Anti-troll bump.

If a post doesn't have my name, tripcode, and email address, it isn't me (PROTIP: if the tripcode's in blue or the name ISN'T, you're being trolled).

- Advice Anon

>>3852866
Why do you think is the best way to give advice? I really want to help as many people as I can, but I only have a certain ammount of time to give each day after school, before I have to start my homework.

I just clicked on /r9k/ to ask this:

I have $20 to spend. Should I use it to go to a sushi restaurant with my best friend, (I've been craving sushi like mad) or should I use it to buy a nerdy video game related shirt? Because I need to buy a new shirt, and this video game shirt looked awesome.

How would I go about
.
.
.
.
Getting you the fuck off /r9k/?

I know a girl who I could hit it off with and have a fantastic relationship with. Unfortunately, she lives 100 miles away (about a 2 hour train journey).

I don't have the balls to go see her, and even if I did, I'm not sure if it'd work out as a relationship because of the distance.

The fuck do I do?

>>3852890

Well, I like this method. I can come and go as I please and take as much or as little time as I want. Plus, on 4chan, you're always guaranteed an audience.

If you can live with the trolls, it's probably your best bet. The Anonymous identity really lets people open up to you without feeling threatened.

>>3852879
Was that...really even necessary? Do you honestly think we're as stupid as /b/?

Get the hell out, faggot. You have insulted me.

>>3852892

Well, the sushi lasts one evening. The shirt lasts much longer than that. So, shirt is probably your best idea for long-term happiness.

- Advice Anon

>>3852900

Solve everyone's problems. Then I won't have anyone else to advise.

Also, quit being an ass. That won't make me leave, but everyone else will appreciate it.

- Advice Anon

What's a long-term solution to my anxiety around women?

Inb4 alcohol

girl i like broke up with her boyfriend about 2 weeks ago...when/how do i make the move?

I am a girl with High-functioning autism. No I am not anywhere close to Chris-Chans retarded level.
Socially I am quiet but normal-acting. ANYHOW-I suck at recognizing some basic social rules.

Theres about 4 people that I want to become closer friends with. I'm allowed to visit their house whenever I want, but I find socializing with new people a bit stressful, so I only visited them 1 to 2 times a month. I know that if I want them to consider me a friend, I need to visit them more;

By normal people standards: Roughly how often should I visit these people in order for them to consider me a friend?

>>3852902

Unfortunately, you're right, Anon. 2 hours isn't terrible, but long distance relationships generally don't work (statistically speaking).

Are there any girls around your immediate area who you might hit it off with? Your best option is to start getting to know some girls who are closer to you. Practice your conversation skills by just talking to random girls you come across. You never know who you might meet.

- Advice Anon

attention whoring, on MY /B/?

>>3852915

I don't think /r9k/ is. I think you might be, though. Everyone else here kindly ignored that post. You didn't.

So, I guess I wrote it for you. GTFO.

- Advice Anon

Fuck you advice anon, you didn't even reply the last time this thread happened.

inb4 OP disappears after 10 minutes

>>3852939

Practice, Anon.

Basically, the more girls you talk to, the less anxiety you feel. You didn't feel great the first time you drove a car or rode a bike, did you? But you kept practicing until it was pretty much second nature.

Same concept. Talking to girls gets easier the more you do it. You start to pick up on what works and what doesn't work. You look more confident and comfortable around girls, which makes you seem more attractive.

At the beginning, try to have a few interesting things in your head to talk about when you meet a new girl. That way, if you get nervous, just pull out one of the conversation starters you already thought of. Good luck out there, Anon.

- Advice Anon

>>3852973
I guess you're a 15 year unerage b& who gets fucking butthurt whenever people insult his shitty fucking thread. Get your sorry ass back to /b/ you pathetic fucking cunt.

>>3852940

You'll have to get to know the girl a little first, to see if she's "ready" to jump into another relationship. Talk to her, introduce yourself, see how she's handling the breakup. If SHE did the dumping, she's most likely ready to date other guys, so don't waste any time.

Basically, just talk to her, and feel the situation out. If you think she's ready, invite her out to dinner or some other event you could both have fun at and get to know each other during.

- Advice Anon

>>3852879
um.. wow way to insult everyone's intelligence, broseph

>>3853034
He said he frequents /b/. What else would you expect? They're all 14 and 15 year old there. That's not the most intelligent age, m'fraid.

>>3852953

It's not how many times you visit, girlanon. It's how you keep in contact with them.

Try once a week or so, if you want to become good friends. It doesn't have to be elaborate, you can just call one of them up and chat for a little while. Ask what they're doing on the weekend, or try to set some plans up. If you can get all of them to go somewhere together with you, everyone will get to know each other, and that will make it a little bit easier for you.

Hope that helps. Good luck, girlanon. They'll be lucky to have a friend like you.

- Advice Anon

>>3853044
I think the little "-Advice Anon" thing is too formal and douchey
hey let's continue to talk about him to his face

>>3852962

Yeah, I realize I used my image from "that other" board. I tried to use a more generic one and got "muted," so I figured what the hell.

