>>4335132
The psychological difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that one burns energy in social situations, while the other gains energy in social situations.
Introversion doesn't necessarily mean inept, although it often does.

One's limitations are part of their personality, just like their preferences. And both can change.

>>4335185

This. Does going out and partying make you wired after you leave or does it leave you tired? If it's the former, then you were probably an extrovert all along but were just too socially inept to get the stimulation you needed.

The fact that you are even asking such a question proves you're not an introvert.

>>4335201
Oh dear oh dear. Where do I start?

>>4335185
Yea, I clumped up the definition with introversion with other personality traits but the same point applies.

Basically, people aren't one way or another naturally, and that if someone doesn't want to have a loner personality or celibate lifestyle, they don't have to.

I see people clutching onto this label of themselves because humans love to be right about things.

It's like that one guy who clings to his special story about how the love of his life left him and that he'll never be the same afterwards. It's just sad that so many people in the world accept mediocre lives.

>>4335262
Different people have different ideas of 'medicore' as well. Diversity is a surprisingly diverse thing.

>>4335262
Interesting, because I find the prospect of going out to bars with the express purpose of drinking and bedding women to be a "mediocre life" and yet you've thrust yourself full bore into one.

>>4335314
If you truly do not like socializing or meeting woman than this post doesn't apply to you.

I'm talking about people who actually want things but are too afraid to change their identity label.

>>4335345
Fair enough, I suppose, but you have to wonder whether they prefer complaining about their condition better than actually fixing it.

>>4335306
Yea.

But when people say things like "I can't do that" when talking about girls, they obviously want a change in their behavior.

Introvert is not defined as "doesn't like people" (that's antisocial) but rather as "doesn't like crowds and needs time alone frequently."

>>4335357
I wonder that too.

Obviously, it's much easier on the ego to just complain about it rather than take action. It just kind of bums me out that some of my friends are stuck in these ruts.

I've always been good socially. People like me.
Sometimes I really prefer to be alone, though. I guess a real introvert is just like this all the time. Everybody else just sucks at people.

>>4335387
>"doesn't like people" (that's antisocial)
somebody's incorrect
hint: it's you

>>4335387
I don't think I ever said the phrase 'doesn't like people.'

I probably shouldn't of used the word introvert.

Rather, I don't think people were born with a certain personality but were born with a conditioned one that can be changed to your liking.

>>4335185
I started typing out a long response, but then I realized that this post sums up my opinion.

You are not some magical introvert-who-got-over-it. You are a social retard who learned himself some social skills.

>>4335185
What do you mean by burning and gaining energy? Example?

>>4335415
No, that's antisocial. Not all antisocial is that, but that is antisocial.

>>4335447

Let's use two hypothetical people. We'll call them Bob and John.

Bob is an extrovert. He goes to parties often, talks to new people, makes new friends, etc. He always leaves a party feeling refreshed and restored. His mood will probably be extremely high.

John, however, is introverted. If one can even convince him to come to a party to begin with, he'll usually sit alone or mingle with his closer friends. If left in a position with new people, he will be extremely self-conscious and anxious. When he leaves the party, he will feel exhausted and probably down in mood.

>>4335424
I think you missed my point.

No one is magical, that's the thing, anyone can be whatever personality they want and its not 100 percent dependent on labels or social conditioning.

Except for assburgers, I think they are just fucked socially.

>>4335185
>>4335185
I kind of agree here.
People say I am a sociable person. I have many friends, acquaintances and most of the time I am the center of attention in the group.
But I believe I am a total introvert. I only can trust and love only one friend of mine. I only pretend to act friendly, approachable and nice. But deep inside I am totally different.
When I came to a party I feel all drained of energy. Especially if I am the main host or the center of attention.

>>4335480
Kind of a tough example to use.

There are so many factors in social scenarios that can affect your mood.

If Bob went off in the wilderness for three years and came back to society, of course his socialization will be off. He'll probably be drained after his first social interaction because it's so much stimuli that he isn't used to.

Or Jim, the introvert, he could of had an exceptional night. Maybe he met a person that was really easy to talk to and shared a lot of the same interests. Would he still feel drained afterwards?

And why do some people feel drained and some energized afterwards? If my whole life I was told that I was a loser and then every time I tried to socialize I would fail and feel bad about myself. I'd probably feel pretty drained after most cases.

Yet, if for some reason, some random thing made me confident socially as a young child, then I just kept this trait in me that led me to be an extrovert-like person.

I just don't think it's a trait you are born with.

Being an introvert doesn't mean being anti-social. You could probally find a decemt description on wikipedia. I'm way to tired to it myself.

>>4335551
I don't think human compassion has anything to do with being introverted or extroverted.

Also, people get energized by action. Sometimes I go to a party and I feel antisocial or down. If I force myself to talk to people and plunge in, I eventually snap out of it and get energized and things start to click and fun happens. Perhaps this is the extrovert energy.

Its energy based on action as opposed to just sitting around inside your head.

