Mine won't let me get undressed to get into PJ's or dressed after a shower until she hides behind her desk or leaves the room. :\

>>2776831
Closet dyke is in the closet.

I was told this story by someone, they had a room mate that was a fat bastard. He used to be too lazy to go to the toilet, so he'd just piss in a bucket. Completely slob. When they kicked him out, he left a bucket full of piss, and a stash of tranny porn under his bed.

I lived with a guy a few years ago. He was annoying in lots of ways, we don't even speak anymore. But there was one thing that was just 'wah?!'

He never bought toilet paper. Ever. I had to go out of town for a few weeks and when I got back, there was still no toilet paper, and as far as I could tell he never bought any. The mind boggles.

I was too creeped out to ever bring it up with him, but I still can't figure out what was up with that.

You must have missed the one about a week ago about how my roomies throw their toilet paper in the trash instead of the toilet.

>>2776900
Were they mexican at some point?

I once spent hours moving heavy furniture by myself since I moved in a week earlier. Instead of asking me to rearrange things, he just got a neighbor to come do it.

WTF, seriously, no compromise, just bullshit. My way even looked cool!

>>2776900
Heard a story about a guy my friend knew whose roommate did that.

He told him to stop it, the roommate didn't, so he shit in the trashcan.

The guy stopped after that.

>>2776908
They still are, I believe.

My roommate plays WoW. All day, everyday. That is all.

>>2776817
he works out late at night, eats raw flour and tea dregs

My roommates used to throw watery stuff (bits of uneaten soup, half-empty bottles of soda) into the trashcan. Makes taking out the trash a liquidy affair. Such idiots.

>>2776817
I have no roommate stories, other than I only feel sorry for any future roommates I may or may not have.
Actually, I take that back. A few friends moved in together last year, and during the move, one of them misplaced his pistol. It was loaded. The safety was not on. Boy, was that a tense week.

I had a roommate who was very OCD, but not like I am, so it didn't work out.

He would take his used toilet paper and put it in the trash can, so I'd walk in in the morning and see it full of shit paper.

Once he didn't like how I did the dishes, so he put a huge-ass bike lock on the cabinets holding them, meaning I had a hard time making supper until I yelled at him. Yay for passive aggressive.

He also had a tendency of answering questions as yes/no when they completely weren't, and then he'd just smile at you and repeat himself when you said "no, seriously, what about it".

This was finals week two years ago.
I had my small desk light on and my TV on (I was wearing headphones so there was no noise at all) studying for my last final exam. Apparently this was so disturbing to my roommate at 11 PM that he tosses and turns for a while, then grabs duct tape from his closet and WRAPS IT AROUND HIS HEAD TO COVER HIS EYES.
I just stared at him trying to hold in a wtflol. I would have gone to bed earlier, but I thought I'd have a little fun with him, so I stayed up until about 2 AM when he suddenly gets up, grabs all his blankets and alarm clock and blindly stumbles out into the hallway. "I've won," I thought to myself. "I just fucking won."

At 3 AM when I'm done studying I go to the bathroom and I see he's sprawled out in the hallway with his shitty toy story comforter and duct tape headwrap.
Also he was an extreme fundamentalist and an UNBELIEVABLY shitty human in general. Felt extremely good man-- great way to wrap up that part of my life.

My friend, you are in for a treat

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=1353420&userid=0&perpage=30&hig
hlight=martin%20random&pagenumber=1

>>2776922
Mexicans throw the toilet paper in the trash.

Something to do with septic systems in Mexico not being able to handle paper or something.

>>2777009
Please tell me you took a picture, and shall post it here.

>>2777046
That was an excuse someone else told me for my bad roommate. His family lived way the fuck out in the forest area before a suburb popped up near them, so they have to deal with a local septic system and throwing it away helps them.

Which is fine and dandy, but WE'RE NOT THERE.

>>2777009
Please tell me you took pics.
asfsdff

>>2776817

I was watching a movie on my laptop one night, around 11-ish and my roomate is "sleeping" with the comforter all wrapped around her like a fucking cocoon. Around 1:30, the bitch gets out of bed and comes over to me, asking me to turn down the light because it's too bright and she can't sleep. I was just like WTF?!

>>2777016
>>2777016

thats fucking bullshit, no fucking way.

the first real thing on that story is easily enough to evict/arrest the guy.

One of my guy room-mates back in my freshmen year of College was totally homo. He would always play bright eyes and be obnoxious. One day I went into his room to change his desktop to something weird... and saw pictures of me asleep in a folder. Hundreds of them.

My roommate rages whenever he plays video games. He yells at the TV and now that he has a headset he feels the need to yell at his team. Otherwise he's the most quiet and shy person I know. Can't stand the dude personally for a list of other reasons.

Roommate will wash hands/knife/cutting board after cutting each veggie, even if the next veggie he cuts is the same as the first. Oh and wont buy bread that isn't cut at the "sandwich" thickness...

a roomate of mine freaked out at me since another roomate (or this roomie did and forgot) was rolling the saran wrap back onto the cardboard tube. so i started rolling it back every time i was in the kitchen even if i didnt need to use it because i could not think of a decent comeback at the time and i am passive aggressive.

>>2776900
Is your name Jordan by any chance? And would you be talking about Matt by any chance?

>>2777167
Sounds like OCD to me.
mootbrox

my roommate's black.

I've had some roommates that were bad, and some that were just plain assholes.

My first roommate in college used to fight with me over the thermostat--while I was in the room, we'd set it on low, but while I was gone it would mysteriously drift up to sub-tropical levels. I guess she didn't realize that that just made it worse, because while she was gone I'd open the window to get the heat out of the room.

Second roommate was spoiled rotten. I would get out of classes very late (10:30pm-ish), and go visit friends. When I got back to the room at 11:30-ish, she'd already be in bed; whatev., that's fine. Our beds were bunked with me on bottom, so I'd just do my homework under there so the bed would block most of the light from my lamp. She bitched so much about the light from my lamp (told me to cover it with a scarf while I was using it, actually) that she eventually managed to convince her parents to put another mortgage on their farm so she could get a single room. A friend of mine cussed her out for the other assorted things she did, and she went bawling down the hall about how *I* was the meanest person she'd ever met.

