"Look into the barrel of this gun."

STOP PUTTING THE PUSSY ON A PEDESTAL YOU FAGGOT

And

YOUR CAR IS SLOW YOU FUCKING FAGGOT

kill the nigger who is going to ma ke thsi thread when he grows up

you will get senioritis your sophomore year. Shit, too late, you're already halfway through with that.

PS, you can also start hitting on some girls now

"FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.

ALSO, DO YOUR FUCKING HOMEWORK!"

Dude, break up with that chick, or, at least don't fuck her. Her friend is much hotter, and will be on your dick within three weeks.

stick with your friends and stay where you are.


Maybe not, i enjoy some experiences I wouldn't have had.

you're still a virgin at 22, go fuck the fat girl

Invest all your money in Nintendo, shit may look bad, but believe me, you will have a pool filled with $100 bills to swim in by the end of 2008.

Nothing, this guy does not seem interesting.

"Muse is not that great of a band and will be hijacked by a stupid vampire novel cult in a few years."

"That chick your into? Yeah, she's into you too."

"Muse is not that great and will be hijacked by a shitty author who writes about vampires in a few years."

"That chick you're into? She's into you too."

DON'T DATE THAT BITCH SHE'S FUCKING BATSHIT INSANE. SHE'LL POISON YOU IN MORE WAYS THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE

don't worry dude! you will lose your virginity!! eventually!!!

It's clear you both really like each other, just fucking go for it.

When I was 20 she wrote me a letter saying how much she had liked me when we were 16 and how bad she felt when I didn't show her anything. I liked her so much I was terrified to do anything for fear of messing it up.

>>3593483
Why that?.

I see school and Homework even more useless now than when I did when I was at school.

I would tell my 16 year old self to breeze through school and bang hot chicks and party hard, then when you get your year 12 certificate, jump straight into a public sector job, make enough money to buy a shit load of music recording gear and produce a fuckwin dance album.

Don't put chestrub on your balls. It's only soothing for a minute.

>>3593538
>>3593527
having trouble deleting posts there?
>>3593459
dumb faggot, you can't go back in time and kill yourself. l2grandfather paradox

keep pushing it with your girlfriend, she may give it up if you put the moves on her hardcore, if not just dump her, shes a crazy bitch.

also, get more involved with shit, make more friends don't just stick with your nerdy group

You'll meet a girl name Nancy, ask her out 1 month after you guys started talking. YOU'LL FUCKING FALL IN LOVE WITH HER, DON'T THINK TO YOURSELF THAT YOU COULD END UP WITH THIS OTHER GIRL, NO FUCK YOU, GO OUT WITH NANCY AFTER 1 MONTH OF TALKING WITH HER!!!


YOU STUPID DUMBASS CUNT!

Don't put pussy on a pedestal, work out, focus on your future.

Life isn't so bad right now, but all the good things you've accumulated over the past four years could've started a lot longer ago.

>>3593517
this

Also: "WORK OUT AND EAT RIGHT YOU FAT FUCK!" "If you start now, you can be skinny by the time you're 18 instead of waiting until you're 22 and going to community college." "Also study more, you moran!"

attn: young me

don't play WoW

Tell tamara you like her in a responsible fashion. DONT FUCK THIS SHIT UP FAGGOT!

Don't approach that girl you liked in the other gym class out of the blue you've never spoken to before. You will be an awkward failure and she'll laugh at you.

2 weeks later you will have a more natural chance to interact with her via common acquaintance. However, you fucked that whole situation up by being an awkward creepy shit beforehand.

DUDE JUST WAIT RIGHT THERE
DROP EMILY RIGHT NOW, DON'T EVEN START WITH BETTINY MAN IT'LL BE TEN TIMES WORSE

JUST KEEP PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND SHIT, ALSO GROW POT ASAP

i'd go and murder most of the people of my graduating class off. not to be head of the class, but just for fun.

"Play Football your Senior year, you guys go undefeated and you'll get a scholarship to a D-2 school. And you can then spend your MGIB on your house."

"Remember that small asian girl who sat across from you in English, her name is Alyssa. She wants your dick. Smash on her."

"The Army was fucking fun, you learn some bad ass shit, and meet some cool people, take advantage of it, don't go through low-key."

"When you go to a bar after getting home from Iraq stay away from that blonde in the black dress girl. Her tits are great and all, but trust me on this one buddy."

"Don't think you're hot shit on your GIXXER first day out. You'll drop that shit and up your insurance 5%"

Don't be mean to your brother just because he hates Twilight. Once you convince him to read it, he'll love it just as much as you.

>>3593656
>"Remember that small asian girl who sat across from you in English, her name is Alyssa. She wants your dick. Smash on her."
Ok, this made me lol for some reason.

Uh, nothing I say will change how you do things in the slightest.

In 8 years you will still be a virgin, never had a girlfriend or even really attempted to get one.
You will have had a opportunity at something, but will fuck it up cause you are too insecure and self-loathing.
You still live at home, only have a job cause dad gave it to you, have 1 friend you see occasionally and only feel happy at a good game/win in SFIV or L4D.
You will wish for death or heroin addiction.


Maybe that will get you to not become the baaawing pussy faggot I am.

"Even if it looks great now, finance is ultimately a poor fucking career choice."