- Advice Anon

>>3852974

The last time this thread happened? I've never started a thread on /r9k/ before.

If you were in one of my threads on /b/, I try to answer as many questions as I can before I leave, and I also try to announce when I'm going. If you have a question I don't get to, you can always email me. That's why I post my email address, Anon.

- Advice Anon

>>3853058
As evidenced by the sudden outburst of butthurt in >>3852973, we can safely assume he's in his teenage years.

Coupled with the fact that he's yearning for attention (and gets deeply defensive and enraged when he thinks it's being taken away), going to new and different boards to get more attention (possibly whoring for it on different boards at the same time), it wouldn't be wrong to say that he was abused and fiddled as a child, which has left him with a trauma.

>>3853011

So, let me get this straight.... you DON'T like me? Because your post was a little ambiguous.

- Advice Anon

what are some things a girl does that instantly turns you on?

>>3853034

I don't know the rules here. There are quite a few trolls in this thread, so they're apparently not that different.

- Advice Anon

>>3853103
I would just ignore the trolls and answer questions.

How do I start annoying threads with text images and a tripcode?

>>3853097

I don't talk about myself, Anon, so you can guess whatever you want. I don't really care.

I only really engage trolls to keep my thread bumped or when there aren't enough useful questions. You're basically a tool I use. How does that make you feel?

- Advice Anon

>>3853105

Me personally? I don't really give out my opinions, Anon. Just advice. Plus, every guy's different.

- Advice Anon

>>3853124
Looks like the poor kid's on defensive again. Did you hit the soft spot, anon?

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

I'm starting to think I may have gotten some bad information about this board, /r9k/. Does anyone have any valid questions to restore my faith in the lu/r9k/ers?

- Advice Anon

>>3853134
maybe he was indeed abused a s a child. would be pretty funny seeing some tripfag who got his dads cock up the arse as a kid.

>>3853160
Honest suggestion: Ignore the troll posts and answer advice. Seriously advice anon, they'd go away if you did that.

>>3853124
I dunno how does it feel to constantly allow yourself to get trolled
every time you respond to a troll you're being trolled, duh
you're so new here lol
Gosh you're adorable

>>3853160
Dear Advice Anon,
how big was your abuser's penis when he OH SO violently took your innocence?!

>>3853097
>>3853118
>>3853134
>>3853165

You seem pretty threatened by my presence, Anon. Is there a problem you have that I can help you work through?

- Advice Anon

>>3853160
The best public service you could offer is to go away, and never post under a trip here again.

>>3853105


where is my advice, Advice Anon?

>>3853189
Indeed. I'd like yo know if it was your uncle or father who put his pee pee in your poo poo.

>>3853172
>>3853177

There ARE no questions. I'm used to getting trolled, and I have no problem with it (see my second post). I come from /b/, which is 95% Anonymassholes. I respond to trolls there to keep my thread bumped, because they 404 pretty quickly.

My highest priority ALWAYS go to the people asking questions. Most of the trolls in here are the same guy, which is sad that he thinks this is the best use of his time, but it doesn't really affect me any. I'm just killing time until I get actual questions.

- Advice ANon

>>3853234
Funny how noone wants to ask your any questions.
Might it be because of the faggotry, tripcode and, hmm, did I say faggotry?

>>3853124
tsundere desu ne

>>3853197

Here: >>3853133

If you were asking about things a girl can do IN GENERAL, keep in mind that men are much more visually-oriented than women. Dressing sexy and and dropping sexual innuendo are two very good ideas.

- Advice Anon

I cant seem to meet girls, like at all. I think i just don't have the confidence to even talk to them, i'm not bad looking by any stretch of the imagination but i just can't meet any. Advice?

Okay I have a question advice anon

I'm an 18 year old girl with dem tits and dat ass. Plenty of guys I know online say I'm not but I never see anyone checking me out irl
Why don't guys play eye tennis or allow me to catch a glance? Better yet, why is it that the only guys who do approach me are weirdos. :\

>>3853260

Well, you've figured out that confidence is your weakness. Don't despair, Anon. It can be easily fixed. Here are some tips:

1. Dress well and always try to look your best. If you LOOK good, you FEEL good. If you don't have the best fashion sense, take a fashionable friend shopping with you. A girl, maybe...
2. Stand up straight, look people in the eyes when they're talking, and SMILE. Try not to look nervous or awkward.
3. Practice talking to girls. They're just people, just like you. The more practice you get, the less anxiety you'll have.
4. Always have something to say. It helps if it's interesting, but not a dealbreaker if it's not. As long as you've got some ideas in the back of your mind, you'll never run out of ways to start a conversation.
5. Don't fear rejection. Not every girl will want to talk to you. That's fine. There are PLENTY more who do.

Now go get 'em, Anon. The ladies are waiting.

