pls post moar, will read.

pls don't bell air, will masturbate if bell-aired.

A true Australian patriot

It's probably speech marks or hypens - they're rendered as prettier unicode characters in a lot of word-processing software.

His love, lost. His love, stolen from his arms. At night, he would desperately steal wisps of his love from the darkness, traces of fevered desire. The psychiatrist assigned to him would stare at him through clear lenses, clear eyes, for minutes it seemed, wordless. Joseph would shift under his gaze, peer out the barred window at the shapes of trees and cars and chain-linked fences. Then the doctor would mouth slow paragraphs, trace his golden pen over his notepad, drawing letters from Joseph's silence. 'Delusional, animal, cruel, sick, depraved.'

'They'll kill me - they'll rip me apart. I, I - you can't put me in there. They're depraved, it's a death sentence - please, please, no, no - I loved her. I only wanted to keep her safe, the basement was her castle, I protected her.' His fearful words bounced off the steel walls of hte van. Two guards stared past him, hands lying easily on dark hard shotguns, heavy knuckles jostling with the van, tired faces blank. They ignored his pleas. The van rolled on.

When the doors opened, Joseph caught sight of the blue Australian sky for what could only have been the last time. Rough hands hauled him from the van, and he was stripped, doused with freezing cold water, coated with a thick powder that made him cough, thrown into a pitch-dark cell. He had maybe an hour of quicksand time to nurse his bruises and sink into the darkness, imagine that it was his basement with his sweet-heart nearby, before bright lights shot on and jackboots swooped in, fists swinging. They held him against the bars and beat him unconscious. With each blow, the whole world reeled madly, his brain tumbled through space. He woke up mewling, bubbles of air cracking through the blood caked on his lips. When they threw in a plate of food, he couldn't eat it, his jaw was too swollen.

He could not smell her any more. But even in the torment of the pitch-dark cell, away from his love, he was scared of what would come next. Scared of the perverts and murderers and rapists circling like wolves around his cell. They wanted his blood. Even among them he was exceptional, despicable. Men who had burst into homes, broken the bones of innocents and savaged crying women, hated him, considered him sick. They would kill him. They would tear him apart. Not even a fragment would be left!

After a month or so, arms pulled him blinking into the light. The guards shoved him along concrete hallways and into the main cell-block, catcalls and hollers breaking out as he appeared. The soft, lilting taunts drifted towards him like carving knives, and Joseph's heart galloped at the noise, and only the tight grip of the guards let him keep his composure. His face went white, and for the first time, he felt fear. They threw him into a dank cell with open bars, locked the door and marched off.

Eventually the jeers died down, and the prison quieted down to a low hum for night, punctuated by the occasional strangled scream of tormented dreamers. Suddenly Joseph realised that he was not alone, and he felt warm piss soaking into the mattress in fear. The top bunk groaned. Joseph quivered in fear as a dark shape swung over the side, and dropped silently down to the ground. It was a grotesquely fat man. He leaned towards Joseph, breathing thickly through his mouth, and tiny eyes appeared in the darkness, darting feverishly over the outline of Joseph's body beneath the thin blanket. He slid his tongue, fat and glossy like a slug, across his bulbous lips.

'Please,' Joseph said, 'don't hurt me.'

The fat man stared into his eyes. 'I know who you are.' His voice was soft and melodic. 'I know what you did. I know why you're here.'

'Don't hate me, I can't help it, I only loved her.'

'Do you want to know why I'm here,' the fat man said, a smile creeping onto his lips, 'I snuck into a kindergarten, killed the teachers, and raped all of the children. We had a special class.'

Joseph felt the stirring of an erection beneath the blanket. 'Then... then you know the beauty of rape? Were you, too, born to rape?'

The fat man slid his eyes along the bed to where Joseph's hard cock was arching and pushing the blankets up. He licked his lips. 'Yes. I was born to rape. And I've been... waiting, to meet you. Waiting, to meet my master.'

Joseph looked up at the fat man in wonder. He reminded him of a sweet girl Joseph had known in New Zealand, a dusty city bordering the Outback, where Joseph had worked as a lathe-operator in the day, and raped tirelessly at night. The fat man slid his hand down beneath the blankets, found Joseph's cock and began to rock it back and forth. Joseph lay back and let himself come to a slow climax. The fat man pulled his hand out and wiped it against his trousers, giggling like a child.

