I killed your mother.

>>4187125
>your

Have you passed grade 1 English class?

That's called vandalism you piece of shit. I hope you get arrested, sent to prison and bum raped by Islamic extremists.

>>4187135
have you, retard?

>>4187135

Splendid troll, 10/10. Will rage agin.

i pretend I'm an ignorant athiest around people who believe in god and pretend I'm a religious hick around athiests.

>>4187135
That is some quality trolling there.

In the morning when I leave for work and my TV addicted roommate is passed out on the couch, I hide the remote somewhere in the apartment.

ill stay stopped when the light turns green for 5-7 secs sometimes

Convinced this girl that you have to pay for your name when you're born and that vowels are expensive, that's why a lot of Africans have mostly consonants. Dumbass.

As a child I liked to pierce the plastic of meat packages, the more expensive the cut the better. I'm not even a vegetarian

>>4187180
Dats evil mah nigga...

Evil!

I put ramen noodles in the toilet cistern in my halls of residence to make the niggers on my landing think they had worms, RL shitstorm happened and many lulz were had, by me at least..

I remember there was one anon who used to work at Zavvi and whenever somebody bought some porn he wouldn't scan it so when they exited the store the alarm would go off and the guy would have his bag checked.

I reverse pickpocket people, resulting in people with pockets full of M&Ms, Candy Corn, and/or sunflower seeds.

>>4187121

Turned several signs around or switched them on public bathrooms, climbed in a friend's window and placed a chair in the middle of their room randomly, random pranks that are so common I need not list them, etc.

Left notes in communal mens-only kitchens saying "I hate you all because I'm jealous of your incredibly erotic homosexual adventures, also I stole your chocolates" and signed them with the name of someone living in the dorm the kitchen is attached to (also stealing the chocs).

Obtained the master key, found a stray kitten, and put it in some random person's room (this was very successful and hilarious as it confused the shit out of them, but I chose a nice person who simply reported there was a kitten in their room and it was taken to an animal shelter the next day).

I will fart in class and blame it on other people, and cause mass chaos

also I buy fake bugs and put them in food areas

I take on a Colbert like personality when folks are talking about politics, taking the extreme of their own views.

Example (to a republican):
Yeah I hate poor people too, fuck welfare. Make them pay taxes for those of us in corporations actually doing something.

The less intelligent think I'm serious, the more intelligent at least wonder.

>>4187243
that is win

>>4187240
oh god i would be horrified

do you but them in the bowl or in the tank?

>>4187203


When I was working as a cashier at Waldbaums, if I had a nasty customer, I would make sure I would do that as I was bagging. If they didn't have meat it was something else, fruit, vegetable, bread.

>>4187243

This is awesome.

I threw a box of magnum condoms into a little old lady's cart while she wasn't looking.

>>4187256
So adorable... adorablox...

>>4187258
Nick you asshole (no pun intended)

Now I know why you anti-social retards don't have any friends. You fucking dickheads.

>>4187272
Tank, that way the 'worms' only appear when they flush making it more realistic.

>>4187243

Haha! I can't believe anybody remembered me posting that! You've totally made my day bro. Bummer they went bust, I work as a waiter in a crappy pub now which is no fun at all.

>>4187296

And why, pray, are YOU here, then?

hahaha im gonna try some of these they're great! awesome RL trolling guize.

i pissed and dipped my brothers toothbrush in the toilet afew weeks ago,the following night (right after he brushed his teeth)him and his GF were making out and having sex.....enjoy your AIDS LOL

i have a poor friend who has another friend who works and is still on welfare even though he dosent need it,so i ratted on the fucker.....enjoy your PRISON LOL

i went into a sex shop and returned a gimp suit with a buttplug on the inside(it was from another shop lol...used btw)and before i returned it my friend volunteered to cut his arm a little to put the blood on the buttplug lol the shopkeeper was shocked beyond belief....enjoy your AIDS LOL

Once I was out with some friends and we decided to call another guy (who wasn't with us) and say one of us had got lost. We called him for the whole afternoon, telling him to call her, asking where could she be, she also called him begging for help, etc.

The day after she didn't go to school because she was sick. He got so worried I thought he was going to call the cops or something. Shit was so cash.

i had sex with my ex without a condom,but before we did it,i had a bath because i shat myself the night before(very,very drunk lol)and it had dried and stuck to my hairs near the perenium area,and it hurt to pull them out so i had a hot bath and pulled my skin back in the pooey water and proceeded to troll my ex by shagging her with my shitty willy,this happened last year and she had a HIV scare from a rash she got in there.