"Also, she totally would have fucked you."

Get all that attention whore behavior out of your system now. It will save you time in college.

Try to go to a university straight out the gate, fuck CC. If not, then have as much goddamn fun as possible. Don't hang out with Tom, he's a fucking loser. Talk to girls more often. Get that David DeAngelo bullshit out of your system, shit is for douchebags, and you sound like one. Get into lots and lots of social situations. You will be really awkward and make yourself look like a complete ass, alienating lots of people. Eventually you will learn and hone your social skills, but you have to learn the hard way.

Research lifting/training and train like this (program I'd have written for him). Start training jits at (place I'm training now). Compete often. Your shaolin/chinese martial arts stuff is mostly a waste of time. Stop looking for an identity in asian shit. Take off those beads, grow up. Get into lots of fights.

Make friends and connections with many people. It's not about what you do, but who you know. If you don't know what to do in college, study physics. It's legit.

Cultivate your relationships with our loved ones. Get the fuck over yourself. Learn to be more modest and classy, walk softly but carry a big stick, etc. But you'll learn this eventually, mostly after you get the attention whoring out of the way.

In 2008-2009 the stock market will crash like crazy. Tell mom and dad and plan accordingly. The house in Sacramento is going to shit due to nigger tennants. Sell it. Get grandma on dad's side to keep drinking water.

Beat the shit out of Michael when he calls Tara a whore. Don't stress about the moral implications, just do it.

I can't say much. Nothing really unexpected happens. Life stays the same shit as it has been for you for a few more years, at least. Just keep on working, I guess. And try to do some more extra curricular activities if you can.

In 2006... the Machines... became aware.... and killed everyone... only small pockets of resistance are left to fight.... see that girl Emily, yeah the hot one in your class... seduce her now, for your child will become a hero that takes the fight back to the machines.

>>3593656
about he girl with the tits, did you need admiral ackbar that night?

Get on accutane, don't completely give up on high school girls. It may be bad, but you'll appreciate the practice.

Only smoke a little bit of pot. Doing it everyday wastes all your money, and ruins it eventually.

Don't inject the cocaine. You'll overdose.

Listen to happy music when you get the acid, certainly not Further Down the Spiral.

Don't let them convince you to live in the dorms.

Never start smoking cigarettes. It's not hard to physically stop, but you'll learn to love them.

Read Marx.

Just dont bother with making friends....

>>3593736
Negative my good sir.

Her hillbilly boyfriend likes to throw bricks through the window of your Camaro. On top of that after the asswhooping you give him you end up in jail because "Billy Bob's" redneck uncle is an officer or some shit.

Shit was fucked up man.

Stop wasting your time and drop the fuck out. Fuck highschool was useless.

dont have sex with that faggot

Well that was only 2 years ago... Start working out NOW, you could've been done by now. Don't think that your time there was a waste, you made it that way and you can still fix it. Man up and don't quit your jobs, you'll need all the money you can get.

-Work out.
- Stop trying to be a "rebel", you faggot.
- Stop fretting over shit, it doesn't matter.

And this
>>3593461
>STOP PUTTING THE PUSSY ON A PEDESTAL YOU FAGGOT

should have committed more when you were younger

"brush your fucking hair once in a while faggot."

>>3593665
Are you Jordan's sister?

Hey. You know that Steven guy you think is cute?

Yeah. Ignore that douche. Go find someone else to act your horniness out upon. Seriously, that dick is not worth the years of fucked-up.

You already fucked up good by now.

Kill yourself. Dead.

THERE'S THIS GIRL

SHE DOESN'T LIVE VERY FAR AWAY, IN FACT, YOU CAN JUST WALK TO HER PLACE

SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOU YET, BUT WHEN YOU'RE OLDER SHE WILL AND SHE'LL LIKE YOU

BUT SHE'LL HAVE A BOYFRIEND THAT SHE'LL NEVER LEAVE

IF YOU MEET HER NOW, YOU'LL BE WITH HER INSTEAD OF HIM

GO FORTH FAGGOT, SHE'S TRULY A WONDERFUL AND RARE WOMAN INDEED

NOTHING ELSE IN THIS WORLD MATTERS (that i've encountered)

She was the one.

>>3593875
Friendzoned?

Cockblockz

Stay the course, pal. Though you're not going to be having sex. Ever.

Actually, you should start drinking.

"You're gonna look goooooood when ur older

Just keep going on the way you are going buddy, by the age of 21 you will be signed to a major record label and play the opening set at one of the world's major music events in front of 30,000 people.

Don't fuck that chick you meet Sophomore year in college. She'll be clinging on to you for the next 4 years, and when you actually start to like her, she'll fuck you over.

>>3593907
>Friendzoned?

Yes, but if only I had met her years earlier, I mean, literally when I was 16 it might be different. If not, I still have a wonderful friend whom I love very much.

DONT DATE THAT BITCH
NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK, SHES EVIL...
FUCK THE OTHER GIRL... CF IS EVIL
AB IS GOOD! FUCK AB, DONT FUCK CF... OR AT LEAST IF YOU DO FUCK CF, DONT EVER DATE HER.... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK AB RIGHT NOW!!! GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DONT FUCKING POP YOUR PIMPLES!! YOU WILL GET SCARS DONT FUCKING DO IT!!