The next roommate was almost sane, except for the pumpkin she forgot about under the head of my bed (bunked again) for three months, and the broken toe she refused to set or even see a doctor about "because they [couldn't] do anything about it, anyway".

Last roommate--real-world roommate this time--used to call me at work and demand I leave early to pick up her kids from school. She also left food to rot in the fridge and constantly made comments about how I knew nothing about my career field. I wanted to hit the bitch with a car, but settled for moving my shit out without telling her and dropping the key in the mail slot while she was sleeping.

God I wish I could remember that one website with the shittiest roomate ever story. Damn, anyone know what I'm talking about?

The roommate is batshit insane and likes to shit in bottles and leave them laying around the house. He has pet tarantulas and breaks into his roommates stuff and steals it. Put a dead cat in the oven, weird stuff, I can't remember.I do know he has a mental break down at the end of the story and is playing a saxophone in a bathtub full of his own shit.

I'll look around for it.

Haha, anyone remember the threads about those guys who had the crazy ass roommate who was faking cancer and shit? I think they're archived somewhere. That shit was hilarious.

My Freshman year roommate was incredibly dull. It was almost as if he didn't have a personality. He was just there to get his degree and to get out, I guess.

Anyway, he would watch the worst movies over and over. I'm no film expert, but these are movies everyone thinks are terrible, like The Replacements.

We could go weeks without talking. The longest we went without speaking a word to each other was three weeks.

I also think I accidentally caused him to lose his faith. He was a Fundamentalist. I memorized counter-arguments to common theological arguments for the existence of God against myself in the mirror in our bathroom for Philosophy 100. I guess he overheard me and one day the very next week his Bible was gone and his Christian-themed posters had been taken down. I felt bad.

>>2777233

Here you go.

http://www.wyseguys.com/shittyroomate.asp

I had the most awesome roomate ever!

He used to bring 2 or 3 girls back at our place (guy was a fucking player) and we'd have an orgy! Fuck yeah!

But then I had to suck his cock in the orgy. That wasn't too fun :(

>>2777233
That's SA. Martin Random wrote it before the place went to complete shit and they banned him.

RIP good SA content :(

>>2777099
probably, the guy who wrote is was known for making up crazy yet incredibly entertaining stories but never saying for certain whether or not they were real, he also did this phenominal "Stories from Inside the White House" thread which I am too lazy to look up right now.

Also he is some huge weeaboo lawyer, who was somewhat involved with all the 4chan stuff when it was just starting in some way or another

My friend is a diabetic (Type I) and keeps several containers of high-sugar drinks in her refrigerator in case her blood sugar is low. She typically keeps orange juice in there.

Her roommate would drink all of the juice even though she was asked not to. Even after carefully explaining to her that she could go in to a COMA if the juice wasn't there when she needed it, the girl kept drinking it.

Ugh.

>>2777167

My favorite Good Eats episode :)

Your roommate has a good sense of dining.

>>2777233
Reminds me of Shay, the roommate who shat on everything--and I do mean EVERYTHING--and took laxatives to make this epic shitting possible.

http://shiroioji.livejournal.com/114944.html

I am a terrible room mate.

I can hear any noise, no matter how slight, from any part of the house. But I am totally deaf in conversations.

As a result, I get bothered if I hear someone playing a movie IN ANOTHER ROOM.

I seriously cannot sleep. Sorry if you think you should be able to make noise at that time, but it does not work for me.

KEEP EM COMING GUYS

I SLASHED MY ROOMMATES TIRES IN THE RAIN

>>2777284
are you me?

blocco de moot

>>2777278
>http://shiroioji.livejournal.com/114944.html
D:

Also the FF7 house if you haven't read it

http://www.demon-sushi.com/warning/index2.html

there was another whole chain of internet drama featuring one of these crazy bitches a few months back that was even more ridiculous than this one, where she basically moved into a house and had a complete mental breakdown and then refused to move out and started taking everyone to court and shit, I think it has since been deleted but it is archived in various places, they are both pretty good reads

One night last year, my roommate came home with his face covered in blood. I asked him what was wrong, he didn't answer. The RA asked, and again he didn't answer. He never remembered what happened.

He would also spend all his time in the room, go to bed by 9pm and when I would stay up to do my homework (usually because I was working or something) he would complain about how bright my light was. Eventually we used our big ass armoire closet thing to split the room in half, so I could stay up without keeping him up.

One day he said his parents were coming to visit. They came the next day; I didn't see him all day or night. He came back to the room the next morning as I was getting ready to leave for class, and he wasn't coming back. I had the room to myself for the last month or so.

>>2777284
i'm a terrible roommate too, bro. though i have a terrible roommate, so i feel slightly justified.

i am at home just about 24/7. i only leave to go to class, work, or forage for food. it is a rare occasion that i leave. i got out maybe once a month with people to see a movie, other than that, no social contact. i got to sleep about 4 hours after my roommate, and he's something of a light sleeper. i do a lot of game playing, on our (his) only tv. our (my) fridge is full of my stuff. i haven't said he can't have any of my food, but i haven't said he could. so basically nothing of his is ever in there, except a bottle of water. our (my) 360 has one working and one broken controller, which i haven't bothered to replace, so i've effectively told him i don't want to play with him (we used to play lots of co-op).

he mostly stays over at friend's places, but i think it has less to do with me and more to do with his outgoing nature. the ONE terrible thing i can think of that he did was kinda bad though.
i got an infection, and went to the doctor to get some antibiotics. i got a giant bottle with about 50 pills in it, i was supposed to do like a 6 week course of that shit. i got about 4 days in, and then the bottle goes MISSING. the fucker stole them, and when i confronted him about it, he pretended to not know. first off, who fucking steals ANTIBIOTICS? and second, i couldn't get another scrip from the doctor (who would fake losing a bottle to get more antibiotics?wtf?). other than that he's a pretty cool guy.
eh steals pills and doesn't afraid of anything.

I had a roommate who used to start partying in his room at 2:30 in the morning on weekdays. So he was pretty normal I guess..