Then Joseph jumped out of bed, and smashed the fat man in the face with a fast punch. He reeled back, and Joseph swiftly kicked him between the legs, sending him crashing to the ground. Joseph sank his foot into the soft flesh, kicking and kicking until the fat man's face was a mess of blood and bruises. Then he rolled the fat man onto his belly, pulled down his pants, and entered him harshly, ripping into his anus, plunging back and forth as the fat man moaned in pain. Joseph was grunting, a savage grin upon his face. He finished, hitched up his pants, and, just for fun, began to beat the fat man again. Suddenly he was feeling really good, as if he had forgotten the torment of the last months. He could smell his beloved again.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FRITZL FANFIC AND THEY ARE ABOUT TO FUCK EACH OTHER?

ARGHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO

The power of rape was flowing through his body, building up within him like flames in a furnace. Joseph raised his head and howled fiercely, splitting the quiet prison air and stirring up shouts and cries from the other prisoners. He bounded over to the bars, wrapped his fingers around the iron, and, fueled by thoughts of rape, tore them aside like eucalyptus branches. Immediately he was confronted by three guards who had rushed over, flashlights and nightsticks swinging in the dark, to investigate the howl. One of them was talking quickly into his radio, but they all stopped and were speechless when they saw Joseph tear out of his cell. Joseph ran towards them, slipped past the clumsy blows of their nightsticks, and barraged them with kicks and punches. Within moments all three guards were on the floor in a bloodied heap, and Joseph fell down upon them, raping each one swiftly.

As he was raping them, the main lights in the prison switched on. The prisoners quickly flocked to their bars to look upon the spectacle of Joseph's miraculous rape-fest, jaws agape. More prison guards streamed in, with mace and clubs and pistols, but Joseph was immune to their slings and arrows. Rape protected him, and with inhuman power, he savagely pulverised every single guard in the space of a minute, then set about raping each one with the virility and stamina of a god. The prisoners were speechless.

Joseph rose up from the sticky buttocks of the last prison guard, and looked out at his audience. He twirled round in a circle, taking in the hundreds of faces staring at him with amazement and respect. He had vanquished the evil guards with the power of rape. This audience had viewed his miracle, this audience of rapists and paedophiles, murderers and lunatics, and they had loved him. Joseph knew what to do.

'Friends, prisoners, rapists - you have been locked away by a society that hates you for what you are, by a society that denies you your true power and beauty, that blinds itself to your potential. You have been locked away, by a society that hates you only because you are different! But no longer! No longer, my friends! Now it is time for us to rise up together, and show the society that scorned us how truly mighty we are!' A great cheer welled up from his audience. Arms waved through the bars, faces turned red with excitement. Joseph spun at the centre of it all, feeling so close to his beloved, arms raised and head thrown back as the cries washed over him.

'I am your king!' he cried.

'All hail the king!' cried the prison, 'all hail the king!'

And as the power of rape filled the prisoners, they too sprang open their bars and streamed down to the bottom floor, gathering behind Joseph. Then Joseph lead the procession out of the prison, swatting down iron gates and tearing aside hapless guards. When they were outside, Joseph looked up at the beautiful Australian sky, that he had thought he would never see again. Then he turned to his legion, and cried, 'My chosen people, if I am to be your king, then I must have a queen!' The crowd roared, and Joseph led them across the Outback to Uluru, the capital of Australia. Joseph realised that he had lost his power of rape when Elisabeth had gone to the hospital, and he had been unable to rape her for several days. Never again would he let such a stupid mistake cost him so dearly.

They marched into the town, heading straight for the house where Joseph knew Elisabeth was living now. When they reached the house, Joseph turned to his people and told them to go away from him, to spread across the globe and take over the world with the sacred power of rape. Some of his people cried at the thought of leaving their beloved leader, but they obeyed, and went out into the world. With the power of rape, they spread into every town, raping everything in sight. Soon over two-thirds of the children being born were the children of Joseph's sacred army of rapists. Within a few years their genes would come to dominate, and rapists would become the rulers of the world - and Joseph their King.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

WHAT. THE. FUCKING. FUCK.

also good troll on Fritzl being Australian, 7/10

please stop

dasbloox

cool fanfiction bro! How long did it take you to write?

what the fuck.

the power of rape tearing apart prison cells.

