Finally was my older sister. She was twenty, lazy, and never left her room. We had been together ever since I was born, with us having combining rooms with a door in the middle, but she never really left it anymore except for dinner and to go to the bathroom. She didn't do terrible in high school, but she had been living off my Dad's salary for the last few years. Never had a boyfriend. She wasn't hideous or anything, but she didn't really try to make herself look better than she was.

I didn't know what she did in her room, but I had some ideas. One time, when she wasn't home for once and was out with my Mom, I opened the door that was in between our rooms, and looked to see what she was doing inside. Her computer was on, and she had pictures of naked scene chicks on the screen, kissing. The room was a mess, and her clothes were splattered all along the floor. Not wanting to see anymore, I walked out of the room and never looked back.

This summer was going to be good. I had three months off before I had to go to school, and I was ready to relax and do nothing all the time. I would be just like my sister. Laying back, playing on my computer, and looking at naked scene chicks making out on my screen.

That was until I came home one day from the arcade and found my Dad sitting with my Mom on the living room couch. Not having sex, which was a good thing, but they looked series which meant something big had happened.

I sat down, wanting to know what was going on, and my Mom was smiling. She said that she and my Dad found me a summer job before going off to college. They 'knew' that I needed some more money before going, so they explained that it was a great opportunity to learn a few things before going off.

To me, this was insanity. Why did I have to work when my lazy sister got to stay home and masturbate to lesbian porn? I tried to bring that up, but my Dad said that me and my sister were totally different people. My Mom added that she was at McDonalds looking for the new toy that just came out, and I almost freaked out. Did she sign me up to work at McDonalds?

Luckily, she had not. She said that she was walking out, mad that they didn't have the new stupid dinosaur in, and saw the place right next to McDonalds. It was one of those shitty half arcade-half pizza place things. You know like Chuck-E-Cheese? Kids come, make a mess, eat pizza, and fuck up your life.

Apparently, they had a job opening and looking for teenagers to fill in for the summer. And guess who went in and took my own life into her own hands? Yes, my Mom. She went in, said how charming it was, and asked if I could have the job. Knowing that almost no other kid would want to take this job, the manager said I could have it even though I wasn't fucking there.

I tried to get out of it, but it was too late. My Mom said I worked on Monday, and my Dad agreed. I pleaded that I had other things to do, had a girlfriend, etc, but my father laughed at me and said I never had a girlfriend. My Mom even added insult to injury when she said that she thought I was homosexual.

Knowing they had won and controlled everything in my room, I gave up and went back to my room. On Monday, I would officially be a member of 'Pirate Land Pizza', and I had no say against it.

Hip hip hooray for me...Yeah, fuck my life.

Only read the first paragraph, but I already like it.

Oh awesome, it's story time!

I love you, man.

CRY SOLO, ROBOT.

(cool story bro)

needs moar frosted butts

FUCK YEAH NEW STORY TIEM

Is that it?

If that's it then it sucks

but if there's moar then tell it, and make sure you get fucked oldschool

Welcome to hell.

Oh God, Chuck-E-Cheese.

You should have just opted for a less demeaning job, man. If you HAVE to work, then at least do something that won't make you kill yourself after a day.

>>3859465

That's obviously the opening to a story right there, man.

Pirate Pizza Land.

...I think I've been there before.

Is the author of Cain, Maxxie, Zoe, etc.? If yes, continue, and introduce your character of interest. Otherwise, prove your worth, mortal.

Your Mom and Dad are dicks.

You should divorce them.

Holy shit, I Googled that shit and it actually exists? Fuck that.

>>3859471
Seemed to me like that was it

Plus, I'm not seeing moar. I think OP was just bitching about his damn Summer job

>>3859500

It's the Lee Won/Cain/Zoe guy.

You know it to be true.

Teenager with no girlfriend. Dropped into crazy situation. Awesome happens.

predictions on where this is going anyone?

if this is our resident r9k writer, i assume a hot girl co-worker is in store...

It's GOOD BURGER: THE /r9k/ MOVIE

FUCKING OP STOP DOING THIS SHIT WHERE YOU MAKE US WAIT A DAY FOR UPDATES GO AND FUCKING DIE IN A FIRE

>>3859505

I expect a hot chick working as a pirate, maybe some crazy friend as a cook, and some adventures with pizza.

>>3859502
I figured it was that guy (although Zoe one was the only one I liked), from the "series" instead of "serious"

Also it would make sense since he takes like six fucking hours to continue shit

>>3859511

It's like a television show.

You have to wait for the next installment.

Or maybe this really just is some guy pissed at his summer job.

>>3859519

"series", "serious"...fuck, you caught that? Damn. Really should look over those things.

>>3859502

Does anyone have the Cain, Maxxie, and Lee Won stories saved or archived anywhere? I read Zoe, loved it, and want to read the others too.

mootblax

I expect wacky pizza hijinks or I rage.

>>3859519

also super-late-night updates

Can this just be a continuation of the Zoe story?

The main character is the main character of Zoe, but older and now working at Pizza Pirate Land.

>>3859537

If so, the only thing I can settle for is wild psychotic sex in the ball pit. Seriously Zoe's gotta get fucked.

bloxbox

Good set up for a story.

Your parents are insane, sister is a fucking loser, and you're also a loser but less so.

your parents force you to work at a terrible place...

now go.