- Advice Anon

>>3853290
>not
shit I meant hot
lol that totally changed everything in my post

>>3853311
>Why don't guys play eye tennis or allow me to catch a glance? Better yet, why is it that the only guys who do approach me are weirdos. :\

You're probably paranoid mate.

Fine, I'll bite.

I have a Japanese exam coming up pretty soon, and I don't feel that I'm handling the language well enough at all yet. Any tips on how to get the most out of studying for the few days I have left?

>>3853290

Just because you don't catch them doesn't mean they're not checking you out. A lot of guys don't want to be caught in the act, so they catch a peek when you're not looking.

If you're a relatively attractive girl, weirdos will be the majority of the people who hit on you. That's just a fact of life. A lot of them have been rejected so many times that it doesn't affect them anymore.

Try to be a little more approachable, girlanon. Practice good body language and SMILE. If you're attractive, most guys will think "she's way out of my league" and avoid talking to you. Don't be afraid to talk to THEM.

If you see a guy who looks interesting, go up to him and say hi. Ask him if he has the time or something, and try to strike up a conversation. Many of the best guys you can date are too shy to talk to you in the first place, so don't be afraid to make the first move once in a while.

- Advice Anon

>>3853311

Not a problem, girlanon. I knew what you meant. Advice still stands.

- Advice Anon

Hey advice anon. I'm 18, and a dropout. However, I'm going to college somehow in the fall, and the girl I think I love might be going there too. I know she liked me two years ago but I was too much of a pussy to make a move. Should I ask her out even though I haven't talked to her for over 6 months, or just wait and hopefully see her at college?

>>3853344

Well, don't be too disheartened. Japanese is one of the toughest languages there is to learn.

As for the exam, set as much time as you can afford aside for studying it. Flash cards are always a good idea - buy a stack of index cards, cut them in half, and go nuts. Try shifting the place where you regularly study. Maybe you could check out a quiet coffee shop or a park bench (weather permitting). Changing your scenery sometimes helps you see information in a different way.

Also, the internet is your friend. Your class only presents the information in 1 way. Try some online tutorials for tips on how to grasp the concepts of the language a little more. Can't hurt to look, even if you only get a couple tips.

Best advice - don't put too much pressure on yourself. Tell yourself that you're going to study your ass off, go take the test, and do as well as you can. The more stress you're under, the less the information will stick.

Good luck, Anon.

- Advice Anon

>>3853392
bitch you need to grow some juevos and spank dat ass yanawmean

>>3853344
I have the site for you!
http://www.bspcn.com/2007/11/08/how-to-learn-but-not-master-any-language-in-1-hour-plus-a-favor/

Dear advice anon,

Why are you so full of yourself?

Advice Anon, they just hate you cause your from /b/.

If you hadn't included /b/ in that, you probably would have had 60% less trolls and 30% more questions.


Anyway here's a question; How the hell do I get myself motivated to do my bloody assignments?
I have these things I got to do for Uni and I just cant be arsed doing them, they are even FUN ASSIGNMENTS.

>>3853392

You're actually in a pretty good position, Anon.

Call her up and tell her where you were thinking about going to school. Ask her if she's planning on going there too. Tell her that you were a little nervous about starting, and you thought it would be a little easier if you knew a friendly face.

Then invite her out for coffee or dinner or something to catch up. It's been 6 months, so I'm sure you both have plenty to talk about. After you have your "catch up" meeting, feel free to ask her out on a real date if you think she might be interested.

- Advice Anon

>>3853442
I'm pretty sure it's because he's arrogant, self-important and condescending.

But the /b/ thing is good too.

>>3853442

Yeah, I knew I that about /r9k/ before I got here. I did it anyway. I try to be honest.

How do you get motivated? Try to break the assignments into small, manageable chunks. By time, length, or however else makes sense. Maybe work on an assignment for 30 minutes, then take a little break. Then 30 more minutes, then another break. Whatever works for you.

I also always recomment location-shifting. Take your work and go somewhere else with it. Coffee shop, park, etc. When you're in an unfamiliar location, it really helps you focus on what you're doing. Especially since you don't have your computer/Xbox/TV in an adjacent room calling out to you.

When you look at an assignment as a whole, it looks pretty big. When you look at it as just a bunch of little parts that can be completed one at a time, it tends to make the whole thing look a lot smaller.

- Advice Anon

I think you should come to /r9k/ more often.

Quit /b/ for us ?

>>3853468

I've never been condescending in this thread. I'm here to help.

The other two? Yeah, I'm those. Good self-esteem is important for everyone to have. Especially when you're just trying to give advice amidst a sea of trolls.

- Advice Anon

I could possibly use some advice...

Some days ago, I went to an end-of-school party (university, not high school) with a female friend I'm starting to get close to. While I was there, I met some of her friends, and I find myself particularly attracted to one. I mentioned as much to my friend, and she asked me why I didn't do anything (i.e. ask her friend out), and said that I should have done something. While there were really a number of reasons, including the fact that I didn't think she was single and there wasn't really much chemistry (hence making her not really worth pursuing), the reason I gave was that she was drunker than I, and that I on principle refuse to hit on girls drunker than I, regardless of how drunk.