Frank, you are an idiot and a troll (australia)

Joseph had sent away the Wild Things, and now, Joseph had a more pressing concern. With a single tap of his finger, he broke the front-door into sawdust, and strode into the house. He could smell shrimp on a barbie somewhere, and behind that, her scent, strong and deliriously magnetic. He found her in the living room, her mouth slack as she watched him stride in. She was as beautiful as he remembered her, ethereal and pale, her eyes staring out at him like pearls.

'What - you're out? Father - no! Please, no - no more basement.'

'Elisabeth, don't be a dope! I have become the King of the Wild Things! And you will be my Queen, Elisabeth - my Queen.'

Elisabeth trembled, looked up at him, her eyes pleading. 'Does this... will this mean, no more raping?'

'Oh Elisabeth, you silly girl! It will mean over 9000 times MORE raping than ever before! For what is the point of having a queen if you do not rape her every second of the day?' Joseph laughed heartily at the ridiculous thought.

'Please father, please, no more rape.'

'Elisabeth, you must understand me. Even though I am the King, I am still only myself - and I was born to rape.'

'From the fish that swims beneath the sea
To the monkey swinging from tree to tree
All the animals of all the lands
Know their part in nature's plan
And play with grace and ease.

So despite your silly protestation
And the judge's fool denunciation
I know my part, I know my art
For raping you is in my heart
It's plain to hear on auscultation.

I've always felt it, the pull of fate,
Pulling me forward, by the nape,
I've always known it, it is my state
That I was only born to rape!

I'll rape you from your head to toe,
I'll rape you fast, I'll rape you slow
I'll rape you now, I love you so!

Born to rape, born to rape!
Boooorrrn to raaaaaaape!
Boooooorrrn toooo raaaaaape!'

Joseph finished the song with a flourish, then grabbed Elisabeth and bounded off to find a basement in which to rape her.

alalalalalalalala shrimp on a barbie mate alalalalalalalalalalalalaaa

This is an interlude before I keep on copypasting. I hope you all are enjoying the story!

this is the weirdest fanfic, ever.

that dude even made a song, what the fuck. what the fuck.

~ ~ ~

As the months passed, Joseph began work on his master project, invigorated by the clockwork raping of his Queen. Joseph was building a fortress, a mobile steel citadel to use as his throne, in which to roam the lands, and to keep his Queen safe. He constructed a giant spider-fortress, many legged, many stories tall, and then placed himself and his Queen in it. Then he began to integrate himself into the fortress, passing over his limbs and mind, muscle by muscle, neuron by neuron, to metal and electrical parts of the spider-fortress. His mind became more and more indistinguishable from the computer system that drove the fortress, until one day there was no 'original' brain left, nothing of the weak, organic Joseph - only the immortal tracery of hard circuitry. His body disappeared into the spider, and there was no biological body left, no wet intestines, no sagging flesh and scrappy muscles. A hundred giant metallic penises burst from the spider's body like stiff scorpion tails. Lenses on snaking metal stalks searched the world for beautiful girls to rape, for the fortress was powered entirely off of rape, that singular energy source.

Hahaha this reads like some twisted childrens book.

As the spider would stride into a town, crushing houses and cars beneath its steel claws, the people would run out into the streets, cheering and hoo-rahing at the sight of their glorious, all-powerful King. They would drag by the hand their daughters, pushing them forward for the King to survey their succulent delights. Metal arms would snake out from the spider-fortress, grabbing the girls by the arms and ripping their flimsy clothes off to expose their naked, hard bodies. The spider arms would hoist them up into the air, plunge them down onto one of the bristling penises, their tight vaginas wrenched apart by the giant, cold steel phalluses. The arms would hold them in place as the penises hammered into them like bounding, frenzied pistons, gradually increasing in tempo to a delirious torrent until, after an hour or so, gallons of engine lubricant would spew forth from the penises, gushing out between the legs of the wailing girls. Then the penises would start again, faster still, over and over again until the bodies just gave up, and popped beneath the battering, like raspberries squeezed by thumbs. The pips would be thrown away, and a replacement quickly plucked.

>>2894586
I think it's beautiful.
Just beautiful

The whole world was Joseph's to roam over. He could clamber over mountains, skip through the oceans, bound over the plains and forests of the boundless world. Every culture, every city, was his to harvest. He strode through the deserts with dozens and dozens of dark-skinned beauties still clutching scraps of their burkhas, hefted upon his cloak of penises, pounded over and over again in a beautiful, never-ending symphony of rape. He crushed polar bears beneath his claws in the icy Arctic, with a clutch of squealing Inuits bouncing blubberously on his mechanical phalluses.

