to a dinner at someones house, buy fast food (Mcdonalds is fine), put it in your car. When it's time to eat, wait for them to set up the table with the meal, then bring the fast food from your car.

>>5358728
FUCK YOU MY FRIEND IS AN ASSHOLE OMG

go someone's house. when they're not looking go to their toilet and empty half a bottle of washing up liquid into their toilet cistern.

This thread reminds me of those '10 retarded things to do in a Walmart' weeaboo chicks are always posting.

>>5358728
I laughed rather uproariously.

Enter a church. Naked.

>>5358728

Bonus points if you dump their food off of the plate they serve you and use the plate for your fast food.

>>5358758

It would take a twilight fag to talk about weaboos in a thread that's completely unrelated.

BEST ONE:
Play pokemon...still

>>5358378
Not subtle, but fucking funny anyway.

>>5357856
this made me think of:
Enter public bathroom, find occupied stall, and then make the loudest funniest farting noises you can.

>>5358837
if you live in the UK this one works really well beacuse everyone is too scared to say anything.

*Stare. When someone isn't looking up or not looking at you, just stare at them. No blinking at all. Just stare. When they look up at you, look at something else and pretend it never happened. Bonus points if you look back at them with a "What the fuck is wrong with you?" look.

*Answer everything with "Why?" Keep going until the person you're talking to gives up in frustration.

*If you have friends, form a line and take up space. Leave a gap in the line so someone can get through, but make it a small gap so they have to talk to one of you. Stare at them, or if they ask you to excuse them pretend you speak a different language.

*If you're in a quiet room with lots of people: cough/sniff at random intervals. For some reason this drives people absolutely batshit insane.

*Look up in a public place. Watch as people join you in looking at nothing in particular.

*Piss on the floor/urinal/sink/mirror/toilet paper/seat cover.

>If you're in a quiet room with lots of people: cough/sniff at random intervals. For some reason this drives people absolutely batshit insane.

FUUUUUUUUUUUU

Sit in peoples letterboxes.
Wait, thats not subtle.

When someone asks you what time is it, answer:
"And seven minutes. I've lost the hour pointer."

I put articles from various nutty conspiracy sites on the doors of political activists (works best in college so you can see their reaction).

When I did this with Obama, I put it on black kid's doors, not directly because of their race but because they were the biggest supporters of Obama. Hearing them flip out made me trollface SO hard.

Text obnoxiously in movie theaters. Bonus points if the movie is a suspense thriller or chick flick.

>>5358862
>*Look up in a public place. Watch as people join you in looking at nothing in particular.

Hahaha, i do that all the time.

Another is pulling a *shock* face to see if people look at where i was looking.
Then i just make it look as if i was talking on wireless headset.

Making people panic is a good one, how you go about it is another topic.
The "bank is out of money" one certainly worked...

>>5358939
Play the mosquito noise at a very, very quiet point in the movie.

Watch as people go batshit.

1. Make a joke, and then stare into the other person's eyes without laughing.
2. Start up a conversation about the weather, and refer to the weather in a different area. If the other person figures it out, say you were just there.
3. Start a conversation about sports sounding normal, and eventually instead of saying only the team names, say the name and city. Use the wrong city.
4. Reply to someone in a foreign language. If they still try to communicate in english, quickly escalate to yelling at them. As they walk away, mutter an insult in english just barely loud enough for them to hear.
5. Start a conversation about current events. Refer to countries in exclusively the native name for that country, like Zhongguo instead of China.
6. Guess people's ethnicities in the middle of normal conversation. Try to be close, but wrong.
7. Start or end every sentence with the name of the person you're talking to.
8. Drop something that will stain on an article of clothing that looks expensive, and clean it with your sleeve. Use too much force while doing so.

When you are walking near people or in a open crowd, flip out and start swatting at the air as if a bug is flying, then walk really fast and circle the people. Success if the flip out and run too.

Block the entrance to a pool... IRL.

call people and ask hello? Who is this?

>>5358621
>>5358598

But the trick is in the Deliviery, you have to take out your wallet- taking your time-, they will be like "SHIT YA I AM GETTING A BILL," then you give them a coupon.

troIlface.jpg

Give someone a nickname upon meeting them. Refer to them exclusively by this.

Wear a watch, and claim to be unable to tell time when someone asks you for the time.

Go to a concert and refer to the main band as the opening, and constantly ask when (insert band from rival genre) is going to be on.

Busk using only a harmonica or similarly annoying instrument. Stand within earshot of an actual musician.

>>5359052
greater than is used for quotes ><><><><><><><><
>Give someone a nickname upon meeting them. Refer to them exclusively by this.
wait, that's considered trolling?
no wonder i'm bad at keeping friends

>>5359089
Yea. People tend to hate when someone else renames them like that. Works best if the nickname catches on.