While she called this "chivalrous" (a bullshit term IMO) once I had figured explaining myself, I worry that citing this reason without citing the others may have made me seem rather puritanical, as well as making me look unmasculine (due stereotype of guys always chasing pussy, etc.). I decided shortly thereafter that I might want to pursue her friend after all.

My question is this: seeing as I may possibly have made the wrong impression w/regards to my intentions, is it possible at this point to recover and make a better impression on her and her friend than I have? I assume with this question that she told her friend that I found her attractive.

I'm in love with my sister but I can't do anything about it without freaking her out

>>3853533

I do like the fact that I can actually spend some time on my responses, without worrying about my thread getting flooded off the board by whatever meme Anon happens to like at that particular moment.

The trolls here are no worse than the trolls anywhere else, so they don't bother me. The "mute" thing is a pain in the ass, so I'll have to think of a clever way to change my picture (maybe different colors & such). Don't worry, I'll also remove all /b/ references.

I'll definitely try to spend more time here, Anon. Thanks for making me feel welcome.

- Advice Anon

>>3853584
drug her at bed time
use her
clean up
she'll never know

>>3853569

You're overthinking it, Anon.

Your friend doesn't think any less of you for the reason you gave. The "chasing pussy and acting tough" routine is mainly when you're around guys. You want girls to think you're "cute and sweet." You DON'T want girls to think "oh, he's just a player."

If she told her friend about you, she effectively broke the ice FOR you. AND you came off looking pretty damn cool for not taking advantage of her in her drunken state. I'd have to say you're looking pretty good right now, Anon.

Ask your friend about the girl you're into. See if she has a boyfriend. Your friend might even be able to set you both up, taking all of the pressure off you. Don't worry so much about it, Anon. You're in a pretty decent situation right now.

- Advice Anon

>>3853594
oh, fuck i forgot to explain the tricks of r9k

okay quick lesson: R9K has no mods, we have a robot. The robot is a very picky creature and he HATES seeing the same thing posted ever again. Pictures are reposted through a simple "mute block", a tiny MS Paint dot hidden somewhere on the image
This throws off the image harsh detector.
Text is also muted so make sure every post is original, sometimes a simple "muteblock" is needed. You'll see a lot of that around.

The more you get mutes, as I'm sure you've noticed, the longer it's for. The time is doubled so be careful or you wont be posting for a long time. And it takes an hour for every 2 seconds for the mute to go down I believe.

>>3853584

Yeah, you can't. Plus, if your parents find out, you won't exactly be their favorite person (to put it lightly).

Try to meet some other girls, Anon. Aside from the fact that it's immoral and not socially acceptable, it's most likely illegal where you live. Sister is off limits. Try to find someone outside of the family you might be able to fall in love with.

- Advice Anon

I have a crush on a girl with no friends.

Except for me, I'm her only friend.

Do you think it would be easier for me to get her due to this predicament?

>>3853710

Thanks, Anon. I tried to read up before I got here, so I'm aware of most of the little tricks. I thought my generic image was fairly unique, but it (apparently) wasn't. I'm pretty sure the mutes are done in a 2^n format, but I didn't know about the hour thing, so that would be pretty cool.

- Advice Anon

>>3853680

There's a couple of things I maybe should have mentioned. Firstly, I do know that she's single, which is definitely a plus. Secondly, she wasn't that drunk. She had more to drink than me, but she wasn't "drunk" drunk (i.e. stumbling around slurring words, hitting on random people), just buzzed, really.

Thirdly, there wasn't really much chemistry at the time. In fact, most of the three of us spent our time together in silence. My friend kept smiling and looking back and forth between both of us and muttering "awkward", while both her friend and I were mostly quiet, not really talking about anything or even looking at one another much. I kept getting the sense that her friend was waiting for something, but she would give no indication to what.

Does this clarify the situation somewhat?

>>3853757

If anything, it might make it a tad bit more difficult, depending on how long you've been friends. Women rarely date guys they consider to be friends, so you wouldn't have any competition on that front even if she had 20 other guys she was friends with.

If you like her, go for it. But try to feel the situation out, first. Try to see if shy might be receptive to a relationship with you. The last thing you want is to make your friendship with her awkward, so try to approach the issue gently at first (i.e. don't go in with "ZOMG I LOVE YOU LET'S MAKE BABIES!"). Best of luck, Anon.

- Advice Anon

A longtime friend admitted recently that he's been in love with me for a very long time. We're very close, and easily exchange hugs and hold hands. I'm a shy girl but I feel comfortable enough around him to do these things. Maybe he got the wrong impression off of this. I don't want to hurt him, he is like a big brother to me. :(

How do I let him down, gently?

Dear Advice Anon,

I spent like six months chasing this girl who is my best friend and until two weeks ago, had a boyfriend. Today I hung out with her at hers and after a little talking we ended up laying down on the sofa together, holding each other, and we eventually kissed, a few times. I'm pretty sure we're now beyond "close friends"- she kept saying "I love you".