>>4335555

I never said it was something you're born with, but it sure as hell is ingrained into you. It's something that develops from your earliest social interactions, and often continues throughout one's life.

Just because it's a learned behavior/demeanor, it doesn't make it suddenly easy to "stop."

If I learned to do something one way, and continued to do it that way for 20 something years, fucking right it's gonna be hard to change it.

And really, it's those good experiences introverts need. They need good social interactions at a constant rate to boost their confidence.

But the world's simply not that simple.

>eventually my introvert ways faded away
You weren't an introvert to begin with then. You were simply shy. There is a huge difference.

>>4335623
I'm not saying it's an easy transition, it was hard as fuck, but it doesn't mean it'll take another 20 years to stop.

All I'm saying is that your social skills, introvert/extrovert, personanlity whatever you want to call it, is something conditioned and not the-end-all-be-all of one's existence.

Not saying it's easy to change, but it's possible if you want to.

>>4335653
I wasn't anything to begin with.

>>4335685
>it's possible if you want to.

For most, better to be unhappy where you're at than to change in order to get somewhere and fail.

I know regardless of the situation it takes a huge effort for me to be social. I dont have trouble talking to people, I'd just rather keep to myself. Even close friends I can do without until they happen to call (although I feel bad if I think I haven't spent enough time with them)

how are you even an introvert if you dont enjoy being introverted

Myself, the part of me that is not seen by other people (my thoughts, dreams, fantasies, etc.) is a bit bigger than the part of me that I show to the world. I used to be more like this but have worked hard at being more social, and now I don't really have a problem talking with people, even though it is still exhausting, and a bit overwhelming in very large crowds. Introversion isn't a black or white thing, there are degrees of it, and while you may never truly become an extrovert if you aren't, you can get a lot farther in the world than you think if you put some genuine effort into it.

>>4335702
You can't really fail though as long as you enjoy the process.

Eventually you will make a friend, meet girls, have fun. Even bad nights when you fail, where a girl denies you down, where a guy is a douchebag etc. Those nights are still fun/funny.

When you think back on all the stories you have, the experiences of your life, do the good ones involve other people, involve action or do they involve sitting around thinking and not taking action.

Maybe some people really do enjoy a life of nonaction, but not me and not most of the people I've met in my life.

This is very interesting news to me, as I've had a very similar experience.

In highschool (Ausfag here, grad at 17), I was a nerd, geek, loser. I got a hell of a time off the 'cool kids' until senior year (grade 12); even then, I only escaped the usual bullshit by basically forming an enclave of outcasts. I was resigned to intelligence despite everyone else; I didn't care about being uncool and not going to parties because it was too much bullshit to play the game.

After attending University for a while, I'm beginning to really hit my stride socially. I've made a lot of friends from a range of groups, including a group of female friends who seem keen on my company; I've been told by one of them that I am a 'social genius', and really very dynamic and such. I've been invited to parties, and had fun there, which surprised me a lot.

I always had myself down as an introvert, in my head. My self-image had me down as a solitary type. What I'm discovering is that I am still very introspective, and I like my own company. I like sitting by myself and thinking, I don't need people to be happy. However, I can also be very sociable and enjoy it - if need be, I am the kind of person who drives conversations, makes jokes, gets things organised. A hub of social activity, sort've thing.

Attention introverts: it doesn't exist.

'Charisma' exists, but it can be developed and worked on. You just need to use all of that energy you previously channeled inwards to drive your outer force of personality, and soon enough you'll be as social and confident as you want to be.

I'm starting to feel kind of trolled here.

>>4335685
>I wasn't anything to begin with
Don't be so hard on yourself, man.

I KID, I KIIID...

Seriously though, I recall stumbling across several studies over the years which showed profound differences with the brain chemistry and activity between introverts and extroverts. It's much more than just an interesting theory that someone happened to conjure up one day and pen down.

I, myself am an introvert and have very few problems socializing with other people. I have no real reservations or anxieties. On the contrary, I love the company of others. However, I absolutely DO notice the "drain" so commonly associated with introverted people, as well as the "unnatural" feeling whilst being in social situations (feeling like an actor, or fake, to appease others and 'play the game').

About the only issue I occasionally deal with is not clarifying what I am speaking about well enough. It's yet another trait that introverts seem to share. We have the unfortunate habit of subconsciously assuming that everyone can somehow read our thoughts and expect them to 'fill in the blanks', leaving others a little confused when they try to interpret what we're saying to them. It's all thanks to the way our though process works, and all the internal monologues we carry on. It's tough to remember when to switch that off. Heh.

There are physiological differences in the brains of introverts and extroverts.

/thread

>>4335765
>soon enough you'll be as social and confident as you want to be.

Pay more attention, broseph.

Introversion is about how you relate to objects and process information. It does not necessarily have anything to do with how social you are.

>>4335782
OMG YOU ARE INTROVERT CLEARLY THIS IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOU MUST BE SO UNHAPPY

>>4335793
Are these present through birth or conditioning?