Whenever a fraction of any sort comes up in a conversation, express it so it needs reducing, e.g. 2/4 instead of 1/2. It doesn't get everyone, though.

Give homeless people checks for $100.

Try and finish people sentences.

op do you happen to work with youth at a church?

>>5358851
Hey look, the 12 year old edition of this thread! That's crazy seeing it end up here...

Also, this is an obvious one that I haven't seen:

I don't know what's it's called, but lift the top off the toilet and piss in it. Next time they flush, piss comes out. Voila.

>>5359022
this got me because of its simplicity and absurdity.

name people after the country they're from "whats up Poland...?" "come on jamaica...say something" " etc..

Go to a restaurant and order food.

Leave.

Go to buffet, pick up food with your hands.

Wear gloves for bonus points.

>>5359203

Better: name it a country it is near with a similar language . Belgium becomes Germany, Ireland becomes England, etc.

>>5359178
No. I am irreligious and hate children.

>>5359224
Do this in fast food places.
Order, say you are going to the loo, leave and watch from outside as they look around like twats wondering where the fuck you went.

>>5359320

You realize at fast food establishments you have to pay for your food before you get it, right?

Think about it..

>>5359224
I did that at a Wendy's in Mississippi but only because the black woman behind the window pissed me off with her niggerness.

>>5359333
>>5359320
Order pizza's for pickup, never come.

okay. Go to a fast food place, Order the fattest foods, or a lot of food. Ask for a Diet Soda.

Find a public bathroom that's only for use by one person at a time, and stand outside. Never go in. Just form a line.If people try and go in, Look very pissed off and complain that they cut you. Bonus Points if you can get a line to form for the bathroom.

I do this one all the time.

When you are talking with someone by telephone and the conversation is almost over, say something like this:

"Oh, I almost forgot, David told me that yesterday he" and hang up in the middle of the sentence.

watch a show called 'trigger happy tv'.

A lot of these can easily be ruined by a guy who asks questions, is in a confrontational mood, and can beat you up.

For example: >>5359349
If said guy asks you "Is there even anyone in there?" what are you going to say?

>>5358300

>(9.) Don't shower daily. Shower like, once every 2 or 3 days.

>(10.) Never breathe through your nose. NEVER! Always breathe through your mouth. AT ALL TIMES.

>(11.) When you're with your friends in public, behave insanely: Yell, scream, have fun, draw attention to yourself, giggle loudly, laugh, etc


thats me right there :) Im not even trying to be annoying LOL

>>5359386
Well, I'd say, "yeah, I think so."
Then, maybe after a little while, I might suggest going to find someone who works there to open the door to see if they died in there or something.When they left, I'd go in the bathroom and sit down.

When they open the door, act surprised and mad that they invaded your privacy.

They might ask, "where did the person go?" to which I replied he just ran out really fast.

Give people empty gift cards, blame cashiers.

Go into a motel/hotel

Draw gay porn in the bible they provide

or, alternatively, fap and cum into it.

When someone starts talking to you look just about a few inches away from their eyes. It will make you look like a cockeyed maniac and people will rage.

>>5359501
Staring at their left eye also makes you look crazy and will drive them nuts.

Fucking mootbloxosdkoepfk
These ones are from a douche I knew at highschool:
- Cross the road in front of waiting cars and act like you're crippled, taking a shitload of time to get to the other side.
- When a bum asks you for a cent, tell them you only have dollar bills so you can't and show them before leaving.

>>5359494
Fuck that. Keep a copy (or actually just keep a book cover) of Richard Dawkin's The God Delusion. Before you leave, cover the bible with the cover or replace it with the copy of the book.

I haven't been to a hotel in years that has a bible in it...

you must not get out much...

>>5359494

Not subtle.

Leaving the soda fountain close to flooding works.

>>5358621
This one is really good, somehow.

>>5359524
rat traps do.
Every cheap motel I've been in, there's a bible in the desk-drawer. But I guess I haven't been to many cheap motels, so.

when making people a cup of tea, tell them there's no sugar. then laugh in their faces and say that there is sugar and you fooled them.

When someone gives you a pamphlet or something, grab it and hold it and look at them in the eyes. Say "seriously?" smiling, this part is important. Then run away as fast as possible saying caw.

skip in public.

>>5359614
This isn't subtle at all.

Instead tell them there is no sugar.
Add in their usual numbers of sugar.

They will be like "what the fuck, i thought there was no sugar, this tastes no different from when i put sugar in it"
Now they go to make their own with no sugar, get it all wrong and wonder what they are doing wrong.