Shit Was So Cash.

>>4187318
None of that shits funny, you fucking freak.

At my college, there was some pretentious, hipster faggots with a booth set up trying to get everyone to see what they were doing. I bit in, so I went over to their public booth.

Basically, they were these protesters who were protesting pharmaceutical companies for false advertising, saying that the over-the-counter sleeping pills were just sugar pills, and people were just falling for the "placebo effect." They were so obnoxious and had that "everyone is a sheep" attitude, so I called the police, saying that someone was threatening to overdose with sleeping pills on campus.

He was arrested and forced into the back of an ambulance.

>>4187308

>Bummer they went bust, I work as a waiter in a crappy pub now which is no fun at all.

Hahaha, it's karma come back round to get you. Reap what you sew loser.

>>4187318
>>4187318
>>4187318
grats on ruining the thread newfag

Are you guys like 9 years old or what?

>>4187318
awesome stroies brah, i shuld try some sometime.

this one time i mixed up my roofies with ground up ecstasy pills and slipped this chick enough e to down an elephant.

shit was pretty lulzy.

>>4187392
I'm sorry you fail at practical jokes.

i used to take frozen apple juice cups from the cafeteria and leave a frozen circle of apple juice on the floor of the boys bathroom/ or whatever empty room i could find

they thought somebody was pissing in the classrooms for my entire 6-8th grade years

>>4187411
Well I'm sorry you fail at growing up.

But let's not start an internet arguement, there are few things as pointless.

Carry on with your thread.

>>4187369
>>4187381
thanks for eating my fucking tasty troll-cum fat nigger faggits

>>4187379

Fuck you dude, I rule and you suck.

>>4187400
haha cool overdose trolling bro.

PROTIP:wank off and cum into your friend/brother/fathers hairgel (only works if it is the same color as cum)

I'm a telemarketer.

annoyyoublox

>>4187318
major fail, you really suck

Tried to get the DJ at my prom to play Never Gonna Give You Up. He promised he would and never did.

What an asshole. I guess that was a fail troll.

Oh yeah and one of my vocab words was "moot" and when we were reviewing it I started laughing uncontrollably when someone said "moot."

>>4187449
fucking newfag excuse

>>4187318
I once knew this really annoying faggot who was always a complete jackass and seemed to think he was such an amazing person for doing extremely stupid and nonsensical shit.

So, one night, I broke into his house, tied him up, and slowly tortured him for a few hours before finally burying him alive in the backyard of his house to slowly suffocate.

Enjoy your DEAD LOL

>>4187470
>>4187400
>>4187318
Samefag AND a newfag.
Please, leave now.

If I'm in a place with other people, I pretend to look at something; let's say the wall right, and make a fucked up face like "what the fucking shit is that." The person who's looking at you will look where you're looking EVERY TIME. It's not really trolling but it makes my bus rides not shitty.

OP is a righteous man who knows the difference between trolling and acting out

I took a shit on my principal's car right after we graduated, with my toga thing and everything.

>>4187540
Oh yeah, I remember Larry! Cool guy.

(I love anyone who gets the reference)

I always act as if I'm more stupid than I am, generally. As if I don't get jokes, etc, and as if I'm just stupid and incompetent when it comes to history. "French revolution... like when they built that tower?", things like that.

Most people fall for it and just facepalm, although I'm actually rather smart I'd like to think; just love peoples reactions.

>>4187565
i read this similar thing somewhere, i think on /sh/, where you do that at a mall and have your friends in on it too, so you act like you don't know each other and are just shopping when one of you looks at the ceiling and points and you get all your friends to look up at it too. then you accumulate a whole fucking crowd of people looking up at the ceiling trying to figure out what the fuck is up there.
tried it irl and it was fucking hilarious.

Anyone remember there?

>>4187587
I'll never forget about him...

>>4187513
I got rickrolled at a clothing store some days ago. Oddly enough, everyone around me also made this FFFFFFFFFFFF face, and I thought I was pretty much the only 'channer in my town.

>>4187372

>they were these protesters who were protesting

O RLY?

In school I hung my ass off the toilet seat and shit on the floor.

Debie's single-serving brownies with nuts

its like clay that you can form into mock shit. throw it on the floor by where a janitor is cleaning, watch as they come up to it, examine it with bewilderment, and slowly motion to scoop it.