Lee Won was way better than Zoe.

Zoe was only liked because of the retard fucking. Lee Won had heart.

>>3859537
God, not that guy. He was an asshole. New protagonist.

>>3859551

Anyone got a link to Lee Won?

wonblox

>>3859537
Oh shit if Amy works at PPLAND that would fucking rock so hard

Please OP do not disappoint again if you're going to take a million fucking hours, get laid this time FFS, Amy, Zoe, or otherwise. And yeah, spellcheck is your friend dude. Hell even just looking over as you mentioned would probably suffice.

Let's see, Cain was an awesome badass that took shit from no one, Leon was a somewhat shy guy that formed a band for friends and girls, and the last guy, Namelass Asshole, was a liar and an asshole.

>>3859557

I think the OP doesn't give a shit, just writes, and posts.

Pretty impressive job that there isn't more mistakes. Only caught the 'serious' one.

lee won definitely had the best plot.

Also, this story's dramatic ending definitely involves his mother's collection being sabotaged.

These stories are fun.

Hopefully this one ends with actual sex.

The last two were such cock tease endings.

i've worked at chuck-e-cheese.

i can tell you right fucking now, its shit. it is hell. it is terrible fucking shit fuck fuck FUCK.

>>3859531
The Leon/Lee Won story is on /rs/, but it's down at the moment. Just search for "Lee Won" on /rs/ when it's back up and you should find it.

Cain was a single thread. It started with a story like this thread, with a guy (the narrator) complaining about a guy named Cain who did all sort of wacky shit. Seeing that, the writer decided to give up on his story and instead just give more information about Cain (which resulted in a thread full of "FUCK YEAH CAIN"s). As far as I know, it's not backed up anywhere, but it MIGHT be on the archive.

Maxxie hasn't been archived either. The lazy bastard never finished the story, he just stopped writing about it one day, and he said that it was because he just didn't know where to make the story go anymore.

so it's

cain, maxxie, lee won, zoe and now lucky

godspeed

It goes on and on and on and on

>>3859578

Maxxie story was awesome.

Kinda like the Zoe one, but the guy was more nice and masturbated more.

OP is going to run out of ideas at some point.

He has to.

Just cut to the part where you fuck your sister.

http://pastebin.com/f43e04b7e

Lee Won story, if anyone still wants it. If someone could post a link to the Cain story and the ending of Zoe, it would be much appreciated.

>>3859551
The story was about Leon and not Lee Won fagget.
Also Lucas > Lee Won.

I must of missed it but how did the Zoe story end? Last I remember he was over at her fathers house and he was telling him to fuck his daughter to make babies that look like his wife.

At least nameless asshole had some balls. He'd have fisted his cunt of a mother in her dick by now

>>3859408
could someone PLEASE post more of these pics? i loved these but lost them all! supposedly there was one where you had to find something or there was some kind of riddle involved....

>>3859594

He's saving for the story after next.

>>3859597

Nameless Narrator fucks with Amy's life, gets her to fight with Zoe, gets her expelled, and sips on a Pepsi while telling Zoe how big of a liar Amy was.

>>3859597
Amy sucked his dick so he stabbed her in the back to get Zoe, then when Zoe was crying he made an ironic comment about lying. Shit end.

Also I don't think this is the Cain OP, the OP for Cain didn't have spelling errors, at least that I can remember.

>>3859578
I looked it up, the first thread (and only one, if I remember correctly) of the Maxxie story, is on the archive. First page of the /r9k/ threads. Just ctrl+f for Angela, it's that thread.

>>3859612

You forgot... he kisses Zoe and calls Amy a liar. Lulz ensues.

blox

Can we get a female POV next time, dammit?

im sick all these guy narrators.

as a girl we need love too

>>3859620

Shut up you whore. That's why you women are always cast into roles like retarded, depressed, and psycho bitches the guy lusts for.

I can already tell this is going to end with the narrator snapping, breaking some McDonald toys, and moving to Canada.

>>3859614
He confessed to it in one of his story threads. He also wrote "CAWWWW CAWWWWWW", "who punched jeff" and was the tripfag Glasses.

I'm probably forgetting some more.

>>3859620
What the living fuck? This is fucking Easter bitch, have some respect. Jesus fucking died because of whores like you. So shut it

>>3859636

He also wrote the twilight vampire thread that made everyone rage. That's the thread where he confessed I remember.

Monday came quickly. The three days of doing nothing but masturbating, watching porn, and eating came to an end, and I hated when I got woken up in the morning by my crazy mother. She came in a horn, like she use to do to me as a kid, and honked it into my ear to wake me up.

She said that a new start of my life was just beginning, and I had to get up. I wanted to tell her to fuck off, but I knew if I did that she would cry, and I would feel like a prick for making my own Mom cry. Throwing on the shittiest clothes I had, hoping they would get me fired, I walked a few blocks to where this Pirate Land Pizza was.

When I got there, I was hoping a gun would drop from the sky and let me shoot myself in the head with it. This place might have been, no, it was, the stupidest looking place I had ever seen. It was rundown as hell, the gigantic pirate head that stood tall over the place, looking like it had been up there for centuries. Instead of having two eyes and an eye patch, it had an eye patch and a hole where an eye used to be. It had 'PIRATE LAND PIZZA' across the front of the restaurant, and I was surprised that one of the letters weren't stolen. Pictures of pizza and pirates were on the windows, how original, and told about the great birthday parties you could have if you came there.