DON'T EVER GO TO 4CHAN

FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK YOU STUPID FUCK

START WORKING OUT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE STILL FUCKING 12 YEARS OLD

STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM AMANDA
YOU'LL KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU MEET HER

I AM DISAPPOINT

>>3593928
name of your band?
mute blackszzzsddsf4456

stop crying and being gay, go listen to henry rollins or something.

Kill yourself now, save yourself 5 years of agonizing shit from everybody around you.

>>3593970
I'm not part of a band, i'm a single music producer.
I would give out the name normally, but management does not really like their artists posting about themselves on "unapproved" websites I guess is what you would call them.

Dump her before you get attached. Go after the other one. More girls will follow... just don't get attached to her, yeah her, you know who im talking about. Don't you dare do it!

Get weed now, dont wait until college. You might actually be happy.

I would give myself a list of all the music I have now.

>>3594016

genre/the show you were referencing?

You know those guys you're trying to form a band with? Stick with them. Seriously. They're pretty much the only ones around you who understand the real world. Everyone else is in 24/7 PARTY HARD mode. Also, next time some of them upload pictures of their big booze 'n pot bash to MySpace, send it to their parents and the principal. Much lulz can be had.

Also, forget C. She's incredibly self-destructive, will never get out of her downward spiral, and despite all the time you spend with her, she'll always go for the abusive fucks. Her glimmers of intelligence and behavior uncharacteristic of most girls at this age don't outweigh how much she's ruining herself, and, by extension, you.

Also, you and R broke up. GET OVER IT.

>>3594044
Progressive/Trance.

Even if you guess correctly though, I cannot actually say "har har you got me", management have a fucking shitstorm over their artists posting online, several other artists I know have gotten into shit over it.

>>3594080

cool shit brah, ima go google the hell out of you. good luck with your music.

Stay the fuck away from megan you dopey cunt.

1. Jack off on her face while she sleeps, its going to be hot, trust me.

2. make sure you in the bath with warm water, and the doors locked. Cut down the wrist not across like a faggot.

>>3594080
Change your myspace back to the old one, and come back onto IRC.

Listen up and listen up good. I'm you from the future. A few years from now you will discover a website named 4chan. Soon after, you will start browsing its most notorious board, /b/. After that, you will progressively discover the other boards, and after, other chans. The way you think will be completely altered, turning you into an emotionless, soulless machine. However, you will find liberation in this transformation. You will learn to see the strings that control the system. You will learn how to hack and how to obtain information that you previously thought inaccessible. You will read books about every subject, see all movies, talk to all people. Soon after, you will have found out everything you ever wanted to know. You will understand things that some that have tried their entire life to understand. Then you will realise you are alone. Despite all of your realisations, you will be alone, because no one will be there to comprehend the things you do. Then you will decide to quit the world as you know it and escape the system. This will bring you more power than before, but isolate you even more. You will live as a perfectly independent wandering outcast, without meaning or purpose, until you will realise that you must do the only thing that will remain after you are dead and all the knowledge you have accumulated will have disappeared into the nether. You must leave something behind so big that it will scar the Earth. You will then begin to put your plan into motion and soon enough you will create a web that will stretch everywhere you go. A petroleum-soaked web that will affect every living person and that can be ignited every moment with a single spark from you. Only from you. And if it is ignited, the world as you know it will change. It will change for the better, that is certain, but at great cost.
Now I give you, my young self, the choice whether to proceed or not with my plan.
Choose carefully.

Quit being a drama queen.

Cereal isn't a meal, dumbass.

>>3594080
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H8o_VQvoX8

You are not Armin van Buuren Tyson get down from there.

>>3593438
Hey jack ass quit always doubting yourself ,it will lead you to be alone ,and seemily with out friends and love,you were finding your way ok,
stop letting to weak push you around ,and fight like you like to ,crush anything in your way,
if wemon wanted to have sex with you do not question the right or wrong of it and fuck them ,not how you "think"they want a fuck ,just enjoy yourself,
if you let the weak influence you and intimidate you with theyre numbers you will be ALONE!AND DESPRATE,and labeled in a false manner in many ways ,you simply joys you wanted are attainable,simply take them and never look back into that underworld,you are not syssaphus.

None of the shit you worry about matters. Everyone else is as insecure as you are, and most of them aren't half as talented. There is no secret code, nor hidden symbolism, in everything that goes on. No one makes and constantly revises a list of their friends just so they can exclude you. It doesn't matter if a girl has a bf, she'll still go out with you if she likes you.

Volunteer for things. Get a resume that doesn't have five years of retail on it. Study economics. Drink more. Say all the things you think to people. Don't worry about whether you're smart or not, worry about whether or not you're getting the job done.

And for God's sake, tell her you don't wan to break up.

Just do what makes you happy, instead of what makes your parents or your peers "happy," whatever that means. It sounds simple, even stereotypical, but honestly it's just true. Look your sense of guilt in the eye and tell it to fuck right off, because you don't need it sometimes.

Jesus fucking tap-dancing Christ on a fucking crutch, stop playing Diablo 2 you fuck. Do your goddamn homework or go rob a fucking liquor store or something, anything but sitting there all day playing that game.

You know you're in love with him, follow your conscience. Spend every moment you can with him falling in love, because he won't be around for long. Take him to the doctor, he's dying.