9th grade cafeteria

>>4187600
Just got an even better idea than this. Go a few floors up where there are tons of people then gather around the railing and start shouting, pointing, and taking pictures with your cell phone as if someone had jumped and killed themselves.

sometimes i wear a diaper to the mall and poop in it

-Some guy messaged me at random on MSN thinking I was from his TrackMania forum. I got his password and ruined his shit within about 15 minutes.

-Some other random guy got me on AIM asking how to grow weed. I told him to salt the plants and keep coming back for advice, and to let me know when the plants started growing. He kept coming back. The plants didn't keep growing.

-Some girl asked me how to bleach her hair and I gave her a "recipe" of laundry bleach and water to leave in for a few minutes. I never saw her again.

Can't think of any others at the moment.

My most recent irl troll happened just last week.
During lunch, I had the third nosebleed in my life. I walked to the washroom, to deal with it as best I could, that is to say, with a shitload of tissues. By the time it stopped bleeding I had half a box worth of bloodied tissues piled nicely on top of the sink. Never one to waste such a golden opportunity, I decided the most appropriate place for the used tissues, rather than the boring old garbage bin, would be the 4 toilets behind me. I distributed the tissues among them, my only regret is not being able to see the reactions of the students.

>>4187513
9/10

commendable

when my parents and grandparents give me bullshit about how i need to find a girlfriend or a wife or whatever, I go off on misogynistic rants about how women are all attracted to assholes, how most of them would rather be with someone that beats them and tries to control them than be with someone who is shy like i am, and how generally no woman will ever want to have anything to do with me. my dad tends to agree with me on most of the points that i make about women, and everybody ends up fighting with one another. it's great.

Take the liquid packets out of the dispensers in public bathrooms & dump it into the toilets.

My school is pretty shitty, it has a lot of graffiti in the bathrooms, and the janitors don't do anything about it. I like to respond, or alter the graffiti in a way that would make people go 'wat'. For example, there was some kool kid going around the bathrooms writing 'skinhead' on the walls in blue marker. So I though what I'd do was, I'd get a blue marker pretty much exactly the same colour as the kid's, and added the prefix 'fore' to all of his tags, matching the penmanship as close as possible.

>>4187819
liquid packet dispensers?

>>4187832
at first I thought you tried making it "skinforehead" but then i realized im an ass and lol'd

I'm an American who lives in Paris. Whenever I see groups of obnoxious lost tourists (ESPECIALLY if they are the kind which--understandably--propagate anti-Americanism abroad), I like to go up and act very friendly and ask "Do you need help finding something? :)" I then give them horribly wrong directions.

TAKE THAT

i love how you guys are so oldfag you call pranks "IRL TROLLAN LOLZ"

I PUNCHED NICK IN THE FACE

I'll paint a picture for you. My friend and I were bored. We went into the shitty BK to visit a friend who worked there. This giant cunt of a manager screams at one of the employees in front of us, so we start making fun of her secretly and drawing funny (and crude) cartoons about her. We leave to go talk to said friend and one employee finds the mat and shows it to Cunt lady. She freaks the fuck out and kicks us off the premises, not only that, she follows us to the car, screaming all the way, threatens to kick MY ass, and tries to get information on my friend's license plate. She broke my phone which I took her to court for, but the stupid cunt lied her way out of it. No matter, she got trolled, hard.

God damn 90% of these "trolls" sound like shit that 16 year old suburbanites do. I fucking hate all of you.

>>4187847
These anons, take the packets of liquid out of them & dump them into toilets.

>>4187914

let me guess she was a negress

Sometimes I make up plots for episodes of Seinfeld that never existed and I see if I can get people to say that they're seen that one before.

>>4187914
Really? She got trolled? You drew doodles of her, and she breaks your phone, with absolutely no negative consequences, and *she* is the one who got trolled?

>>4187808
this wins for me. Be glad that you're in a family that fights about things (unless somebody starts using physical force, or your relatives stop speaking to each other for long times).

>>4187962

She was white actually, I'm guessing trailer trash or something close to ghetto trash.

>>4187956
Oh, I get ya

>>4187977

I wasn't really mad about it, I got a new phone and my parents paid for it.

>>4187967
That's great. Got any good examples? I got a friend I'd love to pull this shit on.

Whenever I'm in a public place reading or texting, I like to slowly walk in front of people's paths as they go to pass me.

Whenever there's a door with a doorstop keeping it open, I pretend to hold it for the person behind me so they hurry to take it from me and say thanks.

OP reminds me, in my first year of high school I took the rolls of TP and threw them in the toilets. This caused flooding once. The next year they got the BIG rolls in locked plastic dispensers like you see in malls.