You just ruined tea for them. (if only temporarily)

Take a short pause before answering a question. Like, stare at them, like you're thinking, then answer. After a while it gets unbearable for the person.

Set up a deck chair by the road at rush hour, wear a reflective jacket and point a hair dryer at passing cars.

While walking across the the street, stop. This will confuse others who are walking too and they might stop too.

Put decaf in the coffee maker at work. Every day.
After 3 weeks everyone will have gotten over their caffeine addictions the hard way.
Switch to caffeinated.

put the pokemon theme song (karaoke) as your ring tone and sing with it until it ends.

stop and stare straight up into the sky on a crowded street

Lean against a wall outside a restroom, reading a book. Whenever it looks like someone is going to enter, look up and make eye contact with them, then go back to reading.

Do the same for everyone that leaves.

Take all the margarine out of a container at an "enemy's" house. Don't throw it away, you need it to cover up the turd that you leave in said container. Then one day, as they are buttering their toast, they'll dig far enough down and expose said turd, realizing that they have been using butter with shit in it for weeks.

Works best with a new and full tub obviously.

>>5359757

ebaum's original content

Most of these suck or are totally leaving out the "subtle" aspect. Here are some good ones I do occasionally that aren't as humiliating:

- If someone catches you staring at them, continue staring.
- Alternatively, you can stare at people, wait for them to catch you, then swiftly turn away until they stop staring and continue again. Repeat this process until satisfied.
- Whistle at attractive women passing by.
- Make hideous faces at children while their parents aren't looking.
- Sit between people on public transportation (bonus if you're listening to really loud music).
- Chew and slurp obnoxiously loud (more points if you're in a theatre).
- Walk extremely slow in narrow pathways.
- Make a low pitched humming tone as you pass people.
- Put soap on the water knobs in public restrooms.
- Nonchalantly walk between or behind shots as people take pictures of monuments/buildings/whatever.
- If you're at a stop light in a crowded sidewalk, wait for the light to turn green and start to walk. About halfway through, abruptly stop to tie your shoe.

There's more if you want.

>>5359881

truth. a good one, though.

>>5359847
This one is really, really good.

>>5359898
please can i have some more

>>5359520
>>5359520
>Keep a copy (or actually just keep a book cover) of Richard Dawkin's The God Delusion. Before you leave, cover the bible with the cover or replace it with the copy of the book.

Replace "The God Delusion" with Nietzsche's The Antichrist.
Also, do the reverse. Put copies of the bible near copiers of Dawkin's book.

>>5359898
>- Make a low pitched humming tone as you pass people.

ahahahaha

Stand in one spot with a video camera and act like you're recording or taking a picture.
Watch as people look away awkwardly or stop and wait for you to finish.

>>5359898

Ah, the low pitched humming.
I prefer the one where you slowly introduce a low pitched hum in a quiet room. Like an office. Continue it for a while, and then stop. And watch as people look around like, 'Wait, what?'

you kids gotta grow up.

At work, when someone asks for something (pencil, pen, ruler, whatever) I constantly hand them the wrong thing till they realise I'm winding them up

>>5359898
>- Make hideous faces at children while their parents aren't looking.

This
is
my
favourite
past
time
ever.

>>5358067
when rolling up on a light that's been green for a while, go a little slower so a two car gap is formed, then speed up and leave the guy behind you in the dust. the light will turn yellow on him and he'll be going too slow to make it through.

in a public area where there is a lot of pedestrian traffic find a spot to just sit down (if you have business clothing and a briefcase this works really well) and sit down in a full lotus yoga position and hold your hands out in that gay ass housewife meditation posture and sit there and just say 'ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm' 'ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm'

Just stare. People get freaked out by expressionless staring.

not subtle at all. Throw popcorn at people in the further rows at the movies, and then laugh. Escalate in intensity as the movie goes on. This works best when you are teamed up in a gang.

when you talk to people lean your head forward and down so that you have to look up at them in order to maintain eye contact - do everything else exactly the same and remain non threatening

this SERIOUSLY FUCKS WITH PEOPLE

pic somewhat related although the key isn't to overdo it.

>>5360053
my friend does that sometimes, it's fucking hilarious

if somebody is chewing gum, start chewing as if you had gum too and don't draw any attention to it

if you're at a red light (walking) and somebody is jogging on the spot, walk on the spot and look at them and shrug (i stole this from the tv machine)

>>5360104
Enjoy getting raped.

>>5360145
Enjoy getting you ass kicked.

>>5360127
THIS
Just stare at people on the bus or the train. They fucking freak out

>>5359898
>>5359948
>>5359976

What's this about low-pitched humming?

throw up gang signs to middle class lame square white people as if you expect them to fully understand and throw up a sign back to you