Walking in with nothing but crappy clothes and a crappy look on my face, I saw the inside of hell. It was like Chuck-E-Cheese, but the ripoff version. There was one guy dressed up as a pirate at the door, acting in-character, and welcomed me into the place by saying, 'Welcome to Pirate Land Pizza! If you don't have a great time, I'll have to make you walk the plank!'

I knew the guy was suicidal by the way he looked at me. You could see the sorrow in his eyes. He was probably twenty-six-years-old and had nothing else but this job. It made the depression over this job even worse.

I had to meet with the boss before anything else happened. The place didn't open up until 3:00 PM, but before I could do anything, I had to be cleared by the manager of the whole place. The manager was fucking scary. He was also dressed as a pirate, and he must have been ninety-years-old.

Asking how I was, I said I was fine, and he wanted to know what other experiences I had in working. I told him the truth and said that I only worked once when I was 14 and gotten fired when I took one of the bunnies home as a pet.

Even with my terrible past and lack of experience, he hired me on the spot. He gave me a tour of the place, and I looked at the four main areas of Pirate Pizza Land.

There was the Game Area. This is where all the kids came to waste their parents money by playing games that would only amount in some shitty toy worth 10% of what they spent on the games. They had the usual shit like the water shooting game, the one where you throw basketballs into the basket, Dance Dance Revolution, and skiball, so it wasn't really that different from what I had seen from other places.

The second area was the Eating Area. This was positioned right next to the Game Area. While the kids went off to play games, the parents got a treat by eating the rubbery pizza that was served here. After the kids got bored of the games, they would come over and gulp down some soda with a bit of pizza on the side. It was also pretty normal except the tables were wobbly, the booth seats were hard and uncomfortable, and the tops of the tables looked they had been carved in by knives a thousand times over.

Thirdly, there was hellhole known as the Play Area. They had a slide, a ball bit, and one of those things that you go into and get stuck if you're too big. I knew this place very well because it looked exactly like the one at the old Chuck-E-Cheese that was here when I was six. I had a traumatic experience with a kid trying to kill me in the ball pit because he thought I stole some of his game tickets.

Finally, there was the Kitchen Area. This was where five guys worked on all the crappy pizza and french fries. It was small and connected right to the place where they handed out the toys for the kids. I looked at the stock of prizes and couldn't help but laugh. When some places had XBox 360's as their top prizes, this place had a Nintendo 64 as it's top prize. If you were lucky enough to get 3,000 tickets, you could be lucky to own something that you could find for $10 in a bin.

Now seeing all the places, I was asked where I wanted to work. I could work the front like the guy that was going to commit suicide before he was thirty; work in the Game Area and make kids don't break out into fights over who won the stupid shooting game; work as a waiter and bring the shitty food to the people; or I could work in the Play Area and make sure to save anyone who could be killed by drowning in the ball pit. I looked at which one would make the least horrible experience with kids, and I said I would be a waiter.

This was the wrong choice, people. When I took the waiter position, I did not know what also would come with it. Walking into the back room with the manager that looked like he could die any second, he showed me to what I had to wear.

No, it was not a pirate suit. It was much worse than a stupid pirate suit.

"This is the one and only Lucky the Pirate Pizza Dog!" the manager exclaimed to me, showing me the pink dog suit that they had behind a bunch of empty brown boxes. I was sure the last Lucky just quit, and they hired me to fill his damn position. Whatever I chose, they would have given me this damn suit. "Sorry if it's a little worn out. We'll give it a wash before you wear it tonight."

"Thanks," I muttered, staring him in the eyes, taking the pink suit, and sitting down on one of the only not empty boxes. "I really look forward to working here."

That night, a kid almost drowned. Why did he, you ask? Blame it on Lucky the Pirate Pizza Dog.

I'm already laughing hard.

A pink pizza pirate dog, eh?

>Lucky the Pirate Pizza Dog

You just got Bel-Aired by the manager.

don't demean me with your young adult foreshadowing techniques, you jackass

FUCK YEAH NINTENDO 64!

Greatest prize ever.

This place sounds epic.

They must make a killing.

>she was online and from Korea
>just using me for money to support her porn site
YOU WERE SENDING HER MONEY?

>>3859620
Noone wants to read a story about some whore and how she can't decide which shoes to buy OMG!

Any site that sells Nintendo 64's is a place that is cool.

>>3859636
>confessed

Yeah I really believe he wrote all that shit and wasn't just lying out his asshole

I would have already quit, said fuck you to everyone, and been outta there.

No way I am dressing up in a pink bitch suit.

>>3859756

The OP wrote Lee Won/Maxxie/Cain/Vampire Boyfriend

That's it.

>>3859697
>That night, a kid almost drowned. Why did he, you ask? Blame it on Lucky the Pirate Pizza Dog.

Don't be a fag Leon.

>>3859757
Woop woop! We are at Tough Guy Alert Alpha!

So does this mean you physically try to kill a kid to get out of your job?

I can't tell the main guy's personality.

Is he an asshole or not? He's pissed and cynical, but he was forced into a job while his fatass sister gets to stay home when she's 20.