>>2776817
I had a gay roommate that used to come on to me. He used to masturbate to gay porn WHILE I WAS IN THE ROOM.

Sometimes I'd pretend to fall asleep and he'd just stand next to my bed just staring at me.

I had a roommate ask me to pick him up at the airport once, only to not show up on the flight he told me...or any at all that day, actually. He didn't answer his phone or e-mails (the only ways I knew of to talk to him) for a week, and just showed up on campus at dinner one day. I called his parents--they'd told me to when I'd originally called them the week before--and they said they found him hanging out in the city (he had to drive three hours from his house to the nearest airport). He'd decided he was going to have a short vacation, which he spent sleeping on public benches and eating fast food.

Yeah, it wasn't much of a surprise that he went home a month later due to mental illness. Strangely, he'd seemed pretty cool before this all happened, maybe a little geeky but generally OK. He's actually how I found out about 4chan, all those years ago--he was obsessed with some meme about a horse fucking a guy to death.

>>2777462

That's pretty sexy. Was he hot?

>>2777467

Mr. Hands! D:

>>2777475
Guy was a geek who used to play WOW 24/7.

But I'm hot.

>>2777462
>>2777106

Congratulations, you lived with Anonymous, the creepiest fucks in the world!

I would never share a room with someone I'm not fucking

>>2777514

yea but u play halo wit ur frat brothers I LUV U UR SUCH A NERD LOL ^_______^;; <3<3

>>2777623

homophobe?

muuuute

>>2777462
As a gay, I find that really creepy.

I am truly sorry for your lots.

I wish I had a roommate, just so I would have something of a friend. :l

>>2777668
I could give you my msn address, if you'd like to talk.

My rabid nazi Muslim friend shared a room with this Jewish guy. He had a great time, since the Jewish guy was so Jewy. He tried to sell my friend his family's table (an heirloom for ~100 years) for $50 so he'd have enough cash to go out.

Normally I don't go in for furfag shit, but I'm remembering a story about truly horrendous roommates called something like "Don't Yiff The Otter" or something like that. It was a fantastically disturbing read about a furfag that was so incredibly creepy that he even creeped out other furfags.

My roommates habitually smoke marijuana cigarettes. And cigars. And waterpipes. And glass pipes. One is a bookie, one is an engineer, and the third is a DJ/drug dealer.

>>2777223
PROTIP: You gotta give 30 days notice or they can sue the SHIT out of you.

>>2777749
I was illegally subletting, which was great when we were getting along--$200/month rent+paid utilities in Chicago? Fuck year--but when we weren't, it wasn't worth it. She couldn't say shit about it, legally, and I suspect that we were both more than pleased with what happened. She certainly hasn't tried to contact me, despite phone/e-mail being the same as it was then. She didn't even sign me up for a shitload of porn spam, so I guess she was as happy as I was about me leaving.

>>2777786
See
>>2777245

Next time try reading the thread?

>>2777016
>>2777016
>>2777016

JESUS CHRIST

everybody read this NOW

My rommate jacked off with me in the room.
I was in the room before him.
Panting and all. Also, did not change pants for an extended period of time after.

my roommate was black,gay, would literally blast a kanye west playlist with 30 songs on it.
Now i have nothing against kanye west. hes decent and i dare to say i like a few of his songs but this fuckhead had the playlist on repeat so you'd hear the same fucking song every 40 minutes.
also when i would go out into the hall to talk to friends for a few minutes (thats where we all hung out usually, excluding roomy) he would close the door. worse was when i would just go out to the bathroom and he got in the habit of doing it so i would get locked out.

worst part was he didnt bring his own trash bin and would use mine and wouldnt do his part and take it out every other time or week.

urgh dont know why i didnt just transfer but oh well this was all last year.

My second college roommate featured the maturity level of a raging middle schooller. Slept with a stuffed animal, had Flintstones chewables in the closet, and fought with his girlfriend at every available opportunity. Crying was damn near a weekly feature. They'd argue over the phone, he'd start getting weepy, then he'd hang up on her, but she'd call right back and he'd answer and say he didn't want to talk to her (but it'd still be ten minutes before he'd hang up again and repeat the process). I believe one argument centered around her thinking somebody writing a book about the philosophy of The Matrix was stupid.

And yet I was still so hard up for company that I ate dinner with him pretty much every night.

First roommate: A little slow. Came from a backwoods town. This was during the 2004 election, he was supporting Bush, I supported Kerry (lol). We didn't really talk about politics, but he claimed the reason he supported Bush was because he didn't want his family living in Bumfuck Wisconsin to be attacked by terrorists. I facepalmed at that. He was also pro-choice, something about women in ghettos getting raped or some shit. At the end of the semester he moved out.
Second roommate: weeaboo faggit. Became a WoW addict, dropped out of college, lost his job, girlfriend, moved in with his parents, etc.
Third roommate: Dude Bro. Fucking alcoholic asshole who would bring chicks back to the dorm the night before I had exams. Also would play movies and fall asleep (since I was a light sleeper, this pissed me off). His parents pulled him out of college by the end of the semester. I didn't have a roommate for the rest of the year, shit's so cash.
Fourth roommate: wasn't bad, still friends with him. The only quirk is that he compulsively rents movies from Blockbuster Online and rips them. I don't really care that he does that, but when I asked him why he doesn't go to the library to get their movies for free, he claims it's too far across town (it's like a five minute drive from campus). I told him about torrenting and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. For whatever reason he decided to move out of my dorm to another room on the floor.
Fifth and last roommate: again, wasn't bad. Didn't spend a lot of time in the dorm, which was fine by me.

I knew a guy who was fappin' into his roommates pillow cause he hated him. Someone walked in before be blew his load and he got kicked out of school.

My roommate first year was a Jew.

An online friend of mine had a gay roommate once, and he walked in on him having buttsecks with another guy.

First year of university, on my second roommate.

My first one was abusing sleeping pills, still going to school but he's at home now. He was great though. A bit odd in his beliefs, firmly believed in the supernatural and such. We got along but weren't close. He's depressed and never opened up to me. Likewise, emotionally I'm distant and thus do not exactly attract people to come to me with their personal issues. However it would have been cool if he hadn't been abusing sleeping pills to dull his pain or whatever as I do think he was cool.