I piss in the liquid soap dispensers whenever I have the chance. I wonder if anyone notices.

Whenever someone says bless you after I sneeze I say "Thanks! Now the demons won't pull out my soul!" with an enthusiastic shit-eating grin.

When I'm on the highway and someone is speeding behind me or riding my ass I'll trap them by matching the speed of a car next to me. Once I get bored I'll floor it and drive off.

>>4187618

stink bombs

i mix star wars & star trek on purpose.

1. went to a friend's house for the first time. he had so much star wars action figures all over his walls, still in the box. i said "OMG i love star wars! do you have spock?" he turned around slowly and gave me this crazy look.

2. went to see Cloverfield in theaters. saw the preview for the star trek movie that ended with just the huge star trek logo. i gasped and said "STAR WARS!!!". some guy behind me was like "star...TREK"

troll_face.jpg

i find macs on display and turn the volume all the way up and run a script:

>wait 60; say penis penis penis penis penis penis ....ect x 100

walk away inconspicuously and sometimes stay close enough to watch what happens afterwards.

>>4188463

You sound like a raging faggot, why would you say something like that?

>>4187625
No matter how much you try?

I spent three years growing my hair enormously long. As I drive a girly looking car, men overtaking me on the highway would often glance my way.

So I grew a beard, and whenever a douchebag glanced at me I'd give him a huge cockmongler grin.

Also afterwards I convinced a few people I'd been wearing a wig all the time.

I KEEP GETTING MUTED WHY

The only thing I do with any frequency that could be interpreted as trolling is going to Office Depot and setting my laptop up on the desks then playing the vidya, and also playing my DS under the desks themselves. If I'm feeling outdoorsey I'll go to Target and do the same things in the tents.

>>4187628

As a wedding photographer, I have yet to be turned down by a DJ when I request some Rick Astley during the dance. Best if done early in the night while people are still kind of sober enough to be confused, otherwise, drunk white people really get down to the Astley.

I punched Jeff.
asdf

>>4190115

I dont think that counts.

>>4190115

I dont think that counts...

hdsfjshdgkaghsfhahksdgfkhasgfkjg

I put plastiwrap on the school toilets once. Shit was so cash.

i have a few. i work in a grocery store at night (in b4 get a real job etc) and in the bathrooms i take my sharpie and highlight the ass in rest assured that is on the toilet seat protectors. they erase it, and i just write it back. after months of this.. they just leave it there now. haha. also, at this same job they think im awesome, so somtimes i put things in crazy places, and they never think its me. pretty tame really, also pallet jacks are coveted and the other crew loves to take all the good ones from our team. so i hide them. usually i hide one, and use another one.. then when they get there.. im like.. fine you can have mine. all the while another one is safe in hiding.

yeam im lame

Any time a clerk at a store or a waiter asks me how I'm doing my response is always, "I'm SUPER, thanks for asking."

90% of people are surprised with my enthusiasm. 5% of people look at me like I'm a retard and the last 5% actually get the South Park reference.

>>4190259
All things considered I couldn't be better I must say.
I'm super
No nothing bugs me

I often deliberately misinterpret people's statements, either by pretending to mishear a word or using alternative meanings for their phrases.

When someone explains something to me, I'll mutter something that has a glaring logical or factual flaw at a volume that's just audible enough to make out entirely, then say something to the effect of "that makes sense."

Put a piece of shit into the liquid soap.

Best prank I have ever done was a couple of weeks ago. It was a Friday night and I drove some of my mates to the local Leagues Club (kinda like a sports bar). When it was late we decided to leave, I wasn't drinking so I drove. On the way to taking my last mate home, we got stopped at the train tracks, two cars ahead of us was this girl me and my friend had gone to school with, and she was taking one of my other good friends home, who she was seeing at the time. So me and my mate decided it would be funny to follow them, which we did. I kept flicking my fog lights on and off at them, tailgating etc. They finally arrived at my friends house, we knew they didn't know it was us, so I told my friend to get out the car, he's a big dude, about 6'4, weighs about 110kg. Then I remembered I had a cricket bat on my back seat, so I told him to take that. He wound down the window and waved it around for a bit, then got out, walked to the other car, hitting the bat against his other hand. Then suddenly they took off, ripping a burn out out the front of my friends house, which is at the start of a cul de sac, so they had no where to go, I then sat on the hood of my car and rang my friend and told him it was us. They came back and the girl slapped me. Good times.

>>4187472
Not fair. You practice every day.