Her being the second girl I've ever been seriously romantically involved with, I'm extremely careful not to screw this up. Like I said, we're best friends but she seems to value the "nice guy" aspects of my personality.

Later today when I went back home she sent me a message on MSN. After chatting for a while, I brought up the day's earlier events (these are all paraphrased, neither of us were this blunt):
"About all that stuff earlier. Are you still cool with it all?"
"I am if you are"
"I definitely am. I just want you to tell me if I do or say something stupid, I'm new to all this. [later] So what does this make us?"
"I don't know. Let's just see where it goes."

She's coming to mine on Wednesday- we plan to watch a film and take a walk down to the river. AA, what do I do? I want to build a full-on boyfriend/girlfriend relationship out of this, I'm not trying to get laid.

Thanks in advance
Anon

I have had long hair for 3 years, now.
Everybody knows me by it.
However, I want to cut it.


Should I just trim, or get a buzz cut?

I just found out that my co-workers (most of them) don't like me, even some that I really thought I was getting along with. I usually don't spend a lot of time with anyone after work, but last night I sort of had to because of a ride situation, (my car died and I had to go with someone) we ended up going to the bar where everyone hangs out to cool off after work sometimes, and I was shocked at how shocked they were to see me there, and how clear it was that I wasn't wanted.

How do I fix this? or should I just find a new job. (I'm a waiter btw)

>>3853793

Sure does. Actually makes your situation even MORE desirable.

You know she's attainable, and you can easily explain away your lack of communication skills at the party. A simple "sorry, I'm much less talkative when I've been drinking" could put that lack of chemistry at the party out of the way.

However, you have to work to redeem yourself. The next time you see her, you have to be Fun And Interesting Guy, so she doesn't see you as That Quiet Dude From The Party. We make our own chemistry, Anon.

Have some ideas about a few things to talk about the next time you see the girl. Stay away from the common "yes/no" answer questions. Try something thought provoking, like "what class is your favorite" followed by "really? why do you like it?"

- Advice Anon

Dear Advice Anon, My brother is away at UNI in Ohio, and he called me asking for money. He wants $500 he says he needs for his dorm rent. I'm worried he's trying to rip me off, but part of me wants to send it to him anyway, because he is my family and even if he's lying about the reason, if he's desperate enough to ask, he probably does need money.

I make enough that it's not a problem to send it, so that's not the issue.

Advice Anon, I want to move to London. I know no one who lives there. I'm not planning on move right away, but I am planning to move. I have a job that pays slightly above minimum wage. Outside of getting a visa, passport, etc etc, what would you say the best way to do this is?

Dear Advice Anon,

If there's a woman I do business with, and I'm single and she's single, but she has a son with another man, is it unethical to pursue her?
I feel there's an attraction between us, even a very strong one. She still lives with the father, but they aren't married.

>>3853897
>"sorry, I'm much less talkative when I've been drinking"

But see, generally I'm just the opposite. I was actually pretty much sober at the party, drunken me is comparatively friendly and talkative. I can be just as talkative when sober, certainly, but I have to sense a sort of "permission" to open the floodgates and start talking. Now that's fairly simple to do, I grant you. I'm an alright talker when I have something to talk about, and I can do the small-talk thing decently after months upon months of training myself to think in the proper way.

I can be interesting, but more interesting in the sense of crazy and intelligent, not fun and educated, which given what I know of her seems like more her type. It's unlikely that I'll see her again, really, but can a crazy-interesting person be appealing to one who usually goes for fun-interesting types?

advice anon, do you have any form of instant messaging? Or, short of that, consider registering THEadviceanon@gmail.com for an MSN account?

Dear advice anon, I can't stop smoking pot. Whenever I buy it, if I have a gram, I keep smoking it till it's gone. If I have enough money to buy an ounce, I do. Same story. I stay high as all day, from about an hour after I wake up, till I'm ready to go to sleep at night. In fact, I even can't sleep very well sometimes after not smoking. Not serious like addiction I guess, but more just I don't know. But I just don't seem to be able to just smoke once in a while or every few days.

>>3853831

Well, the generic "I think a relationship would ruin our friendship" is pretty popular.

If you want to be honest, tell him he's a great friend, but you're not intrested in him as a boyfriend. Let him know that it's nothing against him, you just don't think you'd be compatible in a relationship. Apologize if he thought you led him on or if you gave the wrong impression.

Let him know you're flattered, and he doesn't have to be embarassed about it. Tell him you can just continue on being friends like you used to - it doesn't have to be awkward.

If he wants to spend less time with you, respect his decision. It's nothing against you. It's just pretty hard for a guy to be in love with someone who doesn't love him back, so let him deal with it however he thinks is best.

Either way, he's lucky to have a friend who cares about his feelings enough to ask. Kudos, girlanon.