My current one is coolio. Very conservative, which is a shame, but we can talk video games and play video games and talk about music. Play Persona 4 as he plays Fallout 3 is pretty cool because we both watch each other and make comments. Mine consist of me mocking his lack of lockpicking abilities and telling him to use VATS and he just mocks Persona 4 for being too anime (while laughing at the classroom parts because most of them are pretty hilarious).

I'm thinking next year I'll live by myself just because having a room to myself would be nice.

>>2776817
My roommate last year (a giant catholic christfag), thought he could see and hear spirits. When he heard that a girl in the girls' dorms was a pagan, he immediately called all his friends that were girls, and asked them if they had felt any strange spirits or energies. When they said they hadn't, he insisted that they must not be paying close enough attention cuz there were obviously bad spirits about. &

At another time, it was the night of a dance, and when he arrived back from it he called all his friends and told them that they gotta start praying because he saw tons of bad spirits at the dance because there was a lack of morals. Presumably because it's immoral to dance with and kiss a girl that's not your wife.

Also, he thinks that just *voting* for any candidate that supports any type of abortion is the equivalent of murder. And finally, I'm sure he hated his finally to some fair degree because they didn't raise him catholic, something which I presume he decided on in college.

Yet irronically, despite all this we got along rather well. He was hardly as noble as he noble as he thought himself. During his job in the summer, he knocked a car's rearview mirror off and tried to pretend it didn't happen. That was my friend's mother's car, but I didn't tell him that. Also, he looked at porn about every day. In front of me, 'cuz I didn't give a shit as long as he didn't try to rub one out (which he never did). He was usually a chatty fellow so I could tell when he was looking at porn when he would be completely silent for 5 minutes. I'd then look at his computer, confirm my suspicions, and then chuckle.

Overall, I would room with him again if he was still here this year. Even though he was dumb as fuck and I was/am an agnosticfag we bonded through videogames and were civil to eachother; age of empires 2 ftw!

>>2777826
Here- he thought it was MY fault his ipod was stolen. No that this giant pussy ever confronted me about it, mind you.
Because, you know, The paranoid guy who sleeps with a knife (none of my stuff was touched, becuase knives are awesome) is going to sleep with the door unlocked.
100 pounds on me, carry some tacticool bullshit tantoblade knife, and afraid to confront my skinny ass.
I kind of miss it, actually. lulz were had on my part, alongside the rage.

My first roommates were both retarded. The first one was an Asian girl, and at first she was a little snotty but I just avoided her. But at one point she tried to get me evicted by claiming I had a dead cat in the freezer. Yeah, I don't know what that was about.
My other roommate moved in like 2 weeks after school started...bitch was so weird! She didn't speak to anybody in the house the entire time she lived there (half a year). Then, one day, out of nowhere, she just disappears. So weird.
My current roomie's pretty chill though. She doesn't mind my occasional pot smoking, my retarded dog, or the fact that I only do dishes twice a week. Plus rent's hella cheap.

Roommate of a buddy of mine: claimed that his sister was a model and brother worked for the CIA (he was Canadian, had no pictures of alleged model sister.) Got constipated once, so went to a pre-med student to ask what to do. Guy told him to get a suppository. Got one, read the instructions, decided he couldn't insert it himself so first asked my buddy and then went door-to-door in the dorm until he finally found somebody that agreed to put it in him.

>>2777907

the constant is you.

My roomie was one of my best friends, but she had the habit of talking in her sleep.

I'd always be awake longer than her just browsing the internet or doing work or whatever, so I'd almost always hear what she said.

One of the most memorable ones was when she sat straight up in bed and said "Jesus Christ don't fuck with that, I'll kill you." And laid back down.

She would also sit up in bed and tell me that there were people standing behind me, which creeped me the fuck out. Occasionally, she would get out of bed and open the door and look out into the hall and then go back to sleep. Once she took cold medicine in her sleep, and to this day, we don't know how many she took.

>>2777223
i really get the impression that you're a bigger problem causer than you let yourself on to be . . .

read this:
http://www.mycrazyroommate.com/

start to finish.

Asian girls make the worst roomates.

Seriously. Not the shy, secluded girls, they're nice. The bitchy, talkative, stupid Asian girls. You know who I mean. If I had a dollar for every time she woke me up in the middle of the night on her goddamn cellphone talking to one of her stupid friends...

Does anyone here think having a roommate makes it more 'fun'? Like you get to spend more time with someone else and enjoy their company.

so far, i have shared a bedroom for at least 6+ months with 4 individuals.

i had a really weird roommate in the dorms.

one time i was at my computer and i heard him giggling.
i looked behind me and he was standing over the trashcan totally naked shaving his pubes with clippers.
i just went back to my computer. by this point, nothing he could do would surprise me.

>>2778328
I do not enjoy the casual company of other because I am not an insecure needy faggot

>>2778293
Entirely possible. Every story has two sides, of course. That doesn't change their actions, though.

>>2778385
so what is the extent of your social needs?

That's my biggest turn off about going to college. I hate having to share a room. It started when I was younger. My step father's son was staying with us and I had to share a room with him. This motherfucker was disgusting. He would masturbate and leave his tissues in plain sight. He use to fuck his bed at night. So I couldn't sleep because all I hear is a bed squeaking. Then he would try and overrun my possessions. He would play my playstation without my permission,overwrite my games and say "I can do that".

I wanted to kill him so bad.

>>2778328
Yeah, I sure do. I'm not, to be honest, always the biggest fan of my room mates, but I'd be lonely as hell with out them. I think I'm just a bitch at heart, which is too bad.

When I first started college I thought I got a pretty decent roommate. Kind of a oaf but you know decent enough to be in college. We chilled, played video games, watched tv, talked and stuff. After awhile he just stopped living in our room so I basically got it to myself. He would only come back to shower and change. It was weird but I didnt give a fuck. We had pretty much stopped talking anyways. I think I took one of his blankets.