But for all the girls of the world that the fortress raped, it was the jewel at the centre of the fortress that was the beautiful of all, which Joseph would have traded all the world's virgins for - his beloved Queen. She lay in a special basement in the fortress, held suspended in the air by four metal arms. One penis was stuck into her vagina, another into her anus. The penises pumped vigourously, non-stop, every hour of day and night, slamming into her cervix and sigmoid colon, endlessly hammering away. Most of the time she was unconscious, but every now and then she would wake up, moan dully and drift back and forth for hours at a time.

The people of the land loved their King. His power made their penises hard as they raped, kept the vaginas of their struggling victims wet and hot. Life was good. But one person was not happy - Elisabeth. No matter how hard the penises thrust into her, she never felt love for the King. As the years passed, her body became more and more worn out by the constant pounding, and somewhere within the depths of his circuitry, Joseph knew he was going to lose her.

But what then? What would he do? How would he replace her - could he replace her? He had become so lost within this mechanical frame, that he was no longer truly human. Somewhere within the depths of cold steel and electrical wiring was the vestige of a pretty cool guy, but how would he ever find it? How could he ever find another like Elisabeth, someone to replace her, when she was the only thing he could love in the entire world? His mechanical brain and body closed off the entire world, left him only this fossilised, dying love. How could he feel human again, find love again, when his mind was only the cool flickering of scattered diodes? How could he truly feel the excitement of rape anymore? If Joseph could have cried, he would have, because he realised that in perfecting his rape power, he had lost that very basic joy that had lit up rape in the first place. He had alienated the very fates he intended to woo.

In the middle of a dark city, the spider-fortress sunk down onto its knees. Elisabeth awoke, and looked up in alarm at the lenses that stared intently into her eyes. Was something happening?

'My Queen. You are so beautiful, and I love you so. Tell me you love me!' commanded the robot voice, coming from all directions at once.

Elisabeth struggled, her brain heavy with pain and tiredness. She knew that she had to lie, that she had to play along, but she just couldn't bring herself to speak the horrible words. Something true and honest inside her, unbattered by the relentless penises, rebelled against the lie as her mouth struggled to form it. 'I... I... don't love you. I never have.'

A deep moan, an underwater, tectonic cry of anguish, welled up from the steel.

Elisabeth began to panic. She didn't want to enrage the machine, so she tried to distract him with petty pleas. 'Father... father, I am tired. I need rest, father. You have been raping me for so many years.' Her voice was soft, drawn out and weak after an age spent alone in the soundless room.

'My Queen, my darling Queen. I cannot let you rest. It is your duty to the kingdom to be raped for eternity, here in my Ultimate Basement. I will rape you until you love me - and you will live on! I refuse to let you die! I refuse to let you hate me! I refuse!' the machine cried desperately, like a metal echo of Canute.

Suddenly, the door to the Ultimate Basement burst open. It was two treasure-hunters, who had taken advantage of the sunken, bestilled fortress to scale its exterior and pierce into the centre - opportunists seeking the gold and riches rumoured to lie at the centre of the spider fortress. At their explosive entry, snake arms darted towards them, so the men pulled out machetes and laser pistols and began to hack away at the tentacles. One of them was grabbed by an arm sneaking up behind him, and was swiftly pierced by a giant penis that slid out the floor. 'Hank!' he shouted as the machine raped him, 'get this thing out of me!'

The other treasure-hunter darted towards the large control panel dominating one side of the Ultimate Basement, and slashed at it with his machete, pulling out wires and smashing it to bits. Joseph's computer brain began to die away, the lights flickering on and off, a howl of rage shooting out of the speakers, then fading away to a trickle as the brain died. Then, for the first time in an decade. all of the penises of the fortress stopped moving. The spider-fortress fell quiet.

Hank pulled his friend gently off the metallic cock, then they turned their attention to Elisabeth, who they had not been expecting to see - it had been so many year since the King emerged in his fortress that his origins had passed into mythology. They cut the arms holding her, and gently hoisted her up and off her throne. But as she was pulled off, she let out a scream and turned white. Because penises had pounded into her body for so long, her viscera had been turned into a weak jelly which depended upon the penises for support. Without them, they were too weak to hold together, and she began to die, in great pain.

As she died, she whispered to the men, who were kneeled over her pale, broken body, whispered in a wavering, fading voice to their smooth faces. 'Please... just... stay with me while I pass. I have been so... lonely, with only my penises to keep me company, all these years. Please... just stay with me. Just... listen to me.'