CELESTE LIKES YOU!FUCK HER NOW! SHES MOVING TO TRINIDAD IN 3 YEARS!
DONT GO TO CULINARY SCHOOL!
STOP EATING AT MCDONALDS EVERY DAMN DAY!
AND YOU WONT GET INTO FSU,UF OR ANY COLLEGE YOU APPLY FOR!!

Don't do anything different because it would change the course of events and I wouldn't be able to give you this warning on /r9k/

Make friends with the faggots at the Google booth.
I know Lycos has models, but the guys at google seem nice.

I don't have to go back in time.

Don't send moot any money, let 4chan die gracefully.

Take a year off of school before you go into college. If you still want to go to college, be undeclared. Don't go into Information Technology, and for god's sake, apply to more than two schools.

>>3593438
Stop being an insufferable, dumb bitch and stop failing at life. Either stop causing drama and having no friends or kill yourself like you were planning to.

>>3593438
You're not cool just because you're the only one you know who likes Velvet Acid Christ and goes on Livejournal.

>>3594661
ban this stupid faggot
mutbleokc

For fucks sake. He's your best friend and seems like everything you want to be yourself, but jesus fuck, don't try and emulate him. It only leads to frustration when you finally come to that realisation that you can never be him. Work on becoming your own person, then maybe you'll actually get yourself fixed up.

Also, this year is a VERY important one in your life. Decisions you make here and now will be very far reaching, and will help to shape the next 10 years of your life. If you don't want to be a useless faggot like me, put some fucking effort in, and work your way through school. Get yourself a good base, and you'll go far. If you ignored that advice, you're going to have an...interesting next few years. The opportunity to move to the city will appear, and it will be good. Once you're there, and you have that really good job, remember this: FUCKING PAY RENT, AND DON'T LET YOUR HOUSE TURN INTO A RUBBISH DUMP. This is very important. If you follow the latter course, and don't pay attention to the CAPS LOCK, you'll end up evicted, living in the middle of shitsville stuck in a bad, horrible situation with no foreseeable way of making things better.

Anyway, take either of the two courses of action I laied out, but if you do, fucking commit to them and don't be a faggot and ruin your life like I have.

I would say every fucking line from courage wolf

On the fourth day after the third night, when the moon is full and the sky is bright, walk to bindigo bluff and scale the cliffs. At the bottom is a ravine with a pathway to untold riches. Turn left, not right unless you wish to fight. Do not trust the blue eyed one, she will betray you and you shall be undone.

You did good kid, no worries, just keep doing what you do.

-Get the best god damn grades you can so you aren't fucked over in college, no exceptions.
-Hang out less with those TI faggots. Go hang out with Joe and Ian and Ben and shit. You'll be happier hanging out with them instead of painting your nails and shit. Fuck, self, didn't you just want to CHOKE Hannah? You don't have to hang out with preppy bitches just because you're a girl.
-Also. Just in case my appearance has major effects on your future, go to Ohayocon '07. Keep a watch for this kid in a long black coat with red hair in the back of the room at the dance on Saturday night, sitting alone. He's real emo looking, but it's only because he just accidentally hit himself in the nuts with glowsticks. Go up to him. Be yourself and don't leave him alone. Insist you hang out. Try to exchange phone numbers or AIM at the convention. If you can't, check the forums afterwards. He will be asking for you. If he doesn't ask online, here's his AIM; (insert AIM here), his name is Teddy. You may not know it now, but he is the person who is going to save you from thinking about AJ. I don't know if it lasts, but eventually, you'll stop crying and be happy. Careful of the songs Follow Me and Under the Sun, though. Sometimes those can start the waterworks. Don't cry infront of Teddy. He doesn't understand, and gets upset, but don't blame him. He's never been in our situation.
-GET A JOB. Fuck we have an expensive hobby. Get your license, too. I know, I know, you hate driving. Just do it. Trust me.
-/cgl/ is your friend.
-Run. Every day all free time run. Don't jog, run. That is all you need to do to stay in shape. So stop being fat and get toned now instead of later. If you still have free time left over after running, sew. Everyone is good at one thing, right? Well ours is costumes, so get practicing.

LOSE WEIGHT YOU FAT BITCH

HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN

Go after that chick with the big breasts in your theatre class. She wants YOU badly, grows into a respectable hottie, and remains your friend despite marrying an asshole. Beat the asshole to the punch.

'You're alright, Kid.'

-When shaving your balls do not use a knife, instant falsetto
-After finishing jacking off don't wipe everything under your desk. Room starts to smell like shit and there are cum stalactites under your desk now.

>>3595622
-After finishing jacking off don't wipe everything under your desk. Room starts to smell like shit and there are cum stalactites under your desk now.

EEEEEWBLOX

1. go to the doctor and get some delicious ADHD medication.
2. cut off all contact with your father.
3. stop being an emo, faggot

-Stop smoking pot, you faggot.

-Get a job, you faggot.

"Stop being a furry faggot this instant."

But maybe that already happened because I totally got over that phase of my life. Huh.

Stop trying to be a special snowflake.

NOTHING is important or awesome enough to risk social awkwardness over. NO ONE cares about your obsessions. Even if one person did care, it still wouldn't matter, because you talk like a retard.

Finish your maths and German homework.