>>3859756
It was in a story thread. It was written the exact same way as every story he's ever written, and posted at around the same time (i.e between midnight and ~6am). He also posted with Glasses's trip.

>>3859636
There's no way he wrote "who punched jeff"

That wasn't some big well written story. It was just one story in one post in a thread full of stories and it just stood out for being awesome. I don't see any reason to think it was written by the same guy.

>>3859793
Training praps? Testing his wings?

>>3859791
>>3859793

Exactly. The guy who posted with the Glasses trip was a fake and showed a fake.

OP has only written Maxxie/Cain/Lee Won and a few smaller stories.

Fuck the other stories.

Just focus on this one, shit.

It's humorous so far.

Oh god not this again, I refuse to stay up till 4AM waiting for a fucking update then being super tired the next day.

I'm boycotting this story then getting it from pastebin when it's finished.

Anon out.

>>3859833

You'll be back in an hour.

>>3859833
Yeah same here, in fact, I'm gonna start the saging now

For every post you make, I will take off the sage

keep it up OP!

You have a knack for this.

OP has no life of it's own and still finds way to make it look like other people are worse of than him.

AWESOME

I have no life of my own and OP still finds way to make it look like he's worse of than me.

AWESOME

Is the girl in the picture by chance supposed to be the singer for Screaming Females?

for the love of god please keep this thread bumped, i NEED sleep as much as i'd love to stick around for the rest. goodnight, lucky!

The guy does like two updates a night, sleeps, and then parties and then comes back and writes more.

I LIEK STORIES HURR DURR WRITE SOME MORE

>>3860059
>>3860083
Fucking let it die then, maybe next time he won't just fucking leave and dick around with it

This thread was brought to you by Pirate Land Pizza.

WOW COOL STORY OP POST IT AGAIN SO I CAN TL:DR NOT READ IT ALL OVER AGAIN

>>3860103

Dude, stop being such a prick. It's not like you're paying his ass to write. If you paid him, then yeah, be pissed. Shit.

This thread is basically the plot to Adventureland.

>>3860181

Adventureland is the same plot as Good Burger.

>>3860195
Home of the Good Burger!?!

>>3860151
tl;dr -
lucky hates boring life,
he can't wait to go cross country for college,
before college his weird parents make him take a crappy summer job,
the job's at a crappy chuck e cheese rip off joint,
the manager's over 9000 years old,
the greeter is about to an hero.
he has to wear a fruity "lucky the pirate dog" costume,
he works as a waiter,
and he saves a brat from the ball pit.

OP, you said you had never a girlfriend

then I got to the part where you described your sister and I thought wincest was coming

but I was wrong, however you are a good storyteller, go on if you can.

This worked last time...

Y'all can pack up and go home. OP has pissed off.

>>3860197
Fucking Kingdom of the Good Burger, sir

>>3860329
And may I take your order?

Still no update. Lame.

First night at Pirate Pizza Land was approaching, and I took a nap in the backroom for a few hours before my first shift. I wanted to go home, take a shower, and all that, but Paulie, the fossil manager, said that I had to stay because he could need me at anytime. He took the suit to wash, left me in the dusty backroom with all the boxes of trash, and I fell asleep.

When he woke me up it was around 6:00 PM, and he wanted me to start in a few minutes. I could tell it was louder out now and much more bright outside the door, so I knew that it must be pretty packed. Surprising, I didn't think parents would be such bastards to bring their kids to this place. Couldn't they have taken them to somewhere that didn't suck?

Paulie threw me the now supposedly clean Lucky suit, and I started to put it over my clothing. He shook his head, said that I couldn't wear a shirt or jeans under the costume, and said to strip down. I looked at him weird, said that there was no way I was stripping down in front of him, and the old man closed the door and waited for me to be done.

Putting on this suit was awful. This bastard didn't clean it at all. It smelled like pizza, sweat, and vomit. I was going to ask why this guy didn't clean it, but I didn't want to hear some story about some middle-aged guy throwing up in it to start my night. When I had the whole pink costume on, I could barely see. I wiped the dust out of the holes I looked out of it, and I could finally check what I looked like to the world.

Wow, I looked...really gay. Nothing against homosexual people, but I looked like I was going to a pride rally. Lucky the Pizza Pirate Dog was fully in pink, an eye patch, and had a smiling pirate in the center of his chest. The only good thing about this was that no one could actually tell it was me under here.

Getting out of the room, I was attacked with sounds of young kids screaming and smells of terrible pizza. Paulie looked at me, told me that I looked perfect, and patted me on the back. He said to hold on a second, to wait right here, and walked a little bit in front of me with a limp in his right leg.

From somewhere he got a gigantic orange megaphone, turned it up, and screamed, "WELCOME BOYS, GIRLS, AND PARENTS! I AM PROUD TO INTRODUCE LUCKY THE PIRATE PIZZA DOG!"

He was kidding me, right? I thought I was working to be a waiter, not to be some crappy mascot for a crappy food place in the middle of some shitty town that I wanted out of. The kids rushed to me one by one, and I got almost trampled on by some little boy who went right for my leg.

Paulie came over, whispered to talk to the kids for the while, and left me stranded in the middle of demons jumping over me. The parents were with them, but they didn't actually care enough to take them off me. The first kid in line, the one that almost knocked me over, said that he wanted to feel my face. I looked at his parents, they were ignoring the kid like most parents do at places like these, and I held him up to feel my fuzzy face.

