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05/24/09(Sun)03:22:12 No.4252225I
was always socially retarded. I never made friends in my town. I went
to high school in other town, I made very few friends. Now I go to
college in a more distant town, I travel everyday from my home. Today I
don't think there is someone who I could call "friend", I did spend
much time going all emo and ronery about this, but eventually I said
"fuck this shit, I don't need anyone" with time I became more confident
and assertive, but I'm still as lonely as always, I just force myself
to feel happy, but there are time when I remind this and I start to
wonder how does it feel to hug someone just because you love that
person and that person loves you back; or how does it feel when you
travel in bus with a good friend and she fells asleep in your shoulder
and you put your head over hers to try sleep too, just because you have
some kind mutual of mutual affect. I feel so pathetic, the smallest
pieces of human contact or care mean a lot to me.
So there it is robots, thanks for reminding me why I'm at home tonite |