You're an utter cunt, but I wouldn't expect anything less from a thug-for-hire.

Poor raccoons =[.

I feel more sympathy towards animals than human beings. It's weird.

Other than that, sounds like you guys have a blast! AND GET PAID! Dream job right thur

you are fucking awesome in my book

WHAT DID THE RACOONS DO TO YOU!??!

Five bucks says OP works for Wackenhut, a firm who loses a new contract every day because it's full of people like him

I worked as a paramedic. I am not going to tell you how we treated drugged up teenage girls. Use your imagination.

>>4953645
>>4953682

OP here, just to be clear I didn't hurt the raccoons and I hate the guy who did. Other than that and the homeless spraaying I enjoy doing all the other shit.

>>4953716
I still think that you're a cunt for not defending the homeless and the racoons, and for having no sense of professionalism or respect for others' property.

Everything here is fine except fucking with the homeless. Those guys are mostly moderately to severely mentally ill. It's not right to pick on the crazies.

>>4953704

Every security company is full of assholes like me. Then they become cops and do even worse shit lol.

>>4953705
Or how many shirts you've cut open when you didn't really need to.

>>4953705

fap fap fap. Give her the kiss of life with tongue.

>>4953838
Dumb kids who tried to kill themselves with sleeping pills were usally pretty fun too.

However, being a hot female greatly enhances your chances that we actually care about your well-being.

>>4953776
Nah, who is not good enough (you wouldn't think that is possible) goes and works for private security

>>4953908
"hey watch it she might get a bruise... and we wouldnt want that would we *stroke side of face* .... "

>>4953973

I would jizz on her face and take thumbs up pics on the way to the hospital :D

>>4953973
They look so cute before they wake up and realize they were not anyhwere near a fatal dose and can enjoy HORRIBLE headaches for the rest of the day.

>>4953990
Taking pictures is strictly forbidden, but great fun. Think REALLY drunk girls.

New life dream, be a paramedic. It's information like this that make me want to get a good job.

I require more terrible employee stories. They amuse me.

OP how much do you make?

>>4954237
11 an hour.

>>4954200

I concur. More stories! I know some of you cunts must have a job.

>>4954280

>11 an hour

inb4 poverty.

Yeah, you're a faggot OP.
fucking rent a cop.
i hate fags like you

>>4954330

That's ok I hate fags like me too.

i work at a pizza place delivering orders, we have these small shitty underpowered beat down cars we torture daily

the boss is cool as fuck too he's pretty young and understanding and always respects us he's a chill guy he pays on time and will give you a day off every now and then if you ask him

the only time we shift gears is when the car reaches its rev limiter, handbrake turns all the time, if we feel like it we park the car a street or two away and take a quick nap even if its a busy day, we never hurry for anything i've delivered pizzas 2 hours after the order was made even though we say we get to you in 40 minutes at most

oh boy

>>4954366
Oh my god. What did the people say to you?

>mistreating the homeless
>animal cruelty

Fuck you, OP. You and you coworkers deserves to die.

>>4954366
Ahaha nice. We get to drive pretty decent cars and we beat the fuck out of them. My faves are the crown vic interceptors. You can drift around every corner in those.

>>4954398

I'm good to the homeless. Never yet arrested one for trespassing even though I could every day. And I warn em when there are cops around so they don't get done for open container. Sometimes I'll buy them a meal and one night I bought a pack of bud light and went around handing em out. Last kwanzaa I handed out packs of marlboros to the black ones. We've also saved the lives of a few we've found passed out in the snow etc...