- Advice Anon

>>3853831
Ashley?

muteblox

Dear Advice Anon,


I need to find a way to make more money at work. I'm not asking you to give me money making advice, that would be silly. But you seem to understand how to motivate people, or at least how relationships, interpersonal relationships, work. I feel almost as if it's my shy personality that's keeping me from getting ahead at work. I tend not to take credit for some of my projects and ideas, and I don't think I've been up front enough in trying to increase my standing.

Can you advise me on how to be more assertive at my job?

>>3853840

Holy crap, Anon. Just keep doing whatever you're doing, and you're golden.

You're into her, she's into you, and you're progressing down the relationship path quite nicely. I really can't think of a better situation for you to be in.

After your pseudo-date on Wednesday, tell her you had a good time. Let her know you'd like to take her on a "real" date sometime soon. Have a plan in the back of your mind. Maybe a nice dinner and talking over coffee afterwards. Have all the details worked out in your head beforehand.

Don't be nervous. Just be yourself. She LIKES you, Anon! The pressure's off. So just enjoy it.

- Advice Anon

>>3853860

Save up some money and visit a respected stylist in your area. Tell him/her that you'd like a shorter hairstyle, and you'd like one that fits your appearance and personality. Let the professional go over a few options with you. It's your hair, and you have the final say, so make sure you're happy with the intended style before you give the OK. Tip generously (15-20%) when done.

In the end, you get a professional-level haircut that you can just have your regular barber touch up when necessary. That's really your best option.

- Advice Anon

>>3853870

Start showing up at the bar more. Talk to your co-workers a little more. Try to be friendly with them.

Maybe they don't like you because they think you have a "he's too good for us" attitude. Even if you don't, you need to give them a chance to see you for the person you really are. Spend some time around them, and try to be as friendly as you can. When they get to know the "real" you outside of work, they may find that they were way too quick to judge you.

- Advice Anon

I've hung out with this one chick, a friend of a friend, a few times. We've chilled at parties, we've talked one on one a few times for a couple hours, and I've invited her to spend time with me and my friends. Anyways, I really dig this girl. However, everything's been going really slow, and I don't wanna end up in the friendzone. So I was thinking about asking her to go to dinner tomorrow night. I figured we could walk there, I'd pay for the check, and as I'm walking her back home, just hold her hand? I don't know, it sounds so weird and creepy, but I feel like I need to show how I feel. If I don't, then fuck it, I'd much rather face rejection than just nothing. What do you think anon?

>>3853923

Call him up and act friendly. Ask him how school's going and what he's been up to. After you've chatted for a couple minutes, ask him what the money's REALLY for. Don't make it sound like you're accusing him of lying or anything. Let him know that you'll send him cash either way, just tell him you're curious. Tell him you'll keep the secret, even from your parents.

If he comes clean and says it's really for something else, send him some money anyway, but the AMOUNT you send is up to you. Use your own judgement. You promised you'd send him cash, you just didn't specify how much.

If he swears it's for rent, and that's his final story, then it's your call. Either he's telling the truth or still lying, so the choice is up to you. You know him better than anyone, so it might actually be for rent. Just make sure he'll pay you back someday.

- Advice Anon

I'm sick of the games these women play. They figure they have the pick of the litter so they can play fucking mind games. Serial daters fucking suck.

How can I find gay people to fuck?
Bars are not an option
Being flamboyantly gay is not an option
Craigslist is definitely not an option
Appearance is not a problem, I apparently am fairly cute.

>>3854264

1. Find girl who plays mind games
2. Fuck with her head
3. ???
4. Profit

I just found out my mom cheated on my dad, but it happened several years ago. She's from Germany originally, and she still has family there and has always traveled back to europe over the summers to visit, sometimes for a week or two, sometimes for several months. I found letters in her office, in german that made it pretty clear she was involved with someone on one of those trips.

I was in her office with her permission, not snooping but getting packing supplies for some things I needed to mail, and she must have forgotten she'd hidden the letters inside a bubble envelope. There's a stack of used ones in her office we re-use when we need them.

This is pretty fucked up and I don't know what tot do.

>>3853938

Start saving up money immediately. In case you don't find a job right away, you want some money saved up so you can pay your living expenses. It's nice to have that cushion of cash anyway, even if you do have a job as soon as you get there.

If you can afford a trip to scout out your housing situation and get accustomed to the area you want to live beforehand, that would be a great idea. Try picking up a book on British culture & such, to begin getting accustomed to your new life. Finally, start making a list of all the moving expenses and stuff you'll need to do when you do decide to move (getting a driver's license, possibly obtaining dual citizenship, etc.).

- Advice Anon

>>3853956

Definitely not unethical or immoral, but it can be a little awkward at times. If you can get some intel from her on her relationship with the guy and how he deals with guys she dates, that might give you a big heads up on what you'll be looking at.

- Advice Anon

hey advice anon.


I'm pretty crazy, but still very successful. But its getting worse every day. About a month ago I started hearing voices. But i don't want to get diagnosed, cause i always promised myself i'd join the military before I off'd myself. And if I get diagonosed as crazy, I could never get in. But I would like some meds to get these crazy ass thoughts, sleep patterns, voices, to go away.