>>4335808
Explain. Everything I've read about introversion/extroversion has social components

>>4335782
I am very much like you. I smiled when you mentioned internal monologues. I do that all the time. Now I need to sleep, for I have class in the morning.

>>4335839
Of course if you are alone more and not taking any action you will be thinking more and having more internal dialogue.

If you are doing actions which do not involve constant thought, then the internal monologue will stop. Like if you are busy at work, playing sports, talking to people.

>>4335835
That's because most people use the colloquial definition of the words. Sociability and Extroversion are highly correlated, but lots of Extroverts spend time without other people as well, but they're still extroverted.

The simplest way to describe it would be that Extroverts prefer interaction and Introverts prefer contemplation. Interaction very often takes the form of socializing, but it doesn't have to.

And not to make Extroverts sound dumb since they don't prefer contemplation, because they often just learn better through discussion, which would be interacting.

It's rare for someone to be 100% either way, too (obviously...)

http://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Jung/types.htm
excerpts from Carl Jung's Psychological Types, which is where the ideas of Intro/Extroversion were first popularized.

>>4335835
Introverts don't necessarily require outside stimuli to energize themselves and keep their brain active. That's why you see so many introverted people that appear to be "loners". They're actually perfectly content and happy whilst alone, because they're fully capable of entertaining themselves. The problem, or "drain", arises because when put into situations with an excess of outside stimuli (social gatherings, etc), which extroverts feed off of, the introvert's brain starts processing everything all at once. So combine that with their already hyperactive thoughts, and it's like sensory overload. They need sufficient downtime after a while to recuperate. This isn't a crippling problem like anxiety, shyness, or esteem issues. It's just that we can't keep up with extroverts in those kinds of situations. Shit wears us out, brah! Even if we are enjoying it. :3

I can relate to what's been said in this thread.

I enjoy meeting people, and I've discovered I'm quite good at it, too. But, like OP, for the first 20 years of my life I had few friends, did not meet people at weekends or evenings and rarely went to parties.

That has changed now, and I really enjoy meeting people and talking to them, getting to know them and, of course, meeting girls.

But... when I come home after an evening of meeting people, while I feel goodand like I accomplished something, I'm also tired as hell, like after an intense exam when you've racked your brain for 5 hours trying to solve a math problem. I'm too tired to think or do anything and my body goes on autopilot (well, the degree varies). The next day, forget meeting anyone - I just want to be home in front of the TV watching some scifi shows or fiddling with my computer or whatever. Social situations drain me of energy, but I still see the benefit from them.

So yeah, that's really the whole introvert/extrovert thing - it has little to do with social skills and more with how you respond to social situations.

>>4335866
>then the internal monologue will stop.
See, that's just the thing. They don't. Even when we're out with friends or at work, we're busily thinking about umpteen different things at once. It can be a bit cumbersome at times.

>>4335905
Interesting.

What does the drain actually come from though? Just too much external stimuli?

>>4335918
When I first started going out to socialize I was in my head too and it wasn't a good feeling.

Once you get into the zone though and are actually having fun, the internal monologue stops and you can be in the moment.

It's kind of like when you are playing a sport and aren't thinking of what to do, rather just doing it.

>>4335911
Alright, I think I may be starting to understand what some of you have been saying about the energy thing and maybe it is not something people can merely get over.

I myself feel the opposite in social scenerios. Sometimes I go out and feel like I have no energy and by socializing and talking to people I feel less tired and more full of energy and life.

>>4335949
Not too much external stimuli, just an excess of stimuli altogether. The outside environment just fills too much water in our glass, so to speak. Just today I was out having dinner with a few good friends of mine, eating and chatting. All the while I was thinking about our conversation, a project I was planing on for work the next day, and wondering how blind people perceive dreams if they were born without sight. Simply because I remembered a commercial I had seen on tv earlier that day with a blind man on it. I forget what it was for.

How fucked up is that? Heh.

>>4335985
I wonder if meditation could help this if it was a problem.

>>4335985
Oh yea, and I figure blind people dream without sight and just have dreams like we do based off of our daily experiences. They probably just use their other senses in their dreams.

Also, how do they wake up from a dream? That'd be weird just being somewhere and then you are in your bed, still everything black though like your dream.

>>4336026
>Also, how do they wake up from a dream?
Haha! This is what I'm saying. It must be so bizarre.

>>4335955
I can't shut my brain down like that, and to be honest I don't want to. My brain has this thing that triggers "degrees of separation"-esque moments when if someone says certain things, my mind goes off and connects to another topic and another. Next thing I know I'm chuckling to myself about something entirely unrelated to what was said for me. It's the same mechanism that helps me in exams so I don't mind it. If I absolutely positively have to gum it up a bit, take a drink, but even then I still have internal monologue.

>>4336112
It's really nice to stop the thinking, you should at least give it a shot.

Try meditation, or go surfing. The now is a great place to be.