Be nice to your parents for a change. Stop going to that one bar, you won't find any friends there. Stop trying to upstage your teachers. Wear normal clothes and wash your hair more often.

Get the shit away from that guy. He is a horrible, horrible person.

Troll Scientology. It's A++ fun.

You know how you always have these ridiculous thoughts about how your life is gonna change with your next birthday/school/break/whatever? And you know how you always think, in the back of your mind, that nothing's really gonna change, and shit's just gonna happen exactly like you're afraid of it happening?

Yeah, it does happen like that. So act like Costanza, and do the opposite of what you think you should do. Mostly, don't sit on your ass and expect shit to change without your input.

Change it to eighteen and I'd have some things to say

I wouldn't say anything, I'd just punch myself in the face for a week straight.

1. Do not drop out of school.
2. Sell your vidya games and actually start reading something for a change.
3. Start eating healthier food.
4. Visit the dentist more.
5. No...do not go out with that girl you will meet in 6 years, she's nothing but trouble.
6. Start a savings account and save some damn money.
7. Get more friends and try to actually be social.

DON'T BRING IT TO SCHOOL !
YOU'LL GET BUSTED AND HAVE TO DO 80 HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE.
I still at my parents house because of that shit. ; _ ;

My life was already well beyond repair at 16...

Go see a doctor. Fuck.

And yes, chicks did find you attractive.

Take the blue pill, not the red.

Fuck anything that moves. You could have impregnated enough of them to start a new race. DO NOT FAIL YOUR DUTY TO THE RACE!

You , yourself are a fuck-up. You won't ever find out who your actual personality is so just emulate people who are awesome; i recommend Nick Cave as a good starting point. Don't browse through the internet on your spare time, its a waste of time and you won't really learn much beside stupid facts that have no relevance in your life. Also you gotta start buying better clothes. Also go to parties start drinking and smoking and bang the annoying kid you called emo on the train.

Just kill yourself, theres no point in living
the next 5 years just has more suffering

Get 2 grand out of the account, get a power rack, a bench, a set of adjustable dumbells, an olympic barbell and all the weight plates you'll ever need.

2 years from now you'll pick up a dumbell for the first time in your life and never want to put it down. Get ahead of the competition now and work your fucking ass off you fat little cunt.

PS: stop eating pies and go for a run you fat sack of shit, if I ever come across you I will beat the living shit out of you and piss on your bloated corpse; much love homie.

what's the future like, bro?

lose weight. ask kelly out after you lose weight. don't be dumb. read a bunch, spend much less time online. i mean that's basically it 16 is too late to change much.

When I was 16, I used to wish that myself from ten years in the future would come and punch me in the fucking face once a day to get me to stop fucking my life up.

Now I'm 25 I want nothing more than to go back in time once a day and punch my 16 year old self in the face.

Keep doing exactly what you are doing.

When the cps guy finally comes to take you out of that situation, make sure to stuff EVERY SINGLE VIDEO GAME YOU OWN into your backpack that school day. You'll never see them again. try to bring the bass and amp too. Make up an excuse "I need them for a project" or some shit.

Get out more. Drink less (alcohol and sugary drinks, that is). Don't get attached to her, but do go for her friend.

And don't be a dick and ignore her for the next two years. You'll regret it when you meet her again and find out how much you loved just being her friend. She's not relationship material.

Eat less, study more.
She wants your cock, get on it! Then you won't still be a virgin at 18.
Cut your fucking hair.

fuck as many underaged as possible!

Kill yourself now instead of being such a pussy.

- buy google stock
- don't wear that stupid long hair parted in the middle, the parting will stick and from that point onward your hair will always look ridiculous, no matter how you cut it

DON'T VOTE FOR BUSH IN 2004 GODDAMN WHAT WERE YOU THINKING

- brush your fucking teeth
- you dont have to eat everything
- waiting for sex is stupid, fuck anything that talks to you
- beat the shit out of your little brother now or else he will be a bum for the rest of his life

>>3596388

>vote

>16yo self

wat

He was 16 before or during 2002.

>>3596433

I turned 18 just before the 04 election. Listened to Hannity everyday. God, I was such a tool.

>>3596388
ahahaha oh man this is the best one

i am so sorry :(

>>3596461
>>3596452
>>3596388
what were you all thinking?
was he running against a goat or something
and you just thought "well hes the lesser of two evils"

"It gets worse"

>>3595738
What's "it"?

Real steel, or meth?

>>3596475
John Kerry would have probably been a two term president and encated UHC. Oh well, America

stay with your first set of friends you dumb twat...

Lay off the books and get more of a social life. You will get into your course easily.

When the girl hooks up with you at a party in a few years pound the fuck out of that and don't think about the consequences. Morals are for faggots.

Start drinking responsibly. I fucking mean it.

Keep the fuck away from Sharhzad.
Hang out with that weird asian girl on the train

dear 16 year old self...

learn mixed martial arts
life gets a lot better
get a job before you graduate college
invest in a company that handles foreclosures and house sales

Get a better hair cut
Wear better clothes
Ditch Guitar, pick up Bass instead
Stop squeezing those zits so much
Ditch those douchebags.

DRAW YOU SONOFABITCH

>>3593438
Tell??