What should I do? I don't want to get diagnosed, but I want to try out the meds to see if they work. I'm terrified of the police, so i won't do anything illegal.

>>3854371
also, (i'm a christian), i'm not 100% sure if the voices are the Saints or just general craziness. Like, they tell me the proofs to some of my problems some times, or consol me, or give me weird advice.I'm not 100% sure i want them gone. I'm pretty sure they aren't natural though!

>>3854404

Not advice anon, but it almost sounds like you're in touch with your subconscious somehow. Some people actively try to talk to their subconscious as if it were a living entity. I'd say that you should find some way to take advantage of it. Like, ask the voices questions about whatever's at hand, and see what answers they give. Feed them data to some problem, go work on something else for a bit, and then see if they give you results.

Almost anything, including insanity, can be turned to one's advantage, so...

Like, there is a bunch of voices. I think saint catherine is the one who usually helps me with topology.

Assuming i'm not entirely insane by this point.

>>3854358
This is bad advice. Shame on you advice anon. Telling him to try getting involved with a woman who's living with her child's father?

I can see a whole host of reasons not to do that. Whatever her home situation is. She's a mother, maybe confused about where her relationship stands with her boyfriend or whatever he is, there's the child to think of, not to mention you shouldn't get involved romantically with people you do business with.

You should re-think that answer.

>>3853966

> But see, generally I'm just the opposite

Well, SHE doesn't know that. This was just an example. If you can think of a better or more reasonable reason why you weren't talkative, that's fine too. The important part is you don't want her to think you're antisocial or quiet all the time.

Forget the "permission" thing. You can talk to whomever you want, whenever you want. People like when other people talk to them. It makes them feel important and liked. Practice carrying on conversations with random people. People you've never met. Smile when you talk, stand up straight, and look people in the eyes. The more practice you get, the more at ease you'll feel about chatting up a pretty girl at a party, in the future.

As long as you can carry on a conversation, she won't mind what you're into. The beauty about girls is they like to talk about themselves and they like guys who really LISTEN to what they're saying. If you're a good listener and you can ask thought-provoking questions, you can let her do a good bit of the talking.

Think about good relationships you've had in the past, and how you interacted with those girls. Try to replicate your success. Either way, don't put too much pressure on yourself. Always try to stay cool and confident, and you've got nothing to worry about.

- Advice Anon

>>3854465

My thanks for your advice, sir.

>>3854430
Finally, i consider off'ing myself as a form of murder and a mortal sin. The military was always a welcome way of killing my personal self while still forming a functional role for the republic.... with a decent chance of personal termination.

>>3853997

I remember setting up an AIM address with the idea of using it for this someday, but I can't remember what it was. Maybe it was just "adviceanon"? It seemed like a good idea, but I actually never ended up signing on with it. I really don't even use IM in my personal (i.e. non-Advice Anon) life.

Email is really the best way to get in touch with me, since I generally check it daily. If I can remember my AIM name, I'll post it here before I leave.

- Advice Anon

Sup advice anon.

I have a fuckton of homework to do tonight. I've had the last 4 and a half hours to do it, but I keep procrastinating. How do I get started and keep myself concentrated? This had been going on for over a year, and I have terrible self-esteem because of my problem =/

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

I appreciate your patience while I work through the questions, /r9k/. We got off to a rocky start, and I almost lost faith in this board, but a couple trolls turned into a bunch of genuine people needing legitimate help. That's exactly what I love to see.

I'll answer as many questions as I can, but I have to leave in a few. Either way, I apprecate the way you (non-trolls) have welcomed me, and I will definitely be back in the future.

Now back to the questions.

- Advice Anon

>>3854024

THC is a chemically addictive drug, Anon. Even thought you say you're not addicted, if you can't just put it down and never touch it again, you're exhibiting signs of addiction. Realizing that is your first step.

Try to wean yourself off of it. By gradually decreasing the amount of the drug in your system over time, your brain will effectively need less of it. Try to keep track of your intake and smoke a little less each week. Stopping cold turkey is one way, but a gradual decrease is generally more effective.

If nothing else, you have an expensive habit that takes away a lot of your free time. You'll be amazed at how much of a better person you'll be once you quit. Use that as your motivation. Good luck, Anon.

- Advice Anon

>>3854532
Actually, I'm still trolling you harder than ever, just with a lot of seemingly legitimate questions. You've already answered five.

>>3854571
>THC is a chemically addictive drug

I'm going to need a source on this one big guy.

Sup advice anon, I'm a girl and there is a guy I've been hooking up with as he is far away at college and we just like to fool around during his breaks. I'm a virgin so I've never actually gone all the way. He hasn't ever asked me to have sex with him but we've done plenty of other stuff so I think he might be afraid or something. Do you think he's afraid I might get hooked on him? Should I just ask him if he wants to have sex?

>>3854591

LOL I TROLL U

I honestly thought this mentality gave up. Nobody gives a shit if you're disingenuous, as long as shit gets done.