The treasure-hunters glanced at each other, curious and saddened by this desperate scrap of a human they had found. They were expecting riches, not a poor dying girl. The more unfortunate treasure-hunter took his hand from his tender bottom, and stroked Elisabeth's thin hair. 'We'll stay. Keep talking, you're going to be fine. Just fine.'

Elisabeth stared up at them, something like love and beauty in her eyes. 'Now... this... this...' Her eyes began to close.

'Shoosh now, it's okay. There there,' cooed the treasure-hunter.

Elisabeth opened her eyes again, her eyelids fluttering weakly. 'I want to tell you... you have to know about....'

'What is it?' said the treasure-hunter, eagerly imagining a hidden stash of gold.

Elisabeth coughed, blood dribbling down her chin. 'About how... my life got flipped, turned upside down.' Her eyes closed, and her breathing stopped. She had died.

'Oh for fuck's sake!' yelled the treasure-hunter. Then he whipped off his pants and raped Elisabeth's dead body.

THE END.

Elisabeth, fighting the pain, whispered into the man's ear gently. Moaning in pain, she pulled together enough strength to form the words. "And.... this is the story all about how my life was flipped turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there and i'll tell you how I became the Prince of a town called Bel-Air".

"In west philadelfia born and raised
On the playground where I spent most of my days
Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
And all shooting some b-ball outside of the school
When a couple of guys said were up in no good
Started making trouble in my neighbourhood
I got in one little fight and my mom got scared
And said youre moving with your aunte and uncle in bel-air

(only the first three episodes of season one)

I begged and pleaded with her the other day
But she packed my suitcase and sent me on my way
She gave me a kissin and she gave me my ticket
I put my walkman on and said I might aswell kick it

First class, yo this is bad,
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass
Is this what the people of bel-air livin like,
Hmm this might be alright!

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the
Licensplate said fresh and had a dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought now forget it, yo home to bel-air

I pulled up to a house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the cabby yo, home smell you later
Looked at my kingdom I was finally there
To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air"

>>2894701
I don't know what to say, other than good show!

God bless you Fritzl.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

my mouth is stuck in opened position, i am staring at your name, Frank, and i hate you.

I hate you with all my heart, i hate you so much.

>>2894701
>>2894739

OH SNAP WHICH IS THE REAL FRANK

>>2894739
Not the real ending but CLOSE ENOUGH LOLOLOLOLOLO

I will rape you, Frank. You will plead me to stop.

>>2894769
>>2894769
>>2894769

Iknorite, I didn't think you'd go for the bel-air so I did it wanting to troll... but you went for the bel-air! Goddamnit I knew this was going to end in a bel-air, I predicted it as soon as you started this thread (i'm poster no. 2)

fuck now i gotta go wanksturbate

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLL


FUCKING AMAZING

Hey man cool story man I thought man that your man was a man good man if i was man I would man.

Oh wow I was going to sage but then it went over 9000 hahah.

THIS IS WHY I LOVE /r9k/

THIS IS WHY I USED TO LOVE /b/

THIS IS THE REASON I LOVE THE INTERNET

SO MUCH TIME AND ENERGY SPENT ON CREATING THIS STORY

ALL TO TROLL US WITH A BELL AIR

I LOVE YOU MAN

I LOVE YOU MOOT FOR MAKING THIS CHANNEL FOR ME TO READ THIS

IM SO TOUCHED

IM IN TEARS

APOSTROPHES ETC

CRUISE CONTROL ETC

also lol so many Franks

Frank my dick got hard, and I was belaired.


Grand fucking show.

AND BEENS :3

HI OP HERE I LOVE TO SUCK CAWKS.

Archive it bitches archive it the story MUST BE TOLD

frank, rapidshit this entire story for me

>>2894966
Australia delivers!

http://rapidshare.com/files/188988977/Joseph.rtf.html

He's AUSTRAIN, not australian, you fucking idiot

>>2895034
HARHARHAR good troll man 6/10

>>2895034

hahahahaha oh wow

you are misinformed, he is obviously Australian

>>2895034
>>2895034
>>2895034
GTFO you ignorant shitface

>>2895093
>>2895127
YHBT, you fools!

>>2895161

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!
HOW COULD IT BEEE!!

Trolls trolling trolls trolling.... fffuuu I just remembered that we are in the biggest troll thread!!1!!1!!11!!