He rubbed around for a few seconds, freaking me out, and then punched me straight in the nose and kicked me right in the chest. It didn't hurt, but it sure did annoy the hell outta me. I was going to curse, but I didn't want some bullshit lawsuit about how I abused a child in a big furry pink dog costume.

This went on for another straight hour. Kids would line up, say hello to me, and I would say hi back. Some kids were nice and actually pretty interesting. A little girl said that she had a doll of me at home, and I told her that was very cool. On the other side, there were some really big asshole kids. One kid, about twelve, came up to me, said I was a fake piece of shit (yes, those exact words), and then pointed down to his crotch. His parents were nowhere to be found, and he ran off.

Finally, the crowd was over, and they all went off to eat pizza and play some tedious games. When I thought I could rest, Paulie came over and said that it was time for me to go work in the Play Area.

"What? I thought I was going to be a waiter!" I yelled at him, but then lowered my voice because of some kids looking at me. "I thought I was going to be, you know, picking my job?"

"We're overbooked on waiters tonight, kid. Go to the Play Area with Carlie and be done with it." he said, patting my back again, and then limping off to somewhere to boss around more teenagers. Sighing, I went off to the area where I once had a traumatic moment as a kid.

Getting there, though, I was lucky. Not a lot of kids in this area. There were two boys in the ball pit, throwing them like usual, and one in the maze apparatus, but that was it.

The girl waiting for me and watching over them, Carlie, was a beauty. She wasn't wearing a pirate uniform, but even if she was, I would have wanted to have sex with her. She had long brown hair, blue eyes, and an award winning smile. If she hadn't said hello right when I saw her, I would have probably looked at her breasts.

"Hey, I'm Carlie, did Paulie send you to help?" she asked, a very sweet and innocent voice. She must have not been over the age of sixteen. "You must be the new Lucky."

"Yeah." I told her, putting my hand in front of her and letting her shake it. It seemed much cooler in my head, but in reality it was a big gigantic pink furry shaking the hand of a pretty girl. "What happened to the last Lucky?"

"Tom? He quit," she told me.

"Why he quit?" I asked, interested.

"Well, one day, when he came to work, he was a little on the high side. He was in his costume, like usual, working the Eating Area. Some kids asked him to come over, said that they wanted to show him something, and he did. When he came over, the kids threw soda on him, and he punched a kid."

She started to laugh, but my look inside the suit made me think how fucked up the people in this suit must become.

"He was going to get fired, but he told Paulie to shove it and quit right on the spot. I miss Tom. He was really funny."

I gave off a faked laugh, happy that this suit could hide my fake emotions, and looked at the kids in the area. She was pretty, but she did a terrible job at looking at the kids. Every time I looked at her, she was staring off into space or looking at Paulie for some reason. She was probably scared he would come over and yell at her.

We started a nice conversation about the place. She told me about how tough it is to work here, and I said it did look pretty awful. She added in some good things, like helping kids, but she also wanted to let me know that a lot of the kids were assholes. I agreed, nodding my pink head in agreement.

During this discussion, we hadn't done our job at all. When I finally checked on the kids, one of them was fucking drowning in the ball pit. This was exactly how I was as a kid. I was trying to get out from the balls, but there were too many and took me under! I had to save him, right?

I rushed over, jumped into the rainbow pit of orbs, and picked up the kid with both arms. The other kid started yelling at me, wondering what I was doing, and I looked at the kid I saved. He was fighting to get away from me, screaming why I ruined his game.

"Game?"

"We were playing pirates! HE WALKED THE PLANK, YOU STUPID DOG!" the kid I didn't save screamed, punching me in the ribs and getting out of the pit. The kid I was holding started to cry, and I put him outside the pit.

The worst part was when their parents came over. The Mom was screaming about how I could have killed her little baby, and the Dad was telling me how big of a pedophile I was by touching their son. I apologized, saying that I thought he was drowning, and they only looked at me like I was a freak. Good thing they didn't see my real face. If they did, there would be another reason why a girl wouldn't want to be with me.

Thinking about a girlfriend, I turned to continue my conversation with Carlie after the parents stormed off. She wasn't there, gone, and leaving her post with no one there to take care of the kids.

Needing to know where she was, I walked through the amounts of kids and even had to push one out of the way when he was on the floor, crying over he wanted more money to play the shooting game. I asked the doorman, Suicidal Bill (my nickname for him), where Carlie was, and he said that he saw her go into the backroom about ten minutes ago.

Now knowing this good piece of info, I stalked to the back, maybe ready to get some time alone with Carlie. I was thinking about some things I could say to get her attention. Being alone in the dirty storage room could be a great story to post online as my first kiss.

Opening the storage room door, I saw something even worse than my parents having sex. Carlie and Paulie, the 100-year-old manager, were half naked, atop of each other on the messy floor. I wanted to say something, maybe like, 'YOU FUCKING PEDOPHILE! YOU WHORE!', but nothing came out. She looked at me. He looked at me. Paulie gave me a wink, wanting me to keep his secret, and I gave him a nervous nod. When I closed the door, I could hear a shrill of laughter and a lock being turned.