I'm in a tricky situation, Advice Anon, and I need help fast.
I have my dress caught in the door, one hand is holding a hot frying pan full of sausages, the other is holding my blackberry, which I am using to get help. And to make things more urgent, the landline is ringing, and I think this could be the call I've been waiting for my whole life.
Please advice anon, help me answer the phone.

>>3854611
I'm just trying to waste his time and shit up the thread with too many questions for advice.

>>3854571

THC is not chemically addictive, there's nothing in there telling your body that it's needed. It has the potential for psychological addiction though.

>>3854076

Absolutely. Your first step is to let your manager know about your drive to success. Ask him/her to let you work on some special projects or tasks outside of your general area of expertise. Your boss is generally the person who controls your salary, so he/she is the person you need to impress.

Now, I never advocate "sucking up." That's the coward's way to get ahead. It sounds like you already do more than your fair share of work, so you just need to make sure your boss notices it. By proactively asking for areas in which you can help and showing initiative, you automatically stand out among your co-workers and look like the type of hard working person any boss would be proud to have.

Also, solicit your boss's (and your peers's, even) opinions on ways to improve. Let him/her know that you want to make sure you're not getting stagnant in your job, and you want some ideas on how you can improve or get to the next level. Maybe some additional training or branching out into different areas will help. This continues along the line of making you stand out and look like a better employee.

In 6 months or so, you want to sit down with your boss and have a little chat. Keep a log of all the extra work you've been doing (and the results of that work) and any steps you've taken to improve yourself. Let your boss know that you've busted your ass and you deserve a little extra compensation or a promotion to show you that your extra work was appreciated. Don't be afraid to ask - that might be the only way you get it.

Let your work speak for you, Anon. Best of luck.

- Advice Anon

>>3854630

Right, so you waste your life chortling over wasting some other guy's time, while some other guy feels life validation for solving 'problems'.

This is a sad circle jerk and the reason why internet junkies are looked down upon.

>>3854637

Addiction is addiction, in my book. Chemical, physical, spiritual, whatever. If you can't just put it down and walk away when you conscously want to, you're considered to be addicted.

I think we're both on the same page here, Anon.

- Advice Anon

>>3854648
That was one of my troll posts. You're up to six now.

Advice Anon, help! I haven't left the house in 6 days. About 21 hours of each of these days has been spent in my bed. I was thinking about going to Germany next week, but I'm low on cash.

What should I do? Get drunk? Go travel? Wallow some more?

>>3854218

You're absolutely on the right track, Anon. Make your move, and leave it up to her. As you pointed out, sitting around will get you nowhere. You need to show her you're interested and see if she reciprocates.

Basically, I'm in 100% agreement with your post. There's nothing creepy about asking a girl out. It happens all the time. Do it with confidence.

- Advice Anon

why do you end every fucking post with your name? We can see it as well as your god damn trip code you fucking faggot

>>3854676
Yeah, no one believes you.

>>3854656
As opposed to the internet junkies who are looked up to?

>>3854714
It's not about anyone believing me, it's about wasting Advice faggots time.

>>3854738
Yeah, well you aren't though, are you?

>>3853533
>>3853412
>>3853305
>>3853177
>>3852940
>>3852925
>>3852915
>>3852912
THESE WERE MY TROLL POSTS

>>3854285

Personal ads are a decent idea.

Your best bet might be to hang around in other places where like minded people might go. If you're a gay man, maybe fashion shows or hair salons might be an idea. Some cities have prominently gay areas where you generally have a much higher gay-to-straight ratio. Maybe take part in a gay/lesbian pride event, even.

Those are just a few ideas. I don't know how good you are at telling gay people from straight ones (it's definitely a skill), so that may affect how well this works. Either way, good luck.

- Advice Anon

>>3854725
You have the power to change your life.

This doesn't contribute to society, this doesn't contribute to your growth or well being, and you won't find many people who consider this fun. You're not getting a rise out of anyone (other than myself, good job trolling me)...wait.

9/10

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

As promised, I must now take my leave. Advice Anon needs some Advice Anon time. It's been a real pleasure being here, and I look forward to coming back sometime soon. I hope I was able to make at least one person's day a little bit better.

I hate to leave you, /r9k/, so I will give my email address. If I didn't get a chance to answer your question or you see this thread after I'm gone, feel free to email me. My address is theadviceanon@gmail.com (please don't troll me). I answer every serious question I get, when I have a chance, and I don't share your email address or details with ANYONE. Your question is just between you and I.

I'd like to thank you for your hospitality, /r9k/. You've really made me feel at home here, and I'm gracious. Trolls: I'll be seeing you again real soon. Don't forget me.

Until next time...

- Advice Anon

>>3854738

You're just a dick, bro. I had a whole response typed up deriding you for your childish behavior, but I don't think you're worth that. Instead I'll boil it down to three points:

1) You suck at trolling
2) Fuck off, we want to hear Advice Anon talk
3) You're a loser and you probably troll to improve your self-esteem as a result