My second year in college I went through like 3 roommates who ended up quitting school or some shit before the semester even started so I had a whole room to myself again for about 2 months. Then I met my new roommate. Pretty cool guy really. We had some good times. Still a good friend actually.

For my third year I rented a house with three other guys that I knew. I had a small as fuck room but the rent was super cheap so I didnt mind that. Truth be told there was not a lot of drama involving me but a lot of shit between them. Oh they removed my bedroom door which pissed me off. And one of my roommates was a real fucking dick sometimes when he got mad because he did that passive aggressive thing.

wow, i was just gonna start a thread about my crazy roommate, what a fuckin coincidence.

this guy is almost 30. works part time at rite aid, broke as shit, spends pretty much all of his free time in front of the TV, or eating stuff like boiled pasta covered in ketchup and mayo.

For some reason he feels he needs to let the TV know his opinions, so when watching shows like Judge Judy or Maury (pregnancy results) he wil scream at the top of his lungs things like "GET HER JUDGE JUDY, GET THAT FUCKING BITCH" or "YOU STUPID FUCKING WHORE, YOU SHOULD FUCKING DIE:.

Ive also heard what can only be discribed as an animalistic scream of pain come from him when he was in the shower.

oh yeah, forgot to mention he watches ninja turtles every night from his bed in his PJs. Go figure

>>2777245
HOLY FUCKING SHIT LASAGNA! I cried. I laughed so hard I cried. The illustrations are priceless. "Shit bathing nazi". Stuff is fucking classic. I am showing ALL of my close friends.
I will not complain about my room-mates anymore. Jesus fuck.

>>2777245

I came to the internet tonight, hoping there was more than 5 minutes of reading there. I have been satisfied.

I had to teach my current roommates how to use a washer, dryer, and dishwasher.

>>2778751
What? It's not exactly hard to self teach. Or JFGI.

>>2778328
I do. I pretty much got along with all my room mates. Except one room mate in my junior year because she wanted to sex me up and I wasn't down with that. To be fair though, I shared a room with the same person for three years. I was cool with her and her boyfriend, he slept over a lot and I graciously slept on the futon on weekends.

I dont have a room-mate per-se but I live in an open plan appartement so I can hear anything my flatmate does and vice-versa.

He's some 4th year thai chemist and im a batshit insane 3rd year engineer, he doesnt moan about my music (nonstop trance/metal/wtf) unless its exam time but then I use headphones and so does he. We've been living together for a year and a half now during which i've spent 6 months doing 2hrs of uni a week, working 9-5 and back in uni fulltime. I worry more that im the idiot roomie thats addicted to eve/irc...

I had an awesome roommate, he made up for his share of the rent through sheer entertainment value. He spoke in non-sequitors and soundbytes. He would BSoD randomly, he'd be talking or playing Nintendo and just freeze, shut down, and space out for up to five minutes before jerking back to awareness. He was terrified of weird things (birds, 'random explosions', ciggarette lighters) but completely fearless of normal stuff (he'd completely ignore traffic, yell at gang bangers to get the fuck off the stoop, etc).
He was like some kind of ADD Superhero who's kryptonite was pidgeons... and who's arch-nemesis could make stuff explode.

my first roommate was a girl I was friends with in high school. she was okay I guess, but left the house a total mess and had lived there before me, so I never cleaned it. I was never really home except to sleep anyway, and we got along other than that. she was really socially retarded, and when her parents divorced it really fucked her up I guess... people were always asking if she was a lesbian, and her first and only boyfriend got pissed at her for not putting out and told everyone at her college that her vagina smelled like dog food. sad!

my second roommate I was really tight friends with at a job, and decided to move in with her based on that. TERRIBLE IDEA. she's bipolar or something. she would get you gifts and spend a ton of time an effort making you things or doing things for you unasked, but would hate you if you didn't do them back for her. she made me cupcakes on my birthday, and then broke down later screaming and crying at me about how my life was perfect and nobody liked her. I avoided her from then on out and spent all of my time either in my room or at work. She talked to me every now and again when she'd start dating a new guy, but eventually they would dump her and she'd stop talking to me again. It was really weird, but I feel like she only hated me when she didn't have a boyfriend (I guess because I do). I used to hear her screaming and crying almost every day on the phone to her mom about whoever had been "mean" to her that day.. She was supposed to take adderall because she was so fucking crazy, and never did. I hate bitches who can't survive without having a boyfriend!

My roommate used to play Maple Story all day, and I would get so frustrated because he never, ever left. All I ever wanted was 5 minutes alone in the room... college is frustrating like that.

He's a really cool guy though. He's essentially my best friend at school, and I've told him a lot about myself that not even my best friends and family know. We eat dinner together everyday at school and he's taught me a bunch about myself.

I'm glad he's not crazy.

my first roommate in college was the nerdiest dude ever. this guy was a freshman at 22 because he didn't want to be too far away from his mom, who lived fifteen minutes away. i would often have to leave the room to avoid laughing in his face. the guy liked garfield. a lot. he had a collection of coca-cola memorabilia. he also decorated his half of the room for any reason, including halloween, thanksgiving, and the kicker, christmas. i returned to the room one day to find a shelf decorated with tiny houses and trains and cotton snow with a label that read "snowfall valley 2004" in ridiculous olde-timey font. thank god he was in class, because i burst forth with such a terrific laugh that people came running to see what had happened. their laughter brought more, to the point where people from multiple floors of my dorm were crowded around my room in tears. obviously, the guy didn't have any friends at school or at home (though he would have long, friendly phone conversations with his mom).

the most ridiculous thing about him, though, was that he was so fucking nice. he was the sweetest, most kind-hearted guy you could ever hope to meet. that was the problem. asshole though i may be, i could not bring myself to hurt his feelings. he was always in teh room and if someone came by to see me, he'd assume they wanted to see him as well. he accompanied me on a lot of dates simply because i couldn't turn him down when he assumed he was invited.

one time i brought home two girls. two HOT girls who were BOTH into me AND each other. i was on my game and said the smoothest things possible at all times. all was going according to plan until i got back to my room, where he proceeded to cheerfully talk to them for like an hour. the three of us were sitting on my bed, trying to get frisky, but he just kept talking and none of us had the heart to shut him up. they eventually bugged out as gracefully as they could, leaving me lamenting my missed opportunity. WHYYYY?!