I'd be sucking my own cock.

omg hi it's me from the future olol

Hey! Yeah you! I mean me...whatever! Put the Yu Gi Oh cards down and listen to me. Oh hey Benny, excuse us for a minute.

-
Your little sister is gonna bring one of her friends over. Her name is Cherie. She's gonna have sex with you in a week.

FUCK.THE.LIVING.SHIT.OUT.OF.HER (wear a condom).

Why? Because she's asking for it by wearing short shorts around your house while your mother isn't home.

She's gonna say that she doesn't want to take her shirt off. Take it off of her anyway. So what if she's flat chested? That's a good thing.

-
You're going to meet a girl named "Sheena" in your first year of high school. Avoid the bitch like the plague. She's a gold digger. She'll come up to you everyday and ask for money without saying hi.

You're going to meet a girl named "Antoinette" in your second year. Avoid her like the fucking plague. She's a complete bitch and attention whore. She's gonna put you in the friend zone

-
Take up martial arts. Preferably Shotokan or Judo. Fuck Karate. Leave that Rex Kwon Do shit alone.

-
Ask Denise out. Fuck Richard, he stopped being your friend when he made he called her fat,made her cry and got her into that thinspiration bullshit.

Oh yeah and watch out for that trap card. Attack then activate your "heavy storm" the minute he flips it.

You'll thank me later.

These simple numbers.

7 16 38 19 21 // 26

STOP SMOKING WEED AND PAY ATTENTION IN SCHOOL

>>3597400

Oh yeah and stop being such a fucking homophobe. Try it atleast once.

You did when you were younger.

Side note: No kissing and bring condoms.

You'll start to lose your hair at 18. Don't grow a pony tail, shave it off you get pussy by the barrell full

Don't go on Holiday with Tammy, she's screwing a guy from work and will dump you on it

Don't do Bobs sister, you'll lose him as a mate and she's a crank

Abandon your religion now, while you're still young enough to salvage high school.

Also, it will only get worse. Start smoking weed and drinking now.

Don't choose maths for A Levels.
Choose Photography (lol) or English instead, even if you're doing Physics.
Fuck Maths.
Oh and revise more so you don't fuck up your ASes. They're not as important as A2s, but they're STILL FUCKING IMPORTANT.

You should be wearing medium not large, and you're too skinny for pants that baggy. You look ridiculous.

Go ahead and drop Chemistry now.

You're cute. All it takes is confidence.

nothing i could ever say would change how our life would plays out. cannot change time. but i'll give you advice you won't follow: stop playing video games. start working out with dad. don't blow of school like a faggot. hang out with melissa more. you will never find a girl like her again.

Suck lots of dick. You know you like it. It's not gay unless you touch your balls with his balls.

>>3593438
How much time do i have to tell myself these things?

Would i say, have enough time to draw out massive blueprints? (at least 50 A4, 70% paper coverage on average)

How about massive chunks of code from games / website / general programs?
(note that i already knew a good deal of this stuff back when i was 16)

All my AI research? Actually scrap that, i haven't even begun to memorize all of that...

'Even if you don't go out much; don't go out at all. Stay in and read books. When you get to 19, don't be such an egotistical bitch with your first girlfriend. She was the only human being worth worshiping in the whole fucking world and you are gonna lose her.'

Stand up for yourself
Stop skipping school and knuckle down to work you lazy fucker
Ask her out, she probably likes you
Don't try and dye your hair blonde, it'll be a fucking disaster
Get out of this town at the earliest opportunity and make a life for yourself elsewhere.

It only gets worse so stop being hopeful. I don't think I'd want myself to have done anything differently. I've secured my future academically, professionally and financially if I start doing some work for the first time in my life. Nothing I could've done would've made me not become a friendless virgin recluse.

This shit is really depressing.

bone the fuck out of amber or karen, or both...

Do economics, science, math or core subjects at A level. The other subjects may look more interesting, but they'll get boring, you'll skip classes and still get above 90% , you might as well do subjects that could lead into Oxbridge.

Lower universities doing interesting courses may look fun but they are full of retards and not the intellectuals you wanted to meet at university.

There isn't much I would have changed, maybe "get a fashion sense a little bit earlier, chicks dig it." something like that.

Bitches are BITCHES!

Ask her out four months earlier. She liked you then.

kill yourself you pathetic faggot

TURN OFF THE GODDAMN COMPUTER YOU'RE ACTUALLY RUINING A PERFECTLY GOOD FUTURE

Staying with her actually works out pretty well. And do your fucking work in college.

Do not, I repeat, do not fall in love with Ruth. Avoid her like the plague, or you'll just end up hurt.

dont get in the car, and dont drop math

Drink more beer

don't get mike into painkillers. You can handle it, he can't. He'll start shooting heroin as soon as he gets to college.

>>3598331

Ruth has had secks with most dudes you know

just putting that out there

mine: dude, be nicer. you've got nothing to prove and shit works out fine, so just be nice.

do something, because life for the next 8 years are shit.
stay in school
work out and eat a lot
get out of the house and get off of the computer

"Just because she seems nice now and she's the first girl that's shown you any attention in a long time, she's a bitch and she's not your soul mate like you think.

Also, stop being a lil bitch."

Ignore the chick with the big tits, conditionally.

You will be in a situation where you will be be very drunk and wanting very much to fornicate, but if you do not stop her from drinking after she gets to that point, she will have to throw up and your chances of getting in her pants will disappear.