Great, my boss was more than likely a sexual predator. That's just dandy. The best end of the night was when I went to back to my post, and four different parents were trying to pull out a kid from the maze apparatus. While gone, the kid got stuck in the tube that let him out, and he had been crying for Lucky to save him. Too bad Lucky was off getting his girlfriend hopes killed.

Another attack from parents came, and I had to see the sad face of a child telling me how I was not his hero anymore. He ran off, and I sat alone in the Play Area. No girl. No kids to look after. No nothing. Just another traumatic incident in the Play Area. This time, it was when I was eighteen.

I wondered what the next night could bring?

damn yeah. I just woke up and it's story time. Awesome.

Greatest. Job. Ever.

Fuck, I laughed hard.

That was hilarious.

I like the plot twist of the obvious love interest turning into massive heartbreak.

Paulie is a motherfucking king.

Dude just racked your shit, forced you to be a furry, and fucked your 16-year-old girl.

damn you rule OP

ty for story, please continue

Y'know, you could have asked for a threesome with Paulie while wearing the mascot.
SOUNDS LIKE FAMILY FUN!

If I was the Narrator, I would have just walked out the door, got hit by a car, and ended it.

That's a hilariously bad night.

>>3860600

Paulie doesn't want no smelly furry kissing his jailbait.

Guy runs crappy business, makes loads of cash, and gets sexy women.

>Another attack from parents came, and I had to see the sad face of a child telling me how I was not his hero anymore. He ran off, and I sat alone in the Play Area. No girl. No kids to look after. No nothing. Just another traumatic incident in the Play Area. This time, it was when I was eighteen.

:(

This made me sad.

Best protagonist yet.

He isn't a dick like the last one, but he's still somewhat cynical.

All you do is be a nice guy, but you get no girl, no smiles, and only yelling.

Admit it
You identified with OP because the girl you like is sleeping with a 100-year old, and he is getting more pussy that you will ever have.

>>3860650

...I hate my neighbor. ;-;

Applause OP. This is way better than Zoe.

Gigantic pink furry seeing the girl he wants to fuck get molested by his manager.

Children piss me off, but you left a fat kid to die in the maze.

HE NEEDED YOU LUCKY

BUT WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?

bloxckxsksdxx
>Paulie is a motherfucking king.

>Dude just racked your shit, forced you to be a furry, and fucked your 16-year-old girl.
Couldn't have said it better myself.

That was funny and depressing at the same time.

I'm sad that you left the kid to die while looking for the jailbat.

Should have called the police, bro.

So there's no love interest? No romance? :[

>>3860942
Not yet. He might get Paulie's sloppy seconds.

I would burn my Mom's toys in a fire, the suit in the fire as well, and then call the cops on Paulie's ass.

But that would be kinda a douche move. If the guy is really old and banging a hot young girl, he deserves props.

>>3860999
Yeah, and you never know, if he HNNNNGGGGHHHHHH's, Carlie might hook up with our protagonist to keep that a secret.

I can see the fat kid crying and telling Lucky he hates him.

I picture the kid from Bad Santa.

OP, be glad your mom gives a fuck.

Also, get a real girlfriend, being Pizza Pirate Place employee means *gasp* you are meeting real life people!

Oh and fuck your sister. Leave her like the gutter trash she is... be your own man... man.

>>3861055
You... you're not very bright, are you?

>>3861055

How can you be a man as a gigantic pink furry?

>>3861081
By sucking it up and making the fucking most of it. Be the best damn pink furry dog you can be.

If you get an awesome story or two out of it, all the better.

This story is great.

Very enjoyable, humorous, and not tied down by some retard.

It's your fault for leaving your post to go and look for a girl you just met.

IDIOT.

No more tonight, I'm guessing.

I shall bump this thread.

Bumpalots.

>>3861325
Yes, god yes, this thread needs to live.

bumpitiebump
please, keep the 3d alive atleast until tomorrow morning.

DIE THREAD
DIE AND BURN IN HELL

>>3861397

Why are you so angry?

Let the guy write at his own pace.

>>3861397

Can't you be nicer to a guy who you enjoyed a story from? It's not like you actually gave him money.

What a dick, man.

If he had good prose, it would be one thing, you know I could be like, well he was just revising or something.

The way he writes, I can tell he is throwing this together right then. It doesn't take six fucking hours to come up with ideas, either, so obviously he is just dicking around by avoiding posting.

>>3859439
>>3859439
>>3859439
>>3859439
>>3859439
>>3859439
MIND = BLOWN -blocks

>>3861429
OP wants attention, which we provide him with, the least he can do is post the fucking story in a timely manner, but no he insist upon being a huge faggot.

>>3861477
See I'm so fucking raged that I typed 'insist' instead of 'insists'

Fuck you OP.

OMG I LOST SO FUCKING HARD :D:D:D

>I rushed over, jumped into the rainbow pit of orbs, and picked up the kid with both arms. The other kid started yelling at me, wondering what I was doing, and I looked at the kid I saved. He was fighting to get away from me, screaming why I ruined his game.

"Game?"

The second day at Pirate Land Pizza. The first day was terrible. I had been attacked by smaller children, forced to save a kid who didn't need saving in a ball pit, and got my hopes smashed when the girl I thought was cute was actually fucking my ancient boss. Worst thing was that boss got me to dress up as the mascot of the place, Lucky, the pink dog that dances around for children.