I had to share a bunk bed with a girl during a overnight summer school and she stay up for hours in the early morning talking to her dumb ass dog on the phone. EVERY fucking night almost a month of her talking on the phone with her stupid dog. Lucky it was only summer school but it made me hate the idea of having a roommate.

my first roommate would do a bunch of coke and wander around our house naked.


My current roommate drinks a lot and has long conversations with my cat.

>>2779003
Here
>>2779144
Reminded me: He had this snow-white cat that he loved to death. It's name was IVORY THE WEAPON, and he only refered to it as such. Note the caps, as they are officially part of the name. He'd leave a note reminding me to feed it when he went to his folks house or something saying 'Hay Anon, plz feed IVORY THE WEAPON kthxbai'.
He'd talk to it for half and intemperate it's little twitches and nods as responses. IVORY THE WEAPON helped him decide what to have for dinner, what to watch on TV, etc. Fucking hilarious to watch.

>>2779110
You are describing me to a T.

For some reason my acquaintances felt obligated to have me hang out with them and their girlfriends. even though I was just like tagging along.

I don't understand. I do not want to be in that situation, but am too nice to refuse.

Fuck.

>>2779222
oh, we didn't invite him. whenever someone would come to get me or call me or anything, he'd cheerfully ask where i was going. when i told him i was gonna go eat, he'd say something like "oh! i'll come along!"

i couldn't tell him he wasn't welcome, so he'd end up going out with us. he was happy as a clam.

>>2779342

What a nice young man.

A friend of mine had a place with a guy. He was never around, ever. He never slept there or anything. I saw his room and he had a mattress propped against the wall and a bunch of boxes of shit all over the place. I later found out that he lived with his girlfriend (directly across the hall) and he paid rent on the other apartment in case they broke up and to use it as a closet.

>>2777907

Oh, I forgot to post the worst thing that happened, with roommate number three:

The shittiest moment occured after he left (to go on a vacation to Hawaii, the asshole). Final day of classes before Xmas break started. During Thanksgiving break, we were instructed to leave the fridge/freezer unit plugged in and unplug everything else, but my douche roommate unplugged the freezer, which allowed the cheese on a couple pizzas (how the hell was he going to make them? We only have have access to microwaves) to melt and subsequently congeal and freeze on the floor of the freezer when I plugged it back in. I didn't notice this until the day before Xmas break started. I told the douche to take care of it, but of course, he didn't.

I got out of class at about 2 pm, and then started to pack up. Then I noticed the thread. I knew if I left the cheese in there, 1) it would stink up my room, and 2) the CA's would charge me for cleaning it up. So I had to take a rock hammer and a screwdriver and chisel the fucking nasty cheese out of the freezer, though by the time I finished, the cheese had already melted.

By the time I got it out and left Oshkosh, it was already dark. I hate having to drive on the highway in the dark.

>>2778150

Yeah, I'll admit it, I was a pretty shitty roommate, but only that I was so anti-social. My side of the room was messy but it wasn't dirty, per se. And I never did any obnoxious shit either.

IVORY THE WEAPON

Oh God that's fucking priceless.

My current roommate annoys the fuck out of me. I'm a pretty easily annoyed person I guess though.

1. He doesn't know how to close a fucking cabinet.
2. He constantly comes in my room and takes cigarettes when I'm not here.
3. He is obsessed with himself to the point where he has girls draw pictures of him and hangs them up along with his other shitty art all over our living room.
4. He asks me to go out with him essentially only so that I'll drive so he can get drunk without fear of DUI.
5. His dumb fucking artfag friends will come over and barge into my room and be like "WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? IS THIS EVEN MUSIC?" and proceed to sit down and talk about dumb shit I don't care about.
6. He finishes every fucking sentence or story that I start telling and basically makes me feel weird for being around my own fucking house.
7. He thinks that every girl he exchanges words with wants to fuck him and acts like he's god's golden sperm.
8. Today I was going to throw a can in the recycle and he said, "You should put this in the recycle" and took it out of my hand and threw it in there.

More of a "this is why I hate my roommate" response, but it feels good to let that out.

I've glad I've only ever had to live at home all my life.

>>2780870

Oh, also after thinking about it, I have had five or six roommates at different points in the past and we have all gotten along fine and I had a good experience living with them, so I highly doubt this is just me.

I had a roommate who always left the door open when he crapped. I'd always yell at him at tell him to close the door. He would giggle and close the door. Also, he was a 350 pound Filipino. Nice guy otherwise.

>>2780870
Those are all annoying as fuck habits.

Mine was an old childhood friend, we used to be hump-buddies at around age 10-13
We fucked each other in between fucking the girls he often brought over because he was of the player sort.

It's not that we were gay or anything, it's just because we were so extremely comfortable around each other that we were able to fuck each other in the ass without feeling awkward.
He and I were basically clones, so I considered it masturbating more or less.

Yeah.

one of my roomates plays WoW all day. the weird thing is that he is good looking and has a pretty girlfriend.

>>2781169
omg that is so gay. your a faggot.

I live with a guy who gives me a dirty look every time I bring a guy home, even though he brings girls home all the time.

Gets on my tits.

>>2781169
ah the wonders of pretend

When I was a senior my roommate was a freshman. He used to wear these huge boots and drag his feet wherever he walked. He would always slam the doors behind him too. It was fucking annoying. Total wigger.

fuck each other and get it done with.

>>2781169
hahahahahha that is the gayest thing i've read today.

>>2779222
oh fuck, that happens to me.. Shitsux, i'm always the third wheel.

>>2781224
The thing is though, I'm only able to actually fall in love with girls.
And I can't picture myself fucking any other dude than my roommate whom I kinda consider to be my best friend.
And it's not really romantic or passionate sex, we use humor a lot.
Probably to distract from the gayness.

>>2781224
YOU MADE ME SPILL MY TEA FAGGOT

My current roommate is a huge religiofag.

He had me take down my poster of the Joker from the Dark Knight because he thought it was evil.