Unless you do that, friendzone her so she will stop emotionally wrecking you.

Get a fucking haircut you look like a faggot, and start wearing normal clothes you bum

Also, shave your fucking giant goatee and grow a normal manly beard

Get ready for your life to become shit. And there's nothing you can do about it, because the reason for it has been ingrained into your mind since you were young, and you never even realized it.

DON'T DATE HER

YOU'LL NEVER GET OVER HER

You should ask girls out for the hell of it. You don't need to like them you faggot!

Don't fucking try to explain to her why you're not a Christain.

Fucking dumbass, that's why you'll lose her.

DON'T TRUST THAT FUCKING WHORE.

She will do and say anything to save her fucktard loser boyfriend from drugs. Don't tell her anything about the business your friends have trusted you with. Just because she does drugs doesn't mean you can tell her everything.

Just learn to mouth shut in general. It might feel cool telling people about the shit you've done and seen, but you will earn much more respect by shutting the hell up.

Oh, and tell Scott to take Josh's gun out of his car before he goes to the school talent show, and to not drop the fucking bullets in the school like Josh the dumbass. It will suck when he goes to jail for three months.

create some shit called youtube

Better concentrate on getting a carreer going ASAP. Leave your idiotic family behind, they dont know how shit works. Dont try to fuck around with college, you're not rich you cant go there.

You're fat. No, it's not muscle. Yes you're a strong and athletic football stud, but you're still fat. Stop taking bags of chips and cookies into your room, and stop drinking pop. You'll lose weight, and your romantic prospects will vastly improve.

Your best friend Derek is going to start going to a boarding school in Utah. Don't be your normal antisocial self. Keep in touch with him. The same goes for Shaun when he goes off to college next year.

Your going to get very depressed soon. It's not 'chemical' like the doctors say, and you're not bipolar. You do have ADD though, so play along with the doctor thing, but only take the adderall.

Carly is going to break up with you soon. It's not because she doesn't like you, quite the opposite. She's just no secure in herself, and she gets scared after the first time you guys get 'intimate'. The day after she tells you, she's going to give you a look in history class like she wants to talk. Rather than being pissed off about it and ignoring her, talk to her and walk with her after class.

You're working at a grocery store now, right? Make sure you buy a guitar with this money and start playing. It'll become your greatest passion, and you'll join a band when you're about 18 or 19 years old (playing the bass, and you're fucking good, believe me). You guys will be quite successful, and believe it or not, it will actually be your job.

You are fat. It's not muscle. You are a 5'6" little girl. You shouldn't weigh as much as some dude who is 6'5". Diet. Eat less. Exercise more. You know those little cheerleaders, they aren't anorexic. Just the correct weight for their body frames. You are 16 and shouldn't be able share clothing with your 50 year old mother and 70 year old grandmother.

Also, learn to drive and get new hobbies. Anime is fail. You already are falling into the stereotype of a weeaboo faggot. See that fat redhead in class that keeps talking in fangirl japanese? That might be you in a year or so. You must stop this faggotry now!

Stay on course, bro. It sucks but it'll work out.

Don't choose the 'easy' computer science option for college. Go for any of the other options you thought of. Yes, you'll probably have to put in the effort to get through rather than playing video games, flicking through the course notes and turning up to exams - but what use is a degree that drives you completely away from it's field?

Give the fuck up, kid. Give the fuck up.

Next year you're going to GHP. Don't be super nervous about the hot girl you meet. Fucking remember to call her after GHP ends!

Other than that I have nothing. Kid, your life will take a path, and some good things will happen and some bad things will happen. I don't know if I'd lose the good to get rid of the bad, so just live your life.

Be more aggressive in your senior year. Don't do nothing. Ask girls on dates. They might actually do something.

Be smarter when it comes to a girl named Julie. She's Kim's sister. Whatever you do, don't fall for her. Nothing good in that. She has a boyfriend.

Wow, sure is cool here in the future.

Practice trumpet more seriously, you actually have the potential to be a pro at it.

Don't go to Emerson, don't try to be the next Howard Stern, just stick with music and take it more seriously.

Don't worry, you'll find the right girl eventually, you don't know her yet, but you'll met her when you're 22.

Get ready for flying cars in 12 years. Also, start gaining weight so you'll be perfect for moon colonization.

Listen to your inner voices and do as they tell you, just kill every motherfucking one who's ever hurt you, set fire to the schools, stab them, hunt them down after school, drink their blood and eat their brains just as I know you've dreamed of doing all this time. For fucks sake, stop sitting there shaking and praying it will get better coz it won't, no one actually cares about you and if they do that just makes it worse coz they know what shit you have to put up with every fukkin day and they ain't doin shit about it!! Dig out that recepie for napalm and try it out. KILL THEM KILL THEM ALL!!!!

GET OFF MY LAWN YOU GODDAMN KIDS

l12313@|

>>3598350
I love how you try to be depressing, but fail completely because you know nothing of the circumstances. See, she doesn't even know any of the guys I know. Next time you try to steal depression dog's place, try to be more general, so you've got a better chance at a critical hit.

>>3593557
Sounds like you've got some mamihlapinatapai going on, cuzzo.