Coming in for my second day, I got there later than the day before. Paulie wanted me there by 5:00 PM, but I got there more around 5:30. He wanted to yell at me, but I gave him a look, telling him I did not forget his little sex escapades with the sixteen-year-old girl, and he wished me a good day.

The place really didn't get crazy until later, but there were a few kids in at the moment. It would get more crowded later, and I couldn't wait to put on a show for the damn brats. Not saying that some of them weren't nice, but I would say the majority were evil and going to grow up as serial killers.

"So, I'm working today as a waiter, right?" I asked, and Paulie gave me a look like he didn't want me to put me there. I kept on looking at him until he gave up and told me that I could be a waiter for the day.

"But you have to wear the suit," he added before I went off to put on a normal uniform in the back, and I damned that old bastard for still being alive. "Sorry, but Lucky is the center of this place. Without Lucky, we're dead. Also, we got around five complaints last night. If it wasn't for me, you could be in jail for child abuse!"

"And you could be in jail for being a pedophile..." This was under my breath, of course, not needing a fight with an old man so early in the night. I went to the back, stripped down, and was ready to put on my suit when I heard a rustle behind me.

A girl was raising from the boxes like a zombie, and I flipped. I was just wearing my boxers, the ones with happy faces on them, and I couldn't control my awkwardness with the situation that was happening. The girl stared at me, looking just as confused as me, and I had my pink suit trying to hide most of my body with it wrapped along my chest.

"Oh, you're the new Lucky," she added, getting up and putting out a hand. I shook it, still holding onto my suit and still freaking out in my mind. "I couldn't really know it was you last night. You never really took the costume off."

"Yeah...uh..." I muttered, looking at her and then down at my body. I was hoping she would get the hint, but she was oblivious to the whole situation. She was dressed in the normal uniform that most of the people here wore. They had a little pirate hat, which she had in her hand, and an eye patch that most people took off after Paulie stopped caring. With her eye patch on, I was hoping that her vision was obscured from this moment.

"So, how are you?" she wanted to know, sitting down on the floor and looking up at me. I could either put on my suit in front of her and end it, or I could stand here like an idiot and hold onto the pink furry suit like a weirdo. I was too afraid of putting on the suit, so I chose the weirdo option.

"I'm fine."

"That's good," she noted, shaking her head and then laying on the floor once more. With her eyes not looking at me, I put on the suit and zipped it up. Lucky might have been a terrible costume, but it did give me more confidence in a way. It was harder to be judged when you were a pink dog. "I'm Jen by the way."

"I'm -"

"Lucky is just fine," she snapped quickly. Kinda hurt that she didn't want to know my name, but I just met the girl. She wasn't overly pretty like Carlie, but she wasn't bad. Not thin, but not obese. She could have been high, but I never found out.

"Alright, Jen, I'm going to go do my waiter job...Have fun." I started to walk out, but she propped up from the ground and took my hand before I walked off. "Huh?"

"I'm a waiter, too. We can go start our shift together, can't we?"

"Yeah, alright, sure." I really didn't get Jen, but she didn't seem like a bad person. Really oblivious to people's emotions, but that could have been the drugs in her talking.

The rest of the night was being a waiter, and it did have it's share of moments. It all started with my first order. As a mascot walking up to a table, it's hard for people to take you serious. A bunch of teenagers were here for some reason, and I had to take their order as a furry.

They hassled me from the start, asking if I was into bestiality, and ordering only soda to piss me off even more. Jen saw how they were being dicks to me, came over and said to get the hell out, and a fight almost broke out after one of the kids said she was a whale.

Jen seemed to get more and more into the work while the night went on. She would talk to me during work, wanting to know why I stuck in this job and asking how long I would stay. I said only a few months, and she wished she was like me.

She came from a poor family a few blocks away from my house, and her family didn't force her to work. Jen had five sisters and one brother, and her parents didn't work. This money that she made supported most of her family, and I really respected her after that. I looked at myself being all whiny about doing this for a few months, and here she was doing this possibly for her whole life.

This was of course until she told me a few hours later that the whole story was bullshit, she was going to quit after summer, and only was doing this job for a new car that her parents were going half way on. I had to agree that she got me good.

Suicide Bill, Jen, and Me both got our breaks together and went outside to just talk for a while. I took off my suit and got to breath the nice clean air of outside. Paulie got mad, wanting me to keep in character at all time, so he allowed me to leave if I took the back entrance out. If any kid saw that Lucky wasn't really a gigantic dog, they would be crushed.

With all of us outside, Suicide Bill went on and on about how this job was sucking the life away from him. He wanted to be a spaceman as a kid. As a teenager, he wanted to be a writer. When he was in college, he wanted to at least become a postman. Finally, after all that, he settled for door man at a poor man's Chuck-E-Cheese. I felt for the guy. He looked really depressed to even be alive.

Jen and me tried to cheer him up, saying that he has to have a girlfriend. We both knew he didn't, but we hoped for the best. He said that he did, when he was 12, but they broke up because he stole her cupcake at lunch. This prompted him to start crying, swearing to never eat another cupcake again, and helping him off the ground.

After he went back inside to wash up, me and Jen were alone for a while. It was actually pretty nice. We were on a bench, looking at the stars, and this felt just like all those first kiss stories I heard about online. I would look at her, she would look at me, and we would slowly go in for the kiss.