Also, had some really creepy moments. He spends a lot of time in our room so I constantly get walked in on.

The worst by far occurred when I started having sex on my bed, the closet door opened, and he walked out of the room. Yeah, he was literally hiding in this closet for like 30 minutes while my girl and I were getting it on.

>>2781255
do you high five after sex? because srsly, i so would.

>>2781169
cant...tell...if...serious...

>>2781013
I just fucking lol'd so hard, I got the funniest image of a huge Filipino giggling, holy fuck

my first roommate was a kleptomaniac, but he didn't steal from me (i guess because we were in the same room?). He stole someone's chair, someone's microwave, someone's guitar, and tried to shoot me in the head with an airsoft gun (he was high at the time). He wasn't too bad, but once in a while things could get exciting.

i had 3 roommates while living in a dorm, first guy was a douche. second two were complete messes. i almost died when i had to go take a shower. was able to get my own room somehow tho.

irl roommates, first one i had was a woman who worked night shifts. she was even more socially awkward than me and we hardly ever talked. i think i freaked her out a little too. she had to call to have someone take me to the hospital once when i overdosed

then i lived with my boyfriend and his boyfriend. it was fun sexy times until i broke up with him. also he wanted me to date his bf which i wasnt really into (polyamorous relationships are weird) we all were naked most of the time at home and did stuff like shit with the door open.

now i live alone, it's pretty cool

I just got a new roommate this week. I was watching the news, like cnn or some shit, and Tony Blair came up on the screen. I then said jokingly that he's an asshole and changed the channel. My new roommate then proceeded to lecture me how I shouldn't throw out his viewpoint because "He' from another part of the world." and how "He was a world leader and has influence and should be respected." Afterwords I proceeded to call Tony Blair a faggot.


He also has the habit of standing around and doing nothing. Like starring at me, creeps me the fuck out. I'll be playing my 360 and he will stand over my shoulder watching me play. I ask if wants to play but he doesn't say anything. That and I'll be on my computer and he'll be starring at me...

>>2781458
>starring

wat

>>2781479
>>2781479
"Staring"

My bad.

I once lived with this girl who 1) NEVER bought any celaning materials (even including washing up sponges etc) and NEVER offered to pay half when I bought them... which I would have to do after noticing that she was washing dishes with a rag that was dirtier than the dishes themselves
2) practically always had diarrhoea which would leave flecks of shit sprayed all over the toilet which she never cleaned off - so if I wanted to use a toilet that was not covered in someone else's shit, I had to clean up someone else's shit
3) - related to diarrhoea also - if she ever bought toilet roll, which was extremely rare, she would buy the absolute cheapest, grey recycled ass-sandpaper possible - 1 roll... after she had used the four-pack of the nice, white toilet roll I had bought.
4) only had one friend who was over for dinner literally every day - during which they would cook a meal together using food I had bought. A meal for two.

My roommate used to feel asleep with real bright lights on his face and loud music playing. Somehow the shit that keeps most people awake would make him sleepy.

Wasn't annoying though, he would sleep while I was in class, he understood that it was not cool to do this when I was trying to sleep.

>>2781458
>>Like starring at me, creeps me the fuck out.
>>stand over my shoulder watching me play.
>>he'll be starring at me...

RAEP IS IMINENTTTT.

RUN.

Can't remember if i read this on the internet or a friend told me about it.

Basicly these guys were sharing a room with a complete crackhead, was rarely without drugs, one day after a night on the piss they got back into the room when the crackhead immediatle exclamed that he had captured a leprechaun or dwarf or something and had locked it in a cuboard in the kitchen.

they took off whatever was keeping the cuboard closed and opened it to find some kid with downs syndrome inside.

>>2779003

>> He was like some kind of ADD Superhero who's kryptonite was pidgeons... and who's arch-nemesis could make stuff explode

HOLY FUCK I LAUGHED HARD.

I left my room for a weekend, and when I came back, my roommate's girlfriend's underwears were being hung next to my chair to dry. Not that it's unpleasant to see her panties right in front of my fan, but still...

>>2781896
that's the funniest shit I've read the whole week

>>2781169

You know how some movies are so bad they're actually good?

This is so gay, it's actually straight.

>>2781896

it was funnier on b3ta.

>>2782019
Glad I'm not the only one, I wish I knew
someone like that.

I'm rooming with 3 others and my girlfriend. There's a bachelor and a couple living with us. I put my TV in the living room and set up my 360 for a while, the other couple would play Soul Calibur and rent games for it. Later they get their own TV for their room and buy a Wii. I let my dad borrow my 360 for a while, so they bring out their Wii and hook it up cuz my TV is bigger, but they put a fucking parental control on it. The girl wants to play her Bleach fighting game so I look online and find out how to bypass the parental controls (super easy, by the way). Next day, their Wii is back in their room because they can no longer block us out. Jerks.

>>2781896

Hahahaha oh God I hope that's true bro

I'm into weird/stupid stuff depending how you see it and my rooom mate flat out told me I was burning in hell for it.

She also sucked off the Community Assistant or something to get out of trouble for a campus alcohol violation

I love southern Baptist girls.

>>2781479
How the fuck did you get away with that "wat"? Is the robot off or something?

>>2782453
The quotes count.

I live in a flat with 10 other people, its not that bad except for the kitchen which is CONSTANTLY filthy. No free space on surfaces loads of mouldy food in fridge etc.
Mainly its the nights which they go out and come back screaming which annoys me...

I knew a girl who gets piss on the toilet, are they suppose to do that?

>>2782749

I'll bet you $100 by paypal that she's asian

>>2781286
>literally hiding in this closet

as opposed to figuratively hiding in the closet?

>>2781896

HOLY SHIT I LOL'ed so hard!

>>2782976

You know that that is actually a figurative expression, right? For repressed/hidden homosexuality?

>>2781896
Was a bash quote
http://www.bash.org/?794379

>>2777106
dude how did you sleep in a folder?

>>2783069

I just forwarded that story to everyone in my office.

>>2783044

Not the guy, but if the story is of a guy walking out of a closet, then there is no possible way he could be referring to homosexuality, hence literally is just being pretentious.