Don't worry about those random fantasies you have about the guys. Just enjoyed them . Soon your only fancy guys and really hot girls. Its all cool though. Its not like one of those major dramas and you've got liberal parents. Work hard but party harder. Pester parents to move into town. Oh and get a sport , I mean it would be nice to have a better physique. But don't worry too much. Life gets better each year really.

Start losing weight now, kid. It'll only make things easier.

Oh, and you will get a girl once you stop dressing like a tard

Visit the World Trade Center on the morning of September 11, 2001 *trollface.jpg*

Get her cold. Fuck her while she's still clean.

This might be depressing, but whatever; it's just honesty.

- Dad has cancer, and unless you get him to do something about it instead of denying anything's wrong, he's going to die at the end of 2008.

- You know that revolutionary treatment dad is going to get at the end of 2008? Well, they're going to keep pushing back the date, and by the time the treatment finally arrives, he won't be around anymore. MAKE him go to England anyway and push it if you want him to stand a chance. He can get better help there beforehand, so maybe he won't die a week before you're supposed to get there.

- Tell that guy from Drama that you like him before he starts dating that girl. He likes you, but is too shy to say anything. But do it in your second year, during rehearsals.

- You won't be a 40 year old virginfag. You'll lose it when you're 18, so don't worry about that shit.

Stop being so shy. You're awesome and these people won't matter once you hit college. Learn to make small talk. Don't stress about HW. By the way, yes your mom is clinically insane and you will be too if you're not careful. And start learning fun things now, don't wait for college. Search that mysterious internet thing for 'robot projects'.

Show your work in algebra.
Patience and understanding far outpower angst.
Always remember, to catch things just lift up both of your feet at the same time, not just your front foot.
It's all a headtrip.
Get a job, practice driving, go to shooting range with dad.
Try to be chill towards your stepmother, granted she's clueless, but at least she is trying.
Don't orchestrate your dad kicking out your sister, it fucks shit up down the road.
Quit being a pussy and hit those rails.
Mom is going to fail an attempt at an hero in a few months, be ready for christian shitstorm.

1) don't worry, you'll catch up
2) that doctor? the old guy? yeah. Fuck him, get a refferal.
3) stop being such a coy twat and tell him you love him, he likes you too it will save a lot of hassle and you'll be so happy.
4) when she calls you coldhearted "she doesn't mean it" but fucking rage at her, you hear me? RAGE else youll be dealing with her emotional manipulation till you're 24.

>>3599710
>to catch things just lift up both of your feet at the same time, not just your front foot.

huh?

"Everything we ever do is fucking awesome. Good job, teenage self."

She loved you bro. But you were too insecure so she dated your best friend and they're still together 3 years later.

Way to fuck shit up dipshit.

"Stop being an insecure loser faggot. You're awesome and you know it."

don't go out with her, she seems perfect but you'll only end up killing yourself tonight.

>>3599363
Slow down, fatty! We're not on the moon yet!

"Your friends will tell you of this place, and they will tell you of the treasure it hidess and the wonders it holds... They will tell you you should go; but don't do it. You will never be the same. Avoid 4Chan at all costs."

"Nobody gives a fuck that you're gay. Quit being such a pussy shit and come out."

Change your hairstyle, your current one looks fucking awful, also better clothes, you look like a nigger. Ah don't date Oscar he's too preppy and you'll get bored of him quickly. Save money, don't waste it on manga, and learn to play an instrument, you'll thank me 3 years later

stop snorting oxycontin. eventually you'll get addicted and fuck yourself up pretty fiercely for awhile.

"You my good sir are fucking amazing. The space-time continium doesn't have shit on you. Plus, you started at 15, just travled BACKWARD in time, and still managed to grow a year older. We're badass."

Hey me. Economy's gonna start sucking around 2008 and/or 2009, so we get our own little Depression! Yaaay! Seriously though, start pinching your pennies around those years, hell, maybe even earlier (but don't let that stop you from getting those games you want). Some time in the future, when you're brother's girlfriend is over, and your family is preparing to head out for Thanksgiving at grandpa's as usual, there'll be some guy outside, and he'll ask you if you're brother's girlfriend is inside. LIE THROUGH YOUR FUCKING TEETH, THIS GUY IS MOST LIKELY GOING TO MAKE YOUR THANKSGIVING FEEL AWKWARD, WILL COMPLICATE YOUR BROTHER'S LIFE ABIT MORE, AND YOU'LL FEEL LIKE A DOUCHE AFTERWARDS. Also, hound your brother to wear condoms when he's in the mood for getting it on. IF YOU DO NOT, EXPECT TO HAVE A CUTE NIECE AROUND 2008-2009, WHOSE MOTHER HAPPENS TO BE AFOREMENTIONED GIRLFRIEND, WHO'S ACTUALLY KIND OF A BITCH.

Sometime when you're doing volunteer work for a hospital, there will be a nice, if somewhat chubby, girl who'll ask if you want to see Ghost House or some shit like that with her. DO IT, IT'S THE CLOSEST YOU'LL GET TO A DATE. Plus, you never really get around to seeing "The Last Samurai" in theatres anyway.

Oh, and lastly....:GROIN KICK TO PAST SELF GOES HERE: ...you know what that's for. If you don't, you will in a couple of years.

"Hey bro, just want you to keep on rockin' in the free world!"