She looked at me.

I looked at her.

I slowly went in, and she started to laugh. She pushed my face away, and I couldn't help but feel like I was the stupidest guy on the planet.

"Sorry, I don't like you that way," Jen said, shaking her head at me and still laughing. "You're Lucky. I could never kiss a guy that was Lucky the Pizza Bitch Dog Thing."

"Yeah, I guess," I laughed at her, getting up and offering her my hand. "We should get to the back before Paulie screams at us."

She took my hand, smiled, and went to the back with a new friendship on the horizon. I thought she had a crush on me at that moment, but those hopes were crushed heavily when I left the restaurant that night and saw her making out with Suicide Bill in the parking lot.

I stared at them, she saw me, waved, and I was off, walking home alone. At least that night I didn't nearly have a kid die on me. This time it was getting better. The girl I liked wasn't kissing an old man this time. Instead, she was kissing a depressed guy that probably would commit suicide on the spot if she ever broke his heart.

Yeah, it was getting better. It was getting better.

these stories are like crack or something, i don't even know why i need moar so bad, they're captivating. and i usually only read sci-fi.

>>3861665
So where the fuck did this bitch come from? Boxes?

What the shit is going on

What the shit is this giant faggotry

>>3861690

From behind the boxes and through the mess of the back room.

Also, I'm done for the night.

I'm going to bed. Go and sage my thread if you're pissed at me cock teasing or whatever you call it, but I'm going to bed. It's 7:00 AM, and I spent most of the night doing homework for school and writing this when I had some time.

Alright I finished that part, and wtf. Can every woman not be fucking another dude? Why do you think us roneryfags like these stories?

Also Suicide Bill rocks

>>3861724

Can you stop whining?

>>3861722
floodblox
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhdhdshsghgfhgf
I KNEW YOU WERE DOING SOMETHING ELSE

FUCK YOUR HOMEWORK, FEED US WORDS

>>3861733

Blagh, thank you for reading what I'm writing, but I just write for fun.

I know these aren't proofread or anything (I overlook once and a while), but I don't really have the time to write everything in one go and post it.

If I did, the thread would be 50 gigantic posts in a row and 2 people would read it.

>>3861741
Whatevs, I would, it would still be interesting, not like I got shit better to do.

Just next time, do your homework, THEN write the fucking story

>>3861733
You're such a faggot Red Barron. Thanks for the update bro. Night.

>>3861751

Shit, the guy has a social life and does homework. What else do you want from the guy?

Give him some money.

>>3861775
I just don't see why he would leave us hanging and shit. How hard is it to get the junk out of the way THEN write the story, I mean really? Then we don't have fucking 300/500 posts of WHY U NOT POST

Lucky dude, website with stories, updated now and again, money from advertising. Could get a lot of channers over there, post a thread on 4chan with the start of a story and a link to your website for the rest.

Eventually sell the book off your website, self publish it, get it printed at a local printer whoever will do it for cheap, and ship it out. Accept money via paypal and money orders. The book will have stories not included on the website. Chicken Soup for the Anonymous (lack of) Soul.

Make some money off this. It will allow you to write more stories, and you get money. Win win for everyone.

>>3861782 what he said, do it up man, DO IT

>>3861780
Dude. You don't get what you want by chucking a hissy fit. Chill out. This is always the way the Author Guy posts. To paraphrase him, the story would lose effect if it happened all at once, and nobody would read it. It's like a TV series this way, and it keeps everybody hanging on. Not to mention you can't fault a talented guy who diligently entertains us without trying to make a grab for fame for having an active social and academic life. Suspense = GOOD THING. Calm the fuck down you immature faggot.

juicesocks

> 16 year old = paedophile

No.

>>3861809
Good to see some fellow britfags up in this bitch.

>>3861722
GodDAMN it lucky!

the zoe story for those of you who didn't catch it all:

http://pastebin.com/m18757bc9

just bumping for OP to keep writing.

aw shit son, I must have more.

>>3862508
I am addicted to these stories. That was so fucking awesome.

archived

http://quickurl.biz/opbPNM/

heres all the cain posts. i really want to believe in my heart that cain is real and not a story. judging from the way these posts were rolled out, it is a possibility.

ITT some retard writes a shitty story about his boring life.

>>3863493
...and about every robot is hooked on his every word.

>I was going to curse, but I didn't want some bullshit lawsuit about how I abused a child in a big furry pink dog costume.

>If any kid saw that Lucky wasn't really a gigantic dog, they would be crushed.

This is great stuff.
Here's the Invader Zim episode "Bloaty's Pizza Hog". Your nightmarish restaurant reminded me of it.

http://en.sevenload.com/videos/r88BuKn-Invader-Zim-Bloatys-Pizza-Hog

>>3863662

(skip to 9:10)

Good stuff OP, good stuff. Can anyone confirm that OP is indeed the same guy who wrote all the other stories?

OP: I really like the way you're story's going. If it was any other story on /r9k/, you probably would have already kissed both Carlie and Jen. It's nice to see a story where the protagonist sucks just as much as I do...well, actually, you have a job, which means you're a level above me, but I'll forgive you.

...ignore me saying "you" in the previous paragraph, I know that OP isn't the protagonist...

bumpblockzxxorrrzzz

Continue, please.