I am a bad roommate. Sorry Kelly.

I'm a guy. And 28. Live(d) with a girl who was 20, not dating just roomates. I was in the Navy and in EOD which is where I defuse IEDS and shit. She thought I had PTSD and was fucked in the head I believe but was too scared to ever confront me or say anything save for extreme things.

I'd sit in my room fucked up on pain and anxiety meds. My desktop was hardcore pornography and I never turned it off. I had about 300 gigs of porno on my E hard drive. I'd masturbate with her in the room when she was asleep and she woke up to it pissed many a time.

I'd work out (push ups, pull ups, sand bag shit too cheap for a gym) when she was there and I think it'd smell, i'd get sweat over shit. Left the sweat clothes in the room.

Every time she had friends/boyfriend over I'd be fucked up on drugs and looking at porno on /b/ or playing an FPS game. I never did the dishes, I shaved my head in the sink in front of the mirror, and left stubble shit there. I had a full bead that connected to my chest. Never socialized with her or her friends really. When one touched my pills I told them I'd slit their throat and throw them in a wood chipper. I had loaded guns in my room, which I owned legally. Pissed the fuck out of her since she thought i was insane and was an anti gun slut.

Near the end of the 6 months I lived with her she stopped having guys/friends over and stopped trying to even make eye contact with me.

>>2784017
You sir, are a douchebag. And a freak. Fapping while shes there?

>>2784017
You were in 'Nam too man?

>>2784017
This man seems like the personification of everything women hate.

>>2784094
given that, I'm surprised she wasn't all over his dick.

>>2784101
I dont think women like bald bearded gun toting alcoholic drug ridden fuck ups.

>>2784017
Don't be so hard on yourself, and definitely don't listen to these guys here. They don't know.
I'm ROTC at a military college now, and we've had some instructors that had been EOD. That shit can mess you up bad, but most people don't know how fucking lucky we are to have EOD guys. So many casualties avoided, thanks to you guys. That's what I call service.

>>2784161
that's pretty much exactly what women like.

>>2784205
I wouldnt have to buy prostitutes if this were the case.

>>2784227
you're looking in the wrong places.

I had a middle aged white-trash dyke alcoholic roommate who was on disability and a former cop. Jesus that was bad.

>>2784184
Service with a smile?

i had a bunch of random room mates.
if you want to watch a movie about a guy with a lot of fucked up housemates try and find "he died with a felafel in his hand"
comes with hardcore seperatist lesbians, fridge pissers, obscure japanese girls, brothel crawlers and psycho drama queens.

>>2777223

lol women
she's right, if you go to the doctor they can't do anything for a broken toe

I shared a room with 2 other guys. Quick characteristics:
- Mathematician, shy, introvertic, catholic. Never drinks more than 1 beer, never goes out etc.
- Biologist. Works 90% of time or sleeps. Not much to tell.
- and me partying a lot, getting drunk, girls and so on

They never mentioned anything but they secretly hated me :D

>>2784595
>I'm a filthy liar.

Good for you.

I knew a girl whose roommate was pretty weird. I never met the girl, but apparently she was the shy, nerdy type. Which is cool and all, but in the dorms here, they make roommates fill out mutual agreement forms; basically so everyone can compromise on study habits, bed times, etc. My friend didn't get out of class until 7 each day, when she had her boyfriend come over and hang out. The roommate wanted visiting hours to end at 4PM. Also, apparently my friend would wake up in the middle of the night to see her roommate just staring at her from the other side of the room. And she would constantly talk to herself.

Speaking of this i need a roommate.

San Loius Opispo...

I'm male, 19. Drinks and does drugs alone. Keeps to himself. Pisses and shits in the toilet. Does not steal shit (THIS MEANS YOU DONT TOUCH MY FUCKING DRUGS EITHER FAGGOTS), spends most of time either on the computer or stoned when not at school. Stays up until 1AM usually. Showers every other day.

Oh, and another one of my friends was rooming with a girl who was in a very serious relationship with some kid who was joining the military. It was a long distance relationship, so they talked to each other on their webcams all the time. Except, when they weren't talking, they left the webcam link open to each others' rooms, even when the other one wasn't there. ALL the time.

>>2784017
You are everything I want to be.

>>2784761
he sounds like a loser? why?

My old roomate was a black guy. Chill dude, we got along good, not too deeply, but he was always down to kick my ass in Madden or Halo, played alot of MGS ("Snake is a smooth nigga man"). Smoked a lot of pot too, I didn't smoke before I met him, but shit the dude was always smoking so I had no choice but to burn with him sometimes out of boredom.

Only problem with the guy was he used to steal alot of pussy from me, inadvertently though, so I could never really find it in my heart to be pissed at such a good natured guy, anytime I came home with a chick in an attempt to give us private time he would go "aight imma go smoke some green dawg, peace" and then 5 out of 10 girls would be all like "oh really? I want to smoke, why don't you smoke with me and anon?", then he would proceed to get their number and eventually fuck them before me. Then again I'm skinny and white and he was a big black dude.

>>2784661
>
I'm male, 19. Drinks and does drugs alone. Keeps to himself. Pisses and shits in the toilet. Does not steal shit (THIS MEANS YOU DONT TOUCH MY FUCKING DRUGS EITHER FAGGOTS), spends most of time either on the computer or stoned when not at school. Stays up until 1AM usually. Showers every other day.

you are me down to a t, age, being on pc etc, except i work and piss in the sink occasionally. oh and i live in north london. nice to meet you anon

>>2784920
Im the same way. i have no game. I don't bring girls around my friends ;(

Weirdest so far was a meth cook who had a recent bullet wound in his leg. He hated his crutches so he just hobbled around, but he would always use them to get one of those motorized carts at the grocery store. He loved to drive around the grocery store with KY and Magnums in the bin and hit on girls. We lived right to UCI housing so he was always trying to pick up girls a decade younger than him. He was weird in the most awesome ways possible.

My roommate was Andrew Warrington.

>>2784556
You are a fucking idiot then. My sister shattered the bone in her big toe. She had to get surgery and had pins in her toe for 6 weeks.